here i am.. procrastinating again.

i have 2 videos done, and one to go. i'm getting "senioritis" bad.. or i guess "last video-itis" is what it would properly be called. just that feeling of you've already done so much, so you don't want to do anymore. or that the finish line is so near.. instead of sprinting to it.. you feel like it's so close you can take a few extra moments instead of getting there. that's the wrong attitude to have, i just need to get it over and be done with.. but i've never been like that. procrastination has always been a specialty of mine.

what makes it worse/perpetuates it... is that i seem be slide by/be okay after every incident. that nothing's ever "really" gone wrong, and i've always made it through and gotten by pretty well. projects, papers, reports... i'm sure i could have done "great" on them if i apply the same work ethic i do in the final hours before it's due to the long run of the weeks before it's due and work that hard on it to make it great.. but really.. who does that? :P

anyhoo... i should probably get back to work because i've spent all day sleeping, eating, watching some tv (20 min?), a little bit of chatting on the phone and then more eating and more sleeping. fab huh? my new drive is loud and noisy and is super hot because it's been on for quite awhile. i should probably let it rest soon so it doesn't blow up on me. i think i have editor's block and pumping out this many projects in that much short of time is waning on my creativity. well not really, but that's just my "excuse." i think it's also hard because i've spent so much time cooped up in the house. sure i get out for work.. but that's work, then i come home and work.. and that's no fun. sure i've been out a few times, here and there, birthdays, softball games, goodbye parties.. but i've had this thing looming in the background and i can never really just "relax".. so i'll be a little glad when it's all over. and that's sad to say because if i want this as "my career" i shouldn't be so glad to be done with it.... but i think that if this was solely my job it'd be easier, but it's hard to do this and work almosst 50 hrs a week and try to appease family and friends when they need you, and then try to have your own life. but i've planned lots of fun things in the next few weeks.. so hopefully it'll make up for it :)

gotta finish so that i have time to bake cupcakes tomorrow for our last softball game. boo... but hopefully we'll play another season.. so it won't have to be the absolute end. but we are having a "last game" bbq.. which will be lots of fun.. and hopefully we won't eat so much that we won't be able to play our last game well (against the last place team might i add).. hahaha... yea.. it's going to be "great".. but if you want to come to the fun.. let me know :) you can help us eat all the food that i think we are planning of bringing way too much of :P

i really don't want to get to work. maybe sleep sounds good :P

stop it.