so i'm a little spooked. these near death or almost car crash experiences are happening to me a little way too often.

not cool, i tell you... not cool.

so i was driving home from vivian's house and about to go through an intersection and the light turned from red to green and as i'm driving through the intersection i hear this loud crash and see this car coming the opposite direction towards me and i realize that it could possibly hit me. hit me in the back, send me into a tailspin... yikes.

the car (like in slow-mo) passes by me and i drive through the intersection and look in my rearview mirrors. there's a truck that hasn't left yet, and a few other cars. i don't know whether i should stop, keep going, turn around... the trucks finally take off and go and i'm wondering if i should try and help. maybe i want to be more empathetic or helpful since nicole was just in a hit and run.

finally i turn around and try to see what's up, there's already a cop car there. that's good. i hover for a bit and finally park behind the cop car. i get out of my car, but the cop is in the middle of the street picking up the car's bumper out of the way. i second guessed whether it was actually a white minivan i saw fleeing from the scene, or maybe was i just mistaken. the cop isn't really paying any attention to me, so i just get back in my car and leave. i figure i can't really help. i drive away, but i'm scared. i do my usual post almost accident drive, driving 6mph and finding someone on the phone to console me.

sometimes i get scared about what i'd be missing out on in my life if i died. all the things i haven't done yet. do i hurry up and do them now? you never can tell what's going to happen to you. are all these almost accidents telling me that i should appreciate what i have? enjoy what i do have, make the most of what's going on? i know i've been questioning a few things in my life lately... maybe i shouldn't be questioning, maybe i should make lemonade out of lemons. it's all too complex for me to think about right now... but be safe my babies okay? it may not be your fault, but it could still happen to you. <3