*disclaimer* by "us" it means my sister and her friends. :)
LOS ANGELES: BETTER LUCK TOMORROW STRATEGY MEETING
JOIN US for the strategy meeting for the release of BETTER LUCK TOMORROW.
We are gearing up for an April 2003 release- and need your help to get the word out to as many people as possible.
SATURDAY, MARCH 8
Visual Communications
2-4pm.
We will screen BLT: Genesis, the behind the scenes documentary, and the trailer for Better Luck Tomorrow.
Meet Justin Lin and the cast of Better Luck Tomorrow.
Pick up BLT posters and postcards to spread to your friends and drop off at your favorite hangouts.
Help us with our grassroots marketing strategy and campaign!
EMAIL YOUR RSVP at info@betterlucktomorrow, so we know how many
people are planning to attend.
Once we get your RSVP- we will email you the address of the location and directions.
See you March 8th-- BLT
http://www.betterlucktomorrow.com
as a kid, did you ever play by yourself and pretend to be multiple people? yeah.. me too.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Wednesday, February 19, 2003
hmm.. so i haven't felt like blogging in awhile, but now that i feel like it, i don't know what to say. things have been kind of random and crazy in the past few weeks, and i've been super busy with all sorts of stuff. not as busy as during winter vacation, but a different kind of busy, because i have more school, cki and less work (whoa.. do i just say the same thing over and over again in all the "different" blogs?).. wow.. i'm lame.
last week was the same 'ol same 'ol. i went to my classes, did circle k stuff. i tried to register for my classes (whoa.. my last quarter.. sad!) but i didn't even know what classes to take. and a lot of the classes i want to take, you have to be approved for. how lame. but i really would i could get into singing for actors... that would rock. friday was valentine's day, and i stayed up all night doing homework and circle k stuff, then went to class, and then worked the basketball game. hey.. i figure if i have no big plans, i might as well make myself busy so that i don't have to think about it eh? the game was sad because the guys lost... but cameron told me they won on saturday against dominguez hills... so that is good, too bad i wasn't there to see it. Saturday was the fashion show. i don't want to say it was lame, because it was good for our first try. but it just sucked a little because hardly any of the members went (and we had no audience) and it was really short. i didn't even expect it to be as short as it was. but that's one of the drawbacks of ucsd... that we go to a nerdy school.. ahah.. where everyone needs to study, or they just go home on the weekends. and it's hard to draw people to an event where there is no drugs or booze. hahah.. jk. that night we went had a cki "social" shopping, dinner and a movie. it was a good time, except i skipped out early on the movie to go see angels in america, a play for my class. it was pretty good.. there was even a naked man!! (my virgin eyes!) and it was funny because one of the scenes we did in my acting class sophomore year was taken from angels... so it brought back memories...
after i got out of the play, i got this message from sakura saying how she was lost, and out of gas, and how she was going to die, and for me to call her back. i FREAKED OUT... and called her but she didn't answer.. (because i learned later her cell phone died). i promptly started calling everyone and their mother to try and find out where she is, and felt so retarded.. and then she called me and told me she got home okay.. but we laughed at how retarded i am. haha.. she came over and we hung out and watched sex in the city. yay. sunday was a super marathon day where we worked on the scrapbook, and i did MRP stuff. yikes.. it takes forever and a day. monday.. i had to work in the morning and i was SO tired after i came back.. i napped and then board meetings and budgets and agendas oh my. today is tuesday.. and it's just been class and circle k. whoo hoo. i came home and vegged because i was tired of dealing with people. people can be really dumb sometimes, and i hate the fact that some people can be so ignorant, and try to infect other people with their stupidity. ugh. so i watched 3 hours of sex in the city, the did tae-boxing.. (yeah i know.. billy blanks you love him) and then darrin's dance grooves.. hahaha.. yes.. we're bored individuals.
a few last things. at cki meetings, when i talk and ramble on and try to move through the agenda, i always feel so lame. like people are just sitting there listening to me talk with these pained expressions on their faces. i get no responses when i try to ask them questions, and i just feel stupid.. like why am i even trying. but i guess that's typical of most people who run meetings. meetings are just plain boring. or maybe it's just me. oh well.. only like six weeks left?
and... a week ago or so.. i went to friday's to get my reward for my seven hours of cki meetings. it was also a big excuse to "bump" into a certain person. because i am a huge lame retard and a loser.. and impossible as well. and so i did "bump" into that certain person. we chatted for a big.. hugged (which of course left me lingering) and in the end i got said person's cell phone number (i don't know if it's the right one though.. hahah). this should be seen as a great thing.. although i feel like it's just another opening to be shot down. needless to say i haven't called because i hate rejection, i'm super busy.. and really i don't know what i would say. i have it tacked up on my bulletin board just as a reminder that i have it.. like some sort of trophy for some small triumph. but i can't bring myself to do anything with it... because of my huge lack of self esteem. i don't even know why i'm posting this for the world to see, for all the 6 people who read this anyways. but i guess i just needed to.. i dunno.. be retarded. where i've been told i either need to do something about it, or move on.. i can't do either. because the rejection would be too hard to handle, and the possibility of something could always happen is exciting. and in my own weird loserish way, i justify it by thinking it's like having a crush on a movie star. something that's totally unattainable, but fun to joke about anyways. i don't know. i was walking this girl in my class, who's super cute.. and smart, and we were chatting about how she'd go to restaurants and always get things for free. and today, this other guy in our class was like.. "jean.. why don't you hook me up?" i laughed but he was totally serious. and i sat next to her as 5 more guys flocked around her. and then i just sit there, wallowing in my own self pity, wondering, how come i can't be one of those girls. haahaha. okay.. you should have stopped reading this like 35 lines ago.
last week was the same 'ol same 'ol. i went to my classes, did circle k stuff. i tried to register for my classes (whoa.. my last quarter.. sad!) but i didn't even know what classes to take. and a lot of the classes i want to take, you have to be approved for. how lame. but i really would i could get into singing for actors... that would rock. friday was valentine's day, and i stayed up all night doing homework and circle k stuff, then went to class, and then worked the basketball game. hey.. i figure if i have no big plans, i might as well make myself busy so that i don't have to think about it eh? the game was sad because the guys lost... but cameron told me they won on saturday against dominguez hills... so that is good, too bad i wasn't there to see it. Saturday was the fashion show. i don't want to say it was lame, because it was good for our first try. but it just sucked a little because hardly any of the members went (and we had no audience) and it was really short. i didn't even expect it to be as short as it was. but that's one of the drawbacks of ucsd... that we go to a nerdy school.. ahah.. where everyone needs to study, or they just go home on the weekends. and it's hard to draw people to an event where there is no drugs or booze. hahah.. jk. that night we went had a cki "social" shopping, dinner and a movie. it was a good time, except i skipped out early on the movie to go see angels in america, a play for my class. it was pretty good.. there was even a naked man!! (my virgin eyes!) and it was funny because one of the scenes we did in my acting class sophomore year was taken from angels... so it brought back memories...
after i got out of the play, i got this message from sakura saying how she was lost, and out of gas, and how she was going to die, and for me to call her back. i FREAKED OUT... and called her but she didn't answer.. (because i learned later her cell phone died). i promptly started calling everyone and their mother to try and find out where she is, and felt so retarded.. and then she called me and told me she got home okay.. but we laughed at how retarded i am. haha.. she came over and we hung out and watched sex in the city. yay. sunday was a super marathon day where we worked on the scrapbook, and i did MRP stuff. yikes.. it takes forever and a day. monday.. i had to work in the morning and i was SO tired after i came back.. i napped and then board meetings and budgets and agendas oh my. today is tuesday.. and it's just been class and circle k. whoo hoo. i came home and vegged because i was tired of dealing with people. people can be really dumb sometimes, and i hate the fact that some people can be so ignorant, and try to infect other people with their stupidity. ugh. so i watched 3 hours of sex in the city, the did tae-boxing.. (yeah i know.. billy blanks you love him) and then darrin's dance grooves.. hahaha.. yes.. we're bored individuals.
a few last things. at cki meetings, when i talk and ramble on and try to move through the agenda, i always feel so lame. like people are just sitting there listening to me talk with these pained expressions on their faces. i get no responses when i try to ask them questions, and i just feel stupid.. like why am i even trying. but i guess that's typical of most people who run meetings. meetings are just plain boring. or maybe it's just me. oh well.. only like six weeks left?
and... a week ago or so.. i went to friday's to get my reward for my seven hours of cki meetings. it was also a big excuse to "bump" into a certain person. because i am a huge lame retard and a loser.. and impossible as well. and so i did "bump" into that certain person. we chatted for a big.. hugged (which of course left me lingering) and in the end i got said person's cell phone number (i don't know if it's the right one though.. hahah). this should be seen as a great thing.. although i feel like it's just another opening to be shot down. needless to say i haven't called because i hate rejection, i'm super busy.. and really i don't know what i would say. i have it tacked up on my bulletin board just as a reminder that i have it.. like some sort of trophy for some small triumph. but i can't bring myself to do anything with it... because of my huge lack of self esteem. i don't even know why i'm posting this for the world to see, for all the 6 people who read this anyways. but i guess i just needed to.. i dunno.. be retarded. where i've been told i either need to do something about it, or move on.. i can't do either. because the rejection would be too hard to handle, and the possibility of something could always happen is exciting. and in my own weird loserish way, i justify it by thinking it's like having a crush on a movie star. something that's totally unattainable, but fun to joke about anyways. i don't know. i was walking this girl in my class, who's super cute.. and smart, and we were chatting about how she'd go to restaurants and always get things for free. and today, this other guy in our class was like.. "jean.. why don't you hook me up?" i laughed but he was totally serious. and i sat next to her as 5 more guys flocked around her. and then i just sit there, wallowing in my own self pity, wondering, how come i can't be one of those girls. haahaha. okay.. you should have stopped reading this like 35 lines ago.
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
circle k has enveloped my life..
i don't know whether that's a good thing or bad thing.. but i do know it's 4:37am and i'm still up doing my homework. yuk. i spent yesterday and today doing circle k stuff, sitting through 7 hours of different sorts of meetings, preparing for meetings, making agendas, talking to people about circle k stuff, thinking about what's coming up in circle k. yikes.. it is insane how much of a circle k nerd i am. (and the scary thing is that there are even bigger circle k nerds than me out there!!) today i prepared for the meeting when i realized there was a recognition thing due this saturday, which is not simple and requires letters of rec and hour tabulation in order to even nominate someone. ugh. so yeah.. i have to count up all the hours so that i can ask people to write letters of rec. my secretary can't do it because she has an 8am class, and a volleyball game tomorrow night... so guess who volunteered to do it. i really need to learn how to delegate better. anyhoo.. i thought it wasn't bad because for my class, although i have reading, i always get by with not doing it.. haahaha, i thought i only had to do my prompt book and write a 1 page paper. sounds easy right? nope.. i just spent the last 5 hours doing my prompt book. *sigh*
but yeah.. elections are in only 2 weeks. that seems so scary. i only have 7 weeks left in my term. and just like last year, as much as i gripe and complain about it, and celebrate how soon it will be over, i'll still miss it when it's gone. it's scary to think that these people are going to come and replace you, and you hope that they'll do a good job.. but you never really know. the ones that you think will do a good job suck, and the ones you aren't sure of sometimes amaze. sometimes.. and then there's that just run everything in to the ground. but in any case circle k will live to see another day.. we hope. (or at least some of us.. hahahahah) nominations were crazy today, and technically i have 7 (yeah.. SEVEN) people running for president. but the members went on a nominating frenzy, and everyone just said they'll think about it... but i feel like a majority of them will decline.. i just hope not all of them. and then i think maybe they just all said yes because they're scared to say no? to me? i don't know.. i'm "witty" and "sarcastic" and that nickname "mean jean" i got, was a joking term, but people who don't know me well, i honestly think that i'm mean. i'm really not, i'm a nice girl. i promise. but what.. these people who got nominated say yes only for a fear that i'll come after them in the parking lot after the meeting because they won't run for my position? i don't know.. i swear i try to be as non-threatening as possible. but with the power and position of making things happen and bringing things into order... you also play the bad guy. i dunno.. maybe i expect too much.
i also have been wondering how my life would be different (and better or worse) if i had run for governor last year.. and either won and this year i would have been gov. or lost and this year i would have had no position. our club board would probably be a lot different... and my life would either be real busy or not so busy at all. but i guess there's not use thinking about it.. but it's another one of those grand "what-if's." i've set myself up in a good position to run for another position for next year...which makes me sad because there's so much that i'd like to do and experience.. but i refuse to be one of those people who are in circle k for eight years, especially if i don't even need to go to school anymore!! but it's like my feeling like i didn't get enough out of college, like i never went to the gym enough, didn't use AS resources as much as i could have, did go abroad.. all those things that are so easy while you're in school, and so hard once you're not. eh.. but anyhow.. i have to go write my one page and then do that circle k stuff. and it's now 5am. at least i have class at 2pm.. although tomorrow is a full day.. class, sdsu meeting and then budget stuff with sakura. at least i get to hang out with MY honey.. (that's right manny...)
i don't know whether that's a good thing or bad thing.. but i do know it's 4:37am and i'm still up doing my homework. yuk. i spent yesterday and today doing circle k stuff, sitting through 7 hours of different sorts of meetings, preparing for meetings, making agendas, talking to people about circle k stuff, thinking about what's coming up in circle k. yikes.. it is insane how much of a circle k nerd i am. (and the scary thing is that there are even bigger circle k nerds than me out there!!) today i prepared for the meeting when i realized there was a recognition thing due this saturday, which is not simple and requires letters of rec and hour tabulation in order to even nominate someone. ugh. so yeah.. i have to count up all the hours so that i can ask people to write letters of rec. my secretary can't do it because she has an 8am class, and a volleyball game tomorrow night... so guess who volunteered to do it. i really need to learn how to delegate better. anyhoo.. i thought it wasn't bad because for my class, although i have reading, i always get by with not doing it.. haahaha, i thought i only had to do my prompt book and write a 1 page paper. sounds easy right? nope.. i just spent the last 5 hours doing my prompt book. *sigh*
but yeah.. elections are in only 2 weeks. that seems so scary. i only have 7 weeks left in my term. and just like last year, as much as i gripe and complain about it, and celebrate how soon it will be over, i'll still miss it when it's gone. it's scary to think that these people are going to come and replace you, and you hope that they'll do a good job.. but you never really know. the ones that you think will do a good job suck, and the ones you aren't sure of sometimes amaze. sometimes.. and then there's that just run everything in to the ground. but in any case circle k will live to see another day.. we hope. (or at least some of us.. hahahahah) nominations were crazy today, and technically i have 7 (yeah.. SEVEN) people running for president. but the members went on a nominating frenzy, and everyone just said they'll think about it... but i feel like a majority of them will decline.. i just hope not all of them. and then i think maybe they just all said yes because they're scared to say no? to me? i don't know.. i'm "witty" and "sarcastic" and that nickname "mean jean" i got, was a joking term, but people who don't know me well, i honestly think that i'm mean. i'm really not, i'm a nice girl. i promise. but what.. these people who got nominated say yes only for a fear that i'll come after them in the parking lot after the meeting because they won't run for my position? i don't know.. i swear i try to be as non-threatening as possible. but with the power and position of making things happen and bringing things into order... you also play the bad guy. i dunno.. maybe i expect too much.
i also have been wondering how my life would be different (and better or worse) if i had run for governor last year.. and either won and this year i would have been gov. or lost and this year i would have had no position. our club board would probably be a lot different... and my life would either be real busy or not so busy at all. but i guess there's not use thinking about it.. but it's another one of those grand "what-if's." i've set myself up in a good position to run for another position for next year...which makes me sad because there's so much that i'd like to do and experience.. but i refuse to be one of those people who are in circle k for eight years, especially if i don't even need to go to school anymore!! but it's like my feeling like i didn't get enough out of college, like i never went to the gym enough, didn't use AS resources as much as i could have, did go abroad.. all those things that are so easy while you're in school, and so hard once you're not. eh.. but anyhow.. i have to go write my one page and then do that circle k stuff. and it's now 5am. at least i have class at 2pm.. although tomorrow is a full day.. class, sdsu meeting and then budget stuff with sakura. at least i get to hang out with MY honey.. (that's right manny...)
Saturday, February 08, 2003
*i haven't heard back from sea world... i'm kind of bummed.. maybe i should call? i don't know, but i always feel like it's too pushy. and also, if they want you, they call you. if they don't want you, they don't call... that's always how it is. booooooooo.
let's see.. it's february. yikes a new month.. and i didn't even turn around 3 times.. dammit!! but wow.. it's feb 8th already.. it seems like it's been going by so fast. i haven't been doing much, just a lot of class, and circle k. a little bit of work. but everything comibined is kicking my ass. on friday i was at school until 5am editing my video. i had class at 11 and got 4 measely hours of sleep and was sooooooooo dead all day. the day before i was at school until 1am, and the day before that i worked on my video for a few hours. so i swear it wasn't just because i was slacking. i came home this weekend, it's nice to get away sometimes... it's still the same 'ol same 'ol at home. but it was nice, my dad gave me this great big hug when i walked through the door. yay. i think i appreciate home a lot more now that i'm not home as often. but i do really need to find a job for after i graduate, because there's no way i could live at home again. i can't live the 12 year old life again.. but i'm not so sure if i'm ready to live the grown up life either. yikes. and one more thing.. i can't watch tv at home. haha..i feel so restricted when i have like 200+ channels at home, and here i only have like 7, it's hard to be entertained.
stup is engaged.. and at the same time where that seems surreal, it's not as surprising, just because they already live together, and all that jazz. i wonder if it's just starting, like the married life, and all my friends will start to become engaged. haha.. i feel like i'm so behind.. like.. i'm not even in that process. but 21 is super early to be engaged or married, or at least i think so. and my sister's not even engaged yet, and that makes me feel a little better. but.. sometimes i feel like i'm going to be a spinster for life. with my dogs.. or cats.. i haven't decided yet. that one got milk? commercial freaked me out. everyone tells me.. "don't worry.. it'll happen, and you'll find a good person" but like nicole says "how do you know? do you have a crystal ball? no? then SHUT UP" haha... but just a freaky thought i had.. my fortune cookie today said "have patience - it'll be worth it" or something like that. whoa..... and on another side note.. just to tell you how cracked horoscopes are... sometimes it seems like they're totally dead on.. and other times.. you spend your time searching for what they mean. but realize, that they're full of crap. hahha.. the past few days my email horoscope has been talking about partners and passionate embraces. yah.. not seeing any of that in my real life. too bad.
my stage management professor recommended me to be the production stage manager for this show in the new play festival. at the same time where's it's exciting and flattering to hear him say that he thinks i can do it, it also freaks me out to have that much responsibility (if i do it). like.. i've never done it before, what if i mess up? yikes.. i dunno. it's odd. but i might do it. and i compared it to being like the team manager... haha. if you can't be in a play, stage manage. although if you talk to my professor.. i never said those words. it's just in my case. because i suck.
speaking of things that suck... this whole cki vs. unofficial cki is dumb. and maybe you can say that i don't know enough, or that my opinion is biased.. but then again, so is everyone's. when it comes down to it... some members made a site about circle k. you can't really blame anyone for that. and maybe there's a lot of international and staff workings that i don't understand their reasoning behind it, but i think that it sucks that they're taking it so far. and that the site is down, and yet there's still this big hullabaloo. i also think part of it is because of who made the site, and that pretty much sucks too. people need to get over themselves. and that's definitely not just in this case, but in the whole overall picture of people. in the words of bring it on "shut up, you don't have it, you never will" (maybe if you were me or brianne it would be funnier) but anyways.. if someone wants to explain their side to me.. i'll be more than happy to listen. but the whole situation is dumb, and it's sad because i really enjoyed the site, and thought it could be useful, and i liked reading those posts... i'm a post reader. it's little stuff like this that makes you lose faith in things. like when you get bad service at a restaurant, you're not going to want to go there again. but it also makes me sad, because it also makes me realize you can't do anything to change it. it's this huge corporation type deal, and even if you want to make change, it seems like you can't. policy sucks..no matter where it's from. and yeah.. they're meant to keep things in order, which they do. but some of those policies are dumb and they need to shove it up their butts.
one more thing that sucks is people. haha and not the way you want them to either. but yeah.. i dunno.. i just can't believe that some people are so retarded, or so mean. and i dunno.. i consider myself a nice fun person (right? haha.. you wouldn't be reading my blogger if you hated me.. or maybe you would) but yet some people don't want to be my friends. loser. or not even that really, but like people who were my friends before, that just stop because of certain things that are not my fault. whatever.. i'm still a little bitter about that one. but with people in general, there is always a lot of backstabbing and rudeness in this world, that you really don't need to perpetuate it more. and maybe it's because you think you're better than someone else, you just want to go with the flow... but it sucks. but i guess that's life, and it happens, and you learn who your real friends are. they always told me that when you move off campus, you find out who your real friends are, the ones you make a real effort to hang out with, and the ones who make the effort back, because friendship is a two way thing. i think i need to learn early on who's not "worth it" to expend you energy on. but i dunno.. then maybe i would become the kind of people that i'm talking about if i did that. so i dunno.. which is worse, to try and be friends with everyone, or to be a snobby bitch. hhaha.. well when i say it like that. of course, i'm just rambling, and the whole world thinks i'm an idiot, but i also can't really give specific details for the whole world to read, because i'm not like that either. so.. whatever. in 10 years i'm sure none of this will matter, and i'll always wonder what happened to those people who i could never really keep in touch with, but hopefully i'll still have friends to converse with... or else that that would be a sad story.
and one more sad story.. casey told me that some grad student jumped off pacific hall at our school on friday. that's so sad that you can't really think of anything else besides that. you know? i can't imagine things really being that bad, but that's also because i'm a big weenie. i'd get to the top and just chicken out. i was never much of a risk-taker. but yeah....
let's see.. it's february. yikes a new month.. and i didn't even turn around 3 times.. dammit!! but wow.. it's feb 8th already.. it seems like it's been going by so fast. i haven't been doing much, just a lot of class, and circle k. a little bit of work. but everything comibined is kicking my ass. on friday i was at school until 5am editing my video. i had class at 11 and got 4 measely hours of sleep and was sooooooooo dead all day. the day before i was at school until 1am, and the day before that i worked on my video for a few hours. so i swear it wasn't just because i was slacking. i came home this weekend, it's nice to get away sometimes... it's still the same 'ol same 'ol at home. but it was nice, my dad gave me this great big hug when i walked through the door. yay. i think i appreciate home a lot more now that i'm not home as often. but i do really need to find a job for after i graduate, because there's no way i could live at home again. i can't live the 12 year old life again.. but i'm not so sure if i'm ready to live the grown up life either. yikes. and one more thing.. i can't watch tv at home. haha..i feel so restricted when i have like 200+ channels at home, and here i only have like 7, it's hard to be entertained.
stup is engaged.. and at the same time where that seems surreal, it's not as surprising, just because they already live together, and all that jazz. i wonder if it's just starting, like the married life, and all my friends will start to become engaged. haha.. i feel like i'm so behind.. like.. i'm not even in that process. but 21 is super early to be engaged or married, or at least i think so. and my sister's not even engaged yet, and that makes me feel a little better. but.. sometimes i feel like i'm going to be a spinster for life. with my dogs.. or cats.. i haven't decided yet. that one got milk? commercial freaked me out. everyone tells me.. "don't worry.. it'll happen, and you'll find a good person" but like nicole says "how do you know? do you have a crystal ball? no? then SHUT UP" haha... but just a freaky thought i had.. my fortune cookie today said "have patience - it'll be worth it" or something like that. whoa..... and on another side note.. just to tell you how cracked horoscopes are... sometimes it seems like they're totally dead on.. and other times.. you spend your time searching for what they mean. but realize, that they're full of crap. hahha.. the past few days my email horoscope has been talking about partners and passionate embraces. yah.. not seeing any of that in my real life. too bad.
my stage management professor recommended me to be the production stage manager for this show in the new play festival. at the same time where's it's exciting and flattering to hear him say that he thinks i can do it, it also freaks me out to have that much responsibility (if i do it). like.. i've never done it before, what if i mess up? yikes.. i dunno. it's odd. but i might do it. and i compared it to being like the team manager... haha. if you can't be in a play, stage manage. although if you talk to my professor.. i never said those words. it's just in my case. because i suck.
speaking of things that suck... this whole cki vs. unofficial cki is dumb. and maybe you can say that i don't know enough, or that my opinion is biased.. but then again, so is everyone's. when it comes down to it... some members made a site about circle k. you can't really blame anyone for that. and maybe there's a lot of international and staff workings that i don't understand their reasoning behind it, but i think that it sucks that they're taking it so far. and that the site is down, and yet there's still this big hullabaloo. i also think part of it is because of who made the site, and that pretty much sucks too. people need to get over themselves. and that's definitely not just in this case, but in the whole overall picture of people. in the words of bring it on "shut up, you don't have it, you never will" (maybe if you were me or brianne it would be funnier) but anyways.. if someone wants to explain their side to me.. i'll be more than happy to listen. but the whole situation is dumb, and it's sad because i really enjoyed the site, and thought it could be useful, and i liked reading those posts... i'm a post reader. it's little stuff like this that makes you lose faith in things. like when you get bad service at a restaurant, you're not going to want to go there again. but it also makes me sad, because it also makes me realize you can't do anything to change it. it's this huge corporation type deal, and even if you want to make change, it seems like you can't. policy sucks..no matter where it's from. and yeah.. they're meant to keep things in order, which they do. but some of those policies are dumb and they need to shove it up their butts.
one more thing that sucks is people. haha and not the way you want them to either. but yeah.. i dunno.. i just can't believe that some people are so retarded, or so mean. and i dunno.. i consider myself a nice fun person (right? haha.. you wouldn't be reading my blogger if you hated me.. or maybe you would) but yet some people don't want to be my friends. loser. or not even that really, but like people who were my friends before, that just stop because of certain things that are not my fault. whatever.. i'm still a little bitter about that one. but with people in general, there is always a lot of backstabbing and rudeness in this world, that you really don't need to perpetuate it more. and maybe it's because you think you're better than someone else, you just want to go with the flow... but it sucks. but i guess that's life, and it happens, and you learn who your real friends are. they always told me that when you move off campus, you find out who your real friends are, the ones you make a real effort to hang out with, and the ones who make the effort back, because friendship is a two way thing. i think i need to learn early on who's not "worth it" to expend you energy on. but i dunno.. then maybe i would become the kind of people that i'm talking about if i did that. so i dunno.. which is worse, to try and be friends with everyone, or to be a snobby bitch. hhaha.. well when i say it like that. of course, i'm just rambling, and the whole world thinks i'm an idiot, but i also can't really give specific details for the whole world to read, because i'm not like that either. so.. whatever. in 10 years i'm sure none of this will matter, and i'll always wonder what happened to those people who i could never really keep in touch with, but hopefully i'll still have friends to converse with... or else that that would be a sad story.
and one more sad story.. casey told me that some grad student jumped off pacific hall at our school on friday. that's so sad that you can't really think of anything else besides that. you know? i can't imagine things really being that bad, but that's also because i'm a big weenie. i'd get to the top and just chicken out. i was never much of a risk-taker. but yeah....
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