for months - actually, maybe years, - i have been threatening to blog more. for one reason or another it hasn't happened, and i can't really promise that i'll be super good at it again, but like always, i'll try. i think that a little re-design and update will help because maybe i will feel like i can be a little more creative. i have a twitter, i have a tumblr and i post lots of things there, but nothing quite like writing about yourself and the actual thoughts you have about the things you think rather than the random picture post through instagram. (though i do love me some instagram right now.) it still floors me that i've had this blog for over 10 years. there is a lot of me in this page. if people who just meet me now find this, there is a lot you might learn - it's kind of weird, and a little scary, but oddly nice to have the memories. hey 2001 me.
what's new with 2012 me? hmm. i'm better than i was in that last post - so that's good news. i am still trying to figure a lot of life things out, but i've learned a little bit since last year, but it's still hard. life can be tough, and trying to get through it without too many tears or gaining too much eating my feelings weight.
life can also be fun, and even though there is bad, there is a lot of good. i've had a lot of good times in the past few days/months/years that i haven't been blogging. a lot of smiles, a lot of friends, tons of food and desserts, music, deserts, photos, sightseeing, movie nights, dinners, hanging out at home, video games, board games, long chats, jousting knights, mickey mouse, karaoke, birthdays... and then soon to come - weddings and babies! (not me... not yet.) i'm still hoping the good outweighs the bad.
i turned 30 and that was fun. i don't have these big anxieties about all the things i'm supposed to be doing or how i'm so old because i still feel plenty young. but there are lot of things that i do want to do, so hopefully i have the smarts, money, determination and willingness to do them.
i recently worked on a film, you might have heard of it:
PROMETHEUS. not being a huge sci-fi nerd, or even having seen the first
Alien film (yes, i know i know), it wasn't a pee my pants omg i'm in the same room as Ridley Scott experience for me, but i am really glad i got to be a part of the process and hope that people really enjoy the film.
i got LASIK! having worn glasses since the 2nd grade, it's weird to just be able to see all the time. it's just sort of like i'm wearing contact lenses non-stop. i don't think it's quite sunk in yet, but there are times i do realize that it's a nice added bonus i don't have to stop something because i can't see. it was a little painful, but nothing you can't handle, and definitely worth the next few decades (knock on wood) of just being able to see. i went to NVISION in torrance and it was definitely a good experience - it was like the disneyland of laser eye centers. everyone was smiling and welcoming and liked to smile and greet me. it was kind of weird, but comforting.
i say "i think" and "i hope" a lot (and a lot in this blog) - and i think that is me right now. i have a lot of hope for what will be. there are the moments where there is doubt, and being down, and i'm grateful for the moments that pull me out of that. hoping for some traveling, hoping for some figuring some life stuff out, hoping to lose a few pounds, hoping to reconnect with friends, hoping for love and happiness.
definitely -
here's hoping.
My dad is a gem. He has a great sense of belief/disbelief and humor. He says all sorts of silly things like "I am the best driver, if Diana was in my car she wouldn't have died." Or he likes to say "no problemdo" like he's the best at spanish. My dad also does really terrible things and we have our moments - but since he's my father, you have to love and live and learn how to deal with things. Without that - you wouldn't get absolute awesome things like this.