i just dropped 2k on signing up for an editing class. umm... i'm scared. i dunno.. it's like the first "big" thing that i've done in awhile. 2k.. i hope that these classes are good. i have some room and a date that i can still drop and get a refund by if it gets too hectic.. but i'm anticipating good things. at least i hope. there's a lot of "big" changes lately. maybe i'm finally "growing up" - moving out, taking these classes.. umm i guess that's it. okay.. doesn't seem like a big deal when you list them - but i'm still scared. apprehensive. maybe i'm not actually growing up, but just finding more ways to waste lots of money all at once. i should just go to vegas and blow it all instead... oh wait - i'm doing that too :P

booooooooooooooooooooooooo.. tonight i decided to catch up on some amazing race and i realized that on the stinkin 3 tivos in this house not a single one caught the finale. in fact, two of them missed it because they were both tivo'ing lost. boooooooooooooo. i know .. my own fault because i should have checked. but i have been busy and have been catching up on the last month of tv. BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO.

i am so upset right now.

AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BY TELLING ME WHO WON BECAUSE THEN I WILL JUST BE EVEN MADDER... if i wanted to know i'd look it up on the internet. i will find the finale so i can watch it.. the anticipation kills me - but i love it. go hippies.

oh tv, let me tell you - how i love you so. when i first started this blog i titled this blog as i saw fit.. but it wasn't just a title.. but i actually meant it. is that sad? but it's so true. tv is around whenever i need it. almost the perfect friend.. i can turn it on when i want, make it go away when i'm done. sounds like a very selfish relationship huh? but tv is the one thing i can usually always count on. of course there are those bad moments when you have 500 channels and they're all crap, but everyone has an off day. you kept me company when i was little, made me happy with episodes of my little pony when my eye got poked out with an umbrella, made me smart with 3-2-1 contact and square one shows, and are always there when i need someone to spend time with me, make me feel better when i am sad, and tell me what i want to hear/see. you don't judge, you don't give me attitude, you don't get moody or mean, and when you make me cry it's just in a good way (although it still makes me feel silly). you do kill me with these season finales... you keep me on the edge in suspension... "mcvet or mcdreamy?!" "what happened to mike?" "is nathan going to live?" or the bad storylines of soaps "austin... i can't believe you friggin proposed to sami!!... idiot!" but i know it's not your fault.. and it's all in the name of good entertainment. tv you are always there when i need you, and i know why my sister is so happy that she can be your friend from taiwan too, she missed you a lot when she couldn't get in contact with you. now we have to share, but i'm okay with that.. mostly because of the time difference. you provide me with constant immediate entertainment whenever i need it, especially those times when i need it the most. you make me so happy. thank you.

"if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

my nephew is cuter than your nephew



my mom left for taiwan today.. i'm so jealous!! i want to go. i know she's not just going for socializing and hanging out - but she still gets to go away and be in taiwan and enjoy all the fun, food, shopping, family that all comes with it. hahaha.. but then there's that humidity.... bleh :P but it'd totally be worth it. jake is starting to crawl and eat foods... and i'm totally missing out. boo!!!

i've stayed up until right now to catch up on grey's anatomy. for one reason or another i haven't watched a whole lot of tv lately and i have a couple weeks of episodes to catch up on. i guess i decided tonight was the night i wanted to do it. well.. round 1 at least. now i'm debating whether i should even go to sleep or if i should just get some other stuff done. i don't know why i am feeling so restless and i know i will be absolutely useless at work tomorrow - but i guess that's not much of a change from how i have been lately. the best term that i can use to describe me lately (and i'm sorry if this offends anyone) but is "checked out" i've checked out of work, checked out of caring about keeping up with stuff, i wait until the absolute possible last minute where i have to do stuff to do it - but then it's only because i have to, not because i have any desire. i don't know what my deal is. i have almost no interest in anything. i have my moments - moments where things are shiny and happy - but it just seems odd that i come back here - when i seem to have so much going for me. am i just being melodramatic? or have i spent all the other times just pretending?

i ran into an old roommate at the grocery store today. she was ... not at all excited or interested in talking to me. that makes me a little sad. was whatever i did to her so horrible that she couldn't even feign interest. but i guess she was never that kind of person. you won't mesh well with everyone, but i do like to try.. because i am dumb like that. there's this guy on myspace who we used to be friends, not best friends, but acquaintances. why won't he be my friend on myspace? why do people say they'd like to meet up, but when you actually try to make it happen they dissapear? and why are people so afraid to make friends - or maybe it's just me? i don't know why this bothers me so much but it does.

maybe i am scared of this new roommate situation. do i have time to back out? not without making a whole lot of people mad. i think i'm just a little less enthused because there was a place that i loved and we lost it. we lost it for stupid reasons. reasons that i know make sense, but i think i'm still greiving. there's another place that we'll get if we want it - but it's not the same, it's not as nice, and i think maybe i feel a little let down - but i can't do anything about it. i have to be a team player and do what's best for the team, but it sucks because i feel like the team let me down. and then i feel bad for saying that.

i was talking to this girl about coupledom today and she said that she wanted to make sure she had everything in place before she ever chose to couple up because she needed to make up herself. it's smart, and i'm not coupled for different reasons, but we talked a lot about how you don't need to be coupled. but there are times like tonight, when no one else seems to have time for you - that you wish you had someone that you could make make time for you. but truth be told, being coupled up doesn't mean that anyways.

i've been looking into taking editing classes @ ucla extension. i think my boss would let me leave early one day a week. but then i wonder if i want to blow that much money on something that i may not even want to do long term. i don't know what i want to do. is that odd? i feel like i should have it all figured out... or at least have some answers. i have none.

i know this funk is just the extreme and temporary and probably brought on by my massive sleep deprivation. i probably don't even make sense. but i want to matter. not just be a cog.

funny story - first time i saw the vet on grey's anatomy i was like "holy crap he is hot".. after watching 4 or 5 hours i realized that mcVet is chris o'donnell. i totally didn't recognize him in the first episode he appeared in. funny how i still think he is hot. i would totally pick mcVet, but i guess you can't help who you like.

happy mother's day!

my mom listening to a vm from my sister (also a mommy!)



grandma and my dad with a silly face

i know i have been uber lazy about blogging.. sorry.. i've been uber lazy about a few things.. well not lazy - apathetic? still debating if i want to post hawaii and vegas pictures. maybe a few.. but usually when i get time to blog i usually don't want to stare at the computer anymore (usually because i've wasted too much time on myspace).. hahha.. i know i'm lame. whatever...

potato chips for breakfast, champagne for lunch and apple pie a la mode for dinner... random i know... but i just wanted to say that. truthfully that's only like 15% of what i ate today.. i've been grazing all day. hah... had a ginormous dinner with mana tonight at lucille's... so good, so full, so worth it :P

i should be sleeping, but i'm glad i was able to catch ben lee on jimmy kimmel. grey's anatomy themed, so he and lara played in patient gowns sitting in hospital beds.

"please, baby, please, open your eyes, catch my disease"

it doesn't really read well, but i swear the song is cute.

one last thing: change change change: http://www.digitaldomain.com/press_release.html

boo hoo....

Blaze guts HB Pier Plaza's Baja Sharkeez restaurant

my own little world of current events.. this is probably only funny to me and three other people.. but here goes.

me: hey so are you guys eating dinner right now?
my dad: no
me: are you going out?
my dad: souplantation is closed today because all their workers went downtown.
me: hahahahhahahahahha

i'm sure you don't get it. i don't care. it cracks me up to no end. i am still laughing.