i am SO bored right now. i'm at work and there's barely anything to do because most of Nissan is off, so there's not much computer fixin to be done, thus not much for me to do. boo. although when i have lots of work to do, i hate it because i'd rather be doing nothing at all, so i won't win either way.

i forgot to say also that i cut my hair. not real big news, i only cut off three inches or so, a lot of people didn't even notice or just didn't care, so not that anyone who reads this didn't alredy know/or cares, but i just wanted to write it for myself so that when i come back and read these i can be like.. aww.. i remember when i cut my hair that one christmas.

i also bought myself another scarf last night. yay... it's got rainbowed circles on it. it's way cute. and it was way on sale, plus my discount, so that makes me real happy. it's a nice scarf too, i already got complimented on it today :) except that everyone thinks i'm sick because i'm all wrapped up in my scarf... it's just cute people.

tomorrow it's new year's eve and i don't really have plans. i can't decide whether i want to be a homebody or go out. i don't want to hassle with crowds, but i also don't want to be lame. hmm.. conflicted.

*disclaimer: whineyness ahead.. self-wallowing pity - read at your own discretion*

also.. feeling real lame because my BA is getting me nowhere and i almost wonder why i even went to college. because i'm still working a temp job and at the gap and i could have done that in high school. i got a little excited about this assistant editor position that a friend referred me for, but they already filled it, plus he asked if i could do all these things that i couldn't.. so basically i'm unqualifed for anything. unlike most people i'm not really great at one (or more) things, i'm just mediocre at a lot of things. which doesn't really get me anywhere because although "fast learner" and "versatile" may sound like good traits, i've come to find that you need to have experience to get a job, but i can't get experience without a job, so pretty much i'm s.o.l. and it's stupid because i'm sure i'm not trying as hard as those other people who have jobs tried.. and maybe that's my other problem. that i half-ass everything. like in school when i would procrastinate like no other, and just skate through class and usually get B's... i always thought.. hey with a little bit of effort i bet i could get an A.. but i never did. it's easy to say that you're going to do better and not be such a lame-o slacker, but i have no drive or motivation anymore. it's almost like i'm quitting smoking and i keep telling myself.. tomorrow i'm gonna quit. tomorrow i'm going to not be a slacker. and then the day after will become the new tomorrow because tomorrow will be today. it's a sadistic cycle. i always thought i was going to have such a promising life... but i'll probably just end up one of those 50 year olds that works at ralphs. NOT that there is much wrong with that, it's just not what i (or probably my parents) pictured for myself. or maybe i'll eventually become a manager at the gap. does anyone aspire to do that? maybe i should just go to taiwan and teach english, or get some crappy ass job that i'm gonna hate, because that's life right? you do what you have to do, not what you want to. that sucks.