matchstick men was actually really really good. it was really well done, and a little happy, a little scary, a little funny, a little sad, and had a twist that i didn't really see coming. i'm a little unsure about the ending, but it was good :) you should go see it! afterwards benji and i went to the kettle where i ate way more omelet than i should have even ordered.. blech.

today i just chilled, slept a lot. and after not going out with my sister and mom because i didn't feel like being in their company (more retarded tiffs) carrie picked me up and we went to disneyland.. yay! i STILL didn't get to see fantasmic.. but it's okay.. i wanted to wait for nicole, who was too busy painting her living room to hang out :P, we went on all the fun rides, and i got to go on the teacups! and i won a stuffed dolphin, which was a conversation starter with lots of boys.. hahah.. we'll have to carry that thing around when we go from now on. too bad the cute one had a gf.. stupid. :P jk. then i went to the kettle (again) with carrie. i still didn't get my island hula pie.. but it's okay. i have my dolphin "skippy" now.

here's a question that i need your advice on... what do you think i should do with my jobless self.. do you think i should go back and see if i can get a job at the gap? or should i hold out and try harder to get a "real" job. i mean.. yea.. money's money.. but pro/cons.. i would nifty discounts, but would probably spend more money than i make (hah) people were right when they said that you'd get kind of depressed when you don't have a job for awhile.. your self-worth .. blah blah blah.. and but doesn't it seem loserish for a college graduate to go back to the same job they had before they even went to college? i swear i'm smart, and a good worker... hire me.

i thought i would have more entries, but i guess i'm not as much of a blog-whore as i thought. sorry to dissapoint. i haven't been online a lot.. i don't know... i guess my dawson's creek dvd's are so much more alluring :P it's been an interesting week i suppose. i did some temp work and then i had an interview and a second one.. which could be good.. but not if i don't get the job i guess.. cross your fingers for me!! it's not the greatest job.. but it's at least a start somewhere. still kicking myself about that ad agency. dang it!!

i also started doing some stage managing stuff.. it's sort of volunteer.. cuz i'm getting like a stipend, but it's not a lot, a lot. so it's kind of "do it because you want to" it's pretty cool and it's funny. everyone should come see the play in oct/nov :)

ummm.. i had a secret play date on wednesday .. it was good because we both needed cheering up. i'm glad that we went to go play ... thanks secret friend.

thursday i watched the tivo at my sister's house.. it was great. i really do need to get one of those things. then beth and ryan and i carpooled it over to west covina for michael salamanca's early birthday celebration at bj's. *happy birthday!* it was good to see to see a lot of people again.. salamanca, billings, steph hsu and everyone else.. i ate WAY too much pizza and we laughed so hard at all our sillynesses. WOMAN!! and plus salamanca feeling up ryan's boobies the entire time. and i ate all of halgren's pizookie.. oops.. thanks stephanie!

friday i had my second interview.. blah.. and then helped my sister with some of her blt promo stuff. then i came back to torrance and left frantic messages for nicole so that she could pick me up for manny's 21 year old celebration (second remix) at buca. we showed up a little late, but it was okay because everyone was just sitting down.. i guess seats got mixed up a little. but it was funny.. it was like the manny's k-family friends table.. and it was a cams/nhs mix + nicole. hahah. it was really good to hang out with familiar faces (at least for me.. i was lucky enough to know everyone there).. so we decided what to eat, chatted it up, drank a few drinks, took shots with the birthday boy, stole beth's credit cards, hit on the cute waiter and wished manny happy birthday wishes. :) afterwards we drove down to the strand and went to a bar to dance it up. aside from the spending forever to find parking it was good times. manny was have a great time freaking everyone.. and smacking some asses.. after we were done being sweaty we trotted home. but it was a good good time... a lot of fun, good food, good friends and smiles. i'm glad i could celebrate manny's birthday with him :) *happy birthday!!*

today was rehearsal.. it was alright.. same 'ol same 'ol i guess. then i watched tv, saw the end of the alabama/arkansas game, watched some tv, watched some girly movies and hung out with my dad :) yay. now i'm being DRAGGED out by benji to go see matchstick men. haha.. i'm such a brat.

so i'm not really going to publish anything because i want as many people as possible to see the blt ad, not just for the signing - but to let know them know they should go buy it. so come oct 1st (whoa.. that sounds so far away.. but it's not!) i'm going to publish and everyone's (okay.. all 4.5 of you) are going to be like "where did all these posts come from?" so now you know. i just couldn't resist blogging because things happen.. and me being the nerd that i am, i think to myself how i'll word it so it sounds fun for my blogger. yea.. i'm a huge nerd.. just like when i hear a cool song i imaging what sequence in a movie or what montage of shots i would put to that song. haha. dumb.

anyhow.. it's been alright. friday night i went to a party with my old hs friends. yay class of 99!! it was interesting because i hadn't seen a lot of people or really kept in touch. through friendster and duane's funeral our paths crossed again and we had a "going away" party for jason who's going to argentina. neat. it was good to hang out and socialize and see everyone again.. it was a lot of fun.. so i hope we get to do it again :) or that i'm invited when it happens again. har har. there was really good food that luisa's family and nancy cooked.. and lots and lots and LOTS of alcohol.. i'm sure luisa's fridge is fully stocked now and a few drunk people here and there, but good times all around.

saturday i had my kaiser eye appointment and picked out new glasses, but i had a price limit from my insurance coverage (so it'd be free) so i tried to pick out the best looking ones that fit the price range. i hope they don't make me look too nerdy.. but i hardly wear them anyways. i joked about getting those really nerdy gawdy glasses with the weird rims, or the giant old lady glasses. i tried them on, and laughed so hard i almost fell over and knocked over this stand.. the people must have thought i was like 5 years old. but anyhoo.. laters went back to hollywood to go see annie play at the acoustic playhouse. a little bit of sadness, no one was there :( and annie was a little sad.. but we made up for it in ice cream and mud pie and the funniest waiter. :) but i'm glad i went because i almost staying home. then i watched my dawson's creek dvd's that i got off ebay!! yay.. i LOVE dawson's creek. it makes me a little sad because you watch it and you see ALL the signs that joey and DAWSON are MEANT to be together... but it's a fantabulous show. *sigh*

today i went to go look at wedding dresses for my sister.. the first i picked out we all really liked.. it was purtty. :) heheh.. i have great taste.. haha. it woud be funny if that was the dress she ended up getting. hehe. i rock. but we went to the mall afterwards and tried to find some possibilities for bridesmaid dresses... it's a difficult task. but we have some time. it's an adventure. ate some good homecooked food and jeff-gu came over and we all watched the emmys. tomorrow i have a "coffee date" with these people that i might be stage managing for. but it's not really a paid gig.. just a stipend.. which is cool... i don't mean to be all materialistic, but it's a bit far to be driving three times a week, especially when i have no other job and my mother harping down my back. so i hope it's a lot of fun, it sounds like it could be. :) we shall see.

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so i was on tv today. hahahah. i went to the taping of cupid YAY!! with carol and sakura and we sat in the second row behind where lisa sat, and right behind her family. scary. but it was kind of cool. i sat next to one of her friends and she was pretty funny.

sakura and carol and i drove down there.. yay carpool lane! we got "vip" seats and watched the "host" do weird dancing contests and what not. there were so many friends and family of the people from the show. it's actually taped live, which was kind of exciting. and we got to know who won before everyone else (on the west coast). brian mcfayden is hotness personified. exclamation point. but he also pointed out his girlfriend sitting in the stands. how disgusting. but he was really really cute, and i like how he is quip. it's endearing. hahah. it was odd, i predicted in what order they were going to get kicked off and i was right. haha.. i'm telepathetic! but yea. it was really interesting to watch the on-goings in the studio, the stuff they don't show on camera. but i am a production geek, so i love stuff like that. it was cute to see hank wave to his family in the audience, it was cute to see hank look like the wind was knocked out of him, and so amazed, when lisa came on stage, cute to see him make eye contact with lisa, and mouth and signal to her that it was going to be okay, it was stupid to see renda make faces when hank was saying that he didn't really think it was a competition. i bet renda really hates hank, but renda is a loser... hahah.. "i'm like a rose bud who's petals are opening up more and more"? COME ON?! and in between commercial breaks everyone got up to talk to each other, the hair and make-up people came to freshen everyone up, wipe off the tons of sweat off hank and the other guys, give them water, and lisa would talk to her family. when robert was in the final two, i totally screamed, and lisa's family was so mad. hahah. they were scared that people out there (like nicole) had voted to keep robert in, and voted for her to marry him. this one girl next to me was like "how did this happen?! i voted for hank forty-nine times!!" hahah. crazy crazy, but i guess if you know her you want whats best, and that's hank :) i sat behind her grandma, which was so cute that she was there, and her brothers. man... her brother is frikkin tall, he's ginormous! and later i was grinning like an idiot the whole time i'm sure. as we were leaving evan was standing right in front of us with his friends ("e-money!!") and talking to dominic's parents ("you know there's a half-dozen girls at my work that want your number) and we just stood there blocked as he socialized. hahaha, carrie's mad because i didn't get his number for her. hahah. should have came your self and then you could have tripped and have him catch you. hahahah. it's okay.. we'll go to his volleyball games :P so, it was cool, way funner (and shorter) than all those other tv tapings that i've been too, and it's really exciting to work in production - i hope i get to do it some day. :) thanks sakura and carol for the good times :)

so the only problem with not working is that i turn into a lazy blob.. and that i am broke. i didn't go to work because my parents and i got into a fight about what i'm really doing with my life, and they wanted me to find a "real" job (my mother wants me to work for the school district and my dad wants me to work for the city.. surprise surprise) and that the wages i was getting was not worth the time and gas and commute.. blah blah blah. i easily could have said no, but i don't know why i'm not resisting. i want to get a "real" job, but i also just wish it would land in my lap (doesn't everyone?) why couldn't i have been one of those people where my internships turned into job offers.. was it just the circumstances or the places i worked (as i liked to tell myself) or was it me, that was i wasn't good enough, a hard worker enough. *sigh* i don't know... but this finding a job thing sucks. i'm up to my ears in cover letters, resumes and "requirements" it makes me feel like i shouldn't have even bothered going to college.. i should have just started gaining experience. or like.. i should have just stuck it out at irvine and then at least i could have worked in LA or something crazy like that. damn me for not getting into UCLA or something like that... there are so many things that i would like to do over.. but then again would i have turned out the same way if i had gone to UCLA? would i have enjoyed it as much? UCLA is way more different than UCSD... but i guess i'll never know eh?

so basically that's what i did today.. sent out some resumes, emails, blah blah blah. all very uninteresting stuff. and i'm sure you don't want to hear my sob story because yours might just be the same. or at least with a ton of other people out there fighting for jobs. boo. yesterday was okay.. i watched eric pack up his stuff and move down to san diego... all my nostalgia washed over me. i don't know quite what it is about san diego that i love, maybe it's because i spent the last four years there, that i had so much freedom, that i had such free times. i feel like i know it better, where to go, what do to, because i guess i had the freedom to just let loose and hang out. here i feel so lost and don't know what there is to do - oh except for the union.. which sucks like a vacuum - NEVER going there again. thanks nicole. but a lot of times i feel like i want to move back down there, even though most of my friends are in LA.. it's so weird. i want to go back and eat $1 tacos, go to PB and go bar hopping, go work at Fox Rox, watch san diego tv.. go to the friday's that's open until 2am. work at ucsd athletic games. argh!! i need to learn to let go of things more easily.

afterwards i did laundry, attempted to clean, watched my girly dvd's that i bought and later went out to dinner with joan and jeff and the 'rents at cpk.

i saw pete's new "project" for his website and i'm in it. i feel so special.. this is even better than when he puts me in his away messages! i'm such a lucky girl.

and at the request of sakura.. here's a "better" version about our outing wednesday:
so the story begins the same.. we head of to mccormick and schmick's for our ucsd alumni "social" or at least that's what it was supposed to be. sakura picks me and carol up and we head off to el segundo and sakura takes the "scenic route" and pulls multiple u-turns getting us there :P we go in, decide we need to go to the bathroom and dilly dally going out to the social because we don't know what to expect. we go out there and get greeted by the president of the alum assoc. who looks like he's still in college and that his suit is too big for him. his hair is slicked back in an attempt to make him look older, but it just makes it worse. we sit down at an empty table, and unknowingly we've cornered ourselves off. so we just sit and the waitress asks if we want cocktails. so i don't know if it was the cheap asian in me, or the broke in me, but i ordered water.. and the waitress says "evian or peligrino" that right there should have tipped me off, but it didn't.. and we all ordered the same as the waitress made a crack at us "oh... water drinkers!" shoot.. what if we were really religious, or allergic to barley.. what a jerk. so anyways... we get our water and not until it comes in three tall bottles of evian that we're like.. "umm.. oh" so we sit there and drink our water, joke about how it's probably $5 each, laugh about how it's a social and if anyone were to come up to us and ask what we do we'd reply "nothing.", we laughed about how no one wanted to talk to us, about how we probably looked like we crashed the wrong party, and about how hungry we were. the food finally came and we went to grab some appetizers. sakura didn't want to be rude and grabbed like two items (because the girl in front of her didn't get anything), whereas i just grabbed one thing off each plate (it was so dark i couldn't see what was what.. so i thought i'd just sort it out later at the table) and carol followed suit. later sakura told us that she was shocked to see how much food we'd gotten, but bummed out because she was hungry and the platters were all empty when she wanted to go back for seconds. her bad. so we sat there for a little while longer, watched people walk in, look around for a place to sit and sit everyone except for with us. we watched the president go around to each table and chit chat with them, except for our table. so we just sat and laughed at ourselves, and probably everyone else. we joked more about the president and sakura joked about how she was going to flirt with him "so i noticed that you were standing over there looking at me," we joked about how young he was and how anyone could be president - i'm going to be president and sakura's going to be treasurer and we're going to do korean bbq's. (hah) later when we decided that we were hungry we asked the waitress for a menu. for the next 45 minutes or so we watched her flirt with the table of guys next to us who probably thought they were the coolest guys there and trying to get the waitress to drink with them and not bring us a menu. then she brought us a bill and it was like $12 (FOR WATER??!!) when she really didn't give us a choice for free water.. she tricked us.. punk. but that was partly our own faults as well, but she really wasn't a waitress, at least not to us, and we didn't get our menu, and she was stupid and mean, so i said no tip for her. sakura and carol felt bad, but i was in a ruthless mood.. i really did not like her. and then i was thinking that i wanted dessert, so i asked for a dessert menu, and of course she said she'd bring it, and of course never did. she did bring the guys at the next table two rounds of drinks. and as we were leaving the president said goodbye to us as he was hitting on one of my friends all while his voice was cracking. (i hope he doesn't read this) so all in all afterwards we went to chili's where we spent more money of food, and none on water and had semi-slow service and got offered special discounts by the guy at blockbuster "if we were nice" hah.

there sakura.. are you happy now?

it's been a pretty boring week. but what do you expect... my life is lame.

anyways.. so as i casually sip on my wine cooler and try to remember what's happened in the past week or so.... here goes:

last weekend i went to duane's funeral. it was good to see all the people there, and see people i hadn't seen in awhile (from hs) but bad because of the circumstances which we were gathered in. i didn't cry, because i'm not much of a crier, but it was sad. but it was also a bit of a "celebration" of life, because that's the kind of personality duane had. it was also weird because his family had put together a collage of all these articles and stuff online about him, and lo and behold my entry about him. i am a mess with words, sorry that i'm not more eloquent.

i missed out on going to disneyland with carrie and nicole to go meet andrew firestone (yum) because i was under house arrest (living at home sucks a lot sometimes). i was supposed to clean the upstairs because we had people coming and my mom also wants me to switch from the front upstairs room (big) to the small upstairs room (small) which also blows mad goats. i slept in the small room last night and i feel so suffocated. i also don't like the position the bed is in. ick. anyway...

the week was pretty ordinary.. not much. working as carrie's slave. although on monday i didn't have to go and so i picked up my sister from the airport, then had lunch with sakura at the loft (mmm..) and then umm.. slept all day? i can't even remember... shoot.. my memory sucks. i'm either old or i've taken too many drugs. i really didn't do much else.. slept, watched my reality tv.. big brother and cupid (it's SOOOOOOOO going to be hank.. i love him. hahahah) and cleaned a little bit here and there. wednesday i went to this fancy schmancy seafood and steak place with sakura and carol for this ucsd alumni thing. it was okay and we got a mini-plate of appetizers and paid $4 for some bottled water.. stupid waitress. she sucked so much. we didn't leave her any tip. i was so mad. i would have taken money from her if i could have. we sat by ourselves and laughed at us and nobody wanted to come by and talk to us.. we probably looked to "fresh" to be there. haha. but i saw some old friends and got their info, so that's cool :)

last night (friday) i met up with nicole in diamond bar (the BOONIES) to go bowling for carlene's birthday. i almost died on the way there though. i was in the wrong lane while trying to transfer freeways (i frikkin HATE those exchanges where the north and south exits are like a mile apart) so i slowed down a lot to try to change lanes except there were two cars next to me and in my rearview i see a car swerve to not hit me (thanks) and then got honked at as i tried to merge into the other lanes... argh!! and THEN i frikkin missed the exit especially because i didn't want to risk my life again to get to the exit but the next exit was like 2.5 miles!! and then after i got off the freeway i got lost because i was looking for a huge sign and there wasn't one. *phew* it's okay.. i went, wished carlene a happy birthday, played some arcade games and sat and talked with nicole and kathy kemp (who was up for a visit) and some friends. then we went back to nicole's to have some fun on friendster. it was fun. i drove home (without any casualties) and slept in my new cage. today i woke up late and chilled. went to this mercedes benz thing in inglewood, and although didn't get to test drive any cars, got to eat free cheesecake (yum) and see karin sing and this asian boyband "at last" hahaha.. it was interesting... but they're no *nsync.

i also went a little crazy with the spending of the money. i bought dawson's creek season 1 on ebay (YAY .. i'm going to watch them ALL when i get it. i can't wait.) then i bought 3 dvd's at blockbuster's buy 2 get 1 free sale (i should have went back to the one where the guy offered me his employee discount.. heheh) and then bought a harry potter postcard book and also wanted to buy another book at borders. then bought ice cream and wine coolers. whew... i think i'm going to go back to borders and buy that book.. it seems really interesting. i should get back into reading. hahah.. maybe i can be smart again. i think i want to go drinking sometime.. who wants to play?

happy september 11th

i got my *nsync uno cards. they are awesome.. and complete with a cd of a cool it's gonna be me remix. oh yea.

there are times when i love the comforts of home, but there are times when i absolutely hate living at home with the nagging from the parents, the restrictions, the yelling, the fighting and the tears. this is one of those times.

i don't have to work tomorrow.. yay for no more hot sweaty nasty work (who knew you could sweat when you type) boo for not being able to help carrie and leaving her all alone with the mess. i'm sorry. smile crocodile. things aren't as bad as they seem, at least you're not me.

my sister is engaged, her wedding'll be in the next year, in taiwan with a reception in la. and i get to be a bridesmaid. :P

i'm still in love with those chippendale boys. (sorry nicole.. i tried to think bad thoughts. it didn't work)

yes.. i know.. i need a life.

whew... happy september. wow.. time is passing so quickly. it's almost the time to head back to school, except i graduated, and since i don't have a job i officially have nothing to do. i can't even pretend to feel like i'm going back to school after it's started.

on thursday i didn't go to work to spend some quality time with the relatives. we ate lunch, i drove them around looking for different things- clothes/yu-gi-oh cards etc etc. it was good to just hang out and get to know them better since we hardly get to see each other. that night we cooked a big 'ol crab and short rib dinner (yum) and ate ice cream and krispy kremes. it was great.

there was a few bumps on the road to going to vegas, but we got all the kinks worked out and bright and early on friday morning carrie and i were on our way. i slept while carrie drove and we arrived at the paris hotel and met up with nicole, carlene, sonny, chelle, jen and ira and nicole's mom. we proceeded to her aunt's for some yummy food and quality movie making of air bud. that's the funniest movie that i've seen in awhile. :P funny for being so god awful. later that night we went clubbing at Venus at the Venetian and met up with pic and venus. it was a good time and there was lots of alcohol flowing through our systems which was pretty evident if you received a call from one of us screaming and yelling. if not, i'll leave it up to your imagination. :) it was good times.

the next day after sleeping a good portion of the day away we went shopping at caesar's- they had a cute boy standing at the front of a&f greeting people and modeling clothes in true a&f catalogue style ;), ate lunch at cheesecake factory, and then rested afterwards. all the while gambling here and there at a slot machine or two (or a ginormous slot machine :) ) my favorite is pulling those handle bars.. it's so fun (well.. until you lose all your money). after the naps chelle, carrie, nicole and i got ready to go see our boyfriends at the show at the rio :) it was a good time and it was kind of like a *nsync concert.. lots of screaming girls, boys dancing. whatever :) it was definitely a good time and i think there's a few new obsessions floating around. afterwards we grabbed a bite to eat at the paris cafe and then nicole, chelle and i went back to club rio and went dancing. it was a really good club and i totally enjoyed it except for the skeezy guy who tried to molest all three of us. ick. we danced, enjoyed the scenery and kept our eyes out for steve ;). we decided to make our last night in vegas a good one and so afterwards we walked around, tried to go to the after party but didn't want to pay the $20, then went to the palms- where nicole saw jamie foxx!! i just saw his entourage, then cruised the strip (in nicole's soccer mom minivan - sexy), saw the fremont experience and then came back at 6am. whoo hoo. went to bed at the sun was rising.

sunday we were leaving to beat the labor day traffic. so we checked out and then carrie and i went to go eat the world buffet at the rio (mmm). it was good stuff but it sucks that as you get older the less you are able to shove in your stomach. i feel like i'm not getting my money's worth. hahah. we waited in line for like an hour, stuffed our faces and then went over to circus circus. we relived some of our childhood and played the midway and then gambled some of our money away at the casinos afterwards. carrie drove home and we talked and listened to our new cds (who goes to vegas to buy cds? apparently we do.) and then i came home and just chilled. it was a good weekend, i wish i could have won a little more (or some money at all) but i had a good time for my first post 21 vegas trip. :)


after vegas, things are still going in full force.. life still happens even when you're not there. both happy news and sad news. my sister called last night and told us that she's engaged! :) jeff-gu proposed to her at half-moon bay and i guess she told my mom that the wedding may be in taiwan. trippy.. i know they say that crap about "you're not losing a sister- you're gaining a brother" but that's not all entirely true. but hey.. i guess we all wondered when it was going to happen, and now's the time. so congrats to her because she's happy :) i hope it was everything she had dreamed of.. and the next year will be pretty hectic i guess. hehehe.. i'm going to be a bridesmaid :P (* sigh.. always the bridesmaid.. never the bride :P)

and in sad news.. after i came back i was perusing friendster and i found out that one of my friends from high school had died. :( i feel bad for not keeping in touch more and never really knowing what was going on. i was going to send him a message on friendster, but never knew what to say..and always thought "i'd do it later" and now never got the chance :( he was battling cancer and was even in the news for being an experiment subject for using scorpion venom to cure cancer. he was an awesome, amazing funny guy who was nice to everyone and i always remember seeing a smile on his face. everyone's going to miss him.

rip
duane rualo
1978-2003