how does anyone think this is attractive? i mean.. i know being skinny is great - but i seriously believe there is too skinny. her head looks way too big for her dang body. i mean.. there was a time when i did think she was pretty cute and petite, but i think she's outta control and losing it. she's freaking me out.

(pictures courtesy of a fun new (to me) celeb gossip site: http://hotmommadrama.blogspot.com/

those pictures were at the premiere of the devil wears prada which i guess was at the la film festival. now i know why tickets were freakin $100... *sigh* i guess i will just have to wait to catch it in theatres. (anne hathaway looks beautiful (an proportional) by the way.)

as soon as i got home a bit of a thunderstorm happened. i was on the phone and thought i saw a flash and was like "nah.. it was probably just a reflection or something" but sure enough followed the loud thunder. (actually before that i heard thunder and was like "is that thunder? nah.. it's probably and airplane") anyhoo.. i usually think it's kind of fun and cool, but tonight it was freakin' me out a little, so i'm glad it passed. it was quick, and the rainfall that followed was nice and light as well. i dunno why it was freakin' me out - maybe cuz i was by myself in a spacious place, or when i'd walk by the skylights and there was lighting, it would flash and illuminate the rooms, but only from that source. also there's the whole active imagination thing. when my sister and i were younger we'd play this video "clue" game, which is like the boardgame, but the mystery was on video, and so through that and game cards you had to figure out who killed who (instead of picking the cards and hiding them in an envelope).. it was pretty fun, but tonight the thunder and lighting storm just reminded me of that video and being in that house.. then i was like "oh man.. i'm in a murder mystery house!"

yikes i am delusional today.

i saw An Inconvenient Truth last night, and i know i know i'm late to jump on the bandwagon (well.. the inconvenient truth bandwagon, but i've been an environmentalist forever :P - thanks joan!) but it was really good. at first you watch it, and you feel kind of helpless.. like "all these bad things are happening and there's nothing i can do"... but it makes you realize there are things you can do, and things that we can change, and i hope that this film is a catalyst for that. so.. i think you should go see it - plus it's free. (i like the earth, i like free.. works out..) and al gore is scheduled to be there as well.. that'll probably be really interesting and possibly inspiring :) (another thought that came out of watching that movie was "fuckin florida!") har har har. anyway.. here's the info:

FREE SCREENING: An Inconvenient Truth
Saturday June 24, 8pm
CALIFORNIA PLAZA
350 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles CA 90071
http://www.lafilmfest.com/tixSYS/2006/filmguide/event.php?EventNumber=4397

you should go see it if you haven't already, bring your friends and parents, it's really good and informative. i'm debating taking my parents to go see it .. i hope that the message wouldn't be lost on them... but it's one of those films that definitely makes you aware yah know? reminds you of what you should really care about.. inspires you. haha.. funny enough this is the same feeling i would get after coming back from circle k conventions :P it made me glad that my parents never let me get that SUV i always wanted, it made me want to buy a prius, it makes me want to go plant trees. haha.

favorite funny part from the movie is when al gore compares gold bars against "mm... THE ENTIRE PLANET".. okay.. looks stupid when i write it out, but it's so funny. i echo the sentiment of kevin & bean of "al, why weren't you this guy 6 years ago!" (awhile ago) they also re-capped this moment when he was on the tonight show -

Jay Leno: "How do you feel being treated like a movie star?"
Gore: "Well, it's not all all easy. For example, I'm in this huge feud with Lindsay Lohan now."
Leno: "Really? Can you give us a little more?"
Gore: "No, she knows what she did."

hi.larious.

okay, back to the topic on hand - if you can't make it to the screenign tomorrow you should definitely go see it in theatres! you won't be dissapointed.

go now.

reduce.reuse.recycle

http://www.climatecrisis.org

so this morning i was listening to kevin & bean intermittently between pushing the snooze buttons and heard this on the radio. i don't watch a whole lot of tv anymore - and when i do, i fast forward through all commercials and thus my connection to outside life is minimal. especially news type stuff (not that this qualifies as "news" but you know what i mean..) i know, i know.. i should be better about being "aware" of the world.. but for now - my form of news is mostly through morning kroq radio... they always have "quality" stuff .. so here is it..

dustin diamond - aka "screech" is having a little trouble with money and has dealt with shady characters (you know how i hate those) and needs some help. so help him out i say...



everyone needs a cause.

i think i need to just give up on my quest for my pretty pink razr :(

i found a store that had some left, and then i kind of hesitated because of the price, and now that i'm like "screw it i'm gonna buy it" they didn't have any left. i balked at the $289 price and got a 25% discount and kind of had the attitude of "pink razr or bust" ... so yesterday i went in prepared to spend $240 to replace my phone.. and then they were out. BOO. so maybe it wasn't "meant to be" - if you believe in that stuff. sometimes i do i guess.. although i can't really see what the "meant to be" of having my phone stolenn is. to teach me a lesson? who knows.

i called a ton of verizon and circuit city/verizon stores and no luck with the pink razr. a few "hmm.. let me checks" but no dice. i think it's a "sign" my sister told me to call some orange county stores, but for gas money - i might as well just buy it on ebay - and the price is like $250-$350... then i realized, that's roughly 30% or more of my rent money. and along with these $2000 editing classes i am taking - money that i thought i had is quickly dwindling. spending a huge chunk of money on a phone doesn't seem like such a wise idea ... but boy did that phone make me so happy :(

i need to be okay with this decision though.. and maybe when the new version of the razr comes out and they make that in pink maybe i'll blow my cash on that.. when my expenditures have balanced themselves out a little bit. for now i think i might go back to using my very broke LG phone, so if you can't hear me, you know why. it does come with an ez tip calculator though.. i do like that.

so yea.. if you have a pink phone or a razr (of any color), don't use it around me, i'm likely to either steal it (a la march of penguins desperate mother mode) or take it and throw it against a wall.

it's so weird.. these past few days i've been seeing people everywhere on their cell phones. it makes me a little mad.

today i was driving into work and there was a radio ad for the new razr. the guy says something and i wasn't really listening, but my ears perk up when the girl says "what?! your razr plays music?!" - and i had to turn off the radio, it made me too sad :(

so lame.. i know...

i'm cleaning out some stacks of papers and find some old resumes that the previous assistant was probably doing something with... and in between those resumes i find a finger nail clipping, a pretty big one...

ew. gross. and a little creepy.

just so y'all don't think i'm a huge biatch - i'm taking my mom to urgent care now.. see ya later.

i just gave my mom a little bit of my impatient attitudeness. she is famous for nagging (as all mom's are) but now she doesn't feel well. and when people don't feel well they become that much more whiney, needy, and fussy. i should know... literally. i honestly would like to help my mom - but she wants me to find the number of her chiropractor, but she can't remember the name. i know it's a combination of her sickness and druggedness that is making her hazy - but she is still ab le to get mad at me for being "unhelpful" that i can't look up the name of her doctor - who's name i don't know. i'm sorry, but i feel crappy and miserable too. i just got re-sick this weekend over a cold i thought was on it's way out. i'm coughy and achy and my throat feels like it's a centimeter wide. i'm sorry that i was rude, but when i am sick, i can't take care of you, i don't always care about what you want. i barely care about what i want.. except for lots and lots of sleep. BLECH.

while my mom is in the bathroom and i have to wait until she's done.. i guess i will blog. let me tell you about the craptacular incident of the weekend. i lost my phone/some f*cker stole my phone. granted.. i probably shouldn't have been doing what i was doing, so maybe it's karmic balance.. although beth gets mad when i say stupid crap like that. it was 3 or 4 am and i decided to do a little gambling - i was in vegas afterall. my phone fell out of my side jacket pocket while i was on the floor, and while frantically searching for it i was repeatedly calling my own number - not so that i could hear it because i knew my phone was on vibrate (dammit!) but hoping someone would pick up. after the 39th bajillionth call or so, someone finally did. some dude, probably wasted, who knows really, but he did say he'd give me my phone back, that he was outside the monte carlo and that he'd meet me in the lobby. i told hiim not to hang up so that i could keep him on the phone and we could find each other easier.. he's like "yea yea.. sure sure"... 30 seconds later he hung up and then turned my phone off. ass.hole. i can't believe that people can be like that. i can't believe that people will lie to your face and then take off with your stuff. god i really hate people sometimes. in the morning i tried calling and teting my phone to see if he'd respond to me saying i'd give him money (why didn't i just say that in the first place!!) but no answer... arrghh!! as of yesterday i've suspended my service, and my phone is placed on the lost/stolen list - so basically it can't be reactivated anyways... the phone is useless. i guess it could be used as a camera, but it's really not that great anyways. who knows.. i don't. but i am angry. like this dude who's friend's sidekick was found/stolen. bleh.. people suck ass.

http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/

i just dropped 2k on signing up for an editing class. umm... i'm scared. i dunno.. it's like the first "big" thing that i've done in awhile. 2k.. i hope that these classes are good. i have some room and a date that i can still drop and get a refund by if it gets too hectic.. but i'm anticipating good things. at least i hope. there's a lot of "big" changes lately. maybe i'm finally "growing up" - moving out, taking these classes.. umm i guess that's it. okay.. doesn't seem like a big deal when you list them - but i'm still scared. apprehensive. maybe i'm not actually growing up, but just finding more ways to waste lots of money all at once. i should just go to vegas and blow it all instead... oh wait - i'm doing that too :P

booooooooooooooooooooooooo.. tonight i decided to catch up on some amazing race and i realized that on the stinkin 3 tivos in this house not a single one caught the finale. in fact, two of them missed it because they were both tivo'ing lost. boooooooooooooo. i know .. my own fault because i should have checked. but i have been busy and have been catching up on the last month of tv. BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO.

i am so upset right now.

AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BY TELLING ME WHO WON BECAUSE THEN I WILL JUST BE EVEN MADDER... if i wanted to know i'd look it up on the internet. i will find the finale so i can watch it.. the anticipation kills me - but i love it. go hippies.

oh tv, let me tell you - how i love you so. when i first started this blog i titled this blog as i saw fit.. but it wasn't just a title.. but i actually meant it. is that sad? but it's so true. tv is around whenever i need it. almost the perfect friend.. i can turn it on when i want, make it go away when i'm done. sounds like a very selfish relationship huh? but tv is the one thing i can usually always count on. of course there are those bad moments when you have 500 channels and they're all crap, but everyone has an off day. you kept me company when i was little, made me happy with episodes of my little pony when my eye got poked out with an umbrella, made me smart with 3-2-1 contact and square one shows, and are always there when i need someone to spend time with me, make me feel better when i am sad, and tell me what i want to hear/see. you don't judge, you don't give me attitude, you don't get moody or mean, and when you make me cry it's just in a good way (although it still makes me feel silly). you do kill me with these season finales... you keep me on the edge in suspension... "mcvet or mcdreamy?!" "what happened to mike?" "is nathan going to live?" or the bad storylines of soaps "austin... i can't believe you friggin proposed to sami!!... idiot!" but i know it's not your fault.. and it's all in the name of good entertainment. tv you are always there when i need you, and i know why my sister is so happy that she can be your friend from taiwan too, she missed you a lot when she couldn't get in contact with you. now we have to share, but i'm okay with that.. mostly because of the time difference. you provide me with constant immediate entertainment whenever i need it, especially those times when i need it the most. you make me so happy. thank you.

"if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

my nephew is cuter than your nephew



my mom left for taiwan today.. i'm so jealous!! i want to go. i know she's not just going for socializing and hanging out - but she still gets to go away and be in taiwan and enjoy all the fun, food, shopping, family that all comes with it. hahaha.. but then there's that humidity.... bleh :P but it'd totally be worth it. jake is starting to crawl and eat foods... and i'm totally missing out. boo!!!

i've stayed up until right now to catch up on grey's anatomy. for one reason or another i haven't watched a whole lot of tv lately and i have a couple weeks of episodes to catch up on. i guess i decided tonight was the night i wanted to do it. well.. round 1 at least. now i'm debating whether i should even go to sleep or if i should just get some other stuff done. i don't know why i am feeling so restless and i know i will be absolutely useless at work tomorrow - but i guess that's not much of a change from how i have been lately. the best term that i can use to describe me lately (and i'm sorry if this offends anyone) but is "checked out" i've checked out of work, checked out of caring about keeping up with stuff, i wait until the absolute possible last minute where i have to do stuff to do it - but then it's only because i have to, not because i have any desire. i don't know what my deal is. i have almost no interest in anything. i have my moments - moments where things are shiny and happy - but it just seems odd that i come back here - when i seem to have so much going for me. am i just being melodramatic? or have i spent all the other times just pretending?

i ran into an old roommate at the grocery store today. she was ... not at all excited or interested in talking to me. that makes me a little sad. was whatever i did to her so horrible that she couldn't even feign interest. but i guess she was never that kind of person. you won't mesh well with everyone, but i do like to try.. because i am dumb like that. there's this guy on myspace who we used to be friends, not best friends, but acquaintances. why won't he be my friend on myspace? why do people say they'd like to meet up, but when you actually try to make it happen they dissapear? and why are people so afraid to make friends - or maybe it's just me? i don't know why this bothers me so much but it does.

maybe i am scared of this new roommate situation. do i have time to back out? not without making a whole lot of people mad. i think i'm just a little less enthused because there was a place that i loved and we lost it. we lost it for stupid reasons. reasons that i know make sense, but i think i'm still greiving. there's another place that we'll get if we want it - but it's not the same, it's not as nice, and i think maybe i feel a little let down - but i can't do anything about it. i have to be a team player and do what's best for the team, but it sucks because i feel like the team let me down. and then i feel bad for saying that.

i was talking to this girl about coupledom today and she said that she wanted to make sure she had everything in place before she ever chose to couple up because she needed to make up herself. it's smart, and i'm not coupled for different reasons, but we talked a lot about how you don't need to be coupled. but there are times like tonight, when no one else seems to have time for you - that you wish you had someone that you could make make time for you. but truth be told, being coupled up doesn't mean that anyways.

i've been looking into taking editing classes @ ucla extension. i think my boss would let me leave early one day a week. but then i wonder if i want to blow that much money on something that i may not even want to do long term. i don't know what i want to do. is that odd? i feel like i should have it all figured out... or at least have some answers. i have none.

i know this funk is just the extreme and temporary and probably brought on by my massive sleep deprivation. i probably don't even make sense. but i want to matter. not just be a cog.

funny story - first time i saw the vet on grey's anatomy i was like "holy crap he is hot".. after watching 4 or 5 hours i realized that mcVet is chris o'donnell. i totally didn't recognize him in the first episode he appeared in. funny how i still think he is hot. i would totally pick mcVet, but i guess you can't help who you like.

happy mother's day!

my mom listening to a vm from my sister (also a mommy!)



grandma and my dad with a silly face

i know i have been uber lazy about blogging.. sorry.. i've been uber lazy about a few things.. well not lazy - apathetic? still debating if i want to post hawaii and vegas pictures. maybe a few.. but usually when i get time to blog i usually don't want to stare at the computer anymore (usually because i've wasted too much time on myspace).. hahha.. i know i'm lame. whatever...

potato chips for breakfast, champagne for lunch and apple pie a la mode for dinner... random i know... but i just wanted to say that. truthfully that's only like 15% of what i ate today.. i've been grazing all day. hah... had a ginormous dinner with mana tonight at lucille's... so good, so full, so worth it :P

i should be sleeping, but i'm glad i was able to catch ben lee on jimmy kimmel. grey's anatomy themed, so he and lara played in patient gowns sitting in hospital beds.

"please, baby, please, open your eyes, catch my disease"

it doesn't really read well, but i swear the song is cute.

one last thing: change change change: http://www.digitaldomain.com/press_release.html

boo hoo....

Blaze guts HB Pier Plaza's Baja Sharkeez restaurant

my own little world of current events.. this is probably only funny to me and three other people.. but here goes.

me: hey so are you guys eating dinner right now?
my dad: no
me: are you going out?
my dad: souplantation is closed today because all their workers went downtown.
me: hahahahhahahahahha

i'm sure you don't get it. i don't care. it cracks me up to no end. i am still laughing.

i am SO popular on myspace.. i get lovely messages from very nice boys all the time. no wonder so many people find great love through the internet. i'm certain i could meet "the one"... for example - a message from my new boyfriend on myspace.

Hi there, i'd like to be straight up honest with you, and want to level with you. My name is Josh, I'm a normal decent guy, currently I'm single, to be honest I've never been in a realtionship. I'm sure you're a very sweet nice woman as well, and you are VERY hot. You look very good. So I was wondering if we could exchange numbers and arrange sometime to get together and make love. Please consider I asked politely, and I promise to be faithful to you and willing to learn to pleasure you like no other.
You got to think, all women will refuse my offer, so you could be that one unique smart woman, that will avoid all these silly games, and just follow your natural human instincts.
Please Do not get offended by my message.

thank you,
MUAH
Josh. :)


i know.. you're jealous. too bad.

through myspace i found out this guy that i went to middle school with died. don't flood my comment box with "i'm sorry"s because i didn't know him that well. i mean.. i did - i went to school with him for a few years.. all of middle school, maybe elementary. i don't really know - but at the same time i haven't talked to him - or most middle school people since then... 11 years. i do remember him though, probably have some pictures and yearbook messages somewhere, so it's always a little sad when someone you know (or knew) died.

and it's weird to be back in a world that have lost touch with, but it doesn't make it any less fond. it's also weird to remember all these people you knew, and know that because i went to cams everything changed for me, but not anyone else.. it's strange, surreal really. but enough about me.

RIP jeff daley.


Jeffrey Marcus Daley

On April 15, 2006, we lost our beloved Jeffrey in a tragic accident. A lifetime resident of Torrance, he was born on October 8, 1980. Jeffrey was loved by all who knew him, and was fortunate to have a great group of lifelong friends. Pursuing his long time dream of a career in law enforcement, he was studying criminal justice at El Camino College and was employed by the Southern California Gas Company. Always confident, Jeffrey could fix anything that was broken and break anything that was fixed. Jeffrey would never turn down a challenge; school, soccer, pool, motor sports, he loved them all. Last one at the card table and the first one at the finish line. His motto "I got this!" Jeffrey is the beloved son of Mike and Mary Kay Daley; devoted brother to Christopher and Colleen; and loving uncle to Riley. He leaves behind the love of his life, Heather Birken. He will always be in the hearts of grandparents, Michael R. O'Sullivan and Joyce Temple as well as numerous aunts, uncles and cousins. He recently lost his loving grandmother Mary Ann O'Sullivan; and great-grandmother, Nana Minnie Rooks. Viewing will be at Rice Mortuary, 5310 Torrance Blvd., Torrance on Friday, April 21, 2006 from 6:00pm - 9:00pm. A celebration of Jeffrey's life will be held at Hickory Park, 2850 W. 232nd Street, Torrance on Saturday, April 22, 2006 at 11:00am. Reception will follow. Please sign the guest book at www.dailybreeze.com/obits. To send the family a message, share a memory, or for directions to services, please go to the mortuary's website, here.

this girl cracks me up.. :) From: Angelee

To: Jean

Date: Apr 20, 2006 12:37 PM

Subject: 4:20

have a happy holiday. don't do anything i wouldn't do.


your favorite stoner,
angeweed

this could have been me tonight, row 17.

BOOO!!!!

it's okay.. i should be working anyways. damn.it.

although i hate the combining of celebrity couple names with a deep deep passion - i think the tagline of "the tomkitten has arrived" is kind of cute. JUST this once though.. that's it.

so yep.. tom cruise and katie holmes had a little girl (unless you believe all the rumors :P) - i bet it's pretty cute... they're both pretty cute. awww... the name strikes me as a little odd: suri. it's got persian or hebrew roots - but i don't think tom or katie are either... it sounds kind of asian.. ahhaha.. not like i can judge really - i guess it's better than apple or naming your kids "brandon and dylan" hahaha :)

cruise, holmes have baby girl named suri

i was going to post some lyrics, but this trumped all - so thank nicole for sparing you from my "don't really have anything good to say, but want to keep people reading post" of song words that is either highly popular to show you "i'm cool" or indie to show you that "i'm cool" - either way.. i think you'll find this much better... enjoy!

(still lazy blogging though.. i know i know)

spaznik: i was about to call you earlier today
spaznik: i was going sheet shoppping
spaznik: and i couldnt decide between brown/beige ones
spaznik: or red ones
spaznik: i went with the red one
jeanyah: oooohh.. sexy
jeanyah: who's comin over?
spaznik: hahahah no one.
spaznik: myself.
spaznik: i also went to target and got those TSHIRT COTTON sheets.
spaznik: :)
jeanyah: ooh.. nice!
jeanyah: my sister bought me hello kitty sheets
spaznik: awwwww
spaznik: pretty!!
spaznik: i ended up getting this quilt cover
spaznik: choice 1
spaznik: it was between that and this choice 2
jeanyah: ooohh
jeanyah: the white looks very.. matrimonial
jeanyah: haha
jeanyah: red is incarnate
jeanyah: they might as well be leopard print
jeanyah: jk
spaznik: ahaahahhaha nah... it would clash with my cheetah skin rug.
jeanyah: oh that's right
jeanyah: i forgot
jeanyah: i haven't been to your room in so long
jeanyah: you've probably been cheating on me
spaznik: its still pink...
spaznik: i feel it gives a "charming" and "homey" feel that contrasts nicely with the whips and chains.
spaznik: ying and yang i say.

i feel a little guilty.

i've been gone for 5 days and my mom took this time to do everything i asked her not to do. she doesn't want "my room" to be a "mess" so she is constantly asking to do my laundry, trying to organize my stuff and create little spaces for everything. sounds like a dream right? not so much. she bought all these containers and crates to create makeshift shelves and whatnot. when i first saw that she bought them i told her that i didn't want them. i left for 5 days and my room is all containered-up. things are organized not in a way that i put them - and it bothers me a little - just because... maybe i feel like i need to do my own thing. "well then you need to move out" you say? i'm working on it. but until the meantime i have to deal with this. arrrggghhh!! plus it's like i don't want to make anything too permanent, because then it will just be a bitch to dismantle when i leave. and i don't want to deal with it.

beth says that i'm not easygoing. i say that i am - well, maybe i'm not 100% easygoing in all areas - i guess i do like my stuff just the way that i like it. i've always liked they saying "there is method to this madness" (or something like that) - because although my room or the way i do things may seem chaotic - there is always a system or method - or at least usually. my room might be messy - but i remember where things are and where i left them (most of the time) - so when i try to find it and it's been rearranged or moved by someone else - i get a little irked. maybe it's a control issue and maybe i'm a control freak. (is there such a thing as an easygoing control freak?) i also hate that i ask her to please not do this, or say no when she asks me questions and then completely disregards me and does it anyways. i almost want to say "if you're so into organizing, do it to your own stuff! i'd never say that to her face, but my dad and sometimes my mom reads this so i guess it's as good as done.

i feel guilty because i know my mom isn't doing this to spite me and isn't mal-intentioned. i know she's doing it because she loves me and she thinks that this is the best way. it might be good - but i don't want this much clutter. i get aggitated easily lately in confined spaces with her (see previous post) and i throw my attitude around - sometimes i try harder than others to keep it in check - but it usually rears its ugly head. i honestly hate when people do the complete opposite of what i say i want when it concerns me and my stuff. if it's your life, then whatever.. you can listen to me, you can not. i may be offended or peeved, but it's not my life. my stuff - i like it the way i want it, hands off. my parents don't seem to get this concept. like tonight as i was leaving to go back to my sister's, my dad says that my back car window is dirty and proceeds to wipe it with the napkin in his pocket. i have told him time and time again to not do it because it puts ugly streaks on the window, and not that i car so much about car cleanliness, but the streaks irritate me when i'm driving. i got a bit agitated and maybe made my dad feel a little bit bad. but he does this time and time again, and it bothers me to no end that he is not even listening to me. i'm okay with suggestions, but overbearingness is a different issue. but i feel bad because there are a ton of other people who wish there were so lucky. i know my parents are great, but i feel guilty because it's so easy to get mad. not to say that i'm not justified sometimes, but i come from a background where you're supposed to respect your parents no matter what... not that i don't, but respect in a sit down, shut up and take it kind of way, and that i don't do so well. i talk back and fight - and i like that about me, but i don't like that part where it makes my parents feel bad.

the trick is next time i go away - to never come back... :P

today my dad told me that next time i better not come home, because everytime we just fight and so he doesn't want to see me. or something like that. i don't remember the exact words because i think i just tuned out after "don't come home" - granted it was after i made some snarky remark and i know he doesn't really mean it - but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

my mom is currently sitting in the garage downstairs because she is too pissed/angry/sad or other to come inside. i kind of don't care. and then i kind of feel guilty. and then i kind of feel glad.

today my retarded ass boss scheduled me for a game that i think got cancelled - but yet he didn't tell me about it. so i show up, freak out for a bit because i can't find what i need for the game and then get angry because i realize that i'm not supposed to be there at all. i cut my meeting short, i missed out on dinner with my sister and i missed out on costin's band playing because i was supposed to be "working". i am putting 3 hours on my time card that they'll pay me for even though i left. i'm pretty sure i'll get those hours because i really don't think they ever check - as long as you don't go overtime they don't really check the hours. i come home because i am supposed to be taking my mom up to my sister's so she can help out with jake. i have to drive my mom because she doesn't drive on the freeway, it will save my dad a trip and i am already down in the area. i don't mind really.. or i didn't at first. i call my mom to tell her that i am coming home earlier than expected but she says she still has stuff to do before she can go. i try to go to the gym but i realize i didn't bring any sneakers. so i have a fun conversation with beth on the phone in the parking lot and go on my merry way home. my mom is still doing stuff and i am suddenly super exhausted. i try and find things to entertain myself, but in the end i just decide to take a nap. later my mom comes and says she is ready and i just kind of lay there in my half asleep state thinking that 10 more minutes isn't going to matter. oh how much difference it makes.

my mom is asking my dad to put some stuff in the car and so i yell downstairs saying "don't put it in the trunk there isn't any room" and then i keep yelling for her because i have gotten no response and when i ask her if she heard me she says something to the effect of "who doesn't hear you when you yell" i wonder why she is being so rude and just brush it off as she's already pissed at my dad. i try to get a few more minutes of sleep and then i hear my parents yelling about yet another thing. i figure that i should just get the hell out of there as soon as i can and just stop the fighting. i go downstairs and my parents are fighting about the printer. my dad is frustrated because he can't get the printer to work with only the black color cartridge. he just says he wants to get a new one and my mom is arguing because she is saying he is wasteful and he just got the printer and it's not "junk" as my dad is calling it. i try to help my dad to get the printer to work and in the end he just ends up getting frustrated with me as well and tells me to leave. i start going out the door and realize that i still have to load all of my mom's stuff into the car. my mom is still yelling at my dad and i very annoyedly just tell her to stop. of course it's never a good idea to get in the middle of things, but yet i do it anyways. somewhere in the midst of all the yelling i tell her that she is unreasonable and that she needs to stop yelling. oh my mom loves that.. let me tell you. i walk out in a fit to put my stuff in the car and am coming back to get my mom's stuff. she has knocked over some boxes in a fit and starts complaining about how if i don't want to take her stuff and there's no room for it then maybe she'll just put it back in her room and maybe she just won't go to my sister's house. then i find out why she was so rude earlier. i realize she thinks i said that there is no room in the car and to not put her stuff in. i tell her that i said "'no room in the trunk' and that's why i asked if you had heard me" and so she proceeds to argue with me "you didn't say trunk"... somewhere along the lines she says "i didn't hear trunk .. SORRY" - but she's already too pissed to that we're not really communicating at this point. i am trying to explain to her, she's not listening to me, i can't get a complete sentence out and she just thinks i'm trying to be argumentative. my dad comes in and just grabs all her stuff in a fit and says he'll put it in the car - and i say i'll do it, so then we start fighting. my mom is still standing in the house and i'm somewhere in between the driveway and our house standing outside yelling and i'm sure all of our neighbors think we're looney. i finally get in the car - my mom is trying to say something, i'm trying to say something and nothing is really being heard. she's telling me how i shouldn't get into the middle of fights between her and my dad, and i am trying to tell her that she should listen more and not everything and everyone is against her - just like how i wasn't trying to say there is no room in the car for her stuff. she cuts me off and tells me that i'm currently yelling at her. and i say something about how i'm crying or something and then she cuts me off saying that i'm making it too hot for her because i'm defrosting the windows. i get angry and say how i was defrosting the windows and then she says "well if you're going to cry then i suggest you put on the emergency blinkers and stop on the side of the road and cry because the fog is in your eyes and not on the window." at that point i lose it. (this talk is not all in chronological order - but you get the jist). i think this whole fight started because as i was stomping out of my house i said something like "everything has to be done your way whether you are right or wrong" and she obviously gets angry when i make bold statements as such. i just ask her not to talk anymore because i am already sobbing and the conversation really goes nowhere. she says "see it has to be your way" i try to speed so i can get home faster and she's not having that either. in the end i guess we compromised. i wouldn't speed if she would just shut up.

i know i am not faultless in this. maybe i am an ineffective communicator. maybe i am spoiled. maybe i am selfish. maybe i am stubborn. maybe i am an awful child. sometimes i just want parents who don't fight all the time about every little thing. sometimes i just want parents who will support me - even if i'm making mistakes. sometimes i want them to tell me i'm doing a good thing - not because i asked but because they really believe it. sometimes i don't want to always have to be on the defensive and seem like i have to fight for everything. sometimes i just want some to believe me. sometimes i just want it to be easy.

i know that my parents are just doing what they think is right. i know i probably should be more "respectful" - or at least that's what they think. i know part of them thinks that they have failed because they have raised such an insolent daughter. and that hurts to think that they are dissapointed in what i've become - because i didn't think that i was all that bad - but yet they always manage to make me question it.

this is reason #2934821029 that i need to be on my own - so at least i can do a better job of ignoring it. when i am separate i guess less easily annoyed by the little things, when they're in my face everyday, i never want to come home. i know that this will be one of those moments when my parents are no longer around that i will regret and be sorry that i treated them that way. but it still doesn't make me less angry now. okay - maybe less angry, but still annoyed and still sad. i wish i could move far far away - like new york or something so i could just sever it completely. ignorance is bliss. but then again sometimes i wish i could just fix it - and i guess that's where i get myself in trouble. how do you fix something that irreparable?

this morning when i woke up - despite the fact that i had gotten 7 hours of sleep or so i was still SO exhausted and dead tired. i attributed it to daylight savings and the fact that my body thought it was 7am when i woke up instead of 8am. i got some coffee and perked right up - almost giddy and kind of giggly.

the BEST part of daylight savings though - is that even though i've spent 10 hours here at work.. is that i can not believe it's 7pm already! time to go!! AND it's still light out. i think i had this exact same post last year during daylight savings - but honestly - i can not tell you how great it is. well i guess i just did - but i still don't think you GET it.

i'd write more - but i gotta go!!!

i know i'm supposed to be editing right now - but of course i am not. i am surfing the internet. i lifted these off someone's myspace and they make me laugh. the ninth one (jennifer horton from denise) made me laugh out loud. i'm sure they are fake and not actually from little kids, but imagine if they are... hilarious.


g'damn i love that ninth letter.

happy birthday to my big sister joan :) she is the big 3-0 - three decades old. crazy huh? actually it's not that bad - i mean.. it doesn't really seem any different. we were going to watch that episode of friends where rachel turns 30, but it wasn't totally fitting because it doesn't really seem like that at all. no dismay or anything. i was thinking about how i'm turning 25 this year, and it's kind of cool that we'll always be celebrating big milestone bdays in the same year. like.. mid-decade or decade birthdays. i dunno why, but to me those seem like milestones.

anyways.. i made my sister cupcakes and put them in my cupcake stand and left them for her to find when she wakes up. i took a few pictures, but didn't have time to really do much with them cuz i was rushing out the door to get to work. maybe later. they kind of ended up looking a little bit like the hostess cupcakes because i used chocolate frosting and then wrote on them with white frosting.. so from far away maybe that's what they'd be mistaken for. i like them regardless. and they looked especially awesome in my cupcake stand. i love it.

this past weekend was up and down.. kind of weird. friday went to see thank you for smoking with friends, yes for the second time.. but it was good, and i wanted to go with my friends to see it, so that's what you gotta do. we tried to go out later, but it didn't quite work out, but me and courtney ended up at this karaoke place that was kind of fun.. but i was already kind of pooped, and not in the mood to drink (i know.. bizarre right? jk) and so i wanted to go home early. saturday - funeral for my old lady neighbor - will blog about her later... can't do it right now).. saturday night i was in a weird funk mood, but i had to go to target and then bought 3 pairs of shoes to cheer myself up a little. hahaha.. retail therapy is good times. went to a party that wasn't so hot and then headed home. sunday - birthday party fun galore. too much food, 3 different cakes, beard papa cream puffs and i am the scene it "alternate title for movie" champion and trump might be a new favorite game. good times really.

okay.. i'm super exhausted.. i'm in this weird disfunctional state. i can't even really eat or drink correctly - i've choked 2 or 3 times. brilliant huh? okay.. back to work.. maybe. i also gotta figure out some 401k info. and what kind of kegs to get. haha. it's all work related.. i swear.

ps. sakura i did use the shampoo sunday morning. you guys are right. super clean :)

so about that plane crash...

it makes me kind of sad - not that it wasn't already - but there were 3 people on the plane - an old 80's tv game show host and his wife - the 3rd hasn't been found yet (maybe he/she has now - but not last i checked the news) and they were on their way to san diego to pick up someone who needed treatment at ucla. he was a part of a non-profit group who provides free air transportation for needy patients. here was someone who is of semi-fame and doing something great when they can, and they die. i know i know - bad stuff happens all the time - but i can't help but be sad. plus i thought that at 11am when i was watching the news, the second person had survived - but maybe they died shortly thereafter. sucky.

apparently someone else('s gf) from work had a camera and was nearby:

private plane crashes in ocean near santa monica pier

kind of crazy - there are like 4 helicopters in the sky flying out above near my work. i wish i had my camera with me so you could see all the floating in the sky newsies. there's this constant motor beating hum in the background. in must be a little bit of insanity down there right now. check out your 11am news.

this is for my sister - i <3 my cupcake stand

you want to hear something i think is funny? does anyone watch my name is earl? you know the crab man? i swear he's the guy on the outside of our office max catalogues. like that's what he did right before he got his (semi) big break. it makes me chuckle everytime i pull out the catalogue to order something.

went to a ben lee show last night. it was good :) his music is a little cheesy and literal (self proclaimed sometimes maybe even) - but that's they way i like it so i had a really good time. besides the fact that i'm a sucker for boys with guitars. i never really listened to him much (aside from a few songs) and that's why going to live shows are always so great - i'm definitely a fan. there were these girls in the audience who you could tell were RABID fans. they got all crazy, sang along (pretty loudly) and drew lots of attention to themselves. normally - i'm sure that's great, but in smaller venues, it's not as great. i mean.. i've heard both sides of the argument - "i paid as much as you i can enjoy it how i want" but then again you don't want to infringe upon other people's concert going experience. if it's a large venue with 15,000 screaming girls then it's not as big of a deal. but last night wasn't that. they got a few looks and smiles from ben lee and his super awesome so well coordinated accompaniment lara - which i bet made their day. but i swear sometimes they were looks like "oooookay." i think this because those were the girls on my left. the girls on my right - were really cute, totally into the show, mouthing along to the words (maybe singing - but i never heard them) and just really enjoying themselves (as they should be) but not really drawing lots of attention to themselves. one of the girls on picked by lara to come up on stage and help hold an instrument during a song (one of his most popular probably) - little tiny piano. she was stoked, her friend was taking pictures on the camera phone. i bet the girls on the left were green with envy. so much so that when people started clapping their hands for the beginning of the song she had to get up and run over to the side and do a big exaggerated clapping stomping exercise. it's like.. just chill man.

i'm so mean - i shouldn't make fun of girls like that. i was snickering a little bit - but at the same time i was snickering a little bit at myself because i wondered if i ever looked like that during my mraz uber-obsession phase. hahaha..

that was a good story for this morning.

girlfromwork: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060307/ap_en_ce/tv_bachelor_split
girlfromwork: i knew it wouldn't last
jeanyah: LOL
jeanyah: dude.. i think they broke up a long long time ago
jeanyah: " Asked if they might reconnect romantically after publicity has died down, both just laughed."
jeanyah: i think they're laughing at the word "reconnect" because that implies there was a connection in the first place

i still feel cheated... when i see that picture on the webpage i think "SHAM!!!"

see moana... guys like that don't pick girls like her either... :P

i know that my sister is going to call me a picture stealer - but i can't resist because jake is so awesome and my sister is such a good photographer... (kissing up always tends to soften the blow of the accusations :P) anyways.. <-- that picture is just so damn cute i had to put it up, but then i also had to type out this disclaimer.

i realized i never really wrote about sundance. well i mean.. i blogged a little bit from there, but never did a real in depth recap. i mean in general i've stopped writing about my everyday ongoings and no more listing what i eat (pete, i know you're sad..) and i don't know if it's apathy, lazyness or me "growing" out of my blog (*gasp.. such blasphemy!!) or really a different approach to my blogging - but i have missed out on writing about somethings. i'm not going to go into detail here - BUT.. here are two things you should check out.

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING - funny funny funny FUNNY movie. i highly recommend it. it'll probably be the napoleon dynamite of this year.. but different because it's not just quirky funny - it's really smart funny so i think a whole lot of people will like it. plus it has all the press from the missing katie holmes sex scene/tom cruise scandal that i think it's garnered a lot of interest. good for them. BUT it is so good, i'm probably going to see it again the friday it comes out. i lurved it.

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN - i couldn't find a website, but imdb says it's going to be released march 31 in the US.. which is weird since i haven't heard much about it - but i haven't exactly been keeping up. i liked this movie a lot (as you can tell) and maybe it's because i liked the people in it. my heart beats like a 12 year old school girl for josh hartnett and i like lucy liu a lot too.. so.. yea. but it's a good story line - even beth enjoyed it even though she figured out the plot line and tried to ruin it for me in the middle of the movie. :P hahah.. it's a little bit gory (in a sin city-esque but non comic way) but i just kind of wince and move on. i'm sure it will be a big hit due to all the big names - i guess i just haven't really been paying attention much.

okay.. that's enough for now. i guess i never posted too many pix from sundance just because i got lazy. plus i didn't have my camera for all of saturday (the busy day) because i'm lame and i left the battery in the hotel room. same ol same ol you know - snow & screenings - and then some parties. there are pictures floating around somewhere. i'll probably be posting some other pictures later once i get off my lazy ass and load the software for my new camera (yay) into the computer. it just takes too much effort for my current liking :P oh and one more thing about sundance - tyler hilton up close and personal.. i *heart* his music, he's really good.. check him out :) (and i'm not just saying this because of his pretty boy exterior.. he really is good stuff)

so i had waited to post this until i was sure that my sister had seen the results of the bachelor. (if you haven't watched and don't want to know.. don't read this...) but my sister is a cheater and couldn't wait to watch it (technical difficulties) so she googled the answer. i'm sure she was shocked - but missed out on all the fun that i had - yelling at my tv like an idiot.

I CAN'T BELIEVE TRAVIS FREAKING PICKED SARAHtennesee

when moana stepped out of the first limo i screamed "nooooooooooo" and then did so repeatedly... my friends probably think i'm a moron, being so invested in this reality tv smut. i was so upset and disgusted i almost didn't want to watch sarah tennessee get her ring on a necklace - i don't even think he asked her to accept that final rose. plus the stuff he said to moana before he rejected her was way better than any of the stuff he said to sarah. AND he started off almost the exact same way "beautiful"... who does that?!

i told nicole that i felt like carlene did after that second season of average joes. where stupid adam picked the hot girl instead of the "average" girl who he totally ahd a connection with. i think travis picked the "safe" girl that maybe his parents liked and that he could see the white picket fence and 2.5 kids with... and with moana it wasn't as clear - but what is after a few month of dating?? i feel cheated out of watching this season because it's such a sham. and there is no after the rose special which makes me think there is some huge drama or simply they're not together anymore.

in all fairness - i won't ever really know what happened. (unless i make friends with moana on myspace.. haha.. which btw has totally blown up. she gets 50+ comments a day about how "you're the real winner" and she posted this blog about being "void" (poetry she wrote i think) and a jillion and two people read it, gave her kudos, commented... it's a little insane) but anyways.. maybe there was a great connection between sarah and travis. it just didn't seem like it. travis would glow when moana was around and defended her to his parents and when he said goodbye he couldn't even let go of her hand. it makes me sad... and i'm not even a part of it. but it make me intrigued because i wish i could have been a logger and watched all 50 billion hours of footage... the show is all in the editing baby. but yet.. i still feel cheated (which could = bad editing.) so dissapointing.

i guess i should be glad i didn't bet on my "sure thing" i'd be out $100. ahahah.. my sister pointed out that travis was on ellen a few weeks ago and ellen asked if he was in love and he said that he was "happy with his decision" and ellen was like "you're so not in love" and all he could do was laugh. i bet you they're not together or else abc would pimp the heck out of them. although no one would want to watch so maybe they're just trying to save face. sad though if they're not together and now that know they live .5 miles from each other..... awkwaaaard....

i watched two movies last night just to veg out because i had a rough day at work. i watched monster in law which was SO SO SO BAD. normally i like j.lo's romantic comedy movies - i think everyone loves wedding planner, and maid in manhattan is kind of cute. she is exceedingly annoying in monster in law and michael vartan seems like such a tool. would you say that's good acting? i watched wedding crashers later and that was funnier and better, so i'm glad i watched them in that order.

i have had enough dissapointment for one week.

me + snowboarding = so painful

:0

is it that i'm immature or just cool like joey/rachel that i snicker a little bit everytime my boss tells me that i have to buy some "lightwave dongles"

*snicker, snicker, snicker*

ahahah..

on a more clever note.. this is kind of cool. apple is having this contest where people who download a 100,000th song get an ipod nano, and the person who downloads the 1 billionth song gets this mega prize pack including $10,000 itunes gift card, a 20 inch iMac, and then 10 60gb video ipods. TEN!! 5 white and 5 black. seriously? who needs 10? i mean.. i guess you could keep one of each color, and then have ones for back up in case they break. or really - you're just going to make 8 friends. but 10 ipods seems a bit excessive.. just give them a g5 or something.

nevertheless, if you want to try winning you can utilize this. someone sent it out at work and i couldn't quite figure out the best way to utilize it, but i'm not trying to win - so if you're really into it, i hope it helps. and if you win those 10 ipods, remember who loves ya baby.

so i'm a little spooked. these near death or almost car crash experiences are happening to me a little way too often.

not cool, i tell you... not cool.

so i was driving home from vivian's house and about to go through an intersection and the light turned from red to green and as i'm driving through the intersection i hear this loud crash and see this car coming the opposite direction towards me and i realize that it could possibly hit me. hit me in the back, send me into a tailspin... yikes.

the car (like in slow-mo) passes by me and i drive through the intersection and look in my rearview mirrors. there's a truck that hasn't left yet, and a few other cars. i don't know whether i should stop, keep going, turn around... the trucks finally take off and go and i'm wondering if i should try and help. maybe i want to be more empathetic or helpful since nicole was just in a hit and run.

finally i turn around and try to see what's up, there's already a cop car there. that's good. i hover for a bit and finally park behind the cop car. i get out of my car, but the cop is in the middle of the street picking up the car's bumper out of the way. i second guessed whether it was actually a white minivan i saw fleeing from the scene, or maybe was i just mistaken. the cop isn't really paying any attention to me, so i just get back in my car and leave. i figure i can't really help. i drive away, but i'm scared. i do my usual post almost accident drive, driving 6mph and finding someone on the phone to console me.

sometimes i get scared about what i'd be missing out on in my life if i died. all the things i haven't done yet. do i hurry up and do them now? you never can tell what's going to happen to you. are all these almost accidents telling me that i should appreciate what i have? enjoy what i do have, make the most of what's going on? i know i've been questioning a few things in my life lately... maybe i shouldn't be questioning, maybe i should make lemonade out of lemons. it's all too complex for me to think about right now... but be safe my babies okay? it may not be your fault, but it could still happen to you. <3

my guilty pleasures worlds have collided.

hahaha... check this out:

moana

susan

jehan

kristen

tara
(her profile wasn't set to private before - all their profiles must have blown up recently)

if you know me, you know that i am HIGHLY addicted to myspace. and that i also love love LURVE the bachelor. guilty pleasures indeed. so after some surfing on monday i found that the lovely bachelorettes are also myspacers. which is so funny to me, because it makes me want to look up everyone who's anyone because most likely you will find them on myspace. not that i didn't know that before because i've spent a lot of time stalking co-workers, old school friends, random people... you can find almost anyone... it's cool - yet scary how accessible everyone is. BUT.. it's funny because it's not like these girls just signed up for myspace after the show, but they have been part of it for a long time too. and it's funny to read the comments from their actual friends, and plus to/from each other. i would have thought that none of them would talk to moana ever again - but they are leaving nice lovely messages to each other about how they miss each other so much. and that shows you the power of editing of reality tv. i am also very jealous because jehan has pictures with hot jerry from the jen scheft bachelorette season. probably at some bachelor reunion/celebration party. i wonder if they cut out the scene of the bachelor where the girls are like "oh you're on myspace, i am too?!" you know they did... that's part of regular introductory lingo nowadays.

my early pick was moana :) and she's TOTALLY going to win now that susan is out of the running. no way that sarah tennessee can beat her. puh-leeze. too bad i didn't actually take the $100 bet with jeff or i'd be way happier. haha.

i also love baking - and last night at target beth helped me find a cupcake stand. i wanted one so long ago - i almost bought one for $20 at michaels. i got the one from target for $5 on sale. yes!! this also prompted more hilarity from my mom:

my mom: what did you buy at target?
me: a cupcake stand
my mom: what?
me: a cup. cake. stand.
my mom: huh?
me: a STAND
my mom: like to decorate cupcakes with?
me: (realizing she thinks i'm saying sand) - no.. stand to put cupcakes in

one last thing...

congrats to the people at my work, we won the Visual Effect Society's (VES) awards for "Outstanding Visual Effects in a Music Video" for Nine Inch Nails Only... whoo hoo.. :)

just in time for valentine's day:

boys are idiots.

the end.

i really should be sleeping - especially if i want to be of any use later today.. but.. i just wanted to post a quick blog. i watched annapolis tonight. despite some people saying it wasn't very good and it doing so poorly in the box office (i still can't believe it's losing to big momma's house) i really liked it. but that's how everything goes - i usually like those movies that people say aren't so great :P it's the whole surpassing expectations thing. so yea.. i am cheesy and i cheered a little bit when "directed by justin lin" came up. i know.. cheesy. but so i think you all should go see it. please please beat big momma's house... the sequel nonetheless. it's not a totally military movie, yet not a total boxing movie - a nice little combination of both. plus a side of friendship and love story. and jordana brewster is really pretty by the way. and of course there is james franco with no shirt on :P but seriously.. go see annapolis - i mean.. it's not the riveting life altering movie - but it's feel good and enjoyable and does makes you care about the characters. it's gotta be better than big momma's house... although i bet #1 will be when a stranger calls or something.

ps. in the previews they had this scary scary preview for this movie with a boy on a swing. i can't tell you much more than that because i put my hands up to sheild my view and carol closed her eyes... we so were not having that scary movie business. i'm definitely glad i did because i'm sure i would be having nightmares. but i'm a little bit curious. anyone want to tell me what it's about (in the non-scariest way possible) :)

my gmail is down

my myspace is undergoing maintenance..

hmm. trusty blogger.. here you are.

hilarity from my mom:

my mom: are you coming home tomorrow?
me: mmm... i don't think so, i'm going to a contender fight tomorrow
my mom: a what?
me: a boxing match
my mom: boxing? you're going to go and be all buff and muscley (aka manly)
me: umm.. i'm going to watch, not going to fight in it
my mom: oh.

hahahah.. i thought it was funny.

update:

so i'm paying $35 for my doctor's office to provide me with copies of my own freaking medical records. there's a law that states that they are only allowed to charge you a reasonable cost (supplies, labor, postage) for you to mail your records. honestly - i think that $35 is a little high and unreasonable, but that whole "reasonable" thing is subjective. besides if they're going to charge me $15 to hand my papers to a copy service and i have to pay the copy service way more than $20.. so i guess whatever. they won't make copies until i pay them, so i had to give them my cc# and they say they can only make copies on tuesday & thursday, because they see patients all day on monday, wednesday, fridays. apparently - they are incapable of something i like calling doing more than one thing at a time, or rather, not being an idiot. but they can't make copies until next tuesday because the doctor is on vacation this week and he needs to okay the records to be sent out. (although you could question why they're so busy if the doctor is out. but i know that they bring in a temp doctor when my doctor likes to go on vacation, which is fairly often).

i know i'm making a big fuss over this little thing, but after all the shit having gone through - i think they are just being ridiculous. this is how they treat people - it's sort of retarded. they're so retarded. they're rude and retarded and never EVER go to see dr. irvine in hermosa beach because they're the absolute worst. i almost feel like typing up my "story" and sitting outside their offices and passing it out to people who would be going to see them. hah. my other chiropractor already gave the records and he says that people usually do it as a courtesy. my mom says that it's because i am currently a patient with the other chiro, and that i'm not with the first chiro, but regardless i don't think anything really justifies their behavior. assholes.

&*^%#^@)&!!

remember the incident with the worst chiropractic office EVER!!? well they are back. little things, but not stuff i wanted them to add on their long list of assholeness.

my lawyers called me today saying that dr. irvine's staff, specifically gabby, won't release my papers and the medical statement because they're "too understaffed" to get the paperwork together to send over to my lawyer's office. seriously? it takes you that much effort to fax over some paperwork that between 3 people you can't do it? you must be incompetent. but we already knew that. so my lawyer says we have to pay a copy service to go over to hermosa (my lawyer's offices are located in alhambra) and pick up the papers so they can make copies of them. furthermore, we have to pay dr. irvine's office FIFTEEN DOLLARS to prepare the paperwork to be picked up. seriously?! i have to pay you $15 to pull a file out of a drawer?!! i know $15 isn't a whole lot of money, but it's the principle here people. i mean.. if they said they were charging us $15 to send my lawyer's the copies.. i'd grumble a little bit, but i wouldn't be this outraged. granted.. maybe my paper work isn't all in one file (because they suck ass) and maybe they have to do some work to put it together.. but that's not my fault they aren't organized? everyone i know says "how hard is it to get some paperwork, push print, or copy?" my second chiropractor (who is awesome by the way - kyle schleicher on wilshire & 7th - 310.395.7535) has one assistant, ONE, and he managed to get the paperwork through. they're totally being spiteful bitches. i can't believe that's how they run their company. i'm going to call tomorrow and see what they say if i want to pick up my own files.. they'll want to charge me too.. this initimidating looking biker like man (but totally nice) offered to go pick up my paper work (and i wanted to add rough em up a little bit) - but i don't want to have to resort to that. i don't know.. i hate this crap, i hate them, why can't they just get over the fact that i left because they suck ass and give me my paperwork, why must they be total shitheads. UGH.

went to the premiere of see this movie with john cho and seth meyers :) i like them both. i didn't loooove the movie, but it was enjoyable and amusing. it has it's definite funny moments and it's a good time, so go see it to watch a not horrible film and something that's not the usual norm. it's in limited release so go and try and see it if you can. you may not want to try something that's not a "hit" ... sooooo... if that's not your thing definitely go see annapolis directed by justin lin!! :) whooo. it seems like a military movie.. but it actually a boxing story.. (i know it's not that easy to tell from the traiilers) but i hear it's good stuff.. AND james franco is hot :P

speaking of boxing i just got home from a contender fight. it was surprisingly exciting. i've never really watched boxing before (actual boxing.. cinderella man doesn't count) and i was kind of nervous about it being to gory or violent.. but it's actually pretty thrilling :) because it's not just "fighting" you know.. there's skill and purpose and strategy, rules, point system.. it's pretty interesting. and it's a lot of fun being in the arena and seeing the cameras (i'm such a production goober). it's like all athletic events - you cheer for "your guy" and "my guy" won :) so it was good times. i'm glad i was with someone who LOVES boxing because it makes me that much more excited - because otherwise i just feel like the girl who is yelling out things that she doesn't really understand or make sense. haha. i was that anyways.. but i feel a little more legitimate sitting next to someone who actually knows what they're saying :)



i also spent a lot of this weekend shooting the short traffic in the sky. it's fun and engaging. i'm really glad i'm doing it even though it's eating up a lot of time.. it's temporary though.. and worth it. it's a little strange and me and charles are working together on this film after so long of not really keeping in touch after middle school. neat really, but it intrigues both of us. that makes me happy too. i guess that's all i'm going to say about that.

man.. i totally just teared up watching grey's anatomy.... i like good tv.

happy chinese new year!

my fav conversation for tonight:

nicole: yea i was in a hit and run accident
me: aww.. are you okay?
nicole: yea.. and umm. your christmas present was in my trunk
me: god nicole! why can't you be more careful??!!

haha.. of course that was in jest. we spent a good 3 minutes laughing while i cried over my lost crumpled christmas present. haha. it sounds silly when i type it out, but i swear it was funny :P

side note:
.. i need to get back on the bandwagon ...

we just got back from screenings a little while ago and while i'm waiting to shower, i thought i'd blog - because i'm obsessed. i wish i could post all the pictures of the picturesque scenery (yay for snow) but i didn't bring my cable, so it'll just have to wait. we saw three movies today - and it was kind of a lot.. only because i had so little sleep and it's it was in the span of 8 hours. and then add in trying to eat and travel time.. not much room for leisure.. but it's all a good time. we spent the later part of the afternoon/evening in salt lake because that's where our screenings were. tomorrow is our park city day.. so it's nice to get to see both because i didn't get to last time.

i'm going to "try" to get up early enough to go into park city for a screening (emphasis on the word try) and right now it's setting in just how tired i am.. and i have a long day ahead. you think i can wake up at 6am? (it's one hour ahead too.. so it's actually 3:45am)

small summary for today (yesterday) - not previously mentioned

*park city to pick up tickets and eat a little lunch (who knew utah would have decent japanese food).. although i am SUPER sad that my favorite 24 hangout place rUinTAH eggs was not there anymore. BOO! it was always so crowded - i wonder what happened.. maybe it only thrived during sundance times.

*hotel check in - funny fiascos and had to switch rooms 3 times, which is funny only to me because i just saw the episode of friends where monica and chandler go on a weekend getaway (when they were still hiding their relationship) and she made chandler switch rooms like 10 times.

*drive back to salt lake to catch the 3 screenings: friends with money, factotum & lucky number slevin

*dinner at red rock brewing co... (waiting, bar seats, ordering, leaving, to go....) if that doesn't make sense to you it's really just a note to myself.

*midnight screening of lucky number slevin in a small quaint theatre - my favorite out of the three.

*driving back to the hotel from salt lake - at one point the car thermostat said it 6 degrees farenheit outside. holy cow.. brr! good thing the heater was way up :)

k.. i should go prep for my supposed early day tomorrow.. we'll see if it happens.. but regardless it will be long.

having a blast - wish you were here.

Sundance #1:

Yay!! We’re here. We’re driving in the car to park city from salt lake. The flight here, though early, wasn’t too bad. We couldn’t get a direct flight so even before the butt crack of dawn my dad drove sakura, beth and I to the airport (thanks daddy!) where we met up with Shelby. Gosh a little mc donald’s hash browns (yum!) and waited to board.

(IT’S SNOWING!!)

we had an hour layover in vegas where I was surprised to see how close the strip to the airport – and excited to see they had slot machines in the airport.. haha.. and we followed sakura’s “hunch” and “feelings” to a certain section and after ups and downs I finally won $16!! Whoo!! I know.. small winnings, but it was a exciting start.

we’re driving into park city and going to pick up our tickets, get some food (starving!!), check into our hotel and then off to our first screening!! I want to pack so much stuff in… snowboarding, screenings, seeing the sights, parties, eating :P – but we’re only here for two days. It’s okay.. like all the websites say.. it doesn’t matter much what we do because we’re at sundance and “being at sundance rules all”

haha.. oh.. celebrity alert #1… rider strong (shawn from boy meets world) was on our plane. Beth saw him waiting at the airport but didn’t say anything because she thinks it’s rude… not that I wanted to harass him but I like to sit in my own little pool of giddiness. i’d like to think that I keep the obvious gawking and gaping to a minimum. I saw him while boarding the plane and later reveled with other passengers about the “celebrity” on our plane.. haha.. we’re such nerds…

i have never been so happy that i get off at 7 in my life. i got let our early today because there was a massive power outage... and i was driving home at 5:30.... SO MUCH EFFIN TRAFFIC. ugh. and stupid drivers. it took me damn near 30 minutes to get home. but enough about that.. i need to go pack! and then i have a mtg at 8 in torrance. if i don't finish packing now, i'm going to have to come back to LA to pack after the meeting and then back to torrance to spend the night. and that right there is just impractical. grr... so little time. and i'm procrastinating with my blog. typical :P

i'm so lame!!!

i think things are cool - but they're so not.. at least to everyone else.

i'm a worrywart - bordering on annoying. i worry too much about everything - but i already knew this. i worry if i'm annoying you right now.

i'm a good girl - good bordering on boring.

i'm too nice and helpful - i see things and i want to fix them. i want to make things better. i want to help. help bordering on overbearing. it's like in joy luck club where the mom takes the rotten crab and everyone else gets the best crabs. hah.. i know where i got this from.

i am lame... bordering on pathetic.

but not quite there yet... right?

i'm a dork - but yet hopefully still kind of rad.

on tap: meet the barkers

thank you thank you linh for the awesome belated christmas present!! i laughed with giddyness just because the present was so hilarious. i have had this long standing infatuation with "he's just not that into you".. so i get the book AND the calendar. hi-larious. now i can have a daily reminder about how guys aren't that into me. haha...

this totally trips me out...

jake: week one

jake: week sixteen

they grow so fast, you don't even know. and this is all on milk only! crazy!

ps. i bought that onesie he's wearing in the second picture.. so cute.. i have good taste :P

*SHORTS*

*i'm soooo tired today.. stayed up way too late talking on the phone. it was a great conversation, and i knew it was going to happen, because whenever i call her we spend FOREVER on the phone, but it still makes me uber tired nonetheless.

*i'm kind of wheezey this morning, which i do not like. i was sitting on the ice rink for far too long, with way too little clothing. no.. not skanked out, but i was wearing a skirt and flip flops, which is not great for icy coldness. but i had no choice i came straight from other work & the airport - no time to put on my uber warm clothing.

*i was at the airport because i was dropping my sister and jake off :( (jeff-gu went earlier in another car).. as usual my family loves to run behind schedule when catching flights. haha. it was also a rush because i had to be at work earlier than i had originally anticipated. but while i am glad that i get to be by myself again (in preparation for moving out) - i am sad that they left and there's no more cutie-patootie nephew to play with, no more sister to eat good food and watch days and reality tv with, and no more jeff-gu to play mario party with. good thing it's not 6 months this time.

*when i was leaving i saw this guy loading these giant bags of equipment in tampa bay lighting bags into a locker room. he was looking at me kind of funny, like i was going to maul him and steal the equipment or something. haha. whatever.. what would i want to do with gross, smelly, sweaty hockey junk? oh.. ebay.. that's right. but anyways.. i realize now that he was storing the player's equipment after their game last night. kind of neat.. i'm such a starstruck floozy. and that's so weird too because i'm so close to it all, but really if any of the kings or lightning players or even lakers (aside from kobe, of course) were walking around.. i wouldn't be able to recognize them to save my life. okay maybe the lakers.. cuz i'd be like.. "really tall black dude.. must be a laker" oh.. and luke walton.. cuz he's cute :P

*i had a chance to go on a movie set, which i was super excited about - but then i didn't end up getting to go, which i am kind of bummed about. oh well, next time right? but it was neat hearing about it, and inspiring to hear this person talk about fighting the fight and how all the hard work paid off. hopefully sundance will be equally as inspiring (if i can get into screenings!) and a good energy for everything. but i'm working on a short.. so even if my professional life can't be about that, at least i'm doing something - that's a start.

*it's harder to myspace or blog at work when the part-timer is here with me because she can automatically see onto my screen :P i feel a little guilty when she turns around and there's a ton of pictures from myspace on my screen .. but i just turned around and she's on ebay.. so i'm sure she doesn't really give a hoot.

*yay!! sundance!!!

*i bought boots for this weekend. i call them my fuggs.. (for fake uggs).. because really.. all shearling boots are essentially modeled after the ugg popularity. but i love my fuggs, they're super warm.. and i love it that i can just tromp around in the snow as i please :) and not worry that i spent $130 on a pair of boots that i will either ultimately a)ruin or b)wear once in cold weather and never again because i'm not pretentious enough to pretend that it's cold enough in LA to wear them

*the plan is to move out soon.. but i'm facing this dilemma about living by myself vs. living with strangers. not really a fan of either.. so.. anyone looking for a place to live or need a roomie? :P

*okay.. so too many shorts = a long.. but oh well. still wheezey, maybe i'll run to get some coffee later. gotta read up on some SAG contracts, and organize my itinerary for this weekend.. whoo hoo! oh yea.. and work :P

*best line i've heard lately: "you can't just go out there and be too michelle kwan..."

<3

i've been watching far too much MTV for my own good.

i am totally obsessed with the show NEXT. it's such a guilty pleasure ... i know it's the worst show ever.. but it's so interesting and demeaning all at the same time. when people get instantly NEXTed.. that's so wrong. hahahaha.. the epitome of superficialness is this show.. which is so funny because i saw a casting ad for it on craigslist and it's like "hot hot hot" but i swear that there are so many people on that show that are not remotely hot... odd. but if you want to have 5 minutes of fame... here ya go.

i also caught up on "there and back" the new series about ashley parker angel and him trying to make it as a solo artist post o-town. i am a reality junkie, and i will forever *heart* boy bands - so this is almost my dream come true yah know? hahah.. jk. but seriously.. there was this shot of the pipes of a gas co. or something.. it looked familiar you know the manhattan beach area, and then they went to the lighthouse cafe to hang out for a bit... ashley angel lives near me!! hahah.. but it was so cute, it was his and his girlfriend's two year anniversary so they had a picnic on the beach, he made her this giant card with all these pictures, and serenaded her with this really cute song he wrote and played guitar and sang on the beach, at sunset... so cute.. i'm a total sucker for boys with guitars.. but that's not new.

room raiders texas.. here i come... oh my.. and i have a meeting tomorrow morning.. oh.. i mean this weekend. yay 3 day weekend!

Something strange is happenin' lately
We no longer see eye to eye
Time has changed us, rearranged us
And it leaves me wondering why

Now everything is different
Nothing feels quite the same
All the things we liked
About each other have changed
I don't know about the things that you do
What happened to the person
That I thought I knew?

You go one way and I'll go another
When nothing seems to work
Then why should we bother
We've let these little differences
Tear us apart
They're breaking up our friendship
And their breaking my heart
You need me and I need you
If only together we could see this through

You go left
And I'll go right
Life is just one crazy battle
When we argue, fuss, and fight
You're like day
Oh, and I'm like night
But if we could get together
Maybe things could work out right

I can see so much in you
Why can't we just see this through
Why must everything
In this life be so compllicated
But through all this pain
It's not you I blame
Why can't you feel the same

You're like day
And I'm like night
But if we could get together
Maybe things could work out right

You go left
And I'll go right
Life is just one crazy battle
When we argue, fuss, and fight
You're like day
Oh, and I'm like night
But if we could get together
Maybe things could work out right

We'll try to make it alright now
We'll try to make it alright now

~Save Ferris, Little Differences

today is my day of perpetual lateness. an off kilter day... maybe in preparation for friday the 13th huh? which is actually now.. but i guess in that sense that means i'm early huh? :P

today i slept in and woke up when i was supposed to already be at work... but i paid for it.. because i start running around like a maniac pretty quickly after i got there. as soon as i got back to my desk i'd have to run all around all over again. i got back to my desk around noon or so and i was absolutely poop-ed. it was so weird, because it was just a few steps right? a couple of door, crossing the street, stairs... man i'm such a wuss. but in my defense, it also didn't help that i wasn't really wearing the best walking shoes (aka high heels). haha.. lunch was good though.. el tarasco.. YUM. i *heart* el tarasco and heart carnitas. i had a tough time deciding between carne asada and carnitas. i know my day is filled with so many tough decisions. :P

after work i crammed down my leftovers from lunch and figured that i had enough time to go make some (or many) returns at target. that was nice.. i like getting money back :) there were a few things wrong.. but for the most part it was okay. i can fix them later i suppose. i hate this whole "time limit" thing on returns. i mean.. i'm fine with getting store credit if it's been too long, but not being able to return it at all? that sucks. anyways.. i sauntered off to work #2 thinking everything was okay.. and then i get this text message "no scorekeeping today?" and it strikes me a little odd. i see a game going on on the NHL rink and i panic a little bit because i think the game on the NHL rink and the olympic rink start at the same time. i breathe a little bit easier when i find out that the olympic game rink doesn't start until 9:15, which is the time i'm supposed to be at work..... or am i? i hear that they had some trouble with the scorekeeper on the NHL rink and that that person wasn't there at 8:45 when the game started.. and the guy who's supposed to do the 9:15 game is covering. uhh.. who's supposed to be on the NHL rink.. oh right.. that's me. OOPS. what was i doing? taking my sweet time at target. hah. man oh man.. i'm sorry.. i felt pretty bad - but i honestly thought i was supposed to work the 9:15 game. perpetual lateness i tell you.

hopefully this means my friday the 13th won't be all helter skelter because i've gotten all the kookyness out. hopefully today wasn't a preview.. because i don't think i want to deal with it.

ps. people are jackasses.

first of all - i didn't get a chance to blog..

happy birthday jill! (two days late)

i feel like blogging - and so i am. i actually really wanted to blog earlier today, but i couldn't get around to it today at work. i was busy.. well not every second of the day, but not really a long enough perioud where i got a chance to do my blog justice. go figure .. i was actually busy at work huh... too busy at work to blog.. that's a change :P i was going through some roller coaster emotions this week. and i don't know if it's a chemical imbalance, a situation thing.. but it's better tonight. :) yay. i was questioning my work a little bit this week, but i got some good advice and today was a better day (versus tuesday.. but it's always hard coming back after a vacation).. so it made it not so bad. plus.. fridays always make things better right?

tonight i also got to hang out with kimmy! i love that girl. she's so pretty and perfect that it makes me want to hate her - but you just can't. i didn't get to hang out with her much because she lived in temple city and then burbank and no one ever wants to drive out there.. but NOW she lives 5 minutes away from my sister. whoo!! she lives in a beautiful aparment with a cool roommate - which makes me want to hate her more.. but i can't. i love hanging out with her.. she fed me and then we went to go get diddy riese, and then came back, chatted, laughed at people on myspace, watched tivo, and built bathroom shelves. man.. i really want to have a place of my own. i'm at an impasse.. i don't want to live with a stranger, i don't want to live alone, but i only want to live in certain areas... but it can't be perfect. so *sigh* i don't know what to do.. but march is my new deadline. i'll be housesitting again for my sister and the new (old) gig ends in march (again) - so that's my new timeline. i probably shouldn't say it because i don't want to jinx it - but that's the plan my friends. aside from all the fun of living on your own, i really think i need to do it to "grow up".. you know what i mean jellybeans? i think i always knew that - but i was always worried about offending my parents... at this point.. i don't care. i think lately it's been the final straws to cause me to worry a little less about that. someone asked me today about an available place in downey.. but i don't think that i'm quite that desperate. downey.. seriously? hell.no.

anyways.. tomorrow (today) i'm going to a birthday party with a lot of people i haven't seen in a long long time.. it'll be.. interesting. haha. and then working hockey this weekend. i hope it'll be "worth it".. hahaha.

stuff that i need to do:
*research sundance shows
*organize receipts and return stuff
*try to organize ipod stuff?
*figure out which pictures i want to print

i'm sure there is tons more, but this is my list for now.

oh yea.. happy 2006.. it's the first weekend and it was 85 degrees today when i was out and about for lunch. i LOVE it. i love that it's january and sunny and so summer like. whooooo.