there are so many things to say, and i don't know where to start, or how to say them all. it's like when you're really hungry and you get a whole bunch of food, and then once you start eating you're not hungry anymore. well.... kinda.

anyways... let's see.... Friday I finally got my butt out of bed and drove down to SD. First stopping off in Poway to meet up with Angelee.. we were supposed to go shopping, but in combination with my late departure and the massive retardation of traffic (what the heck are people doing on the road at noon on friday.. don't they have work or something?) we didn't get to go. it was quite funny though because right after i got on the 15 traffic was backed up, and i found out because avocados were spilled alllll over the freeway.. there was green and brown mush everywhere (guacamole anyone?) and cops with push brooms trying to clean it up. man.. what a waste of avocados.. i should have got out and saved some... haha.. that's what my mom would have done. jk. anyways.. chilled out at ben's IMMACULATE house. man.. i wish i could live there.. I would commute to ucsd from poway just to live in his hilltop house, it'd be so worth it. haha.. and watched pokemon and jeopardy on his kickass split screen tv. i'm going to live like that someday. anyways, drove over to kristen and jill's... chilled out. checked out the jason and jane show.. it was pretty cool. one of the girls there knew one of my sister's friends.. it was the whole six degrees thing, small world. saturday, after getting three hours of sleep, went to the kiwanis pancake breakfast. i was SO tired.. and i had to keep walking around to keep myself awake, because if i ever stopped and sat down, i'd fall asleep. i wore my princeton sweatshirt and everyone oohed and aahhed until i told them that i really went to UCSD. it's so weird how people treat you differently based on what they think you're like. like whether you're dressed up, dressed down, wearing an ivy league sweatshirt. anyways.. i did get hit on by some dirty old man yet again this year *shudder* but it made my day when three really hot boys showed up. me and tanya giggled the whole time there were there in between the drooling.. jk later house hunted a little bit, but i was SO tired that i just konked out. dinner with Sakura and Carol, they cooked.. yum! and then the Austin Powers movie. it was good, but not like great... maybe the effect has worn out, or i just expect too much. it was still funny, and i laughed a lot, but it's not like OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO GO SEE... but if you're looking for a good time, call nicole.. oops I mean.. go see the movie. jk on sunday, house hunted with jill. she is my savior, she was like house hunting nazi and made me drive around and call and look at places. she's a pro, because i'm retarded and didn't know how to do anything.. so thanks jill, you rock. but still i didn't find a place because i suck.. so i'm still homeless. g-a-i-y-e. had pizza at home with kristen and spent the evening with the tv and the jason mraz video. kristen was in love. hahahaha. monday, did a little bit of the house hunting, applied for place, thought about a few more places. i don't know exactly what i'm going to do because money and distance are two big factors and too bad the closer i live the more expensive it is. i asked my dad and he told me just to wait until i come back from ICON but i feel like that would be too late. but at the same time.. i have no idea what i'm going to do. yay cardboard box here i come. got to hang out with Taylor and his dog Sarge.. it was lots of fun, we just talked, had lovely conversation.. haha.. gave him his late late late birthday present wrapped in *nsync christmas wrapping paper... that was his favorite part :) ate at joe's crab shack with kristen, it was YUMMY, and then raced home for road rules and sorority life. drove back to torrance at 11pm, and got all freaked out because they shut down the freeway and made everyone take a detour and i swore i was going to get lost, but i didn't, so i was glad. got home and fell asleep, woke up this morning with the lights on, in yesterday's clothes and bad bad breathe (mm. pretty mental images)

today was fun, i went to work... and SHOOK HANDS WITH DARRIN HENSON.. the MAN who choreographed some of *NSYNC's dances. man.. i'm that much closer to JC. he seemed like a super nice guy, asked me my name, introduced himself to a nobody like me. hehehe... maybe he just came from JC's house and shook his hand too.. i could have JC on my hand! heheheheh.. (yes i know.. i'm retarded). anyways.. that was my excitement for today.. drove in fatty traffic to the Virgin Megastore in LA to meet Howie Day. it was alright.. it seemed real nice as well. got my cd autographed.. blah blah blah. ate in n out for dinner while driving home and proceeded to spill crap all over myself, but got home, watched a tape of big brother 3 (from saturday) right after THE BEST CAR CHASE I'VE EVER SEEN.. this guy like got swipe by this van as he sped through the red-light intersection, spun around, almost ran over a pedestrian, kept going, got on the freeway going the wrong way, made some crazy spins and turns, finally started going the right way only to make another crazy turn to go back the wrong way when the cops started chasing him again, his car gave out and he tried to run and jump over fences.. in the end.. he was caught, like they always do. it's just fun to watch I guess.. (you can tell i'm from LA) with my dad yelling "shoot him! shoot him!" and me yelling "run! run! goooooo!" and my mom going "aiya"... it's definitely Q.T. with the family. hahahaha. this one was way exciting though.

i do leave for ICON in less than a week though. that's way crazy.. summer is almost already over. yikes.

it's been a long week. i now intern tues, wed, thurs, and seriously.. working three days in a row, driving 1 hour both ways.. i am SO not used to. i mean.. i've worked 40+ hour work weeks before, but nothing like a real job, working at the gap, computer camp.. shit like that. i dunno.. something about this is just so different, and i'm only doing menial things.. maybe that's the problem. but anyways.. it's alright. wednesday i alphabetized scripts into the script library ... yay. (not).. and then today.. was SO great. it was really busy, which made me happy because i felt like i was serving a purpose. so yeah.. i was doing breakdowns, got to answer the phones again (i was a little less retarded) and then it got really hectic, and these people came in for a meeting, and then DONALD FAISON walks through the door. i was so excited cuz Clueless is like my ALL-TIME fav movie... and he's just such a cutey. and then.. i was told to wrap this gift for a client.. and little did i know it was for Donald. I WRAPPED DONALD FAISON'S BIRTHDAY GIFT. Let the world know... he ripped my fantastic job to shreds in like 5 nanoseconds.. and my heart cried a little for my poor wrapping paper. hehe.. but as he left with his present and his Challenge for the Children basketball, he said "see ya later" to me. YAY!!!! hahaa.. i'm such a huge nerd. so yeah.. Donald Faison was going to go off to play basketball with *NSYNC... which is why we got that call from that chick. Man.. what I wouldn't give to like be his personal assistant for the weekend. Then I could glue myself to JC's pants. :)

Anyways.. that's all, went to Costco, got my pix back, half good, half bad. Talked to Kristen, had waffles for dinner, umm.. nothing much. Going to go watch Big Brother 3.. its' the best :) Going to San Diego tomorrow for the weekend. Hopefully I'll find a frikkin place to live.. AHHH!! *sigh*.. but I'm happy for the most part. Going shopping with Angelee tomorrow.. NORDSTROM'S ANNIVERSARY SALE. although i'm so broke... i need a job, maybe a new corner... the old one's not working.

i stabbed myself with a screwdriver today while i was fixing my dad's chair. there's a huge hole in my finger :( but the chair's fixed. (no nicole, this is not a cry for help)

happy 21st birthday to jill-a! i wish i could be there to celebrate. they went out to get plastered at friday's... and i'm missing out. damn this being home crap. but hopefully we'll go out for a good time this weekend.

my finger hurts.

"pooooooooooooooor unfortunate souls. so sad, so true"

i am SO bored. i'm at work right now, and everyone's out at lunch, so the intern gets to answer the phones. whoo hoo. the highlight of my day though this lady named Beth called, and she said she was from somewhere, and I thought some company. So I asked again where she was from, and she said "*NSync.." all slow (like I was retarded) "like the group" and then much like the Eli Swanson episode I got all choked up and was unable to speak. I should have made her wait and tell me all the details. I don't know. Anyways... *sigh.. I wish I could intern for them... haha.. knowing them though, I'd probably never even meet them even if I did intern for them. Celebrity bastards.

Anyways.. it's been a chill couple of days. Dinner with the fam on Friday, chillin at home on Saturday. I went to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding and dinner at the Kettle with Benji that night. hehehe.. we were arguing over who was going to drive to who, and I won!! hahaha.. eat my dust Benji. The movie was good, it made me a little sad like all love stories do, but I guess the moral is that "anyone can find love, yes even you" so it either makes me happy because it gives me hope, or makes me sad because I'm such a loser that I can't find love when everyone else, even the seemingly hopeless can. (yes.. i know.. i'm lame). Anyways.. that was fun. Sunday my dad went to work, so my mom and I hung out, ran errands, did some shopping. We got to Costco too late and they were packing up all the sample carts. sad.. that's the worst... like.. so close, but so far away. Monday I hung out with my dad because he didn't have work. I was supposed to come in to intern, but I was going to switch days anyways, so I figure hey.. why not. Plus, if I hadn't then I wouldn't have gotten the call from Beth from *Nsync. hahahahahha. Anyways. so I'm sittin here, chillin.

I didn't realize that ICON and LSSP were so soon. I thought I had a few weeks still.. like a month almost, and I was talking to Megan, and she leaves this Wednesday.. and realized that I leave in less than two weeks!! Crazy.. I haven't thought about what I'm wearing, or gone shopping for ICON clothes. But it's kind of exciting to think it's so close. But soon it will be over.. and then I will be sad. And then summer will end I still have no place to live and haven't made any money.. wow.. time flies. Okay.. enough blogging.. I'm even getting bored of this. I want to go home.

"and then there was one"

yay.. i have pretty pretty pictures. muchas gracias to joey who helped me out with my picture problems, and a big no thanks to manny who is completely useless. :P

anyways.. today was whatevers.. dragged my sorry butt out of bed to go to my internship. it was a lazy day at the office, sent out casting letters. same thing i do everyday. went out to dinner with my parents. it was funny because she called me on my cell while i was at work, and she was all mad and asked "where are you" and i told her i was at work. but she wanted to if i wanted to go out to dinner, which is funny because i was actually going to call her to see if she wanted to come out to dinner. funny. anyways.. her and my dad and i went to this vegetarian all you can eat place in torrance. it was pretty good, i was fully stuffed. came home, lounged around, and played with my blogger. and now it's purrtty... by the way.. if you can't tell the fourth picture is of my sister WHEN SHE MET JC!!!!! *sigh

"thanks again freakies.. you make me smile."

yay.. i'm a little happier today. my shoutbox is back. my page doesn't look quite so lonely, but the shoutbox does... so go shout :) i'd love you forever for it. also, i found out today that we got the villa for convention. haha.. i told nicole that if we had got it, i'd never leave my room. hahaha.. goodbye convention. but that makes me happy, i was screaming and jumping up and down and my dad thought i was crazy. and then he asked me when i was leaving, and then do you know what he said? "oh good, that means i'll have some quiet now" ew.. today i just chilled, worked out, and hung out with my daddy.. he's so cute. i took the cutest izone of us at the mall, i'll have to find someway to put it up here. house hunted (gay) and did other sorts of errands. it was quite a non-eventful day. oh yeah.. one last thing.. i did something really lame and funny today, like sending out a weird email, and i feel like a fool now, but i did it.. and now i'm laughing at myself. oh jeebus. we'll just see what happens.

but i would like to say thanks to sakura and kimmy and manny and amanda for talking to me, making me laugh, giving me good advice, understanding.. you know what you did. *muah*

sakura: *muah*
jean: mwaw
sakura: no.. it's not mwaw, it's *mmmmmuah!*

so when i originally started this blog, and i thought of the title, it was something that i made up, that just seemed to fit. i guess my blogger could fit in where tv is, although sometimes it is not so cooperative. but when i made up the title.. it was based on the fact that when i was little, and my parents were working, my sister off doing her own things..the tv was the only one that would always be there for me. it kept me company when i needed it, made me laugh, it was always there for me, no matter what. although this seems lame and selfish and dorky, i do find comfort in stability and knowing that something will always be there for me.

in other episodes of today, this was not the case. i complained the other day about what a crappy situation i was in, well it got worse. and i complain not so that you will feel pity for me, but so that i can vent freely without feeling bad that i forcing anyone to listen to me whine. i guess this week is just not a good week for trusting people. i laid myself out on the line and i got screwed over, twice. i trusted people, and got let down by people who PROMISED they wouldn't, and people that i wouldn't let down because i believed they wouldn't do it to me, but i was wrong. and it's hard to swallow, and hard not to be bitter, because right now i am a bitter bitter angry girl.. and so i'm sorry if i'm bringing anyone down, there's only so much shit one person can take. and people pretend they care so that they can make themselves feel better, or they justify it as survival of the fittest, but there comes a point when you should consider others in your action. and when you choose to fuck someone else over irreparably, because it's what's best for you, don't expect any sympathy, compassion or understanding in return. i honestly have cried so much this past week, that people who are my friends wouldn't have put me through that, wouldn't have made me hurt so much. so right now.. i guess i don't really know anymore. it's hard to trust people, when people that you trusted so much don't come through, so what's to say for the rest of the people you trust.

"promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it"

today has been a day of all sorts. good, bad, ugly...

one thing i forgot to say that happened on saturday night. i got water bombed!! i was driving, and there was a loud boom and water all over my windshield. i felt like josie grossie when she got attacked by eggs from her hs prom date. sadness. it also made my rearview mirror fall off, a little krazy glue, and i was back in action. sunday was chill, i had a hot dinner date with sakura, and then drove back to la. near the checkpoint, there was this truck on fire and i was in trafiic, and didn't move for like 10 minutes. people like turned off their cars and got out. we should have thrown a big party on the freeway. haha.. came home, and watched A Walk to Remember. it was so cute, and mandy moore is so cute, i wish i could be her. shane west was such a sweetie. awww.... okay.. i'll stop.

today i went to my internship, i stayed an hour later, but it was okay. i was hard at work. i got drool over more headshots of my future husband Eli Swanson. and then i got to call clients, including mr. hottie. oh my gosh... i was so nervous, and i might have peed my pants if i actually talked to him, but it was his voicemail, and i left a message, stumbling over all my own words the entire time. i tried to figure out this thing online, and i was so frustrated, and i called the help guy like 5 times, i bet he thought i was a moron. i felt like a total ass everytime he was like "hi jean..." drove home, chilled, ate, did random stuff.

my night turned really bad though. like shane west's character in A Walk to Remember, he didn't have any faith because he had been let down too many times. and i'm kind of like that, except I'm not smart enough to accept it, and keep on having this naivete about the world that i can trust people, and not to turn your back on other people because it's not nice, and others wouldn't turn their back on you. so yeah.. i know i sound cynical, but there are so many times that i've been let down. needless to say, i had a bitch of a night. it was not pleasant. and i guess i really do need to be more careful about who i trust, who i talk to, who i make friends with, who i open up to, because in the end everyone will just trample all over you if you let them. but that's hard.. because i'm not a confrontational person, and i'm not naturally hateful.. so i don't know. thanks to ryan and kimmy, and some night time running i cleared my heard... although still pretty peeved. i don't know what i'm going to do. one more thing... parents are so hard to please. you do one thing, and they want you to do more. you don't do anything, they only want you to do the one thing. but in the end, unless you've done everything, you might as well have not done anything. sounds like some more trampling's a'comin.

"sleeping to dream about you, and i'm so tired" - jmraz

it's been a slow couple of days... nothing too exciting, just my life. thursday.. i went out with the family to go out for my dad's birthday. it was kind of exciting, just fun hanging out with the family. my sister asked about birthday parties when they were little, and although they didn't really have parties, my dad said he had a 20th birthday party but wouldn't tell us what he did at it, and my mom told us stories about when she was drunk at the moon festival. hahhaha.. it's so cute when we actually talk about stuff like that. that night i also went on a cleaning spree and sorted stuff in the living room and the family room. i got sick of not having a place to sit down (yes.. my house is that messy)... and so i cleaned until like 4am (bad me).. and dragged myself out of bed the next for my internship. drove in fatty traffic.. but.. i got to send out resumes and headshots trying to get people auditions. hehehe.. they guy in the britney spears video is so hot... i drooled all over his headshot. Along with this guy Kaya Wittenberg... I didn't know who he is... but he was way hot.. and he was on Temptaition Island!!! hahahahahha so anyways.. that's me being lame. they were casting for dawson's and i was so tempted to like steal it and send my own resume and like 4x6 picture in. yes.. i'm lame i know.

umm.... that was my friday.. OOH.. so i got to hang out with my sister on friday night. i went with her and her roommates to go see Lilo & Stitch although i totally
didn't want to see it at all when i saw the commercials. it was totally cute, and i really enjoyed it.. haha. i even almost started crying at the sad parts. damn nicole for being right! anyways.. it was super cute.. go watch it.

today i drove down to san diego to go house hunting again. it was a little meager.. but then jill-a and i went to go see this one house on Mt. Soledad.. it was EXCELLENT
it was such a nice house, now we just have to get it. it would be perfecto. *sigh* i'm really hoping for that house it would be the answer to all my dreams. anyways.. chilled with jill and kristen... watched tv - yay.. real world and big brother 3.. whooo hoo. oh.. and a mary kate and ashley movie. this one actually made me a little sick.. hahha went on a late night ice cream and roberto's run. perfection. hahaahha.. it's like that one episode of friends...


"on second thought, gum would be perfection"

wow.. i feel like today was long.. because i actually got up at an hour of a working person. but before i start ranting and raving only to be shot down by people who really did have a hard day.. today was definitely HOT and you cannot debate me on that.

mm. let's move back to yesterday though.. i woke up at 2 (oooh.. exciting.. i know).. but it was bad because i felt sluggish all day. I did get to squeeze in some Passions though... and they changed Ethan!! yuk.. there's not reason to watch that show now.. haha. anyways.. ooh.. another discovery I made. Since we don't have cable, we have an antenna, so sometimes we get those fuzzy in between channels (no.. not like the fuzzy porn channels you sicko.) but like channel 6 and 12 (san diego channels).. anyways.. they show garfield and alvin and the chipmunks and clarissa explains it all on channel 12!! i so miss alvin and the chipmunks. the only drawbacks are a)it's fuzzy and b)they're in spanish. man... i knew those 5 years paid off for something. too bad i only understand half of what they're saying. but it's the weirdest thing.. i find myself watching those shows instead of regular programming... just like i'd watch the world cup in spanish instead (or maybe i just liked to hear the "GOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL") anyways.. that's me. went to go eat dinner with Carrie and then worked out at the Bally's in Santa Monica. they charge 50 cents for parking!! how janky is that? i mean.. you already pay enough to be a member.. and there is no parking as it is in West LA.. and then they charge you to go park at the gym!! jeebus.

today i woke up gigundoly early to go to my "production" portion of my internship. i left at 8:15am.. the earliest i've woken up i think all summer and as far as work goes.. i did the same thing.. filing.. at least it was easier.. mostly just entering titles into the script log. i got to take home some scripts to read.. some will & grace ones, dawson's creek and other movies that weren't made. hehe.. now i can be a nerd like Nicole and read! hahaha (jk babe.. i lub you!) mm.. not too much else.. met one of the other interns, and ended up leaving around 2. sat through nasty traffic, had Jack for lunch. i ordered the sourdough jack combo specifically for the antenna ball (go dodgers!) and the lady tried to stiff me!!! she handed me the bag and i checked for the ball and it wasn't in there, so i had to ask for it. i was in drive thru, so i felt kind of bad holding up the line.. but DUDE.. she tried to cheat me out of an antenna ball!!! man.. i'm glad i checked.. or i seriously would have went postal when i got home. it would have been just like that other time that joan got all crazed when they forgot her hamburger.. man.. she threw the biggest shitfit.. it still cracks me up today.. hahahahah me and Angelee would be like.. "man.. don't piss Joan of or she'll go all Jack in the Box on you" hahah.. aww.. i'm so sad that that girl moved.. i'll have to tell her my story though. she'll get a good laugh. mm.. tried to go to guitar class at the torrance cultural arts center.. but i think i looked up the wrong thing.. it was soooo cute though.. there was this kids hip hop dance class. man i wish my parents enrolled me in that when i was little.. haha i could do the booty dance right along with kristen. mm.. chilled at home, watched tv, ooh. i bought the avril lavigne cd. (yes.. carrie.. i know i can burn it) but it was only $5.99.. and so i figure.. so a few extra bucks you can get the real thing! it's pretty good so far. didn't work out today.. although i'm kind of getting discouraged.. i don't think it's working so well.. i still all "big boned" eh... chit chatted.. met some new people online.. so that was way fun. and talked to all my old friendies..caught up with some missing ones.. it was a fun night for online talking. i had the most interesting conversation with Kristen though.. *sigh.. sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on so much... one day... Anyways.. downloaded some new music That's pretty much it. Tomorrow's another lazy day.. and then Friday's interning, and then Saturday I'm going down to SD to house hunt. yay.... (SORRY i can't go to your thing Ryan!!) ooh.. I did watch Big Brother though tonight.. it was good.. haha.. i like that show.. i don't care what any of you retards think. :P

one last thing... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!

"but i do know one thing,
it's where you are, is where i belong
I do know, where you go, is where i wanna be" - dmb

today's been an okay day... at least it's ended pretty well.. i feel alright :)

hmm. today was my first day on intern-ing and edmonds management.. woo woo. i'm basically a pee-on though, making copies, running errands, organizing stuff, filing stuff.. yada yada yada. i guess i could be doing worse things though. heheh.. i surfed the internet for a little bit in the little nook they let me sit in, while not doing other things, but hehe.. i have an actual place i guess. i DID however find that they (we?) represent the guy from the oops i did it again video (the astronaut.. who could forget him) and darren henson!! (of darren's dance grooves!) along with some other exciting people (like rosario dawson).. but those two ranked high on my sordid list. hahahaha

drove home, traffic wasn't too icky.. although i do have a real problem with speeding up real fast and then having to come a complete stop. i swear.. i need to be careful or else i'm totally going to rear end someone and that would suck hard core. ate dinner with my daddy and chilled before Carrie came to pick me up. ooh.. the new Dave cd was leaked and so i promptly downloaded it and burned it.. whoo hoo.. free music. man.. i'm totally gonna go to jail. bad bad me.. anyways it's good.. it's very dave of course. it's nice and relaxing .. it's faboo. Carrie and I worked out, and aside from the broken treadmills, icky id card picture, and me being way sick and congested, it was okay. ate afterwards (yes.. defeating the purpose.. we're still trying to work on that).. but.. i may have found a new possibility for a job. the graveyard shift at denny's. yes ... i know it's SUPER crazy.. but i am one broke ass mofo with a need for lots of money. i dunno.. i kind of really want to do it.. i must be insane!

got the ftp server to work to feed my addiction to jason mraz, and chit chatted with friends. ooh.. last night I watched the DAYS tape that angelee made me. it was the entire week of days of our lives when sami gets her rear end kicked in by austin. IT WAS THE BEST!!! five episodes, no commercials ~ austin caught her lying, broke off the engagement, left sami bawling at the alter.. man austin is SO hot. but anyways.. it was so great.. and it was a long time coming, she was not allowed to marry austin, and she totally deserved what she got.. and i was SO excited.. i was squealing like a five year old child. my family thought i was insane. so THANKS angelee mucho times over.. it's a tape i will cherish forever. and if you ever want to watch it.. just let me know! it's great.

"good girl. here i'll give you two dollars and you can go buy yourself some boba"

okay.. so i realize just how corny that quote was last time.. but i thought it should be fitting since it was the 4th, although it just seems quite lame. anyways... i haven't really been up to much, despite the fact that there are probably a million things for me to do right now. friday i was left carless, but carrie came and fetched me and we went shopping. except for the fact that i had gotten sick somewhere along the 4th and was dripping snot all over the mall. it was pretty disgusting. carrie dropped me off at home so i could rest up before going out again later that evening, but i just ended up staying in bed all evening and sleeping through my miserableness.

saturday, still feeling pretty crappy i dragged my lazy-self over to the service committee carwash. i whored myself out on the corner (in the daytime nonetheless) holding a carwash sign. i don't think that helped at all, but it got me out of washing cars! i don't think dripping snot all over these people's car was good for them anyways. went to the service committee and dlssp meetings and went home to rest. slept a lot more and didn't really do much else. except had a long conversation with nicole... about... anything and everything.. i don't even remember. i just remember that Nicole and Carlene were talking on yahoo messenger and trying to get some guy to take his shirt off. hahahah..

today was another "i feel like shit ran over twice" days, so i stayed in, chit chatted on the phone, cleaned my room (yeah.. i must really be sick) and eh.. not too much else. did some more stressin' about house stuff. it sucks hot monkey ass. but i hope you're having a good day.

"and if my day keeps going this way i just might rip your f*in face tonight!"

So another fourth of july has come and gone. This one was pretty good. I started out really bummed because I wanted to go up north with Kristen to Ryan's party, and bummed that my parents wouldn't let me... but I guess they saved me from 7 hours in the car. Bummed around the house a little bit and then went out to Whittier to help our at a CKI project. How sad... I'm doing Circle K stuff on the 4th. I felt a little bad because my dad gave me a hard time wanting to go up north and not spend time with him.. but then he let me go to Whittier. So I don't know if it was just that he didn't want me to drive up north, or he just got tired of me not wanting to hang out with him... it made me a little sad.. like I let him down. :( I have this weekend though right? Anyways.. Carrie and I handed out programs, while Manny and Armando directed traffic... ooh.. fun. It was all good we milled around afterwards and then Armando brought Cindy Brigham (the Int'l Pres of CKI) and Chris Zock (a past Int'l Pres), who were in Anaheim for the Key Club ICON, to mingle. Although, we tossed around a lot of inside jokes, and think we might have scared them with our eccentricities.. but I guess we're just too cool for them. hahahah.. jk. Joe showed up with his sis, and we all watched the fireworks, which I really really enjoyed. It totally beats having to watch them from like behind Torrance High where you can only see half the show because my parents didn't want to leave earlier. ghetto... But the fireworks were really good.. haha I almost started crying...duuumb.. Anyways.. then we met up with Nicole and her mom and sis, chit chatted a little and waited for traffic to clear and then we took Chris and Cindy to In N Out.. mm..... I think really it was just an excuse for us to go.. hahaha. Chris is funny as all hell and in conjunction with Mondo's driving almost made Manny crap his pants. hahahah.. It was the funniest thing when Manny refused to go in the Hilton so he wouldn't be mistaken for a Key Clubber and so he told Mondo to go to the Marriott, and Mondo forgot and drove past it, and then had to circle back why Manny threatened to let loose in the back seat while I was totally dying up front. *sigh*.. I guess you just had to be there. But it was good to see Chris and chit chat for a little bit.

ps... thanks Mondo for giving us a ride home .. since SOMEONE else ditched up for her priorities :P

"and i'd gladly stand up, next to you, and defend her still today, cuz there ain't no doubt, i love this land, god bless the usa"

wow.. this world is pretty crazy. I woke up this morning and while turning on the TV to hope and find some re-run or a soap opera, I find that there's been a shooting at LAX. It's crazyness... but what's even weirder is that the news people were talking about how relatively calm the crowd was while they were waiting away from the area. And I don't know if it's just a statement about people in LA.. like.. we're so used to the crazyness that sometimes it doesn't phase us anymore. Like when I see car chases on TV, it's not a huge deal.. it's kind of a guilty pleasure. But anyways.. it's hard to see things like this happen though. It's so weird that the world and the people can be like this. But there's only so much I can take, I had to stop watching the news and here comes reruns of Sister Sister and Full House.

i hate house hunting.. it is so god awful frustrating. the house we wanted last time got rented out before we got a chance to apply, and so i had the applications all ready this time, and they tell me that yesterday the owners decided they didn't want co-signers. which means.. me and my three roommates have to make 3 times rent which is $5700. yeah.. some goddamn bizzos are trying to deter college kids form living in their house. what the heck.. they need to pull the great big stick from out of their arse. *phew*.. sorry for all the negativity.. but this whole me being homeless and not having a place to live next year despite all the constant crap i've been through kind of puts me on an edge. i am so frustrated because these places that we want are either a)too expensive, b)too far away, c)not the right amount of rooms, or d)all of the frikkin above. ARRGGH!!

went to go workout with Carrie today.. it was good.. except we went out and ate afterwards. it was really bad.. and we got horrible service too. hahaa.. and Carrie agreed too... so it wasn't just me being a difficult snob. but anyways. it was hilarious because when I got in her car.. guess what CD was playing.. JASON MRAZ! hehehe.. and she tried so hard to hate him too.. just to give me a hard time.. BUT SHE CAN'T .. neener neener neener.. Then we went on to discuss what good taste I have.. haha.. wow, I sound like an ego-maniac. Anyways.. here's a tip for y'all.. no eating (esp. cheese fries and ice cream) after you work out. We need to have more self-control.

anyways.. that was my day kids.. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!! oh yeah.. and happy birthday to Ryan Billings!

jeanyah: pete I hate house hunting
CKI Pete: AMEN
CKI Pete: A-frikkin-MEN

oh man.. i just finished like 4 hours of circle k work... yes.. i came home roughly after midnight and started doing cki work.. and just finished a few minutes ago.. wow.. be proud of me. :) anyways.. that should be it for awhile.. haha jk. I guess I just was feeling like a bit of a slacker.. everyone was doing their stuff, taking care of what they needed to do.. and I was sitting around actually enjoying my summer.. hahaha.. oh well.

today i actually paid for my membership to Bally's.. despite my mother's constant attempt to have me use free guest passes for the entire summer. I tried to explain to my mother that I couldn't use guest passes the entire summer because they'd recognize me as not a "perspective member" but just a freeloader... she didn't seem to get it.. or care. Gotta love that asianess. Anyways... now I guess since I paid money for it.. I should go huh? Then I went to Carrie's to pick up the drug money she owed me. Listened to her babble on the phone and watched her MTV.. since I don't get cable at home. hehe.. she made me read lame horoscope stuff... but on the good note, she becoming under the spell of Jason Mraz.. ahahah. She's loving him too.. well duh.. there's no reason not to... but yeah.. I think it's funny that she thought I was retarded, but she now SO knows why. hahaha :)

"be so happy with the way you are, just be happy that you made it this far" - jmraz.

so yes... i told my friend that i had to move out of my apartment, and so he told me that i was pretty homeless.. to which i replied.. i was very homeless.. *sigh*

anyways.. so i spent the weekend packing up my house... well i guess that's not all. Friday... I took care of errands and then met up with Ryan and Carrie and Kristina for the JASON MRAZ show. Yes.. I must be super obsessed because I saw him not only twice in two weeks, but no.. three times. *sigh* but he's leaving the state, so I guess I had to get my fill in. Anyways.. yes yes.. I dragged Carrie and Ryan to the show, and Kristina met us there, and then I saw Natalie there too. So anyways.. I was enraptured in the greatness that is Jason Mraz. He is so awesome. The friends left around 2 or 3am from my house, and then I woke up the next day, hunted down Kristen and we went to the Jason Mraz show. I brought my video camera.. but I didn't charge it cuz I thought I had enough battery power. Sucky.. cuz I didn't.. and I only got half. Junk. Anyways.. I'm glad that I got what I did.. so anyone who wants to see him can :) I found out that he's playing at this Lobster Festival in Pedro.. which is totally funny because a)it's right by my house and b)I've never even heard of the Lobster Festival. haha.. but that would be funny.. we'll see if we go, but it's way later.. October. Anyways.. Kristen had FANTABULOUS time.. and was all like "I can totally see why girls are enraptured by him. You look around and you can see everyone staring up in adoration. I understand now." and then I asked her, how about you... and all she could do was smile and nod her head. hahahah. I do feel bad for Carrie and Kristina and Ryan.. because we got there kind of late, and so we had to sit all cramped up in the back, and we weren't in the thick of the action surrounded by the music.. so the whole effect of his live performance is not as great... dah well, they still think he was awesome (cuz he is). okay.. enough gushing.

Sunday I cleaned and packed.. it was so sad to leave my little room behind and see it all empty knowing that I was never going to come back.. boo hoo hoo. I also went on a little house hunting excursion and checked out some houses in Clairemont that looked okay. I just hope we get them.. the last house we really wanted got snatched out from under us. saaaaaaad. anyways... Spend Sunday night at Kristen's house, we had In N Out, talked a lot, it was great... I haven't talked to her for awhile. It was tons of fun. Monday, we ate, walked on the beach, gossipped, giggled, laughed at people online, laughed at ourselves.. and I watched Kristen gush about Jason Mraz.. hahaha.. of course I did some of my own. Also I got to go visit Taylor and chit chatted with him and played with his cute dog. :) It was a good time, I'm sad that I'm not going to be in SD for the summer. hmm.. anyways.. drove home way late at night.. I almost fell asleep.. oops.. woke up today.. was TOTALLY tired.. but it's all good. I don't have to go to my internship this week.. haha.. and I odnt' know what's going on with the whole GAP thing.. but we'll see. ummm... what else is new?