trying to pass the last 30 minutes of the day. even though i'm blogging through it, i feel slightly proud of myself for making it through the day. this sickness that reared it's ugly head a week ago, but seemed to have been slain this weekend, is coming back with a nasty vengeance and my throat is not enjoying it. boo for sick tuesdays. i came in relatively "on time" like 9:30ish. for me.. (lately) that's on time, as i have been getting here after the 10 o'clock hour. bad jean. it's a combination of things really... but internally.. i feel sort of bad. so i'm "trying" to get here earlier. today was a good day. i told myself i was gonna go home early, and my boss even told me to go home. don't know why i didn't. figured i already dragged myself out of bed and here, might as well tough it out. or.. maybe it really does take more energy to sit here, than to go home.

i'm kind of stumbling through the days. trying to keep myself busy, trying to find things to do, as they figure themselves out. i kind of have a feeling things aren't really gonna get better before the next 5 weeks are up, and that does kind of give me a little bit of incentive. i've applied to jobs, but haven't really heard any thing back. which is sad. am i really that unqualified? are my goals too lofty? do my resume/cover letter suck that much? i KNOW that i can do these jobs, it's just "hard" to get your foot in the door i suppose. but what also sucks is that i keep having to answer questions, and help people out, and i sit here and wonder, if i have all the answers, why am i still just sitting here? *sigh... i don't know.

ok.. i think that i can leave 20 minutes early. that's not too bad. it sure doesn't take me 1/2 hour to blog... i must type really fast :P but i do need to post a picture blog soon.. i just don't have the pix with me, they'll be up soon though.