Well... that's nice

So, I'm not necessarily the biggest fan of app on Facebook. I'm not against them, I just don't see the point, or don't have the time. I'm slightly intrigued about the latest one that's taking over, Farmville, but not really enough to actually check it out. This "friend quiz" one.. I look at, because it's always like "this person answered a question about you, find out who it is!" so I got sucked in. But it used to just tell me who was answering questions, but wouldn't tell me what questions they were answering. And once I signed up, it tells me the questions and answers, but no who. SCAM. (I also feel like all Facebook apps are a scam of sort sort.. like.. what's this whole sending birthday gifts to people but you need 10 credits?!) Anyhoo... this is the latest results of my friend quiz. Despite that the same question appears twice - all these results are positive right? I could say that people are just being polite, or that I just really am that awesome. But it is slightly useless because I have no idea who thinks I'm cute, who thinks I'm fun to be around or WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME? (come find me... now.) Obviously, the answer is everyone - but seriously - this does me NO good. I could find out who is answering these questions for FIFTY COINS PER QUESTION. I only have 5. I think you get coins by answering questions, but it's like 7 coins per 25 questions you answer - or something ridiculous like that and honestly... who has the time or patience for that? Not me. Plus I'm not quite that desperate (yet). And I think you know.. it could be like "yes, Jean would make a great spouse" not for me. Haha.. aww. (I've apparently been watching too much good wife/bad wife on More to Love.) But seriously, these are just questions on the internet. I sometimes feel like I want someone who makes an actual effort, and with Dorina's "half-men" theory, I'm just gonna be a spinster - so I might have to work on my plan... but for now, I'm not going to spend a ton of time answering silly questions about other people just to find that the people answering these questions are like my sister, my roommates and my girl friends - cuz that's how it would turn out I bet. Or I could just pretend like my secret crushes are the people who answered those. Either way it's a nice small way to warm up my ego today.

I get to tag along on Andrea's food truck mission to try all of the LA food trucks, so expect a full write up with better pictures from her. I took a few pictures with Snowball II, so I decided to post them too. On Wednesday night we got two in one hit as the Nom Nom Truck and Fishlips Sushi trucks were both at the new basecamp for trucks - The Brig in Venice. I've always loved food off trucks, and even more bacon wrapped hot dogs off carts (or sausages with sticky rice bun in Taiwan!). After the huge sensation of Kogi - the food truck business is SKYROCKETING. I read today that the restaurant Border Grill has a truck now too? And you can have a truck for everything - it's not just for mexican food anymore. Nom Nom is Vietnamese tacos and sandwiches, and Fishlips Sushi is.. well you guessed it, Sushi. Sushi off a truck? Seems kind of terrifying right? When I first heard about it, I kind of thought so too. I asked my sister if she wanted to try it, but she was turned off by the name alone (but she has a slight(MAJOR) phobia of fish). Some pictures looked okay, and I think I read that it was good - but didn't get to really try it until today. It's actually pretty good. Nothing super fancy like Asakuma or as involved as California Roll Factory, but the sushi was definitely up there, better than grocery store sushi, and not badly priced. And the Temari balls are so cute! We had their spicy tuna rolls and shrimp tempura rolls with assorted balls of sushi with ebi, yellowtail, salmon, unagi and tuna. Their menu features a ton more options, I didn't actually go up to the truck itself, so I'm not sure exactly how it works, if all the options are there each night. I might have to go back to try them all!

Nom Nom Truck was really good, and smelled SO fantastic. The food is good, but they take kind of forever to get you the food, and they ran out of Spring Rolls and Coffee VERY early on. They forgot a set of our tacos, but were really nice when we went back to get them. We did go on their opening night and they already blogged about trying to work out all the kinks. Food service is tough! Even tougher when it's mobile! But I'd definitely go back! I had the Grilled Pork Bahn Mi (Sandwich) and Lemongrass Chicken Tacos - both excellent. I am kind of sad that apparently Sam Trammell (plays Sam Merlotte) from True Blood (our most recent show obsession) was there and I didn't see him. I'm really bad at seeing celebrities, and you would think it would be so easy for me!

You should definitely try both of these if they're in your area. I wish I worked so that I could be excited when they were nearby and I have a real excuse to eat out. I just have to do it anyways. Next I want to try the Indian Food truck! And the Mos Burger likeness Marked 5!

Reboot.

jamiguel: i didnt know you had a blog
me: haha, yea.. i kind of don't keep up with it anymore. but sometimes i whine.. which is terrible
jamiguel: hhahahaha
me: it's become an emo blog as of late
jamiguel: kinda oposite of what i would do, but to each their own

after some consideration and hanging out with andrea and her blog friends, i think i'm going to make a little change. it'll probably be healthy for me. i'm gonna TRY to be a little less whiney, be a little less feeling-y and blog more about stuff. stuff that happens, stuff that i do, stuff that i want (without the emo-ness coming in). it's a sort of what i used to do, without all the this is what i had for lunch today, but more in the general way more interesting sense. kind of. i dunno. blogs in general are kind of personal, and kind of do what you want with them. but i'd kind of like to get it back to a blog that you really want to read kind of blog (was it ever one?!) i also debated switching sites and closing this one and re-opening another, but i kind of like that there is so much history here. i've had this thing since freaking 2001! my blog turned EIGHT YEARS OLD last month. oh my gosh it's like a small child. it's got a big part of me, and yes some of the links or pictures may not work anymore, but it really was me and how i was feeling or doing (or eating) at that particular moment. who and what was important to me then and i didn't just want to sever it behind and leave it forgotten and unknown. this decision may come to haunt me in the future, but hey.. that was me right? crazy and all.

so anyways.. that's that. i have a few blog ideas in the works.. i just have to convert them from "that would make a good blog entry" to "that was a good blog entry"

for now... i'll leave you with this.

i volunteered for this film festival in LA for the last week and a half. it was okay, i learned things from it, met a few people and hopefully somethings can pan out from it. i got to semi-produce/edit daily pieces of festival coverage. as much as i tried, i couldn't quite control what or how things were being taped, but i think i did an okay job on a few pieces, which hopefully shows my strength as an editor. i find myself wondering if my previous yearning of editing full time is still 100%, but the situation wasn't ideal, so it may not have been the best test for it. regardless, here are some of my favorite ones that i worked on.


this one is my was my favorite because i felt like it was the most well put together.. but then someone tinkered with it after i finished and i don't love what they did, but i think it's okay overall, i'm just not 110% about it. :/ like the guys say at the jungle cruise, if you like it, that's what i did, if you don't, it's the other guy's fault!


i worry about this one being cohesive, but i like this one because i translated the entire interview and then edited and added subtitles for all the pieces that are in spanish. yup, i'm a bad ass.


this is one of the earlier ones we did, so most noticeably the titles aren't as fancy. i didn't have the best b-roll either which contributes to some lacking of cutting to the right shots, but i didn't want the interviews to drag on either. but i like what they are saying and mostly i like it because of jordi laforge & luke wilson :P

there you go! the earlier one we turned around that night mostly.. so edited in a few hours. the later ones we took a little more time on because we would get the footage so late at night it was impossible to turn it around that night, plus we realized we didn't have to, so we allowed ourselves to wrap it up the next day.

(shameless plug: we edited these on a mobile editing bay CONFIDENCE BAY - a RV gutted and outfitted to be used as editing stations! pretty neat actually. any filmmakers/commercial producers out there should consider it for your needs! confidencebay.com)

tell me what you think!

being up this late at night has it's certain advantages. i have no one to talk to, so this automatic word vomit reaction i have, can't just come spewing out over the internets immediately. i have to write it out. write out my angry ranting emails, write out my confessions of love, write out anything i want to say outside my head. and then a lot of times, i decide not to click send. not necessarily because i don't feel it anymore. probably because what i'm saying is a rash reaction, and i don't want to sound idiotic, so it's my electronic version of counting to 10. if i'm still feeling this way in the morning, then maybe i can just tell someone face to face. and also because maybe i just don't want to put "it" out there. there's a whole lot of nonsense out there, and it doesn't necessarily need to be pushed along by a few words i candidly wrote at 3:52am.

for example. there was a whole blog that i just wrote that i'm deciding not to post because... i don't trust it to be out there.

sorry. i'm going to whine for just a second.

i'm feeling.. really... lost. sometimes i feel like everything i've done in the past 5 years is a little bit all for nothing. or that i'm trying to chuck it all down the window to go down another path, except, i can't go down this path because i'm "too experienced" OR i'm not really experienced enough in the things that i want to do now, but really.. i don't even know where to start.

i found a job that i feel like i really could do.. except i probably won't be considered for it because i don't have a few of the requirements. things i could easily (hopefully) learn, but haven't yet. do i spend $1500-$3000 trying to learn avid? or do i just give up on that dream and try to enhance my FCP skills? because once i was told that you either are an avid editor, or FCP.. but they're so similar... why not both? because it costs a boat load of money to try and learn them now.

which also makes me kick myself for not trying to learn it earlier. when i was interning at fox rox, working at dd, or even on bedtime. the interning one is the most depressing - because i didn't really have much else to do. i should have utilized the most of it. oh wait, i was busy with circle k. how dumb does that seem now? while working, i could have been that person that stayed extra late to try and learn these systems - but i didn't. i was too wrapped up in the 10-18 hour days i was already putting in... which.. doesn't sound like it was a big mistake... but i could have pushed myself.

dorina tells me i'm too hard on myself, to which i reply "well that's how i was brought up".. except i really should work on not being hard on myself when i don't do things, and being harder on myself to accomplish them in the first place. that's probably the hardest part.

i probably just mostly really need a job. badly. but unfortunately i don't want to just take any job. is that retarded? but i don't know what i want. (that's retarded). but i miss being busy. i miss having something to do (even though i have so much i could be doing... SEE.. I'M TERRIBLE.) not working gives me so much time to dwell on things i shouldn't be dwelling on. i know i'm being silly and that i should just pick myself up from this wallowing puddle i'm in and get a move on. and then there's that side of me that watched entourage where E was told to not take what you have for granted and enjoy the freedom you have, and then i'm like hmm.. is that what i should be doing?

either way, i really want to find a way, find some answers... and for right now, i'm kind of okay if they're temporary. that's how sad and desperate i am. i've given up on the forever and would settle for right now... but i still want to feel like it's "right".

next post, i promise i'll try to be more upbeat. i'll apply to this job, cross my fingers and try to get some shizz done.

oh, by the way, did i tell you i'm trying to give up drinking until november? (with the exception of 1 or 2 momentous occasions)... i'll let you know how it goes.. it's been about 5 days so far... i think it'll get easier with time.. i hope!

so i group my email by subject, so that i can collapse my threads, but still have them be all together. every once in awhile when the subject name of an email is the same, i'll come across some really old emails. tonight i found some emails when we were planning a trip down to san diego. emails like this, make me nostalgic for the past, when times seemed to be simpler. maybe that's not true, and things are just different. i wouldn't necessarily say i'd want to go back to those times, because some pretty shitty things happened back then and i went through some crappy times, but i do miss some of the things that i liked that aren't there now. finding these old emails and remembering when we sang total eclipse of the heart at the top of our lungs in longboards, and hung out in this massive living room while playing wii bowling and being spun by brennan, and the fun times and smart ass things we said to each other makes me smile.

On 4/18/07, CY wrote:
B can't join- he works weekends. I had plans to hit up some sample sales with V so I can't do Sea World. EF, everyone? when do you need to know if I'm going or not? I'd love to hang out with you all in SD, but i don't want to hold anyone up and don't feel like doing the drive hans style this weekend...oh beautiful whale's vagina, i miss you so


On 4/18/07, BM wrote:
Ok CY, this is the second time I've noticed this. It's Han style! Han Solo captained the Millenium Falcon. Hans Christian Andersen wrote "The Little Mermaid". :)


On 4/19/07, EF wrote:
DA, at this moment i think have a SLIGHT crush on your super-knowledgable, super-nerdy, super-anal fuck buddy.

heh heh. anal fuck buddy.


On 4/19/07, DA wrote:
Three... wait for it... SOME?!

speaking of san diego, i'm back from my san diego trip, and hit up almost all of my favorite places to eat. sat.is.fied. i wish there was a little more time to visit with old friends, but i'll just have to go back another time where i'm not playing babysitter. but i am thankful for my sister and her 2 kids, because when they take trips, and we get invited along to help out, it's really just like family vacations, which we did a lot of when i was younger, and then they kind of died out, aaaaand now they're back! it sometimes might seem like a pain, but i know i'll cherish those moments where we all spent time together and laughed about the 5 desserts we "ambitiously" ordered and the softball sized sorbet scoops.

wow, i'm all sorts of gratitudey tonight.

here's something else. earlier today, i had a "cute" conversation with a check out boy at trader joe's. he's not so bad on the eyes himself. i might be going to a different grocery store than normal now. often.

saw the proposal tonight. it was a okay, there were definitely funny moments, but i do think story development could have been better. i think that's so often what i feel like i scrutinize the more, whether it's believable or not that this falling in love has happened.

cuz you know... movies are just like real life.

i really really really really should be sleeping right now.. but hell i'm on "vacation" kind of. plus i had 3 cups of coffee this morning, and probably will have 3 more in about 4 hours or so.

here is my opportunity to say a few things:

this whole "i think i might need a job" thing is growing day by day. everyone is like "oh man, that seems so great" - but i'm not really sure when it'll end, and that kind of freaks me out. well, i do know when it's going to end, december, when a freelance job starts up again - but i can't have one job where i work 3 months out of the year?! i feel like i had found some good leads, but nothing has really come of anything, so maybe that makes me even a little more anxious. i get impatient, i'm sick of waiting, i want already. so maybe that's that. plus my relative who is working overseas is in town, and my parents like to dote on how great that is, and how her chinese has really improved, and she's so pretty and lost so much weight. points are not going to my self esteem. but 4 days straight with my parents might drive anyone a little batty. (but i love them dearly.)

i really like traveling. and if i ever get a job where i have to travel for work, that might be a different story, but i like hotels, a lot. i like how it's clean and comforting and so nicely set up. i hate all the bs you have to go through to check and book and deal with incompetent people and all, but just lounging in a nice space never really gets old. i also like the towels. and i have to remind myself that it's not necessary to bring shampoo/conditioner when staying at nice hotels.

i relaxed my ass off yesterday... sort of. sort of because i still had to deal with 2 children who need lots of attention/can be slightly fussy, but pretty much i forgot what day it was yesterday. i blame all the other carefree families that were relaxing as well, and then suddenly i realized it wasn't a weekend. it was a weird feeling and i think i felt like i was over-indulging or being a glutton or something.

maybe that's where this "i need to do something with my life" thing is coming in. but not so much that i'm willing to chuck it all and go sell religious related things. (yes, seriously.) although that experience may be kind of cool because i'd get to develop my spanish and possibly travel(!), but then i'd be selling religious stuff. weird.

i also feel a little guilty about not caring more about comic con and the fact that i may get to go. i never realized what a big deal it was, or how cool it could be. it's not like i'm gonna go join those twitards that are waiting in line right now for the new moon panel tomorrow (crazy....) but i wish i more amped than i am. i guess it's just cuz i don't feel like i have a purpose even if i do attend, so.. i can't be all super involved. maybe it'll come to me. hah.

alright.. enough griping and rambling.. time for uhh.. a nap.

pictures soon!

I was doing so well at keeping up with the blogging - and then it just died. I'm sorry. I think of all these things I'm "going to blog about" and it never comes to fruition. There's just so many things that come up, and of course I can't just post something until it's just right. I've been spending the last 4 days cleaning up, picking, organizing my photos from Taiwan/HK/Shanghai and after, and it's kind of taking forever. But I think I'll feel good when it's all done.

I couldn't sleep tonight, a combination of me waking up very late, and just restlessness in general. I did a little work (which is good!) and then my mind started to wander.

I found out today that a boy I used to have a crush on has gotten engaged. (in a super nice beautiful probably dream worthy romantic place too by the way! dagger. heart.) Not that I don't wish them well, and I know that it makes sense, I think it makes me feel a little bit like I'm failing at something. It's weird because I can't even fathom getting or being married right now, so where do these feelings come from? I guess a sense of general lacking in the life accomplishment area? Does that even make sense? Is it silly? Probably. The girl he's gotten engaged to is 2 years younger than me and seemingly has a really good job that she enjoys. Albeit it's a lot different than what she originally said she always wanted to do, she loves it now. She landed the job by a random chance occurrence and rose quickly through the ranks and is at a really good level. The guy: he's older, which probably attributes to the settling down earlier rather than later, but at a good place in his life and kind of always knew what he wanted to do. She's kind of "where" I'd like to be, and he's kind of "who" I'd like to be with. I feel like I'm so far away from all of that, but I want it.

You know that episode of Friends where Joey dreams of Monica being his girlfriend and sitting close on the couch and them doing crossword puzzles together after he sees Monica & Chandler doing it? That's kind of me, but without the dream part. Just a constant wonder and want. I want to be kind of settled in that comfortable I know what's going on sort of way. I want to know what I want to do and enjoy doing it, or at least working towards a goal. I'm in this weird pool where I have NO CLUE what exactly I want to do, and I'm willing to try out different things, but there's going to be a little bit of time before the trial and error process will be complete. Add on the fact that I don't know when it'd start. I know I have the rest of my life to work, but I feel like I'm getting too old to still be so clueless. I KNOW that everyone goes through it, even super successful people who had great careers and accomplishments wonder at some point what they're doing and make changes. But I need to have that one. The over achiever OCD person in me feels like I'm way behind.

I went through all the silly little crush options that are currently floating around with a friend, and we determined that basically, I have no options. None of them will materialize in any sort of relationship. At least for now, possibly ever. And there's nothing I can do about it. Well, that sucks. I realize that you don't really know until it comes. And it's probably kind of like apartment hunting, it's always the last one you look at, because once you find it, you stop looking. But really, I don't even feel like there are contenders. And much like the feeling that I won't be working until December, this scares me. A lot. In a I'm flailing kind of quickly and there's nothing to grab on to sort of way. A boy that I used to hang out with a lot has recently been talking to me again. This should make me feel better right? Maybe, but not really. Because I know it doesn't mean anything. And it's not "real" and while I might get a little flustered at certain times because he may still manage to make me feel a certain way, when I honestly think about it, it's not what I really want or the way I want it to be. I may have grown out of it a little. That part makes me feel kind of good.

I feel like sometimes I know what I want, or least want to try, but I still can't obtain it. So I'm not really sure how I'm gonna get anywhere. I guess I have to just be diligent and patient, and work on things that I enjoy, things that will help me get places, and also, work on me. I see a lot of what I don't want, and I'm thankful that in those shoes. But I see examples of things that actually work, and I see that it exists and that it's out there, so why can't I have it too? Cheesy as it may be, I'm kind of a believer that things happen for a reason, and if it's meant to be it will be. But I need the pieces to start falling into place soon... even if's its just the corner ones, or the ones that are all the same color.

(sorry if this is incoherent.. i tried to go back and edit, but not sleeping all night has taken it's toll.)

ps. i also stayed up late/woke up early to try and win entrance to the private coldplay show. i REALLY want that. give it to me now.

Okay.. so apparently everyone "knew" I was staying. I don't know how they all knew when I didn't and literally made a clutch decision and spent 2 hours beforehand agonizing over it before I kind of just ended up with this decision...

I spent all day packing and organizing my stuff. And in the past few days I've been stuffing my face, and running around town on the "what does Jean want to do in Taiwan" tour. (I'm really fortunate to have such great relatives btw.) Any weight I may have sweated off is back, and then some. So it seems kind of anticlimactic that I stay... but supposedly no one here sees it that way, or they're just being polite. There have been moments where I've been really bored or thought "if I was at home (insert friend's name here) would do this with me", and was really ready to come home. And then got to talking about trips my cousin was planning on taking in the next week or two and I was a little amiss, but still okay. My aunt was taking me to the airport, but had to stop by her work to grab a few things. In the elevator I see this poster about the Dragon Boat Festival and holidays and suddenly realize it's a bigger deal than I think. I make a few phone calls, agonize over this decision, drive to go get my already packed bags, call some more, mull over it some more, call the airline company to see what would happen if I didn't get on the plan/cancel my online check in, thought about it some more, made some more phone calls, googled for some insight, thought about it, and then 10pm rolled around and it was "about" time that if I didn't leave 5 seconds ago, then it'd be too late for my flight. Plus I figured if I really started to get homesick, I could just come home at any time really. But it was more like my reason for not staying was feeling bad about not leaving. Is that reason?

So.. I'm hoping I have fun at the Dragon Boat Festival (which.. I really think Festival is misleading in the "American" sense because I think it's mostly the races, and not like a bunch of booths or anything.. but we'll see!) and my cousin is planning a trip to Sun Moon Lake. If that doesn't happen I'll be pretty not so pleased, but I think it's pretty set, especially since I stayed. I'll have to look up other things that I want to do that don't involve stuffing my face or draining my bank account, and hopefully just have a merry time even though I'm supposed to be on a plane right now. I think this is the first time I've missed a plane in my life. What if my future husband was on that plane? Well.. I guess it's too late now. Mom, Dad - no grandkids cuz I decided to stay longer in Taiwan.

Here's an update to my list:

1. Mister Donut
2. More KFC Egg Tarts
3. Mos Burger
4. Little Shanghai Dumplings
5. Visit Grandma
6. Night of debaucheressness @ Room 18?
7. Taroko National Park (yay!)
8. Pack
9. Clean up Apt.
10. Find yellow umbrella
11. Yong Kang Jie?
12. mmm.. anything else? cut hair again? trim bangs? buy more purses?! (am I too good for fake Marc Jacobs?)
13. Sun Moon Lake
14. Dragon Boat Festival
15. Unpack

So.. a quick blog. I haven't been very good at updating while I've been gone - but that just means I've been busy out doing stuff!! Plus and then there's the whole I'd like to make it exciting add pictures and that take time, and I'm not always around the computer - so there ya go. Last week I went to Hong Kong and Shanghai and didn't bring my computer, plus didn't really have internet anyway, so there was that. And the day after tomorrow I'm leaving!! Yikes! How did a month pass by so quickly. I've been contemplating staying a little longer, row in a dragon boat race or something, but I think I should maybe get a life... figuratively, of course. Or at least stop being a drain on the people here as they have their lives to attend to. Although I've been pretty good about stimulating Taiwan's economy.

Leaving in a little over 48 hours definitely adds a slight sense of urgency to everything that I want to do, but hopefully I will cram it all in, and it won't be another 3 years before I return. But my sister keeps threatening me with that fact. (Is $100 worth it to stay longer? Plus all the money I'll spend here and then the excess baggage fees?!) haha. I like life here, mostly because it's simple be cause I have no responsiblities here. No parents to have to answer to, no real bills to pay, no daily drama, no job... haha. But it does get a tad bit lonesome when I pass by the wine bar or the whisky gallery and want to go in but have no one to go with, or no real income to support a drinking habit. It's been a good run, but the asian in me is thinking that I need some structure in my life (how sad am I?) But I am excited to hang out with Jaymie who's moving to London soon (*sniff), Angelee who's coming down for the 10 year HS Reunion (scary), eating with anyone who will meet me @ Open Sesame, catching up on the 307 hours of TV I've missed (any of you ruin it for me I WILL SHANK YOU), and seeing everyone back in the place that I call home. I don't feel like it's been that long, so I don't think that I've really been "missed" because it's like any other long period of time where you just don't have time to hang out, so you know.. you just go about your life. I feel like everyone has just done that. Dorina's probably the only person (oh.. and Brennan) who it's most noticeable for. But apparently they just went to Mexico, so I might have to stay away for 7 more days just to see if she develops a fever. She's got a bad immune system, that one.

I'm excited to have my iPhone back in full force, reunion with my car, possible (hopefully!) run-ins with neighbor guy, working on projects (MAKE ME DO IT) and maybe even finding some work that will be good for me. But enough on home.

Things to do before I go:

1. Mister Donut
2. More KFC Egg Tarts
3. Mos Burger
4. Little Shanghai Dumplings
5. Visit Grandma
6. Night of debaucheressness @ Room 18?
7. Taroko National Park (yay!)
8. Pack
9. Clean up Apt.
10. Find yellow umbrella
11. Yong Kang Jie?
12. mmm.. anything else? cut hair again? trim bangs? buy more purses?! (am I too good for fake Marc Jacobs?)

So it's coming towards the end of week 2 here and I started to get a little bored last night. A little stir-crazy if you will. I managed to fight it by calling up my cousin and whereas I suggested bowling, we went to the batting cages instead, but it was Ladies' night and I got to play for free, so I guess I can't complain too much. It was nice hanging out with the cousin, and while he's kind of quiet, he'll answer pretty much any question I ask, and then we trade questions about how to say certain words in Chinese/English.

I finally got a chance to check out the Whisky Gallery by the place that I'm staying at. It'd pretty be Jaymie and Angelee's dream. It's not too shabby I will have to say and I had two drinks, both from Scotland, and wasn't going to complain. Although a little pricey - but I guess that's just what good drinking costs. It was around $12-$15 per glass, so not terrible. Kind of on par with a place like 7 Grand or something. But definitely a lot less fuss.

It's possible that I may be heading to Hong Kong and China next week, partially out of boredom, partially out of things working out just right timing wise, partially out of wanting to go exploring and thinking "when else am I going to get the chance?" I will really be draining my bank accounts (sort of) - but it might be well worth it. Especially if I end up at Hong Kong Disneyland - and although it's less fun to hang out there by my onesome, it's still Hong Kong Disneyland right?!

Random note: I was looking at some pictures and I'm reaaaally craving some good Mac n Cheese right now. I'm going to put that on my list of things to do when I get back (or Dre.. put that on our list!) along with Father's Office. Two musts.

Not too much else is "going on" that doesn't seem like normal life. I got a bit too much sun today (foolishly not putting on any sunblock of course..., plus I didn't factor in the swimming time in addition to the laying out time, so my arms/chest are so awful!) so I'm hoping I just turn to tan instead of peeling.



I went on this motorcycle ride and hiked up this mountain to get to this view. I can't say it was my first motorcycle ride, because I'm pretty sure that I've ridden on a bike when I was little and got burned by the tailpipe by putting my leg in the wrong spot. But my first "real"(?) ride. It was fun, and just through the city - so not like speed racing downhill on a Ducati or anything, but nice, despite the rain. It's definitely a nice way to "see the city" although probably more so if I was the driver and not the passenger. The hike was fun, a little (a lot) dark, but I got to see some fireflies and there weren't too many crawling things. Apparently there's a different place that has an even better view, but you have to go through this graveyard to get there? And just when I was going to face my fears to do it, the rain spoiled this little excursion of mine (it's a sign!). Regardless, I love views, and it kind of reminded me of Runyon Canyon, except you can't do Runyon @ night (is there any LA views you can get to at night? Shouldn't I know this?)

My sister has a food blog and while taking me around town has been re-visiting some places and collecting info for posts. I love her little organization skills and her notebook for cataloging everything, and i hope I'm not giving away too many of her secrets, but her book is kind of awesome. Plus you know, I don't mind being a guinea pig for all the stuff she wants to try. I'm still really curious about the Mexican food in Danshui! Hopefully I'll get to go on the weekends, and I also have to remind myself to have a Mos Burger before I go. Food I have had while I've been here includes: italian, pig intestine noodles, shaved ice, fresh made ice creams, yummy dumplings (both fried and not), mochi desserts, sausages off carts , burgers, corn dogs (not very good, don't get corn dogs in Taiwan), tofu/noodles/rice cakes off carts, paninis, korean food, chicken soup, green bean wraps and brunch. it runs the gamut of good to not so great and western food here doesn't really compare to california food at home, so i'm less inclined to eat american food here - but nothing has been super terrible. I haven't been to my favorite soup buns and beef noodle soup place yet, so I'm hoping for some of that soon. And Saturday we have a lunch at Din Tai Fong. There's a branch in Arcadia and apparently Chinese people of all sorts flock to it and exclaim how good it is, but I think is kind of overrated (you know me and hype), but maybe my mind will change come Saturday.

And finally, two of the cutest kids ever.

The few days that I've been here in Taiwan, I think that I've learned that I can't live alone. I'm staying in a place with a friend of my sister's, and while he's really cool, I don't know him that well and he's not home a lot. So we don't have that rapport where I can call/text him and be like "What it do? Where you at? When you be home?" and know exactly what's going on, BUT I WANT TO. The necessary social person in me, is like "when is he coming home? I need another person to relate to" It's just one of those things where I am not all that comfortable by super silences and like to have shared experiences with a person. I was home by myself for a few hours and got a tad bit freaked out and maybe it's a mental thing. Knowing that I'm truly "alone" makes me anxious for someone else, as where when I'm "alone" at home where I know it's fleeting, I embrace the few hours that I have. And this test isn't totally without faults. I don't have my own job (or lack thereof!), friends, tv with dvr/video games/movies to occupy me so that my time by myself isn't away from those people, but rather just time all by my lonesome, not knowing when it's going to end (until my sister calls me the next day.) And then I start to wonder how I would survive in a different city/state where I truly don't know anyone, and it's not like a "oh I'll be home in a month where my 'real' friends are, so it's okay" kind of situation. I'd probably make friends like I'm hopefully going to inevitably do now. (hopefully people at a new job would be friends with me right?) I'd hopefully get my bearings straight and know how to make my way home coming back from the MRT station and not walk down the block until I realize that I'm going the wrong way. And the language barrier wouldn't be such an issue, thus making me feel a little less alone. But here, I hope for the most part that my accent and Chinese gets a little better from being around the native speakers and having it be a little less retarded foreign. haha. My sister is already laughing at me when I'm "practicing" what to say to the taxi drivers in order to get to destinations safely. It's okay.. I probably deserve it. If my mom keeps making fun of me because I can't differentiate four and ten (in Chinese), and I've never fixed it, I might deserve all the accentuation making fun of I've gotten by now. It's my Achilles heel.

Today was my nephew's first birthday party with all his friends! (followed by family dinner on his actual first birthday, Tuesday.) It was a pretty good time with stories, music, singing and stories, with a Chinese ritual thrown in and Mumuhug decorations, characters and cake! ooh! This is probably the "main" reason I came back, to celebrate his bday, but also to just hang with the fam. But I'm glad I could be here for this... it was fun. Then I went shopping with my cousin, ate some oyster noodle soup, ate some italian, and then played with the nephews some. Along with being addicted to the Flight Controller app/game on my sister's iphone. It's kind of terrible. The competition side of me wants so badly to be good enough to even come near her high score! I'm only about 50%.

~~~~~~~~

I wrote this a few days ago, but couldn't post it because my internet connection dropped out. I went home last night and it was really nice being by myself because I knew the "roomie" wouldn't be home for awhile. I was super exhausted (delayed on set jet lag) and it was nice to just chill, play flight control and chillax until it was time for bed and not need to talk to anyone. So I guess I'm back at square one on the "do I like being alone" thing.

My new high score on FC is 102... that's 3 off of my sister's score... that's gonna require some more practice.

Dinner for B's actual birthday tonight! And I'm hoping for some tomfoolery going on this week.

Taiwan: Day 1. I look kind of narcissistic and vain posting these, well.. if you don't know me. But for those of you that have seen me recently, I cut my hair. I wouldn't say chopped because it's not super short, but my hair was getting pretty long and the biggest real difference is that I have straight across bangs. I've been toying with the idea of these for awhile, but I didn't want to look like a china doll, or like I was in the 2nd grade again. But my sister's stylist is pretty awesome and cut my hair pretty well, even though I was a little frightened by the length as first. But I'm pretty okay with it. Hopefully when I wash and style myself I'll still be okay with the results.

Today was my first full day, and just spent the day with the sis and the fam doing various things, eating at some just okay places and another really yummy place, trying to get acclimated with streets and directions so I can attempt to get to and fro all by my lonesome (I know.... stop laughing... wish me luck!) and getting the hair wash and cut. I really enjoy getting my hair washed in Taiwan, it just always so much more comforting for some reason. I feel like since it's my first Saturday night, I should be out or something, but I'll save up for another weekend or so. I don't need to show up hungover to another birthday party.. :P Speaking of... Tomorrow is B's big one year bday party! Hopefully the mounds of screaming kids doesn't drive me too insane, but I think it'll be fun. I'm excited!

do you think this is enough clothing for taiwan? okay.. actually i jest. and in this picture, it doesn't even look that bad. there are many layers of clothing that you cannot see in this picture. i basically went through my whole closet and pulled out anything i may want to wear. so really, i should just chuck everything that's left in the closet... but not really. i mean.. some clothes just aren't "right" for taiwan, or the weather right now. so it's not fair to say that i should totally chuck everything. but my closet does need a good deep cleaning. maybe that will happen when i get back. it'd be a good time to go through and purge i think.

either or, i'm going to go visit my sister for a bit and i'm pretty dang excited to do so. this is the first trip i've taken to taiwan without a parental figure being there, so not that i think it'll be that much different, but it kind of is... a little. my mom is probably freaking out a little bit about it, saying i should call up all the cousins and have them hang out with me. "what mom? you don't want me just walking down to the local bar and meeting some new folks?" haha.. not that i would.. but it's just so funny how my mom comes up with these suggestions... like how i should call up relatives that i never ever talk to and say "hey! i'm here! let's hang!" she doesn't get how it's awkward i guess. like i tried to tell my boy cousin who's living in our house now that we should go out for his birthday, get dessert or something. at first he said yes, went downstairs and got a cup of milk and then a few minutes later said he had to study. maybe i bombarded him with too many questions like "what is your favorite dessert?" or "do you like cake or ice cream better" - but he just did not want to hang out with me or be taken out for his birthday. i mean, sometimes i feel bad because he's here without any "real" family, and that's probably tough... but if he wasn't so effing difficult, maybe it wouldn't be so hard. and he's not completely retarded, he has friends, and maybe even a girlfriend... so i don't get it! oh well.

i'm excited to hang with my sis and the nephews. i'm excited to try all the "new" places to eat, maybe i'll get to try taiwan's version of mexican food this time. i'm excited to experience a little bit of "normal life in taiwan" not just the truncated 2 week version whirlwind of it. i'm excited to see my relatives. i'm excited for the night markets! i'm excited to eat food off a cart where i don't have to wait 3hrs for a freaking taco, or run down the street while the besthotdogintheworld lady is running down the street. way back in 2005 i wrote down "things i want to do in Taiwan" and i think i've actually done all those things... except for that last thing which i still can't remember. and i did a fairly decent job of blogging - so many i can this time.

life is pretty much status quo though... here are the things i'll be sad to miss out on while i'm gone: keane concert, being darrell's +1 to a wedding, wii mario kart races with luke skywalker's son, ikea runs with andrea to outfit her new apartment, disneynature's earth, grilled cheese invitational, a few birthdays, the dry heat (i am so not looking forward to all the humidity!), and really all the fun and havoc caused on a regular basis. but i am excited to just... chill. and BUY LOTS OF CUTE STUFF. (whoa... excited.)

i should probably get to bed now.. for at least a little powernap before some last day errands. here is are a few last stories that i was going to blog about but never did, so short short updates:

*tuesday was free cone day @ ben and jerry's and i tried one sweet whirled. you MUST try it, it's like heaven in your mouth.

*i basically WRECKED my feet walking in heels in hollywood. after leaving a bar on sunset, we walked all the way up to hollywood blvd to get bacon wrapped hot dogs and then back down past sunset to get back to the house. i really really really could not walk, but in better judgment than the debacle where i took off my shoes on the wooden santa monica pier (who does that?!), i was convincingly not allowed to take my shoes off on the icky hollywood streets, which was probably a good idea since i had OPEN WOUNDS on the bottom of them. this i didn't discover until the next morning. i had trouble walking all day, it was a pitiful sight. i've made a surprisingly quick recovery, i guess feet skin grows pretty fast. i thought i'd be hobbling around taiwan for at least the first few days.

*attempted to have lunch with nicole & ashley @ open sesame grill in manhattan beach. that place is FANTASTIC. highly recommend it. but we didn't get to eat it that day because right after we put the order in, the power blew out. we didn't notice it, because we were sitting outside on another very lovely 90 degree day, but soon we hear massive sirens and lots of backed up traffic and heard that the whole plaza was out, and then some. my first thought was to loot the ice cream store, but we filled up on pita and hummus and got our drinks comped and promised to come back. (side note: ashley brought me open sesame for dinner tonight and it was so freaking good, i'm glad to have had the fix before i left) seriously... go now.

*oh! and go see EARTH in theatres btwn apr 22-28 and Disney will plant a tree for every ticket sold! buy a ticket for me too :)

since i've been back, there isn't a whole lot that has happened. i mean, there has, but nothing monumental. i've been job hunting a little, and i got this fortune (which i was going to post a picture, but now can't find... is that a bad sign?) that basically said that i should take some time for myself. i know that fortune cookies are kind of a crock, but part of me sort of believes in them. i was dining with ashley, and she got the fortune that was very fit for her. and sure it was a 50/50 chance that we would end up with those, but still...

so i've been applying to a few jobs a week, as of course required by my funemployment funds. and i don't mind THAT much, because i'd like to not totally become a huge sloth. i do need to be a little more productive, and that might take some of the guilt off of me being home all the time, so that's something i need to work on as well. but i'll come across some jobs that i don't "reaaaallly" want, but might be interesting to check out. do i apply to those too? for fun? although i think if i turn down a job, my funemployment might be "questioned" - and the fact that i have a really hard time saying no. and then there's the question of "what do i want to do?"... which is.. well.... I DON'T KNOW. that's probably my fundamental problem. so in the search for the elusive "what i want to do" there's a ton of "oh.. maybe that wouldn't be so bad", but then that's just a distraction! i need blinders? or do i just do that for now because the economy is bad and i should have a job. and maybe i'm not meant to stay in the entertainment industry, cuz, you know... there's a lot of other stuff out there. and do i want to move away from LA? that might be fun, living in new york would be awesome. but if i could get a job in norcal, should i do that instead? i know that settling shouldn't really be on the agenda, but i also know (or at least think) that i should be realistic and know that i'm not going to get everything that i want all at once.

so.. in conclusion.. i still don't know. i'm not sure that i will for awhile. and stuff that "seems cool" - always seems to stress me out. but i think i pinpointed some of that stress and possibly how to avoid it. it's the actually following through is the hard part. i found some jobs that i think would actually be really awesome if i got, but those are kind of a long shot, especially because i'd need to move to a different country for that to happen, and i think they give preference to citizens of that country... for obvious reasons. either way... fingers crossed. and until then... vacation :) (ish)

this gives me hope.

it's coming to the end of my european vacation. sad. face. sort of. while it was a good time being out here and doing different things, i didn't do a TON of things that i wouldn't be able to do at home. and really doing these things and experiencing these things is really about the company you're with and sharing these moments with them. not that i didn't (mostly) enjoy the company i had - but these aren't my good friends, just people i met on this trip. so i had a good time, scratch that, a GREAT time. but i did miss you. sort of. :P in the sense that i wish you were here with me, not me with you.

either way, this last week or so has been kind of a whirlwind. since after st. patrick's day, i've been all around ireland, going to the south and west coasts, went to scotland, and now i'm in paris. i got to run around and drink wine and have desserts underneath the glow of the eiffel tower and it was awesome. sitting in the metro on the way up to the tower, i was like "oh, it's like the one in vegas." walking up to it actually, was inspiring. scotland was very pretty, and my new goal is to find an irish boyfriend so he can take me picnicking in the burren and the cliffs of moher, and then i've found the castle that sits on a lake that i'm getting married at. doesn't have to be an irish man for that, but i guess it makes the most sense because i wouldn't fly all the way over there to get married to someone who wasn't irish.... or would i?

i've taken over 1000 pictures or so, most of them i'll probably need to filter out. had more jameson and beer and beef stew and sausages than ever, and my clothes seriously need a washing, and i desperately need a haircut. oh yea, and then i have to find a source of income because my bank account is probably drained and my credit card bill is going to be ri.di.cul.ous. but it was worth it.

see you kids soon.

There isn't really a "great" reason why I'm on the internet while in a foreign country, so I'll just chalk it up to jetlag. But hello from Dublin! I really wish that I could upload some pictures to post, but that will just have to wait until I come back. I also would like to post some SF pictures.

I just wanted to say hi~ it took awhile for "being in Dublin" to hit me, and I'm not even sure it really has yet. It's kind of just like traveling to any other "unknown" area, but I'm sure in the next few days as we do more sightseeing, it'll sink in more. I'm staying in a hostel (first time ever!) and did a little walking around. But I haven't been sleeping much, and trying to sleep on the plane wasn't fantastic, so we're going to get a good night sleep before traveling to Howth and Malahide tomorrow. I'm glad I have a whiskey drinking partner along, because I thought that it would be lonely journey for me. Not that the objective is to be shitfaced all the time. Plus, everything is expensive here. AND they charge you for mixed drinks twice. (Once of the liquor, once for the coke) or three times, in the case that I got two "dashes" of something. Bullshit I call, but hey.. I will be doing a lot of "on the rocks". Here's another tip for you: don't order seafood in Dublin. I thought seafood was supposed to be "good" in Ireland, but apparently only on the coasts, not in Dublin. And don't go to a place called Copper Faced Jacks - unless you want to be felt up and sleazed all over on the regular. (The last bit is speaking from hearsay, not experience... The seafood one: trust me.)

so i watched the oscars and the reader tonight. the oscars, i'm going to say that i rathered enjoyed. there are some parts that were kind of bad, and a could be better. but i liked the different and the new look and all that other stuff. i'm not one who just likes what everyone else likes because they say it's good. maybe sometimes i try, and i can definitely be swayed, but usually i'm very simple in my likes. i watched the reader, and either i just wasn't paying attention, but i didn't quite "get it". maybe i'm not deep enough, maybe i had too much jack - but i read wikipedia afterwards and it makes more sense to me. the fine details i didn't quite get while watching the movie. to me, those things make a movie for me. in one sense, i REALLY enjoyed milk - and while heavily important, i didn't have to work hard to "get it". maybe this makes me incredibly dense or juvenile, but sometimes i don't want to work that hard in a movie. i like to be entertained. if i wanted to think - i'd work. and not to say i'm lazy, i like to be challenged, as long as there's a resolution. if i'm left with lots of questions and "make what you want of it"... that doesn't make me so happy.

anyhoo... i'm excited that curious case of benjamin button won for vfx. go digital domain. i slightly wish that i still worked there so i could share in the excitement. but hey.. i didn't actually work on that film, so my outsider excitement for them is the same as an ex or current employee. congrats kids.

in an effort to not re-type - check out: http://thatisneverok.blogspot.com/2009/02/super-sad-face.html i made this video, and while i'm kind of embarrassed and think it's super cheesy, i still think it's kind of clever. i'm sure in a few months, i'll come back and look at it and see what i could have done better. but there are some pieces (like my sister's wedding video) - i adore and think "wow.. i'm kind of good at this" not to toot my own horn, but for your own projects you know exactly how much work went into it, and i like seeing how near flawlessly it came out. when i used to be a lot better and formatting and rending stuff. apparently now i BLOW AT IT. (stupid work video....) anyhoo. you can see my very first video resume below and the sob story that accompanies it.

boo urns.

so i think i've silently resolved to blog more here, because while puppies are fun, it's nice to go back and read through essentially my diary. i'm not quite as detailed, or exploitative or rambley as in something that i'd only read myself - but then that helps me be a little less embarrassed in the future. it kind of amazes me sometimes that i've had this blog since 2001. that seems like a loooooong time ago.

sometimes, i read back through the history of some entries - mostly when i'm looking for something, or trying to remember an event or something i said, and it's funny to me how i've changed over the years, because i don't *feel* like i've changed that much, but i guess i have. for the better or worse, i'm a slightly different jean now. dorina tells me that i've changed in the time that she's known me, which is roughly less than 3 years, you could only imagine how i'm different from 2001.

2001-2003 it's a lot of blogging about school, circle k, and towards the latter half, jason mraz. haha. the circle k friends (the people i met through the community service club, not hanging outside a convenience store) are the ones who got me into this "blogging" thing. i think at that time it was still new and exciting, or just not as rampant as it is now, and i either wanted to be one of the cool kids and have my very own link, or felt like i had something to share too, or it totally could have been peer pressure. regardless, it's interesting to read some of my ramblings and see what some of my biggest worries are at any particular moment.

2003-2005 i can't say all what it was about, but i was re-reading some post prior to me getting the job @ DD. there was a lot of sadness and angst, probably mostly from living at home and fighting with my parents EVERY.DAY. and not feeling good enough. there are a lot of sentences and statements in various blogs like "oh.. that's just cuz i'm a loser" or something to that effect, and i don't know if it was just cool and my thing to be that emo, or if i was fishing for compliments - but i definitely didn't think so highly of myself. now, i'm trying to think if i say that ever, even just for fun - and mostly i think about how many times i call other people losers - filled with a lot of eff words. is that mean? or confident? there's always a fine line between those.

within the past 3 years, blogging has been more sparse. i haven't read enough to really have a take on them, or maybe i'm not even far enough removed. maybe i'm so self-reflecty-ey because i'm coming to a time where i have to really think about myself and where i want to go next. it's not just... there for me.

there's also a lot of thought about relationships. i've met a girl at work, and we are a lot alike. and although she's 2 years younger than me, she's 4 years work experience behind me, and it sort of makes a lot of difference. but going back - this wasn't about work. she met a guy at work, and while i'm pretty sure she knows they're not MFEO, there was a point when she thought it was, then in dwindled, then she got really annoyed, then he ignored her, and now she's gone back to him. and my point in all this is that even if you KNOW it's not going to work out, do you just give it a go anyways? to say that you've tried, or just because you really feel like you want to try? i've definitely done that. but more than that, i've cut things off before they even get anywhere because i figure it's not going to happen, or matter, or work out. is that wrong? am i saving myself a headache? or missing out on an experience? am i being smart and not crazy? or unfeeling and cold?

my friend has a date this week. my friend is ALWAYS going out on dates. i don't even know how my friend has the time or the energy to meet so many different people to go on so many different dates. and my friend isn't genuinely that happy. and there are many times that i say, "i'm so glad i'm not my friend." but do i wish i was my friend so that i can experience all these things, even if it means driving myself crazy or getting out of my comfort zone? i don't know.

lastly, i sometimes ask the roommate's BF for guy or life advice. while being pretty sane, he has the compassion and observational insight. that's important. he's never definite, and just always suggests, and usually gives pretty good advice. he's gone through many situations over the course of high school until now, and i think that helps when i'm trying to ask him about LIFE. he said that one has to be comfortable with yourself to go after and obtain other things that you want. and if you're not, then you have to figure out what it is, and how to change it. that seems like pretty DUH advice, but it's not something people spend a lot of time on, because, you know, it's easier to live with the status quo. i think that's also what this time off is going to be for. i mean.. aside from the month and a half of traveling that i just conjured up in my brain. i want to say that i will be better for it by the next time i get a job, or maybe just stuff to work on for 2009.

be the change you want to see.