one more thing. today at lunch, we were talking about the differences between living with guys and girls. and we got into this thing where guys will punch each other and be fine. and girls hold grudges. admittedly.. i can be that girl. i try not to be, but i think consequentially, in me trying not to be that girl, i end up becoming that girl. because i don't like to talk things out, and i just like to get over them on my "own time", then end up festering and just kind of simmering.

anyways.. point of the story is that last week my dad did something to make me kind of upset. and while it was not a big eal. it was just kind of ridiculous. it made me not really want to hang out with him.. nor take him to see speed racer as i had wanted to. he didn't really seem to care that much - it's not like it was a big deal to him, but i just get kind of irritated when i had to call him today. and when i had to see him, i just get easily annoyed. this is why you don't let things fester, because they still bother you. but anyways. although my dad hasn't called me since then (this is also where i get my passive agressive non confrontational non communicative nature), he brought me a sandwich bag full of sliced apples and asian pears. then that made me feel bad. i'm still kind of annoyed, but it amazed me that somehow people can just forgive and forget so easily. and that people will tend to love you and do nice things for you, even when situations get awkward. maybe this is also where i get my "too nice" tendencies from as well. i feel like a brat, because sometimes i take things out on the who love me the most, because.. i can? i don't know. and then i get mad at them so easily because i hold them to a higher standard. how does that make sense?

please tell me it's not just me that that's screwed up. i'm pretty sure it's not just me, but i just need some affirmation.