I absolutely do not want to do my paper. Which is never really a surprise to anyone.. umm. except that it's due in 6 hours or so and I have no clue what I'm going to write about. umm.. yeah. So I decided to procrastinate some more and blog. haah.. maybe I work better under pressure. Anyways.. So on Saturday I work at a 9 hour Swim Invitational using the new equipment. Which was fun and all and makes my job easier, but the day of the swim meet, during the meet is not a good time to see if the equipment works. Remember that. Anyways.. went home and was supposed to write my paper, and nope.. I didn't, talked to people online, cleaned my room, watched some tv, burned a cd, re-organized my room, washed my clothes... everything but the paper. :P

This morning I woke up to go to CKI South. I was a little late, but not later than Sean, who we had to wake up, and then wait for, only to have him decide that he wanted to drive himself to LA! oh my gosh.. anyways.. there's going to be some heavy fining involved on Monday. Sakura and I ran around like idiots shoving fliers for Maquerade Ball in everyone's faces. and our entire team ran around Columbia Park ran around cheering for ourselves like idiots.. hah.. oh yeah.. and making fun of Hailes because we put him on the SDSU team and kept telling him to "not try as hard" it was a good time. I wish more of our general members went so that they could have seen this side of Circle K... but you know what? UCSD WON FIRST PLACE!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! We're all so competitive, we were just like.. "we wanna win" But we did, so that's good! When we didn't get second or third, Sakura and I started thinking we got first and not really sure, and our hearts were beating so fast, and then we laughed at ourselves for being such losers. But we won, and we screamed and cheered for ourselves (again). We're such nerds. Anyways.. then we ransacked our houses and my neighbors houses for donations to give to the victims of 9:11. And I met some of my neighbors, who can be quite scary. Ask me about one of the "anti-terrorism" shirts my neighbor was wearing. Yikes. Then some people went to the Loft to eat, and then I went home... chillaxed with my parents a little bit, and then slept all afternoon. I woke up at midnight and tried to read for my paper, and then got the "you have too many extra-curricular activities and don't spend enough time on school" comments from my mom. Finally at 3am I decided I wasn't getting anything done so I drove back to school with my worrisome mother loading me up with lots of "make sure you get home safe" tools. :) So here I am 3 hours later... no further than I was.. but I do have a 6 pack of Mountain Dew... hmm.. wish me luck.

so I'm kinda excited.. I just found out it was Daylight Savings.. so we get to "fall back" and I get another precious hour of sleep before I drive to Torrance for CKI South. yeah.. instead of going straight to bed rejoicing my 1 hour of sleep. I waste more of my time since I apparently have more of it. I'm a moron. That's all I wanted to say..

the last couple of days have been interesting days to say the least. Wednesday.. I had the absolute worst night of my life. I woke up completely tired because I had like a half an hour of sleep. Went through the day, slept through my classes (haha), and then ran errands for Circle K. I had to fight horrendous trafiic, and then went to Party City. On the way home, Sakura and I thought we'd have enough time so that we could get home in time to watch Felicity. That is.. if I HADN'T GOTTEN ON THE FREEWAY GOING THE WRONG WAY. Yeah.. I went North instead of South.. dumb me. And I was running out of gas. (greeeaaat) So I get gas, and then get on the right freeway and think everything's over. But no... I go over to pick something up, and the night kinda goes like this: I have a talk that I don't want to have with someone, that includes tears and "stern" language and no result whatsoever, then being double parked behind so I couldn't leave and go home, which is all I wanted to do at that point, getting in a fight with a friend's boyfriend, but finally I did get to go home. yay! but I got home way late, and still had mucha tarea to do.. so I tried to do it as much as I could until I felt like I was going to pass out, and then did. Unfortunately that only left me with a couple hours of sleep. Woke up feeling like shit the next day.... and while walking to class my insides and outsides all hurt at the same time. I almost started crying.. (poor poor pitiful me)... Anyways.. got through that day.

Today.. I was restricted to going to my morning class by Vivian who said I need sleep for my own health and well being, and so I slept until my afternoon engagements and classes. Then tonight I went to two friends' 21st birthday party! It was a really good time, and I got to hang out with some cool people. It was a lot of fun, except for worrying about friends who were way too drunk and getting puked on in the car ride home (yuck!)... but I just hope all of my friends are going to be okay... I know they will. Anyways.. I think it's amazing how I still have so much clarity when I'm "tipsy" I have mad skills. haha.. anyways.. I have to work tomorrow morning... I hope I'll be okay. :)

Heehe.. I think it's funny how in my last blog I talk about not having an internet connection.. AND NOW I HAVE ONE! Yeah! I am now a proud user of Dial-Up! Whoo hoo! Me and Nicole rock. hha.. Anyways. Thanks to Jeff Lan.. who spent multiple hours to try and fix the two modems I already had (with no drivers..:P) but ended with us just buying a new one from Fry's (why my cashier was the nerdiest boy ever who looked/talked/acted like he was born in Fry's) *gosh. I'm such a jerk.

Anyways.. Let's see.. since the 16th... umm.. yeah I had the week from Heck last week. I had a midterm on Monday, that of course I didn't do the reading until Sunday night because I'm a procrastinator extraordinary. And then on Tuesday, when I think I'm safe, I find out I have a midterm on Thursday (although I really should have known well before that.. oh well), so I try to study for that, but yet it doesn't start until Wednesday either... or more like Thursday morning.. (I took a nap and it lasted longer than expected... just my luck) and so I did that, and I think it went pretty well though. It was a heck of a lot more useful that stupid Mexican Television Trivia. BLAAAHHHHH! so yeah.. Friday I went to Horton Plaza with Vivian, Jason and Sakura. Sakura and I tried to get donations for Masquerade Ball.. and we ate Mongolian Noodles at the mall.. mmm.... so what I was craving. And then proceeded to shop for Jason's new wardrobe in an attempt to make him "cooler." Yes.. that's really what we were doing.. honest! And I'm damn good at it too, I didn't work at the GAP for nothing.. I'm good with fashion dammit. Anyways.. then went to Carli's to bake brownies and got harassed by Hailes. (ew) and went home extremely exhausted, on to wake up the next morning to work the CCAA Cross Country Finals. I admired these fools who can run 3-5 miles, uphill, downhill in the woods in tiny little shorts in less than 30 minutes. It's amazing.. something I wouldn't be able to do if my life depended on it! Crazy. Anyways.. talked to Angelee.. dude.. I love that girl, and I was supposed to go to the CAL vs. UCLA game with her, but I left to late. Oh well it was a whole case of whoop-ass brought on by UCLA anyways. Eh.. it would have been my first football game. But I guess that'll just have to wait. But honestly.. I think that all these people who have fun football teams at their school take it for granted because speaking from someone who didn't have football in high school OR college, it really kinda sucks. I always wanted to be part o fthat Varsity Blues party life.. it'd be fun.. anyways. So yeah.. drove home (and I never realized how tiring that was) and chillaxed with the parents at home. And of course inevitably getting into a fight with my mother before I left on Sunday... I feel bad, but it's just so hard to stop it. We're both so stubborn and opinionated and we both think we're being misunderstood. Yikes.. not a good combination.

Drove home... started my paper at midnight (due at 9am.) I suck dude.. and then slept through all my classes the rest of the day. Not on purpose though! I fully intended on going to chem and social force, but I slept through my alarm! Yikes.. woke up right in time for Circle K. The funniest thing happened at the meeting. The Pres and the VP had to dig in pudding for the gavel back. True, Riverside and Berkeley have done this before, but I've never seen it live. It's honestly the funniest thing ever. Sakura, Carli, Kieu and I were just standing there laughing trying not to fall over. I couldn't breathe and I started crying because I was laughing so hard. hehe.. it was great. Then went to Horton to follow up on the donations.

Today I just went to my one class, then wasted my time the rest of the day. Horrible eh? But I did make pies!! I was proud of myself.. it's good too! Chocolatte Mousse. Wanna pie? I'll make you one! Went grocery shopping with Crack Whore and wasted more time before Jeff came over to fix my ~pooter. I'm so excited.. except I hope I don't spend allll of my time online. That's bad news. I can't get addicted again.. I'm barely coming off the withdrawal. I'm on the 12th step!! Anyways.. I spent a ridiculous amount of time online tonight.. I think just to feed my addiction once to get it out of my system and hopefully it won't be too bad next time. But you know what.. tonight was interesting, I got to talk to a lot of people I haven't talked to in awhile. But also...

I think I learned a lot tonight, and I really should start putting things into perspective. I talked to some really great people who had a lot of really intelligent things to say.. it's one of those conversations that makes you go hmm.. Granted it took a 3 hour phone conversation starting at 2am (there go my 3000 minutes) but it helped a lot. Those conversations are the best. But I talked to our International Trustee.. who also happens to be the *gasp* INTERNATIONAL VICE PRESIDENT!! yes yes.. me, one of the little people had a conversation with the him. haha.. okay I'll stop now. But yeah.. he seems like a really nice guy with good things to say. I'm really glad I had a chance to talk to him and have a little bit better outlook on this year. The coolest thing though.. is that his birthday is EXACTLY one week after mine. Yeah.. I'm a nerd.. I get excited when people's birthday's are around mine.. whatever.. suck it. But yeah.. so we're born 51 weeks apart. Nice huh? And Britney Spears is born 13 days after me and her middle name is Jean.. *it's a sign! Anyways.. I talked to another friend from home for THREE HOURS about nothing and everything all at once. We talked about lot about expectations, fears, rejection, personalities, and big plethora of other things. And we both passed on the same message to each other, it that it doesn't matter what other people think as long as you yourself are content. Which is funny because we both told each other this, but have problems with it ourselves. Ironic eh? But it was a great conversation because we really understand each other, and can help each other out. But while I was talking to her and I was so angry about random stuff, that in the whole scheme of life.. isn't really that important, and doesn't matter in the long run. And I start to think why should I bother to get so upset about it. Or rather.. why do I? And then as I'm bawling and trying to speak intelligible words, I also think to myself... why am I'm crying over this in the first place.. is it all really worth it.. and I guess that's what I have to figure out. whoa .. sorry to get all philosophical on you, but I think I just needed an outlet. and here it was, so sorry if you feel into the trap.... next time I'll try to have a parental advisory or something.

Anyways.. On Monday, I also found out that MY SISTER MET JC and Chris FROM *NSYNC!!!!!! Oh my gosh.. I'm sooo jealous. She also bought me a t-shirt from the concert.. which is awesome of her. I have a great sister. :) I love her. And she shot video footage of them and Backstreet Boys perfoming... yeeeaaahhh! (she also saw the BSB praticing in their dressing room so she saw them sing acapella!) I also got that Nike bag I wanted for forever and a day. So I'm a happy camper, shoot I'm estatic. There was this really cute puffy jacket that I wanted but my mom got kinda mad. Haha.. that's what happens when you set me loose in a bargain store. BUT MY SISTER MET JC, AND TALKED TO HIM AND SHOOK HIS HAND AND THEN TOOK A PICTURE WITH HIM... OOOOOOOOHHHH MYYYY. And I'm such a dork.. I asked her if she had washed her hands yet after she shook his hand. And of course she said yes.. but am I really that psycho? I guess I am because I was screaming in my kitchen and jumping up and down. It was great. I can't wait until the pictures gets developed. First Ann meets him and take a photo, and then my sis. *next.. it's my turn! and rumor has it that he broke up with his girlfriend!! heheheheheheheh.. * Or maybe I can just take one with *Pete Holiday*.. that would be the equivalent. hahaha.

*are you amazed how i can shift from depressive-deep-thought blog to random-ditzy-teeny-bopper blog so easily? hah.. yes yes i'm multi-faceted.

Gosh.. I really haven't blogged in a long time. The effects of not having an internet connection. Anyways.. I'm always usually too tired to blog, as I kinda am right now... but after reading about everyone else exciting life, I kinda felt left out. Even Beth is blogging! *gasp*

Anyhoo.. my life hasn't been all too exciting. Mostly my l ife just consists of school and Circle K. No homework though, because we all know that I don't read. I'm illiterate. Anyways.. Tricia and I took Mania out for her birthday a weekend ago. It was a good time. We went to CPK. We have a good time when we're together. I love my friends in San Diego. Although it's kind of sad because we're so spread out now. But it was fun because all of the girls went out again for Mania's birthday again on Thursday. haha.. we like to celebrate a lot. Anyways... other than that I've just been trying to cope with school and doing my Circle K thing. One thing that makes me extreeemely excited is the fact that Amanda and Jill and Becca are so in love with Circle K. I love it that they're so excited, it makes me happy. :) Even though Amanda and Richard both fined me a dollar each for being from Torrance. What jerks. :P Anyways.. I also love it that Sakura is in the club, because we think alike on a lot of the same things, and we are always there for each other. It's great. But as I called a friend today and fell apart because I felt like I'm not doing my job, I think a lot of people are kind of feeling that way. Except for maybe a few. But honestly.. sometimes I feel like I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and partly it's because I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing! And I can't get people involved, and they don't care... but as my friend says.. it's not really my job to get people to care. I tell them about it, and if they don't want to do anything about it.. I can't force them. But still... it leaves me with that emptiness.

But also.. in terms of general life.. I feel icky because in that area I feel so lost too. Everyone seems to have their life figured out, and they know what they want to do. But I honestly have no clue. I think I'm going to grow up to be an old maid who's never been on a date and who lives with her parents for eternity. That's what it seems like right now. I told Sergi that I admired him and that I thought he was great because he totally seemed to have his life in perspective, and I think he told me that he really didn't. So I guess I wonder how many other people seem all put together but really aren't?

And then there's the question of my social life.. do I really even have one? On Saturday night I wanted to go to the soccer party, but the best directions I could get were that it was "off Governor." Granted I'm sure if I drove down the street I could probably find it, but hey... Vivian and I went to Olive Garden instead. We had a blast... it was great. But I dunno.. I think I'm in that mood where I'm throwing myself a pity party again. I just am in the middle of so many things, that I think that I'm just so utterly confused... *sigh.

Anyways.. on a lighter note to end this depressing blog (sorry guys).. I think I failed my midterm today. Haha.. you would think I would be heartbroken, but I think I just find it amusing about how little I know about Mexican television. hahah.. honestly.. even if I did learn this stuff.. how is it really going to help me in the end? Really Professor Hallin. I don't care about the commercialization of the Mexican media. booooooooooooooooooooo. But one more thing. Do you know where my sister is right now? She's in Washington DC working on the ABC special that's airing the benefit concert from RFK stadium that has *NSYNC and the BACKSTREET BOYS.. and some other people like Aerosmith, Michael Jackson.. ehh.. not important. BUT NSYNC! BSB! all I say is that I hope I get some pictures, or autographed stuff.. or some cool stuff. That would be so rad. :) I love my sister and her wicked job. :)

I'll end with the words of Beth "Joe Bussiere's so cute!" and Nicole "He's so dreamy!" (hahahahhahah.. those kids are crazy)

I honestly never thought I could be so tired in my life. Well I guess I could be... like during convention or something where we don't sleep for days.. but I'm getting some amounts of sleep, but I just wake up so stinking early to sit through classes. yuck. Anyways.. so my weekend was pretty blah. So anyways.. against my better judgement and my friends' advice, I decided to rush.. yes.. again. I dunno.. I thought maybe it would be different this year. And plus Vivian was doing it, and so it was just going to be all fun and games. But ironically enough, the same exact thing happened as last year. Weirdness... That's the second time that the same situation has happened to me two times in two years. I swear.. it's a sign. Like.. someone saying we'll put you through exactly what you went through last year so that you understand, or that you see that it's not supposed to happen. But yeah.. I got dropped after spirit night, but you know what it's okay. I really don't mind it that much. I mean.. in some ways I guess I do.. like I think it would be fun to get all the presents and go to all the dances and get all dressed up and look cute. But.. I also know that if I did that I would be so busy and even more so tired than I already am, and way too stressed out, so in the end, that's the way it's supposed to be right? And I really like what Mark said about me.. hah.. he tells Vivian that I already live the sorority girl life anyways, so I don't really need to pay to be in one. hahah. *sorry if I offended anyone.

But after rush on Saturday night Vivian and I went to Sebastian's birthday party. It was a good time and I saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in awhile, Katie Riggs, Reesa, Candise, Matt, etc... and randomly Clint and Jeff Dodge were there.. not two people I would expect to see there, but it was pleasant, and quite amusing. :) It was great. Vivian and I went home because we were way too tired, and then went to sleep. The next morning I got dropped, and then ran errands.. booo... I went to see Joe again, and chat with him a bit, and then got Stup's water bottles for my way awesome plan, and then chillaxed at Vivian's for a bit before going to the library to read for COCU. *gasp.. YES I went to the library, and YES to read for a class, and NO it wasn't because I had a test... amazing huh? Anyways.. that was good.. I've just been having a normal week, going to class, going to Circle K, and doin' my thang. yes.. I know.. I'm exciting..

plus...Stup and I are great.. we are.. true dat. yeah man.