this is funny.. stole this off a girl from work's signature in her email:

All-Time Great NHL Goalie: Jacques Plante - "How would you like a job where, every time you make a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo?"

and then i imagine if there was a big red light above my desk and every time i made a mistake it'd go off. sad... it'd be like a disco in here.

this random caller guy called and was trying to surf for information that i totally didn't have. and then he tried to make feel stupid like i didn't know info about my company. but he was totally wrong.. so i layed the smack down. hell yea.

so sad. i heard rumors about them breaking up awhile ago.. but thought it would wash away like the nick and jessica rumors. but i guess not. men can be cheating fools. sophia bush is so pretty too... but i guess they're just both sooo young. i wonder what it will do to the show!

i chatted with my sis today.. (shh.. don't tell my mom :P) but it was good to talk to her. my dad made me sad and told me that i shouldn't go to taiwan and that it wasn't important, and that i'd see them all when they came home anyways. but.. my dad likes to downplay a lot of things, or we just have different ideas of what's "important".. so i have to learn to discount a lot of things he says and not take it personally i guess? but it still makes me sad to think about it. but my sister wants me there, and jake TOTALLY wants me there, and my mom does too. so my dad is just a nut (as seen in previous post). after chatting with my sis i am really excited to go.. i just have to set the dates, which i thought i did, but now i'm not sure. my sister totally misses mexican food, she even had dreams about going to the ghettos of taiwan to try and find real mexican food but didn't get any because it was too scary. and then we showed up at the door full from eating too many tacos and she gets really sad. hahahaha.. i guess it was more like a nightmare. i wish i could like take carne asada, carnitas and gyros to her... but i don't know if i'd make it past customs and if they'd spoil or not. haha.. but she has put in a request for krispy kremes :P

this week i am a total laze. at work, at home, at everything. but it is very nice :)

i am unnaturally and unhealthily excited about the new TWO STORY target they are building. i heard a rumor it was going to be 24 hours, but that's less likely to be true. BUT.. i love the big windows and how it looks almost futuristic inside, but maybe that's only from far away. but.. i am excited enough to sit in an empty parking lot late at night to snap some photos. (after a movie.. i didn't make a special trip JUST to take pictures, i ain't THAT crazy!) although i will tell you that i did not like how they closed the entrance to the galleria from behind good guys so that i had to go ALL away around past the cemetary. ugh.. not a fan.

but it's a giant target, even close than the other 2 that are already close to my house and new, shiny and spectacular, so i will forgive.

okay.. sorry i am just rambling now. did a lot of sleeping and eating this weekend. sounds like a good weekend eh? although it's not where i have the tivo set up so last night i stayed up a little late catching up on some of the season premieres. i totally paid for it this morning though. argh.. but desperate housewives was really good, kind of creepy at the end. i don't know whether to thank or curse my sister for getting me hooked on that show. :P

lost again in softball last night. but we're totally out of our league.. so i kind of just expect it to happen.. which makes it less of a dissapointment for me when we lose. other people.. i can't really say.. but some people just don't have fun. which i totally understand, but they also give up trying, or maybe just half ass it.. and then i say.. you have no reason to complain. i dunno.. it was 24-1 (boo), so the team scored the same amount of runs as the team last week, but we played 5 innings, meaning they didn't score the maximum amount of runs each inning (6).. so that's slightly better than getting trounced on each inning right? :P i dunno.. we lost all the time before.. and i think i've come to feel like.. whether we lose by a lot or a little.. it's always the same dissapointment. in fact.. when we lose by one or two.. it's even worse! it's harder because you always think.. "if i had only done that..." one thing that would have made the little difference in the one run.. then you could have tied and gone on to win. when we lose by 20+ points.. i know that it's not in our control, and so i can't feel bad about it. hahaha.. it just becomes funny. makes sense right? or am i just making excuses. :P anyways..we'll have more of a complete team and some of our bigger hitters/good players all there this week, so maybe it will be better. although they always seem to be right where it's hit.. as where we're NEVER in the right place. haha.. how does that happen?

i'm tired.. only 2 more hrs.. this day has flown by a little better than most.. so i am grateful for that. i think i might just veg out tonight. anyone want to come join? :)

i'm an aunt!!!

hi baby <3

funny conversation with my dad:

me: did you do all the cleaning?
my dad: no
me: who did all the cleaning then?
my dad: me!
me: but you just said you didn't do it
my dad: i dunno.

hahah.. strange.

my dad says he has to go into work tomorrow and do overtime. and then he said "i gotta make some milk money!" but the milk ain't for me! ;P

can i tell you how i almost just died? and i'm totally not exaggerating either. okay fine.. maybe not died.. but definitely could have seriously injured myself, but there was definitely that possibility of death. i hope it's not karma because i hadn't done anything seriously wrong, but maybe that's why nothing bad happened. anyhow.. i went to a small shindig at nicole's work tonight and was driving home up the 405.. just wanting to get home as soon as possible, especially because i have to go into work early tomorrow. yea i know.. so i should waste my time typing this out... but i had to. so anyways.. i'm going a little faster than i usually do. 85 or so. sometimes i'd catch myself doing 90 and then slow back to 80 and progress up to 85. i was around hawthorne/el segundo, a little bit before the 105, driving in the left most lane... for speedy people :P so all of a sudden i see this BLACK car WITH NO LIGHTS ON, that is facing backwards at a 45 degree angle to the barrier, in the middle of the carpool and the left lane... the lane that i am in. uh.oh. so i immediately slam on my brakes and hear the loud screech and wailing of my tires, so i get scared for a second because the sound is so bad, but i realize (or at least i think) that there are cars next to me so i can't really swerve and i have no choice to break hard like my life depends on it.. because it does. so i brake again, loud screech of the tires, over the sound of my radio, and i am coming so close to the car that i swear that i'm still going to hit it. i move over in to the next lane a little bit and squuuuuueeeeeze past the car and i was probably going fast but i felt like it was slow-mo and at the next moment that i'm totally going to grind into the car and start spinning or something. and at the same time that i am slowing down i see all these cars and headlights flying around and past me. and all of that happened in 8 seconds or so. i wonder what the drivers in the other cars are thinking, what the sight looked like, i wonder what the guy in the car thought.. or if there way even a guy, and i wonder if i went back if i could see tire marks on the freeway. as i was driving away i thought i saw the car's headlight turn on and start to move fully into the carpool lane (only being a death trap for one lane as opposed to two). i got a little mad like.. "wtf man.. you just decide to do that now?" but ultimately i am REALLY lucky. someone was watching out for me. i am lucky that i wasn't more tired or distracted so that i noticed the car in time to do something about it. i'm lucky that my brakes and tires are in a good enough shape that i could prevent the accident from happening. i'm lucky that i could think quickly enough and my reflexes were quick enough to make it around that car. i'm lucky that the check engine light on in my car hasn't meant worse things for me (even though i JUST got my car back from the mechanic). i'm lucky that no other cars behind me totally rear ended me as i was braking and not only slammed me from the back, but could have slammed me into the car in front and hit other cars from the backlash. or i'm even lucky that it wasn't raining and the roads weren't slick because then i'd probably have no chance to stop in time. i didn't see my life flash before my eyes. maybe it's just a myth, or maybe there wasn't enough time, or maybe it only happens when you're really going to die and be hurt and it wasn't going to happen this time. who knows.. but i was totally shaken up and drove 55-65mph the rest of the way home. (not in the left lane.. i wasn't annoying!) but now i can totally see in my head the news spots of what could have been in the worst case scenario.

so be careful kids. drive safe.. especially late at night when you "think" that no one else is around and you just want to get home. i totally sound like a PSA, and i might be a hypocrite in a few days when i start speeding again. but i'd still like to say that i'm a safe driver.. but anyways.. stay safe.. those roads and dumb drivers can be a scary place.

********
side note: about the emergency landing at LAX today.. i was listening to the radio and i find it amusing, yet kind of cool, how all the passengers were watching the news and essentially watching themselves and their own troubled plane on tv because jet blue has individual tv's with live cable feed. seems kind of freaky, but they said that it actually calmed them down because they knew exactly what was going on. interesting.

k.. maybe it's finally time to update. i talk to linh everyday, what possibly could she need to read this for? :P but i guess reading something (even if it's stuff you already know) still gives you something to do at work. so here goes.. but there's not really much to say i guess. i'm not in the blogative mood.

my sister's baby's due date is this week supposedly.. so we'll see. each day i am waiting for a phone call or email saying "your sister has gone into labor!!" hahaa.. not yet. this guy who works here's wife just came with their baby girl. she's so cute! (and you should see all the girls (and guys!) go gaga over the baby.) man oh man.. hurry already baby!! just kidding.. hahahah. i reserved my plane ticket to go visit and i have to put the vacation request in. i'm sure it won't be a problem, but i wanted to wait until i know exactly when i need to be there, and then factor in jetlag and all that junk. but i set the reservation so at least i have that. sucks though that i might be missing our company halloween party which i hear is always so fun. i'm kind of over missing it just because people here probably get SO into dressing up and their really creative artistic costumes. and i'm so like ready to just grab a white sheet and be a ghost. haha.. so lame. plus.. you never want to miss an opportunity to bond with your co-workers and lots and lots of alcohol. hahaha

so i went to a family friend's wedding in place of my mom since she is in taiwan.. and it was cute. not as good as my sisters!! hahah.. jk.. i just had to say that. but heck.. you can't compare any weddings to my sisters. plus.. since i didn't really know them.. it's harder to be elated you know? but.. when she walked down the aisle with her dad to the same song as in my sister's wedding (pachebel's canon in d) i got a little choked up. i don't know why.. it was so weird.. what's happening to me?!! :P after the ceremony was the drinks/hor'deurves and dinner part. 10 course chinese meal! but.. i have decided that they are a gargatuan waste of food and money. even if you only eat a little, you are still so full by the 5th or 6th course, and then the "good stuff" at the end like the fish, rice or crab are kind of just a waste. BUT.. the highlight of the wedding for me was that they had a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. man oh man.. the whole lobby smelled like chocolate, and i just thought it was really good cake. but i turned the corner and there it was! *gasp*... whoo!! i had seen them online before.. i think beth showed me. but it doesn't compare to seeing them in person. and eating them. there was strawberries, pineapple and bananas, and then brownies, rice krispie treats, and angel food to put on skewers and dips into the chocolate fountain. YUM. if wish i had actually seen it in person so that i could have gotten one for my sister's reception. or even her baby shower!! haah.. next time. maybe for my birthday. hahaha.. jk. that's a little too extravagant.

we've been playing softball. same team name (the menacers) sorry.. haven't changed it to "the ministers" yet. haha.. but a lot of new people. alot of people that i recruited at work. aha. and we're also in a different league. a higher up league. and i know what you're thinking... how come the team that took 5th place went up to the higher league? haha.. we're all thinking that too. it's because i registered too "late" and all the spots were taken. now we just get our asses whooped everyweek and run around like maniacs. never before have i been so glad for the 6 run/inning cap. haha.. i'm hoping the season will somehow get better or be okay. but i guess we also just suck it up and play and try to have fun anyways :P we go to the batting cages a little bit, which is fun too. so yea. that's that. go menacers :P (for the record i'm not exaggerating.. first game score was like 40-1 - something horrific like that.. at least 30+, second game score was 24-3.. go team!)

last sunday sakura invited us out to the taste of santa monica! it was so fun!! and SO MUCH FOOD. there like 30-40 restaurants doling out their goods, and we somehow managed to sample some from each booth. okay.. that's a lie.. i didn't eat some of the stuff.. but only because i didn't like it.. like raw oyster shooters or gaspacho... totally not my thing.

but i did eat a whole damn lot.. and it was almost painful. above are just a few of the faves :) you get to that point where you've been eating so much that nothing really tastes good anymore. well sort of. haha. but it was fun and i'd definitely do it again.. and again :)



last night i went to carlene's portfolio show. yay! it was kind of like all the students who were graduating, showcasing their work, inviting their friends, and hopefully impressing some potential employers. it was fun and interesting to see all the different student's works. also to see the different way people acted and watch how some of the students acted towards you (or other people) when they assumed whether or not you were important. how lame. i liked carlene's presentation the best because it was great looking and professional, and well lit, but not in a tacky manner (aka.. book lights), but also she was friendly and took time with everyone, not just the people who seemed important. cuz really the most important people go incognito :) unless their head is just huge and have to toot their own horn of self importance. hahah. but then again.. if you're tooting your own horn.... anyhoo. nicole and carlene's parents are super awesome... (cue parent trap theme song).. ahhaha.. sorry.. running joke of the night. but seriously.. they're parents are so cute and nice and friendly and interact so well with their friends. maybe i just think this way because they're not "my parents" hahah. carlene's dad brought plants and chocolate for her display... hahah.. and bought everyone drinks :P i continually stalked the servers with food trays and scarfed down an assorted array of spinach and cheese stuffed mushrooms, meatballs, chicken, tartlettes, and mini tostadas. yum!! nicole and i were joking about how we should wear our work badges and go harass some students... ahaha.. well not harass.. but just uhh.. play pretend :P but of course we didn't.. but i did have fun looking at the different booths and even grabbed a few reels and dropped them off to our recruiter. how funny would it be if some of these people got hired. not funny.. but i'd tell them they owe me some sort of manager's fee. ahaha.. jk. after that was dinner at BJ's... yum!!! too bad we met the bitchiest hostess ever! if it was my party i totally would have told everyone to go somewhere else. and do that whole i love lucy thing where she dresses up as different characters and pretends to leave because ricky wasn't playing at the club.. but instead it would be actual people .. a friggin party of 30! but nonetheless..we stayed and had our fill of 10 pizza's and 4 pizookie platters. we ate until it was ready to "roll" home. and i mean literally and not gangster like speak. but it was definitely a lot of fun and we got a sneak peak of the amount of "crunk" carlene will be on saturday. hahah.

this is just all the stuff that i have pictures of (sans softball).. but not much else. work and junk. slowly starting to go back to working the 2nd job, and trying to find how to mesh job #3 in. oh.. went out labor day weekend to hermosa. and i somehow found myself riding the bull (oh i guess i have a picture of this too.) haha.. linh "tricked me" .. and i was kind of mad because you think that everyone just wants you to do it so they can laugh at you. but then you just learn to laugh at yourself and then it's okay.. i guess. hahah.. i guess you just have to get over the fear of riding it once, and then you just want to be better at it and not fall off immediately after you get on so that when it becomes second nature :P next time you're totally riding it linh. haha. aside from being super sick last week, not much else. some co-workers of mine saw pierce brosnan in a restaurant down the street yesterday :P and i had busy bee and el tarasco in a 48 hr period. (yum), got totally sunburnt from taste of santa monica because my dumbass wanted a "tan".. now i'm in a little bit of excruciating pain. constantly applying aloe in hopes that i don't peel.. at least too badly. went to cabo cantina on monday for happy hour with linh and tony... which was exciting because working until 7pm you pretty much never get happy hour.. but theirs is until 8!! whoo hoo!! buy one get one free margaritas and nachos that are super yummy.. we may have found a new watering hole :) so that is my life in a nutshell. this week is waiting for my new nephew (!!!!!), lucky strike for carlene's birthday and possibly disneyland, and then softball. laundry, sleeping and watching tv all packed in there somewhere. oh.. right now it's time to go see who won big brother 6.. but it's one of the "nerd herd" so i'm not really excited .. bah.

gosh can you believe it's almost october!!!???

stolen from IMDB's quote of the day:

"Men are like parking spaces: all the good ones are taken, and the available ones are handicapped."

hehe.

nicole is going out to see my boyfriend tonight. dang it!! damn this sickness.

i feel like i'm constantly making the wrong decisions. should i be stronger? should i just know what to do? i constantly don't believe in myself enough. maybe all i'm lacking is self-confidence, but i don't want to grab too many things... but i can't just stick to the same things and "hope" that they work out. i need to be afraid to not let go. but what if you let go too early? and what if you let go too late? how come some people just seem to know? they always seem to get it right.. trying new things can be good maybe....... i don't know.

so confused. and i feel like my throat is going to collapse. gah.

it's really miserable being sick in the summer. for all the obvious reason that being sick sucks.. and then some. when you are little and it's summer vacation it sucks more because you can't play with all your friends. when you're "grown up" it might be nice if you get to miss work.. but then you have that feeling of being a slacker, or you're just too miserable to enjoy the fact that you're not working. but.. what sucks about it being summertime.. is that it's SO hot outside and nice and the sun is shining all you want to do is go out and tan your arms, and it's hot and sweaty.. but yet you're so cold inside that you wear your sweaters and pants. you can never decide if you're hot or cold and keep taking off and putting back on that jacket. you toss around in your bed, not being able to sleep, sweating, but yet you need all your blankets because you keep getting chills. the second you take your jacket off/kick off the blankets you are immediately cold, and then when you put them back on, you are sweating so bad. it's a vicious vicious cycle. this is all inaddition to the phlegm, the congestion, the dripping snot, and the earaches... oh man.. i feel so attractive right now. i ache and i'm totally dragging ass. i feel kind of pathetic.. and i hope i don't look as bad as i feel. at least this gives me an excuse to wear my cute new sweater from the gap, and my scarf. i totally look all east coast fall... too bad i'm in the west coast and it's perpetually summer. i mean.. not too bad.. just too bad right now. not that i will complain it's super nice out today. i just keep getting strange looks for my thick sweater and scarf around my neck. some of them are like pitiful poor you looks.. i can't decide whether i appreciate those or not. but i guess i shouldn't sympathy in the gift horse's mouth.. or whatever that saying is (and i added stuff to it.. i know there's nothing about sympathy in that saying).. but so yea. anyways.. i still have 6 hrs to go or so.. i was going to go home to organize stuff beth & co's garage sale this weekend (who wants to buy our junk?!) buti think i'm far too lazy to go back night #5 in a row and organize stuff. it might just have to wait until tomorrow. sorry babe...

new season of softball starts this weekend... hope that it's good!! i'm kind of scared because i went to the meeting and it was all these big guys. as the recreation director so succinctly described them "joey gorrillas".. haha.. that's who we play against. hoo-ray. well i actually haven't seen the teams.. i hear some of them are above us, and some "should" be in the same level. i hope.. *cross your fingers*.. i just don't want to get killed. cuz that's no fun. and no more getting hurt!!

bah.. it's only 1pm.. i was hoping blogging would kill some more time. damn me for typing so fast. umm... my mom left for taiwan last night. it's funny how she always waits until the very last minute to get stuff together. it's another one of those things you hate about yourself, but you can't help. can't teach an old dog new tricks eh? at least she didn't miss her flight, that's the most important part. i was thinking today about my sister having a baby. haha.. kind of weird. i'm gonna be an aunt. my parents are going to be grandparents.... so.. surreal!! hahah.. i guess i don't really know what to expect. i like babies.. and they're super cute... but i was walking around the baby aisles of target and there was so many baby things.. so overwhelming! and it's not even my baby. i had to get out of there fast. hahah.. and then i was surrounding by all these screaming bratty children... and you always say "my child won't be like that" i wonder how much control parents have over whether or not their baby is a "good baby".. like not behaviour wise.. but like fussyness, crying.. like is there much that you can do/control? well we will soon find out.

i hope my sister has a girl next... so i can buy tons of cute hello kitty stuff and cute pink clothes. jk. it'll be interesting to have a boy since there are like no boys in our family...

okay.. at this point.. i'm just rambling. nothing interesting to say whatsoever. so i'll stop the misery now.

ohhhhh 7pm hurry and come!

i might die of embarassment right here...

from beth's comment in the previous post

"you might hate me for writing this, but i was digging through my piles of old cki stuff and i found your ltg letter of introduction with your special paradise letterhead and cloud stock paper. it is quite a gem, and it went in the "save" pile. here are some of my favorite lines:

"I'm a totally happy and friendly person who has tons of energy."

"I'm also employed at the GAP and I love it because I enjoy interacting with the public because I am the biggest people-person."

also: "Overall I want to be the best Lieutenant Governor I can be, a great district board member, and role model and a Circle K cheerleader."

aww, you sound so full of enthusiasm! we were so young, so excited, lol. not that you've lost your vigor and spirit or anything, because last time i checked you were still pretty energetic about the things you care about. but we were all so blissfully giddily in love with circle k, so thrilled about serving on the board. it cracks me up to think about it.

it's a real coming of age story.

anyway. you were a damn good ltg, the best of the best, in spite of, or maybe because of that cheery idealism. i thought maybe it might make you laugh to remember how cute you once were.


beth"

oh my god.. did i really write those things? and publicly distribute them? haahah... i wish i could dig out beth's letter and see what kind of "excited to be convention chair-ey" things she wrote... but i missed that mtg and thus didn't get any letters. sad... at least i wasn't present at the meeting for them to personally humilate me as they read that letter. wow.. i guess i can't really say anything. i found my key club literature when i ran for secretary ... same 'ol cheesy barfness. hahahaha.

"thanks" for the memories beth :P payback is a bitch. just kidding. it made me... do a half crooked smile/squirm. i'm going to go hide now.

*random thoughts*

- i was walking through the parking lot and passed by this saturn and had this overwhelming urge to just kick it as hard as i could to see if the door would pop back out. hehehehe... i didn't though.. i'm not a hooligan.

- i'm all for helping out and donating for the Katrina relief. BUT.. if they come out with Katrina wristbands or those ribbon car sticker things.. i might just barf a little.

"i'm never washing my arms again"

thanks to nicole for a FAB night last night... i know i totally missed out two weeks ago, and i've wanted to go out with you ever since you left that creepy message on my voicemail "next thursday night .... YOU'RE MINE".. huh?

anyways.. nicole is hardly ever wrong about going out.. and hollywood is a good fun place to be. especially when filled with middle school crushes. i was so giddy, nicole did everything she could from letting my confess my undying love and keeping her from dying of embarassment (like that time in the elevator.....) she says baby steps, but i say when he touched me i should have grabbed him and started making out with him... or something. hahah.. can you really picture me EVER doing that? hahaha.. and i could hear nicole giggling/snickering in the background. thanks nicole. :P i am still a little giddy. .... how sad is that?

the night ended with bacon wrapped hotdogs on the street and beef burritos at the 24 hour mexican food place (note to self.. next time get the carnitas or carne asada.. beef.. not so great, super salty.) and then some quality bonding, screenings, and conversations :) yay for nicole!!! she is AWESOME.

*and bonus... it wasn't too hard getting up for work this morning :) easier than yesterday at least. maybe it gets easier as you go out more and get more used to it.

the night before i went out with ryan to his fav local bar, the gaslite. a few drinks, a bit of free popcorn, and some karaoke.

a) ryan loves karaoke.. and loved his two songs. this girl even told me that he was really good.. (but she didn't talk to him at all afterwards beth.. I SWEAR :P)
b) wow.. do i suck bad at karaoke

i'm starting to get a little bit tired today. yay for the 3 day weekend. i hope maybe i can get out a little early today :) that would nice. i can't figure out if i want to chill or go out this weekend.. haha.. i guess we'll just have to see how it goes.

haHA... dirty dancing is on tv again. :) vh1's "movies that rock"... YEA IT DOES.

so i can't really say in so many words "my feelings" about Katrina, because really.. it seems like i ought to not even have any as a "sheltered" west coaster. but i was talking to a friend at work who went to tulane, and has lots of friends and family in new orleans. she's pretty down just because she hasn't heard from some of them, and of course the aftermath of a city she went to school in, and where her friends and relatives live... not so pretty. i was lucky enough to be able to go visit and hang out in baton rouge and new orleans a few years ago for mardi gras, and i'm not trying to make it about me.. but i definitely just took it all for granted being there. just like i thought nothing of it when i visited the world trade center in new york. you should appreciate what you have i guess.. not trying to preach or be a martyr or anything.. just babbling. i know what i'm feeling is so insignificant to so many others... i was watching the news today during my break.. and it's so surreal to see and watch. like 9/11 when you thought it was a movie, because great devastation like this is something you feel like is constructed for theatre.

i read this post that was forwarded to me at work.. and a small excerpt.. but you should read the whole thing...

Drove into HELL (New Orleans) last night... Sensitive types stay out
"Anyway we get to the city and it looks like a freaking war zone. The best visual I can give is the movie "Blackhawk Down" when all the Somalians are rushing the city. They are people EVERYWHERE, they are pissed off, and all have weapons, 2X4's, Axes, and guns. If this wasn't bad enough we are 2 white boys in a truck in a sea several hundred armed pissed off blacks. There wasn't a white person to be found. I couldn't get over the little 8-10yr old kids with weapons, I ever saw one carry a claw hammer!"

and then a picture i pulled off bobby schroder's blog



and then his post as well.. another first hand account...
"I don't know what's going to happen next. We are homeless, unemployed, along with about a million other people. We have about three to four pairs of clothes, some shoes, our end of August paychecks, and the few irreplaceable things we were able to cram into our cars. And compared to some people we know, we have a lot."

everyone has their own tragedies and moments of sadness. i don't think that one person's sorrow is any less than someone else's (although i know that can be argued).. it's hard because i bet a lot of these people never thought it would happen to them. i stumbled upon an older post of bobby's about another tropical storm.. where there was flooding and $30million dollars worth of damage, and i bet at that time they thought that was bad. i knew bobby through circle k, and i'm sure he doesn't remember the one or two times we met.. but i do feel bad for him and glad that at least he's "okay."

there's a fund that kiwanis has set up to help out Katrina victims. although it says it'll be going toward the children. i don't know if that's only towards children and if that makes it better or not.. but the info is here i'd probably donate there, just because it's not as advertised as red cross, and more "related" to me... i'd like to donate to clubs or something that were doing something.. but i bet any club that is close enough to do something has enough to worry about. i'm sure something will pop up though.

lastly.. here's a blog that i found off my homepage. did read a lot of it, but it has some pictures. interesting stuff: dancing with katrina

watching dirty dancing on abc family. most annoying is the cuts and the commercials. i should just go home and get my dvd... but i love love LOVE this movie so much. i can't even explain it. i'm giddy with giggles watching this movie.

"nobody puts baby in a corner!"

man oh man.. i just watched tonight's big brother episode on tivo. i have never laughed so hard when someone was sobbing... sure.. that sounds kind of mean.. but i REALLY dislike this certain alliance on the show .. "the frienship" and they were so mad when another girl got "america's choice phone call". admittedly.. the phone call was kind of dumb.. but SO funny in the fact that it made the other girl so upset. i mean.. if i hated someone and they got all the prizes, and then a meaningless phone call.. i'd be pissed too. BUT.. since the girl was crying is super annoying, it was hilarious.

watching a carson daly that i tivo'ed with michael vartan (=SO HOT) and ben lee = yay for catch my disease!! thanks to beth, kelly and isaac/pete/saba/tim/etc etc for covering and introducing me to the song :) carson daly is really funny too. when he introduced michael vartan.. of course all the girls in the audience were going crazy for him. and he's like, "You know it's funny because instinctively I just want to say like 'here's britney spears at #4.' Like when I hear screams like that, it sends me back....." hahaha.. so funny carson.

la di da.. waiting for my laundry to be done drying....

tomorrow i go back to my "normal" job instead of the substituting stint. it's a little sad because it's a different pace, different people. i'll miss interacting with the clients as much, and of course the people in the department. but of course it's not like i won't see them ever... i'll still see them everyday. hahaha.. but it's nice that everyone in my own side of the street has been missing me. hahaha.. i know.. narcissist. :)

i have to decide if i want still work at el gap-o and hockey. i mean.. more so one than the other.. just because of availibility reasons. do i want to work 7 days a week? i don't really "need" to.. but extra cash and something to do is always nice. but lounging around and being have to have free time is also nice. i should probably scale it back a bit, but i do always wish i can do everything. i have a few more days to think about it maybe. the perks, the plusses, the minuses, and the stress.

not much besides that. trying to clean stuff for the garage sale... organizing softball again.. yay menacers!! :) and pictures of coldplay are up.. not that great cuz i was pretty far. and pictures of us in hermosa and topless bull rider are up ... let me know if you want to see them (drea.. i'll email you the link so we can compare "our" girls! :P), they're hidden and password protected :P

i was watching some news of Katrina today and yesterday at work. YIKES. it makes me realize how lucky i am to live in so.cal. i've never had to deal with hurricanes/tornados/typhoons and weather of that sort. sure we have the earthquakes and the fires, but it seems like.. well. i don't want to say anything to jinx it... but i can't really imagine all of that just.... there's NOTHING that anyone can do. i don't know that many people in that area, and the ones i do know i don't really keep in touch with much anymore.. but i feel really bad for everyone out there. i heard that Katrina may be tearing up through ohio, and my aunt lives there, so maybe it will start to hit closer to home. but i already feel really bad. i wish i could do something (besides just the monetary thing)... but it's all so.. helpless. i'm at a loss for words.. sorry if i sounded ignorant.

whoo!! laundry beeped... hope it's done. see ya later gators!

i am strangely addicted to the little league world series. i told beth that i was watching it and she was like "why are you watching it?" and ryan replies "because jean loves baseball"... you know what.. that's not even it because at the same time as the LLWS was on, the new york mets vs. san fran giants game was on, and i had zero interest in watching that game. a few weeks ago i watched some women's softball.. i don't remember if it was pro or college, but that was interesting too. but baseball? i'll pass... it's really strange. i'm a little sad that they're not showing the japan vs. curacao game on network tv, since i'm in torrance and i can't watch it. oh well i guess... there's always the chamionship game tomorrow.

more cleaning this weekend. i'll have to pickup those magazine cleaning tips that beth left in my comments, but for the most part i think i just tossed them in my recycling bag. i wonder if i could make a few bucks ebaying them or something .. unearthing my teen peoples, spin magazines, yms, and old a&f magalogues.. (i forget how nekkid they are!) but my lazyness won over and i tossed them.

i found some old valentines... i remember how fun it was in elementary school. i also found a valentine from my "crush" haahha. it was when you were in the same class and you had to give one to everyone on the list.. so nothing special. but i guess i tossed all the other ones and kept the one or two that were special. this particular valentine was a multi-eyed alien and it said something like "you're gross and slimy.. just the way i like my valentines.. from jesse" hahahahha.. oh be still my beating heart.

one more thing i found were a bunch of pogs. aladdin pogs, a set from knott's berry farm and then some other random ones. i remember how HUGE pogs were. does anyone even still play them? i wonder if i could single handedly bring the fad back? haha.. right.

i had a tough time tossing away a lot of stuff. old school notes, essays, tests (especially the ones i really liked or that i did well in), old circle k and even some key club stuff. what the heck right? i know. i called sakura for support.. she's pretty good at throwing stuff away.. she told me to toss it because really.. i won't "really" miss it. and the space it takes up isn't worth the marginal amount of entertainment it provides when i read through them. i can't bring myself to throw away old notes and cards yet... isn't it like bad karma or something to throw away cards people have written you? i know.. nonsense.. but oh well.

i just checked ebay for some of the magazines i have. so not worth it to put up on ebay.. and then try to sell, and then package and ship off... my sister did buy someone's magazine that had tom cruise on the cover when she missed out.. so there is a little bit of a market... you just gotta have it up there for people to find. but it still seems like too much effort. but.. there is someone on ebay who either has made or found a purse with a side pocket where you can put your favorite mag covers, and then it's a very fashiony purse :) kind of cute... lookie here

okay.. time to pay a visit to one of my fav stores.. target :)

after all that fussing i didn't even donate blood. i waited a long time... and had to get my finger pricked.. which hurts a lot too.. but my iron count is too low, so they're not able to draw from me. in addition to all the std's and drugs in my system..... rrrright. i felt slightly better about the red cross and their operation so maybe i'll go back again after i eat some liver or something.

sorry linh!! yes yes yes.. my BEST friend from middle school linh came to eat lunch with me. i could have spent the afternoon with her if i had taken off of work.. haha.. but i couldn't do that either. but we had a yummy posh lunch at chaya and the super yummy chocolate cake dessert at the rose. no running into JT today or anything boo.. but it was super fun to have lunch, introduce her to my work and she told the ceo that my mom pays her to be my friend. awesome. thanks linh!! sorry i started working so far away.. no more carne asada fries.. boo.. hopefully we can do it again soon!

my sister is less than a month away from her expected due date... CRAZY. :) but in that good way. i'm going to be an aunt.. all of the cute baby stuff without having to deal with the not sleeping stuff. hahaha :) i can't believe it's gone by so fast...

okay.. i'm tired.. maybe they took too much blood out of me while testing the iron count.. mm.. fajitas for lunch. yay.

well.. call me crazy.. but today i'm going to donate blood. i got guilted into it by my boss' assistant. and i felt bad because their goal for sign ups was like 45 and they had 12. i found someone who hadn't signed up yet, and i knew wanted to already (because they usually donate all the time anyways) and made him be my blood donor buddy and to hold my hand and watch (laugh at) me squirm. but at least i know i won't be alone. someone asked me today if i was just doing it for the free juice and cookies. hah! like i'd subject myself to needles like this just for some juice and cookies. i'd go to diddy riese and buy a whole dozen. i've got my comfy clothes on... so hopefully it won't be too bad. i'm counting on the red cross to not be sucky at it. maybe they can just use the old holes that UCLA scarred my arm up with.. uuuggghhhh.. i'm getting chills just thinking about it now.

other random stuff... i finally finished watching beauty and the geek. yea yea i know.. how many years later. my tv watching was on hiatus while working on the projects, and as of late i haven't really been watching much tv at all. the only show i've been keeping up on is big brother because i am strangely addicted and faithful to that show. i did put beauty and the geek on dvd, but minus the first episode because the tivo had already erased it. but.. it works out well because i couldn't fit all 6 episodes and "the aftermath" on one dvd, so if i had to pick on to go it would be the first one anyways. next up for dvd recording: britney & kevin: chaotic. :) on a side note.. doesn't it look like brad "got something" from erica when he was up for elimination? hahahahah

hmm.. not much else interesting to post about, work, social functions, friends. oh! i know! last saturday sakura, angelee, and i went to union cattle and saw topless girl riding bull #2. hahaha.. good thing it was after angelee went... that is a tough act to follow! we took pictures but i don't think i'll be posting them up.. hahaha... maybe the more "artistic" ones where her hair is covering the boobs.. we went to paradise sushi for dinner that night because we didn't want to wait the 40 minutes at club sushi. but it was really really good! i'd totally go back. went to sharkeez and had a fishbowl and there was some interesting characters there including the "DA of torrance" originally from oregon or seattle or something, the old grandpa guy dancing (or trying to) with all the ladies.. he was kind of sketchy, and the drunk "mormon" guy who liked to be up close and personal. hahah. union cattle.. read above. and then to the underground. me and sakura chilled out while angelee played darts with the boys. and then afterwards it was zippy's pizza for the post bar closing snack. it was a good time, i was totally stoked to go to disneyland the next day.. but my friend was a little to sick. hah... next time.

okay .. this post is really lame.. so i'm going to cut it off now. i hope you didn't think i was "trying to hard" to sound "cool" and all about me and my "fabulous" life. hahah. i swear i'm not like that! maybe i'll have something more interesting next time. maybe.

so my car started today just fine. it shut off and started again many many times. what. the. eff.

my work is having another blood drive next week... should i donate? it's red cross this time and not those ucla know nothings. hahahah.. but after last time.. i'm not sure if i can do it. on top of the already impending fear of needles.

so who wants to hear a funny story? :P

so last night.. i'm supposed to go pick up a friend from the airport, and hang out with her and her friends and have a good time. everything's going according to plan, i check the flight status and find out the flight is delayed. so i hang out around work for a few and finally decide to get going. guess who's car won't start. yea.. mine. AWESOME. so i get a few friends, find some jumper cables and try to jump start my car. nope... not happening. i don't know what is wrong. but since my friend is waiting at the airport.. i'm getting a little anxious and antsy. so my friend kindly lets me borrow her car.. which i was so grateful for because i thought she'd never let anyone else drive it... but there are stipulations. the car is uninsured, and the registration has been renewed by the used car dealership yet. hmm.. so i was hoping that i didn't get pulled over for one or the other (especially at the airport when the cop was right behind me)... and drive to the airport.. carefully. pick up my friend and then drive back to work calling triple a on the way.

i try starting my car and still no luck, so i call my parents just to let them know what's going on. of course my parents want me to drive the car home so they can take care of it.. blah blah blah.. whereas i just want to drive it to sears.. (hoping that it's just a battery problem) and then we fight about how sears isn't open, about where to drive the car, about what i would do in the morning when going to work... basically everything there is to argue about. but i think i hear the tow trunk driving in the distance, so i tell me mom i gotta go.. and rush out to the street. i go to the street corner .. and while waiting for the truck (that has yet to arrive) i realize.. "hey.. someone doesn't have their car keys"... paranoid that i dropped them on the street because i don't see them back in my car.. i start to panic a little bit, but am 99% sure they're in my purse in my car and that i'll be okay because the triple a guy can unlock the doors and then try to jump it right? all in one fell swoop. so we wait around for mr. triple a man, and when he finally comes.. he says he doesn't unlock doors. DANG IT!! so we have to wait for another triple a guy to come and he unlocks my car, but my keys aren't in my purse. so for a nanosecond i get paranoid that some bum picked them up and then i find them under my seat. the triple a guy, who is now rushed because he had to wait around for triple a guy #2, starts poking around my car and can't figure out what's wrong. so he says we're going to tow my car, and there's a little unsureness if i should get it towed to my sister's or towed to torrance. the triple a guy hooks up my car to be towed and drags it out further to the parking lot so he can rearrange and tow it from the front, rather than the back. he closes the car door, and then goes check if something's right, then wants to get back into my car, and the front door is locked!!!!!!!! and like those bad-comedy-everything-goes-wrong movies, where my eyes immediately zoom into the keys sitting in my ignition as the triple a guy is like.. uhh.. the door's locked. i crumple up and want to die right there in the parking lot but the back doors weren't locked, so it's okay. phew.. finally the tide is starting to turn.

i run upstairs to return my friend her car keys back, and talk to her about how i want to die and i feel so lame.. and i hear this honking.. and i'm like "damn.. the tow guy is impatient", but i guess he's busy you know? has stuff to do. but i go downstairs to the parking lot.. and my car is running.. WHOOOOOOOOO.. man oh man. apparently my battery isn't the problem, but it was the starter. the triple a guy put his hand in manually and pushed the starter button... so i guess just something wasn't clicking. argh!! so i drove that car home, but once i got home i left my car running. my dad came up to la and we switched cars, so he took my nissan and i took the honda so that my mom could take it to the mechanic tomorrow and hopefully get it fixed. if need be. i wanted to turn the car off to try and see if it would start again.. but i was too scared that it wouldn't... so i just let my dad take it. because i knew the battery wasn't the problem.. i have no qualms about giving it to him (like.. that the car wouldn't die on the freeway)... and my parents also drove up their car so that i would have no excuses to drive j&j's car. worry warts.

all in all i guess the night wasn't too bad. it was just painful for a few hours, and now i have a good story to laugh about. i ate the leftover rice that i brought home from dinner @ work, which is the best white rice EVER. i could eat bags and bags of it by itself because the rice is so damn tasty. it's white rice, but somehow flavored.. and i'm sure you think i'm crazy, but i promise you i'm not. well not because of the rice at least. come over and try some, you will understand.

so that was my adventure last night. it was awesome. i don't know what's going to come of this weekend.. if my car would start this morning, or what's going on later in the day. i fell asleep on my couch last night after too much "excitement" and now i am at work just waiting for friday night to come. dinner with old HS friends tonight, so that should be fun :) shopping on melrose, and hermosa tomorrow (anyone is welcome to join), and who knows on sunday. oh.. but i REALLY want to go to the coldplay concert sunday night. i have tickets available to me.. and NO ONE TO GO WITH. wow.. i sound really desperate.. but i guess at this point i am. so.. someone needs to be available to go sunday. now. come on.. i would do it for you.

so at work they've been buying those 100 calorie packs of like cookies and snack mix and stuff. it's not too bad.. nothing fake, and not quite the same as those super soft yummy cookies made with whole sticks of butter, but still not bad. BUT my point in writing about this is.. that even if they are 100 calorie packs.. it doesn't help if you eat 10 of them. hahahahah... funny.

so, i got some emails today. well.. all from one person.. about cki icon, and the presentations. the past icon one was previewed in a group of about 30 people and there was a lot of applauding .. which makes me proud i guess. happy? i don't really know. it would have been cool to see it on the big screen, to see all the hard work materialized in the event that it was for. maybe that makes me a narcissist.. sure. i wonder how the service one fared.. i hope good as well. i tried to search around in some people's blogs and someone said the "videos were engaging" so that's better than boring right? :P man i am so vain. but in a good way right?

there's an open spot in my department... anyone looking for a job?

cleaning stuff post #2

so my cousin is coming to live here for awhile, which is part of the reason for us cleaning .. well mostly me cleaning. my mom wants to make the room "his room" and my sister and i have lived in 3 out of the 4 rooms in our house and thus our books, games, stuffed animals and clothes are kind of in places here and there around the house. last night i went home again to clean up a little bit more. i was thinking of maybe having a garage sale in a few weeks, so cleaning stuff to sell at the garage sale might be a good idea. it makes me a little sad though.. i hate parting with my stuff.

anyhow.. last night i unearthed a whole bunch of goodies from underneath my bed. there's the usual - boardgames, old toys and the occasional sock or two. (any body want twister, the bottom line, or california dreams board game?) and then.. i found all the good stuff. i found a bunch of my old happy meal toys, legos, letters, and hello kitty stuff. i remember when i'd spend hours on end wheeling around my double character tiny toon adventure cars, or playing with all my barbies. and i had like 10 pencil boxes. remember when pencil boxes were the HUGE thing, and you always had to have the coolest, latest, best pencil box? maybe they're still popular now, or maybe it was just a torrance thing.. but there were the pencil boxes with the 5 buttons and different things like a pencil sharpener, thermometer, secret compartment, magnifying glass and pencil stand would pop up. or the regular tin ones, or the new ones from hello kitty that had the pencil sharpener and eraser on containers on the side, pencil stands and little compartments on top. this is all mumbo jumbo to some of you maybe, but to those you who KNOW... i had so much fun looking through all my pencil boxes, and all my pretty pencils. gosh i sound like such a geek. i put some of them in the garage sale pile, but i kept a good amount of them. i had to. i spent so much money at the sanrio store.. i would go every week to get the newest cutest pens, pencils, wallets, pencil boxes. sanrio is addictive like crack. if my relatives think i'm crazy about it now, they should have seen me in elementary middle school.

anyways.. i sound like the biggest dork right now.. but finding those pencil boxes brought back when i'd be in school and you were so proud of your pencil box. and not just those dorky plastic boxes, but the REALLY cool ones.

i have a done a few.. or a lot of really stupid things lately. i sort of wish that i could take them back, some i really wish i could do-over. i wonder if the things i did were worth it. if the outcome is something that i will be happy for or not. i need to re-evaluate who and what is important in my life and try to stick to that... for real reasons, and not just for lame reasons or nostalgia sake. i feel a little tainted. i feel a little self loathing. i feel like i should probably get to bed or i will hate my day. busy day, full of changes... at least there will be a change of scenery.

i'm so ridiculous

i am a little disgusted about the ridiculous amount of stuff i have. disgusted in the way that there is SO much and i have no idea what to do with it. and also because i SUCK at cleaning. i pick it up, look through it, and then just kind of put it back in the same place. effective, i know. here and there i might have a piece or two that i will throw out, or say i want to garage sale (who knows when that garage sale will ever happen)... but all in all, the amount of cleaning and getting rid of stuff in my clutter is a miniscule dent. i spent the afternoon sorting through my magazines - ym, people, self, shape, glamour, etc etc.. stuff with nsync on the cover, glancing through articles like "how to have great hair a few minutes", "7 secrets to flawless skin", "9 tips to make you a great kisser", "'why doesn't he like you?' - secret boy answers revealed!", "5 minutes to flab abs" or "10 booty blasting workouts". it was a great time... and i've realized.. teenage angst is not so distant for me.. if at all. haha. just kidding.... i think.

i have 3 rooms to clean and i think i've done 20% of one maybe. i've been told to just "throw it all away" but i clearly don't have that mentality. i have everything i've owned and find it very hard to chuck them to the trash. i keep thinking about what uses i may have for certain stuff, or how i should save them for "what if".. stupid huh? i could have someone just get rid of all my stuff while i'm not looking, and then maybe since i "don't know" that it's gone, i wouldn't miss it. but i think that i still would :P

argh.. cleaning blows. and it's not even spring. who wants to help? :)

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

i'm done i'm done i'm dooooone. oh yea. so excited. i fedexed the dvd out today for the last two of three projects.. and the convention starts tomorrow. SO .. whether they like it or not.. i am FREE. i cannot tell you how estatic i am... and you'd think i'd have all this time to just lay around.. but i'm already planning things here and there, but at least it'll be fun. now that i have time to this "other" stuff, it seems like a waste of time to do stuff like go to the gym, sleep or even watch tv. gasp. okay.. i was just kidding about that last part. but that's what tivo is for.

this weekend is ryan's birthday, san diego, work girl's birthday, work guy's concert. next week there's meetings, tennis, runs to the airport, friends visiting.. YIKES. somewhere in all of that i have to squeeze in buying belated/makeup birthday gifts, disneyland and cleaning up my house with my parents, watching the ends of beauty & the geek, britney kevin:chaotic, and i want to be a hilton... as well as get back to work at gap/hockey. holy crap... where did all this stuff come from? i need to scale it down a bit.

so yea yea you get it. i'm busy. but i am done, and i do feel a little accomplished. except for my 3rd (last) presentation wasn't the best. i'm sure it could have been a lot better, but i had limited resources, and time of course. i guess it's mediocre.. but nothing great. which kind of sucks, but i'm also kind of over it. shh.. don't tell.

okay okay.. i should probably get back to work. but i just wanted to share my excitement with you. :)

oh and a few other random things..
*the other day while driving to work i saw a bunch of large trucks with household supplies in them, and then lights and director's chairs all set up around this one house. i wonder if it was like extreme home makeover or something.. cuz that would be exciting!!

*and.. this was in the same area as sakura and carol's house. scary.

i'm debating whether or not i should try and get some sleep before i have to go to work. it'd be like 1 hour of sleep or less, depending on when this video is done exporting, and how quickly i can set it up to burn. but i'm concerned with if the sleep will help, or just make me more tired. you know what i'm talking about right? and to clarify i didn't stay up ALL night. yesterday i got like 4 hrs of sleep, so i was miserable and tired all day. when i got home i HAD to sleep.. so i slept until 12:30 or so, woke up and have been working since then.

this afternoon when i fedex out the dvd i will be DONE (or so i think)... the convention starts tomorrow, so there's not really much else i can do that after that... whether they like it or not, tough luck eh. that sounds so bad, but i'm sooooooooo over it now. but i have a fun weekend planned to make up for it :) i am going to be really lazy soon.. which is bad because i need to make up for the last month or so of slacking off on everything else... so we'll see how far the lazy goes.

okay.. the video is almost done.. maybe i will try to get some shut eye at least. i'll be back.....

here i am.. procrastinating again.

i have 2 videos done, and one to go. i'm getting "senioritis" bad.. or i guess "last video-itis" is what it would properly be called. just that feeling of you've already done so much, so you don't want to do anymore. or that the finish line is so near.. instead of sprinting to it.. you feel like it's so close you can take a few extra moments instead of getting there. that's the wrong attitude to have, i just need to get it over and be done with.. but i've never been like that. procrastination has always been a specialty of mine.

what makes it worse/perpetuates it... is that i seem be slide by/be okay after every incident. that nothing's ever "really" gone wrong, and i've always made it through and gotten by pretty well. projects, papers, reports... i'm sure i could have done "great" on them if i apply the same work ethic i do in the final hours before it's due to the long run of the weeks before it's due and work that hard on it to make it great.. but really.. who does that? :P

anyhoo... i should probably get back to work because i've spent all day sleeping, eating, watching some tv (20 min?), a little bit of chatting on the phone and then more eating and more sleeping. fab huh? my new drive is loud and noisy and is super hot because it's been on for quite awhile. i should probably let it rest soon so it doesn't blow up on me. i think i have editor's block and pumping out this many projects in that much short of time is waning on my creativity. well not really, but that's just my "excuse." i think it's also hard because i've spent so much time cooped up in the house. sure i get out for work.. but that's work, then i come home and work.. and that's no fun. sure i've been out a few times, here and there, birthdays, softball games, goodbye parties.. but i've had this thing looming in the background and i can never really just "relax".. so i'll be a little glad when it's all over. and that's sad to say because if i want this as "my career" i shouldn't be so glad to be done with it.... but i think that if this was solely my job it'd be easier, but it's hard to do this and work almosst 50 hrs a week and try to appease family and friends when they need you, and then try to have your own life. but i've planned lots of fun things in the next few weeks.. so hopefully it'll make up for it :)

gotta finish so that i have time to bake cupcakes tomorrow for our last softball game. boo... but hopefully we'll play another season.. so it won't have to be the absolute end. but we are having a "last game" bbq.. which will be lots of fun.. and hopefully we won't eat so much that we won't be able to play our last game well (against the last place team might i add).. hahaha... yea.. it's going to be "great".. but if you want to come to the fun.. let me know :) you can help us eat all the food that i think we are planning of bringing way too much of :P

i really don't want to get to work. maybe sleep sounds good :P

stop it.

outputed, exported and fedexed to the distributors.

*now i can breathe for a few hours...*

1 down, 2 to go.... so very tired.

thanks to everyone who has helped, offering me advice, support, sympathy or just an open ear. sorry for any curtness, general crabbyness, being unpleasant, anti-social, flaky or lame. you guys rock.

whoooooooooooo.... i got my powerbook... a whole day early. aww yea. makes my day somewhat better.

murphy's law is kicking my ass

6 minutes and 22 seconds down... 24 hours to go.

*ps.. it's dean cain's birthday.. hahahhaah ;P

myspace is the ultimate procrastination tool. dammit.. i spent nearly 1.5hrs searching around on that shiznit. it was interesting.. BUT.. pointless... nothing that i couldn't have done at work :P hahah. so... now i should really get to work. i'm SO unproductive during the weekends. probably because i put things off because i feel like i have soooooo much time... and then all of a sudden. i have none. sucks. i need more self discipline. and on that note.. time to go. have to have something flushed out and fedexed on monday. argh. let's see what i can pull out of my arse.

ack.. it's ONLY wednesday. maybe the week just seems longer.. but... i really need it to be friday or something. BUT... maybe it is a good sign that the week is moving so slowly, because i still need that time to meet the deadlines. grrr.. my powerbook was shipped out yesterday.. so hopefully i will get it thurs or friday. i can't wait :) it will be all shiny and pristine and i won't want to take the plastic off of it.. so asian. :P i got my new drive too.. it's a different version and a louder model. boo.. but i guess beggars can't be choosers, and if you want what you've already got.. don't effin drop it. stupid...

i am averaging about 1min a day.. at this rate.. i will NEVER be done. i guess the later footage isn't as complete and isn't as good for doing what i want to do which is slowing down the process. no fun. i am trying not to be too redundant, trying to be creative, but trying to cover everything at the same time... so.. we will see. there are parts that i like, parts that i don't, things that i hate, things that confuse me... and while i hate it all... someone told me to think about how good i'll feel once it's all done (assuming i am relatively proud of what i've completed) .. and so that's what i should focus on.

i was late for work today. overslept. oops. yet.. i have been eating free food all day - m&m's, cheesecake, peas, salad, rice, steak... i'm going to roll home.

day is half over. and the countdown begins.

so jason mraz was on jay leno tonight(last night/a hour ago)... you know what i was REALLY excited about? at the end of the show where they roll the credits on half the screen and the other half is showing clips.. they were showing a police chase!!!! BUT.. since i haven't been watching tv, and just checked it out on my tivo... i have no idea what was going on with the chase.. if it was an update or what... i dunno.... so now i want to know about the chase!!!

grrr..

mr. a-z in stores yesterday.. go buy it :P

back to work... arggghhh.

"a la la la la.. it's all about the wordplay"

i hate you.

aRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRgh

beth is a fuckin riot.

i'm so excited... and i just can't hide it!!!

sorry for the cheesy 80's song... due to listening to it too many times with this "oh so fun" cki video.

BUT.. anyways.. i just placed the order for my new baby... a 15inch powerbook.

YEEEEEESSSSSSSS.

i kept waffling on the decision.. unsure of whether or not to buy it, whether it was justified, whether i should spend the money on it. i JUST bought my imac at the beginning of this year.. and while i still LOVE my imac.. i was enticed by the portability and sexyness of the powerbook. (more the former than the latter of course). i had been thinking about getting one for awhile.. maybe an ibook for the portability. all the people who work production at my work have one, and then this week with the crash of the drives, i thought i would need a second computer for when i was getting some additional help.. and it kind of solidified my want for another one. i can also take it home so we can conduct the iSights with my family and sister in taiwan (while my computer is at my sister's house.. or just elsewhere in general if i cease to live at home anymore.. which i hope will be soon.. but who knows now that i have blown my savings on this.. :P) ... i can take my lappie with me to many many places.. including when i go to taiwan for my new nephew.. (oooohhh!!).. so.. i think that even after this project is over.. i can make good use of it. if not.. carlene said she might buy it.

but.. i have a feeling i will adore my new powerbook. i won't neglect my sexy imac though.. promise. i spent a LOT of time and bugging a LOT of people agonizing over whether to get an ibook vs. a powerbook, the 12 inch vs. the 15 inch... and of course whether to get it at all. in the end.. i just decided to get it.. quick, rip off the bandaid so it doesn't hurt, just click and buy it before you change your mind again!!

BUT.. in a few short days i will have my friend and it will be apple central over here.

i am addicted like drugs.

PS... we won our softball game tonight!!! WHOOOOO HOOOO!!! :)

me=TOTALLY procrastinating

happy birthday linh!!!




*linh is into self-portraitism too :)

linh probably thought i was the crappiest friend ever... because i didn't want to "hang out" with her or go to her company picnic despite that it was her birthday weekend... because i've been "working" on my project, but yet went out to other bday parties/work things. i couldn't go to her company picnic cuz i knew about her birthday dinner that night, and i couldn't go to both... but she didn't know about the dinner because it was a surprise, orchestrated by her bf, tony. aww.. how sweet. she thought they were going to go to dolce (ashton kutcher's restaurant).. and although she was sad about not getting the porterhouse steak, or the intimate dinner with tony... i think she was glad for the surprise and all of her friends there.... i think. haahah..

we ate at maggiano's little italy. the food was way yummy.. and while expensive by normal standards.. pretty average by birthday/special dinner standards. although.. not dolce's porterhouse steak.. their family style large party menu is a pretty creative way of serving.. i especially like it because you can share without having to eat off other people's plates, and variety is good for indecisive people like me.

*yay for turning twenty four*

me=procrastinating

RIP powerhouse

me=screwed

happy birthday beth!


disney time @ the h.wood bowl

i am so.freaking.screwed.

and not just in the ordinary "oh i have so many projects due and so little time to do them" but in the "i dropped my external hard drive and lost ALL of my information/footage/work" kind of way.

yea... idiot.

it's gone.. well.. i'm not in total hysterics just yet because i have that SLIM glimmer of hope that some super awesome tech guy at my work can possibly fix it. i am an idiot and brought the drive home to try and see if it'd make a difference which cord i used... now it's not only not working, but now making extra funny noises.

S.C.R.E.W.E.D.

luckily (sort of) my program autosaves to my computer, so i have the bare bones of my piece.... but none of the footage to fill it in.. so everything is "offline"... re-digitizing will possibly have to occur if i can't save my drive. and i will have to be meticulous in matching everything up exactly to be the same... if i even can get it to point to the right place... which at this point i'm thinking it's impossible. crap.... it's like in sex and the city when SJP's computer dies... except i'm an idiot and dropped it. i might as well have threw it in the street and ran over it with my car at this point. maybe throw myself in the traffic along with it. sorry.. don't mean to be melodramatic but i just think about all the work lost. about the deadlines. and about what still needs to be done and/or now re-done.

i'm weeped a little bit.. as i sat on the floor of my work. not much of a huge crier in situations like these.. but now i'm in that state of shock/self-loathing. sorry if i left you a frantic message and don't answer when you call back... my phone is on silent. not really feeling like talking to anyone anymore.

if i get through this and get all this shiet done.. i will be amazed with myself.

i know that there is a reason for why things happen.. i am just wondering about this one.

gossip*gossip*gossip

this is for philly.. who was sad that she didn't read about jude law here first.. but it wasn't my thing... but i will say this... how hot is his fiancee (ex?) and he still cheated on her? dammit..... and what's with this?

elsewhere.. maybe mandy and zach are no more? sad.. they were cute too.. basically i love mandy moore.. and i'd be sad to see her break up with anyone.. unless it was someone she was way too good for. maybe secretly i'm hoping she'll get back with andy roddick :P

and wtf man... frankie muniz is engaged? there are no words...

good lord... i have almost forgotten what "all-nighters" are like. sort of. i mean.. i guess i stayed up all night for no good reason.. but to stay up to work.. different all-together.

i have like 7min44sec done of the first cki video (1 out of 2). it's supposed to be 10 minutes long, but i am only in the mid 90's and with at least 6 conventions worth of footage to finish highlighting. pain in my ass. yet i enjoy it a little or else i wouldn't be doing it. but i am totally screwed. due today, but i have some sort of an extension, but i have another video to do.. which i have less footage for which means harder to make the story for piece. argh. and i have a day or two to do it? before i have to ship it out to the jefes. bleh....

my mom gave me this concentrate of red tea (the kind they make boba with) and it helps.. i think i've drank almost all of it tonight.. i need to go home and get some more! tea works on me more than coffee does, but with the amount of caffiene i've put in my body i think it's almost getting used to it. next i will be a slave to the caffiene... bad bad news. i haven't yet resorted to red bull, so at least that's a good sign. and i haven't caved in to buying 6 packs of mountain dew. i wonder what works best.. or if it's all in my head.

another down side of staying up so many hours is that i get really hungry at odd times. like now... but i don't know what to eat... i don't want a full on meal. i want some cookies.. mmm.. but i don't have any.. boo.

crap.. i am starting to get tired. i want to finish this piece by tonight (this morning).. not sure how that's going to happen.. tonight it's taken me.. oh.. 6 hours to do 3 minutes. argh. and that's just slapping things together.. not even perfection. i think i'm kind of over it.. but shh.. don't tell them that. i took a little nap and while constantly pushing snooze, nicole called and got me to wake up. thanks nicole! now it's 4am and i am watching cki videos. whoo hoo....

tiiiirrrruuurrrrrd.

whoa.... tom is rich.

news corp. aka fox aka rupert murdoch bought myspace for $580 million... in cash.

holy crap.

will this be the decline of myspace? turning it into fox advertising central? as a communications student i feel as i am obligated to be opposed to this.

holy friggin crap.

happy 25th birthday beth!!!

hope you had the happiest of birthdays. loved the harry potter birthday party... even ALL the games :) food was excellent, scarves were excellent, and the company was the best. yaaaaaaaaay... you are twenty five! i'm too tired for words, but i just wanted to say happy happy birthday.

so i think i saw jessica simpson this morning... but i'm not sure.

this morning on my way to work i saw this really pretty blonde who looked a LOT like jessica... hair pulled back in that way she does it, big glasses, really cute pink top and the fluffy brown dog (daisy!!) who is a lot bigger than that puppy she first got. (how weird/sad/scary is it that i know all these details about her life....)

anyhoo.. it makes me wonder just a little bit if it was really her because she was driving this red cadillac lookin car .. (lincoln?).. and not some huge fancy car or her bmw's that they show on newlyweds.. but maybe those are her "tv cars" and she drives the other ones to be incognito. but it totally looked like her. maybe as she was turning left i should have went straight and hit her.. just to find out. haha..

...jk... now that's just crazy talk..

the best thing about living by myself (aka... living at my sister's house).. is that i can turn up my itunes allllll the way up, have madonna's holiday blasting and i can have an improptu dance party anytime i want.

:)

*i made sure to close the shutters and stay clear of all mirrors.

okay.. back to work :P

hahaha.. this is kind of gross a little.. but i think it's cute. and very expressive. hahaha

love your job

KathyHa: oh my God
KathyHa: hahah
KathyHa: is that how you're feelign
jeanyah: haha
jeanyah: yea
jeanyah: pretty much
jeanyah: jk
jeanyah: well. not really
jeanyah: hahah
KathyHa: awww darling

:)

http://musicvideowire.com/dynamic/article_view.asp?AID=11220

if you can't stream

very bizarre.. but still kind of intriguing.

granny grows tired of prostitution at age 63

... funny.....

a quote from lisa that sums up my entire day from start to finish...
"i hate nearly everyone"

lisa is my new best friend.

RIDICULOUS.

that is the word for today.





...happy birthday to my dad.

hmm.. the apprentice is doing a casting call @ ucsd.... very interesting.

i don't think i'd make it.. i think it'd be fun to work on the tasks... but i don't know about going all the way. hah... what am i even talking about.. i probably wouldn't even make it past my 5 minute casting call interview.

but if you are interested...
http://alumni.ucsd.edu/events/details.asp?evt=352

i'm sure that they are doing them all over.... but i just found this particularly interesting.

for fear of truly becoming the website for ugly pictures.. i won't post it. but i will warn you.. it's pretty ...uh.. not cute.

world's ugliest dog

it's even proven by an award... 3 years in a row. i feel a little bad for it, but at least he has an owner who loves him and kisses him.

so i "finished" my jury duty for this week. i never actually went in, but was just on call for this week. strange because i thought that the way it was organized that you always had to go in at least one week. so i was dreading not getting called in each day because that meant i would have to drive downtown and face all that traffic on a friday. blech. BUT.. i don't have to go in at all.. i just called they said that "i have completed my service" interesting.

and as elated i am about not going in, i am a little sad too. sad that i don't get to miss a day of work without needing to use my sick or vacation days... but also i've always been a little fascinated with this whole jury duty thing. i feel like it's my civic duty or something and that it might be really interesting to be on a trial. although it is a lot of pressure to be deciding the fate of someone when you don't really know the whole truth... that's tough. but i guess that's the job. i've been summoned for jury duty twice. the first time was almost right after i graduated. it was in torrance, so pretty easy, and i just sat in the holding tank room all day, slept, and then got let out early.. like 3 or so. it was a friday too, but since i was in torrance, not as dreadful. this time.. i just called everyday, and finally was told i didn't have to report. i wasn't too keen on the drive to downtown.. but i was kind of intrigued to see if the downtown courthouse was any more spectacular. like.. where you have that aw and respect for the building and the purpose that it serves. geek.. i know. thanks.

i'm so tired.
i'm so braindead.
i can't work.
i can't think.
how am i ever going to crank 2 videos out in less than 2 weeks?
and then another one in a week and a half after that.
impossible.

yikes

*on a narcissistic side note.. the sound bites (on that website) sound just like that 9/11 sound project maurene and i did. now if i wasn't so lazy i'd totally go turn it into a video project.. but it'd have to be REALLY good... so i'll have to wait until i'm really motivated and have time to devote to it. i don't even know where those 9/11 tapes are right now. bleh


anyways.. not to make light of any world situation.. but i was going to post about this before.

i wrote about the iSights before, but my sister and i finally put them into use. good thing.. it's fun having a little window right there with someone to keep you company. sometimes we're not even talking all the time.. but it's fun to just have up. bad thing.. i only have so many firewire plugs in my computer, so i can't log footage from my dv deck onto one of my harddrives while iSighting... but it's okay because then i just work on the project that's store of my USB harddrive. good thing, that it's clear and cheap (free) with only a few minor bugs. bad thing.. that i moved my computer up to my sister's so my family can't take advantage of the iSighting fun as well. one day soon maybe they can trek up, or will pack up my computer again and take it down. oh how tempting it is to buy an iBook right now. so cute.

here are some fun iSighting shots.


*halfway around the world my sister will still tease me and eat fresh baked cookies in front of me. mmmmmm....


*say hi to my little friends


*bye!!!

latest celebrity sighting:

on my way back from lunch we were driving down the street and there's this big gate/wall of someone's apt/house/business.. and they have this giant "NO WAR" painted along it. it's large and the letters are semi-narrow, so if you're not paying a lot of attention, you may just mistake them for stripes. but.. that's what it says. so anyways... as we were driving down the street i see a umbrella looking thing that's used to direct light for photo shoots and this punk/grungy/gothy group of kids dressed in all black and wearing make up having their picture taken. and so i tell mana, "hey..i think that's good charlotte."

we didn't really have time to stop, turn around or gawk.. but i'm fairly certain that it was them. not that hard to recognize you know? i wonder if hilary duff was around.. (just kidding).. that would have been neat if we were walking down the street. oh well.. it was kind of fun just to drive by.

(yes.. i am procrastinating.)

i just got THE best email from kimmy. i absolutely adore that girl. :) she makes me smile.

i had a great night at the hollywood bowl :) full of good food, friends, music, disney themes and fireworks. what more can you ask for? maybe more fireworks.. but it's okay. there will be more tomorrow.. i hope. i will definitely try to make it out to wilson park. i *heart* fireworks.

i used to always go to hollywood bowl when i was little with my fam, and so john mauceri will have a special place in my heart. it's weird how kind of comforting it was to see him. odd? yes... it is. OH.. and i felt like a HUGE dork when they had these 4 girls singing the new disney song (that leann rimes sang at the "homecoming" and that they play at the end of the fireworks every night) and showed images of disney on the screen.. and i started tearing up. i'm not a crier!! but yet.. teary. it's okay.. nicole was right there with me.. must have been something in the drinks :P

me and nicole tried to "hang out" afterwards, and while our plans were a bust, we were still hanging out.. so it was fun. but sucks that it didn't go as planned. we had a few good laughs, so it's okay. plus, like she says, there will be many more times.

good emails, disney, yummy food, good friends... love it.

okay.. time to get back to work. damn.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY! happy birthday america :) *insert video clip of nicole here.. hahahahahha* remember that? :)

i have FINALLY finished watching all the circle k tapes that have been given to me. i got sent closing session from 1994 icon, all 3 sessions from 1995 icon and then closing sessions from the past 5 years. yikes.. that is a lot to handle. it's funny how a lot of the speeches are the same - installations, award pre-speeches, the script can be almost exactly the same, just plug in different recipients. almost a little lame. but i guess.. what can you do. it's very funny to watch some of the memories and laugh at how annoying cal.nev.ha really can be.. heh.heh.heh. it's also funny to see how some people used the same speech and same "true stories" while speaking to different crowds. trying to pawn off the same speech as new material.

gripes that i have about all these stupid videos and sessions.

1. the bad video people who decided it'd be cool to show power point presentation of people names, instead of actually showing them. probably to cover up their horrendous taping skills, but still annoying. learn how to put text over video.. it ain't that hard. they even did it in the 1995 videos. you should be able to get it right in the 21st century.

2. convention highlights that were just slideshows of pictures, and sometimes really bad ones... you'd think that in this day of high tech doodads, that we could find some decent people to make a decent convention highlights video. i may not have anything to complain about while i was at icon, because the warm feeling of "aww.. i love cki" that you always get while at convention was invading my body... but after watching tape after tape looking for material and not really getting much.. the convention highlights or "creative conclusions" as they used to call it back in the day.. was something i looked forward to. imagine my anger when it's some crappy slideshow.. OR .. in the case of the 2003 indy convention.. no "highlights" at all. wtf man. seriously - who dropped the ball on that deal?

3. what is up with everyone swaying along to "friends are friends forever" at the end of the buffalo convention? really? that's the cheesiest song ever. singing auld lang syne every year is kind of cheesy too.. but it's "tradition" so it makes it kind of cute. but that "friends are friends" thing.. that's just god awful. especially when you did it in place of auld lang syne? that's great.. break tradition...

4. who's choice was it to announce vote counts during the election results in st. louis? kind of interesting, but anti-climactic, because they announced the vote totals, and then announced the new trustees.. isn't that kind of redundant? and sucky for the person with the least amount of votes. "congratulations! you're the least liked board member!"

5. they didn't do the "pony" thing at the st.louis convention. not that it's a gripe.. but i remember the "hassle" that it was to bring it back from the dead.. and the grief.. and it's kind of a cool tradition.. i'm just hoping it didn't get lost in someone's garage.. again. (yea i know.. i'm kind of into this whole traditions thing).

all in all though.. it does make me miss circle k. it makes me recontemplate about joining that kiwanis club. we'll see.. i know it will be different though.. but i do miss going to projects and working with kids. and i miss the fun with friends.. my board was the best :) i remember that dcm at my house where nicole, beth, kathy and joe were there and wrote crazy crap all over my calendar. and that house of delegates in buffalo where we laughed ourselves silly over so many stupid comments. that was the best HOD ever. i miss that very first LSSP where it was so perfect and happy and fun.. a utopian LSSP.. none of them will ever compare with that. i miss playing with the kids @ julian's anchorage. i miss ... a lot of things. man, i am the biggest geek.

i am still totally unsure of what i'm doing, but i am glad i am done watching these tapes. i just now have to digitize them so i can put it into my computer and hopefull start cutting stuff. we'll see... ugh. i'm going to the hollywood bowl.. and i LOVE going to the hollywood bowl during 4th of july and seeing fireworks there. i did it a few times with my family when i was younger, and tomorrow it will be EVEN better because it will be disney spectacular. YES. i really do want to go, but just freaking out about the time, and the loss of a whole night to work.

i love love LOVE fireworks, and not seeing them on 4th of july is just wrong. i want to go to wilson park so bad.. but i am also worried about my time... blech.. this sucks.

you know what also sucks? is that i probably can't go to disneyland until after all this is over.. AND.. i got a text message from nicole on wednesday night, and one from sakura on friday morning saying that they had rode space mountain. DANG.IT. space mountain is my favoritest ride EVER.. and i can't even go ride it during the relaunch. BOO. oh well.. maybe it'll give it time for the lines to die down... :P but it is a little dissapointing to have to wait so long, and then still wait a little more.

okay.. i should probably stop procrastinating and go digitize some stuff.. or maybe sleep. i'm pretty useless when i'm too tired to function.. and averaging 3-4 hrs of sleep last week was bad news. i thought i could get used to it and manage with lots of coffee and/or soda.. but i just crashed today. so yea. we shall see. july 20th isn't that far away. i wish i could make time stand still.