Today has been an interesting day. It's been a beautiful happy day to a day that's made me cry all within the same 24 hours. Really.. I didn't think that it was possible. But first off... because I know this is probably what everyone's talking about.. and I'll probably have something very undignified to say later on about it.. I'll do an umm.. before blog.

So Angelee IM'ed me today.. and this is how our conversation went-
Stbryangel: sucks that Michelle Kwan lost again huh?
jeanyah: dammit
jeanyah: i hate you
jeanyah: i taped it
jeanyah: and you just ruined it
Stbryangel: oh damn
Stbryangel: no i didn't
jeanyah: did you do this last time to me too?
Stbryangel: yeah, but only cause my dad did it first.
Stbryangel: just like he did this time.
Stbryangel: i didn't totally ruin it.
Stbryangel: you still have to watch it.

So anyways.. now I have to watch my taped Olympics, but knowing that I'll be dissapointed in the end. hmm.. sounds familiar, but then I opened up my webpage to blog and I saw this picture that says Hughes wins. so.. yeah.. ruined it even more. Ugh.. what's with this retarded 15 year old little twerps who come and topple the whole system. And what's scarier ... is that I had said awhile ago "dude.. that would suck if that girl was another Tara Lipinski and Michelle Kwan lost to her" what the hell? Maybe I jinxed it? I seem to be causing lots of trouble lately. ew.. what the hell.. I'll sure I'll be furiating when I actually watch the tape... watch out for my rantings when that comes around.

Anyways.. back to today.. god.. it must have been the world's longest day. Well.. except for that time I stayed up for like 36 hours, but it seemed like so much longer. I thought today was going to be quite enjoyable because I didn't have classes. But I stayed up until like 3am talking to Nicole about booty music (shake that ass bitch and let me see what you got!) hehe.. check out that link.. she quoted me in her blog.. yay! and Beth about bloggers and the people who read them. But anyways.. I then had to wake up at 6am for the GAG Kiwanis meeting because State was doing their takeover. I woke up around 6:20.. oops.. picked up Robin and Sakura, and drove on down there. They were serving some nasty corned beef hash that I couldn't even swallow, the Kiwanians adore it... but yet.. call it Alpo.. hmm.. interesting. Listened to the speeches, tried to convince people to go to convention, and schmoozed with the Kiwanians. Went to the Aquarium to make up for ditching it yesterday and called Kathryn to plan to meet her at the aquarium. It was really nice though that I went and had time to just walk my way through the aquarium leisurely. I would have been so stressed out if I had stayed yesterday. But yeah.. I looked at all the marine life and the tanks and did the worksheet (yes.. I am in 2nd grade again). hehe.. I finally got to see the aquarium that they broadcast on UCSD cable 24/7.. hehe.. live! whoo hoo! Anyways.. it made me really miss the aquarium and I thought about all my previous aspirations to be a marine biologist and work at Sea World. So many times I've given up things and not done things because I was too lazy? I'm so lame. But I thought about when I used to volunteer at Cabrillo and give tours to little kids.. and it was so fun, so I think I might do that again at Scripps, and I think that'd be great. After that I went down to the Children's Hospital to help out in the Miracle Mile of Quarters radiothon. I felt really bad because they had asked for Circle K help, and I really couldn't muster it up for them with all the different things going on, so I went down there. Also I think it was due to when I was driving home from the Aquarium, they had this little kid on the radio talking about his experience in the Children's Hospital and at the end he was like Thanks so much.. and it was so cute and totally made me feel like I should do my part. It was chill and I got some free food and drinks and got to sit in the "hot seat" where all the calls came in first. Took the calls, felt like a dork sometimes saying the greeting I had to say, but it was really cool how people chose to donate their money. This one radio station had this thing where they wanted to see who could be the first person to donate $1,000 and I got that call. Hehe.. it was pretty cool, and it was funny because people clapped for me, and would congratulate me .. but really.. all I did was pick up the phone. I mean... it's exciting.. but it's not like I persuaded them to do it.. cuz what are you going to say.. "umm.. I don't think you donating $144 is enough.. how about $1,000?" They'd probably hang up on me. But it was funny because when the next shift of Kiwanians came in, before I left we introduced ourselves and chatted a bit, and they were all like.. "oh you're the Circle K ltg? You're the one who got the $1,000!" and then they'd be all excited for me all over again. It was funny, and I asked how they knew and they were all like.. people talk.. about what? Me? why? They must have nothing better to talk about. Anyways... I was feeling really good after that.. sad that I wasn't able to get a whole big group to go, but hopeful that I could encourage other members to go based on my experience... *yay.. i got Chris to go! And Vivian and I are going back.. that's good right?* hopefully I can get Sakura and Jen to go. :) Anyways... so I came back home, and I was supposed to finish writing my speech that I had to make at the Kiwanis Sponsored Youth DCM, but I kind fell asleep.. oops. Anyways.. funny monkey called me and woke me up (thanks) and I finished writing most of my speech (also while freaking out about it, THANKS NICOLE for calming me down and helping me out) and sped down to the DCM. I was first up (great) and got to chit chat with the Key Club ltg a little bit. Both of the Div. 21 ltg's are great, and thus I got really kinda sad that I hadn't worked with them as much as I had hoped for when I first stepped into office (which seems like not so long ago). Like... how you make so many lofty plans and so many things you want to achieve, but because of one circumstance or another, they don't become realized. I know we could have done so much together if we had just talked more, and the Kiwanis LtG. Jeff seemed like a really witty guy (who is also a UCSD Alum yay!) who cares a lot about the service and the youth. It's like one of those people you can just tell. And while Jennifer made her speech it was much more lively, which made me feel quite boring and lame and dull, but I guess that's what college people are supposed to sound like eh? Well spoken? I don't know.. it's probably just that I'm lame. But I came home with a renewed sense of what I should have accomplished, and what I can do in the next couple weeks to try and make it better. Which is funny because yesterday I was all upset because it seemed like giving up was the only option. I came home, actually cooked myself (not microwaved) dinner and watch some television. I watched this Behind the Music VH1 special on Aaliyah.. it totally made me weep. Her friends were saying such great things and like... talking about how they had just seen her 2 hours and talked about how much they loved each other and how friends and family were always the most important. *sigh.. #1. And then I don't even know how it started but everything just seemed to snowball downwards much rapidly after that. I got into some conversations with people and did some thinking and while emailing I was thinking about how hard it is to motivate people who don't really give a rat's ass. Like.. trying to push a brick wall.. useless. It's a little unfair that I describe them like that.. but a lot of the times I really feel like no one is listening or doesn't care about what I have to say. Or like.. they'll do things that I say when it comes around, and if it never does... oh well. #2. Then funny monkey called me again to ask if I was doing my paper, and of course I wasn't.. and we talked about the pros and cons of doing two 5 page papers vs. doing one 10 page paper. And then that led to me being in a bad mood, my lack of faith in people, motivation, trust, friends, school, life, and of course.. boys. yikes... I know why she and I are such good friends. We also promised each other that we were going to keep each other in check... we weren't going to procrastinate, we were going to go to the library, read things and do our papers not at the last minute. And they were going to be kick ass research papers and a bag of chips! We needed some way to justify not half-assing it through yet another one of our papers. Anyways.. so that means I have 20 pages of writing to do in the next two weeks, all the research for it, plus all the readings and more papers for my other classes. YIKES.. I'm going to be a busy girl.. and not dilly dallying on non-important things.. so if I'm absent for awhile.. you'll know why. Unless I've killed myself from all the stress.. but we'll see. Anyways... after that, chit chatted some with Vivian and then some people online. Then got into other random discussions with many people about politics, integrity, friendship, my issues, my sensitivity, and the shittiness of certain situations. (And Ann reminded me again that Michelle Kwan didn't win... grrrr...) There's a lot of things that make me sad about how the world really is. And maybe sometimes my mom is right when she says that she protected me too much when I was little. I'm still really jaded in a lot of things and I still see so much good and get dissapointed when it's not really there. And what's even worse is that I still hope that deep down underneath, it's there, and set myself up for further dissapointment. Some people are really cynical about the way that things are, and I just haven't come to that point yet. I guess I can't really expect that things are going to work out for the best, and there will always be someone there to catch you when you fall. And I say this, but I wonder how people can really be like that. I don't know.. I have a million thoughts running through my head, plus class in six hours, a birthday dinner to go to, I'm probably going to go back to the radiothon, maybe winterfest to see fenixtx or go to Adam's show, and probably drive to LA. Then the DLSSP on Saturday, then possibly the CPP vs. UCSD bball game to see Novato and Cameron play, I'll see if anyone will come with. And then maybe driving back for Vivian's birthday party. But that will be a whole other drama in itself. But I think Kristen will really want me to be there for moral support, so I might just have to... we'll see how it all works out. I told Carrie that she needed to go, maybe I can still convince her. 21st birthdays are special... I don't care what any of y'all say. It's really not just another day... birthdays never are... they're a special day for you to celebrate you so indulge yourself. Heck.. god has the entire world celebrate his birthday. (no offense to anyone.. it was a joke). hehe.. you could be just like Taylor and turn 21 every year. Ü Heck I know when I turn 21 I want to do a big Vegas outing.. since I'll be the one of the last to be 21. And what's sadder is that Kristen and Amanda turn 21 right before I do, and I know that they're going to want to go out and party it up, and I'll be the only on who won't be able to celebrate Kristen's 21st... sadness. Anyways.. that's that. Sunday is the scrapbook making day at my house and then my DCM. mm which mean I'm also going to have to write a newseltter and put a lot of thought into what to talk about since it might be my last one. (*aww.. double sadness) hm.. we'll see how that goes and who shows up. I guess I don't know.. I just need to grow up. Or I don't know.. I don't know what the problem is, or how to fix it. Pete suggested therapy. Great.. that's just confirmation that I'm crazy. That I don't need.. it's like those things.. if I close my eyes and I can't see them, then they can't see me. If there's no doctor to tell me I'm wrong, then nothings wrong with me right? haha. I'm just giving you more reason to believe I'm delusional. But I should probably rest up.. it's gonna be a full couple of weeks. Wish me luck.

sweet.. i'm so excited that i got my counter to work the way that i wanted to.. and i didn't even need any help from a nerdy computer boys.. i did it all myself! whoo hoo! anyways.. i really shold be sleeping seeing as how I got one hour of sleep last night.. i have to wake up at 6 (in three hours) for the State Kiwanis takeover and I also have to write another 5 page paper (meaning.. no sleep Thursday night either. boo..) But yes.. procrastinating.. once again.

Hmm... On Tuesday I had lunch with my sissy poo at El Tarasco... mmm.... I love that place.. I love spanish rice.. it's soooo good. Anyways.. I'll stop drooling. I drove back to SD and hit a considerable amount of traffic.. but not too bad.. Went to the library and visited Jeff Dodge, chit chatted with him for a little bit. It's so weird to have him live there without Clint... granted that's his room and he should have lived there along all year long.. but it just seemed to make so much sense that Clint was there, and it's weird now that he's not.. but I bet Jeff enjoys the two beds to himself. I would. Anyways.. read in the commuter lounge for a bit and then went to Circle K. Worked out some kinks and convention registration stuff and then there was club officer election nominations... currently I'm slated to run against Michelle for president.. but I don't if it's going to stay that way.. but I'll just say that there's a plan of action that starting to turn the wheels of my head. Which.. necessarily isn't always the best thing because later that night as I was trying to read and study for my paper that was due the next day I had soooo many thoughts running through my head I couldn't concentrate. I felt like Buffy in that one episode where she could hear people's thoughts and it almost drove her crazy. The sad part is.. is that what makes me crazy are all my own thoughts. haha... Anyways.. so I ran off to CLICS to read and then kidnapped Vivian and we drove off to the 24 hour Krispy Kreme for doughnuts.. YUM and coffee to feed my non sleeping body. I fell asleep, and skipped class (even though I checked in.. shame on me) and finished my paper... registered for my classes ... (i didn't get into my pornography and the law class.. but i'm wait listed!) and then did the rest of my day. Nothing too eventful... well not for me anyways. But I did sit down.. when I was actually supposed to take a nap.. and started emailing and working on CKI stuff and did it for a solid 2 hours or so.. wow.. I didn't know I had it in me. I suppose I work the best under sleep deprivation. But yeah.. then I headed over to Stup's, Jill-A's and Crack-Whore's to watch Dawson's. Our quality girl time. :) I love my friends. And then I came back.. chilled for a bit, listened to other people's mass drama, and dilly dallied a bit with Kristen to compare which of us was more pathetic in our guy situations... hahah.. we're both such big nerds. And I was supposed to go to sleep early so I could be rested for the full day that I have tomorrow.. but ummm.. my blogger seduced me. shame on me.

mmm... I love DSL. it's sooo fast. heheh.. I came home to Torrance and I get to use my daddy's computer and his internet connection instead of my slow modem. ahh.. wonderfulness.

Anyways.. this week has seemed like it passed by so fast! Maybe it's because I was really only here for half of it.. but still. It was weird.. I was dropping Sakura off at the airport on Thursday, and we both realized that a week before that she had been dropping me off at the airport, but it totally didn't seem like a week had passed. Like you know on those sci-fi shows where people time-warp and then when they return back to their present time it's like no time has passed? I think that's kinda how I felt. Aside from missing the info from class, I felt like nothing had really changed or happened in the 6 days I was gone, and that no one really noticed that I wasn't there, (except for my dad who called 3 times on a rarity... the one weekend I'm not home he calls like a madman.. go figure.) It's quite strange... anyways.. for those of you who care (and for myself) here are my recounts of my awesome trip to Mardi Gras. :)

THURSDAY~ Sakura drives me to the airport at the buttcrack of dawn so that I can try and catch any flight I can out to Baton Rouge. Since I'm doing the whole buddy pass thing through Ann, it's way cheap.. but it's all on standby :(.. Anyways.. there's a super long line for the security check because.. I don't know what they're doing but the line was backed up forever and a day.. so I had to wait around an hour just to get through security. Needless to say I missed the 7am flight.. which was full anyways. Waited for the 9:30 flight... and read some, and slept in between... I did meet some guys who were going to Baton Rouge too for Mardi Gras, and were using the buddy pass thing.. so we chatted a bit. In Houston I got a seat of the flight easy.. and almost gave it up because the one of the guys I met got a ticket, but his friend didn't, so I was going to let them have mine so that they could stay together, especially because Nick wanted me to come in later anyways.. but since the tickets were given out by the list of priority I couldn't just automatically give his friend the ticket, so I left. I hope they made it! Anyways.. I made it to Baton Rouge and Mary came to pick me up... yay!! Although it was quite humorous. She parked and since you're not really allowed to leave your car she sort of looked for me, but didn't see me since I was down the street. And I saw her, but didn't want to look like an idiot and act like it was Mary if it wasn't and waited for her to come closer to me, which she couldn't. So we both stood around looking for each other, while another guy completely confused us both because he was looking for another person named Mary who he was supposed to be picking up. Finally we found each other.. I went to the LSU Circle K meeting complete with an ice cream social.. yay! And then chilled back at Ant's apartment later on. Ate chicken fingers from Canes... (sooo good), and then went with Nick and Mary to pick up Kathleen. Hung out a little more back at Ant's apartment and went back to Nick's.

FRIDAY~ We woke up late, and Nick came back from class and Kathleen and I went to lunch with Nick and Alanna. We watched them argue about lunch (which is almost as humorous as watching Ryan and Beth fight.. hahaha) and finally went to Hooters for lunch. I was kinda excited cuz I had never been there before and I had always heard about their buffalo wings. I finally got to try the infamous wings and they were sooooo good.. yum.. I definitely need to go back. Although the ambiance isn't really my scene.. it's okay. But it did help that I got to watch Pete Sampras play tennis on one of the TV's that was way exciting. We met up with Todd and rolled around town for a bit.. went back to Nick's and watched movies (yay The Cutting Edge!). Got ready for the party at Jason's house but ended up staying in really late because we got hooked on watching the Olympic Opening Ceremonies!! And the ironic part is that we stayed because we really wanted to see the lighting of the torch, but we left before that because it was dragging on too long and didn't even see it. What nerds we are. Anyways.. Alanna, Kathleen and I went to Jason's, ate some etoufee and rice and some pig and chit chatted here and there. I got to see Jason's gorgeous house and his "wing" of the house.. haha.. yeah.. serious. It was chill though, nothing too wild. Went back with Nick and Kathleen and we had a slumber party in his living room, complete with "girl talk." hehe

SATURDAY~ Ant and Cullen refused to let us waste our time in Louisiana and kidnapped us and Kathleen and I went with them and Todd down to New Orleans. We ate lunch at G's and met up with Ant's sister and her friend. We also met Ant's twin brother who works at G's.. haha.. they're so cool.. i love twins! Anyways.. went to the City, walked at the Riverwalk mall, watched the fudge making show, bought some stuff, played at the Sharper Image in the massage chairs (hehe) and then met up with Erin D and Ashley and some other people and went to the streets of New Orleans to watch my first Mardi Gras parade! Mary met up with us, and graciously provided us with drinks. The first parade was Endymion, and Jason Alexander was the Grand Marshall. It was pretty cool. It was funny though because the second big float that came around us made too wide of a turn and couldn't get all the way around because they would have knocked over a fire hydrant. (oops) haha.. so after we watched them try to fix the float for 30 minutes, they finally just re-routed the parade around us (sucks for us) and so everyone ran up to the float and asked for beads. Although the guys at the top level were throwing them down, the guys on the bottom level wanted something for their beads... i.e. nekkid boobies. And when girls were unsure of whether or not they wanted to do it, I heard one man say "come on... it's not like you're going to see me ever again." And so she pulled up her shirt and he took a picture (well, he and the 5 guys around him) and she got her beads. The scarier part is that all the people in the parades were wearing masks... so really you don't know who these men are, and what they look like. You could be in the supermarket and the man you flashed could walk by you and in his head could be like "I saw your boobies" and you would never know the difference.. ew. And plus there's pictures and video tape of you flashing people.. and who knows where they'll end up. hahah.. Anyways.. after that.. we all went down to Bourbon Street, where all of us held hands to not get lost in the crazy and wild crowd. Dodged past the bible-thumpers who held up signs of people burning in hell, and used their mega-phones to try and tell people not to indulge themselves in sin. I wonder if that actually made anyone change their mind. And that's what Mardi Gras is supposed to be about... indluging yourself and then repenting for your sins on Ash Wednesday... at least that's what my professor said. :) So it must be true right? But yeah.. the crowd on Bourbon was crazy as people said it would be.. we were all packed in like herding cows and girls in the balconies above us were flashing all parts of their bodies.. hehe.. it was kinda like TJ! But lo and behold, the crowd stops at the balcony that has the "Girls Gone Wild" banners hanging from it so that all the guys can pull out their cameras and video recorders again (joy). But I suppose the people in the back got upset that the crowd has stopped moving and started pushing forward.. the crowd started racing forward in every direction, and it was like a Running of the Bulls, my feet weren't even touching the ground and I was going forward. And I had to let go of Kathleen's hand, but I got pushed forward past them and grabbed on to Cullen's hand (who was in the front of the line) and still had Mary in my other hand and was being pushed while I was facing backwards. And between Mary and I was this huge black guy who's stomach was the length of my arm. We was propelling us forward as well and crushing my arm in the process. My poor arm still as bruises from his beads digging into my arm.. :(. Anyways.. we pulled off to aide street and had managed to lose 3 people so we sat around and waited for them to find us. Thank goodness for the cell phones. Even though it was madness I still think it was great. It wasn't nearly as bad as the Incubus or Sum41 concerts.. but I guess that's because there weren't people crowd surfing and kicking me in the head :P I wanted to go back on to Bourbon Street but almost everyone wanted to go home, and it put me in a sour mood enough to not want to stay anymore but Mary totally cheered me up and we sang Disney songs at the top of our lungs driving back to Ant's house in New Orleans.

SUNDAY~ The next morning was interesting.. haha. I woke up quite tired and had to take a shower... so I get in the shower, and I fell. :( There were none of those sticky things on the shower floor and as I turned to wet my hair, my feet lost their grip and I feel. I was really embarassed and of course I was the running joke of the day. Good thing I'm good at laughing at myself (I've had lots of practice). After I was done I came out and ate breakfast and Charles went to go shave and get ready. I asked him if he wanted to borrow my Raspberry shaving cream and you know what he said? He goes "sure.. maybe then I could get all lubed up and slip and fall like you" That was only joke #1.. but everyone was laughing and I was so shocked that someone had come up with something so witty that quickly. He's more sarcastic than Kimmy.. hehe.. it's great. Charles is the funniest guy ever and I just constanly laughed all that day. So that day Mary and Charles and I cruised around New Orleans. We went to see Thoth, which was a parade that this guy Matt, Jason and their DA Lenny Simmons (yes.. Richard Simmons brother Ü) were riding in. It was so cute though because Matt both this big huge teddy bear and was going to try and throw the bear to her.. awww. After that we went back to downtown, at the same place we were yesterday and got ready to watch Bacchus were Nicolas Cage was the Grand Marshall. But sitting around and waiting was not so much fun, so Mary and I shot the rest of the Taaka that we had, and went to go cruise on Bourbon St. while it was not so mad and so I could actually see it. We went to Pat O'Brien's and I got a Hurricane as I was advised to do and went back to the parade route. The Taaka and the Hurricane totally did me in and while I was walking back it hit me... so when I went to back to the parade spot, I wasn't necessarily surly, but I guess... just really happy. :) hehheeh.. We stood around, talked, waved and cheered at the float people to throw us beads, and chilled. It started to get really cold and really windy (which totally aggravated my contacts) and so Mary and I decided to go back to Baton Rouge.. (especially because Mary wanted to shower ... since she hadn't originally planned on spending the night in New Orleans.. hehe sounds like me at Go West!) We drove back ... and I spent the night at Mary's house.

MONDAY~ We met up with Nick and Alanna and ate at Mike Anderson's Seafood Restaurant, which was excellent, and I also got to meet Mary's sister Frannie who works there. Then went on a tour of the LSU campus, met Mike their live bengal tiger who lives on their campus and goes to all their basketball games and stuff. He was having a lazy afternoon napping in the sunlight. :) That night I had a couple of different options, I wanted to hang out with Jason.. that didn't happen. And then we were going to drive to Lafayette and see Charles, but he had to go out with his family. So then Nick, Alanna, Mary and I just went out by our happy-selves... but of course not before we went with Nick to go buy his proper equipment for his new cell phone that he had drooled all over all afternoon. I swear.. boys and their toys.. :P Anyways.. we ate dinner at the Chimes, including some drinks. :) Went to the Daiquiri Mart and got some of that, and then went back to Nick's. Where we watched the Olympics (the pairs figure skating.. yes yes.. we all know about that one), and then Bridget Jone's Diary, and the half of Clerks before we fell asleep.

TUESDAY~ The next day I toured Downtown Baton Rouge, saw all the historical stuff, and the state capital and the governor's mansion.. it's HUGE... dude.. I want to be governor ... or president.. hehe.. how fun would that be to live in the White House? Anyways.. had lunch at Semolina's.. a really good italian restaurant... cruised a little bit around town some more, went to the mall, and then Nick and Mary dropped me off at the airport. Sad.. my trip was over :( I easily got on my flights.. (thank goodness) and went back to San Diego. Where I gained two hours .. which was nice, and Derek and Tricia picked me up. Came home, tried to settle back into my room and slept for the next day.

The rest of the week was a little bit of a blur... pop quiz on Foucault on Wednesday morning in my Museums and Zoos class. Class class class, nothing too eventful. Thursday... Valentine's day.. I just kinda bummed around wrapped up cards and candies and wasted my whole day. oh well.. it was a good time. Friday.. class class class, Kiwanis Luncheon, work at the Basketball games. It was fun because it was Spirit Night.. although it was a really poor turnout.. less than 800 people showed up.. I guess because it was a three day weekend. But I did get to see Kristen dance in her sexy little costume at the dance team performance. It was great... I wish I could do stuff like that. Saw this guy almost win $20,000 in the halftime shootout because he made the half-court shot on the first try!! Amazing! He just didn't make the three-pointer.. sad. I really want to see someone win that before I graduate. Ken was probably having a heart attack when he made that first shot. haha.. Saturday I volunteered with Hailes for Circle K at Habitat Restore. The same people who do Habitat for Humanity, have like this wherehouse where they sell home stuff. It's kinda like a pic 'n' save version of Home Depot. But we got to measure the size of the doors and label them for the customers. It was fun, we got free pizza and this guy get coming by and asking us if we were done and if we could organize the carpet section. hahah.. yeah right.. he asked us while we had just measured like 15 doors and had two more aisles to go. And the people who were in the carpet section "working" were sitting around chillin' and talking. umm.. I don't think so. Anyways.. Hailes and I talked.. mostly about his rabid obsession for Dark Age of Camelot.. some computer game.. and how he just wanted to play all the time. He said he stocked up on food because he knew he wasn't going to leave the house and just play all weekend, and that he really needed to go grocery shopping because even his back-up supplies had been eaten. And that he wouldn't mind where he left as long as he had a food souce, a nice home and high speed internet so he could play his computer games. hahaha.. this boy is hilarious.. I was laughing so hard my stomach started to hurt. Finally we went home, I showered and then got dressed for work again.. another 4 hours of my life. We played CSLA.. (yeah.. where did the U go?) And afterwards drove back to Torrance to hang out with my daddy :).. although I was quite tired and around Long Beach started to get quite sleepy and wanted to fall asleep in my car. I would have called someone to keep me awake but I think I was too tired to even do that. But I got home safely :) Saturday my daddy and Eric and I went to the Sizzler.. yum, and then chilled at home.. it was a nice relaxing day. I love my daddy.. he's the only one who will put up with my constant fussing and entertain me and make me smile. And within reason... he treats me like a total princess. He let me choose where to go for lunch, bought me a new burner just because, fixed my computer up all nice, and cooked what I wanted for dinner. And right now he's out buying stuff to make me dumplings for lunch. Ü I don't think I'm spoiled in the sense that I have a lot of nice things, and I get my way all the time. For example.. he wouldn't let me drive to Nicole's house last night because it was too late and too far. But within reason I'm very well loved and my daddy likes to see me happy. He is also a very funny monkey and makes me laugh lots. He's the greatest.. and anyone who's met him will agree.. I'm such a daddy's girl :) Like he called me three times while I was in Lousiana, and when I finally called him back he was all like "where are you?" And I told him where I had went, he wasn't so much mad but more like that I should tell him where I'm going because he was concerned with my well-being.. how great is that? hehe.. He just is really thoughtful and cares a lot about me, and wants me to be happy. And I guess that's where I get a lot of my personality traits from. Because making other people happy makes me happy. :) Anyways.. enough gushing... Today and tomorrow I have to buckle down and be studious. I have a paper due on Wednesday and some other papers that I should probably start. Yikes.. but I do get to see my sister today.. and my mommy's coming home from Taiwan and we're just going to have a family pow-wow I suppose. :) But last night after finally debating on who was going to drive where... Beth came over, and Nicole went to bed, and we watched "Midnight Tease" hahahaha and then went to the Kettle .. where THEY DID NOT HAVE HONEY BRAN MUFFINS. I was quite upset because that's all that I really wanted. We gawked (or mostly I gawked) at the cute boys who came in .. cutie beach boys.. :) and then took a walk on the pier where Beth completely freaked me out with her scary stories.. I hate her. "what are you going to do... push me again?" Yikes.. not to mention the fact aht it was 3am and super dark and super scary.. ew.. I hate Beth. :P There was also some sort of trouble around my middle school and the park next to it because when we left there was a helicopter with a search light, and when we came back there were many many police cars blocking off the streets. We probably looked really suspicious driving around trying to figure out what was going on, or just like nuisances. hehe.. But it was a good time.. I really do wish that I lived a lot closer so that Beth and Nicole and I could go play all the time. hehe.. I just wish all of my friends lived all in the same complex and we could just chill everyday.. nevermind that they're spread out all over the country. :P But it's definitely been a good weekend, and tons of fun.. and now it's time for studying.. yuck.

Happy President's Day kids!

I just got the nicest letter in the mail from the two most AWESOME people in the WORLD. THANKS NICOLE AND BETH.. i love you guys!


also..
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR and HAPPY MARDI GRAS everyone!

Hello from Louisiana! Yes friends... I'm actually at Mardi Gras!! Whoo hoo! It's a fantabulous time and I've had an awesome time with my friends here and they're so great. I'm definitely glad that they're here to help me out to let me know how to do things around here. But yeah.. it's been a funfilled four days.. and it's almost kinda sad that I have to go home on Tuesday. I just wanted to say hello to myself quickly from Baton Rouge... and if I had enough energy I'd share all my stories... but those will just have to wait. I just wanted to let those of you who care that I'm safe, and alive and haven't done anything scandalous and that I love you all!

Wow.. it's February already. and do you realize that my term is almost over? Like in a little less than two months.. which may sound like a lot, but really isn't. It's like 5 weeks actually. Oh my.. Time passes so quickly.. and you never really think that some things will end, and then when the time comes, you wonder where it all went. Yikes. Anyways..

Nothing anything too exciting in my life really. On Friday I finished my paper for COHI 125, and thankfully didn't have my Museums and Zoos class. Went to the Kiwanis Luncheon where we did our takeover thing, and then rushed over to Kristen's to do some last minute cramming. Got to my Pop Culture class, and did my three essays. I don't know whether I did well or not, but it was okay.. not like that other pop quized that I failed. :P That night watched UCI beat our Men's Volleyball team :( with Kathryn and then went to the AE Pi party with Kristen and Vivian and Laura. We were there all about 20 minutes before the po-po came. But I got to see Dave. And then we went to this small house party, which I really only knew Jill and Jason.. but it was really cool because I never get to see Jason, so yet again.. another friend I got to see. Then Vivian, Laura and I went to go stop by the SMAC house, but not before dropping in on Krispy Kremes... which by the way has a 24 hour drive thru!! Uh oh....

Saturday, I went to work Swimming vs. USD.. we won, stopped by the baseball game, came home and did nothing, went to work again... Men's Volleyball vs. UCLA... and although we lost, they played really really well, and beat UCLA in the first game. They were awesome. Ted and I were commenting on how this was the wrong game to be working, and we wished we were in the crowds so that we could cheer. I was in the crowd for the UCI game which was quite uneventful...somehow I felt cheated. Anyways.. afterwards, went to Kristen, Becca and Jill's cocktail/wine and cheese party, which was mucho fun. I talked a lot with Trish who I haven't seen in a long long time. I miss hanging out with the girls.. it's sad that we all live so far apart now. Went over to Chris/Mikey/Albert/Nick's party which was a ton of fun as well. It was good to see a lot of people that I hadn't seen in awhile, or didn't really get to talk to anymore... because of again all of us living off campus. Eloquently described ... there was just the right amount of people and not too many randoms. :) Anyways.. came home.. slept.. and my daddy was supposed to come visit me.. but he couldn't because he was busy. Sad.. I got all bummed out because I was really looking forward to spending some quality time with my daddy. Anyways.. went to Sakura's house, watched Dawson's and Friends and then worked on the scrapbook. We're going to win.. I hope you know that Berkeley. :P And then came home, talked on the phone with Pete, and then Kristen and then online with Beth. All while I was trying to read for the pop quiz I thought we were going to have in COCU 175.. but didn't, but it's okay because I got one in COHI 125.. yay! Oh lordy.. I'm so glad that she let it be an open note/book test or it would have been ugly. Anyways.. got to hang out with Ryan a little and check out the grad school scene. It seems like so much fun, like freshman year all over again. I don't know.. maybe I just am really sociable... is that a bad thing? Circle K meeting...free dinner! Thanks Michelle, and then more hanging out with Ryan. We went to TGI Friday's and talked about a lot of different things. And now I'm home... and I'm thinking that I should probably go to sleep since I didn't get any last night. in 15 minutes I'll have been up for 36 hours... I really need to stop this. :P Love you.. night.

mmm.. nothing to exciting.. except that I'm a big fatty slacker. I hate school... it sucks. And really.. I don't know what I want to do with my future.. so school is really aimless for me right now... so that makes me all the more sad and pathetic. ew.. i hate school

Today I walked around the vendor fair, saw people I didn't like, sampled kettle corn, helped out at the CKI Korean BBQ sale. (Why am I helping to raise money for Sakura to pie me?... am I stupid?) classes all day, napped, worked at the PRINCETON volleyball game where I almost got hit multiple times. But sad.. it was Princeton.. and I wonder what I would be like if I had gotten to go there, or even... what kind of person would I have been if I had gotten in. But I really think I like that East Coast type of boy that we discussed in Anna William's class that splatter the pages of the Abercrombie catalogue. I don't know... it's not just looks, but I guess about security. Rhiannon and I were looking at the two different teams, and I was all ... our team looks so much younger that theirs.. and she agreed. They just look so much more.. I don't know.. manly? hahaha.. I'm stupid.. And I spent today thinking what a retard I was reading signs that I just made up in my head to further disillusion myself. did you know that Valentine's Day is in two weeks? I don't really care.. or do I? I guess it would be nice.. but I think we're just going to do another girl's night out. :) I'm game.. how about you?

Also.. I tried to find my cell phone for a good 20 minutes today.. and later I find out that I left it at Mike & Stan's house.. yet another reason of why I'm a retard. ahhh! why can't I have more discipline or something. Like.. actually get off my ass and get done the things I need to do instead of half-assing my way through everything. Or like spending more time on what's less important rather than actual things that matter. boo...

Where does all my time really go? I feel like I'm always doing some kind of work, but really I have nothing to show for it. I'm still always doing my homework at the last minute, but what do I spend the rest of my time doing? Sleeping? Eating? Talking to friends? Because I don't really do much of those other things constantly, just sporadically. hmm... But yes.. I have a 7 page take home midterm due tomorrow. And I've been sleeping all day because I feel so sickly and crappy. Ew... it is no fun being sick.

Hmm... so what have I been up to lately. Last week I was sleeping a lot so that I wouldn't get sick since both Diana and Michele were sick, and I thought I was in the clear, but alas Monday morning, it's overcome me. Anyways.. Friday I saw SUM 41 with Kimmy and Vivian. It was super fun, but we all came home bruised and battered. I was in the pit during gob and Unwritten Law and had to get out to take a breather because I was too busy fighting for my life to enjoy the music. But I went back in before SUM 41 and found Kimmy and Tommy. And Tommy was there to protect us (thanks!) and he was so great, and Kimmy and I really enjoyed it. Although, towards the end the millionth crowd surfer came by and landed on my and split my lip. That was no fun...but it's mostly healed now, so I'm okay. :)

Saturday I was at the Sports Arena getting *NSYNC tix with Ann and Long. We didn't get as good tickets as we hoped, but hopefully we'll get better ones later, and then worked at the swim meet with my assinine boss, and came home, slept, party hopped a little, but nothing too fun. I really should have just stayed at home. Although I did drop by Kari's 21st birthday party!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARI! For those of you who don't know, Kari is a super star water polo player. :) My mommy also left for Taiwan on Saturday... sad I didn't get to say goodbye to her because I called too late because I was at work. sucks.. but I'm sure I'll see her soon. She's going to be there for Chinese New Year, I bet that'll be fun. I also went to Best Buy and got the Mest and Hoobastank cd's... they're awesome.. you should go out and get them... right now... go!
Sunday I worked on my newsletter, did Costco with Sakura and did the DCM thing. It was pretty good, we made $55 for PTP with not so much effort, yay! Beth also came down and afterwards we chilled, she watched me clean, and we went to bed at 5am. (yikes) She also gave me a bunch of butt ugly pictures of me at random CKI events. haha.

Monday, I woke up quite sick, went to class, had lunch at Roberto's with Beth, more class and then napped before Circle K. Went to Ichiban's and Target with Vivian. I got *NSYNC Valentine's Day cards... sweet! They're so awesome, and I'm super excited... so I'm going to be on a card giving rampage. heheheheh.. yeeeeeesssss.. And then today I tried to do my midterm, which I easily should have done during the day... but didn't because I'm lame. I slept, which is great for me, but I'm sure wouldn't make a good excuse for my teachers. Then I went over to the SMAC house.. (haha) and watched Battlebots which is a pretty entertaining show. It's pretty cool though, the guys are being sponsored to build a battlebot and have been to the show and all that. It's pretty amazing what some of these people can do. Then we watched Mikey play Grand Theft Auto III which is hilarious. You run around, steal cars, avoid popo, try to get with hookers, and beat people up. There's more to it than that.. but it's a funny game. I really don't want to do my school work. I really wish sometimes you could just be sick and turn in assignments later without needing to be on a death bed.

Shit.. life can be pretty sucky sometimes. I guess I'm just a in a put down kind of mood because I feel so swamped. I don't know. Everyone seems to have all their shit together except for me. But I know in my head that that's not true, but I guess in my heart it's not the same. And all I can think about nowadays is how nice it would be to have a boyfriend. Although I swear that I had given up on guys and just wait around until the right one comes, like everyone says I should, but really... how long does someone have to wait. Honestly... I'm sick of waiting. So I guess this is why I've stopped being interested in the random everyday gossip of my friends and their current interests. People hook up with other people and complain that there's nothing more, and it makes me I dunno... sad, confused, angry.. I don't really know. Where at the same time that I want that too, I'm not really the "hook-up" kind of person. Like sometimes I feel like I should stop being so apprehensive, but also... I know I'm not that kind of girl, and I really don't want to be, but then what's the alternative. I sit around and whine, when I could go and find one, but really I'm not the go get 'em type. And then someone else said to me that maybe I should lower my standards... and is that what I want? Just to have some guy just to have a guy, but not really be happy. I don't know. Like I guess it's just because I'm lonely, and I feel like I really have no one. Like if I constantly had my friends around, it wouldn't be so bad. But everyone's busy, and has their own schedules, and they don't have time for me. Which I can't blame them, but I guess with a person who's obligated to have time for you, it's different. And sometimes kind of nice. *sigh.. why am I so lame... can someone answer me that? Awhile ago I told Kimmy that I just wanted to surround myself with people that make me implicitly happy, but I guess I really didn't stick to that because my loneliness got the best of me. So I guess my greatest fear really is being lonely. I guess I have to stop this mode of thinking that if someone doesn't like me it's them and not me, and it's their loss. Like Kristen says I have to love myself first and foremost. But I guess it's not always so easy. *boo.. I had being all philosophical. I need a blogger that talks back.

On a brighter note, my daddy might come visit me this weekend. I figured I'd invite him to come down since he was sort of alone in the house, although I'm sure he enjoys it. But Michele's mom is here and she was cooking for Michele and it made me miss my daddy... so maybe we'll get to do some quality bonding time.. hehe :)

I don't think I do well with people. Maybe I need to stop.

So it was inevitable that I blogged today... because I have a paper due today, and instead of using my fingers to type out my paper, I'd rather procrastinate some more and blog. :) Anyways.. my weekend is finally over. Sad. But it was a really good weekend. I found a new appreciation fr just being able to chill at home. On Saturday, trying to get out SD was such an ordeal. I went to be at 6am cuz I was cleaning my room (yes, it was that messy). I went and got some lunch, and while I was parking Sakura called me to ask me when the meeting time was on Sunday cuz Jimmy's car broke down. As I got out of the car I managed to grab everything except my keys. Sad. I called Triple A (after freaking out first of course) and then sat on the sidewalk, ate my lunch, talked to Kimmy and waited for the tow truck to come. The guy was really nice and I got my keys in no time, finished packing, picked up Lala, and was on my way to LA. Got to Torrance said Hi and Bye to my parents and my uncle, grabbed to go at Steve's (yum) and drove to lovely Woodland Hills. Pre-board meeting that night, Board meeting the next morning, and then TGI Friday's afterwards for lunch. Fun eh? All in all it was good to see some people again. I got to hang out with Nicole, Beth, Carrie, Manny and Armondo. It was fun. Word from the wise: don't share a bed with Chrissy! She's a blanket hog! as is Nicole from what Beth says. hahahahh... we said we're going to make them share a bed at convention and then watch them fight it out. hahahah.

Sunday I went home, slept, watched movies, slept, and attempted to read. My sister came home from Utah and the Sundance Film Festival. (I'll have to ask her if she saw Lance) and got to hear all her exciting stories about the movie biz. Plus! She bought me a souvenir, yay! She got me a Salt Lake 2002 (Olympics) snowglobe. It had the symbol, and then a background city scene. And then it's got all this snow and glitter. It's so pretty... I love my little snowglobe. Thanks Joan! Ü Monday was the same thing, and Tuesday.. same thing except I went to the ElCo CKI meeting and dragged Eric and Kyle with. hahahah.. they probably wanted to hurt me.. but hopefully they'll join and we'll hit that 1000 right? :) It'd be super fun if I got to hang out with Kyle more, he's so amusing. Mondo, Kyle and I went to the Loft afterwards and talked about love lives.. or in my case, the non-existance of one, and rejection. hahah.. It was great, read some more, slept some more, and then got to take care of my sister and drove back to SD... where I've been sitting on my ass for 2 hours not really writing my paper. aiya.

ps. I saw the *NSYNC Chili's commercial. And while I love my boys, I'm so embarassed that they did that commercial. It's so cheesy and I dunno.. just wrong! The Budweiser commercial was kinda cute even if it was kinda contradictory, but this commercial is just really.. I dunno.. interesting I guess. The whole motiff kinda reminds of their "For the Girl Who Has Everything" Video. mm.. I dunno.. it's a good way to display their talents and what not, but I dunno.. something about that commercial doesn't sit well with me. *sigh... maybe they really really really do love the baby back ribs. You know what would have been better? Like if they were sitting in the restaurant and then started singing it, like that's how they were going to order them. I'm not so keen of the whole trying to make it a love story thing. Yeah.. I should be making their commercials... boys: call me Ü

And another thing. I guess I found out that I wasn't cast in the New Play Project Cabarets. Which is kinda sad because Dave told me to audition for his play, and I'm kinda sad that I didn't even get to try. On the inside scoop I hear the director thought my audition was really good, but just couldn't find a spot for me, because he didn't think that I fit anything. How is that not a contradiction? Isn't that the point of acting? Like to be able to fit parts and what not, and if he didn't have a part that would fit me, then I must not be very good. But yet he says it was real good. *sigh.. I don't know.. I'm not mad.. but I guess rather.. dissapointed. Woe is me.

You know Maureen from Centerstage? How she said that honesty was the best policy when it came to your friends? And then Eva said that explains why you have so many... I really think that's true. You piss off a lot of people when you don't appease them, or you tell them what you really think. And granted, I like my friends to tell me that I'm right, or to agree with me or support me. But sometimes it's also good to tell them what you think. So, really, it's another one of those lose/lose situations, because sometimes one's not necessarily better than the other. But I guess it also depends on what the issue at hand is. Like Anna Williams has said.. that people only find truth in what they believe. But really, when you're brutally honest, does telling the truth outweigh the consequences?

I guess I'm getting all philosophical (in my own way) because I've had a lot of time to think about things. I'm not very good with dealing with difficult situations, and I guess I tend to do it in a more so of childish way of just ignoring it. But then, it gets bigger and just eats away at you (or me in this case) so then what do you do? I really want to make myself happy, and put me first, but when that comes at the expense of other's happiness, is it okay to do that?

One last thing. Being drunk isn't an excuse for anything. And I've heard that excuse being way too conviniently lately. Maybe you shouldn't drink if you can't handle the consequences, or the reactions from others. Or maybe you should learn to control yourself while under the influence. I'm not saying like being prim and proper while imbibing alcoholic beverages, but there are certain lines that people shouldn't cross, and then say, well it was because I was drunk. I'm really not someone who can be going around telling others what they should do, because it's not like I'm perfect or anything. But I guess I've just heard it enough in the past week to be annoyed by it to blog about it.

Today I had class (which I was actually on time for.. good job me), went to the Kiwanis Luncheon, more class, a nap, an audition, and then work. The men's volleyball team lost to USC (sucky) and I almost got hit with flying volleyballs or players diving after them multiple times, but still I love my job. It was good time, I can't wait to go to a game that I'm not working so I can cheer. Too bad I have to miss the Pepperdine game. Something funny though is that the player that I thought was super-hot and was all excited because he went to a high school near me is actually one of Kimmy's high school friend's boyfriend. (did you get all that) It was amusing when Kimmy told me about her friend... sad, but funny... this guy was super hot... *sigh.. I'm so pathetic. Tomorrow I'm driving home with Lala, so I must commence with the packing and cleaning and laundry that I've put off since I've gotten back. Heck maybe I can even get some reading or papers done. Boo. I have my board pre-meeting tomorrow night, meeting Sunday morning, and then family and friends in Torrance until Tuesday. I hope I have a good time.

I really need to start being more productive on those days that I don't go to school. eh.

Anyways.. Wednesday.. it was school, school and more school. Although.. it was nice to see and talk to a lot of people that I hadn't seen in awhile on Wednesday, like Masaki, John Bologna.. (hahahah), Mike, Chris, etc. etc. Anyways... I went out to Chili's with Vivian and Kathryn. It was good, but I ate waaay too much. That night Kristen came over and we ate and watched Dawson's. It was so good, Charlie is so... hot. Then... (drumroll) Kristen, Vivian and I went to a bar with these guys from Vivian's work. It was pretty fun. I was DD so there weren't too many mishaps or anything. It was a small little place, so it wasn't too bad. Mostly I just played pool and watched TV. Kristen played darts and "chatted" with a 37 year old married man (hah), and Vivian continued to hit on the guys that she thinks are cute. I did find out the dangers of drunkiness and what it can lead to (in the social context). *sigh.

With all of that said I just sat around most of today, thought a lot about stuff, talked a lot on the phone. I did get out of the house to go to an audition though. It was for the New Play Festival Cabaret. I was kinda excited because my friend Dave wrote one of the plays, but they didn't have me read for one of his parts. Sad... but I do hope I get to be in something. That would be fun, and I hope I have the time. Yuck... I'm busy, but I'm not since I waste most of my time being lazy. I need to stop that. Also, I think I need some more "me" time, or at least train my head to be in that "me" mode of thinking. I don't know... this is what happens when you sit around all day and think about things. We'll see how it goes.

it's 2:30am and I have a million pages to read, but since I've spent all day procrastinating, what's a few more hours?

It was an interesting weekend to say the least, but I guess it was fun. Although, I do feel like a fatty slacker for being so unproductive. (You think I'd be used to it by now eh?) Anyways.. Saturday, did Julian's Anchorage, and then napped before I struggled to get out of bed for work. Watched a super exciting game of women's ball against Cal State San Bernadino, and then an exciting half of the men's game, while the second half was not so fun. I got to sit next to Vince and hear all his comments which kept me amused. But the CSUSB fans weren't so great. Somehow we always get the really annoying fans in our crowds, but I guess if you drive all the way to SD for a game, you must be hardcore. Anyways.. this lady kep yelling about Cameron and his headband, "take off the headband!" and I seriously wanted to go over to her and knock her in the head. Anyways...afterwards, Caroline and I drove around for a bit, and I ended up at Taylor's party. His parties are always fun and I got to chill with Ashley and Lauren, meet Taylor's brother, and meet all the other USD and other random people. It was definitely a better trade off than going to the probably way too crowded Sigma Chi party that got broken up by mass amounts of po-po and helicopters! Spent the night there, and Ashley drove me home in the morning. Went to Kono's with Vivian and her all her Saturday night party stories which were far more exciting and scandalous than mine, and then cruised to Mission Beach. After 10 minutes of laying out, we both decided it was too cold and went back home. :) I slept, went over to Vivian's and hung out with her for a bit and came back and slept some more.

Monday, class, Circle K, and then.. yay! Jennie, Francis, Karen, Vivian Tricia, Kimmy and I met up at CPK for Kimmy's 21st Birthday!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIBBLER! It was tons of fun, I love going out with girlfriends, that's the best. We tried to get Kimmy drunk, but it really wasn't going to happen. I gave Kimmy flowers and the birthday present that I made, which she loved of course. We ate good food, talked a lot, made fun of Kimmy, chit-chatted with the waiters, and took lots of pictures (of course). Afterwards I gave one of the waiters Vivian's number while the entire kitchen staff hooted and made comments in spanish (which I totally understood... thanks). I was slightly embarassed, but it's okay because it wasn't about me. The guy was really nice about it... we'll see if he calls. Vivian and I hung out some, and then went on a walk with her. I was so tired though, I wanted to fall asleep on the sidewalk in front of Vons. Came home, slept until 4 this afternooon. Went to school, ate, and while I was supposed to be reading, watched the Simpsons. haha.. I got to see josh though, and talked to him for a bit. He was on Elimidate!! I think that's great. He's totally doing the acting thing and has an agent and everything. He just might be famous one day. Shoot, I wanna do that. Anyways, hung out with Julie and Vivian more, watched mass amounts of TV- Sex in the City, the Wedding Planner, Real World. And then... hehehe.. we drove to Taco Bell in PB where I dared Vivian to go talk to the guy in the car in front of us in the drive thru line. And she did! haha.. Vivian told him that I wanted to know if he was single, and he said yes.. oh dear lord. He started waving at me and Julie and was motioning that he was a UCSD student (he flashed us his parking pass) and waved as he drove off. I was so busy dying from laughter that I really couldn't do anything about it. Julie was all "I bet you his ego is so big right now." Vivian said that it already was, but that he was really cute, and he was in Sigma Chi and that he was the boy that she hit on at Jeff Dodge and Clint's birthday party and she sees him like everyday. heh.. tomorrow's going to be interesting.

So it's Friday night/Saturday morning.. and it's been an interesting couple of days. I'm still kinda in a funk, but it's getting progressively better. I guess like Professor Mukerji says, life has its cycles, it's ups and downs. (oh my gosh, I can't believe I just used something from class). Anyways... so yeah.. it's been up and down... and I've found that I have a really low patience tolerance when it comes to morons. When there are things that really really annoy me, I have no patience for it whatsoever. Like and it's not like I have no patience period, because I can sit with kids and try and teach them, and listen to people talk and try and help them out, and take care of people... But when people are just being plain stupid... I just tend to ignore them.. and I guess it just puts me in a sour mood. But anyways.. Thursday.. I woke up at 12pm when Kimmy called ... but it's okay because I went back to sleep until 4pm :) where I proceeded to watch Legally Blonde (to avoid doing anything productive... and finally got off my ass and did some Circle K work. Watched Friends (so cute) and then went to go work out with Vivian. I did the wimpiest work out ever... I stopped running after like 5 minutes and couldn't do too many weights because I was still sore from Tuesday. (weak). Anyways.. I also got to chill a bit with Jeff Nagle.. which was cool. He's an interesting character to say the least.

Today.. I had classes, chilled a little bit in between. Afterwards, I talked to Nick.. who is great by the way.. and got all excited because Michele let me borrow her Sims and Hot Date expansion pack. I'm sooo excited. If I can't get play in real life.. at least I can pretend eh (eww.. I sound like such a nerd). Anyways.. I went to work.. where we played Cal Po Po in bball. Our women's team lost but our Men's Team WON! Yay! Mike and Cameron were so awesome... they're superstars! hehe.. I think it's the intimidation factor. Mike with his face mask and Cameron with his mouth guard.. they're pretty scary lookin'. Anywhoo they won and I was super excited... it was great. Then Vivian and I were supposed to meet Kristen at the Pike party... but by the time we got there the po-po were there and we couldn't get in. Sucks.. there were sooo many people there. But these two people asked us for a ride home, so we gave them one (after driving around for quite a bit). I shared my psycho-roommate stories, and we talked about common people we knew. But I think I scared them because I talked too much... oops.. sorry! Then Vivian and I went to Denny's in PB because she had a craving for ice cream. We amused ourselves by watching drunk people and commenting on cute boys. And then drove back. We saw a really bad car accident on the way back... People... be careful out there when you're driving.. don't run lights, speed or drive under influence or what not. It's really scary guys... and it could happen to anyone... even you. So.. with that.. Vivian and I were driving home and decided to take Mt. Soledad road home (the scenic route) got a little lost, and saw some guy walking around with his truck with the hazard lights on. Vivian asked me if she thought we should ask him if he wanted a ride or a phone... and thinking of Pete's example where he had no gas, I decided to be nice and offer him a phone (Vivian's phone at least.. hahha) btw.. Vivian says "thanks Pete" haha. Anyways.. this guy used Vivian's phone and then said "don't think I'm trying to runaway with your phone, but I have to go find this girl who just ran away from me." HAH. Me thinking he was trying to attack some poor girl (because he ran up the freeway on ramp to go find her... and unless I was trying to escape the freeway on-ramp would not be my first choice.) But Vivian thought that they just had a fight... turns out she was right. So the guy's car was out of gas, and we're going to take them to get gas... but she stays in his car. Vivian refuses to leave this girl by herself so I go get her, and she comes and the guy stays.. because he can't roll up his windows because he can't find his keys.. (which his girlfriend has.. haha.. she was SO pissed at him) ... And this is why.. driving to downtown SD for their first time, he jokes around about the amount of gas in his car.. which is all fun and games.. until their car actually dies. And as if this weren't bad enough.. she says that instead of getting out of this situation asap, he does a line of coke. Yes... boys are morons. So we get them some gas, and drop her back off where we hope that they get out of that situation okay. (We would have stayed longer but Vivian really had to use the potty.) I'm dropped off, say hello to my neighbors who are going somewhere at 3am (i dunno.) And I have to wake up in 4.5 hours to go to a service project. Life is grand.... but I did have an interesting night.

Anyways... I'm in an all around bad/depressing mood kind of funk. These last two weeks have been interesting ones. mm.. let's sum it up before I start to complain, at least then this blog won't be all bad. This was the latter end of my winter break:

DECEMBER 24 & 25
Christmas Eve I spent working... it wasn't too bad, and we got out of there pretty quickly. I love being a cashier for the most part, and it's great, so I don't really hate it too much. My daddy picked me up, and then we went to Ralphs to buy a few things. There was an amazing amount of people there (buying last minute Christmas dinner things I suppose). Came home to my mom cooking up a storm, and my sister and Jeff-Gu chillin. My family isn't really too big on traditions on Christmas, and really haven't been for a while. It's actually pretty sad. This is the third year we haven't put up our tree (it's fake, the same one since I can remember) and not really too big on exchanging presents just because. Like, my parents would buy me things I needed and give them to me as gifts, and usually just like one thing, two if I was lucky... so I'm kinda used to not getting presents. And I didn't really get my parents gifts because a) I don't really know what they want b) and I don't have the money to buy things that they would like. I guess it probably goes back to when I was little when I'd use their money to buy them gifts from the Hello Kitty store. But I gave my sister the Banana jacket that I bought (that she wanted.. haha.. I cheated) and she gave me a KATE SPADE PURSE. Now that my sister has a job she gets me the most awesome gifts.. hehe.. THANKS JOAN! It's definitely cute, and I'm going to have to find a special time to get all cute and dressed up and use it.. (hmm.. I think I'll "debut" it at Kimmy's bday next monday) anyways... We ate hot pot/bbq for dinner, and I was going to chill with Joan, but we lagged for a bit, and then it kinda became too late. So I went with Manny and Armando to go see A Beautiful Mind. It was really good. It made me a little sad since it was about John Nash from Princeton, and it reminded me of my tragic woe that I'm not there.. boo. Anyways...

DECEMBER 26 & 27
I worked... tons of returns.. it was great.

DECEMBER 28 & 29
I drove back to SD to work at the basketball games. It was fun, but I didn't get to do book, and I didn't get to since next to Vince either. sad.. I did the stat board, and I had to sit all by myself away from everyone else in my own little corner, what a loser :P Anyways.. later that night I called Kimmy and she came over and we hung out and chilled. It was great, we watched trashy dating shows (Kimmy's favorite) and sat around and talked and I wrapped presents. I love Kimmy so much, she's such a great girl. She spent the night, and the next day I was supposed to go with Vivian to Sea World.. hah.. and we finally actually got off our asses and drove down there, AND WE COULDN'T USE MY PASSES! suck ass. Anyways.. we chilled in PB for a bit, and then I went to work, and Vivian brought me dinner.. (thanks) and gave me my Christmas gift (thanks #2). And then I drove back to LA to avoid the daytime traffic.

DECEMBER 30 - JANUARY 1, 2002!!
work at the GAP... :) And then when I got home I drove down to Pasadena for GO WEST! They were already all done with the rose float part, and broomballing. At first I didn't really want to play, so I chilled with Kathleen and chit chatted with her. I played for like the last ten minutes and got body checked in the first minute I was out on the ice.. it was fantastic. :P Brian Knowles (another Circle K geek) wowed me with his mad broomball skills, better than Taylor, but I guess that's because he plays hockey... so whatever. I'm just amazed that some people are so hardcore at broomball, people... it's just a game.. no need to get all hostile and knock people over or hit them with sticks without apologizing, gosh. And later on I heard that someone was talking smack about me and ask why I only came for the social part of Go West.. true.. I wasn't there for the service part, but really I had reasons. If you don't know what you're talking about then shut that hole in your mouth, thanks Anyways.. spent the night at the Y (even though I wasn't really planning on it) (after extensive depressing conversations with my mother, and Vivian about her shenanigans) although really, I just spent the entire night talking to Kathleen. The next day went to Ruby's for breakfast and then chilled out on the streets of Pasadena. This including me driving the wrong way down a one way street, seeing Regis Philbin - twice!, having my horrible sleeping (probably drooling) self photographed for a Pasadena newspaper, hiking up heinous steep hills from where we parked our cars, competing with christian kids with "honk twice for jesus" signs, marshmallow fights, and just general non-sensical youth deliquence. We all counted down the new year, and then attempted to get some sleep. Me, despite not planning to spend the night but staying anyways, was unprepared once again, and froze my butt off. I think the funniest part of that night was when the guy setting up the spot lights told me and Kathleen that he'd show us how to set up stuff and let us help, and we jumped up and ran over to him. Then he looked at up like we were crazy and said he was just kidding. oops on us. Anyways, woke up at 5am, took Pic to the church so he could ride on the float, and then drove home. Slept for three hours, woke up 20 minutes before I had to work with a horrendous headache, showered and worked for the next 6 hours. Hey... at least I got time and a half right? It was okay really though. Went home and just chillaxed. Sad though, that was my last day. Working at that specific GAP makes me happy, but really I think it's because of the people. They're really great and they make me laugh all the time. Especially Marshay and Fabrecio who give me grief any chance they get, and Kyle and Daymien who are great guys, and Tracy who's so cute, and Carlos who I argue with about basketball teams.. hehe. I dunno.. I really feel comfortable there I suppose. It's great.

Anyways... JANUARY 2
After mad packing, I got a call from Ernesto who said that he was going to give me cash for my last week of work, so I stayed around for that, brought my sister El Tarasco (yum) and which made me a little later than I wanted. But I packed up my car and drove down to SD. Despite the traffic I got back in pretty decent time. I was supposed to meet up wtih Pic and Brian, but got stood up. ouch... (yet another reason why boys suck) But good thing I had Vivian to keep me company so we chilled, made Mudslide-shakes (yay) and watched TV. She left, and then Kimmy came over to play, and the trashy tv dating shows commenced, along with Sum41 who we're going to see in January (whoo hoo!) and then she left to go home and I watched 2 more hours of DisMissed (that is my new favorite show.) Ü If only that could be me.

JANUARY 3
froze myself in the process of working at the swim meet.

JANUARY 4 & 5 & 6
Drove home back to LA. Just kinda chilled, talked on the phone, watched tv, played on the computer. Kathy and Nicole wanted to meet up in Downtown Disney, but really I was way too tired to drive out there. sorry guys. Saturday I slept in. I cut my hair. I CHOPPED IT OFF! Well 5 inches anyways.. but it's way cute. I think I just got too sick of the long lifeless hair. Later on I went to Michaels, and the mall and then gave my sister clothes she needed to brave the cold of Utah. (the reason I came back to LA) then chilled with Carrie and Angelee. We went to Islands and saw Kate & Leopold. I got to use my ID for the first time, I was pretty excited. :) Although my tolerance really is not what it used to be freshman year. Sunday, ran some more errands, met with Nicole and Kathy to have lunch, and pick up Kathy to take her back to SD. Ran a little more errands, and then off back to SD. Dropped Kathy off, and then came home to an empty house. I just unpacked my car and really didn't feel like cleaning, so I vegged, watched Legally Blonde and worked on Kimmy's present.

Monday .. first day of school. Got used to my schedule and classes. Saw a bunch of people that I hadn't seen in awhile. Especially since I was hanging around campus more... I saw tons of people. Went to Kimmy's house for a lunch break and watched Grease 2.. hahaha. Went to a Circle K meeting and got a big gay unjustified parking ticket. which I appealed.. and then met up with some of the girls for Ichiban's. Yum. Tooled around PB once again, and went to Nick and Neil's house. Chatted a bit with Nick and Chris and then with Neil and his roomie Justin, who recognized me from a party at the beginning of the year hahahha.. funny. Talked to Kathleen and Pete a little bit who really, I love dearly. They make me really happy when I talk to them. I just wish that they lived next door so we could play all the time. Pete also wrote really nice things about me in his journal.. and Nicole said good night to me. I guess it's just those little things that make me happy, that make me feel loved.

Tuesday, chilled... no classes.. got woken up by numerous phone calls, Vivian came over, we chilled, watched movies, and I proceeded to actually clean my room. We chilled some more.

So really... I only use this thing to complain and gripe. I guess.. I just don't want to harang people into listening to me whine like a little girl, so I just kinda blog it out. So I'm warning you know, read this with discretion... if you don't want to hear it, don't read it. Really.. you should stop reading now.

Okay.. now back to real time. It's been the first week of school.. and I'd hate to admit it, but really I can't stand it already. yuck. I think the problem is that I stacked my classes on MWF, and I have to be at school all day on those days, which sucks butt. Especially since I don't think live on campus anymore. My classes are alright, but just the in between time, and the amount of reading that's being assigned already. yikes. Anyways.. I discovered something about myself.. that really I'm such a bitch. Especially when I want to be. I can be quite the biggest snot in the world, but I guess everyone already knew that ... :P It's one of those self-epiphany things. I guess I can either be really sweet or really mean.. aiya. Anyways. today was a pretty crappy day, which is probably why I'm in an awful mood. I woke up really late, and probably would have slept all day if it wasn't for Vivian calling me (thank you). Went to class, and then sat around for a long while feeling like a big loser. Price Center was busy, but I really had nothing to do, I felt so blah like I really wanted to either shoot myself, or go home and sit on my ass and do nothing. Went to my 2:30 class, and then tried to get into another class after that. I didn't get in, but it's okay because I realized I didn't really want to be in that class after sitting in it for 10 minutes. It was really slow and boring... not so much the class.. but umm. the teacher. And there was people in that class that I would have rather avoided... so I have 4 more quarters.. no hurry. But it was good that I went because I talked a little to Katie (hopefully I didn't catch her strep throat) and I got to see Rod who I haven't seen in forever since he's been in DC. But he's such a great guy... I definitely need to chill with him more. Made a run to costco, and then back to Vivian's after not deciding to add another class. Did some stalking (I'm so lame and pathetic) and watched Sex in the City again (yet another pathetic loserish act). Went to the Triton Jam, saw some more people, and then came home. Over all, it doesn't really sound like a bad day, but I guess it was just draining. And today I seemed to have such a short patience level. I got annoyed quite easily today with multiple things and multiple people. I realized that I don't have any money, and I don't think that those GAP people are going to call me back. I hate the UTC gap.. boo on them. In the other end of work that put me in a bad mood, I find out that I'm working at the doubleheaders this weekend, but I don't get to do book. I have to do spotting and stat board. Which aren't difficult, but my favorite thing is to do book. And I was so excited when Rhiannon told me that she wasn't going to work this weekend, and I would get to do it, but YET... I STILL don't get to do it. Isn't that what I gave up my christmas break to drive back and forth for... to get these perks. Because really I've been waiting for three years for Rhiannon to not be available, and when she's not, I still don't get it? I think that's jacked. Another thing...although people think I have a lot of friends... really people need to realize that I know a lot of people, but I don't have a lot of real close friends. And it's all very sporadic, and I'm not really part of anything. I don't really feel like I really belong anywhere, or with anyone. Like people have their groups of friends, and people that they call up when they're going out, and I really don't have that.. at all. Not to belittle the friends I have now, because I love them dearly, but sometimes I wish it were like freshman year again when it was just all a big party and we all just lived next to each other. I guess I'm feeling the angst of living off campus in my not-so-friendly townhouse. And then there are those friends, who say your good friends, but when it comes down to it, and those little things, you might be one of their friends, but are they one of your friends? Or just your friend when it's convinient, or they feel like it? This ambivalence doesn't really sit with me well. I can't really understand it, I guess it's too complicated for me, or I'm just too needy, or simple. And everyday I'm one step closer to realizing that I'm going to be a spinster and die an old woman with cats. Really.. people are all like "no... that's not true" but I don't see anything that gives me hope. The only guy that has said I was cute is gay.. that really doesn't do me so much good. Vivian thinks it's because I scare away boys because I'm scared of them, but it's all an internal thing. And maybe I'm not whorish enough.. but really do I want to be like that? So really.. what am I supposed to do? What can I do.. nothing.. which is exactly my problem.. I have to sit and wait around while this whole thing swirls around me in circles and really doesn't go anywhere. It doesn't seem like guys think anything of me, and really I don't think they ever will. I'm like everyone's buddy... which is not bad, but it's not so handy in my current situation. And plus.. people have been like "wow Jean.. you lost a lot of weight huh?" when really I don't know if I have, but I do know that I'm still fat, so really how fat was I to begin with? Not that I don't appreciate the compliments, because if I look better, then that's great, but I just worry about the delusional light that I see myself in. And speaking of delusions, I realized that's why my friends are great for. Your friends are there to reassure you and give you moral boosters "you're ten times cuter than her," "oh he definitely likes you," "he didn't want you to leave," "why wouldn't he like you, you made him laugh the whole time," but I guess in the end it just lets me fall from a greater height. Or wonder why the things that they say aren't coming true? But then I would be mad at my friends if they didn't say those things, because in my own little world, I think they're true... so really.. I'm just a really confused and complicated girl. ish. I guess I'm just tired... tired of my stasis in life right now. Tired of trying so hard with no result, tired of not being invited to things, tired of wondering what's going on, tired of school, tired of not feeling like one of the "cool" kids, tired of not being "pretty" enough, tired of trying to please everyone, tired of having to put up with people and their idiotic notions, tired of trying to figure people out, tired of wanting to be liked, tired of feeling lonely and unloved, tired of being boyless, tired of worrying so much, I'm tired and I don't want to have to deal with anything anymore.

ew.. I hate rude customers. They suck a lot of butt. Aside from the normal... yesterday was rude customer day at the GAP. It was horrible. One after another all four of us at one time or another got harassed by idiotic people. This lady yelled at Tracy for not giving her back a shirt that was in her bag the entire time, this lady took a bag when Derek said he couldn't give it to her and said "if he wanted it back she'd give it right back" because she needed to spit in it. Sick.. there was a trash can right outside lady. Not that it's really not something I shouldn't be used to already, I've had multiple people yell at me and give me dirty looks and what not, but I guess it just happened in awhile. So anyways.. I was helping this lady, and I was being really nice, asking her if she wanted gift receipts, and boxes, and she pretty much was rude and ignored me but I was nice and gave it to her anyways. And then I helped her friend, and her friend said she wanted a large paper bag. Since she bought a large sweater I gave her one because I just really didn't feel like dealing with it. Then, this lady, who bought like two tiny shirts wanted a large paper bag. And since a) it was ridiculous to give her a large paper bag for her tiny little purchase, and b) we really didn't have that many bags anyways. I told her we were running low, and I couldn't really give her one. (I said it nicer than that though.) But anyways.. any normal person would have been like okay, and walked away.. maybe a little annoyed, but they would have understood and gotten over it.. because it's that time of the season. You can't expect stores to have all the gift boxes and paper bags you want because everyone and thier mother (literally) is asking for them. Anyways.. so she threw this big hissy fit, and tossed her bag on the counter and said "give me a paper bag or return my stuff." So I paused for two seconds, and started to return her clothes. She gave me the option right? And I really wasn't about to give her a bag. So she threw another hissy fit because I was returning her stuff and wanted to speak to my manager. Threw an attitude at my manager and when he gave her a bag she said "that's right... you need to re-train her" It was just dumb because I know how to do my job, and I do it well.. dammit. I was talking to my best friend, Angelee, who is like princess of shopping (her mom's the queen) and she feels as if I should have complied with these customers, because it's my job, and not my place to pull principle and what not. Like.. I should stick to that rule of the "customer is always right" which really.. I hate that saying.. because.. really.. as I've said before... I hate rude customers. And after thinking about it.. I don't want to sound like I'm whining and complaining, because really.. my job is customer service.. but it's those extreme customers that I dislike.. *sigh.. I don't know.. it's really hard to explain if you don't go through it. And not like customer service in general.. but at this specific store. Like.. I never had any problems like this in San Diego.. but I don't know.. it's hard to explain.. but that was my gripe. I just really dislike when people expect the world when really, they don't deserve it. And this is in all walks of life, not just retail. People complain all day long about things they themselves do, and it's just bothersome.. but I'm sure I do it too.. Everyone does.. it's part of being human I guess. And really.. too complicated to blog about... but something that's been bugging me lately.

Which really.. I've decided that that's what I really use my blogger for. To talk when no one else will listen. what a sad and pathetic life I lead. blah. oh well. I have to be at work in 8 hours. yes.. I've spent 9 hours at the mall for the past four days in a row. It's wonderful.. the mall during christmastime is a craze.. but it's kind of comforting... like method in madness. It's nice to be busy.. stress, but still really at least it gives you something do you ya know? Am I making any sense at all?

I AM SUCH A BAND GEEK!

Okay.. so aside from spending close to 6 years of my life in band, and then trying to attempt to re-join other sorts of bands for 1 or 2 more years, there is always a part of me that will always love band. So here's my story. It's my second day back at work at the mall (go GAP) haha... and I was on my lunch break. I was way tired, but not as tired as the day before, because I had wisely chosen to wear jeans and my adidas instead of a skirt and mary jane platforms. Anyways.. so I'm chillaxin' and eatin, and on the stage, there's an elementary school band tuning up! And they're getting ready to play some Christmas songs. It was sooooo cute. And there were all these parents sitting around, and watching, and video taping (on a Monday afternoon nonetheless).. how sweet. So once I finished my food I walked over to go to Kaybee Toys (to look for a replacement for my sad broken Nsync watch) and before I went in... I HAD to stop and listen because a) they were SOOOO cute and b) it was nostalgia and c) because they were playing christmas songs. But it was soooo cute. And I got that tingly feeling when these two flutists did a Deck the Halls duet. It was so cute. I totally miss being in band. And like it was fun trying to be in the North High band, but really not the same because I didn't really go there. And 'dorkestra' wasn't any better, (although it did help to have cute violinists.. hehehe) and now wind ensemble.. although fun as it may be... I have lost a lot of my skill in fluting, and it's not so fun, when you're not really playing the music. And I dunno.. these concerts, where no one you know really even comes to them, at least no one you I know.. but there's just that *spark missing I suppose. But probably mostly because who knows how well I could play if I had stuck to it.. but I dunno.. maybe someday I will pick it up again, and practice, and be good again. It can be another of those lifetime goals. :)

Anyways.. work has been alright, except my FEET HURT SOOOO MUCH everyday. yikes.. I'm so not used to standing for 8 hours everyday. blahh.. but.. Kathryn DID make my day by sending me a tin of cookies! And they're soooooo good. My mother had to pry the tin out of my hands. THANKS BUTTRYN!! YOU'RE A ROCK STAR! I'm way excited.. I gotta find some time to make some cookies and calorie bars and what not.. :) hehe.. I LOVE not going to school.

well.. I haven't blogged in awhile, but I guess I just didn't feel like it. nothing exciting really. came home from school, went out to lunch and took Carrie to the airport. then went to go have my wisdom teeth taken out. DUDE it sucked. I sat there in a chair and at first the dentist put this gel on my gums that made it kinda numb, and then he tried to put this other numbing stuff in my mouth, but it was in the form of a BIG NEEDLE!! and i completely freaked and jumped out and cried for like a minute. and then just closed my eyes and went through with the operation. I'm sure the dentist thought I was a huge baby. But it was really weird because at one point I went to go scratch my chin, and I could feel the flesh on my chin, but my chin couldn't tell it was being touched. I guess that numbing stuff works REAL well huh? So I closed my eyes, while the rest of the operation was finished. The first tooth took FOREVER to take out, and I figured, hey... if it didn't want to come out, isn't that the point? Just leave it be.. but I guess it doesn't really work that way. A little later I was done, and I chilled, watched TV, took Vicodin and went to bed. that's pretty much how the last two days have been. My sister came by yesterday.. yay! We watched Dawson's Creek and Felicity together.. and she looks so cute! She cut her hair.. aw that kinda makes me want to cut my hair.. but then, I can't look like her! Tomorrow I gotta drive back to SD for work. Hopefully I'll get to play with Kimmy and her calorie bars.. hahaha..

ps.. my mom's a dork. you know that lame commercial with the titanic spoof of the old lady throwing the 'heart of the ocean' diamond of the edge of the boat, and then diving it afterwards realizing how much it's worth and then pawning it off and then become all rich. my mom LOVES that commercial.. how funny. she's a funny monkey.

yay!!! no more tests, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks. (or in my case, mean TA's)

hahahah.. anyways.. i'm SOOOO done with school and it's been long enough dammit. 10 long long weeks. But yes, I'm finally done (sorry for gloating guys, but this was NOT a fun quarter)

The day after the date auction, I got my butt outta bed and had my meeting with the Kiwanis to start up USD again...umm.. anyone want to help me? please? But yeah, then went to work, and UCSD WOMEN'S SOCCER won the NCAA Div II National Championships!! Whoo hoo! This is the second year in a row that we won it, and the third consecutive year overall (the first year is Div III) Dude.. our soccer team kicks a lot of butt. But it was really cool because I got a little special pass that said "EVENT STAFF" and got to go in special places and had food provided, and I got a walkie talkie (yup.. that means I was REALLY important) hahah.. I love my job. Anyways.. come home, chilled, refused to do my papers, so I watched Varsity Blues. I LOOOOOOVE that movie. It's sooo good. Then I went to bed. (yeah.. I was real productive)

The next day, (monday), woke up late, tried to get some paper done, but wasn't so successful. Went to the San Diego State meeting and then came home, loafed, and wrote my COHI 117 paper. Went to bed really late. Tuesday, I got my butt outta bed at 10:30am went to school to turn in my paper and came home, and tried to write my papers... I mostly read. And watched the Real World Marathon (Kristen's fault) and the Season Finale... aww.. it was soooo sad..but cute at the same time. I would love to be on the Real World, I think that would be awesome.. it's my new goal. Ü Then I tried do my last two papers... but I got in a fight with my mom.. (yes.. again) and was in a really rotten mood. I made Vivian take a drive with me, we went to La Jolla Shores, Mt. Soledad (yeah.. we made out), and In 'N' Out. yup.. drowning out sorrows in chocolate milkshake. Then came back, read, fell asleep and said I'd do it tomorrow.. hah.

Wednesday, I was supposed to re-write my COCU paper.. but I couldn't wake up!! So I woke up an hour before it was due, re-wrote it and had Vivian fix it up (I TOTALLY OWE YOU VIVIAN) and sped to school to turn it in. Then came home, attempted to do my COSF paper... and had to read all these articles first. That took FOREVER. Finally got cracking and pumped out my 6 page paper, complete with references in 1.5 hours. hehe.. that's pretty good, but I'm not really going to comment about the quality of it. Sped to school (again) late and turned it in where I got the NASTIEST look from Cynthia. yuck. But heck.. I was done with my finals, so at that point.. I was like... whatever. Went to Ichibans with Vivian, Kristen, Jill-A, Amanda and Becca for a finals week sushi dinner. whoo hoo! It was good stuff, Vivian totally pigged out.. haha jk. Then drove over to Chris, Mikey and Albert's because it was Chris' birthday!! Happy 21st to him. Too bad he had finals to study for still. And HARD finals.. Chris is a smart boy with smart boy classes (engineering). We delivered his chocolate cake, and chilled for a bit, and got to hang out with Katie Riggs too! yay! But.. Mikey got Chris the BEST birthday present.. hehe.. he bought Chris The Sims game and the HOT DATE EXPANSION PACK!! Next to the e-Kara popstar microphone, that's what I totally wanted. yes yes yes.. I know I'm lame, and I actually want this computer game about going on dates, but it's fun!! So we're going to go back to Chris and Mikey's to go help them pack (they're moving) and play HOT DATE. hehehehe. I'm so excited. Then went and pigged out again on celebratory ice cream at Ghiradelli's (mmm...) with Kathryn, Nadia, Fatima and Kari. I could eat ice cream all day. Had to pay for parking (grr..) and realized I HAD nooooo money... but I fished $4 in changed out and gave it to a very dissapointed parking guy. oops.. sorry.

Later.. I conned Vivian into coming over so that I could keep her up while she typed her paper... and stayed up with her all night.. then went to a Kiwanis breakfast.. soooooo tired. I wanted to pass out while driving. (bad news) .. Then came back, passed out in my bed while Vivian finished up her paper, and half of my cupcakes.. hahaha.. Then I slept ALL day.. woke up at 6pm, and I'm just chillin. It's good not to have any school.. I love it. :)

I talked to my daddy today.. he's so cute! (that's all I wanted to say about him) But I'm excited because I get to work book this weekend for the basketball games.. that's my favorite thing to do! yaaay! Go UCSD basketball... I'll get to see Mike and his broken nose.. hehehe.. :( poor Michael. but that's my life.. nothing too interesting.

duude.. tonight started out as a fun night.. but ended kind of sourly. yuck

well. after staying up way late for no good reason last night, I woke up at 2pm (yup.. i'm a bum) yesterday, bummed around until 3pm... chit chatting, and kinda sorta cleaning my room... and then showered and got ready to go the foothill date auction. michelle, sakura and I drove there and had a good time. it was pure comedy and absolutely hilarious and a great time. ryan and beth's script was all cheesy and full of lame pick up lines ... and the sad part was.. that I knew them all. hahaha.. damn.. i can't use them anymore. anyways.. so yeah. I made Michelle buy Petey, but eh.. whatever.. it's a good time. I was gonna bid of on someone, but then the prices got ridiculously high, $200 for Salamanca!! although..there was a reason for that.. but... $90 for Regala... Joe West. hahah.. and that was the "real" high bid of the night.. but whatever. I'm really proud of them for raising such a great amount of money.. and Ryan and Beth and Salamanca did an awesome job planning it. Everyone who went had a good time... especially Kathy! hahahaha.

Anyways... we tagged along to dinner at Macaroni Grill afterwards, especially since our ride was on a date.. and then just chilled, and ate.. and schmoozed. While drive home, Michelle got pulled over. saaaad :( and the cops were such jerks. It was no fun at all. And while we were waiting I was going to run into the gas station, and they made me stay in the car.. "for my safety" What retards. I hate cops that have their heads up their butts and just ride way too high on their power trips to be nice to someone. I think they should have better things to do that make people feel bad at 2am, or hide in intersections waiting for people who don't make full and complete stops. I'm all for safety and what not.. but ridiculous citations and what not are just a waste of everyone's time. yuck. (that goes for those retarded RSO's at school, and some of those CSO's too... not Jason though.. Ü) he's the best one out there.. haha. I guess I just feel bad because it's like I made Michelle go, and I made her drive for my own selfish reasons... boooooooo. I'm sorry Michelle... :(

so yeah.. basically I'm a moron. for those of you who already knew that.. no big news.. but here's the latest reason why, and yet another thing for people to make fun of me about. Last monday I went to the ucsd cki banquet, and then a week later when I couldn't find my wool coat I thought I lost it. I whined and complained for a whole week because i was so bummed that I lost my wool jacket, and I had no clue where I could have lost it... and today.. I FOUND IT IN MY CLOSET. yup. i felt like a moron.

aaaaanyways. umm... let's see. This week has been blah. I've spent all week being so tired.. for really no good reason at all, but here it is.

NOVEMBER 24
after my retarded blogs (sorry guys) that day i slept and then chilled with the fam, and then drove home. it kinda sucked though because it was all rainy and gross and trafficky. also.. i don't think it helped that i wanted to fall asleep.. but anyways. I got home.. attempted to do some homework, and then went to go see a play at my school: Life's a Dream. It was a really really good play, maybe the best graduate production I've seen so far. Mike Ratterman and Vivian's new obsession were in it.. AS WELL AS my acting TA Erik Johnson. dude.. he's soooooo awesome.. he's going to be fucking famous one day..I guarantee it. He's phenomenal. Enough gushing.. but later that night we went to Mikey, Chris and Albert's awesome PB house. It was so cute.. and it was complete with a "man room" which was their garage converted into a chill room with couches, cool posters and a foosball table (which I KICKED Neil's ass in.. hahaha) It was so Al Bundy No Ma'am type deal... it was so chill... I loved it. We watched Almost Famous on their super fly sound system, and then I drove home my drunkard friends, all the while my car was being turned into the bootymobile... siiiiick.

NOVEMBER 25
I woke up late.. had a lazy day.. then went to Fashion Valley with Vivian. I'm very proud of myself.. I didn't buy anything.. yay me. Then ate dinner at Viv's and did birthday present preparations. It was fun.. birthdays are fun... i love birthdays.. they are a big deal no matter what anyone says.. *mom.. *pete.. *losers
oooooh.. this is why I was so tired this week. On Sunday night I stayed up really really late talking to various people about lots of different things. And also catching up on work that needed to be done.. that I just decided not to go to bed that night because when I was done it was like 6:30 and I had class at 8am. this drained me alllll week.

NOVEMBER 26
Went to class, class, circle k meeting, chillin with sakura, reading, sleep.

NOVEMBER 27
class, point loma kiwanis mtg, reading sleep, mania came over!!
OH YEAH.. happy TWENTY FIRST birthday to peter holiday.. i had to be nice to him for 24 hours.. that was excruciatingly painful..

NOVEMBER 28
DUUUUDE. I went to the INCUBUS CONCERT!! it was so awesome.. I was brave enough to go on the floor, and I was so smushed and had a million people groping me that night I'm sure, and at the end of the night I probably had sweat of all kind in my clothes. Yuck.. BUT IT WAS FUN. haha.. i didn't feel so good at the end of that night though. first I got lost from vivian from all the pushing and shoving and squishing. then someone landed on my head while they were crowd surfing. i swear my neck could have been broken or something. although.. i'm sure i would have been able to tell right away.. maybe it just got jammed. and then i fell once, and then a second time! the second time was way scary though because like 20 other people fell on top of me, and then got up, and then 10 more people fell on top of me. At that point I decided I was not having so much fun anymore and wanted out. found vivian.. we watched from afar... but they are so incredibly awesome and talented. i spent most of the time just watching brandon sing, and he seems to really put himself into his music and what he does.. it's great. i almost got to touch him too, but there were tall guys all around me with much longer arms.. booo... and then waited outside afterwards to see if we could meet them like we did with GAVIN ROSSDALE and weezer. but i had a horrific headache and my contacts were bothering me and it was butt cold, AND we didn't get to see BRANDON BOYD, so it was not so fun either. But.. I did get to see Kilmore rather up close being driven away. I did lose my old navy shirt though after taking it off because it was too drenched with sweat (yuck). and I was really pissed because i felt like i was losing EVERYTHING!! (keep in mind this was before i found my jacket IN MY CLOSET!!) got dropped off at home, and then tired and sore, showered and then went to bed.

NOVEMBER 29
class at 8am.. yuck, it was a rainy day :(, tutoring kids..., watched dawson's and felicity.. awww.. i want a pacey! or a ben.. (YEAH NICOLE.. BEN.. NOEL IS LAME) and this is a question that I have. when did dawson leery get so unbelievably hot. i was watching this episode.. and he's sooooo cute. I don't understand, and it's not like i really ever though before.. but he just was so irresistable in this episode. yikes. but yeah.. dawson's and felicity are definitely guilty pleasures. then i went to LA Fitness (in San Diego.. haha) with Vivian and we worked out.. I ran for a mile.. good for me eh? It was bad though because my arms and stomach already hurt mucho from the concert the night before.. so i added pain on top of that.. no good. but it was alright..

NOVEMBER 30
that's today!! LAST DAY OF THE QUARTER.. ALRITE!! i'm so excited this quarter is over. it seems like it's been way too long. like the vendor fair was sooooo long ago. but this quarter has seemed to drag on foreeeever.. and so i am not really sad to see it go at all. especially that cosf 100 class. but YAY!!! so i'm done with classes.. which is awesome. and all of my finals are PAPERS!! whoo hoo.. so I don't actually have to take any tests.. figures.. i should probably be working on them now, or cleaning my room.. but that's why I'm blogging. haha.. but after my classes I went to work at the NCAA Final Four for women's soccer. yay!! i felt all special.. I had a special seat with a sign with my name on it.. and then i got a special pass type deal. hehee.. i love my job. i EVEN had a walkee talkee.. hehe.. those always make you feel important. but i had to call in what was going on in the game so that Ray could update it on the website so people could look at the game on goings.. live. cool huh? well.. UCSD was in the final four.. and it was AWESOME. the first part of the game was pretty uneventful.. but it quickly got exciting. but .. WE WON our semi-final game and we're going to the championships!!! yay! and the crowd was incredible. they were cheering throughout the whole game.. it was great. people who think that there are no sports at our school are kinda right.. but at the same time.. it's there if you want to be part of it.. you just need to go out and support it, so I'm glad that people came out tonight.. it was so fun.

other than that.. not too much else. going to the foothill date auction tomorrow.. hahaha.. it's going to be comedy. still feel like a moron about my jacket.. but EXTREMELY happy that i didn't lose it. it made my day. so happy that this quarter is done with. still very tired, but yet.. still procrastinating as you read. some things never change eh?