watching dirty dancing on abc family. most annoying is the cuts and the commercials. i should just go home and get my dvd... but i love love LOVE this movie so much. i can't even explain it. i'm giddy with giggles watching this movie.

"nobody puts baby in a corner!"

man oh man.. i just watched tonight's big brother episode on tivo. i have never laughed so hard when someone was sobbing... sure.. that sounds kind of mean.. but i REALLY dislike this certain alliance on the show .. "the frienship" and they were so mad when another girl got "america's choice phone call". admittedly.. the phone call was kind of dumb.. but SO funny in the fact that it made the other girl so upset. i mean.. if i hated someone and they got all the prizes, and then a meaningless phone call.. i'd be pissed too. BUT.. since the girl was crying is super annoying, it was hilarious.

watching a carson daly that i tivo'ed with michael vartan (=SO HOT) and ben lee = yay for catch my disease!! thanks to beth, kelly and isaac/pete/saba/tim/etc etc for covering and introducing me to the song :) carson daly is really funny too. when he introduced michael vartan.. of course all the girls in the audience were going crazy for him. and he's like, "You know it's funny because instinctively I just want to say like 'here's britney spears at #4.' Like when I hear screams like that, it sends me back....." hahaha.. so funny carson.

la di da.. waiting for my laundry to be done drying....

tomorrow i go back to my "normal" job instead of the substituting stint. it's a little sad because it's a different pace, different people. i'll miss interacting with the clients as much, and of course the people in the department. but of course it's not like i won't see them ever... i'll still see them everyday. hahaha.. but it's nice that everyone in my own side of the street has been missing me. hahaha.. i know.. narcissist. :)

i have to decide if i want still work at el gap-o and hockey. i mean.. more so one than the other.. just because of availibility reasons. do i want to work 7 days a week? i don't really "need" to.. but extra cash and something to do is always nice. but lounging around and being have to have free time is also nice. i should probably scale it back a bit, but i do always wish i can do everything. i have a few more days to think about it maybe. the perks, the plusses, the minuses, and the stress.

not much besides that. trying to clean stuff for the garage sale... organizing softball again.. yay menacers!! :) and pictures of coldplay are up.. not that great cuz i was pretty far. and pictures of us in hermosa and topless bull rider are up ... let me know if you want to see them (drea.. i'll email you the link so we can compare "our" girls! :P), they're hidden and password protected :P

i was watching some news of Katrina today and yesterday at work. YIKES. it makes me realize how lucky i am to live in so.cal. i've never had to deal with hurricanes/tornados/typhoons and weather of that sort. sure we have the earthquakes and the fires, but it seems like.. well. i don't want to say anything to jinx it... but i can't really imagine all of that just.... there's NOTHING that anyone can do. i don't know that many people in that area, and the ones i do know i don't really keep in touch with much anymore.. but i feel really bad for everyone out there. i heard that Katrina may be tearing up through ohio, and my aunt lives there, so maybe it will start to hit closer to home. but i already feel really bad. i wish i could do something (besides just the monetary thing)... but it's all so.. helpless. i'm at a loss for words.. sorry if i sounded ignorant.

whoo!! laundry beeped... hope it's done. see ya later gators!

i am strangely addicted to the little league world series. i told beth that i was watching it and she was like "why are you watching it?" and ryan replies "because jean loves baseball"... you know what.. that's not even it because at the same time as the LLWS was on, the new york mets vs. san fran giants game was on, and i had zero interest in watching that game. a few weeks ago i watched some women's softball.. i don't remember if it was pro or college, but that was interesting too. but baseball? i'll pass... it's really strange. i'm a little sad that they're not showing the japan vs. curacao game on network tv, since i'm in torrance and i can't watch it. oh well i guess... there's always the chamionship game tomorrow.

more cleaning this weekend. i'll have to pickup those magazine cleaning tips that beth left in my comments, but for the most part i think i just tossed them in my recycling bag. i wonder if i could make a few bucks ebaying them or something .. unearthing my teen peoples, spin magazines, yms, and old a&f magalogues.. (i forget how nekkid they are!) but my lazyness won over and i tossed them.

i found some old valentines... i remember how fun it was in elementary school. i also found a valentine from my "crush" haahha. it was when you were in the same class and you had to give one to everyone on the list.. so nothing special. but i guess i tossed all the other ones and kept the one or two that were special. this particular valentine was a multi-eyed alien and it said something like "you're gross and slimy.. just the way i like my valentines.. from jesse" hahahahha.. oh be still my beating heart.

one more thing i found were a bunch of pogs. aladdin pogs, a set from knott's berry farm and then some other random ones. i remember how HUGE pogs were. does anyone even still play them? i wonder if i could single handedly bring the fad back? haha.. right.

i had a tough time tossing away a lot of stuff. old school notes, essays, tests (especially the ones i really liked or that i did well in), old circle k and even some key club stuff. what the heck right? i know. i called sakura for support.. she's pretty good at throwing stuff away.. she told me to toss it because really.. i won't "really" miss it. and the space it takes up isn't worth the marginal amount of entertainment it provides when i read through them. i can't bring myself to throw away old notes and cards yet... isn't it like bad karma or something to throw away cards people have written you? i know.. nonsense.. but oh well.

i just checked ebay for some of the magazines i have. so not worth it to put up on ebay.. and then try to sell, and then package and ship off... my sister did buy someone's magazine that had tom cruise on the cover when she missed out.. so there is a little bit of a market... you just gotta have it up there for people to find. but it still seems like too much effort. but.. there is someone on ebay who either has made or found a purse with a side pocket where you can put your favorite mag covers, and then it's a very fashiony purse :) kind of cute... lookie here

okay.. time to pay a visit to one of my fav stores.. target :)

after all that fussing i didn't even donate blood. i waited a long time... and had to get my finger pricked.. which hurts a lot too.. but my iron count is too low, so they're not able to draw from me. in addition to all the std's and drugs in my system..... rrrright. i felt slightly better about the red cross and their operation so maybe i'll go back again after i eat some liver or something.

sorry linh!! yes yes yes.. my BEST friend from middle school linh came to eat lunch with me. i could have spent the afternoon with her if i had taken off of work.. haha.. but i couldn't do that either. but we had a yummy posh lunch at chaya and the super yummy chocolate cake dessert at the rose. no running into JT today or anything boo.. but it was super fun to have lunch, introduce her to my work and she told the ceo that my mom pays her to be my friend. awesome. thanks linh!! sorry i started working so far away.. no more carne asada fries.. boo.. hopefully we can do it again soon!

my sister is less than a month away from her expected due date... CRAZY. :) but in that good way. i'm going to be an aunt.. all of the cute baby stuff without having to deal with the not sleeping stuff. hahaha :) i can't believe it's gone by so fast...

okay.. i'm tired.. maybe they took too much blood out of me while testing the iron count.. mm.. fajitas for lunch. yay.

well.. call me crazy.. but today i'm going to donate blood. i got guilted into it by my boss' assistant. and i felt bad because their goal for sign ups was like 45 and they had 12. i found someone who hadn't signed up yet, and i knew wanted to already (because they usually donate all the time anyways) and made him be my blood donor buddy and to hold my hand and watch (laugh at) me squirm. but at least i know i won't be alone. someone asked me today if i was just doing it for the free juice and cookies. hah! like i'd subject myself to needles like this just for some juice and cookies. i'd go to diddy riese and buy a whole dozen. i've got my comfy clothes on... so hopefully it won't be too bad. i'm counting on the red cross to not be sucky at it. maybe they can just use the old holes that UCLA scarred my arm up with.. uuuggghhhh.. i'm getting chills just thinking about it now.

other random stuff... i finally finished watching beauty and the geek. yea yea i know.. how many years later. my tv watching was on hiatus while working on the projects, and as of late i haven't really been watching much tv at all. the only show i've been keeping up on is big brother because i am strangely addicted and faithful to that show. i did put beauty and the geek on dvd, but minus the first episode because the tivo had already erased it. but.. it works out well because i couldn't fit all 6 episodes and "the aftermath" on one dvd, so if i had to pick on to go it would be the first one anyways. next up for dvd recording: britney & kevin: chaotic. :) on a side note.. doesn't it look like brad "got something" from erica when he was up for elimination? hahahahah

hmm.. not much else interesting to post about, work, social functions, friends. oh! i know! last saturday sakura, angelee, and i went to union cattle and saw topless girl riding bull #2. hahaha.. good thing it was after angelee went... that is a tough act to follow! we took pictures but i don't think i'll be posting them up.. hahaha... maybe the more "artistic" ones where her hair is covering the boobs.. we went to paradise sushi for dinner that night because we didn't want to wait the 40 minutes at club sushi. but it was really really good! i'd totally go back. went to sharkeez and had a fishbowl and there was some interesting characters there including the "DA of torrance" originally from oregon or seattle or something, the old grandpa guy dancing (or trying to) with all the ladies.. he was kind of sketchy, and the drunk "mormon" guy who liked to be up close and personal. hahah. union cattle.. read above. and then to the underground. me and sakura chilled out while angelee played darts with the boys. and then afterwards it was zippy's pizza for the post bar closing snack. it was a good time, i was totally stoked to go to disneyland the next day.. but my friend was a little to sick. hah... next time.

okay .. this post is really lame.. so i'm going to cut it off now. i hope you didn't think i was "trying to hard" to sound "cool" and all about me and my "fabulous" life. hahah. i swear i'm not like that! maybe i'll have something more interesting next time. maybe.

so my car started today just fine. it shut off and started again many many times. what. the. eff.

my work is having another blood drive next week... should i donate? it's red cross this time and not those ucla know nothings. hahahah.. but after last time.. i'm not sure if i can do it. on top of the already impending fear of needles.

so who wants to hear a funny story? :P

so last night.. i'm supposed to go pick up a friend from the airport, and hang out with her and her friends and have a good time. everything's going according to plan, i check the flight status and find out the flight is delayed. so i hang out around work for a few and finally decide to get going. guess who's car won't start. yea.. mine. AWESOME. so i get a few friends, find some jumper cables and try to jump start my car. nope... not happening. i don't know what is wrong. but since my friend is waiting at the airport.. i'm getting a little anxious and antsy. so my friend kindly lets me borrow her car.. which i was so grateful for because i thought she'd never let anyone else drive it... but there are stipulations. the car is uninsured, and the registration has been renewed by the used car dealership yet. hmm.. so i was hoping that i didn't get pulled over for one or the other (especially at the airport when the cop was right behind me)... and drive to the airport.. carefully. pick up my friend and then drive back to work calling triple a on the way.

i try starting my car and still no luck, so i call my parents just to let them know what's going on. of course my parents want me to drive the car home so they can take care of it.. blah blah blah.. whereas i just want to drive it to sears.. (hoping that it's just a battery problem) and then we fight about how sears isn't open, about where to drive the car, about what i would do in the morning when going to work... basically everything there is to argue about. but i think i hear the tow trunk driving in the distance, so i tell me mom i gotta go.. and rush out to the street. i go to the street corner .. and while waiting for the truck (that has yet to arrive) i realize.. "hey.. someone doesn't have their car keys"... paranoid that i dropped them on the street because i don't see them back in my car.. i start to panic a little bit, but am 99% sure they're in my purse in my car and that i'll be okay because the triple a guy can unlock the doors and then try to jump it right? all in one fell swoop. so we wait around for mr. triple a man, and when he finally comes.. he says he doesn't unlock doors. DANG IT!! so we have to wait for another triple a guy to come and he unlocks my car, but my keys aren't in my purse. so for a nanosecond i get paranoid that some bum picked them up and then i find them under my seat. the triple a guy, who is now rushed because he had to wait around for triple a guy #2, starts poking around my car and can't figure out what's wrong. so he says we're going to tow my car, and there's a little unsureness if i should get it towed to my sister's or towed to torrance. the triple a guy hooks up my car to be towed and drags it out further to the parking lot so he can rearrange and tow it from the front, rather than the back. he closes the car door, and then goes check if something's right, then wants to get back into my car, and the front door is locked!!!!!!!! and like those bad-comedy-everything-goes-wrong movies, where my eyes immediately zoom into the keys sitting in my ignition as the triple a guy is like.. uhh.. the door's locked. i crumple up and want to die right there in the parking lot but the back doors weren't locked, so it's okay. phew.. finally the tide is starting to turn.

i run upstairs to return my friend her car keys back, and talk to her about how i want to die and i feel so lame.. and i hear this honking.. and i'm like "damn.. the tow guy is impatient", but i guess he's busy you know? has stuff to do. but i go downstairs to the parking lot.. and my car is running.. WHOOOOOOOOO.. man oh man. apparently my battery isn't the problem, but it was the starter. the triple a guy put his hand in manually and pushed the starter button... so i guess just something wasn't clicking. argh!! so i drove that car home, but once i got home i left my car running. my dad came up to la and we switched cars, so he took my nissan and i took the honda so that my mom could take it to the mechanic tomorrow and hopefully get it fixed. if need be. i wanted to turn the car off to try and see if it would start again.. but i was too scared that it wouldn't... so i just let my dad take it. because i knew the battery wasn't the problem.. i have no qualms about giving it to him (like.. that the car wouldn't die on the freeway)... and my parents also drove up their car so that i would have no excuses to drive j&j's car. worry warts.

all in all i guess the night wasn't too bad. it was just painful for a few hours, and now i have a good story to laugh about. i ate the leftover rice that i brought home from dinner @ work, which is the best white rice EVER. i could eat bags and bags of it by itself because the rice is so damn tasty. it's white rice, but somehow flavored.. and i'm sure you think i'm crazy, but i promise you i'm not. well not because of the rice at least. come over and try some, you will understand.

so that was my adventure last night. it was awesome. i don't know what's going to come of this weekend.. if my car would start this morning, or what's going on later in the day. i fell asleep on my couch last night after too much "excitement" and now i am at work just waiting for friday night to come. dinner with old HS friends tonight, so that should be fun :) shopping on melrose, and hermosa tomorrow (anyone is welcome to join), and who knows on sunday. oh.. but i REALLY want to go to the coldplay concert sunday night. i have tickets available to me.. and NO ONE TO GO WITH. wow.. i sound really desperate.. but i guess at this point i am. so.. someone needs to be available to go sunday. now. come on.. i would do it for you.

so at work they've been buying those 100 calorie packs of like cookies and snack mix and stuff. it's not too bad.. nothing fake, and not quite the same as those super soft yummy cookies made with whole sticks of butter, but still not bad. BUT my point in writing about this is.. that even if they are 100 calorie packs.. it doesn't help if you eat 10 of them. hahahahah... funny.

so, i got some emails today. well.. all from one person.. about cki icon, and the presentations. the past icon one was previewed in a group of about 30 people and there was a lot of applauding .. which makes me proud i guess. happy? i don't really know. it would have been cool to see it on the big screen, to see all the hard work materialized in the event that it was for. maybe that makes me a narcissist.. sure. i wonder how the service one fared.. i hope good as well. i tried to search around in some people's blogs and someone said the "videos were engaging" so that's better than boring right? :P man i am so vain. but in a good way right?

there's an open spot in my department... anyone looking for a job?

cleaning stuff post #2

so my cousin is coming to live here for awhile, which is part of the reason for us cleaning .. well mostly me cleaning. my mom wants to make the room "his room" and my sister and i have lived in 3 out of the 4 rooms in our house and thus our books, games, stuffed animals and clothes are kind of in places here and there around the house. last night i went home again to clean up a little bit more. i was thinking of maybe having a garage sale in a few weeks, so cleaning stuff to sell at the garage sale might be a good idea. it makes me a little sad though.. i hate parting with my stuff.

anyhow.. last night i unearthed a whole bunch of goodies from underneath my bed. there's the usual - boardgames, old toys and the occasional sock or two. (any body want twister, the bottom line, or california dreams board game?) and then.. i found all the good stuff. i found a bunch of my old happy meal toys, legos, letters, and hello kitty stuff. i remember when i'd spend hours on end wheeling around my double character tiny toon adventure cars, or playing with all my barbies. and i had like 10 pencil boxes. remember when pencil boxes were the HUGE thing, and you always had to have the coolest, latest, best pencil box? maybe they're still popular now, or maybe it was just a torrance thing.. but there were the pencil boxes with the 5 buttons and different things like a pencil sharpener, thermometer, secret compartment, magnifying glass and pencil stand would pop up. or the regular tin ones, or the new ones from hello kitty that had the pencil sharpener and eraser on containers on the side, pencil stands and little compartments on top. this is all mumbo jumbo to some of you maybe, but to those you who KNOW... i had so much fun looking through all my pencil boxes, and all my pretty pencils. gosh i sound like such a geek. i put some of them in the garage sale pile, but i kept a good amount of them. i had to. i spent so much money at the sanrio store.. i would go every week to get the newest cutest pens, pencils, wallets, pencil boxes. sanrio is addictive like crack. if my relatives think i'm crazy about it now, they should have seen me in elementary middle school.

anyways.. i sound like the biggest dork right now.. but finding those pencil boxes brought back when i'd be in school and you were so proud of your pencil box. and not just those dorky plastic boxes, but the REALLY cool ones.

i have a done a few.. or a lot of really stupid things lately. i sort of wish that i could take them back, some i really wish i could do-over. i wonder if the things i did were worth it. if the outcome is something that i will be happy for or not. i need to re-evaluate who and what is important in my life and try to stick to that... for real reasons, and not just for lame reasons or nostalgia sake. i feel a little tainted. i feel a little self loathing. i feel like i should probably get to bed or i will hate my day. busy day, full of changes... at least there will be a change of scenery.

i'm so ridiculous

i am a little disgusted about the ridiculous amount of stuff i have. disgusted in the way that there is SO much and i have no idea what to do with it. and also because i SUCK at cleaning. i pick it up, look through it, and then just kind of put it back in the same place. effective, i know. here and there i might have a piece or two that i will throw out, or say i want to garage sale (who knows when that garage sale will ever happen)... but all in all, the amount of cleaning and getting rid of stuff in my clutter is a miniscule dent. i spent the afternoon sorting through my magazines - ym, people, self, shape, glamour, etc etc.. stuff with nsync on the cover, glancing through articles like "how to have great hair a few minutes", "7 secrets to flawless skin", "9 tips to make you a great kisser", "'why doesn't he like you?' - secret boy answers revealed!", "5 minutes to flab abs" or "10 booty blasting workouts". it was a great time... and i've realized.. teenage angst is not so distant for me.. if at all. haha. just kidding.... i think.

i have 3 rooms to clean and i think i've done 20% of one maybe. i've been told to just "throw it all away" but i clearly don't have that mentality. i have everything i've owned and find it very hard to chuck them to the trash. i keep thinking about what uses i may have for certain stuff, or how i should save them for "what if".. stupid huh? i could have someone just get rid of all my stuff while i'm not looking, and then maybe since i "don't know" that it's gone, i wouldn't miss it. but i think that i still would :P

argh.. cleaning blows. and it's not even spring. who wants to help? :)

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

i'm done i'm done i'm dooooone. oh yea. so excited. i fedexed the dvd out today for the last two of three projects.. and the convention starts tomorrow. SO .. whether they like it or not.. i am FREE. i cannot tell you how estatic i am... and you'd think i'd have all this time to just lay around.. but i'm already planning things here and there, but at least it'll be fun. now that i have time to this "other" stuff, it seems like a waste of time to do stuff like go to the gym, sleep or even watch tv. gasp. okay.. i was just kidding about that last part. but that's what tivo is for.

this weekend is ryan's birthday, san diego, work girl's birthday, work guy's concert. next week there's meetings, tennis, runs to the airport, friends visiting.. YIKES. somewhere in all of that i have to squeeze in buying belated/makeup birthday gifts, disneyland and cleaning up my house with my parents, watching the ends of beauty & the geek, britney kevin:chaotic, and i want to be a hilton... as well as get back to work at gap/hockey. holy crap... where did all this stuff come from? i need to scale it down a bit.

so yea yea you get it. i'm busy. but i am done, and i do feel a little accomplished. except for my 3rd (last) presentation wasn't the best. i'm sure it could have been a lot better, but i had limited resources, and time of course. i guess it's mediocre.. but nothing great. which kind of sucks, but i'm also kind of over it. shh.. don't tell.

okay okay.. i should probably get back to work. but i just wanted to share my excitement with you. :)

oh and a few other random things..
*the other day while driving to work i saw a bunch of large trucks with household supplies in them, and then lights and director's chairs all set up around this one house. i wonder if it was like extreme home makeover or something.. cuz that would be exciting!!

*and.. this was in the same area as sakura and carol's house. scary.

i'm debating whether or not i should try and get some sleep before i have to go to work. it'd be like 1 hour of sleep or less, depending on when this video is done exporting, and how quickly i can set it up to burn. but i'm concerned with if the sleep will help, or just make me more tired. you know what i'm talking about right? and to clarify i didn't stay up ALL night. yesterday i got like 4 hrs of sleep, so i was miserable and tired all day. when i got home i HAD to sleep.. so i slept until 12:30 or so, woke up and have been working since then.

this afternoon when i fedex out the dvd i will be DONE (or so i think)... the convention starts tomorrow, so there's not really much else i can do that after that... whether they like it or not, tough luck eh. that sounds so bad, but i'm sooooooooo over it now. but i have a fun weekend planned to make up for it :) i am going to be really lazy soon.. which is bad because i need to make up for the last month or so of slacking off on everything else... so we'll see how far the lazy goes.

okay.. the video is almost done.. maybe i will try to get some shut eye at least. i'll be back.....

here i am.. procrastinating again.

i have 2 videos done, and one to go. i'm getting "senioritis" bad.. or i guess "last video-itis" is what it would properly be called. just that feeling of you've already done so much, so you don't want to do anymore. or that the finish line is so near.. instead of sprinting to it.. you feel like it's so close you can take a few extra moments instead of getting there. that's the wrong attitude to have, i just need to get it over and be done with.. but i've never been like that. procrastination has always been a specialty of mine.

what makes it worse/perpetuates it... is that i seem be slide by/be okay after every incident. that nothing's ever "really" gone wrong, and i've always made it through and gotten by pretty well. projects, papers, reports... i'm sure i could have done "great" on them if i apply the same work ethic i do in the final hours before it's due to the long run of the weeks before it's due and work that hard on it to make it great.. but really.. who does that? :P

anyhoo... i should probably get back to work because i've spent all day sleeping, eating, watching some tv (20 min?), a little bit of chatting on the phone and then more eating and more sleeping. fab huh? my new drive is loud and noisy and is super hot because it's been on for quite awhile. i should probably let it rest soon so it doesn't blow up on me. i think i have editor's block and pumping out this many projects in that much short of time is waning on my creativity. well not really, but that's just my "excuse." i think it's also hard because i've spent so much time cooped up in the house. sure i get out for work.. but that's work, then i come home and work.. and that's no fun. sure i've been out a few times, here and there, birthdays, softball games, goodbye parties.. but i've had this thing looming in the background and i can never really just "relax".. so i'll be a little glad when it's all over. and that's sad to say because if i want this as "my career" i shouldn't be so glad to be done with it.... but i think that if this was solely my job it'd be easier, but it's hard to do this and work almosst 50 hrs a week and try to appease family and friends when they need you, and then try to have your own life. but i've planned lots of fun things in the next few weeks.. so hopefully it'll make up for it :)

gotta finish so that i have time to bake cupcakes tomorrow for our last softball game. boo... but hopefully we'll play another season.. so it won't have to be the absolute end. but we are having a "last game" bbq.. which will be lots of fun.. and hopefully we won't eat so much that we won't be able to play our last game well (against the last place team might i add).. hahaha... yea.. it's going to be "great".. but if you want to come to the fun.. let me know :) you can help us eat all the food that i think we are planning of bringing way too much of :P

i really don't want to get to work. maybe sleep sounds good :P

stop it.

outputed, exported and fedexed to the distributors.

*now i can breathe for a few hours...*

1 down, 2 to go.... so very tired.

thanks to everyone who has helped, offering me advice, support, sympathy or just an open ear. sorry for any curtness, general crabbyness, being unpleasant, anti-social, flaky or lame. you guys rock.

whoooooooooooo.... i got my powerbook... a whole day early. aww yea. makes my day somewhat better.

murphy's law is kicking my ass