so i'm freaking out a little (as usual).. i wormed my way into my friend's short film. i thought i would just be a glorified PA or something.. and then through being in the right place/right time - and the fact that i'm awesome i got handed AD responsibilities - sort of.. just fill in stuff, and now i'm going to cut the piece. crazy! i'm freaking out a little because these are industry people with high tech gadgets and expectations and while i'm good, i'm not technical, and that's part of being fantastic. some guy's career is riding on this, and i'm... yikes. anyways.. i guess i better bone up. lots of internet research. lets see those $2000 i paid for my classes pay off. hahaha. it's good timing though. i'm just coming off pirates/insane crazy work hours, so while i'll still be working 45-50 hrs/week it won't be 70. i'll be able to use those extra hours for this. so still staying busy.. but different busy. not that staying up unitl 3am is helping me (damn you DST.. it'd still be 2am if it wasn't for you..)

new jobby starts tomorrow. a little freaked, but not that worried, because my old boss is awesome. maybe i'm beginning to border on the edge of over confident - which is bad. so i gotta reel it in. i'm training my replacement in the morning and then being trained in the afternoon. hope it goes well. i'm going back to using an apple at work - so i hope all my windows skills don't go down the toilet since that's all i have at home - but i still have my work laptop. i know it seems trivial - but i often find myself pushing the wrong buttons when searching for the control/command key. haha.

ummm.. why am i up at 3am? i dunno. but i'm being a little mean and enjoying it. i think lately i have been a little void of feelings.. maybe no time to feel - maybe if i don't feel i can't get hurt? or i'm just taking the passive agressive route. (most likely). i feel like sometimes i'm no fun anymore.. unless i'm super comfortable with you and i really like you - you don't get the real me. you get half enthused me. i don't know what to say, don't get excited about stuff, can express emotions. it's really strange. sometimes i feel like a shell of myself around certain people. i can't really explain it, or maybe i just don't care to, but i'm a lot worse at trying to fake emotions than i used to - and i wasn't even good at it before. maybe with more sleep i'll return to not zombie. (tonight is not a good starting point though.) haha.

okay. bed. bye.