Okay, so maybe I don't have a "real" reason why today sucks and posting the story about how Jaymie's birthday was a sort of giant FAIL would probably be more interesting, but I don't have the energy for that - so I'm going to just kind of whine in the attempt it makes me feel better.

Two days ago I worked 31 hours straight... it kind of wiped me out. I guess I sort of expected it, and it's not the first time I had pulled an all nighter, but I definitely passed out the second I hit the bed, and maybe even a few times at my desk sub-conciously. I slept from 5pm-10pm, and then had some QRT and them slept for like 9 more hours. Should have been good right? Except today I was still massively sluggish and had a major headache. You could say I was still exhausted, or that I slept too much. Either way, today wasn't the funnest, but there was work to be done, along with our holiday party. That was fun, but I am beginning to feel more and more awkward in social situations, and a little more distant. I find myself not really wanting to talk to new people, for the simple fact that I feel like I have NOTHING to say. Or sometimes people just annoy me. Everything seems like a task or a chore, and that annoys me too. I don't know what is wrong with me, that I got to be like that. I think I need help.

Today was my mom's birthday, and I called to wish her a happy birthday. I know people don't like to make big deals about their own birthday, but when I want to make a big deal about yours, I want you to let me. She didn't want to go out, or do anything, and was kind of being a grump about it. But I know she still wanted to, so of course I went home. Except I was trying to finish up some stuff, and didn't leave work until 8pm. Stupid. That was dumb of me. So I was stressing out about not being there in time, and all this other nonsense, especially because I know my mom is crazy and while she didn't want to make a big deal about her birthday, she still really wanted me to be there and have dinner with me, and I totally failed at that. And when I didn't think it was that big of a deal, I realized my mom had gotten kind of dressed up in a nice sparkly sweater to go out to dinner with me. I SUCK.

Got home and my dad had already made dinner. I felt bad because I was late, I felt icky because I was tired, and just... bleh. I ate some, listened to my mom talk on the phone, and I was bored. I felt kind of bad because we should be hanging out, or spending quality time with my parents - but we don't do that. My mom sits on the phone or watches TV, my dad plays card games on his computer, and I.. sit. there. Which sometimes I don't mind, and other times, I just really wanted to be at home sleeping. What also makes me sad is that my dad went out and bought a cake that my mom really likes, and an angel cookie to put on top, and my mom just kind of shuts him down because she's mad at him for other reasons. Doesn't really want to talk to him, doesn't want to take pictures with him, and that's also hard to see a relationship deteriorate like that. It's sad. It makes me sad. I also realized that we should have made a bigger deal about it, it's my mom's 60th birthday and all, and I showed up late. I SUCK EVEN MORE. Anyhoo, we ate cake, I yawned a few more times and my parents sent me home.

I also stopped at Best Buy after work, because I got an email saying my Rock Band 2 was available for pick up, but the line was too long, and I was already late - so I left. Grr. On my way back to the apartment, I realized that it was holiday hours and Best Buy could still be open, so I went to pick up my Rock Band 2 and the girl couldn't find it. UGH. I waited around, searched the store, and she still could not find it. Then she tells me the computer system is messed up and although they have none there, the computer sent me the email anyways and there's nothing they could do. WHAT? LAME. I find out where there might be some at other stores and literally wasted 1/2 hour of my life. For some reason it just pushed me over the edge and just makes me really angry. I hate when things don't go right.

I also have been slightly stressing out about something else that didn't seem to go right. I know it's not something I should be worrying about, but I dwell, cuz that's what I do. I'm a dweller. POOP.

Bright side of today... I got a bunch of screeners from work. Movie watching here I come.

Cake courtesy of my dad

I shouldn't have added that last line.

So I just got home from work a little bit ago. Is this looking to be a trend of days to come? I don't think so. It's funny how my new hours are pretty chill and I wonder how they're going to get such a big event done in just a few short weeks, but everyone is really pleasant and gets mad at me when I stay past 7pm or come in too much before 10am. Yea, that weirds me out, too.

Tomorrow we have a launch, so I had to construct a bunch of sites. True, I could have been doing them last week instead of facebooking, but I didn't have the proper info. Hindsight, 20/20. We stayed until late, my boss refused to leave without me and tomorrow we've been ordered to not come in before noon. I thought about coming in at 10 anyways, because I am totally capable of doing it. But who wants to me THAT girl? Not me.

The point of this blog mainly was that tomorrow, I know that they'll be really appreciated of the work we did and won't be shy in showing it. Tonight, when it was late and people we're tired and there was still a lot to do, nobody snapped at anyone. Everyone helped each other, nobody tried to look better than anyone else, and there wasn't anyone creating really negative spaces or energy. I realize even more now how important that is. People can be pleasant, but it's the people who are genuinely pleasant when the going gets tough are the ones everyone always want around. Keep that one in mind.

Good night!

Working on the third floor near a giant picture window isn't so bad. I just need to figure out how to get this for my bedroom view.

sometimes you just need a little pick me up:

jay: um you didnt tell me the time you picked her drunk ass up when she was with a guy you liked that it was Mv1.0
me: oh.. embarassing
me: did i tell you that?
me: did she tell you this?
jay: she told me
jay: she told me that's how awesome you are
jay: i was like, i know
jay: how awesome jean is and i heard that story
jay: and honestly
jay: you can do way better than Mv1.0

spaz: look at what I found!
spaz: [redacted]
me: hahahahah
me: stalker!
spaz: [redacted]
spaz: [redacted]
me: OMG.
spaz: [name redacted] is still f*cking boring!!!
me: LOL
spaz: you're welcome.

I would even spend my very last text messages on you. - aki

<3

So this day gets even better. I went to the wrong place on my first
day. I must seem like the biggest tard ever.

Who wants to hear a funny story?

So I was loading my computer into my car and foolishly I locked my
keys in my trunk. Awesome. Did I mention it's the first day at my new job? So now I'm watching this triple a guy tear away at my car trying to open and unlock the door, but he can't. So, for one thing I should be thankful that it's not that easy to break into my car, but it's a little painful to watch him jam his sharp toothy tool down the door to unsuccessfully unlock my door. Funny enough, the whole time the alarm
didn't go off. I guess I should be kinds thankful for that too.

Aaaand he just left because he said it was too hard and he can't do it. Awesome. I called triple a again and they said they're going to send someone more skilled who should be able to do it. Next time send that guy first okay? I guess it's actually time to invest in a spare
key. Meh.