wow.. i feel like i haven't blogged in forever.. although it really hasn't been that long. i think it's a combination with being too lazy, tired, moving, starting school, doing cki stuff and having only a dial up connection. although that doesn't prohibit me from staying online for like 3, 4 hours. which isn't so bad, cuz no one ever calls me anyways, except now i share the phone line with roommates, and they're popular as all hell. anyways... hmm.. so since then.. monday i cleaned and packed. well mostly i slept, ran some errands, and sat around on my ass because i wasn't motivated enough to pack. and then when i mom came home, i ran upstairs and pretended like i had been packing the whole day. :) the packing went late into the night.. and i finished at like 3am, fell asleep on the couch at 4 while dubbing some tapes, woke up at 7am when i dragged myself upstairs to my bed, and slept until 11am (tuesday), packed up my car and left. got to sakura's house (with my entire life in my car) at 2pm, right on time for the board meeting, 4 hours later.. i finally got to go home. where i unpacked my car.. (whew) and went to dinner with Vivian at World Famous where they had $1 shrimp tacos.. they were soooooo good. yum. yeah. too bad that i so poor that i can't even afford $1 tacos. yeah.. on top of not being able to afford anything.. i have to pay a $15 charge for vivian's check bouncing (even though I wrote her a check) and pay a $35 parking ticket for my meter being expired for 5 minutes while I was in a meeting for cki. CRAPPY.

hmmm... what else. school on thursday.. was SO not feeling the school thing. i didn't really like either of the classes that i had.. so i'm thinking i might drop them (don't worry.. i'll sign up for new ones.. hopefully). friday.. handed out camptoons.. got on the wrong parking shuttles (and yes.. parking is as atrocious as ever), chilled until i had to go back to school to work at the vball game. it was pretty exciting.. there was a TON of people there because the dept. did this free food, and big promotion dealio to get all the people out there. and we won against cal po-po.. it was good news. it was kind of sad.. there was this little stuffed mustang that they were beating and kicking around. rhiannon and i sat around and made snide comments.. it was fun :) after that Vivian, Emily, Brianne and i went to the Pike part that i swear i was going to fall into the pool, and was crowded with waaaaay too many people (hoochified girls... prolly freshman), went to Mark's house after that, and then jack's house after that. i was just following my drunk roommates around (drunkenly) to wherever they thought the boys were at. hmm.. so i passed out on some guy's couch, and got finally got to go home at 3am where i managed to brush my teeth and drink water before passing out in bed.

woke up today.. in pretty good shape.. just thirsty. bummed and lazed around (after swearing i was going to be productive). and after watching sappy movies like america's sweethearts, someone like you and serendipity.. i dragged myself to work. it was a good game... we played csusb, which is ranked #1, and ucsd was really good... but in the end we lost :( I got to see tanya.. and her parents (who are so cute) were visiting her. came back and chilled.. cleaned my room (finally!) while listening and prancing around to britney spears. heheh... afterwards.. pete came over.. and he sat around and endured emily, vivian, brianne and i being retarded.. and was thoroughly enthralled about how girls could multitask and carry on multiple conversations all at once. yeah man.. chicks rock. hahaha. he strung the guitar justin lent me.. and played a little bit of stuff.. while i sat there with a dopey grin and an amazed look on my face.. i totally want to learn how to play the guitar... and here i am now.. chillin at 5am (yikes).. talking to cool philly and blogging.. being scared at the ghettoness of my neighborhood because i'm hearing glass shatter and car alarms going off, and when i called the police they said they couldn't do anything about it because it was so long ago. god dang it.. all i wanted was someone to drive up and down the street once to make sure everything was okay.. what other important business could they be doing at 5am!? geez!! protect my safety here people.. isn't that what your job is? ugh.. i am not a fan of the police right now. anyways.. i should go.. i have cki business to take care of tomorrow.. good morning!!

oh yeah.. happy belated birthday manny and mike salamanca!!

manny: thanks for the birthday wishes
jean: you're welcome.. did you have a fun birthday?
manny: i don't remember it.

ALRIGHT. so i'm entirely too frustrated because my day has not shaped up so well, and it's continuing to be sucky. my email is being way too slow for my liking, but it's stuff that i need to read, so i figure i'll blog while i wait. i'll probably be done before my inbox even appears. damn the studentlink. anyways... hmm.. friday i worked. it was okay. my manager was is a pissy mood, and decided to yell at me. i mean.. it was things that i was doing wrong, but they were things that everyone was doing wrong. and it was more like his inconsistency that made me angry. and also the fact that he said that he felt like i wasn't dedicated to doing my job well, where i got really upset and offended because i busted my ass to be there, and for someone to say that makes it seem like all the effort was for nothing. anyways.. it's done, and i'm never going back. (for real this time). maybe to another store, but not that one.. for sure.. just like there will always be a special hatred in kathy and my hearts for the UTC Gap. bastards.

anyways.. came home and tried to pack so i could leave on saturday. yeah.. didn't happen. instead.. i rushed out of Torrance on Saturday with my things unpacked and went to the banquet (where there was good food at least) and then rushed down to OB to the Anya Marina show with Jason Mraz as the guest. so here's a story that will make me sound completely lame, but i figure i'll say so anyways. i got really good parking that night, and when i was walking to the entrance, there was a little gated area behind Java Joe's. and i thought it was someone's backyard. and then i heard guitar music and a little bit of singing and i thought it was cute that someone who liked to sing lived behind Java Joe's and liked to play his music outside. and then i thought that "wow this person is really good" and then I realized it was Jason Mraz warming up and felt all giddy and squeamish and resisted all urges to start the fawning before he even went up on stage. yes.. i'm retarded.. i know.

anyways.. the show was really good. (both of them). annie and i hung out with jon, and then afterwards i pimped annie out using my footage of her at the hotel cafe during jason's say anything game. we're a good team. philly and i sported our "i *heart* soundguy" goods and entertained people. philly is so fun, i'm glad that i went to the show and got to talk to her. i'm glad she convinced me to go. haaha.. she was one of the bigger reasons why i was going, so i'm glad i had a good time with her. after it all annie and i chit chatted for a little bit, and then i got home at 2am to the sounds of my roommate and her friend. yeah.. it was interesting. anyways.. got up the next day, did the marshall fair for recruiting for circle k. we got some people to sign up which is exciting. drove home (while trying not to fall asleep). fell asleep once i got home, hung out with my sister a little bit, and then back home to do more of the same doldrums.

today has been craptacular so far with bad drivers, people wasting my time, no good news, and me stressing out because i have to pack and clean by noon tomorrow so i can be there in time for the board meeting. (and i also have to prepare for that). and i also realized that masquerade ball is only a little over a month away. what the heck.. where did my summer go?!

carrie is TOO cute. she just sent me virtual flowers, (yay.. carrie loves me!) which i haven't done in ages, but it totally made my day/night. whatevs. still busy, still tired, but at least i feel all warm and fuzzy inside. THANKS CARRIE! you rock my world.

i am butt ass tired. i got home from work 20 minutes ago, and have to be back there in six and a half hours. grrr... but i just wanted to say that i'm still alive. barely. i'm holding on by thread. so i'm gonna be like carrie and say that i'll blog later. hahah.. but here are some highs and lows of my past week

high: seeing hottie nick lachey
low: my car breaking down on the freeway and being stranded all of friday afternoon
high: hanging out with kimmy in laguna hills
low: missing pete's show :(
high: organizing stuff at my sd apt, seeing some of my sd friends, and not having to deal with parents
low: being sexiled from my apt (by choice.. but still an uncomfortable situation)
high: getting my bed moved in.. and eating dinner with my dad
low: the retarded girl at ranch 99, and finding out i live next to a mortuary
high: watching cable all day :)
low: getting in trouble for stupid stuff that i had no control over
high: going on a date with sakura
low: being too busy these past few days to eat!

anyways.. that's all very vague and i'm sure doesn't mean anything to anyone except for my-crazy-self but maybe someday i'll make sense to you. anyhoo.. it's time for this body to go to bed. grr.. i'm not really tired now.. but i'm going to have the worst time getting up tomorrow if i don't. and i have to pack and clean and get ready to move my desk and dresser.. and i'm working for the next two days!! yikes! bye bye bye! *muah*

mm.. today was an interesting day. good and bad. it was the first day that i had a break and a little bit of normalcy in my life. i didn't have to work at the gap today, which was nice. it kind of sucks as well because i'm not making the money. but it was way nice to sleep in and not have to rush back to go to work on time.. or stand on my feet in platforms all day!! but i was still so tired all day, and i took my car in to get looked at, and the men said there was nothing wrong. i swear there's something wrong, like it's getting there.. but they won't fix it.. so i just have to drive around until my car completely breaks down again. :P so they can make the most money possible out of me. dang them.

anyways.. here's the bad of my day at work today: i had to go to the post office and drop something off for work. so i stood in this ridiculously long slow moving line and then this crazy irate man came in and started complaining to a worker about how he had to wait in this line even though he was home all day but still got one of those "sorry we missed you" notices. she dismissed him and made him stand in line, which made him even madder, and stood behind me muttering things. i was quite scared. he said something really rude to me once and i just kind of ignored him, and then he started hacking and coughing (on purpose i tell you) and right in my hair. like i could FEEL it ... and then i tried to step away to not be in the direct line of his nasty germs, so he took a step closer to me and coughed again!! SO rude. some guy was all like "cover your mouth man." which i was grateful for (thank you!!) but the damage was already done.. i felt very gross and diseased. ew.

okay.. good part of my day that makes me love my work: i went downstairs to drop off a package at the guard. and the elevator doors open and i see this really hot guy talking on his cell phone. we exchange hi's and how are you's and then i realize that he's NICK LACHEY from 98 Degrees. I totally choked. I wanted to like stop and say something to him, maybe make him serenade me.. but he was on his phone.. probably with his fiancee or something (grr). I walked over to the guard and checked the sign in sheet, and for sure it was him. *sigh* i called Nicole and told her that i saw him, and at first she was like "who's that.. he sounds familiar" and then once she realized who it was she was like "OH MY GOD" hehe.. i locked myself in my car to be all giddy so the people who worked there wouldn't think i'm super retarded. *sigh.. nick lachey*

other than that.. not too much. watched big brother 3, i should probably go pack and clean soon. seeing as how i'm going to sd and have NOTHING packed. yeah.. good job jean. :P don't miss me too much this weekend. *muah*

god.. i feel like it should be next week already. with all the work i've been doing the past few days... i am SOOOO tired. again.. not complaining.. just.. uhh.. commenting i suppose. friday i worked, saturday i worked as well (that's also a problem with working in a job that doesn't give you weekends off. the days of the week just blur together, and it doesn't matter ... you just can't figure what day it is anymore.) sunday i drove down to sd with beth at 5am.. worked at the rough water swim. it was the first time i had gone, so i didn't know exactly what we were doing. but we had beach duty. and when i got dressed at 5am i was freezing so i put on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. thank goodness i put a tank top underneath. but so yeah.. needless to say when high tide rolled it.. i got very wet.. my jeans didn't appreciate it so much. and one time the water came up and took away my flip flops that i was wearing. so yes.. and as i cautiously tried to go out and save my shoes and not get too wet, another giant wave came.. and i was done. so i just walked out with the water up to my thighs and grabbed my shoes. i'm sure the people up on the cliff were having a good laugh, i know all of the circle k people did. i could hear them. anyways.. it was fun... those people who swim that are amazing. haha.. all of us girls got excited when the young men's competition was up and hundreds of hot guys in speedos piled up on to the beach. yum. haha. anyways.. on top of getting all wet with salty beach water all day, i also got sunburnt and nasty tan lines. sigh.. the things i do for circle k. later on went to my new apartment.. it's pretty cool.. a little empty .. but i also don't live there yet. i'm pretty excited.. i stole one of the giant posters from gap and i'm going to hang it up in the living room wall. the guys pretty cute.. too bad i can't steal that abercrombie shit. :) invited people over for dinner. hahah we walked to ralphs to buy groceries. yeah.. i live behind target and ralphs.. (ghetto) and down the street from el cotixan's and jack in the box. dangerous.

hmm.. monday worked at 5am, tuesday worked at 4:30am, interned at 1pm, met with Joan at 6pm, wednesday interned at 9am, worked at 2pm. my life is crazy. tomorrow i'm not scheduled.. and i'm kind of looking forward to it. although they're probably going to call me... i just might have to go.. i'm that broke. although i'm interning.. so we'll see. hmm hmm hmm.. not much. this weekend going to san diego to move stuff. going to catch my friend pete and his band she blonde swede play.. you wanna come? it'll be a good show.... maybe we'll also have margaritas at ryan's new pad in PB. haha.. non-alcoholic of course.. cuz i'm not 21. :P but i'm tired.. and have mucho things to do. so goodnight foolios!

la di da di da... i'm at my internship.. with not so much to do.. so i thought i'd blog because i'm "grounded" at home. yes.. i did say grounded. my mom told me i wasn't allowed to talk on the phone or go on the computer until i cleaned my room. yikes. beth was trying to tell me how in high school her parents always made her do chores before she could see Ryan... but then i reminded her that she was also in high school. :P i don't know.. i mean.. i know my room is messy, but i also have had no time to clean it, always being at work or interning. and when i do come home, i'm so pooped that i'm not all like "hey.. let's clean!" *sigh.. i don't know.. only a few more weeks. but beth did agree that this entire summer my mother hounded me about not having a paying job.. and now that i do, she's telling me that it's bad to have such a lame job, that takes up too much time and energy for not enough pay. lame-o.

thursday i got up early early to take international vice president carrie (haha.. isn't that what you told me to call you instead :P) i got up while the sky was still dark and fought traffic to be carrie's bitch. hahah.. but she paid for my breakfast, so i guess that makes her my sugar mama. anyways.. came back and napped and then went to the dentist. yuk.. they made my mouth sore all day. :P then my internship. and then i watch PETE SAMPRAS beat Andy Roddick in 3 sets. the game was amazing and after all that talk about how he should quit and stuff.. he played so so so well. i was so excited. the girl from work thought i was super lame. so anyways.. it rained.. yuk.. i went home, but on the upside.. i got to watch Big Brother 3! whoo hoo! i was so bummed because I always miss it because of work.. but yay! no work. it was really good. i'm so sad that Roddy got voted off. boo boo boo. hmm.. talked to nicole and helped her with her budget a bit, and then talked to beth.. all while cleaning my room and listening to good music. :) i got my Live cd (jason mraz)... yay.. i missed it cuz i lent my copy to beth.

one last thing.. it occurred to me yesterday that i hate guys when they use those like "affectionate" terms towards you.. hahha especially if you like them, and they know it, but they don't like you back. it should be outlawed or something. it's not fair because it's such a manipulative tool, and they soooooo know it... and it totally messes with your mind, when really it doesn't mean anything at all. grrr.. but have a good day anyways!

i don't even know what to write, but i feel as if i should blog... but i' feel like such a work horse... i've been working non-stop, and due to my excellent slacker skills, i still find time to go online. i'm horrible.. i should really be cleaning my room right now.. but anyhoo.. for the past two weeks i've been interning as well as working at the gap. and yes.. it is by my own choice (happy carrie?) but sort of not.. because i need to keep the internship for my experience and just to be responsible and all that crap. but i need the gap to get paid. thus.. i run back and forth like a oompa loompa. i guess it's kind of good that it's only for this month and i didn't have to do it for the whole summer. hmm.. do you have no idea what i'm talking about.. let's see what my life has been like lately...

Monday: Labor Day.. national holiday.. everyone was enjoying the sunshine and the hotness and i was working.. joy. came home tired as crap.

Tuesday: work in the morning (8-11), get my car.. which cost $1000 to get fixed.. yikes!, 12-5 interning (keeping in mind it takes me roughly 45 to get there), and then i got called into work a split shift so it was back to the gap from 6-10. on the good news i had a hot date with International Vice President Chen (hehehe) which was fun because with both of us being so busy but with different schedules it's a lot different from when i used to see her everyday (hah.. when we used to "work out"). but i had to stay late an extra half an hour to finish replenishing, so she had to wait in the Ralphs parking lot (sorry!!!) went home and crashed

Today: woke up, went to my intern from 9-2, work from 3-10, crazy... i didn't even have time to eat lunch in between. i am pooped!

it's not like i'm trying to complain really... just i dunno.. letting people know.. haha.. maybe i just want the attention. and although i am busy busy.. my mother still finds a way to nag me and tell me that i'm not doing enough. grrr. second child syndrome sucks. anyways.. back to the horse tomorrow, friday, saturday and sunday.. blah blah blah. but it's good.. i guess when i get my fatty paycheck it'll make it all worth it.. i hope. love ya! *muah!*

yikes.. it's september already.. school starts soon.. but not as soon as manny! hahahaah ... sucker starts on tuesday. hmm.. it's been a busy few days.. as it will continue through the end of the month. i don't know whether i should glad that i'm not just sitting around bored.. or perturbed that it seems like i hardly have any free time where i'm not completely pooped. i just started working at the gap again for a month, and on top of my internship, i'm barely at home (which can be good), but running around like a work horse for all the hours of the day. but i do get paid at the gap, which is good.. although with the money that i spend there i probably spend more than i make. but i've been good and resisting lots of little things.. and bought jeans (4 pairs for $100) but that's something that i really needed.

other than that.. my life hasn't been too interesting. talked to people online here and there. went to a tv taping for circle k.. it was fun. i made joe and beth go. beth and i drooled over sean maguire while joe drooled over carmen electra.. yes.. she guest starred on the show.. see.. you foolios should have come. but.. in sad news.. my car died on friday night while taking beth home. thank goodness i wasn't on the freeway though.. or else i would have caused an accident for sure. but it was midnight, and traumatizing and my car is pretty angry at me, and now i feel like i'm 12 years old because i have to get a ride from my dad everywhere i go. which is a pain in the ass for when i go to work (which is everyday). i'm hoping that if i get a rental car, maybe i can get a suv or something.. hahaha. last night i had interesting conversations with Philly, who I met from being a rabid fan of Jason Mraz. we had really good talks about circle k and key club, and jason and other good stuff.. but it prompted me to have a weird dream last night that had jason mraz in it.. but also the cast of 90210, plus all my circle k friends. crazyness. but i must go because i have to clean.. yuk.. i hate living at home with my way-too-asian parents. haha.. but i also have to work tomorrow... but at least i get paid time and a half!! whoo! let's just hope i don't spend it. :P

oh yeah.. and read beth's latest blog. it's soooo funny. and too cute. :) (it should be the one about jason mraz). it says at the top "this is to make jean happy" or something like that. plus carrie blogged for me... not all the scandalous details that i wanted.. i know you're hiding something! but nonetheless it was because of me.. hahaha.. man.. i feel so loved (and conceited) right now. hah. toodles!

okay.. as promised.. here's what happened for the past few weeks.. i hope you didn't miss me too much. ;)

- august 3rd and 4th -
i don't really remember much of what happened this weekend... (man.. i must be getting old).. or maybe nothing too important happened. i know on saturday i drove to brea for joey's birthday dinner. a bunch of his friends from cal po po getting him drunk at this silly restaurant, bobby mcgee's, where they embarass you worse than they do at friday's. but it was fun. sunday.. i just slept and packed.. i think that was it. i didn't sleep at all that night cuz our flight was at 7am, so we left at 5.. so i just packed and stayed up cuz i didn't think i'd be able to wake up.

- august 5th - 9th -
wow... if i blog in clusters of days.. maybe it won't take as long as i thought. hmm.. nevermind.. that's not going to work.

- august 5th -
my dad drove sakura and i to the airport, tired as all hell we checked in and waited in the long ass security line. it went all the way to the other terminal.. jeebus. but i guess it's necessary.. although lines like that don't really prevent what happened a few months ago. but i don't see much of a difference besides the fact that they make a few people take off their shoes. i don't know why the lines are SO much longer.. i guess they just take a longer look at your bags and such, and well check your id's.. i guess that's pretty time consuming. anyways.. we ate mcdonald's (yum.. their hashbrowns are the best) and then got to the gate right as they began boarding. yay us. got on the plane, and tried to sleep as much as possible. in between us eating chocolate, laughing and pushing each other around, we just slept.. or tried to. got to orlando in the afternoon... greeted by it's hot and sticky humid weather.. blah... got picked up by some lssp people - pic, kathleen, ricky.. yada yada yada. sakura and I walked around kissimmee (what a cute name for a city!!), ate lunch at the Sizzler.. yum.. and chilled in the hotel room, laughed, screamed. Watched Fear Factor and I made Sakura do our own version of Fear Factor jumping from bed to bed to prove that she was a triple jumper in high school. hahaha.. we were rolling around on the floor.. the people next to us must have thought we were crazy. tee hee. had the LSSP orientation that night.. haha.. our teams were organized by rooms.. and our team had 7/8's cal nev ha people.. so much for meeting new members. :P It was fun though, our room was the UCSD girls and we were next to Carrie and the CSULB girls and Lauren and we opened the connecting door.. it was a big ol slumber party.

- august 6th, 7th, 8th -
the kids came, we tried to make them go through drills... but they just wanted to play. and they were better than most of us.. hahaha but it was fun. we braved the heat with lots of water and sunblock and breaks. i got to cook spaghetti on tuesday night.. yum. On wednesday, the kids came again... but I was feeling kind of sick, so I abandoned the team.. (sorry!) and went to go rest.. but later got dragged out to buy food and cook, since i'm such a whiz in the kitchen. hahahah. bought and cooked hot dogs for 140 people.. man the people at walmart thought we were insane.. cleaned up, and then went right back to walmart to shop for dinner. cooked jambalaya (i'm being cultured.. whoo hoo) and cleaned up after that as well. That night in our room as we (or maybe just me and Sakura) worked diligently on the team headbands (go FIRE!) I also played Big Brother 3 nazi. damn Ryan who likes to talk while I'm watching my tv.. hung out in the cnh boy's room doing some quality old school cal nev ha bonding time... we're nuts. THURSDAY!! was tournament day!! yay! our super studly team (me, sakura, kieu, tanya, ryan skophammer, chris anderson, jackie (from nj) and dan schroeder (from az)) - and our awesome kids (cc, kinisha, johnelle and kevin (who flirted with sakura)).. we rocked.. haha.. i sprained my ankle in the first game and hobbled around being a gimpy cheerleader. the fourth and last game.. we played a team we didn't like too much and vowed to beat.. so I played hurt ankle and all (joey.. you should be proud). until i got tripped and knocked over by a big defender... and hailes caught that moment on his digital camera.. haha stupid hailes and his camera.. grr.. anyways.. we still won.. so we rock. :) said goodbye to the kids.. people cried.. and then we chilled. a big group of us ordered pizza and had a pool party at the hotel. megan was kind enough to order and pick up all the stuff (whoo hoo) and we had tons of leftovers. once again ... played big brother nazi that night :) and then got forced to go clubbing at Pleasure Island. yes.. forced.. by carrie. :P but it was all good.. so pic, maggie, megan, carrie, sakura and i headed off to orlando's downtown disney and off to Pleasure Island. it's 8 clubs for $20 although we only went to one... met up with nicole, manny, armando and alice and danced the night away. it's like tj, but no hoochie girls taking off their clothes. (good)... after visiting some and getting lost some.. we finally got home and slept.

- august 9th -
DISNEYWORLD!!!! YAAAAAAY!! sakura and i dragged our lazy out-late-clubbin butts outta bed and hopped on the ghetto shuttle to disneyworld. went to the magic kingdow (which is like disneyland).. LOVED IT...we ran all around the park hitting the big stuff like we were five years old. if my ankle wasn't sprained i bet we would have skipped. we contemplated getting one of those electric wheelchairs for me.. hahah.. maybe we wouldn't have to wait in any lines.. but i decided not too cuz i didn't want to look like a dork. after the fun and shopping and eating, we went to Epcot. we were really tired so we just shopped and looked around a little bit.. and took lots of photos of course. then met megan, kieu, ryan, hailes, lauren and tanya at this moroccan restaurant where hailes belly danced!! hahahahaha watched the illuminations show, and then sakura and i rushed off hoping the shuttle didn't leave us.. we got there right when it was gettting ready to go. yay. went back and packed to get ready for our full day ahead of us the next day...

- august 10th -
MORE DISNEYWORLD!! whoo hoo. we finished off Epcot and did MGM in record time. took a massive amount of pictures. sakura and i got obsessed with those imprinted pennies (where they smush the penny and make a design) i'm mad.. in the whole tour of the nations.. they had a penny for each country.. but NO China didn't have a penny.. and Japan's was in Morocco.. WHAT THE HECK.. man.. good thing my sister wasn't there.. she would have made all asians ban disneyworld for life. anyways.. ran around all the parks like maniacs trying to collect pennies.. went back to our new hotel (the convention hotel) and checked in... figured out we were in tower frikkin seven.. the furthest one out.. in the boonies. it was such a far far far walk. thank god nicole from wum gave us a ride as we collapsed on her doorstep. although.. the first person i saw at ICON was the one and only Pete Holiday.. *i'm so lucky* so yeah.. went to our fantabulous 8 person suite... showered, rested, trekked back to the convention center for opening session. later did candidate stuff, blah blah blah.

- august 11th -
workshops, caucusing - walked with manny.. which is an interesting side to be on.. rather than inside the caucus rooms.. there's a lot that goes on outside that you wouldn't think about. nothing really important, just different, governor's gala, district awards - congrats carrie! - and then the desert reception and then the dance and then hugs and kisses party in the ohio suite. fun fun fun... i sat around and talked to mary and justin during the night and met some cute boys from t-o and carolinas (yes.. those carolinas boys again.. hahah)

- august 12th -
house of delegates, sightseeing time (where i just stayed in a slept.. yah.. party pooper i know), then caucusing.. it was a busy night. there were a bunch of parties that night.. walked around a few, just kind of stayed in. oh i remember what i did.. i cleaned the suite and set up for ryan's "surprise" party (you're welcome ryan).. hung out a little bit, and then just kind of chilled. slept with nicole and joe that night (ooh la la) cuz sean came and slept with the ucsd girls, and i didn't want to sleep on the sofabed or with ryan (and be the homewrecker again this year) :P it's funny our suite was more of the district hang out suite... which is ironic because it was so far.. it would have made more sense to congregate in tower 5.. but us foolios are lazy and made everyone walk their asses out here. hahah.

- august 13th -
the last "real" day of icon. hmm.. in the morning we had more awards.. ucsd won 1st place in all of inter-frikkin-national for scrapbook.. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! sakura was weeping a little.. it was so cute. we were so excited and almost ran cindy over when we went up on stage. i'm sure i was smiling like an idiot. and third place in newsletter .. haha.. we got all excited and jumped up and down.. and then sat back down. i didn't realize that i was supposed to go up and get the award.. haha.. so i ran up there all retardedly. had another house of delegates.. congrats carrie! now she's the new international vp.. hahah.. i tried to make the same fuss as i did with pete.. but carrie will hit me.. hahahaha i can see it in her eyes. that afternoon there was a wicked thunderstorm that was fun to watch. sakura and i got in the jacuzzi in our suite (awesome!) and i screamed because this guy i knew josh was on elimidate. haahahah i knew he was on it, but i never thought i was going to see it, and i did.. and it was the best. hahaah. did the whole farewell session thing.. cnh got distinguished district for last year WHOO HOO!! man.. we did good. last years district board ran up while the district chanted (even when the other district was getting their award) we're such annoying brats... hahahhha. it was exciting though to be part of it all. watched carrie get installed and they announced the winners for trustees and then it was time for the last dance. hahahah.. there was food .. meatballs and nachos and good healthy stuff like that.. so naturally sakura, hailes and i sat outside and ate while everyone else was dancing. watched carrie whore it up on the dance floor, as well as other people.. I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING! dissapointed when i saw the cute boy that i had my eye on dance with some other hoochie... hahaha. that night did laundry, packed, gave Pete his "Holiday" candles from the Gap (i'm the best present giver), swam a little, people came over... blah blah blah. i don't know if it was because of my ankle, because we were in tower 7, the humidity.. but i wasn't all over the place like usual.. which is good and bad. but i didn't talk to as many people as i wanted ... just hung out with the roomies.. which isn't bad. but i thought i would talk to mary or pete or nick more.. i mean.. these people were all busy (especially pete and the ladies.. hahaha) .. but still but whatevs.. it was enjoyable.. and i just lived vicariously through tanya anyways. :)

- august 14th -
sad.. time to go home, packed up our stuff, did some last minute souvenir shopping, got a taxi and ryan, kieu, sakura, tanya, hailes and i loaded up for the airport. everyone except kieu was on the same flight.. hahah.. so the 5 of us got those seats facing each other.. slept on top of each other, braved the annoying drunk people next to us, and held each others hands as we were startled by the sudden dip the plane took in turbulence. ryan left us in phoenix, and us lax'ers headed up to the front, slept some more and gushed about icon some more (and how we won first place in scrapbook.. guess who i sat next to.. :P) got to the airport, my dad, tanya's parents, hailes' family and jimmy were all there. i got my luggage went home and slept. whoo..

there it is.. finally. it seemed really quick, but it was fun.. i was ready to go home by the end of it. and my ankle is still sore some, my bags are still only half unpacked and our 8 rolls of film have been developed.. i had a good time at icon.. :)

hmm.. the rest of my life? hahah.. went back to my internship. i'm SO mad... my future husband Eli Swanson came in while i was at ICON.. (that's it!! i'm quitting circle k!!) he came in TWICE.. and i wasn't there.. damn it! according to Tosha, he looked goooood, and just my luck, he's not coming in anymore because he's quitting acting and going to medical school... damn damn damn!!! ugh... i think i'm going to go to columbia med next year. :P there goes my one chance at true happiness. hahaha.. i still can get his cell phone number and address! jk. (well not really.. but i don't have the guts to do that.. plus i don't want to go to jail for actually being a stalker).. i'll just stay slightly obsessed. hmm.. went to benji's family's karaoke party. it was interesting.. and very benji. hahah.. if you know benji, you know what i mean. saw jason mraz last thursday.. he was AMAZING as always. there was this kick ass 17 year old saxophone guy who played with Jason and Toca and Ian.. it was great. annie came and went up during the say anything game and rocked everyone's world. and beth came and now is just as in love with jason mraz. she was all "can he play at my wedding?" ahahhahaha we went to mel's diner afterwards, and i figured out that one time i drove in fatty traffic for 2 hours to see howie day after work at the virgin megastore on sunset.. i drove in a circle going the wrong way! went down the 101s to the 110s and then back up the 405n to get there... kind of like a triangle.. i went down and up the two diagonal sides instead of straight across. yes yes yes.. i'm a horrible person with directions.. i know. :P anyways.. not much since then.. chillin.. i started working at the gap today.. but most of my friends quit so it's not as fun. boo. but at least i'm getting paid. interning, working, not much else.. ooh.. tomorrow there's a big brother on! whoo hoo. and i'm tired now.. babbled too much.. but i applaud you for reading all the way to the end if you have. you are a marathon blogger reader ... hi-five!

okay.. so i've put off doing my marathon blog about ICON... but i think i'm goign to start now.. i probably won't finish it tonight seeing as how i have work early in the morning.. but at least if i start it'll be closer to being done... (if only i was this systematic with my comm papers). so.. watch out for it.. it'll be a good one... maybe.. well.. at least I'll enjoy reading it. hahaha.

on another note.. i wonder what happened to all my friendies? i think they all went out on a secret date.. cuz they just all vanished. nicole and carrie have been missing all day. they're away messages said that they were "out" and now they're not even online! oh no! and then at 9:30 beth said she was going to go take a shower and come back... three hours later she's not around.. i hope that scary final destination thing didn't happen to her. she hasn't even been looking for ryan! *gasp*.. something must be wrong! :P i hope no one kidnapped them.. or that the Torrance rapist got to them... maybe i should put up fliers around my neighborhood....

oh.. one more thing.. i'm going to see jason mraz on thursday! yay!

i'm back from Orlando... safe and sound, although i did sprain my ankle, and there was some turbulence where we all thought we were going to die. but i just thought i'd update my blog for everyone who loves me and checks it. sorry it's said the same thing for awhile, but thanks for coming back! i'll have to sit down and do a marathon blog.. i just haven't been up to it yet. i've been SO tired.. i wake up late, eat, nap, eat, sleep early.. and do the same thing all over again. what's wrong with me?! anyhoo.. just wanted to put something new up... LSSP & ICON recap soon.. i promise. *oh.. and i'm still homeless (in SD) if you're wondering. :(

first things first... HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY JOEY!! he's the guy in the third picture down. what a cutie. anyways.. it's his bday today, so yay for him :)

hmm.. not much, i'm still kind of homeless for next year, but some things are starting to look up. i mass emailed a ton of people on my school's off campus housing listings and got a few responses. i talked to this one girl who lives in La Regencia .. which is the same complex that Sakura lives in.. hahahah, i could play with her everyday.. i don't know who's luckier, her or me :P but the rent's not too bad, and it's close to school, so that's kind of exciting. but my selfish side wants to live with this girl in Pacific Beach that's like 7 blocks from the ocean and has a view of the ocean from her balcony, or so she says. this is all based on what these people say... but hey.. it beats a cardboard box eh? or someone's living room. but thanks for offering. the girl from La Regencia seems way nice, and she was in Key Club in high school.. hahaha.. i hope she doesn't pick one of those other losers who are looking at her place tomorrow.

wednesday i interned, i had to research this list of black comic book superheroes, and honestly.. it was SO obscure, sometimes i couldn't even find facts on these characters.. wow.. they should make a comm class about that. another "how the white man is bad" class.. cuz we don't have enough of those at ucsd. thursday it was super slow, i ran errands, did breakdowns, answered phones... nothing too much out of the ordinary.. some famous people came in, but not any of the super cool ones. i'm still waiting for my future husband Eli to walk through the door. he's SO going to come in while i'm at ICON.. i'll be so upset. *knock on wood* i also interviewed at denny's, but i don't think they're going to hire me based on the fact that i could only work there for 4 weeks, and those lame gap people finally got their shit together, but told me to talk to them after i come back from ICON.. which is fine, but they should have just hired me like a month ago. lame-o's

today was a lazy day as well, but i did go to softball practice for my work. yay! softball!! (*yes sergi, i got the nerve to ask.. thanks) it's kind of fun and exciting.. i kind of felt lame because i'm just the intern, so i didn't want to like butt in, but they were cool. and after showing off my mad skills (haha.. riiiiight) they didn't mind so much. it was funny though because today beth and i remembered that we were on the same torrance rec softball team in middle school.. hahaa.. she remembered me because i was the only other asian girl... what a nerd. but i definitely miss that.. yay fast pitch softball. too bad tomorrow's slow pitch, but i doubt that i could still pitch like i used to. but i am excited to play.

overall it's been a weird few days.. i've been really tired, sometimes cranky. i like flipped out yesterday.. it was so weird. i had like an emotional over surge.. maybe i should lay off the crack. jk. but yeah.. i got in this weird funk and decided i didn't want to do anything but lay around, and that i didn't want to go to ICON anymore, and i dunno. it was just weird. thanks mucho to Ryan and Beth who always try to make me feel better when i'm being lame. but i should go.. because i gotta get up early so i can be ready to win at softball tomorrow. ooh.. maybe babyface will come to the game to watch his company play. hahha.. yeah right. i hope we win, cross your fingers for me. if you wanna come watch me get hit by softballs... we're playing at la cienaga park at noon! come come come!!

once again.. happy birthday joseph william bensie :)

there are so many things to say, and i don't know where to start, or how to say them all. it's like when you're really hungry and you get a whole bunch of food, and then once you start eating you're not hungry anymore. well.... kinda.

anyways... let's see.... Friday I finally got my butt out of bed and drove down to SD. First stopping off in Poway to meet up with Angelee.. we were supposed to go shopping, but in combination with my late departure and the massive retardation of traffic (what the heck are people doing on the road at noon on friday.. don't they have work or something?) we didn't get to go. it was quite funny though because right after i got on the 15 traffic was backed up, and i found out because avocados were spilled alllll over the freeway.. there was green and brown mush everywhere (guacamole anyone?) and cops with push brooms trying to clean it up. man.. what a waste of avocados.. i should have got out and saved some... haha.. that's what my mom would have done. jk. anyways.. chilled out at ben's IMMACULATE house. man.. i wish i could live there.. I would commute to ucsd from poway just to live in his hilltop house, it'd be so worth it. haha.. and watched pokemon and jeopardy on his kickass split screen tv. i'm going to live like that someday. anyways, drove over to kristen and jill's... chilled out. checked out the jason and jane show.. it was pretty cool. one of the girls there knew one of my sister's friends.. it was the whole six degrees thing, small world. saturday, after getting three hours of sleep, went to the kiwanis pancake breakfast. i was SO tired.. and i had to keep walking around to keep myself awake, because if i ever stopped and sat down, i'd fall asleep. i wore my princeton sweatshirt and everyone oohed and aahhed until i told them that i really went to UCSD. it's so weird how people treat you differently based on what they think you're like. like whether you're dressed up, dressed down, wearing an ivy league sweatshirt. anyways.. i did get hit on by some dirty old man yet again this year *shudder* but it made my day when three really hot boys showed up. me and tanya giggled the whole time there were there in between the drooling.. jk later house hunted a little bit, but i was SO tired that i just konked out. dinner with Sakura and Carol, they cooked.. yum! and then the Austin Powers movie. it was good, but not like great... maybe the effect has worn out, or i just expect too much. it was still funny, and i laughed a lot, but it's not like OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO GO SEE... but if you're looking for a good time, call nicole.. oops I mean.. go see the movie. jk on sunday, house hunted with jill. she is my savior, she was like house hunting nazi and made me drive around and call and look at places. she's a pro, because i'm retarded and didn't know how to do anything.. so thanks jill, you rock. but still i didn't find a place because i suck.. so i'm still homeless. g-a-i-y-e. had pizza at home with kristen and spent the evening with the tv and the jason mraz video. kristen was in love. hahahaha. monday, did a little bit of the house hunting, applied for place, thought about a few more places. i don't know exactly what i'm going to do because money and distance are two big factors and too bad the closer i live the more expensive it is. i asked my dad and he told me just to wait until i come back from ICON but i feel like that would be too late. but at the same time.. i have no idea what i'm going to do. yay cardboard box here i come. got to hang out with Taylor and his dog Sarge.. it was lots of fun, we just talked, had lovely conversation.. haha.. gave him his late late late birthday present wrapped in *nsync christmas wrapping paper... that was his favorite part :) ate at joe's crab shack with kristen, it was YUMMY, and then raced home for road rules and sorority life. drove back to torrance at 11pm, and got all freaked out because they shut down the freeway and made everyone take a detour and i swore i was going to get lost, but i didn't, so i was glad. got home and fell asleep, woke up this morning with the lights on, in yesterday's clothes and bad bad breathe (mm. pretty mental images)

today was fun, i went to work... and SHOOK HANDS WITH DARRIN HENSON.. the MAN who choreographed some of *NSYNC's dances. man.. i'm that much closer to JC. he seemed like a super nice guy, asked me my name, introduced himself to a nobody like me. hehehe... maybe he just came from JC's house and shook his hand too.. i could have JC on my hand! heheheheh.. (yes i know.. i'm retarded). anyways.. that was my excitement for today.. drove in fatty traffic to the Virgin Megastore in LA to meet Howie Day. it was alright.. it seemed real nice as well. got my cd autographed.. blah blah blah. ate in n out for dinner while driving home and proceeded to spill crap all over myself, but got home, watched a tape of big brother 3 (from saturday) right after THE BEST CAR CHASE I'VE EVER SEEN.. this guy like got swipe by this van as he sped through the red-light intersection, spun around, almost ran over a pedestrian, kept going, got on the freeway going the wrong way, made some crazy spins and turns, finally started going the right way only to make another crazy turn to go back the wrong way when the cops started chasing him again, his car gave out and he tried to run and jump over fences.. in the end.. he was caught, like they always do. it's just fun to watch I guess.. (you can tell i'm from LA) with my dad yelling "shoot him! shoot him!" and me yelling "run! run! goooooo!" and my mom going "aiya"... it's definitely Q.T. with the family. hahahaha. this one was way exciting though.

i do leave for ICON in less than a week though. that's way crazy.. summer is almost already over. yikes.

it's been a long week. i now intern tues, wed, thurs, and seriously.. working three days in a row, driving 1 hour both ways.. i am SO not used to. i mean.. i've worked 40+ hour work weeks before, but nothing like a real job, working at the gap, computer camp.. shit like that. i dunno.. something about this is just so different, and i'm only doing menial things.. maybe that's the problem. but anyways.. it's alright. wednesday i alphabetized scripts into the script library ... yay. (not).. and then today.. was SO great. it was really busy, which made me happy because i felt like i was serving a purpose. so yeah.. i was doing breakdowns, got to answer the phones again (i was a little less retarded) and then it got really hectic, and these people came in for a meeting, and then DONALD FAISON walks through the door. i was so excited cuz Clueless is like my ALL-TIME fav movie... and he's just such a cutey. and then.. i was told to wrap this gift for a client.. and little did i know it was for Donald. I WRAPPED DONALD FAISON'S BIRTHDAY GIFT. Let the world know... he ripped my fantastic job to shreds in like 5 nanoseconds.. and my heart cried a little for my poor wrapping paper. hehe.. but as he left with his present and his Challenge for the Children basketball, he said "see ya later" to me. YAY!!!! hahaa.. i'm such a huge nerd. so yeah.. Donald Faison was going to go off to play basketball with *NSYNC... which is why we got that call from that chick. Man.. what I wouldn't give to like be his personal assistant for the weekend. Then I could glue myself to JC's pants. :)

Anyways.. that's all, went to Costco, got my pix back, half good, half bad. Talked to Kristen, had waffles for dinner, umm.. nothing much. Going to go watch Big Brother 3.. its' the best :) Going to San Diego tomorrow for the weekend. Hopefully I'll find a frikkin place to live.. AHHH!! *sigh*.. but I'm happy for the most part. Going shopping with Angelee tomorrow.. NORDSTROM'S ANNIVERSARY SALE. although i'm so broke... i need a job, maybe a new corner... the old one's not working.

i stabbed myself with a screwdriver today while i was fixing my dad's chair. there's a huge hole in my finger :( but the chair's fixed. (no nicole, this is not a cry for help)

happy 21st birthday to jill-a! i wish i could be there to celebrate. they went out to get plastered at friday's... and i'm missing out. damn this being home crap. but hopefully we'll go out for a good time this weekend.

my finger hurts.

"pooooooooooooooor unfortunate souls. so sad, so true"

i am SO bored. i'm at work right now, and everyone's out at lunch, so the intern gets to answer the phones. whoo hoo. the highlight of my day though this lady named Beth called, and she said she was from somewhere, and I thought some company. So I asked again where she was from, and she said "*NSync.." all slow (like I was retarded) "like the group" and then much like the Eli Swanson episode I got all choked up and was unable to speak. I should have made her wait and tell me all the details. I don't know. Anyways... *sigh.. I wish I could intern for them... haha.. knowing them though, I'd probably never even meet them even if I did intern for them. Celebrity bastards.

Anyways.. it's been a chill couple of days. Dinner with the fam on Friday, chillin at home on Saturday. I went to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding and dinner at the Kettle with Benji that night. hehehe.. we were arguing over who was going to drive to who, and I won!! hahaha.. eat my dust Benji. The movie was good, it made me a little sad like all love stories do, but I guess the moral is that "anyone can find love, yes even you" so it either makes me happy because it gives me hope, or makes me sad because I'm such a loser that I can't find love when everyone else, even the seemingly hopeless can. (yes.. i know.. i'm lame). Anyways.. that was fun. Sunday my dad went to work, so my mom and I hung out, ran errands, did some shopping. We got to Costco too late and they were packing up all the sample carts. sad.. that's the worst... like.. so close, but so far away. Monday I hung out with my dad because he didn't have work. I was supposed to come in to intern, but I was going to switch days anyways, so I figure hey.. why not. Plus, if I hadn't then I wouldn't have gotten the call from Beth from *Nsync. hahahahahha. Anyways. so I'm sittin here, chillin.

I didn't realize that ICON and LSSP were so soon. I thought I had a few weeks still.. like a month almost, and I was talking to Megan, and she leaves this Wednesday.. and realized that I leave in less than two weeks!! Crazy.. I haven't thought about what I'm wearing, or gone shopping for ICON clothes. But it's kind of exciting to think it's so close. But soon it will be over.. and then I will be sad. And then summer will end I still have no place to live and haven't made any money.. wow.. time flies. Okay.. enough blogging.. I'm even getting bored of this. I want to go home.

"and then there was one"

yay.. i have pretty pretty pictures. muchas gracias to joey who helped me out with my picture problems, and a big no thanks to manny who is completely useless. :P

anyways.. today was whatevers.. dragged my sorry butt out of bed to go to my internship. it was a lazy day at the office, sent out casting letters. same thing i do everyday. went out to dinner with my parents. it was funny because she called me on my cell while i was at work, and she was all mad and asked "where are you" and i told her i was at work. but she wanted to if i wanted to go out to dinner, which is funny because i was actually going to call her to see if she wanted to come out to dinner. funny. anyways.. her and my dad and i went to this vegetarian all you can eat place in torrance. it was pretty good, i was fully stuffed. came home, lounged around, and played with my blogger. and now it's purrtty... by the way.. if you can't tell the fourth picture is of my sister WHEN SHE MET JC!!!!! *sigh

"thanks again freakies.. you make me smile."

yay.. i'm a little happier today. my shoutbox is back. my page doesn't look quite so lonely, but the shoutbox does... so go shout :) i'd love you forever for it. also, i found out today that we got the villa for convention. haha.. i told nicole that if we had got it, i'd never leave my room. hahaha.. goodbye convention. but that makes me happy, i was screaming and jumping up and down and my dad thought i was crazy. and then he asked me when i was leaving, and then do you know what he said? "oh good, that means i'll have some quiet now" ew.. today i just chilled, worked out, and hung out with my daddy.. he's so cute. i took the cutest izone of us at the mall, i'll have to find someway to put it up here. house hunted (gay) and did other sorts of errands. it was quite a non-eventful day. oh yeah.. one last thing.. i did something really lame and funny today, like sending out a weird email, and i feel like a fool now, but i did it.. and now i'm laughing at myself. oh jeebus. we'll just see what happens.

but i would like to say thanks to sakura and kimmy and manny and amanda for talking to me, making me laugh, giving me good advice, understanding.. you know what you did. *muah*

sakura: *muah*
jean: mwaw
sakura: no.. it's not mwaw, it's *mmmmmuah!*

so when i originally started this blog, and i thought of the title, it was something that i made up, that just seemed to fit. i guess my blogger could fit in where tv is, although sometimes it is not so cooperative. but when i made up the title.. it was based on the fact that when i was little, and my parents were working, my sister off doing her own things..the tv was the only one that would always be there for me. it kept me company when i needed it, made me laugh, it was always there for me, no matter what. although this seems lame and selfish and dorky, i do find comfort in stability and knowing that something will always be there for me.

in other episodes of today, this was not the case. i complained the other day about what a crappy situation i was in, well it got worse. and i complain not so that you will feel pity for me, but so that i can vent freely without feeling bad that i forcing anyone to listen to me whine. i guess this week is just not a good week for trusting people. i laid myself out on the line and i got screwed over, twice. i trusted people, and got let down by people who PROMISED they wouldn't, and people that i wouldn't let down because i believed they wouldn't do it to me, but i was wrong. and it's hard to swallow, and hard not to be bitter, because right now i am a bitter bitter angry girl.. and so i'm sorry if i'm bringing anyone down, there's only so much shit one person can take. and people pretend they care so that they can make themselves feel better, or they justify it as survival of the fittest, but there comes a point when you should consider others in your action. and when you choose to fuck someone else over irreparably, because it's what's best for you, don't expect any sympathy, compassion or understanding in return. i honestly have cried so much this past week, that people who are my friends wouldn't have put me through that, wouldn't have made me hurt so much. so right now.. i guess i don't really know anymore. it's hard to trust people, when people that you trusted so much don't come through, so what's to say for the rest of the people you trust.

"promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it"