so i found out today that getting boys to like you are a lot like job interviews. you have to be really self confident with a "can do" attitude, you can't ever say anything bad about yourself.. it's that whole "turn negative into positives" thing, and especially don't put yourself down. and they both need to be the "right fit" for you. and you may twist, contort, train or whatever yourself to try to fit in the job or the boy.. but maybe it just doesn't end up working out. what else is there? ... but yea.. so ridiculous conversations, "pants theories" and all of this advice and i come out that it's essentially the same thing. selling yourself to an employer or to a member of the opposite sex. and also .. if they really want you - they will go after you. they will do what they have to do to date/hire you. otherwise.. "they're just not that into you"

oh how i will grow to hate those six words. (as if anyone ever liked them right? well someone did i guess :P) sure .. maybe they're supposed to be empowering or something. but really.. they kind of make me sad.. and it's like "the rules" or whatever.. i just don't get it. hahah.. maybe THAT is my problem. with jobs, with boys, with life. and don't worry.. this isn't a pity party blog. but i'm rather amused with it. and essentially.. i think everyone knows what they "should" do. but it's hard to actually do it. and this is why it's amusing. because when i am nervous - this bout of verbal diarrhea tends to arise, or complete malfunction.. where the only thing i can utter is "yea.." or "oh" or "that's good." mm. yea.. my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. that's right.

blech. wow. i think some people are waking up right now to go to work. i have yet to go to sleep. i'm still doing random stuff (not packing) andworking on stuff for my sister. i just feel like i should get it done. i can decide what to pack since i brought my laundry here... so i'm not TOTALLY procrastinating. i was supposed to wake up early - but of course. i did not. yea yea yea. be quiet.

apparently jason mraz played after an afternoon at his little benefit showcase thing. aww... i bet it was good. oh well. i had fun, went shopping with sakura, had dinner, and then hung out with beth a little bit afterwards. i was supposed to clean and pack and what not.. but i was tired so i put it off until this morning. today i did random stuff, laundry, sorting stuff, stuff for my play... which was my last one tonight :( next week is the last show and i won't be there. hah.. the person who is filling in is a "professional stage manager" hah.. oh what a drastic difference. but it's not hard and i didn't do a hideous job, and mandy and jeremy take care of most of the stuf anyways.. so they won't notice TOO much of a difference. i printed and mounted these production stills and i think they came out quite nicely. i was proud of myself. i drove from ucla-ish area to hollywood today.. traffic bites. argh. but it was mostly okay - except for the part where i almost rear-ended someone. i just spaced out for a bit, looking at a billboard or something and i guess i didn't realized traffic had stopped. i wasn't going very fast.. 30 or 40 maybe.. i was strolling, but i guess that's fast compared to a stop. so yea.. slammed on my brakes, screeching tires, stuff flying foward - but no accident.. so i am blessed for that. *phew*.. thank you to whoever saved me.

kristen and benji came tonight! yay!! thanks guys! afterwards was dinner/dessert at cat & fiddle with some of the cast and a final goodbye :) (plus the conversation as mentioned above :P) i'm sad that there are things that i can't be here for - the last show, my ex-work's potluck (those extra weeks of work i am not sad about), beth's adopt a family "party", benji's going away party, days of disneyland to go to before it's blocked out. sorry that i can't be at those things. i do wish i could! my manager (not the big boss) at my work said he's really going to miss me, and i could tell he meant it. and it made me feel good :) i am.... a little apprehensive about this funeral. and i hope it's not too bad.. there'll be lots of traditions and customs and what not. and not just chinese ones, but also ones specific to my small town my grandfather lived in. you know that they kept the body outside his apartment (in a coffin in a freezer) for display for a month, and each of his children have to spend 24 hours with it, to make sure it's okay, no one messes with it, and i think lighting incense. interesting huh? i'm supposed to be wearing all white (pants, shoes, shirt) as a grandchild (i think). do you know how hard it is to find white pants?! and i don't even know if the ones i got were okay. but yea. i hope my mom will be okay - but she is free from other stresses in her life, so she doesn't have to worry about that.

okay now i am just babbling to be procrastinative. this blog is longer than i had intended. and i don't really want to drive home right now. but i also don't to get stuck in morning traffic. argh.. it may have already even started. who who who knows... but i still have to pack! yikes!

have fun and stay safe kids! be good.