so i feel pretty cruddy right now. despite the fact that i've slept alll day. i hope that it's not supreme jet lag, but rather the drugs. everyone keeps asking me if i have a fever and i think it's because they're worried that i have SARS. haha. great. i hope i feel better for tomorrow (the funeral) and that i'm not all wriggly and fussy like i've been most of today... which is why i've been sleeping it all away. can't exactly do that tomorrow.

is the weather in california still gorgeous? the day i left it was soo hot, perfect beach weather... not that i really ever go to the beach.. haha.. i just kind of like to go out and play. it would have been a good weekend for disneyland :P which i think i'm planning to go to the day after i come back.. if it's not blocked out.. i'll have to check. who wants to come with?

okay.. so sorry this post sucks.. i feel so drab... maybe it's time to go back to bed.

so i am here in Taiwan. i made it safe and sound.. although i do think that i'm coming down with something. ugh.. i don't know if it was from the plane or just around - but i'm starting to get the sniffles and have a little bit of a sore throat. yuck. it's not as cold as i thought it'd be. i'm glad that it's not sweltering hot.. but it's not like snow mountain cold. it's just a little chilly - kind of like how so cal was lately. actually i think that freeze wave was actually colder than this. i spent last night at my grandmother's in taipei and today took the train down to dou lieu where my grandfather's house is. the whole coffin in freezer thing wasn't as bad as i had anticipated. it's a giant tent kind of thing, and it's shielded from everything and decorated pretty well. there's a little shrine with offerings and everything. i haven't seen the coffin part yet.. i don't know if i'm "allowed" to. so many customs and all of that, i just learned today that there's a part of the funeral that i'm not allowed to watch. and my sister isn't coming because it's bad luck.. to her or from her i'm not so sure.. haha.. but i keep telling her that she's bad luck :P

i don't think maurene read this, but she has a friend who is teaching english in taiwan. i kind of want to contact her and go meet up with her. is that weird? i dunno.. i just wanted to say hi. haha. i might go the night market near my grandfather's house later on. maybe have some shaved ice. yum. buy some fake bags and other random crap. any requests? :) i'm already on a mission for a hello kitty umbrella. heheh. i'm sorry i couldn't go to the adopt-a-family get together beth (and others)!! i hope you guys had fun with the good-doing. but i gotta get going, my mom wants to use the phone, plus it also costs money to be on the internet. yikes. remember when we used to have to count our internet minutes.. sooooo long ago :P

so i found out today that getting boys to like you are a lot like job interviews. you have to be really self confident with a "can do" attitude, you can't ever say anything bad about yourself.. it's that whole "turn negative into positives" thing, and especially don't put yourself down. and they both need to be the "right fit" for you. and you may twist, contort, train or whatever yourself to try to fit in the job or the boy.. but maybe it just doesn't end up working out. what else is there? ... but yea.. so ridiculous conversations, "pants theories" and all of this advice and i come out that it's essentially the same thing. selling yourself to an employer or to a member of the opposite sex. and also .. if they really want you - they will go after you. they will do what they have to do to date/hire you. otherwise.. "they're just not that into you"

oh how i will grow to hate those six words. (as if anyone ever liked them right? well someone did i guess :P) sure .. maybe they're supposed to be empowering or something. but really.. they kind of make me sad.. and it's like "the rules" or whatever.. i just don't get it. hahah.. maybe THAT is my problem. with jobs, with boys, with life. and don't worry.. this isn't a pity party blog. but i'm rather amused with it. and essentially.. i think everyone knows what they "should" do. but it's hard to actually do it. and this is why it's amusing. because when i am nervous - this bout of verbal diarrhea tends to arise, or complete malfunction.. where the only thing i can utter is "yea.." or "oh" or "that's good." mm. yea.. my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. that's right.

blech. wow. i think some people are waking up right now to go to work. i have yet to go to sleep. i'm still doing random stuff (not packing) andworking on stuff for my sister. i just feel like i should get it done. i can decide what to pack since i brought my laundry here... so i'm not TOTALLY procrastinating. i was supposed to wake up early - but of course. i did not. yea yea yea. be quiet.

apparently jason mraz played after an afternoon at his little benefit showcase thing. aww... i bet it was good. oh well. i had fun, went shopping with sakura, had dinner, and then hung out with beth a little bit afterwards. i was supposed to clean and pack and what not.. but i was tired so i put it off until this morning. today i did random stuff, laundry, sorting stuff, stuff for my play... which was my last one tonight :( next week is the last show and i won't be there. hah.. the person who is filling in is a "professional stage manager" hah.. oh what a drastic difference. but it's not hard and i didn't do a hideous job, and mandy and jeremy take care of most of the stuf anyways.. so they won't notice TOO much of a difference. i printed and mounted these production stills and i think they came out quite nicely. i was proud of myself. i drove from ucla-ish area to hollywood today.. traffic bites. argh. but it was mostly okay - except for the part where i almost rear-ended someone. i just spaced out for a bit, looking at a billboard or something and i guess i didn't realized traffic had stopped. i wasn't going very fast.. 30 or 40 maybe.. i was strolling, but i guess that's fast compared to a stop. so yea.. slammed on my brakes, screeching tires, stuff flying foward - but no accident.. so i am blessed for that. *phew*.. thank you to whoever saved me.

kristen and benji came tonight! yay!! thanks guys! afterwards was dinner/dessert at cat & fiddle with some of the cast and a final goodbye :) (plus the conversation as mentioned above :P) i'm sad that there are things that i can't be here for - the last show, my ex-work's potluck (those extra weeks of work i am not sad about), beth's adopt a family "party", benji's going away party, days of disneyland to go to before it's blocked out. sorry that i can't be at those things. i do wish i could! my manager (not the big boss) at my work said he's really going to miss me, and i could tell he meant it. and it made me feel good :) i am.... a little apprehensive about this funeral. and i hope it's not too bad.. there'll be lots of traditions and customs and what not. and not just chinese ones, but also ones specific to my small town my grandfather lived in. you know that they kept the body outside his apartment (in a coffin in a freezer) for display for a month, and each of his children have to spend 24 hours with it, to make sure it's okay, no one messes with it, and i think lighting incense. interesting huh? i'm supposed to be wearing all white (pants, shoes, shirt) as a grandchild (i think). do you know how hard it is to find white pants?! and i don't even know if the ones i got were okay. but yea. i hope my mom will be okay - but she is free from other stresses in her life, so she doesn't have to worry about that.

okay now i am just babbling to be procrastinative. this blog is longer than i had intended. and i don't really want to drive home right now. but i also don't to get stuck in morning traffic. argh.. it may have already even started. who who who knows... but i still have to pack! yikes!

have fun and stay safe kids! be good.

this lady at my work started blasting jason mraz from her computer.. i think the sold out album (mp3's that she ripped from my cd). can i just say how much i love that album. how much i love these songs? especially since i haven't heard them in awhile. *sigh* it makes me sad that i'm not going to that benefit thing tonight.. but i don't have the time to waste although i bet the concert would be good. i had a ticket available, but i also wouldn't want to go by myself. i wonder what he's going to play. i wonder how many 13 year old girls are going there in skanky skirts despite that that it's below 50 outside. i hope despite all the bitching and moaning jon is doing that he goes and tapes it. thanks man. speaking of which i need to load up my ipod before i leave. see! too much to do. i wish i could be doing it now. but i'm here at work.. bored. hoping i don't get in trouble for my flagrant use of "unauthorized" use of the internet. oh well.. what are they going to do? fire me? hah. :P if they haven't said anything today the reports and red flags won't go up until after a few days later... and then i will be goooone. besides.. it's not like i'm looking at porn :)

oh jason mraz.... <3

I bare my windowed self untamed and untrained
Dreams that hardly touch our complexions truest faults
If room enough for both my drowsy spirit shall fall
Bold waves tumble to the season of my heart
Where you have offended my faith and my trust
Until all is lost into the beauty of the day

But there's something in the way you laugh
That makes me feel like a child
Aspects of life they confuse me
You and your thesis amuse me

After and afternoon with you
And your rich brown eyes
Your lips and dark hair
Elbows and exposed knees tossing toward the ceiling
After an afternoon

Face to palm
Tear to tear
Mouth to tongue
Heart to ground
I am in love
-after an afternoon

suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. last night during my semi-insomnia i discovered the coveted my so called life dvd available again on amazon.com. so i don't know if it was a bastardly trick.. but i held off on ordering it because i wasn't sure if my sister wanted the new one, if she wanted it shipped 1-day so i could take it back to taiwan for her, if she was okay with the used one for half the price. and i thought that 8 or so hours wouldn't make a difference. well apparently it has because i can no longer purchase it. argh! i got so far as "place order" and when i placed my order - no dice. i wonder now if i had just ordered it at 3am last night would i have gotten it, or would i have gotten the same result. if my reluctantness caused my demise in the hunt for these dvd's or what. i hate when i just let stuff slip through my fingers. but it always seems to happen that way. boooooo.

why i am still up.. i have no idea. i said i was going to sleep like 4 hours ago.. and then i did some crap (all not really productive of course) and now i am here. thinking about too much random crap.

i fuckin hate fuckin flakers. if you don't want to do something - then just say so. don't agree, flake and not even return calls.. i think that's so rude. i think that's why i always try to over-compensate and be extra nice because i hate this feeling. but then i just look like a loser since everyone is on par with the level of assholes that has become standard.

people need to friggin think sometimes.

i need to stop thinking sometimes.

arRrRrRgh.

my stomach is grrrrrowling even though i've eaten. i think it's digesting.. but it's loud..... maybe i'm coming down with acid reflux. har har har.. lame joke way late.

anyhoo.. 32 more minutes until i'm outta here for the day and then tomorrow is my last day at work. yay! and boo... yay because no more lame hours, lame rules about "proper use" and needing to wake up to just want to go back to sleep at work. boo because i will miss the people, and.. hmm. maybe that's all i'll miss. and the easy money, low stress work.. but the money will be coming in again .. as for low stress.. it shouldn't be too bad :) and i'm keeping my badge (shh..) i'm just hoping i don't royally screw things up - and i'm under-estimating myself and questioning my abilities just because i'm like that. i have been assured that i will do well and that i can do it.. so... i just gotta believe :P (haha.. remember that old ghost-writer episode where lenni did that music video called "you gotta believe") yeah.. i'm a dork. so what? i know someone out there knows what i'm talking about!

this week has been fun.. probably too much fun that i'm supposed to be having. i gotta do a bunch of stuff in the next few days before i leave. pack, wash clothes, clean up, record tv on to dvd, find the cordless phone, ooh..where did i put my passport? i really wanted to send out christmas cards before i left.. i dunno if i'll be able to. oh and maybe wrap a few christmas gifts :P anywys.. now i'm just babbling to myself.

it's time to go!! i was going to update more.. but it'll have to wait. whoooo hoo. well i can't be too happy my mom is leaving for taiwan today (again.) but i will see her again soon of course. hey.. anyone know where i can find white pants?

pictures from my birthday!

courtesy of erika's myspace :)

what you are
i am a slam-dancing sea captain who loves to mount samurais.

find out what you are and let me know! :)

so i don't have to be all hateful of nicole anymore, because i have my very own job!!! yaaaaaay!! i am a loser no more (well at least in the job aspect) and i feel good because i didn't have to compromise and settle for a job just to "have a job." after interviewing twice and not getting the job, while i wasn't a "good fit for that position" my interviewer still really liked me and thought i was a "good fit for the company." that's good right?! :) apparently so because i have a job :) and although my job isn't uber "glamorous" it is a step in the right direction and at a place that is good for my eventual superstar career :) they do graphics for movies, commercials, music videos, games.. etc etc... i do like the place, and the people i have met so far and there is always rooms for advancement.. which apparently is what everything is about. so while this message sounds totally canned i am very very VERY excited :) if i owe you anything or you want anything from me today is the day to ask because i will be more likely to say yes. i am in a good mood.

digital domain here i come :)

happy birthday pete and carol!!

yay! i hope you celebrate in happy fashion :)

drama drama drama.

yuk… there is mad drama with my mom’s work and her “leave of absence.” the funeral’s not until next month, so i don’t know what’s gonna go on. and i feel so bad because i feel so helpless, and while my mom’s bosses are being jerkfaces, they’re not doing anything illegal… so you can’t do anything about it. grr.

honestly.. who expects their employees to miss their parent’s funeral, and like if they’re not respecting customs and traditions of another culture… does that count as discrimination?

*sigh*

other than that.. this week has been okay. work on tuesday, dinner with dad and family friends on wednesday, and last night was the play. oh i lied.. this week hasn’t been okay.. because i’m going to die when my mom comes back. i don’t know who reads this journal, so i can’t spill the details because i don’t want to incriminate myself. but basically i swore up and down something wouldn’t happen that my mom wanted to prevent, and it happened.. so she’s going to be like “i told you so” and then kill me.

afterwards i met up with benji at henessey’s for free food the thursday the week of your birthday. yay! whoever says birthday’s aren’t a big deal.. i say that’s bullshit.. or you’re missing out. birthdays are the best… having a reason to celebrate is never a bad thing. we shouldn't lose that excitement about birthdays as we grow older :)

my meal was okay.. i didn’t know exactly what to get, and although the waitress said certain items were really good, she later told us that she’d never actually had them.. umm. okay. she had my steak cooked medium well instead of medium like i wanted it, so it was a little gross :P but dessert definitely made up for it. mmm.. we got the irish doughnuts.. they are like the best thing ever. it sounds a little gross.. but it’s amazing. deep fried twinkies, with vanilla ice cream and then chocolate and raspberry sauces. ooh yea.. even andy the professional cook said it was good. damn.. i should have taken a picture of it! oh well.. i’m sure i’ll be back. to top it off beth, ryan and andy came to hang out for a little bit and beth brought me the CUTEST birthday cookies. i'd have a picture up, but my computer is busted. sucks. but they’re cute and yummy.. beth is amazing.. thanks chica! so it was a good pre-birthday celebration :) i had so much fun.. and that’s why birthday’s are great.

another thing that’s great.. is daphne’s greek café. seriously.. amazing. i’ve been obsessed ever since carlene’s birthday party. and then beth, benji and i went there for lunch one day.. and apparently she’s now obsessed too. i signed up for their e-club and immediately got a free coupon for their zestas appetizer. yummerific. plus i get a buy one get one free coupon for it being my birthday. not too shabby :P

i think we’re doing another pre-birthday dinner since my “aunt” isn’t going to be in town tomorrow, she wanted to go out tonight. i think i want her and her hubby to try the stinking rose… drastically different from their restaurants in india eh? (he was amazed by souplantation :P) i had wanted to take my mom and dad there because they’ve never been.. and i think my mom could find something good there. but this is good too. and then lunch with my dad and sister tomorrow (probably el paso cuz you get a free meal too!) .. i am such a sucker for free stuff. then maybe some shopping.. or disneyland? and then dave & buster’s tomorrow night. yay!! i *heart* birthdays!! OH… and i got cards from buttryn and phillicita in the mail. THANKS SO MUCH GUYS!!! i really enjoyed the cards. kathryn’s was hilarious. it was about cake corners and how you get to keep them to yourself because it’s your birthday. it sounds lame as i type it out.. but it’s funny as hell on the card with the old woman “saying” it. philly's was very sweet.. but the faces on them were a little scary :P you guys are awesome.. thanks for making me feel special :)

so i realized that the traffic ticket is my birthday present from the driving gods. last year it was the accident, and lately i had been thinking about how i hope i didn't get into an accident again this time of year, but i think that this year it's the ticket. blech. i was looking at the paper work today, and i'm supposed to respond within 10 days with who was really driving the car (because the ticket came to my mom since the car is registered in her name). except you're supposed to sign it, and send a copy of your driver's license (i guess to identify that it's really not you)... umm. my mom's in taiwan though.. i don't know how i'm supposed to do that. so i guess i'll just have to call tomorrow and try to ask them.

something i just thought about ... what if your twin was driving the car? hahah

i wish i wasn't so chickenshit sometimes. :P

it's going to be a hit song already.. i can tell :P this is a poem britney wrote about her honeymoon. it's cute.. like kindergarten cute. not like i should talk, because i'm sure any poems i write sound like this (i'm big on rhyming).. but really? i can't believe people paid money for this.

"A honeymoon at last, to get away from it all
My assistant Fe gave me the call.

I remember it well, as she was smilin'
She said it was called Turtle Island.

I packed my bags light and quick,
Then grabbed my pink dress & favorite lipstick.

We hopped on a plane and took our flight
I slept really well, all through the night.

As we arrive, I turn and look out the door,
People are greeting us right at the shore.

A meal, a shower and some ice cream
Then I threw my man down, you know what I mean!

Magical nights filled with stars
Silence is golden, no running cars.

Private dinners, romantic fires
Little piece of heaven, whatever your heart desires.

Friendly "hellos" and never goodbyes
When you're having fun, oh, how time flies!

As we sit and prepare to make our part
I thank you, Turtle Island, with all my heart!"

i feel very plain today... i looked in the mirror while i was washing my hands - and my face seemed so pale and plain. i normally don't wear make up anyways, but today i just felt so colorless. it was weird. add how i just let my hair air dry - so it's waving and drying funkily and adds to my drabness. i was watching america's next top model last week and there commenting about anne, and about how she didn't "care about her appearance" because it was just something she threw together and there was a stain on her shirt.. although i thought her skirt was really cute. but anyways, a lot of times i feel like this.. like i just don't care.. and maybe i should. maybe i should take the time to do my hair everyday, put makeup on, iron my clothes or something. who knows. but i was also telling someone at work that it almost seems as if i'd rather go from okay to good rather than from good to bad. like if i wore makeup and did my hair everyday (which would be a miracle if i could get my lazy ass out of bed to do that) - the days i didn't, people would be like "man what ate her up"... then you become a slave to all of that. i know girls who won't leave the house (doesn't matter where they're going) without their hair and makeup done. i saw this lady at the gym putting on mascara in the locker room. doesn't that shit sting your eyes when you sweat? maybe it was the waterproof kind.. but whatever.

yesterday i was feeling very ghetto. the hem is coming out of my wool jacket. and originally i taped the string, hoping it wouldn't pull out anymore and was going to ask my mom to fix it. but i forgot, and now she's gone again and it was becoming really bad and i discovered it while at work. the fold of my jacket was coming undone and i didn't want to lose it, so i ... stapled my jacket. GHETTO. i remember when that used to be the "cool" thing to do in middle school or high school.. everyone would staple their jeans. yea.. didn't look so hot on my jacket. guess i can't wear that for awhile.

sunday i went to an awards thing for my sister. it was really a fundraiser type thing, but they were giving her company an award for contributing to the efforts of asian americans and film. my sister bought our tickets, and we got little puff pastries for our $35 ticket. :P it was fun cheering for her what not. there was this "digital slam" where they showed a bunch of 30 second shorts that people did incorporating different elements. some of them were pretty clever, other ones.. i just didn't get. my dad said that i could do better than that, i can't say that i disagreed. oh well. while my sister and i have the same interest, i think our genres are different. although i'm starting to think that this thing is more of a "hobby" and not meant to be my career.. just because.. it seems so... out of reach. but i am young, and we'll still see. my dad keeps asking me what i want to be.. and i keep telling him i don't know. and then he asks me when i'll figure it out, i tell him that as long as he keeps asking me, i won't figure it out. i'm such a brat. one other thing i also thought about on sunday is how many events that we've gone to for my sister... and how many my family has gone for me. they're a lot different and maybe hers are more presitigous.. but i still thought about it. allow me to wallow in my self-pity for 5 seconds..... okay i'm done.

last game of the DL's first season. we didn't win :( but it wasn't too bad, and i think a lot of us were having fun. or trying to.. how much fun can you have when you're losing? with us, we always either start out the game well and then let it go towards the end. or we start out slow and spend the rest of the game playing catch up and never quite make it. i made a pretty good catch at first base (after a really awful one) that i was proud of myself for. haha.. too bad it was at the end of the game :P even though we didn't win every game i still had a lot of fun, and i think that the team is great, and i love it that they wouldn't mind playing again. :) none of this starting their own all male team business :P afterwards we went to friday's to comiserate, and apparently i was "pushing our luck" with the waitress.. but really.. asking for what you want isn't bad.. it's their job :P

today our family friend is supposed to come stay at our house, but neither my dad or i know when she's coming in and what time we're supposed to get her at the airport. we haven't heard from her in awhile... and i hope she didn't email my mom because i forgot the password. haha. oh well.. if all else fails she'll call wondering where we are, it's a 10 minute ride to the airport anyways.

4 more days.

RIP my grandfather.
november 14, 2004

he was 93 years old.

aiya....

it wasn't too bad.. except today bums me out. well.. not the whole day.. just when i got home. my parents handed me this fatty notice from the superior court that included pictures of me "running a red light" bah... dammit.. the light was yellow.. but i remember when it happened.. the flashes went off.. bah. i called beth to whine and she consoled me, told me that they usually don't get a clear picture, usually take a long time to send out tickets... i felt better. today.. all the anxiety came back. along with a $341 fine. three hundred and forty one freaking dollars. gah.. i don't know about fighting it.. i guess i could go to court, but i'm sure they hear sob stories all day long, they'd probably think i was lying. someone help me please.

my mom came back from taiwan last night. she brought all sorts of goodies :) burberry bags, tons of hello kitty stuff, lots of knickknacks and cutesy fobby stuff. ooh and chinese pastry snacks. the best. my aunt called today though and said that my grandpa has some more issues. my mom is planning to go back to taiwan.. maybe tomorrow afternoon. yikes. she has issues with work, but i think that she doesn't want to regret not being there if the something does happen. :(

the play on thursday was okay.. i totally messed up one of the cues, i accidentally hit stop instead of the next button and on the cd player and totally got flustered and started to play some random track with the phone ring. i finally calmed down and played the right track, but it seemed like an eternity. the cast didn't hate me.. and afterwards we went out for food, drinks and conversation. i got to hear the romantic flick/dawson's creek style story of a true life get together of a couple including the phrases "soulmate," "i was at a party and miserable because you weren't there," "i always think about you," "i just want to talk to you all the time," "i don't know what took me so long to realize it," "all i ever think about is you," "you've just said everything i've been waiting eight years to hear you say"... it was too adorable.. sickening almost.. but cute. when it's supposed to happen it's just that easy i guess.. although it wasn't always, but it was in the end. it gives me some sort of hope. and it's always cute for guys to shed that macho exterior and just gush. aww.

speaking of macho exteriors, today i was next to a guy on his phone talking to his friend about weekend plans. i have never been more disgusted in my life. his conversation was like "you know those girls i was going to arrange for us to hang out with... they were playing all these games, trying to be cool - about who's calling who first, and naw... i don't play those kinds of games.. so i terminated them." and then "you know i've known this girl for a year and i still haven't hit it" he's so cool.

i'm supposed to be cleaning so i can maybe have a party.. i have about 2 or so days... 4 maybe at the most.. we'll see... who wants to come over and help?! i'll feed you and maybe pay you..although with this $341 ticket... i might be struggling for cash. (aww.. now i'm sad again).

something that did make me happy is that i've been looking into purchasing the iMac G5.. i know that i talked about it before.. but the time has come.. am i ready to blow $3000 on computer and software? ack... i wish money grew on trees.

on monday when i was sad about losing the game and being really bad... beth was trying to console.. in her own way.

jean: man... sorry guys. i suck
beth: what's with all this self-pity? that's not the jean i know! usually you delude yourself... like "masquerade ball is the greatest event ever!"

what a bitch.

RileyM: Hi!
jeanyah: hello
RileyM: Hi. What's up?
jeanyah: mm.. not much
jeanyah: do i know you?
RileyM: No. I found your name on webdate.com. Just looking for people to chat with.
jeanyah: what?
jeanyah: are you serious?
RileyM: I have no reason to lie to you.

so this conversation greeted me sunday night. i was quite confused. i was going to call beth or nicole and ask if the put me on there as a joke. but it's a completely different person from a completely different place. some girl is trying to steal my identity! jk. i dunno how she came about that name, and maybe that explains the number of random people imming me. but i freaked out for a nanosecond or so.

you can check out the "canadian" jeanyah.. i guess she can have that title :P
http://www.webdate.com/profile.php?id=840843

if you are sure you don't want to sign up (who doesn't need a webdate?) you can use mine. (i only signed up to see her profile, i swear)
username: jeanhuang
password: 36167

i wonder if she to other places like myspace or hotmail or gmail or aim or whatever and tries to sign up with jeanyah and curses me because it's already taken. hah. i'm hotter than her. just kidding.. so she's hotter than me. a different kind of hot. plus i'm not hot at all, so yea.

other than that, my life is same ol same ol. softball game last night.. we lost. again. boo. we were up for a little bit, then down, then tied. and then i let a bunch of people on base .. walks and all that.. (i suck) and they got 6 runs and we didn't score any. sucks. ryan made this really good catch in the outfield, and neal made an AWESOME catch at second base. i sucked a whole bunch. boo. but my team are good sports and very nice and supportive and don't talk shit about me to my face.. so as long as i can't hear it and they smile at me and pat me on the back, it's okay. just kidding. i dunno, i wish i had more control.. i'm gonna have to work on that. i'm not the biggest slo-pitch fan, but it is just fun to get out there and play. and when we do well, it's even better (before i start sucking). or maybe it's because everyone takes it easy on us because they think we're awful, and then when we show we're pretty good they turn it up and that's where it goes wrong. who knows.. i don't, obviously. but hopefully we will win our last game. ack. cross your fingers, and you guys should come out and cheer for us :)

afterwards a few of us got dinner at islands, and then i met up with keri to see the incredibles (yay) and beth, ryan and benji came with. it was good, the style reminded me a lot of the powerpuff girls. some of the graphics were neat, like the hair and the water - me and keri were oohing and ahhing, and beth and i squealed like 4 year old girls at the preview for the heffalump pooh movie. so cute! although the incredibles was good, i think it might be my least favorite disney/pixar movie. maybe it's because everyone said how good it was and i was super excited, and my expectations were thus super high. that always happens, but when movies i never really wanted to see - and then end up watching... i love. oh well.. it was good though. and i do like how they used real life aspects that contributed to their super powers. although that's not something i would have ever realized just from the movie. i heard the review on KROQ and he was talking about why each super hero had their powers. smart.

had lunch with my sister. she's leaving for taiwan soon. i'm sad she won't be here for my birthday, thanksgiving and maybe not christmas :( poop.

i just wasted $4.69 and bought 3 ringtones for my phone. i have always wanted to, but never thought i should, until this week, when i just said "fuck it." which sucks because i could have got more usage out of them if i had just bought them earlier. oh well.

so i bought "toxic" and the "beverly hills 90210 theme song" oh yea. for my third song, i'm waiting for a jason mraz song or harry potter. it'll be a good one.

i feel incredibly cool and geeky all at the same time.

hah.

so michael phelps isn't such a perfect hero after all.

underage, drinking and driving? oh my.

happy happy birthday sergi!

so.. my birthday is coming up. and a few people have asked me what i want. well really only one... but maybe more later. haha.. so in lieu of that... i present my amazon wishlist.

this isn't to advertise my birthday or anything. but i hate when people ask me what i want. because i'll say stupid shit like "a job, a boyfriend, a clean house so i can have a party.." stuff you can't just pick up on a shelf, but really that's what i want. or the new G5 imac or the G5 desktop with a pretty apple monitor to go with, but really i don't think anyone's going to be springing that on me. ooh or last season's GAP posters of michael vartan.. i'd love you forever for that. aside from that i don't know what i "really" want... and maybe i don't "need" anything. my room is too small to hold the stuff i don't already need. but it is definitely nice to get things. at the same time.. i hate answering because i feel like a greedy brat. also... i love the element of the surprise of a gift. like - someone took the time to figure out a good present instead of just getting whatever. i don't know.. i mean.. is getting a thought-out bad gift better than something you want? but in any case, that's a question i never really liked to answer. thus, the wishlist. this isn't specifically for my bday, and i put a lot of random crap on there.. so maybe use it as a guideline, or just to see what i'm into. also, i often forget that amazon has tons of stuff on there, so really i only use it to buy dvd's and what not, so that's basically the majority of the list (and mostly boxed sets cuz that's what i buy from amazon.)

i'm really not trying to a ego-maniac, or scream "hey! it's my birthday! you'd better buy me a present you fuckers."... but just for the few who were wondering "hmm.. what does jean want?" of course if you don't know me and just feel like giving a stranger a present, i'd be more than willing to oblige :P

yay.. it's friday.

although i may have booked myself for work on the weekend. blah. but it's only like 1 or 2 hours shifts of ice hockey, so it's okay. maybe i will run into tom cruise or michael vartan. i'm keeping my fingers crossed :P i still haven't gotten confirmation on whether or not they need me, so maybe i'll just get to veg out like i had planned. actually tomorrow was supposed to be my super productive day of cleaning. taking time to clean and throw out stuff since my mom isn't around to be packrat. but i can't really throw anything away because she will be PISSED if i her throw her "trash" away (even if it is trash).. so i'll just have to nicely organize it. which is still easier when she's not around because she's not nagging me on how to do this and that and to organize everything her way. i also feel bad when i go out too because i feel like i'm leaving my dad all by his lonesome. he always tells me "well i'm used to it now" which makes me feel even worse. it's true.. 4 years of college i wasn't around.. he's probably happy to be by himself every once in awhile. but still...

speaking of my mom i haven't spoken to her yet. maybe she called when i was at work or the play or something. but i figured no news is good news right? she's just enjoying her time in taiwan and having some quality family time. she needs it :) i only wish she could stay longer, i think she really misses living closer to her family and "home." i gazed upon an email once saying how sometimes she wishes technology wasn't so "advanced" because it has caused her to move further away and it moves people apart. which is sad.. but true.

wednesday night i was going to veg, but ended up covering a guy's shift at work. it was.. interesting.. a night riddled with injuries. yikes.. my first experience with "real" injuries .. well not really because on sunday a kid got hurt, so this is like injury week. but wednesday they called 911 and everything.. crazy! so the injury list included, broken wrist, knocked out teeth, twisted knee, and snapped hamstring. in two games. yikes. i feel the worst for the knocked out teeth guy - it's so permanent! ... plus because he did it to himself. hah. the puck deflected off his stick up to his mouth. was he not wearing a mouth-guard? he was wearing a sheild, but not a full cage. some people play without any face protection! i don't get that. now that guy is missing teeth. and his team was laughing and wanting to take pictures. awww. i also learned that if you put teeth in a glass of milk it helps preserve it? is that true? the random stuff you learn.

last night the play was okay. (only 5 left to come see!!) they changed the set and lights (we share the space with another play) so everything was different... so i messed up a few times... yikes. people said they didn't notice, but still.. i almost totally messed up and missed a few cues, but caught it in time. apparently i'm sucking at everything lately.

including tower blaster. philly kicked my ass 15,000 to 1,500 last night. :P

COME ON new hampshire, iowa, wisconsin and OHIO.

gosh dang that is asking a lot. boo.

so the lesson for tonight is always screw caps on tightly. i learned this lesson awhile ago actually when i went out to dinner and got steak sauce all over myself because the lid wasn't screwed on the bottle and i picked it up and shook it. steak sauce in the eye is no fun. today i knocked over a soda bottle (not mine) that the cap wasn't screwed on tightly and it landed into one of the referee's bags. oops. i freaked out, grabbed the fizzing bottle and tried to soak up the soda. unfortunately a lot of it got on a referree shirt in his bag, and he was not too pleased. i think i lied and said that it fell in when the players slammed into the boards. aiya. maybe he won't bring all his stuff out and change in the box anymore :P.. maybe he'll use the locker room and i won't be graced by his hairy chest and boxer breifs twice a week. ugh.

monday's game was not so fun. i sucked pretty badly.. i always feel as if it's my fault. but they also hit really far.. and our hitting isn't the best. but it is still a big part of my fault (boo). and i hate losing. so it's not so fun. emily and beth are really sweet and tell me that i'm doing well and it's not my fault, and a bunch of my teammates tell me that it's okay and i'm doing really well. and although it's nice to hear .. i don't believe them. haha. boo......

my mom left for taiwan today. i swear she is the biggest procrastinator. i'm sure that's where i get it from. she didn't finish packing until 2ish or so, her flight was at 3:30. crazy mommy. she always does this too. :P she hopes to help her dad's health.. but it is inevitable since he is 90+ years old. i don't know what to think or hope for. i hope she is able to be with him enough. she's coming back in a week or so... it doesn't seem like enough time, but her bosses are kind of not so nice right now. i hope it's peaceful, and not too much pain. it hurts less when you have time to prepare. but she's hoping for the "good outcome." but how long can it last? ugh.. i feel so cynical.

it's 2am.. and i gotta go to work (yuk) in the morning. i want to just quit already :P i am a huge slacker. i'm done watching the news for now..

come on ohio.
*on a side note... while looking at election results by state, i wonder what kind of person i'd be if i grew up in indiana. thinks that make me go hmm... boys are in the category too.

spaznik: poor thing... but hey he knows your name and calls you sweetheart

argh..

hmm.. so.. there must have been a glitch with the audio blogging, because i just had thought that i didn't push the right buttons at the end.. but i guess it just got lost for a bit, and now it's back. i've forgotten what i said already.

i know this is a bit late.. but

happy halloween!! :)

this week has been okay. was kind of crummy in the middle, but ended well. last weekend was fun. san diego. yay! it was fun hanging out, watching movies. i think most of it was in my audio blog. the first thing i did when i got there was get a california burrito from el coti's. mmm. went downtown to get my hair cut, whoo hoo. it wasn't too bad. spent $20 total, $10 for the hair cut, $8 tip, $2 parking. and then back that night for some movies, hung out with courtney, and went out and about in PB. saturday was more movies, just hanging out, got a calamari steak sandwich from el pescador (yum) although i got courtney a little lost driving around.. and she wasn't feeling well.. yuk. but she got some chai and some chocolate and felt better, so it's all good :) watched more films, hung out with jill and jason and then dinner with courtney and taylor. it was good just to see friends and hang out.. especially friends i hadn't seen in a long while. :) hopefully it won't be too long before we see each other again.

monday was our softball game. it sucked. it was so awful, bad for even us. for some reason no one (except for justin) could get it together. and maybe we weren't "that" bad, but we were bad enough, and the other team was good enough that it was just the worst game ever. i have never felt that crummy about a loss, and not just cuz we lost, but it was just plain ugly. afterwards beth, benji and i headed to chili's where we had the 32 year old waiter who just got kicked out of his parents house for being a free-loader.. so we listened to his stories, about how they took back his car (a range rover which he decked out with dvd players and what not) so he had to drop out of csulb and go to elco because that's within biking distance. how he used to live the high life and go to $300 dinners at big posh places, and now he lives off of trader joe's macaroni & cheese, and how he doesn't know how to clip coupons, or really where to find coupons. yea.. serious. we swapped horror retail stories, and he was a pretty cool cat. he wasn't too bad on the eyes either, which didn't hurt, and we all debated about whether or not he was gay. i thought he wasn't, benji thought he was, and beth flip-flopped.

work on tuesday, lunch @ daphne's with benji and beth. i swear that ever since carlene's birthday party i have been obsessed with gyros. they're so yummy! i had greek food with my sister in santa monica, and then daphne's the week before for dinner, and then again last week for lunch. i can't get enough. yikes.

i got in some trouble at work for some stupid stuff.. and it put me in a pretty crummy mood thursday and friday. i dunno.. i know that i'm not supposed to be doing certain things, but when everyone else is, and it doesn't really seem to matter. it's hard to just not to anything, instead of doing what you're "not supposed to be doing" (and this is of course after i've finished all my work. so you all don't think i'm a delinquent.) but yea.. it still kind of sucks.. and my uber paranoia is setting in, and i just seem to get weird vibes. so ... i dunno. after work i was going to be motivated and go to the gym.. but as i was walking up to the gym i realized that i had forgot my sneakers (after reminding myself twice to pick them up before going out the door) so i got back in my car and went home :) nice huh? nap before work and then work until midnightish. good times.

saturday was family and sister day. hanging out at her posh pad. that's always a good time. i get to watch cable and got hooked on the real world/road rules battle of the sexes. argh.. who won the ice competition? who's getting kicked off! i was sad that Ace got booted :P he's so adorable. eric nies is still pretty yummy. that night i had to go to work again - covering people's shifts who have real lives and parties to go to. since i didn't make any plans i figured i'd be nice and take the shift. i'm so dumb because i got super excited to see celebrities there - watching their kids play. it was too cute. i shouldn't be so starstruck, but i am. the celebrity count is up to three - dave coulier, peter gallagher and antonio sabato jr. haha. apparently kiefer sutherland and jerry bruckheimer were around playing pick up and tom cruise came to chat. and i missed him. man.. my sister would have loved me if i had clubbed tom cruise over the head with a hockey stick and brought him back. jk. but it was like an hour after my shift.. man!! tom cruise... aiya.. i'm such a goober.

sunday.. freaking daylight savings .. i had forgotten and woke up at 6:30am for my 8am meeting. argh. only after i finished getting ready did i catch a glimpse of my smart vcr that reset the time by itself and realize that i was up 1 hour too early in the butt crack of dawn. i really could have used another hour.. i took a nap, but it's not the same as solid sleep.

sunday after work, and confusion, and me being uber stupid dorky - nicole, benji, beth, ryan and i went out to hermosa for halloween. nicole really wanted to go out (even though she was sick) and i thought i'd appease her, but i'm really glad that she made me go out. :) it was a good time, and sorry for anyone who got annoyed at my stupidness. we went to patrick malloys - me as a school girl (with the costume i bought that day - skirt from the gap and knee highs from target :P), nicole as a old school girl star trek officer (AWESOME!!!), benji as a running with the bulls guy (are they officially called something?), ryan as a scientist, and beth wore her snow white costume (too cute). she opted for the real snow white instead of the slutty snow white.. but it was still great :) i had bought a ding dong from the pizza place next door, but didn't eat it right away, so i put it in my purse - but forgot about it and found it in my purse later on. at one point, me and ryan went for a shot and i was going to throw away the mutilated ding dong, but ate it instead. it was the best ding dong i've ever had. haha.. stupid. we hung out at a very empty kettle with a snarky ass waitress (probably just sick of stupid drunkards coming in all the time) and ate, had good conversation and sobered up. nicole thankfully drove me home before trekking back to chino hills herself (thanks for coming out!) and i crawled into bed trying not to wake my mom up who fell asleep on the couch while waiting for me (after the stern phone i got from her.. oops). this way she'll never know what time i actually came home :P

this morning we got a phone call super early - which usually isn't the best of signs. in the past months my grandfather's (mom's side) health was deteriorating. he's pretty old, and from what my mom says my step-grandmother isn't the nicest and doesn't take the best care of him. he'd go for days without eating and was in the hospital a few times. my aunt went back to taiwan to spend some time and hopefully nourish him back to health, but i don't really know what's been going on since then but i guess my grandfather is back in the emergency room. my aunt called this morning and through the walls i could hear bits and pieces of the conversation as i was drifting in and out of sleep. i hear my mom say "come home quickly?" which is never a good sign either. i guess my grandfather is in the hospital, and will maybe have to be transferred to a larger hospital - since they live in a fairly podunk town in taiwan. my mom is leaving tomorrow for taiwan and so i'll have to help her pack her stuff and try not to stress her out too much. i feel bad because i was super sad when my grandfather (dad's side) had died. i don't feel quite the same way now.. just because we weren't that close i suppose. i was maybe even a little freaked out by him sometimes. but i do feel an ache for my mom because she doesn't really handle stress well, and it's never a fun situation. she's pretty unfocused, but has to get some stuff done at work before she leaves tomorrow. she's crying and all that and just worried when someone tells you "you should come now." maybe i just don't think it's real yet or it hasn't sunken in. i wonder if anything awful does happen if i should go to taiwan.. the only thing holding me back would be the play.. so i dunno. it's a crummy situation but we'll get through it. my mom's mom died when she was young - so .. i dunno. he's lived a good life, had lots of kids and got to see my sister get married in apparently what my relatives are calling "the wedding of the century." i wonder how much of it he actually took in. but nevertheless, my mom got to be there to experience it with him. what sucks about being the younger child is that my grandparents could possibly not witness a lot of things i do... but .. i dunno.. what can you do. my mom had also been stressing out about her job and today on the phone she was telling me how if she didn't work anymore that i'd have to take care of her. i told her i would and she's like "really? you promise?" i dunno.. this conversation sounds dumb as i type it out, but i think my mom worries a lot about when she hits old age if me and my sister will just abandon her and my dad, dump them in some retirement home if they don't have money to survive on their own. my old lady neighbor is by herself all day and all night and says her son only visits her every once in awhile to make sure he can collect on insurance. this conversation between my mom and i.. i dunno. it was just interesting. not that you all care, but i'm writing it for myself so i can look back and read my blog later and remember these things i wrote. either to remind myself how dumb i was/am, or smart things i say. i dunno. one last thing that is really awful of me. is that i am a little giddy that with my mom gone there won't be anyone there to nag me. my dad is more lax and less uptight, but then again i also feel bad leaving him at home by himself. i dunno.. i feel absolutely awful for thinking it.. but it's the truth i guess. it just sucks that it has to be because of these circumstances. that's right.. i am an awful daughter.

anyhoo.. i am done babbling. sorry to have gone on so long. my shoulder hurts a lot.. i don't know from what. maybe just sleeping on it the wrong way. i hope the softball game tonight doesn't suck too bad. it's almost time for lunch.. yay. the day after halloween isn't the funnest. i wish i could have just stayed in bed. but that's always every morning. but it IS november. which i love. all the coolest people are born in november. :) plus.. there's the gorging yourself on turkey. yum! bring on the meat sweats!

happy november!

i am in a particularly good mood today.. because it's "friday" :) i took tomorrow off because i'm headed to san diego tomorrow.. thus.. no more work! yahoo!! i am a teeny bit bummed though because there's a free pair of lakers' pre-season tickets (vs. the clippers) up for grabs, but i can't go since i'll be in sandy eggo. oh well.. some other time eh? but i am going to do my play tonight and benji, beth, keri and jerod are coming tonight.. so yay for that!! it's a good day.

i am a little bummed that it's not raining. what? am i crazy? no.. i am not. i don't totally despise the rain like people would think LA people do. and i'm not one of those people who get all crazy and can't drive in the rain.. (shut up and keep your stupid "asian driver" jokes to yourself :P) i think because it doesn't rain a whole lot i like when it rains.. but not the light rain that's on again off again, because that's just annoying and makes everything smell. tiny sprinkling is okay because it's like it doesn't even really matter. but i like really hard rain.. i think it's kind of fun :) especially if i'm inside.. but it's kind of fun to be walking through it too. plus.. it's a free car wash! i wear my bright yellow rubber rain jacket that i've had since middle school.. which is awesome.. although everyone stares at me like i'm a freak. plus.. i just bought a new umbrella yesterday too! (which is the real reason i'm hoping it rains..) i didn't really "need" it.. it had long stopped raining by then, and in fact i had an umbrella in my purse when i bought this one.. but it was so cute. haha.. i went to 3rd street again with my sissy-poo to return more stuff (credit card induced buyers remorse) and although the umbrella was a tad pricey.. i wanted it.. badly. so i figured i had returned enough stuff to justify buying this umbrella. i just can't lose it.. (like i lose every other nice accessory i buy :P)

how hott is this?

i think it's AWESOME. they also have it in black with silver writing, but i opted for silver because it's less like every umbrella out there, and has pink. now if they had black with pink writing.. that'd be perfection.

tomorrow i'm also going to get my hair cut in san diego. it's one of those student hair cutting things, but for paul mitchell. and by someone i know.. so they can't really fuggitup. plus there's teachers around and all. i had a good experience with my last "hair modeling" gig.. so i'm a little excited. i'm a little scared because i want to try for the hair cut like norelle's on america's next top model. not quite sure if i can pull it off. but i guess the experts tomorrow will let me know. cross your fingers.. i'm also a little scared because chopping off a few inches of hair is always daunting. i curled my hair today.. one last time for old times sake. :P

san diego will be exciting. i'm going for the film festival, but i am looking forward to carne asada fries, going out on saturday night (probably PB), my hair cut, and i think i want to take a trip to fashion valley. :) i lurve san diego.. i'm just bummed i have to come back sunday for work at 5am. BOO. hopefully with a cute hair style, and a belly full of el cotixan's in tow it won't be so bad. but i will be sleepless, that's for sure. probably just drive back at 2 or 3 and go straight to work. blah. plus my sister will be leaving for hawaii. lucky duck.. i wanna go. blah blah blah.. 29 minutes to go!! oh my.. only 10 days til halloween! what are you going to be?

my.. this guy at work is wearing a shirt that is awfully lime green.

i hate when i take lunch "early"... because then i have so much more work afterwards to sit through. and i say early.. as in normal. i'm so used to taking my lunch at like 1:30 or 2, so that when i come back it's 2:30 or 3:00 or so, and i only have 2ish hours of work left. i took my lunch early today to have lunch with my family before they went to the airport to send off my aunt.. but now it's only 3 o'clock and i feel like it's been FOREVER. blah.

anyways.. this weekend i'm going to the SAN DIEGO ASIAN FILM FESTIVAL! yay. some of the cherry sky shorts are in it. yay! and after looking through the program i found out one of my friends from high school have a film in it to. that's neat. if you're in or around san diego (LA is "around") you should check it out. it'll be way fun.. plus san diego is awesome. we'll go eat carne asada fries. yum. oh yea.. if you look on the festival page .. there are some 30 second shorts to promote the festival. the one with the yellow caution sign (cherry sky films) is one that i helped on!! go watch it!! the girl in it used to model for gap kids.. hehe.. nice huh? :P it's a play off the whole "pedestrian crossing" sign from the freeway near the border check for illegal immegrants running across the freeway. i know everyone in san diego and their mother has played off that sign, but whatever. it's really well shot though. so.... check it out :)

click on me!!

i did some googling, just because i was curious... and i found this:

torrance youth council history

look.. it's my name! it's my name! ... just among a billion of peoples..but still. hahah.. it makes me feel somewhat special.

i'm such a dork.

Show me that smile again
Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’
We're nowhere near the end
The best is ready to begin

As long as we got each other
We got the world spinnin right in our hands
Baby you and me, we gotta be
The luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin’

As long as we keep on givin’
we can take anything that comes our way
Baby, rain or shine, all the time
We got each other
Sharin’ the laughter and love

so i'm pretty geeky. i watched "growing pains: return of the seavers" on saturday night .. just for old times sake. i knew it was going to be cheesy and all, but i found it searching through my tivo listings and wanted to record it anyways. it was cheesy, but good... because i'm easily amused and will enjoy almost anything. but i do love that cheese. at the end they had this girl band (i think is the ashley johnson "chrissy" and her real life sister singing.. but i'm not sure) singing the theme song and it was so cute and i got all nostalgic and warm and fuzzy. i think i've watched the end like 5 times now. har har har. hey.. i'm not the only one who loves it :P see i'm not crazy. it was really good... i wish i knew how to tape thing off my tv so i could make an mp3 of the song or something. help.. anyone? :)

my weekend was pretty uneventful. chilling at home, fighting with my mom, cleaning some, sleeping some and work a little. i've had a few weeks off at the gap and i think now they're expecting me to come back.. umm.. but i kind of want to, but i kind of don't. i dunno. it's just a bad time right now still.. once softball ends and once the play ends it'll be a little better... although i dunno if we're going to play again next season, but the play will be done and i can have thursday nights back :) not that i don't enjoy it... i just wish i could sit around and do absolutely nothing for like a month. that would be nice.

my aunt is in town before she goes off to taiwan. my mom likes to take her out to a bunch of places, so we've been going out to eat a lot. sunday was china buffet.. yes again. blech :P the only good thing about going to china buffet so many times is that you know exactly what to eat and what to stay away from. my favorites are the bean noodles and my own yummy dessert of donuts and ice cream. it's really good.. i can't explain it. haha it's just like on apprentice! last night they went to el torasco, but i couldn't go cuz of the game. well i guess i could have caught up with them because the other team forfeited because they didn't have enough players & enough girls... but we ended up playing anyways. we were worried about not beating them, because we won against them last time, but we had 3 sub-players because one girl broke her nose and her and her husband left for the hospital. we played them.. and they really were not that great.. so i guess that's good :) yay for us, we're not in complete last place :P we can move up in the rankings, we just have to win all the rest of our games. haahah. just like beth says, "every sports movie ever made says we can make a come back and win" that's for sure.

after the game last night i drove by the torrance inline hockey rink and just sat and watched for a bit. i watched the scorekeeper and the clock and the referees and a little bit of the game. i only saw the 3rd period, but they don't have stop time or maybe their goal deficit number is different. also i think they keep track of goal attempts or something. i'm not sure. i wanted to ask the scorekeeper, but i didn't want to be more geeky than i already was. i also saw some of the skate park, for the first time. it was dark and it was closed, so i just looked from beyond the gate.. but it was kind of a good feeling that i had helped build it and contribute to it's creation. i mean.. not physically put it together.. but i remember when we were planning in torrance youth council to get it done, get funding and all that other stuff. how we thought that it'd never happen, but some of the council members supported us, and now there is a teen center, there's a skate park and a whole bunch of stuff @ wilson park now. it's pretty nifty... it makes me feel like i had actually "made" a difference. although you would never be able to tell.. but i know :P when my sister was in youth council and gary was in charge, he used to always have holiday parties at his house and have old and new tyc people all get together. i always thought that would be fun to go to, but he stopped having them and then stopped being the youth council liason. i wonder what happened to all the people .. it would be fun to see them. more so my first year than my second... but it was good times. until that last year.. when i got robbed.. but oh well. hahah. bigger and better things huh? but i do wish i could have ridden on that rose float. :P robbed i tell you.. robbed. i still have my cool ass torrance youth council jacket. hah. i *heart* torrance.

happy birthday angeleeeeeeeeeeeeee!!


*these pictures are uber old.. but they'll have to do for now.

happy birthday to you.

i can show you the world
shining, shimmering, splendid
tell me princess now when did
you last let your heart decide

i can open your eyes
take you wonder by wonder
over, sideways and under
on a magic carpet ride

a whole new world
a new fantastic point of view
no one to tell us no
or where to go
or say we're only dreaming

aww.. yup.. last night i finally watched my aladdin dvd. which is actually a big accomplishment, because i have so many dvd's and cd's that i buy that i haven't watched or listened to yet, but i just had to have them :P i will slowly get around to all of them, but i just had the urge to watch aladdin last night. maybe it was the trip to disneyland last weekend. it was funny because i went and bought it on tuesday, and there were so many people buying the movie, and not the families or moms.. but lots of guys too, along with their free abu plush (anyone want mine?) i was surprised at how many people just love this movie.. haha, but i guess i shouldn't be.

i watched it.. and it was great.. and afterwards i watched the special part with nick and jessica singing the duet. they are too cute... sakura was totally wrong when she heard they were getting a divorce. and when i was watching the behind the scenes for the song and jessica was talking, she sounded pretty intelligent, like she really knew what she was talking about. :) i watched the original peabo bryson/regina belle music video.. oh cheesy 80's. hahah - the hairstyles, the fake sand dunes in the background, the fuzzy dream like filter over it. oh it was great. then i watched the nick and jessica version again. too too cute.. i think i was almost gushing, or tearing. i love disney. can't wait until the little mermaid comes out.. that's my faaaavorite.

i also watched another episode of my on-going felicity marathon. i'm still finishing season 2 and season 3 is waiting to be watched (as is seasons 2, 3, and 4 of dawson's creek)... see what i mean about buying stuff i don't watch right away. oh well... it looks good on the shelf :) anyhow.. i think i like felicity better than dawson's creek as a whole just because it ended the RIGHT way.. with felicity and ben together. they just had to ruin dawson's creek by putting joey with pacey in the end.... hello.. dawson's creek. anyways.. the end of season 2 is where ben and felicity get back together, but in this particular episode felicity goes clubbing, leaves ben a drunk "i don't need you and i don't trust you and that's why we can never be" message (yes, very friends like), ben dissapears, but when ben comes back he tells felicity he's been thinking about where is the point that he messed up, and what made her not trust him .. (nice.. how many guys do that?) and he remembers it was when they had a date to watch a silent movie in the park and he stood her up. so then he gives felicity this big thing and she unwraps it and he says:

ben: do you know what that is?
felicity: yea, it's a film cannister
ben: no... it's a time machine.

awwwwwwwwwwww. how CUTE is that.. all of my sappy girly aura was overpowering my room last night.. but it was too cute.. and then they spend the night watching the movie on the roof. that's just perfect. that's the way it's supposed to be huh?

la di da.. i'm bored.

sure.. nothing new. but the internet is down, the dsl died, and without that i can't run the reports on my other computer. thank god i work on both networks and have the internet on this one, because if not i'd just be going batty playing solitaire for 4 hours. there is also freecell and pinball. there's also minesweeper - but my mouse doesn't work right, so it's not so fun to play. hmm...

nothing much going on.. just waitiing for the clock to tick down. beth told me that once her company had no power, so her whole dept went to noah's bagels to chit chat. i guess because they couldn't just sit in the dark. but my boss likes to keep me here.. just in case i guess. i really wish i could go home and have them call me when the internet is back on.. i could watch my aladdin dvd, clean my room, or sleep.. something. but now i'm just checking my email every 5 minutes, logging onto friendster and myspace and just... trying to find ways to occupy myself. it's good times.

monday night we lost (again :( ) at softball. it was the number one team so i expected lots of pain, but it wasn't too bad. we were actually up after the first inning, but maybe they were just psyching us out, luring us into a false sense of security, and then beating our asses down. i don't feel too bad because some people at my work have a team and supposedly they've only scored like 6 runs in their four games combined. haha.. they also said they lost 60 runs to something before. is that even possible? they have cute shirts though, and i bet they still have fun. they just don't care cuz they know hockey, not softball, is their sport i guess. tuesday night was work. wasn't too bad.. i had to spew a little bit of attitude at this one girl (who really looks kind of manly) and i think people were either annoyed, shocked or.. i dunno.. something... it might have been a little mean, but i was sick of people yelling at me and whining about crap just because they were losing/had lost/might lose. be like us, sack up and own that you suck. haha.. don't blame anyone else.. don't be like the spoiled girl on america's next top model. don't blame others... :P listen to tyra.

another repeat topic.. i need to curb my spending habits. i got my credit card bill. ack.. tooooo much money. i used to be so careful when my credit limit was $500.. now that it's higher.. i am out of control. somebody take it away from me.. quick. i gotta find my receipts and go on a returning spree.. even my cute new shoes from steve madden :( my new picture frame i get to keep though because it's non-returnable.. hahaha.

anyways.. i'm just babbling because i'm bored. only 45 minutes to go!

who's coming to see my play on thursday... anyone? anyone?

yay!!! so my trailer is up at the cherry sky films site. which is exciting :) i watched it, and i don't know if it's my computer, but it seems a little jaunting.. or something. plus on my computer the sound is definitely bad since i'm using the built in speaker on the computer. but i still love it :) BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME.... it takes a little bit of time to load.. but you should most definitely check it out.

go to www.cherryskyfilms.com
click on news
at the top right hand you'll see a link for trailer, and you can click on that.

the trailer should load and you can watch it. yippee!! i hope you like it.. a prize goes out to anyone who can identify all the songs i used :) who's up for the challenge?

check it out! and the rest of the site of course :)
let me know what you think!!

so this week has been a lot of up and down..but in then end i think that i have a lot to be happy about.. so ... yea. i was super overdramatic about last week, but i guess i was just having a shitty day in general.. and the first place i go to vent is they blog. so it's just unfortunate that you get all the emotional dribble that comes out when i'm first really angry without really asking. (although by coming here aren't you kind of asking for it?) anyhoo, nicole didn't beat my ass down and didn't kill me like everyone said she would, so i'm grateful for that. she even gave me a bottle of limoncello (lemon flavored alcohol?) from italy (yay!!) that i actually still have in my purse. mm.. work is going to be fun today. jk. she gave to each me and beth, except i got the one that's 35% alcohol, and beth got 20%.. man.. everyone thinks that i'm an alcoholic. :P

anyhoo...last week was busy.. and i still have 6 hours of tv saved on my tivo that i don't have the energy or time to watch. mostly it's my own fault.. but i like to make myself "seem" cool that i have so much to do :P even though i've "taken a break" from the gap lately, since i'm stage managing, what i thought would be free time, has been quickly taken up. although since we opened last week we no longer have rehearsals, and it's just one show a week. i'll probably have to go back to the gap soon for holiday season, but it might be exciting... today is the first day for the new cross brand credit card :) nice huh? or finally. we had softball on monday (lost 18-9.. boo hoo), tuesday i worked, but beth came by to hang out and so afterwards benji, beth and i went to the kettle to chit chat, sneer at ladies we though were being mean to us, and eat lots of crap late at night. it was very entertaining to listen to beth and benji argue about gay marriage in the background of me trying to scorekeep. no particular reason why.. but just to hear them fight. haha. the only thing is is that sometimes they like to gang up against me and make fun of me.. and that's not so fun :P wednesday was the last day of tech hell before thursday which of opening night and then friday i got to just stay home and do nothing :) awesome. i was going to go to the "pain in the butt" class, but didn't, and actually went with my dad to china buffet for dinner.

i actually really dislike china buffet, i think it's pretty disgusting, but my parents really like it. my dad especially wanted to go because they had king crab legs in their buffet. my dad has been asking me if i wanted to go with him for a few weeks now, and i've always been not able to go, so i figure.. what the hell, and humored him. it was okay, not the best, but not as awful as the first time i went. the highlight was my dessert where i had these sugar donut bits topped with ice cream. yum. :) my dad was in king crab leg heaven (and for only $12.99) but not as much as the two ladies across from us who only ate crab legs and lots of them. their entire table was filled with plates of empty shells, and they kept going for more. but i guess that's pretty smart of them. it's definitely a popular item there, as soon as they'd bring out a tray, people would be swarming around, and sometimes grabbing a lot and it'd be gone within like 5-10 minutes. then they'd have to wait another 20 minutes or so for another tray and the process would start over again, while people circled around the area like vultures. this time there was no fobby happy birthday music playing every 10 minutes, i guess nobody wanted to go their for their birthday friday night. overall it was a good time with my dad.. and it ended with me spraying water all over him with my straw because he bet me that i couldn't hit him. haha.. it sounds weird, but we were having lots of fun :)

saturday i was supposed to stay home and be productive at home, but i ended up going to softball practice in LA, coming back to shower, going back to LA to have late lunch/early dinner with jeff-gu and joan. yay for olive garden and the never ending pasta bowl. and cheers to us for being asian and sharing our food all the time :) haah.. jeff suggested we give our leftovers to a homeless guy standing outside the restaurant and we figured why not. he needed it more than we did, although his pot belly would say otherwise :P we joked how it was from "all the carbs he was eating from standing outside olive garden" :P and then i remembered how i had two bits of half eaten breadstick in my box of leftovers. oops, that will probably seem kind of gross, but hey i wasn't intending on giving it to anyone when i did that :P we did a little shopping at expo - i helped my sister pick out a new mirror for her bathroom.. yay!!! her house is coming together so nicely :) it's purrtty. and then to best buy.. heheh.. the simple life on dvd for $5.99. awesome :) and a bunch of other dvd's. haha.. i am such a sucker for... everything. i almost bought seasons 1-4 of saved by the bell, but my sister stopped me.. which was probably a good thing :) then i sped off to work and worked two ice hockey games. which was fun, because sometimes i like doing something other than inline.. but sucky because i got yelled at and harassed by stupid people. dumb dumb dumb. i got yelled at a few times on tuesday, but i guess since i see them every week, they're a little nicer to me. oh well.. whatever.. people are just stupid sometimes.

sunday we were supposed to go to disneyland during the day, but the guy who was supposed to cover my shift at work never showed up, so i felt bad and delayed the fun and went to work for a few hours, left early and went to disneyland with beth and nicole :) we ate dinner, marveled at the redecorated haunted mansion for nightmare before christmas - which is pretty genious because it's halloween and christmas without having to change anything. nicole and beth gabbed about all the amazing art and facts about italy. we rode it's a small world, indiana jones and i finally got to go on the tea cups.. yay! haha.. and beth went on splash mountain with me. we got out just in time to catch the fireworks show (that's what they were all camping out for nicole.. not fantasmic :P) and did a little bit of shopping on main street. the heinous girl from rainforest wanted a receipt when i went to ask for validation. when did they start the crackdown? boo them. it was a fun fun night, except for the sakura couldn't come :( and beth and i got a little lost on the way home... oops.. but we were alright. we missed the 91 ... and we could have just got off and got the on the freeway going the other way.. except we just saw a huge car accident on the other side which caused a huge traffic jam.. so we just had to stop and pull out the map and figure out side streets. not too shabby.

tonight is softball.. apparently we're playing the best team in the league (which i thought we already had when we got our asses kicked in previous games.. but i guess i'll just have to prepare for slaughter tonight), tuesday is work, and thursday is the play. (i hope someone will come this week!) i'll probably take another week or two of break and go back to the gap. or maybe i'll get a job before then! (hah.. was that a joke?) but anyhoo....... maybe it's time to get back to work. blah blah blah.

happy columbus day.

so i don't know what it is about asian adults and their need to be so frank with other asian people. i mean.. my parents always say a lot of crap, but my mom always spews some crap like "oh it's because i love you... i'll tell you the truth like your friends won't." with that said...

yesterday went to the last tech before we open tomorrow. i went straight from work so that i could be "early" but traffic and trying to find parking made sure that i wasn't too early. i got there and checked in and decided to get some stuff to eat. so i went to the pizza place because the chicken place was closed for some reason and got other people food as well. then i stopped into this store that has snacks and weird "hollywood" souvenirs for tourists and junk. it's run by this korean couple and today the korean man was there. i walk in carrying two small boxes of pizza and a bag. and i ask him if i can set it on the counter while i get some drinks. and he makes some conversation...

korean man: "are you chinese?"
me: "yes"
korean man: "you're very beautiful"

or at least that's what i thought he said.. i wouldn't second guess my hearing except for what he said after that.

me: (laughs) "oh thanks"
korean man: "how old are you?"
me: a little creeped hoping he doesn't ask me out or something "twenty two"
korean man: "ahh.. only twenty two?"
me: courtesy laugh.. "yes"
korean man: "you need more diet" (making large hand gestures demonstrating my obesity)
me: *blink* *pause*.. another courtesy laugh.

what the heck was i supposed to say? i mean.. i guess i supposed i could say "you're right" or "i know" or "shove it asshole" .. but i had no idea. like he made me feel good with that first compliment and then just shot it down like it was open season on my self-esteem. did he think that all those pizza boxes and bags of food and two drinks were all for me? or is that just how older asian people are with the "younger generation." i know my mom's friends used to say stuff like that to my sister and she would be really upset, but never complete strangers. and it's not like he was trying to be mean... i'm sure he fully expects me to come into his store again tonight.. he asked me where i lived, if i was a visitor.. or whatever. or maybe he felt he could be that frank since he'd never see me again. i should go in there every thursday from now on... who knows. it's a little embarassing telling you all this, but it's also a little funny as well. so have a laugh at my expense.

so finally i get around to posting this. come see the play i'm stage managing!! i know i'm not actually "in it" but it would still be kind of cool to have friends there telling me how great i was and showering me with gifts. so then i can say "take that actors.. my stage managing brings all the friends to the yard" right. kidding though.. no gifts necessary.. just you! consider it your birthday present to me.

it's called "here come the fosters" it's the "2nd episode" and it's like a mock tv sitcom from the 80's. it's super funny, so i think you guys should ALL come and watch. see my amazing skills in pressing light and sound buttons :P

here come the fosters - episode 2
theatre/theatre
6425 hollywood blvd., theatre b
(btwn wilcox and cahuenga)
hollywood, ca
thursdays 8pm (oct 7, 14, 21 nov 4, 11, 18 dec 2, 9, 16)

tickets: $15
reservation/ticket line: 323)988.4300

let me know if you have any questions! come come come!!

happy birthday sakura!!

*if i wasn't such a lazy ass i'd have scanned the photo booth pictures of us and put those instead. maybe i will later

i just totally majorly fucked up. before nicole left for italy she put me in charge of registering for this mouseplanet thing we wanted to go to. i said that we should register before she leaves, just to make sure it's all taken care of. those are possibly the smartest words i've uttered, but yet i didn't listen to myself. last week i checked and the registration fee had gone up from $12 to $20. dammit. there was an $8 i was thinking about eating for my 'teammates' since it was sort of my bad i didn't remember. i thought about what a good teamname would be and sort of forgot about it again. i didn't even think about the possibility of it getting full. who knew these things were so popular. not me... but i'm also quite dumb. so yea.. i checked today.. and it's full. i fucking suck right now. maybe beth is right.. i am totally unrealiable and an unpleasant person. rad. and everyone laughs at me because they think whenever i say a time to meet.. it means 1 hour later. no wonder i'm such a loser. grr.

happy october! well a few days late, but you get the point.. whatever.

today started off to be a good day... this morning i woke up a little earlier to get to work at a decent time.. but i dillydallied a little and then got a phone call from NICOLE IN ITALY!! yay!!! i was sad because i missed her phone call on friday due to my not getting reception at work. boo.. plus since they changed my desk i don't get any of my phone calls since they haven't transferred the line yet. argh. oh well.. we chatted for 30 minutes while i was supposed to be at work (oops).. but it was nice chatting with her.. she told me how hot her tour guide was, how great the italian men are and how she's whoring it up and down and all around town. just kidding on that last part. as we were getting off the phone i screamed "hook up with some guys!" and she said okay. i expect exciting stories when she comes back :P

i interviewed for this pretty big special effects company and didn't get the job. boo hoo hoo... argh.. i hate this. i feel like it's never going to happen.. i should just give up and work at the gap for the rest of my life. or fine some clerk or cold calling job somewhere. totally unrelated to anything i want to do. how do people make it.. it is even worth. just like that msn article said.. do what you love and you'll starve. blech.

i am stage managing the play again. they called and really needed someone.. and since nothing else is working out right now.. i said okay. it's fun and funny.. you guys should come out and see it (if you're in the LA area).. hopefully everyone will come out. i know i'm not actually in it (on stage/acting etc).. but it would still mean a lot to me if you came. and the show isn't bad.. so there's a plus. i'll post more info later.. or ask me! :)

i don't really follow baseball that well.. but i think it's cool that there's a chance that it could be a "freeway world series" or whatever they call it. dodgers and angels.. yay for so.cal pride! but then it's harder to choose who to root for.. haha.. maybe the one with the cuter team. jk.

friday a bunch of us girls went out for sakura's early birthday celebration in hermosa. it was a lot of fun :) we drank those big fish bowl size buckets of mixed drinks.. and danced a lot. we went to the union cattle for sakura to ride the bull but didn't quite make it all the way to the bull.. oh well.. she promised next time! it was a good time. except when i woke up at 6am feeling like my stomach was going to hurl itself out of my body. oh my.. i felt so horrendous for a good hour. i stood over the toilet and up against a trash can for a good while, as a preemptive measure.. but nothing came out. i forced down some water, and finally managed to get back to sleep and woke up at 9am feeling great. thank god for water :P i was so relieved that i was feeling really good when i woke back up though. went to rehearsal and then to hang out with my sister. whenever i hang out with her now we always go shopping and i always end up spending a TON of money. i'm not in debt, but i'm not saving any money.. but i have lots of cute stuff! hah. we ate at this greek place on 3rd street, which was pretty yummy but pricey.. went back to chill at her place and played a little bit of poker. after losing all my chips i went over to venice to celebrate luz/vi's birthday! i don't see her all that often because she's in santa barbara now.. mostly just for birthdays.. but it was fun hanging out with her and her lifeguarding friends :) the sucky part is that i didn't notice the parking lot sign that said no parking from 11pm-5am. funny thing is that i parked in that lot at 11:48.. shouldn't they close it or something? damn.. that's a $45 fee for being a dumbass.

sunday i napped, ate, shopped a little, browsed the sunday ads and went to tech rehearsal. since i came into the show a lot later, it's harder to adjust because i don't know everything so well. i'm losing a night of tech for softball too.. i hope wednesday's tech isn't too painful. the booth is different too and a little spread out, and there's a lot more light cues than i anticipated.. i hope i can pull them all off. i guess that's my job right? we'll see how it goes tonight... i'm going up to test some stuff out and then coming back in time for the game. i hope we don't lose, but i think we're playing a really good team again. i've lost a lot of confidence in my abilities as a pitcher, and i keep having really awful flashes of me getting hit in the face/head and going blind/getting knocked out/brain damage/dying. that doesn't help too much. i gotta get over the hump.

it's almost halloween. almost a year since i've had this temp job. it's funny how so many things can change in a year... and yet some other things don't. oh well.. life is change huh? haha.. stupid ICON motivational speaker.. it's so cheesy.. but so memorable. i'm hungry.. and i want to go home to sleep. anyone want to be my sugar daddy?