so i really should be going to bed so i can wake up early and come right back here to work and do it all again... but i'm not. oops. i should know better, but i don't do it, and i'm about to fall asleep on this couch. would that be so horrible? i could "nap" on this couch at work, wake up and download some files, go home and brush my teeth and then drive to hollywood for the review. wow.. that just sounds sad. it's weird though - because when i get busy and work this much - i kind of get used to working so much, and not hanging out with people. so much so, that it seems overwhelming when i have to socialize. it's like those kids who get locked in closets. what is also dumb and weird is that every so often i realize that the world just goes on without me and get a little sad about it. i'm like "oh wow, you have this whole relationship and i have no idea what's going on." or "your sister came and visited and i just totally missed it." as i tend to dwell in the past, i've been thinking about how life has changed in the past few years. where i've lived, what i've done, what i've accomplished, who i've hung out with, and where i am now. there is no conclusion really, or point, i just spend a lot of time thinking about it. (is this what happens when you get closer to being older?!)

anyways.. the reason why i came to blog is because i just wanted to write about the day. as we are trying to deliver this show, (that we were supposed to deliver a few weeks ago), this week has been a little crazy. people are getting testy, high strung, a few arguments have ensued, sometimes strongly worded emails and flown across. funny enough, i don't think i've cried this week. a few times i've wanted to, but haven't. a few times i've yelled, walked around, swore words (i told myself to stop with the outbursts as work.. but i just can't help it), but haven't cried. maybe that's an accomplishment. maybe i'm building up this thick skin they say you need or something. today i:

1. left work at 3am, returned at 9:30am
2. bought a breakfast sandwich that i ate two bites of and didn't eat all day and just threw away. sad face.
3. got yelled at, twice, before noon.
4. witnessed my boss yell at the head of production, and then hang up on in the next conversation
5. got bay cities and then only ate half of that
6. downloaded over 5000 files in a few hours, i heart you Aspera.
7. had strong words with this line producer, and continued to gripe LOUDLY about her for a few hours. that probably wasn't so professional
8. figured out someone tried to tech fix something they never finaled... lame.
9. discussed with everyone how the man-in-charge keeps using this word incorrectly, but keeps saying it like he's so smart and no one wants to correct him. i offered up a dollar to anyone who told him he was using the word wrong.

despite all that, it hasn't been a "bad" day. maybe i've learned how to let things go easier, maybe i don't care anymore, maybe i'm done feeling. at least with this for now. okay fine.. that's not true. maybe i'm just trying not to be so boo hoo woe is me, because i've realized how annoying it is when other people talk about how much things suck, how much work they have to do, and just generally be so negative all the time. i'm trying to work on that... in the work context at least.