so this week has been a lot of up and down..but in then end i think that i have a lot to be happy about.. so ... yea. i was super overdramatic about last week, but i guess i was just having a shitty day in general.. and the first place i go to vent is they blog. so it's just unfortunate that you get all the emotional dribble that comes out when i'm first really angry without really asking. (although by coming here aren't you kind of asking for it?) anyhoo, nicole didn't beat my ass down and didn't kill me like everyone said she would, so i'm grateful for that. she even gave me a bottle of limoncello (lemon flavored alcohol?) from italy (yay!!) that i actually still have in my purse. mm.. work is going to be fun today. jk. she gave to each me and beth, except i got the one that's 35% alcohol, and beth got 20%.. man.. everyone thinks that i'm an alcoholic. :P

anyhoo...last week was busy.. and i still have 6 hours of tv saved on my tivo that i don't have the energy or time to watch. mostly it's my own fault.. but i like to make myself "seem" cool that i have so much to do :P even though i've "taken a break" from the gap lately, since i'm stage managing, what i thought would be free time, has been quickly taken up. although since we opened last week we no longer have rehearsals, and it's just one show a week. i'll probably have to go back to the gap soon for holiday season, but it might be exciting... today is the first day for the new cross brand credit card :) nice huh? or finally. we had softball on monday (lost 18-9.. boo hoo), tuesday i worked, but beth came by to hang out and so afterwards benji, beth and i went to the kettle to chit chat, sneer at ladies we though were being mean to us, and eat lots of crap late at night. it was very entertaining to listen to beth and benji argue about gay marriage in the background of me trying to scorekeep. no particular reason why.. but just to hear them fight. haha. the only thing is is that sometimes they like to gang up against me and make fun of me.. and that's not so fun :P wednesday was the last day of tech hell before thursday which of opening night and then friday i got to just stay home and do nothing :) awesome. i was going to go to the "pain in the butt" class, but didn't, and actually went with my dad to china buffet for dinner.

i actually really dislike china buffet, i think it's pretty disgusting, but my parents really like it. my dad especially wanted to go because they had king crab legs in their buffet. my dad has been asking me if i wanted to go with him for a few weeks now, and i've always been not able to go, so i figure.. what the hell, and humored him. it was okay, not the best, but not as awful as the first time i went. the highlight was my dessert where i had these sugar donut bits topped with ice cream. yum. :) my dad was in king crab leg heaven (and for only $12.99) but not as much as the two ladies across from us who only ate crab legs and lots of them. their entire table was filled with plates of empty shells, and they kept going for more. but i guess that's pretty smart of them. it's definitely a popular item there, as soon as they'd bring out a tray, people would be swarming around, and sometimes grabbing a lot and it'd be gone within like 5-10 minutes. then they'd have to wait another 20 minutes or so for another tray and the process would start over again, while people circled around the area like vultures. this time there was no fobby happy birthday music playing every 10 minutes, i guess nobody wanted to go their for their birthday friday night. overall it was a good time with my dad.. and it ended with me spraying water all over him with my straw because he bet me that i couldn't hit him. haha.. it sounds weird, but we were having lots of fun :)

saturday i was supposed to stay home and be productive at home, but i ended up going to softball practice in LA, coming back to shower, going back to LA to have late lunch/early dinner with jeff-gu and joan. yay for olive garden and the never ending pasta bowl. and cheers to us for being asian and sharing our food all the time :) haah.. jeff suggested we give our leftovers to a homeless guy standing outside the restaurant and we figured why not. he needed it more than we did, although his pot belly would say otherwise :P we joked how it was from "all the carbs he was eating from standing outside olive garden" :P and then i remembered how i had two bits of half eaten breadstick in my box of leftovers. oops, that will probably seem kind of gross, but hey i wasn't intending on giving it to anyone when i did that :P we did a little shopping at expo - i helped my sister pick out a new mirror for her bathroom.. yay!!! her house is coming together so nicely :) it's purrtty. and then to best buy.. heheh.. the simple life on dvd for $5.99. awesome :) and a bunch of other dvd's. haha.. i am such a sucker for... everything. i almost bought seasons 1-4 of saved by the bell, but my sister stopped me.. which was probably a good thing :) then i sped off to work and worked two ice hockey games. which was fun, because sometimes i like doing something other than inline.. but sucky because i got yelled at and harassed by stupid people. dumb dumb dumb. i got yelled at a few times on tuesday, but i guess since i see them every week, they're a little nicer to me. oh well.. whatever.. people are just stupid sometimes.

sunday we were supposed to go to disneyland during the day, but the guy who was supposed to cover my shift at work never showed up, so i felt bad and delayed the fun and went to work for a few hours, left early and went to disneyland with beth and nicole :) we ate dinner, marveled at the redecorated haunted mansion for nightmare before christmas - which is pretty genious because it's halloween and christmas without having to change anything. nicole and beth gabbed about all the amazing art and facts about italy. we rode it's a small world, indiana jones and i finally got to go on the tea cups.. yay! haha.. and beth went on splash mountain with me. we got out just in time to catch the fireworks show (that's what they were all camping out for nicole.. not fantasmic :P) and did a little bit of shopping on main street. the heinous girl from rainforest wanted a receipt when i went to ask for validation. when did they start the crackdown? boo them. it was a fun fun night, except for the sakura couldn't come :( and beth and i got a little lost on the way home... oops.. but we were alright. we missed the 91 ... and we could have just got off and got the on the freeway going the other way.. except we just saw a huge car accident on the other side which caused a huge traffic jam.. so we just had to stop and pull out the map and figure out side streets. not too shabby.

tonight is softball.. apparently we're playing the best team in the league (which i thought we already had when we got our asses kicked in previous games.. but i guess i'll just have to prepare for slaughter tonight), tuesday is work, and thursday is the play. (i hope someone will come this week!) i'll probably take another week or two of break and go back to the gap. or maybe i'll get a job before then! (hah.. was that a joke?) but anyhoo....... maybe it's time to get back to work. blah blah blah.

happy columbus day.

so i don't know what it is about asian adults and their need to be so frank with other asian people. i mean.. my parents always say a lot of crap, but my mom always spews some crap like "oh it's because i love you... i'll tell you the truth like your friends won't." with that said...

yesterday went to the last tech before we open tomorrow. i went straight from work so that i could be "early" but traffic and trying to find parking made sure that i wasn't too early. i got there and checked in and decided to get some stuff to eat. so i went to the pizza place because the chicken place was closed for some reason and got other people food as well. then i stopped into this store that has snacks and weird "hollywood" souvenirs for tourists and junk. it's run by this korean couple and today the korean man was there. i walk in carrying two small boxes of pizza and a bag. and i ask him if i can set it on the counter while i get some drinks. and he makes some conversation...

korean man: "are you chinese?"
me: "yes"
korean man: "you're very beautiful"

or at least that's what i thought he said.. i wouldn't second guess my hearing except for what he said after that.

me: (laughs) "oh thanks"
korean man: "how old are you?"
me: a little creeped hoping he doesn't ask me out or something "twenty two"
korean man: "ahh.. only twenty two?"
me: courtesy laugh.. "yes"
korean man: "you need more diet" (making large hand gestures demonstrating my obesity)
me: *blink* *pause*.. another courtesy laugh.

what the heck was i supposed to say? i mean.. i guess i supposed i could say "you're right" or "i know" or "shove it asshole" .. but i had no idea. like he made me feel good with that first compliment and then just shot it down like it was open season on my self-esteem. did he think that all those pizza boxes and bags of food and two drinks were all for me? or is that just how older asian people are with the "younger generation." i know my mom's friends used to say stuff like that to my sister and she would be really upset, but never complete strangers. and it's not like he was trying to be mean... i'm sure he fully expects me to come into his store again tonight.. he asked me where i lived, if i was a visitor.. or whatever. or maybe he felt he could be that frank since he'd never see me again. i should go in there every thursday from now on... who knows. it's a little embarassing telling you all this, but it's also a little funny as well. so have a laugh at my expense.

so finally i get around to posting this. come see the play i'm stage managing!! i know i'm not actually "in it" but it would still be kind of cool to have friends there telling me how great i was and showering me with gifts. so then i can say "take that actors.. my stage managing brings all the friends to the yard" right. kidding though.. no gifts necessary.. just you! consider it your birthday present to me.

it's called "here come the fosters" it's the "2nd episode" and it's like a mock tv sitcom from the 80's. it's super funny, so i think you guys should ALL come and watch. see my amazing skills in pressing light and sound buttons :P

here come the fosters - episode 2
theatre/theatre
6425 hollywood blvd., theatre b
(btwn wilcox and cahuenga)
hollywood, ca
thursdays 8pm (oct 7, 14, 21 nov 4, 11, 18 dec 2, 9, 16)

tickets: $15
reservation/ticket line: 323)988.4300

let me know if you have any questions! come come come!!

happy birthday sakura!!

*if i wasn't such a lazy ass i'd have scanned the photo booth pictures of us and put those instead. maybe i will later

i just totally majorly fucked up. before nicole left for italy she put me in charge of registering for this mouseplanet thing we wanted to go to. i said that we should register before she leaves, just to make sure it's all taken care of. those are possibly the smartest words i've uttered, but yet i didn't listen to myself. last week i checked and the registration fee had gone up from $12 to $20. dammit. there was an $8 i was thinking about eating for my 'teammates' since it was sort of my bad i didn't remember. i thought about what a good teamname would be and sort of forgot about it again. i didn't even think about the possibility of it getting full. who knew these things were so popular. not me... but i'm also quite dumb. so yea.. i checked today.. and it's full. i fucking suck right now. maybe beth is right.. i am totally unrealiable and an unpleasant person. rad. and everyone laughs at me because they think whenever i say a time to meet.. it means 1 hour later. no wonder i'm such a loser. grr.

happy october! well a few days late, but you get the point.. whatever.

today started off to be a good day... this morning i woke up a little earlier to get to work at a decent time.. but i dillydallied a little and then got a phone call from NICOLE IN ITALY!! yay!!! i was sad because i missed her phone call on friday due to my not getting reception at work. boo.. plus since they changed my desk i don't get any of my phone calls since they haven't transferred the line yet. argh. oh well.. we chatted for 30 minutes while i was supposed to be at work (oops).. but it was nice chatting with her.. she told me how hot her tour guide was, how great the italian men are and how she's whoring it up and down and all around town. just kidding on that last part. as we were getting off the phone i screamed "hook up with some guys!" and she said okay. i expect exciting stories when she comes back :P

i interviewed for this pretty big special effects company and didn't get the job. boo hoo hoo... argh.. i hate this. i feel like it's never going to happen.. i should just give up and work at the gap for the rest of my life. or fine some clerk or cold calling job somewhere. totally unrelated to anything i want to do. how do people make it.. it is even worth. just like that msn article said.. do what you love and you'll starve. blech.

i am stage managing the play again. they called and really needed someone.. and since nothing else is working out right now.. i said okay. it's fun and funny.. you guys should come out and see it (if you're in the LA area).. hopefully everyone will come out. i know i'm not actually in it (on stage/acting etc).. but it would still mean a lot to me if you came. and the show isn't bad.. so there's a plus. i'll post more info later.. or ask me! :)

i don't really follow baseball that well.. but i think it's cool that there's a chance that it could be a "freeway world series" or whatever they call it. dodgers and angels.. yay for so.cal pride! but then it's harder to choose who to root for.. haha.. maybe the one with the cuter team. jk.

friday a bunch of us girls went out for sakura's early birthday celebration in hermosa. it was a lot of fun :) we drank those big fish bowl size buckets of mixed drinks.. and danced a lot. we went to the union cattle for sakura to ride the bull but didn't quite make it all the way to the bull.. oh well.. she promised next time! it was a good time. except when i woke up at 6am feeling like my stomach was going to hurl itself out of my body. oh my.. i felt so horrendous for a good hour. i stood over the toilet and up against a trash can for a good while, as a preemptive measure.. but nothing came out. i forced down some water, and finally managed to get back to sleep and woke up at 9am feeling great. thank god for water :P i was so relieved that i was feeling really good when i woke back up though. went to rehearsal and then to hang out with my sister. whenever i hang out with her now we always go shopping and i always end up spending a TON of money. i'm not in debt, but i'm not saving any money.. but i have lots of cute stuff! hah. we ate at this greek place on 3rd street, which was pretty yummy but pricey.. went back to chill at her place and played a little bit of poker. after losing all my chips i went over to venice to celebrate luz/vi's birthday! i don't see her all that often because she's in santa barbara now.. mostly just for birthdays.. but it was fun hanging out with her and her lifeguarding friends :) the sucky part is that i didn't notice the parking lot sign that said no parking from 11pm-5am. funny thing is that i parked in that lot at 11:48.. shouldn't they close it or something? damn.. that's a $45 fee for being a dumbass.

sunday i napped, ate, shopped a little, browsed the sunday ads and went to tech rehearsal. since i came into the show a lot later, it's harder to adjust because i don't know everything so well. i'm losing a night of tech for softball too.. i hope wednesday's tech isn't too painful. the booth is different too and a little spread out, and there's a lot more light cues than i anticipated.. i hope i can pull them all off. i guess that's my job right? we'll see how it goes tonight... i'm going up to test some stuff out and then coming back in time for the game. i hope we don't lose, but i think we're playing a really good team again. i've lost a lot of confidence in my abilities as a pitcher, and i keep having really awful flashes of me getting hit in the face/head and going blind/getting knocked out/brain damage/dying. that doesn't help too much. i gotta get over the hump.

it's almost halloween. almost a year since i've had this temp job. it's funny how so many things can change in a year... and yet some other things don't. oh well.. life is change huh? haha.. stupid ICON motivational speaker.. it's so cheesy.. but so memorable. i'm hungry.. and i want to go home to sleep. anyone want to be my sugar daddy?

so i really shouldn't be online.. i have so many other things to do.. clean my room, catch up on tivo'ed tv, sleep.. but yet i am here. my addiction to the internet.. even when the internet can be boring.. is deadly.

tomorrow i am excited to be able to stay at home and just chillax. my weeks lately have consisted of being out of the house everynight.. and while that may seem exciting.. it is tiring. this week was softball, hockey, and stage managing tonight. friday is bday party, saturday- rehearsal, bday party and sunday- hockey then rehearsal. yikes yikes yikes. i am looking forward to tomorrow. i hope i don't waste it online :P

work was interesting on tuesday night. some short funnies are that this old lady came up and asked me if a team was playing at that time.. or rather .. where the team she wanted to watch was (the puckheads). she swore that they were supposed to be playing right now at that rink after i suggested that they were an ice team. she says to me.. "no i KNOW they're playing monday at 10pm" i say to her "it's tuesday."

there's a team that has consistent fans coming each week. i don't know if they're just friends or wives or something.. (i never turn around to look.. i don't know why) but they're japanese women with slightly fobby accents. i always hear them commenting on the game.. cheering on players.. and whatnot. a few times someone would miss the shot, or fall or something "amusing" to them.. and the group of them (2 or 3? i can't tell) laugh/giggle so daintily it's like those japanese cartoons. not like the raunchy laughter that i have when i find something really funny. but it was just like a soundtrack to anime. haha.. why can't i be more ladylike? and cute and japanese.. in little school girl outfits. hah.

keep one of the next 11 thursday nights open for me. i'm stage managing (really just pressing buttons on a light & sound board) a play and you guys should come see it.. and then tell me how great i was in making the show just right. haha.. i'll know it's all bs, but it's still nice to hear. i need a little love sometimes.

man o man.. it was 11:30pm when i was contemplating going to bed.. now it's 1am.. why doesn't time fly this fast when i'm at work?

playing catch up is a bitch. remind me why i am trying so hard for a temp job? :P

job hunting blows.

i hate interviews.

have a great day!

too tired to post... but i made like $4.50 at the garage sale. hell yea. :P i blame sakura for missing the rush of professional garage sale shoppers saturday morning. :P

and

happy birthday manny!

blech... so i am under semi-house arrest this weekend. semi because i might be able to sneak out to jimmy's garage sale to get rid of some of my stuff, make some money and hopefully not buy too much stuff back... but house arrest because i don't get what i really want to do :(

i had been looking into going down to san diego to hang out with fun friends and go see .pete. play in the san diego music awards acoustic showcase. awesome huh? cuz he's nominated for best acoustic.. niice. anyhow... i got my shift covered at the gap, but because of complications aka the asian mother syndrome and my messy room.. i can't go. which sucks because i really wanted to go just hang out, i wanted to see pete play, and tristan, and i wanted to see friends. philly is going to kick my ass for flaking on her, beth is going to beat me up for not going, kelly is cool with it, but still wants me to go, which is soooooooo tempting. i want to just take off and go... but i'm sure my mom will change the locks or something, or not speak to me for another 3 weeks... i dunno anymore.

it's okay though.. because right now i'm a little anti-social. sitting in my filth and cleaning can maybe be fun too. maybe i will clean out enough shit of mine (everyone knows i have enough of it) and make a small fortune during the weekend.. or at least get rid of it. who knows.. i need to take some time to breathe.....

reality tv = love

i came home after midnight last night after getting off work and i should have gone to bed, but i stayed up because i HAD to watch who won big brother 5 and the amazing race. i've always loved big brother.. i remember all those ICON's and hotel rooms where i shushed everyone or yelled at them to be quiet because i couldn't hear. just ask ryan :P this is my first season watching the amazing race. i dunno, i never had really heard about it before, and last year watching the emmys, they were nominated and my sister really wanted them to win because that show was amazing not only concept wise, but camera and logistics and planning and everything. she was right, and they won as well.

sooooooooooooo... i checked it out.. and i'm happy. the hottest guy on reality tv, drew won big brother 5. i wanted him to win, but he also is kind of smarmy.. so i was kind of mixed about that. although i don't like diane, so sometimes when he makes smarmy comments about her it makes me giggle. i wanted will to win just because he was so great and plus he wanted to do something good with the money.. to help other people. that's so nice. drew's gonna use it to go drinking and then buy that girl vanessa a new goonies shirt. hah. like he seems like such a nice guy, but can also be one of those guys who seems nice, but then turns around and does the typical frat boy action :P those are the worst :P but man oh man.. drew and his twin brother, ben.. hottness.

chip & kim won amazing race.. i didn't want them to win. i don't know why.. i didn't like them from a long time ago.. and sometimes they'd redeem themselves, and other times i really didn't like them. but.. i dunno. i know it's a "game" and you have to "lie" but .. still. and talking to nicole this morning about their lucky break of getting a new flight when they found out the first "fastest" one was delayed made their game and broke it for everyone else. nicole says "it's all part of the game!" but still.. that sucks. it's like losing a really close game at the end due to a horrible ref call. (but if they were smart like me and nicole they would have known what the flag of the philippines is! that was too funny.. and yet dissapointing.) i guess the dating christian models don't really need money, and colin and christie already have 3 paid vacation trips.. so it's okay. i really wanted the moms to get a trip.. (or win) but their last moments were precious. aww.. they'll probably be doing those new ziploc or dishwasher liquid mom commercials or whatever.. do you know what i'm talking about? my final thought... is that colin has a pretty nasty attitude and nicole is a whiney bossy brat... sooooooooooo. i think that christie and brandon should get together. haha.. although brandon might be too religious for christie (i swear colin and christie were banging in front of that one tower when they were waiting for it to open and before chip and kim came... the perks of being in first place i suppose) and i dunno.. but i think they'd make a nice couple and they can ditch their jerky other halves. although i guess in every relationship there's always a crazy one.. or else it gets boring.

one tree hill started last night, the mountain premieres tonight (hahaha.. EDDIE) and the bachelor. the bachelor seems a lot lot older this time around (both of them) we'll see huh? yay for sweeps! (ps.. i was so shocked when bradley got voted off the apprentice last week.. "oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.") i wonder if everyone is going to hate ivana now. dayam.

i'm bored... i can't even do work if i wanted to. the databases that i'm using are being retarded.... so i'm using my manager's login to connect. and usually i use this one program to cross-reference info, but now that part of the browser isn't showing up anymore... argh. i can't do aaaaaaaaaaanyyyythiiing. and i guess i shouldn't complain... but it's getting to a point where even the internet is boring! crazy.

i toko a half day today because i had some stuff to do in the morning. when i drove up, i saw a smashed up van, a light/power pole that was down and tons of traffic backed up. good think it was in the other direction... but it was crazy - the whole building was dark and small amounts of lights are on back up generators. we have power back now, but it's all back up diesel generators.. interesting. i wonder what happened.. but it's been a little bit crazy.

i'm tired.. i wish i could just take a nap.. not like i have anything that i can do right now anyways.. haha.. no one would miss me. maybe after i run the next report. really.. i wish i could just go home.. they don't need me here... argh.. oh well.. time to go play some games i suppose. im me... leave comments...entertain me... PLEASE.

we lost by one... damn damn damn. i HATE that!! i dunno if losing by a lot is worse, or losing when it's so close is worse. either way.. we lost.. daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

i feel awful because i let too many freaking people walk and too many people hit.. too many runs go in. and i got an awful awful out @ 3rd, where i either should have stayed at second or slid. but i was safe and then fell off the base and got out. suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. we could have got two runs maybe if i didn't get out. damn damn damn.

i hate losing. but you think after last time i'd be used to it by now, but it still always sucks. BUT i guess if we had to lose to anyone, this team is okay because they were nice enough to play and get a win for us last time... so they can have this one.

argh.

i am pretty starving right now... my stomach is about to eat itself. i guess that banana and orange didn't cut it at all. i have about 10 minutes before i take a relatively early (for me) lunch.. so i figured i'd blog.

i am the QUEEN of losing things.. and it sucks. i can't find my wallet.. it's been missing for about a week.. and when i first noticed i couldn't find it i thought "no big deal.. it's probably just in another bag" or something. it wasn't a huge deal because a)i thought i knew where it was and b)i already switched out my id & credit cards to my smaller "going out" wallet. i usually carry both in my purse, unless i'm using a smaller purse and just have the one. but the big one isn't in my other purse, and now is causing me some concern because i really tried looking for it and no dice. ugh. i'm hoping it's somewhere in the heaping piles of clothes growing in my room, because other than that i have no clue. it sucks.. i hate that i lose things so frequently. i have also misplaced my work badge. guess i should clean some stuff up tonight. argh. i have also lost my mraz dvd.. i set it on top of the tv and now it's gone. it's not behind the tv, so really.. again i have no clue.

yesterday night i went out with sakura and met up with nicole at downtown disney for a semi-bon voyage get together for nicole. sure sure.. i know she will be back, and it's only 17 days, but really.. it seems like forever.. and i'll totally miss her :P i'm sure after she comes back i will be like "that's it?" but for now, 17 days seems like an eternity. we couldn't decide on which downtown disney restaurant we were the least sick of, so nicole had the brilliant idea of eating in one of the retaurants in the hotel. we ended up @ goofy's kitchen which was buffet style and characters roaming the restaurant, complete with many a screaming kid. the food was alright, some better than the others - the prime rib and "goofyroni and cheese" were among my favorites. plus the wide wide array of desserts was really exciting. we had crazy chip visit us and play mispelled hangman, make a rose out of ketchup and tabasco sauce on the table and have drawings of himself on the table with the caption "luv 'n nuts" after nicole said he was going to write his number down. so either it was a girl inside or a gay chipmunk :P he was pretty funny though and after he left nicole had a funny look on her face and mouthed "crazy" and that made me laugh so hard i almost choked, so dale came back to make sure i was okay... except i screamed because i thought he was going to accost me, and then could not stop laughing. so we were the crazy girls and the chipmunk.

we walked around the hotel ground afterwards, visiting never land pool and some other cutesy themed places, and it looks pretty neat :) i wanna go stay there sometime.. ooh.. maybe the princess diaries suite, that would be fun. hahah.

-------------------------------------------------------
in the parking lot:
me: aww nicole.. don't go!!
nicole: but i'll be back in 17 days!
me: but still.. that's a long time
nicole: i'll be back soon!!.... with presents!
me: okay.
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have a softball game today @ 6:30pm - wilson park. come out and cheer us on! i haven't practiced at all..uh oh.

this is what my week looks like
monday- softball
tuesday- hockey
wednesday- gap
thursday - gap
friday- relaxing or san diego
saturday- garage sale & gap or san diego
sunday- garage sale or san diego.

aiya.

----------------------------------------------------------
jeanyah: damn.. a new guy came to replace the guy who got fired
jeanyah: i was hoping he would be a cute computer guy..
jeanyah: but no luck
TOomUCH PETE: lol
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today i came in this morning and there was a franz ferdinand cd on my desk. my co-worker bought it and didn't like it, so she let me have it. that's a nice way to start off a monday :) sweet.

whew.. i am finally freaking done with that video. well really i finished like 6 hours ago.. but i was doing stuff until now. and really i shouldn't be looking at a computer because my eyes are pretty shot, from staring at the screen editing .. but i am addicted to my blog, so here goes.

i think my final finished product was.. okay. pretty good that i had less that 24 hours to do the actual editing. i would say it ranks #3 or #4 out of the 5 projects i've done lately though. it's also hard when you have absolutely no control over the footage, but i guess that's what "real editors" do. :P or so i've been told. i hope they liked it, i hope my sister liked it... i was kind of nervous because she didn't get a chance to see the final product. she saw like 75% of it and then i tacked on the end part. oh well, it's all over now, presumably they've watched it and hopefully liked it. my sister swinged it so i got a little compensation for it... that is nice :)

thursday i worked at the gap and helped this customer who said she was clueless for like 2.5 hours, helping her pick out the right clothes, and then trying to find ones in her size since we didn't have them in our store. i sat at the register for an hour with just her and everyone thought it was a big deal that i was still so pleasant with her. but i dunno, i guess that's just the way i was trained, or also how i am usually, but moreso if i'm getting paid to do it. like helping the customers have a really good "experience" in our store. i think too often, people just don't care, and it does have that ripple effect. i heard bad stories about other people from the gap who sucked, and have a few stories of my own. a few times i'm sure people have thought that about me, but i try not to make it a habit. it's weird there is something satisfying about finding that pair of pants that the customer really wants. i know, i know.. i'm a dork. but i also think that it transcends into other factors/aspects of people's life. a lot of times people will brush people off for small reasons, or just because of other factors, maybe some they don't even know the whole truth about.. or people don't really try hard enough to stay connected, or make an effort. it has a ripple effect, but i guess if you didn't care in the first place, you never really will.

phew.. that was a tangent. friday i made my 90's flashback cd for my sister's video, drove up to LA and started to work on the video. throughout the night i armed myself with a supersized starbucks, mountain dew, vitamin water and bought some shrimp rolls for dinner. i took a "nap" at 2am, because i was pretty useless at that point, and was supposed to wake up in anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours, but slept until 8:30am. oops. it seemed okay, but then i went with my sister to the "cams get together & tour" which i thought would be a bigger deal, or cooler than it was, but really wasted a few hours time that i could have been editing. but i think seeing some of the 94 people made me want to do a better job for them to enjoy it, instead of just ending it as quickly as possible. so yay for that i guess. had a quick lunch at home and browsed through my pictures that i ordered from imagestation online. they turned out really good, better than costco's i think :) and s&h was only $2.. so not too bad. maybe that will be my option next time. drove back up to la to finish the video, finished 1 hr later than i was supposed to, drove down to long beach to drop it off (i was way late, but it was okay because they were still mingling). drove home to shower because i was a pile of filth and gross from the semi-all nighter. then drove up to beverly hills to see one of ryan's favorite bands - relax to paris. they were pretty good, i was too tired and hungry to properly enjoy them, maybe in the future. i saw an old high school friend, heather, at the concert. her roomie when to high school with some of the guys in the band, so i guess they go to all the shows. interesting.. what a small world.

so yea.. in the past 36 hours it was torrance->LA->torrance->carson->torrance->LA->long beach->torrance->beverly hills->LA->torrance.

man that is a lot of driving.

sorry for that angry burst of late night aggravation and insanity. in a town where EVERYONE is trying to be someone and trying to "make it" .. it's so hard to hear someone's relatively "easy" plight when you feel like you are just sitting here rotting. i remember when we went to go see napoleon dynamite @ the ucla free screening, it was filled with film students of sorts, and when they said it had been written by a 24 year old film student and his wife, i saw them all cringe and beth commented about how green they must all be. sitting there.. "it could be me" but sorry.. no it's not. that's me right now.

maybe it's not meant to be for me to do what i want to do. there is this depressing ass article about how if you want to do what you love, you will starve. gee that's great, thanks for the pep talk. i don't know man.. i just don't know. i'm sure some things look harder than they seem, and not everything is so easy, but sometimes it just is. i've noticed though, that when things are going to work out, they work out rather quickly. i just have to wait for the right moment. i hope it friggin comes soon.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. i hate la sometimes. no.. not really la itself. but the industry... one that i am aspiring to be in nonetheless. and that i will never be a part of. i hate how nepotistic it is sometimes. and sure... when i was partying it up with johnny knoxville or hanging out at sundance i didn't mind so much. when it blows in my favor i'm sure i don't complain. but those are little things. not big things. right now i'm just super frustrated... aggravated.... and tired. of everything.

and i can't get this last song i need for my super 90's flashback soundtrack to be done with.

and now i'm probably going to be late to work tomorrow... again.

and with so much to do tomorrow night too..............

fuck fuck #$%^&*@!!!

hold on to your nickels everyone!!

they're gonna change them. crazy huh? who needs to change the nickel? apparently we do. i like the old nickels, and i think the new ones are kind of not so cute, but i guess it's not up to be. i'm just going to have to start hoarding my nickels and keep them with my old quarters, $20's, $5's and $10's.

hmmm... what's goin on? i'm slacking off at work yet again. i am quite apathetic today.. data entry just isn't the same anymore :P plus the people at work are being meaner to me. well not mean, just not friendly. it's weird... oh well. more motivation for me to get outta here huh? yesterday i didn't come to work and i stayed home to digitize footage for the video that needs to be done by saturday. eeks... i finally finished imputing it all into the computer.. but haven't started editing. ack. i have friday night and saturday morning. 24hrs for one piece? uh oh.

it's my own fault though, i went with my sister to go run some errands and we ended up shopping for 3 hours. i spent like $100 or so.. crap :P gotta go return some other stuff i bought. hahah.

tuesday i worked at hockey again after our mini between season break. it kind of felt like i had never left, but i also felt like i forgot a lot of things. i messed up a few times with the clock & penalties. it's okay.. first day jitters right?

a happy belated birthday to my cousin michelle for yesterday. she turned 21! yay.. legal baby :) she's living the college life @ columbia. if you run into eli swanson... club him on the head and bring him back to california :)

nicole is leaving for italy in less than a week!!! oh my gosh... i can't believe it. i almost want to go wrap myself around her ankles so she can't go anywhere... but italy will be amazing. but it will be hard to deal without her. who else am i going to disney whore it up with, or spontaneously go see the piano man, watch fantasmic or eat breadbowl chowder? who else will i talk to at 2am when everyone else is asleep but us? who will say silly things to me on im, put up with my dumb stories (and really act like they are amused) and have conversations about the amazing race? and who else will keep me updated about the chippendales? nicole... don't go!! *(she told me she was going to try to find internet cafes to get online and blog or whatnot.. and although i would LOVE it, instead she should go find some hot italian boys to show her the good times. ;P stallion doesn't rhyme with italian for no reason ... jk.)

so this is my blog about my friend philly. she is AWESOME and rad and smart and mature (so why the hell is she friends with me?) but... she is only going to be a freshman in college. i swear that she is my age or older, but that's just her brain i suppose. she's always helping me, giving me advice, or just keeping me company late at night with talk of hot dawson's creek boys or what not. but anyways.. i was reading one of those random "get to know me" surveys and here's one that she put:

------------------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 fall in love - "ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love."
02 make my parents proud
03 make a difference
------------------------------------------------------------

wow.. i mean.. it's not really anything unordinary, but in that section most people put like "have sex in a public place" or "go sky diving" or "work on the olympics" :P but these are so good they make me want to be just like philly when i grow up :) when i read this, i was like "wow... she is so amazing." she even has cool quotes :)

yay!!! we won our softball game tonight.. yay the disabled list!! i'm pretty stoked. although right before the game started while warming up in the outfield one of the girls, lara, got hit in the face and started bleeding. yuk. it sucked, so her and her husband left to go to the hospital. and while the other team was being jerky "come on, let's play already", "oh that's a forfeit" we pulled 3 spectators that were from another team to play with us. they were really good. one of them pitched, so i got relief (which is good because she's way better than i am, and my shoulder/back is still really sore/tight from yesterday) can we say ... outta shape? haha. so yea.. and then this old guy asked if we needed another guy, and he was real good too. so we had 4 "ringers" so the other team was making snide comments "oh see you next time when we play your team" so we HAVE TO beat them next time. :P as always, hitting and outfielding are the weaker spots. but hey.. we won, so i'm not going to complain. it was a lot of fun - yay for winning! :) plus we like to cheer and scream and yell (while other teams just yell a little and clap). i think they probably think we're super obnoxious and peppy. hahaha.. whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

what was oprah's big surprise?

geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.

check this out too...

swim with the stars

it's not quite like champions on ice, cuz there's only 3, but i guess there's only so much you can do. what about gary hall jr? or aaron peirsol? or brendan hansen? mm... that would make it much better.

so.. this post is late.. sorry dude!! but

happy birthday benji!!(yesterday)

his birthday was 9/11.. and i didn't get a chance to post or hang out with him. :( sorry.. i suck. but you know.. he never reads this anyways.. so it's not like it quite matters. hahha. i'll just have to take him out later.. and i got him a present.. that's what really matters to anyone right? jk.

hmm.. well .. what have i been up to? not really sure.. a lot of this, a lot of that.. randomness here and there. this week was work and hanging out with friendies, my sister and more work. friday night i went up to LA and did some work for my sister, except i am dumb, and did it wrong, so really i accomplished nothing. which sucks a whole lot of ass. i have to finish a video by saturday, but i am working two days, and softball game tomorrow, so that leaves wednesday and friday.... ack. we'll see what i can come up with. it's gotta be good though. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. i got to eat this really good chinese chicken salad at this place near my sister's - california chicken cafe. i've been craving it everytime i've gone there but haven't gotten to eat it. i was quite happy on friday :) afterwards i went back to her house for a bit and watched some tivo - the complex:malibu. that show is pretty interesting... or maybe i'm just too easily amused.

saturday - worked @ the gap. good times as always. we have this new promo tool, it's these "how do you wear it" bands that come in like 6 different colors that we can pick to wear. of course, my greedy ass picked to wear all of them .. but yay rainbow! it's just funny, because it seems like a knock off on the whole "livestrong" bands. freaking EVERYWHERE. in fact, if i wanted to be "cool" i could sport the yellow one and pretend to jump on the bandwagon as well, but that would be even lamer than jumping on the bandwagon itself. but i do like my rainbow bands. except they make my wrist super sweaty :P

after worked i hauled ass over to chino hills. whoo hoo... i was glad my car made it. and the drive to chino hills wasn't too bad.. so i was grateful for that. it was carlene's birthday celebration!! those kids are so freaking skillful. first they re-did their floors - pulled out their carpet alllll by themselves and put in wood floors. .. and then they decorated their house (it was just like a restaurant! haha. and made it into a supercool birthday party scene. i want to rent their house and hire them to have my birthday party there. haha. they decorated the backyard all pretty, had yummy food that they made themselves (and some they ordered from daphne's) and were the best hosts ever. haha. they even provided some real entertainment national geographic style. in the middle of the celebration we heard a noise and saw two possums on the wall, but then one possum fell off (i think the other one pushed it), but then was trapped in their backyard. apparently possums are nasty and they like to attack, so we all went inside to continue the fun. there was the hookah, old school nintendo, poker and lots and lots more eating. joe provided the poker entertainment :) and the girls beat out all the boys. niiice. thanks for the good time concepcions!! i ended up spending the night to catch a few z's before driving back to lovely torrance, but ended up playing super mario with nicole until like 6am or so. yikes.... actually i played until like 6:30ish after nicole went to bed. i so wanted to rescue the princess... but i didn't :( i managed to get the 100+ lives in level 3, so i played for quite awhile, and then left the machine on (on pause) for nicole to pick up where i left off. i passed the seemingly impossible level 8-3 for her, so she's gotta do the castle. hahah. god speed nicole!

today i drove back this morning, which wasn't too bad, but i felt pretty crappy, either from eating too much, or being bloated, or too little sleep (or all three) - but i managed to make it to softball practice. we practiced for 3 hours, and most of the team showed up.. wow. it seems like it'll be fun. except i got sunburnt today :( i'm a little red, i hope it'll brown and not crisp :P

okay.. i should get some dubbing done. my mom is watching deuce bigalow on tv and really enjoying it. haha.. too hilarious.

oh.. and happy birthday carlene!! :)

i got the right date today... she is the big ol 23. she has mad skillz in web design, home decorating and general kick ass-ness. happy birthday old fart! :)

so i'm pretty bummed right now. i don't think that the star internship is going to be possible. i already got turned down at one place, and the other place hasn't called me back either. i thought about adding a class to do the cooperative career program, but i don't know if i have the time for a class or if i can even get into one at this point. i dunno, i mean i definitely didn't try very hard to do everything to get this spot, but ... it was an uphill battle to begin with. ugh. maybe that's just what i get.

i still haven't called the guy yet, i'm sure he's gonna be like "okay thanks bye." or he already knew just because it's been a week since i've talked to him. my friend ben tried to make me feel better by saying there was "no point in chasing after not-so-great jobs with no pay" so i guess that's true, because so many people questioned why i wanted to do it. but i did really like the facilities and thought i could definitely learn a ton. sakura told me if i didn't do it i wasn't allowed to complain anymore about my job situation. hah.

i have a dentist appointment today. i forgot to floss last night. shoot.

so i got off work a little while ago, redoing the walls and all. it was alright, it's never enough time to do what you want to do. :P but i did the bag wall in the men's section 1 if you go. hahah.. check out my handywork :P i should be sleeping but i need "downtime" from work... it's lame i know.. but anyways.

"Simpson's wardrobe checked by NFL"

are you kidding me? can you ever imagine jessica simpson flashin anyone? showing her boob to anyone that wasn't nick lachey? puhleeze. only if you were married to her maybe, and she's not a mormon. so yea.. i mean.. i guess they have good reason and you have to be extra careful and make grandiose gestures.. but seriously? jessica simpson? and then they say "Elton told me he won't take his shirt off," said Charles Coplin, one of the producers of the show. "He can do that. We've allowed him to do that." ew? yea.. i think that's scarier than anything janet and justin could have pulled off. :P

i was going to post something else from a friend's livejournal, but they are down and doing upgrading crap.. so it'll have to wait. but one more thing.. i was watching the end of closing ceremonies (that my mom taped) today and the closing sequence was soo good. and i love john williams and his music.. it just sounds "olympic" :) there was a sequence they cut together a lot of really fast action and winning shots, it made me smile really hugely, and as i watched the credits roll by for the different sport producers and editors, i thought.. "wow.. how awesome would that be" :P someday... someday... (maybe... haha.. yea right :P) the only thing i didn't like was that in both of the "remember the olympic shots" they ended with michael phelps (and that wasn't the only clip of him they used, like the 4th or 5th). ok ok.. i get it, michael phelps is great.. whatever.. it's kind of overkill. i guess he's really a hero to a lot of people, but my heart always belongs to gary hall jr. hahah.. (i'm a dork) but too, like to see the excitement in all the other athletes faces (esp. smaller countries) is so much better.. it seemed maybe he just expected to win so he was like "ho hum another medal" which makes him seem like a snot. but whatever.. he was only really excited during the 4x200 relay, and i guess he gave up his spot in the medley relay, which was nice, but it was like "i have so many and you have none.. so i will be nice and also get all this 'i'm so great' attention" haha.. whatever.. i'm not his biggest fan, sorry. i dunno.. it's not that i don't think he's good, i think it's just media overkill. i've seen lots of things that shows he's a nice guy, just a regular 'ol 19 yr old with million dollar contracts and an escalade with spinners. hahah. there's just something that irks me. also... they only used 1 or 2 clips (one might have been of him falling.. haha but i couldn't see the face) of paul hamm .. which is good because me makes me a little sick too. hahah.. paul hamm you ruined my olympics :P all in all i still *heart* the olympics mucho.

oh.. and like whoa.. i have 12, yes 12! gmail invitations.. they are just sprouting up out of nowhere. i think almost everyone has one now.. but if you'd like one.. let me know. and if you're nice and i like you.. maybe you can have one. hahah. jk.

boo.. so i blogged last night, but my computer sucks and i lost it. i was hoping there was a slim chance it got published before the error (it's happened before) but no luck this time. oh well it was lame post anyways. maybe it deserved to die :P

yesterday i got this email from my work:
"We have recently been advised that our National campus falls within an area in which there have been confimed cases of West Nile Virus found in birds. West Nile virus is an illness that is transmitte primarily by mosquitoes and is most often chracterized by mild flu-like symptoms, including headache, fever, body aches and, sometimes, swollen lymph nodes or a skin rash.

Local health authorities are investigating the area and are taking preventative measures to reduce the mosquito population. Nissan is working with them and taking additional preventative measures to reduce the risks to our employees. To prevent exposure to the West Nile virus, the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration ("OSHA") recommends that employees working outside apply insect repellent containing the ingredient DEET and wear appropriate clothing (including long sleeves, long pants and socks) when outdoors. Effetive immediately, security personnel in each of the buildings on the National campus will have insect repellent available for use by all personnel working outside on Nissan's campus. Please read the directions on the repellent can carefully before application."

grrreeeaat. good thing i don't work outdoors, but now i'm all freaked, i drive with the windows up. it smelled really bad on the way to work yesterday morning.. i thought it was sewage in the water or something.. but it was SO bad. maybe it was a bunch of dead birds :P i have some rashes on my arms... i've been trying to rationalize it for awhile. it's all hypochondria.

also.. i almost burned my house down yesterday :P whee... i was in the bathroom and i was like.. "hmm it smells like something is on.." but i didn't really think twice because i hadn't turned anything on (smart huh?) later when i went to go get a q-tip i found that my straightener was on, and my travel toiletries bag was on top of it. i must have pushed the bag, which flipped the switch of the straightener. my bag was a little warm, but there was no melting.. thank gosh. and to think i wouldn't have found if it i wasn't getting a q-tip for my medicine for my dry skin. i would have went to bed at the straightener burned down my house. thanks skin rash, you saved my life. :P

so a quick blog before heading off to bed. what jean? it's only midnight.. like 3 hours before you normally go to sleep. really i should have went to be like an hour ago... i've been pretty tired lately. i was falling asleep at work even thought i got like 9 hours of sleep! crazy.

anyhoo.. no bloggity blogs because nothing really excited has been going on. except it's been HOTT!!! it's so hard to fall asleep because it's so hot. during the day it's not too bad because i'm indoors. but yea... upstairs sucks in my house.

friday i was in a pretty good mood because i only worked a half day. it just made my day that much cheerier :P i drove out to go to my interview... still trying to figure all that shiznit out. argh... i hate the real world sometimes. the three day weekend was just relaxing. i didn't do anything big, no crazy going out, no re-doings floors, no sports game.. just chillaxing. saturday i just hung out at home and then went with my family to my sister's. my dad helped put together some tables that my sister got as wedding presents.. well we were supposed to all help, but my dad just did it, and i played double dash on game cube. hahah.. my dad really got into it...it was fun, except i felt bad because he kept losing :P for dinner we were going to go to talay thai for dinner, but my dad got frustrated because he couldn't find parking (hmm.. LA on a saturday night? :P) so we ended just buying groceries and cooking @ my sister's new house. it was interesting. that night my sister and i drove to tustin to stay before going to san diego the next (same) day for a shoot. we didn't get to bed until 2:30am or so and then left for SD @ 5:30am. yikes.

it was a short film for the san diego asian film festival. so i'm excited to see how it turns out and i can say "i helped!" :P it also made me really miss san diego too. i was walking through the ralphs in la jolla village square and i got all nostalgic... remembering all the times i went there and late night times shopping, but seeing a million other college kids there too... oh man.. i am a dork. i was all like "i gotta move back here" but who knows if that's even possible :P i guess i can always retire there. hahah. oh well.. it's only 1.5 hours away right? :P that night we came back (but not after getting california burritos from el cotixan's first!!) and my sister and i were supposed to check out the apple store, but we ended up sleeping too long. i was TIRED... 2 hrs of sleep was not good to drive on, but i survived and then crashed into bed. i was too tired to end up going out later that night.. so sorry guys.

monday i just hung out by myself :P my parents were gone when i woke up (apparently to visit relatives) but they were gone all day.. so i just waddled in my pajamas :P watched tv, went to the gym. i tried to go to dinner with my sister, but she fell asleep @ a friend's house, so she didn't pick up her phone. boo. and today... it was SO hard to go back to work, i SO didn't want to be there.. double boo. anyhow.. it's all very whatever to me and boring to you, so i'll stop now. :P

have a great day!

sorry for the overmelodramataness. :P and yes i would like some cheese with that whine whine whine.

so i don't feel really like blogging, but i feel like working even less.. so here i am :P so far today i've checked my email, read everyone's blogs, and balanced my check book... it's good times. today one of my co-worker's said to me (sarcastically) "you always sound so happy to come in here in the morning." i do.. well do i? or am i just not a morning person. but i think i've seriously begun to really hate this job... i do even less work than i did before. :P

anyhoo.. sorry to have reverted back to the "i hate my job" posts.. i know those get boring, because who doesn't hate their job? well a lot of people, but anyways. last weekend was okay.. a combination of work and going out. friday for the first time in a long while sakura and i went to the "pain in the butt" class @ bally's together. working out and feeling lame because you can't lift flimsy 3 lb weights is always funner when you have a friend. that night i went out with nicole, mike, beth and ryan.. because i left my id at home we didn't get to go to the cool ski lodge themed "best new bar in LA"... sorry.. we ended up at the union cattle co and then the kettle. there was a little puking, but not from me :P although with two drinks and one shot i was pretty toasty, which is good i guess. i almost passed out in the kettle.. i was tired. i avoided my mom's evil eye that night .. so the rest of the weekend i had to be good, so stayed home and worked. although i didn't actually do any cleaning or "good stuff" not going out is okay as well.

monday i didn't go to work and instead i went to my interview for the internship @ star 98.7. sounds pretty exciting right? except i'm not really eligible. i have to find a way to get credit for it, and the people at elco (where i spent the afternoon) are soooo unhelpful. ack. i also found out that they're filming a movie @ elco with adam sandler and chris rock. i wish i could just walk up and be like "can i have a job?" but it's just not that easy. damn. i got a call about a job, that doesn't seem quite as exciting as the internship @ star, but it's paid... so i don't know how i feel. my interview is friday, so maybe i will love it after i see it. i hope so. i mean.. seeing as how the internship might not even be possible anyways.. but i got a mini tour of some of the facilities and they looked so cool.. i'd learn a lot about audio editing (thanks giovanna and comt175.. haha) and the way the job sounded when the lady described it, it seemed so... mundane and interney, even though i wasn't the intern. i know you gotta pay your dues, but i doubt they'd have me washing their dishes at star. i dunno.. i have this awful feeling that i will end up with nothing and be back here in my temp job forever and ever and ever. i tried to figure out numbers for if i got the job and if i moved out.. i don't even know if it'd be possible. how do people do it?! i hate that the world always revolves around money. i really want the star gig... i wish i could do both. i want to do everything, that is my problem. i turned down doing stage managing for the play that i did sm'ing for last year.. because i don't really have the time, and my schedule is still so up in the air. i felt really sad though, i really wanted to do it again. i want the job, i want the internship, i want to do the play, i want to still work at hockey, and i want the gap discount (haha.. without working :P) i want live on my own but without having to pay for anything :P i'm so fuckin greedy.

monday was nice though.. i met kathy up in h.wood @ hollywood and highland and we had a last lunch before her and her friend chris from england go back up north. sad.. it was really fun hanging out and talking with kathy. and now that we don't have that whole cki thing bothering us it was that much better. too bad we didn't get to hang out longer. sucks. but it was fun.. she's going to UCDC in the fall... she's going to have so much fun. (that's something else i wanted to do.. stinking cki.)

tuesday i had lunch with linh from steve's, but we ate it at her house with her loud ass dog that kept barking at me. it scared me a few times, and although i was assured it wouldn't bite, it's intimidating as hell :P that night i was supposed to go to my sister's and maybe later meet up with ryan, nicole, maritza and norma.. but none of that happened because... i got in a fight with my mom. ack.. story of my life. it was dumb, and me my mom just have this huge inability to communicate at all... so i just ended up sleeping all night. my mom likes to complain about how our house is so messy, but a lot of it is stuff that i can't really sort/clean. so if i try to do it, my mom just watches me, standing there, telling me how to do it and then yells at me if i don't do it her way, or if i question her methods. doesn't that seem like a colossal waste of time? if she's gonna do that, she should just do it herself.. i dunno.. but this is why no one wants to clean, because no one can.. but she constantly wants people to help out.. it's a vicious cycle. so for the past few i've been pretty quiet and homebody. for fear of going out, fear of my mom yelling at me more (although she's not really talking to me right now) and just in a general anti-social mood. sorry.. i do feel really lame guys.. i suck. thanks to nicole who has been calling and checking in. mucho appreciated. someone told me that if i get a real job and i still live at home my mom will ease up a bit. i wonder if that's true. i don't know. i feel like such a fuckin failure sometimes.. everyday these words come out of my parents mouth "so.. what kind of work are you looking for.." "you know if you lost weight, you'd be pretty" "so when are you going to find a real job" "when are you going to go to the gym" "you should find a job where you can get health benefits" "you're so fat" i know that all these things are true, but contrary to popular belief.. i don't enjoy hearing it everyday. thanks. growing up sucks.

pretty sky. 

me and my sissy poo after the reception. black and white pictures are always fun 

top left: at the dodgers game! 
topr right: john cho was there for korean american night :P 
bottom left: sakura and my cousin jerry 
bottom right: sukhyung, sara, ryan, beth and benji 

top left: me and nicole in line for the LAST millionaire EVER! 
top right: no more phone a complete stranger calls! :( 
bottom left: saying goodbye to the last millionaire game 
bottom right: cheering ourselves up on tower of terror 

left: jason and bushwalla getting ready to dance!
right: mraz, ian and bill bell guitaring it up

hanging out with kathy and her friend chris at johnny rockets in h.wood .. yum! 

oh my gosh this is so sexy. i want it. so bad. i seriously was going to pee my pants when i saw it. the new imac G5. what? it's just the monitor? nooooo.. it's the whole freaking computer all in there. slim and sexy... it's a little bit of a hard debate between the powerbook and this new imac.. but damn this thing is HOTT. my birthday is in november by the way :P

also looking forward to:
felicity: junior year
dawson's creek - season 4

hell yes. (no wonder i have no money)

i stole this from lisa:

"be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

-dr. seuss


i need to keep that shit more in mind.. but it's hard because sometimes you're just at a loss. and sometimes you just .. i dunno.. you just don't. i don't even know what the fuck i'm talking about right now.

ahh... 17 more minutes until i can get out of this place for a little time of peace and food. rest from my hard morning of not doing my work and applying to jobs and wafting in my bothersome co-worker's awfully pungent (not in a good way) perfume. good stuff. at least someone tries to make me feel better about it.

TooMuchPete: What is up, homegirl?
jeanyah: same ol same ol
jeanyah: slacking off at work
TooMuchPete: AWESOME.
TooMuchPete: You're my hero.
jeanyah: thanks...
jeanyah: we can't all be overacheivers like you
TooMuchPete: No really.
TooMuchPete: I wish I had a job to slack off at. Hahahaha.
jeanyah: someone has to suck to overcompensate for your goodyness.

anyhoo.. as my co-workers come back with the scent of their taco bell pilfering the air to my empty stomach i sit here very sad that the olympics are going to be over tonight. closing ceremonies are always fun, and granted i haven't been really watching the past week since swimming and gymnastics are over (not a huge fan of track & field or wrestling and i don't have cable to see ALL the sports), i am still sad that i'll have to wait another 4 years for a summer olympics. i'm crossing my fingers it's not going to be in NYC in 2012 just because they rejected me from that internship. hah. i'm such a bastard. but it would be cool to go to.. probably crowded as fuck and impossible to get tickets for.. but maybe cool if you could get in. hmm.. how about a trip to beijing? but with the olympics ending it will be back to bad (but so delightful) soap operas, new episodes of sitcoms and i can get back to tivo'ing all my regular shows. i am excited for one tree hill, and just saw a commercial for a new WB show (probably more crap that i'll love) "the mountain" starring Oliver Hudson (Eddie from Dawson's Creek)... philly will LOVE that. hahah. it'll be another young adult angst show, but this time set in a cabin resortish area (hence.. the mountain). i CAN'T wait :P

i applied to a few jobs today, and a few unpaid internships... i may not even qualify because you need to go to school and get credit. i applied to this sales job that my sister told me to apply to, and it's already been filled. then take it off your website!! :P i dunno.. it's a slow morning, a slow day, SO glad that it is friday.

so my sister is leaving for taiwan again on saturday. boo. but she'll come back for her 10 year high school reunion (yay CAMS) so she won't be gone for too long. but it still makes me sad. i missed out on dinner with the the parents, sister and bro&sis in law because i was @ the gap. i maybe could have met up with them afterwards, but instead sakura and i went to long beach to visit ms. kathy ha who was down in so cal showing her friend visiting from england around the wonderness that is california :) it was weird going out after i got off work at 10pm, when i felt like i should be going home. when i picked sakura up, i totally felt like we were sneaking out or something. haha. we drove to long beach and got a little lost because kathy was lame and didn't know anything around her. we drove by the street we were supposed to turn on because we told kathy we were by the wendy's and borders, and she didn't know where we were, when really, we were like half a block away. so thus i drove for a few more minutes until we hit the freeway again, one exit south, and got back on, drove north and the went back to the exact same place we were. hah. story of my life huh? yea yea.. shut up you jerks.. i know you all are thinking.. "jean that's not new, you SUCK at directions." anyways bitches. we hung out in kathy's brother's apt, and just chatted about disneyland and other stuff they had done. her friend from england was really fun, and sakura and i laughed a lot. apparently the funnest thing he's done (after going to hooters of course) is going to albertson's because he saw lucky charms and mountain dew which they banned in england, so he has been eating them non-stop here. he saw an "escalade" which he was excited because all the cars in england are small i suppose, but when he told us sakura and i thought he said "escalator" - where a 5 minute conversation ensued with us perplexed that they didn't have escalators in england. i was very excited because he had seen the hogwarts express and harry potter being filmed :) how dreamy it would be a production assistant on that movie. *love*

anyhoo.. it is 10 minutes past the time i wanted to leave so it is now time to go. i think i'm going to get the "souper combo" a chicken wrap and clam chowder combo from red robin. sounds yummy to me. (although i should curb my spending habits.. maybe tomorrow.)

short updates.... pictures to come later. i know how you love those :P

friday went to disneyland with nicole for a few hours to catch the last EVER "who wants to be a millionaire play it" game. sadness. saw a girl from my high school which i chose to avoid.. i dunno.. it would have been weird :P the first girl in the hot seat was from canada and the host picked some random guy outta the audience to "set her up with" but ended up being from the same area-ish and the same age. nicole says, "she's so lucky, she gets pins AND a boyfriend." disney magic.

that night drove to san diego to the belly up for the tristan, bushwalla, jason mraz show. due to some retardedness, lateness and general crappiness on the part of stupid friends i missed tristan's opening act. i was bummed... and i didn't get to see her and mraz sing "shy that way." double boo. i know some of my friends don't like it, but i personally LOVE that stuff... i also love *nsync and sometimes sing along to hilary duff. i rule. anyways. i got into san diego and to the belly up as tristan was singing, but i had to wait for kristen to get here, and she got really lost. and because i'm a good friend/nice person/schmuck/loser i waited outside on the phone, walked down to the corner and waited to spot her car. consequently missing tristan's set. watch bushwalla, got a drinked spilled on me, moved for jason's set, sat on the side. fun yet boring - maybe i was tired... i dunno.. can't really explain... but it was a good time. as i was walking out i got this huge wash of "i really miss san diego" i don't know what it was because i was just walking out of some bar... but it seemed so different. i dunno. drove home, swerving a few times, but made it home safe and sound. yay.

worked all weekend, gap, hockey, blah blah blah.

went swimming for a little bit at the dinky pool @ bally's. i felt i was turning more than swimming. and although the lane says "fast lap swim" the people who may think they are fast are slow, and in the next lane over are a couple making out, so can't swim there. i don't mind it too much, but i just felt bad that the people would stop and be like "go ahead" like i was some punk ass kid.

i got a call for an internship yesterday. i'm considering chucking my temp job gives me a steady check every week for unpaid grunt work that is a killer commute. everyone has to pay their dues, i'm wondering if this is my time. it's not exactly in the perfect field that i want, but similar... i wonder if that is good enough. a stick in the mud is that i need to be in school and get credit for it, i don't know how stickler they will be about it, but i called el camino to ask about it - and boy are they useless. i was thinking about going home right now and calling that guy back. when i talked to him yesterday i was confused and probably sounded pretty stupid. i'm sure he's already thrown my resume away... just like that NYC2012 guy. fuckers. why doesn't someone just want to hire me already? is working for free or getting a bs job just to earn a living and "be responsible" the way to go?

tried to go ice skating yesterday, but got there too late.. boo. next time. sat around and talked with beth and haphazardly watched the games going on, the referees :P and talked to a guy who's in the chocolate business. i asked him if he wanted to hire me. hah. beth should be a sports commentator - after a guy swings and misses "boy he feels stupid now."

my grandfather (mom's side) is in the hospital. i guess he fell. i don't know what happened really... i didn't want to probe my mom too much. i don't know if he broke anything, but my mom was complaining about how there is no one who takes care of him, he doesn't eat enough, doesn't eat right, isn't healthy.. etc etc. she doesn't like my step-grandmother all that much, and thus i think she is a flake and kind of evil as well. once she ran out and left my grandfather alone for a few days and no one could find her. my grandfather is pretty feeble, can't really do anything and pretty much just sits and watches tv. i've never been that close to him, so i feel more anguish for my mom than for myself. this is something else she doesn't need on top of all the other stresses and unhappiness in her life. but it'll be sad if the worst happens and i will also have no grandfather's left. sure.. it'll always happen eventually, but doesn't mean i can't be sad about it. my mom is really worried and had that whole "breaking voice" when she was telling me. i don't know what is better.. to live a feeble life or to go in peace. i recently found out on my last trip to taiwan that my other grandfather suffered from alzheimer's. so it makes more sense to me how he got sick (i think pneumonia) and died so suddenly. because it wasn't sudden.. it was just something i never knew. he would go out and walk around taipei and get really lost. he got in a taxi once and the taxi driver tried to ask him where to go, but my grandpa was unable to tell him. he couldn't remember where he lived. while we were walking back my dad walked right past the front door and kept walking half a block. maybe he just wasn't paying attention, or what if he'll fall to the same fate? there is a typhoon in taiwan right now. my sister is also going back there soon.

i had in-n-out for lunch today. i can feel my arteries clogging up and the heart attack coming on. fab.

"you call that short?" oops.. sorry.

here's a somewhat happier post (but very non-original) post for y'all.. because i REALLY don't feel like working and this gives me something else to do besides pete's addicting games.

so here are some excerpts from my friend maurene's xanga that i really really enjoyed. maurene is really cool and super funny, smart, creative and a great writer. we bonded over our sound project where we spent many a late late night fidgeting with pro-tools, sneaking in food, getting dirty looks from the lady @ OVT and talking trash about everyone else in our class and how we were better than them.. hahahh. "beat this assholes." maurene is great.

"again: Olympics=<3
i was jumping up and down in my living room in this silent frenzy while watching the men's relay last night.

there is something that is just pure goodness about the summer olympics. the winter olympics are so lame compared to the hugeness and overall spectacularness of summer sports. it's like a "pretend' olympics compared to the shit that goes down in the summer.

chris and i actually talked for an hour last night about the olympics. the topic of discussion: is it horrible not to cheer for a US team?

NO! i am definitely not cheering on our basketball. but yeah my heart automatically goes to US for everything else. swimming? pshyeah...michael phelps hello! gymnastics? yeah those poor suburban girls whose lives are eating disorders and doing cartwheels all the livelong day, i want them to win also. chris was all cheering on australia during the relay which i do not approve of, but hey, he likes the "thorpedo" (which is the most embarrassing nickname ever). i have a soft spot for the chinese girls during gymnastics too, they are just so little. and i have to say i love the romanians, they're so damn good.

see? you can cheer on other countries and still the <3 the u.s.a. it's not fucking polarized, right chris? right?"

"san diego rules.

granted, i lived in la jolla for three out of the five years...but it ruled nonetheless. when i first moved down i couldn't understand the cleanliness. like, the sky is pure blue every single f-in day. it could be freezing, but it was freezing in a norman rockwell picturesque way. because you see, i am from this place called Los Angeles. and even on the most temperate day, the sky has a grayish pallor to it. and it is a damn dirty city when it wants to be. so imagine my surprise when i go to school in this beautiful, sprawled-out campus full of tan kids wearing flip-flops. ok, so those kids? i didn't really like them...but still i loved ucsd. the campus was the prettiest campus ever and i would be so damn grateful just to be walking around. most importantly i guess i loved the friends i made there. "

"anyways, it sums up alot of my feelings towards LA and my immense love/loathing for it. (p.s. you are only allowed to loathe LA if you were born and raised. shut up if you've lived there for a year and you complain about it--just move the fuck out. shut up if you've visited sunset 3 times in your life and think it's seedy. shut up if you're from the east coast and think it is attempting to compete with new york, puhleeze)."

i hope she doesn't mind, cuz she rocks.

itsuckshowsomepeoplearesoimmatureandtheydontlikehow
thingsdontagreewiththemandthingsdontgotheirwayand
theypoutuntiltheygetituntileveryoneelsefeelssorryfor
themandyouarethebadguythatsometimestheyareso
unreasonableandoverextremeandoverdramaticize
everythingthatyoujustwantthemtogoawayalreadybutthey
neverwillbecausetheyarestubbornandtheywilljustdowhat
theywantregardlessofanyoneelseitssolameitsucksthatit
stillworksandpeoplealwaysappeasethembecausetheyare
theoneswhoneedtakingcareofwhethertheydeserveitornot
andthentheymakeyoufeellikeshitbutimsuretheydontgivea
fuckitsucksandihatehateHATEit.

oh yea... so i burned like 70 of my anytime minutes on my cell on friday trying to do too many things and getting a ton of 30 second phone calls and other phone calls being 3 minutes and 2 seconds.. so i have like 15 minutes to last me the next 7 days (2 of which are weekends, which helps a little). i'm not really going to picking my phone up much before 8pm.. so that sucks. i'm a little worried about tomorrow when i'm going to try to meet up with people... ack.. i hope it's okay.. maybe i'll have to use the power of text messages tomorrow. blech.. i hate when i do this.

ooh..unless you are part of the "in network" then we can talk all live long day :P join in!

so i've been pretty pooped for awhile.. and today i shouldn't be. i've been falling asleep at work this week, and yesterday was the worst... so when i went home i took a "nap." my nap lasted from 6pm-ish (had to watch my tivo'ed olympics first :P) and ended at 7am this morning. crazy huh?! i woke up around 1am and 4am, but really had no difficulty going back to sleep. i just feel bad because i think my dad wanted to "hang out" or something. and although i'm home, me sleeping is just as bad as me going out.. who knows. i'm still a little tired.. but pretty rested up.

why am i so tired? because i spent forever last week doing stuff for my sister's wedding reception. it was way fun though. last week i was barely home though.. and the mess in my room grew and grew... it's pretty insane.. i really need to clean. who knows what's growing under all of my clothes.. ack! i cleaned it a little, but it just came back with a vengeance. monday i went to my sisters, tuesday i worked, wednesday was "sick" from work... went to help my sister buy flowers and spent a lot of time editing. yikes.. i think i stayed until 2 or 3 in the morning. thursday - work and that night my cousin (and her new baby!), aunt and grandma came in, so we all met at cheesecake factory in marina del rey for dinner. it was good times, although there was some arguing earlier in the night and i flung my passenger door open in anger and a passing car hit it. boo.. i don't know who's fault it was.. but our car is okay and it scraped and dented the side front part of the guy's rental car. hmm.. it was just a bad bad day.

friday i had an interview.. it was okay.. seemed really vague and it was a job i wasn't really interested in.. so who knows. it's an interesting story though because i have weird ties to the company, so i've been hearing things about how i don't necessarily want to be there anyways. afterwards i went to walmart in cerritos. i guess walmart is okay, not necessarily worth a drive out to cerritos just to go there. it was handy though and i picked up a lot of things i needed for the wedding :) i think they're building one around torrance somewhere.. and last time i went back to sd they built one right by my old apartment. so if it was there earlier.. i might have fallen in love with walmart like beth did.. but i'm still a target girl :P although those two stores are pretty different. ate lunch at home, went to my sister's after having lunch with my cousin, edited the wedding video and watched my sister and jeff-gu stress over the seating chart. nicole came over later - after enduring horrid traffic - and then we went to go buy some flowers and supplies and we came back and got to work. nicole is PRO. she whips up flowers so fast.. arranging, taping, de-leaving..

she's AWESOME. she made boutineres and the centerpiece for the sweetheart's table and made my sister's bouquet. amazing i tell you.. amazing! we took a break (which i was hoping to only be an hour.. but lasted two or three) and went to ryan's birthday celebration at the wood ranch bbq @ the grove.

it was pretty yummy (a little pricey) but good, and the company was great, and we even got to watch opening ceremonies there. yay! our waiter was really really funny -

ryan: is there a way i could get some of those onion strings on top of my steak?
waiter: if you had saved some you could have

afterwards me and nicole came back and i put her back to the slave labor :P she got done around 1am and went home and i stayed until like 6am and went home to nap. i was supposed to come back on saturday at like 9am, but didn't make it until 10:30am or so. drove up to my sisters, bought two cases of flowers from trader joe's and finished up editing the video. i made two versions of the second video because i didn't really like it much and wasn't sure which one was less sucky - and was kind of too tired to make something really spectacular (sorry joan).. so i let my sister decide and then tightened some other stuff. in the end we went with the "jessica simpson" version.. haha.. which was okay because i really like that song.. as did my sister.. and so does sakura. we were giggling that night when it came on and nicole goes "is this mandy moore?" in disgust. haha.. funny beacuse i almost put mandy moore in there too :P i called sakura to go pick up some stuff for me to save some time because i was already running really behind.. THANKS SAKURA and finally drove back home to pick up my stuff that i needed and drove back to LA with sakura, my cousins and to pick up beth for more of the slave labor.

we headed over to the skirball and unloaded the flowers, baskets, buckets, lanterns, candles and various other tools from the cars. started placing the centerpieces on the tables, cutting the flowers, hanging the poster pictures... it sounds so easy as i type it out, but there was a lot of work that goes into it. i think the hardest part was cutting and arranging the flowers... THANKS TO BETH AND SAKURA for doing it... you guys are the best too. and they did it so well and i knew i wouldn't have to worry about anything :) i just felt bad because i hadn't really helped them much.. so i hope they didn't mind. they did an awesome job... my sister thought it was going to look all ghetto compared to the taiwan wedding, but it was still really nice :) i finally went to go get ready in these rooms they have underneath the main area... the rooms were really nice too, couches, bathrooms, showers... i could have stayed there for awhile. haha. beth, nicole and sakura helped me do my hair too.. sorry i was so fussy. haha.. but in the end it was nice. and then they went to go decorate the cake too.. so pretty!!! sucks though that we missed out on cocktail and appetizers :( i hope everyone else enjoyed it though!

the bridal party took pictures and we all got introduced.. it was funny having the dj call out our names as we walked in.. i felt like i should wave or something... it was strange :P like a basketball game or something. then we started eating and sakura, nicole, beth and i snuck over to the photobooth because it was empty (cuz everyone was eating) and we took a bunch of pictures (round 1), they showed the first video - which everyone seemed to enjoy.. so i'm glad :) dinner was yummy, they showed the other video, which people clapped again for. i thought it seemed a little short.. but i wasn't really sure what else i could put in without making certain parts too long or too boring, but my sister thought it was good, so that's what matters right?

we had yummy dessert :), got our obligated drink from the open bar and then went on to dance and have rounds 2 and 3 and the photo booth :) until it broke :( sadness... i swear it wasn't us :P we cleaned up and afterwards i went to denny's with the girls. we wanted to hang out - but once we got there i think we all realized we weren't that hungry and were really tired. hahaha, but it was still fun :) thanks girls.. i'm SO happy that you came and i had a REALLY good time because of you. it wasn't just me and my relatives and my sister's friends. and THANKS so much for all your help... you girls are the greatest!! :)

sunday morning i woke up early (despite my work being pushed back) to have breakfast with relatives, then work all afternoon, and then i came back and had dinner with my relatives again at this japanese restaurant in rolling hills called "iccho." it's pretty good.. check it out :) here's a random picture from work that i thought was cute:

monday i took my cousin to a dodgers game because he really likes baseball and i'm lucky that i have friends who also like baseball - or will just come to hang out :) sampled some of the food in the park, found out where the good hot dogs are (too late though :P) and ran around the park a little bit. me and sakura didn't get to go shopping, but she already got me a penny last time she went, so i was okay with that. i wasn't okay with the dodgers losing (boo) but what can i do. i think my cousin had a good time, so that's good. i hope it made up for the whole month he sat at home bored during the daytime. i got out of the parking lot pretty fast (5 minutes) and i got home just as beth was leaving the park.. haha.. mad skillz.

tuesday i worked and wednesday i slept. tonight i have work and friday is jason mraz... hell yes. pretty eventful huh? i think me and nicole are also going to hit up california adventures before they close "who wants to be a millionaire" sad huh? :( i'm definitely going to miss it, they needed to shows after 5pm. but yea.. disneyland and then mraz in SD. i'm SO excited.. it'll be mraz, bushwalla, and tristan ... almost like old times - but no philly :( but it's going to be GOOD. i may have an extra ticket.. anyone want to make the drive down with me? you won't regret it.

so i'm super bummed out right now... i just called to follow up with this nissan job that i applied for. but they said that they're only doing internal recruiting for this position. i was really excited about this job.. and i thought "hey.. i'm internal.. i come and work here everyday" but yet i'm not. so the fact that i have a nissan email address i'm on their intranet - and can see all the postings does me no good. boo. i know that i shouldn't get my hopes up, and i don't really, but it still sucks to never be good enough :(

i have an interview tomorrow but i am screwed because i can't find the paper that i wrote all the information on. SUCKS. i have been home probably like 5 hours this week (aside from sleeping) because i've been editing my sister's videos. not that i regret that.. but it just makes things more complicated when i'm trying to find my shit.