SO.BORED.
this is me... at work... :
i can't really complain, i'm getting paid to not really do anything.. hang out, blog, myspace, look up crap on the internet. whoo crap! it's really quiet though because so many people are on vacation. but i am not, and i am just sitting here. maybe since i have a new cube i could crawl under my desk and take a nap and less people would notice... but then i would be under my desk. ew. haha.
this week has been a week of meeting up with old friends. i guess that's how it is when people come home for the holidays. last night was middle school friends, tonight is high school friends. good times. maybe in a few years i'll meet up with old college friends, because right now we're not really keeping in touch much. some of them.. but not all. i'd post pictures, but i don't have the really recent ones and i'm a little too lazy right now. you'd think the boredom would want to give me something to do, but in turn it just makes me tired and lazy. hahah.. i've been watching a lot of days :) but only the carrie/austin/sami/lucas storyline. i fast forward through everything else (i <3 tivo) but yet still manage to keep up on what's going on because it's so slow! and you just can tell by facial expressions. haha. austin=hot, but they're all still so dumb. i can't believe they talk to sami, or drag their feet on telling they like each other.. stupid stupid stupid. so frustrating!! but i'm still so addicted! i've also been playing mario party 7 .. whoo!! not a whole lot.. but i did stay up until 1am on tuesday morning playing it.. so fun. :) - but that was only my second time.. and i haven't played since then, so i'm not totally hooked... yet.
ooh yay.. i might have lunch with my mom and j^3 (the nickname for joan, jeff & jake... lazyness sets in and that family is reduced to a symbol.. like prince). hahah. that'll keep me from falling asleep... i did bring lunch though.. leftovers from dinner last night at el pollo inka... yuuuuum..
i'm going to sundance :) i booked the hotel and flight and car yesterday. yay!! i thought the plans were going to fall through, but they didn't.. :) if i can get a few more of my friends to come along with it'll be SO fun.. hopefully they'll say yes!! i realized that it's only in a few weeks too.. crazyness!!
anyone have good plans for new years? umm.. i mean.. good plans that i can crash? haahah. i'm not that great at planning good outings.. sometimes they come together, but a lot of the time with big holidays everyone has their own idea of what they want so it's hard to get everyone together. birthdays are easy because you plan what you want and everyone has to go along with it because you say so.. haha.. i might just end up babysitting so other people can go out and party. is that lame? hahah...
yay! going out to lunch.. indian food? i hope i like it.. i usually don't.. the spices are too different for me..
today's lunch: http://shershahcuisineofindia.com/
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
up late again. working on captioning pictures cuz now i can't do it at work! at least not this week when i'm training.
so i think i need to cut back on the sarcasm, because either i'm too good at it, too bad at it, or people just don't get me. apparently there are certain people who think i have a HUGE attitude problem because they can't tell when i'm serious and when i'm not. assuming the whole time i'm serious (am i ever? jk) i say a lot of really mean things. things that i think it's obvious that i'm joking... what kind of person says those things in person? either someone really blunt, or someone with a big problem. supposedly that someone equals me. right. apparently i am someone that needs to put other people down to make myself feel better. thanks for the memo. so i'll TRY to be "nicer" .. which i think is ridiculous because i am TOO nice sometimes.. and i usually only joke around with people i really like, apparently they don't like me back. maybe i should just talk less total... don't say anything at all.
but.. so i need to try and watch myself. not be sarcastic, especially around people who don't "know" me.. my very incorrect assumption is that people "get me" but i guess not. or i will follow every sarcastic phrase with "that was a joke"... how suave is that?
seriously.. people suck sometimes... maybe a lot of the time.
that was not a joke.
so i think i need to cut back on the sarcasm, because either i'm too good at it, too bad at it, or people just don't get me. apparently there are certain people who think i have a HUGE attitude problem because they can't tell when i'm serious and when i'm not. assuming the whole time i'm serious (am i ever? jk) i say a lot of really mean things. things that i think it's obvious that i'm joking... what kind of person says those things in person? either someone really blunt, or someone with a big problem. supposedly that someone equals me. right. apparently i am someone that needs to put other people down to make myself feel better. thanks for the memo. so i'll TRY to be "nicer" .. which i think is ridiculous because i am TOO nice sometimes.. and i usually only joke around with people i really like, apparently they don't like me back. maybe i should just talk less total... don't say anything at all.
but.. so i need to try and watch myself. not be sarcastic, especially around people who don't "know" me.. my very incorrect assumption is that people "get me" but i guess not. or i will follow every sarcastic phrase with "that was a joke"... how suave is that?
seriously.. people suck sometimes... maybe a lot of the time.
that was not a joke.
Monday, December 12, 2005
i really should be sleeping, but i'm not. hmm. how many posts have i started out writing that? too many probably.
i start my new job tomorrow. it's new, but yet i'm going to the same place, so it seems not new. does that seem weird? i don't even have a different parking space, well not this week. but i do get to go in at 9am instead of 8:30... does the 30 minutes make that huge of a difference? apparently so because i am staying up late because of it :P i also blame the 2 hour nap i took while i was at home. hopefully it'll add up the the next few hours of sleep i get and when i wake up i will be okay. it's weird to think that i won't have forever to the just surf the internet, blog, chat and myspace it up while at work. i mean.. granted a lot of people do anyways, but for me it was a given, because really i was just supposed to sit and wait for the phone to ring, or someone to walk through the door. granted i did other things, but most days ... well you get it. i have this plan i want to enact that probably takes lot of internet research, and i just had this dilemma that i wouldn't be able to do it tomorrow... hahaha.
i have a little hesitation calling this job a "promotion." only because it's not like they called me in and said they were giving me this new job. it was a process where i had to "apply".. and it was because it was vacated. but i guess in the real world higher title + pay raise = promotion no matter what the circumstances :P so i guess that's what it is.. but i still like to say "new job," but that does sound weird to me to.
i've been listening to a lot of cover songs lately.. well the two on my computer... on repeat :P a kelly clarkson - since u been gone cover by h's between vowels (a band discovered on myspace with former members of ozma in it..) and a coldplay cover of yellow by petra haden and bill frisell as featured on the OC. i really really like them.. granted.. i like the songs in original form... but they're very soothing for me. weird huh.
speaking of the OC.. i know you probably didn't think i watched it, but i have started to get into to it more and more. i blame mana and my sister. not so much my sister because even when she made me record those dvd's for her, i got into it a little, but still kicked the habit. but i watched the OC a little because mana was talking about it, and now i'm a little hooked... i want to know what happens with johnny and marissa, and i really like summer. okay okay. i'll stop gushing.. but having it on tivo helps because i can watch it when there's nothing better to do. it's not a religious thursday night ritual, so i'm not that far gone yet. another show i have been obsessed with lately is days of our lives. !!! hahah.. i haven't watched for awhile and a lot of things changed, BUT they brought back austin and THEN brought back carrie. MY FAVORITE PEOPLE EVAR. i know i sound really lame right now, but they were my favorites, they're the perfect couple, the reason why i will forever hate alison sweeney no matter what. it doesn't hurt that austin is like the hottest ever (even when he was in that Ross commercial... hahahha). i remember when me and angelee would sit on the phone together and just watch days of our lives. silent during the show with the occasional scream or gasp here and there, and the gab during commercials. when we were away at college sometimes i would tape the show and send it to her when she wasn't able to catch it. and i remember when austin accidentally hit sami with his car i was so deliriously happy i think i rewound and watched that moment 3 or 4 times. evil huh? that's how much we hate sami. but anyways.. it's slow and dragging and i love tivo for this reason as well. i fast forward through all the other story lines and just watch the austin/nicole/sami/carrie/lucas story line. funny enough even with the fast forwarding i can still comprehend the other story lines because it moves that slow. i haven't been keeping up on my passions though - i wonder what's going on with ethan/gwen/theresa? that was always my favorite storyline there.
i told myself i'd go to bed by 2am.. but now it's 2:07.. i should probably go. wish me luck in my first day... this week i will be training and hopefully i'll "get it" luckily, even though this girl is leaving, the girl who was in the position before her is still there so she will be getting a lot of my phone calls. hahaha. good thing she's also my friend.. she'll be getting a nice christmas present. haha.
i watched the chronicles of narnia today with my dad. funny.. he had been talking about it for weeks, and so i thought he really wanted to see it. my mom's not much of a movie person, so i have to be my dad's movie date or else i think he doesn't really watch many movies. which is fine because i don't really go out that much either. but it's funny because i think my dad bases how good movies will be based on how they do on the "hollywood stock exchange" (hsx.com) it's this thing my sister got us into awhile back where movies and actors are a stock and you can buy/trade etc etc and they make money. it's fake and fun and i stopped keeping up with it a LONG time ago, but my dad is still going strong. he told me that the narnia stock went up $20 today. haha... he never read the books though, that's why i wanted to see it. initially i wasn't interested, but i slowly came around. i think it was pretty good, definitely not a "kid's" movie, but young adult.. that's how the book is anyways right? my parents are also very funny in missing the "point" of movies. my dad was saying something like "see they should tell kids not to go hang out with strangers" when lucy first goes off with mr. thomas. and then after the movie was over my dad was like "this movie is not good because it teaches kids to run off, and also to fight" hahaha.. maybe not like that verbatim.. but that was his point. i said that they had to fulfill the prophecy and their fate, and he was just like "eh". hahahah.. next weekend i think we have a date to see aeon flux :) smiley face because that's the movie my company worked on.. yay!! i've heard conflicting things about the movie, and not like we make more money based on how the movie did, but i'm still interested. i'm sure my dad just wants to go to see charlize in a tight suit :P but it'll be cool to see my co-workers names in the credits. i saw a few people i know who worked on narnia's names in the credits... exciting :P
i want to do something really fun for new years. like a "go big or go home" kind of fun. haha.. any ideas? i have one, but i don't know how it's going to pan out. especially because i don't know what a lot of my friends are doing, two friends are leaving on a big trip the next day - may not be up for partying, one may have to be working, others may already have plans of their own. last new years i hung out with a couple and basically watched them (and everyone else) make out all night. that was fun.... not. :P anyways.. maybe it'll just be me and dick clark rockin it (does he even still do it?) i dunno.. i've been kind of out of the "really fun things to do" ideas. 2006 might be spent ringing it in with my family.. which isn't a bad thing.. but usually means my mom downstairs watching tv, my dad on the computer, my cousin in his room across the hall (although he may be out with his friends.. more exciting plans than me.. haha) and me in my room and my 13" tv. awesome huh? someone save me.
2:14 time for sleep.. if i sleep until 8am (absolute latest i can..) i can still get almost 6hrs of sleep :)
look at the stars, look how they shine for you
i start my new job tomorrow. it's new, but yet i'm going to the same place, so it seems not new. does that seem weird? i don't even have a different parking space, well not this week. but i do get to go in at 9am instead of 8:30... does the 30 minutes make that huge of a difference? apparently so because i am staying up late because of it :P i also blame the 2 hour nap i took while i was at home. hopefully it'll add up the the next few hours of sleep i get and when i wake up i will be okay. it's weird to think that i won't have forever to the just surf the internet, blog, chat and myspace it up while at work. i mean.. granted a lot of people do anyways, but for me it was a given, because really i was just supposed to sit and wait for the phone to ring, or someone to walk through the door. granted i did other things, but most days ... well you get it. i have this plan i want to enact that probably takes lot of internet research, and i just had this dilemma that i wouldn't be able to do it tomorrow... hahaha.
i have a little hesitation calling this job a "promotion." only because it's not like they called me in and said they were giving me this new job. it was a process where i had to "apply".. and it was because it was vacated. but i guess in the real world higher title + pay raise = promotion no matter what the circumstances :P so i guess that's what it is.. but i still like to say "new job," but that does sound weird to me to.
i've been listening to a lot of cover songs lately.. well the two on my computer... on repeat :P a kelly clarkson - since u been gone cover by h's between vowels (a band discovered on myspace with former members of ozma in it..) and a coldplay cover of yellow by petra haden and bill frisell as featured on the OC. i really really like them.. granted.. i like the songs in original form... but they're very soothing for me. weird huh.
speaking of the OC.. i know you probably didn't think i watched it, but i have started to get into to it more and more. i blame mana and my sister. not so much my sister because even when she made me record those dvd's for her, i got into it a little, but still kicked the habit. but i watched the OC a little because mana was talking about it, and now i'm a little hooked... i want to know what happens with johnny and marissa, and i really like summer. okay okay. i'll stop gushing.. but having it on tivo helps because i can watch it when there's nothing better to do. it's not a religious thursday night ritual, so i'm not that far gone yet. another show i have been obsessed with lately is days of our lives. !!! hahah.. i haven't watched for awhile and a lot of things changed, BUT they brought back austin and THEN brought back carrie. MY FAVORITE PEOPLE EVAR. i know i sound really lame right now, but they were my favorites, they're the perfect couple, the reason why i will forever hate alison sweeney no matter what. it doesn't hurt that austin is like the hottest ever (even when he was in that Ross commercial... hahahha). i remember when me and angelee would sit on the phone together and just watch days of our lives. silent during the show with the occasional scream or gasp here and there, and the gab during commercials. when we were away at college sometimes i would tape the show and send it to her when she wasn't able to catch it. and i remember when austin accidentally hit sami with his car i was so deliriously happy i think i rewound and watched that moment 3 or 4 times. evil huh? that's how much we hate sami. but anyways.. it's slow and dragging and i love tivo for this reason as well. i fast forward through all the other story lines and just watch the austin/nicole/sami/carrie/lucas story line. funny enough even with the fast forwarding i can still comprehend the other story lines because it moves that slow. i haven't been keeping up on my passions though - i wonder what's going on with ethan/gwen/theresa? that was always my favorite storyline there.
i told myself i'd go to bed by 2am.. but now it's 2:07.. i should probably go. wish me luck in my first day... this week i will be training and hopefully i'll "get it" luckily, even though this girl is leaving, the girl who was in the position before her is still there so she will be getting a lot of my phone calls. hahaha. good thing she's also my friend.. she'll be getting a nice christmas present. haha.
i watched the chronicles of narnia today with my dad. funny.. he had been talking about it for weeks, and so i thought he really wanted to see it. my mom's not much of a movie person, so i have to be my dad's movie date or else i think he doesn't really watch many movies. which is fine because i don't really go out that much either. but it's funny because i think my dad bases how good movies will be based on how they do on the "hollywood stock exchange" (hsx.com) it's this thing my sister got us into awhile back where movies and actors are a stock and you can buy/trade etc etc and they make money. it's fake and fun and i stopped keeping up with it a LONG time ago, but my dad is still going strong. he told me that the narnia stock went up $20 today. haha... he never read the books though, that's why i wanted to see it. initially i wasn't interested, but i slowly came around. i think it was pretty good, definitely not a "kid's" movie, but young adult.. that's how the book is anyways right? my parents are also very funny in missing the "point" of movies. my dad was saying something like "see they should tell kids not to go hang out with strangers" when lucy first goes off with mr. thomas. and then after the movie was over my dad was like "this movie is not good because it teaches kids to run off, and also to fight" hahaha.. maybe not like that verbatim.. but that was his point. i said that they had to fulfill the prophecy and their fate, and he was just like "eh". hahahah.. next weekend i think we have a date to see aeon flux :) smiley face because that's the movie my company worked on.. yay!! i've heard conflicting things about the movie, and not like we make more money based on how the movie did, but i'm still interested. i'm sure my dad just wants to go to see charlize in a tight suit :P but it'll be cool to see my co-workers names in the credits. i saw a few people i know who worked on narnia's names in the credits... exciting :P
i want to do something really fun for new years. like a "go big or go home" kind of fun. haha.. any ideas? i have one, but i don't know how it's going to pan out. especially because i don't know what a lot of my friends are doing, two friends are leaving on a big trip the next day - may not be up for partying, one may have to be working, others may already have plans of their own. last new years i hung out with a couple and basically watched them (and everyone else) make out all night. that was fun.... not. :P anyways.. maybe it'll just be me and dick clark rockin it (does he even still do it?) i dunno.. i've been kind of out of the "really fun things to do" ideas. 2006 might be spent ringing it in with my family.. which isn't a bad thing.. but usually means my mom downstairs watching tv, my dad on the computer, my cousin in his room across the hall (although he may be out with his friends.. more exciting plans than me.. haha) and me in my room and my 13" tv. awesome huh? someone save me.
2:14 time for sleep.. if i sleep until 8am (absolute latest i can..) i can still get almost 6hrs of sleep :)
look at the stars, look how they shine for you
Friday, December 09, 2005
me: is this bill?
bill: yup..
me: there's a limo waiting outside for you
bill:
hahaha.. the funniest moment of today. so i have a new job. sort of a new job, new position, but same company. i'm excited, yet i'm scared. i was a little sad, but today i'm having one of those days where you are glad that you got out when you could. does that sound awful? i guess it's just the on-going thing of not feeling appreciated. i don't need a lot, i don't need big flashy signs or lots of "sugar words" (as my mom would call them), but there is a lot i do, and a lot i try hard to make things flow that aren't even supposed to be my job, but i want things to be better you know? maybe i try too hard or something and it's my fault, but i can't just sit back and do nothing, and when i watch people who do it frustrates me. maybe i have control issues.. who knows.. and then sometimes it makes me not want to do anything either, but i really do think in the end that maybe people aren't saying it to your face, but they do recognize the hard work you put it. so i'm glad that i feel like it's finally worth something. which is not the attitude i should have, because you shouldn't work hard only to be recognized, but some days i want to be vain... so there.
i start my new job on monday, so there are a lot of things to wrap up. it's a little hectic and a little busy, especially when i'm chained to my desk. bleh. i am scared that i won't do a good job, but before this year i was scared that i'd totally screw up my current job. it'll push me and i'll probably be learning a lot... so good times ahead right? i was a little wishy washy only because i had the whole "is this what i 'really' want to do?" conversation with myself. especially when i found out there were opportunities of things that i think that i "want" to do, and what i have is the "safe" choice. but.. what i "want" to do i have never actually done, so maybe i'll hate it, and maybe i'll like this new job all the same. plus, i'm still "young" so i can still move on to do what i "want" if i still want to do it. right? i've been at this point where i think the situation i have is the situation i'll be stuck in for the rest of my life, and that one year is SO long.. but in the grand scheme of life it's just one more step. but i know that what i'm going to be doing will be great. i'm just getting the whole cold feet thing.
since i will also be more financially able thoughts of moving out have also been entering my mind. my sister comes home soon, so me playing house will come to an end, yet she's also not staying for entirely too long, so there's the time i can just suck it up and live at home, or i can just be on my own for good. or so i think. saving money is nice though. but stupid misunderstandings turned not so great arguments make me think otherwise. sometimes i have these moments where i realize how little my family and friends know me, which sounds like a really awful statement. and there are things that they know about me.. but small little things that i wish someone would pick up on, but things don't go my way. maybe they do pick up on it and don't want to deal with me, but sometimes i need to be babied... maybe it goes along with the wanting to be vain. i know that's how "parents are" and i should become a better person and deal with it, but sometimes i just don't want to. is me being stubborn worth $1000/month?
6 more hours...
pay attention kids.. trust me.. it helps.
bill: yup..
me: there's a limo waiting outside for you
bill:
hahaha.. the funniest moment of today. so i have a new job. sort of a new job, new position, but same company. i'm excited, yet i'm scared. i was a little sad, but today i'm having one of those days where you are glad that you got out when you could. does that sound awful? i guess it's just the on-going thing of not feeling appreciated. i don't need a lot, i don't need big flashy signs or lots of "sugar words" (as my mom would call them), but there is a lot i do, and a lot i try hard to make things flow that aren't even supposed to be my job, but i want things to be better you know? maybe i try too hard or something and it's my fault, but i can't just sit back and do nothing, and when i watch people who do it frustrates me. maybe i have control issues.. who knows.. and then sometimes it makes me not want to do anything either, but i really do think in the end that maybe people aren't saying it to your face, but they do recognize the hard work you put it. so i'm glad that i feel like it's finally worth something. which is not the attitude i should have, because you shouldn't work hard only to be recognized, but some days i want to be vain... so there.
i start my new job on monday, so there are a lot of things to wrap up. it's a little hectic and a little busy, especially when i'm chained to my desk. bleh. i am scared that i won't do a good job, but before this year i was scared that i'd totally screw up my current job. it'll push me and i'll probably be learning a lot... so good times ahead right? i was a little wishy washy only because i had the whole "is this what i 'really' want to do?" conversation with myself. especially when i found out there were opportunities of things that i think that i "want" to do, and what i have is the "safe" choice. but.. what i "want" to do i have never actually done, so maybe i'll hate it, and maybe i'll like this new job all the same. plus, i'm still "young" so i can still move on to do what i "want" if i still want to do it. right? i've been at this point where i think the situation i have is the situation i'll be stuck in for the rest of my life, and that one year is SO long.. but in the grand scheme of life it's just one more step. but i know that what i'm going to be doing will be great. i'm just getting the whole cold feet thing.
since i will also be more financially able thoughts of moving out have also been entering my mind. my sister comes home soon, so me playing house will come to an end, yet she's also not staying for entirely too long, so there's the time i can just suck it up and live at home, or i can just be on my own for good. or so i think. saving money is nice though. but stupid misunderstandings turned not so great arguments make me think otherwise. sometimes i have these moments where i realize how little my family and friends know me, which sounds like a really awful statement. and there are things that they know about me.. but small little things that i wish someone would pick up on, but things don't go my way. maybe they do pick up on it and don't want to deal with me, but sometimes i need to be babied... maybe it goes along with the wanting to be vain. i know that's how "parents are" and i should become a better person and deal with it, but sometimes i just don't want to. is me being stubborn worth $1000/month?
6 more hours...
pay attention kids.. trust me.. it helps.
Friday, December 02, 2005
jean: i'm watching the biggest loser.. even though i'm supposed to be cleaning.
sakura: oh.. isn't it the guy with the long hair?
jean: ....
jean: umm.. I DON'T KNOW I HAVEN'T FINISHED WATCHING!
sakura: oh wait.. i don't really know.. um.. i mean..
jean: i've been watching for a hour and forty minutes.. and now...
sakura: i dunno.. but he was on all the magazines
jean: STOP!! just stop talking..
sakura: okay.
hahahha.. she was right by the way.
hey they're accepting applications.. maybe i should send in an audition tape. :P
argh.. procrastinating.. need to clean!
sakura: oh.. isn't it the guy with the long hair?
jean: ....
jean: umm.. I DON'T KNOW I HAVEN'T FINISHED WATCHING!
sakura: oh wait.. i don't really know.. um.. i mean..
jean: i've been watching for a hour and forty minutes.. and now...
sakura: i dunno.. but he was on all the magazines
jean: STOP!! just stop talking..
sakura: okay.
hahahha.. she was right by the way.
hey they're accepting applications.. maybe i should send in an audition tape. :P
argh.. procrastinating.. need to clean!
this post is for linh... she always tells me to update so that she has something to do at work. but i bet she didn't even see my post from yesterday. haha.
this morning.. i have been wasting time like no other. myspace mostly. it's so addicting, not even doing anything important, just stalking people as usual. it's a good early morning ritual. i have so much to do, but i haven't been keeping up. bad bad. if anything today should be the day where i am proactive and i get things done, but yea.. i don't think that's going to happen. well maybe.. i still have a good 8 hours of work left huh.
i thought i had a good post to write about.. but i don't.. all words are escaping me. my brain is not awake yet. maybe i'll go get a coffee.. but i said i was going to try to not drink as much coffee. i was good today though.. i stayed away from the donuts. by default. this guy said he was going to get me a donut, and i told him i wanted a chocolate french crueller. there were none of those, and instead he brought me a plain donut.. which i'm not a fan of.. so i guess it's "better" that way, and now i'm sitting here eating my nutrigrain bar (which i have been really really enjoying) and drinking my milk.
last night someone told me "that guy from alias" plays hockey at my work. well.. mr. vartan plays hockey (i don't really think any other guys do) so i freaked out when i thought it would be him. i've worked there for more than a year and have never even heard that before.. but apparently there a industry people all over the place and i never even know. maybe it's time to collect a few more hours there. do some investigating.
dammit.. why am i so boy crazy? i would say "when did i get this way" but i've always been like that... looking at attractive boys has always been a fun hobby. i guess it's better than being a whore huh? but i need to find more of a happy medium maybe.. or just take it as it comes.. i'm too tired to contemplate this right now.
i am totally babbling.. this entry is crap, but i'll post it anyways so i can remind myself how dumb i can be. sounds like a good idea eh? i wanted to post pictures.. but i've been to lazy to do that too. maybe i will now. but my anal side of me won't let me post anything until they're all captioned and organized, and that's the tedious part i can't get over yet. bleh.
yay it's friday. but it's still going to be a long day.
this morning.. i have been wasting time like no other. myspace mostly. it's so addicting, not even doing anything important, just stalking people as usual. it's a good early morning ritual. i have so much to do, but i haven't been keeping up. bad bad. if anything today should be the day where i am proactive and i get things done, but yea.. i don't think that's going to happen. well maybe.. i still have a good 8 hours of work left huh.
i thought i had a good post to write about.. but i don't.. all words are escaping me. my brain is not awake yet. maybe i'll go get a coffee.. but i said i was going to try to not drink as much coffee. i was good today though.. i stayed away from the donuts. by default. this guy said he was going to get me a donut, and i told him i wanted a chocolate french crueller. there were none of those, and instead he brought me a plain donut.. which i'm not a fan of.. so i guess it's "better" that way, and now i'm sitting here eating my nutrigrain bar (which i have been really really enjoying) and drinking my milk.
last night someone told me "that guy from alias" plays hockey at my work. well.. mr. vartan plays hockey (i don't really think any other guys do) so i freaked out when i thought it would be him. i've worked there for more than a year and have never even heard that before.. but apparently there a industry people all over the place and i never even know. maybe it's time to collect a few more hours there. do some investigating.
dammit.. why am i so boy crazy? i would say "when did i get this way" but i've always been like that... looking at attractive boys has always been a fun hobby. i guess it's better than being a whore huh? but i need to find more of a happy medium maybe.. or just take it as it comes.. i'm too tired to contemplate this right now.
i am totally babbling.. this entry is crap, but i'll post it anyways so i can remind myself how dumb i can be. sounds like a good idea eh? i wanted to post pictures.. but i've been to lazy to do that too. maybe i will now. but my anal side of me won't let me post anything until they're all captioned and organized, and that's the tedious part i can't get over yet. bleh.
yay it's friday. but it's still going to be a long day.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
today this guy at work got two packages from his mom. it was two more in a string of packages he's been getting the past few days, all from his mom. when they're international packages you have to declare the contents and they show it on the outside what they are. today he got underwear and chocolate. and he replied "aww.. i love my mom" at that point.. i loved his mom too.
then i got to thinking. i've never really been in a place where i get packages from home. i mean.. trade off.. i go home and often time i'll get sent home with lots of things to take home... but getting packages and care packages are nice. granted my parents aren't really care packagey types.. but maybe my friends are? who knows. sometimes i'd get stuff from my mom while i was in san diego, but most of the time it was when i needed stuff. new glasses, contacts, checks. etc etc etc. nothing fun. once i got fudge from benji's mom, and that was awesome. BUT i digress... this isn't about lack of love from my parents.. but the fact that i haven't really been anywhere far enough to be in a position to be sent care packages. like, i only went to school in san diego, and then immediately came back to LA. there's so many people here (at my work.. not LA) that aren't from around here, which i always immediately assume they are. their parents send them cute little packages and it seems like they're living this great life in this new fun place. maybe this is why i wanted to go to school in minnesota, go somewhere different, try something new... but that didn't pan out. i'd never move to minnesota now, but it would be fun to live elsewhere, maybe san diego again, or somewhere like boston or new york. i wonder if i'd be able to stand the cold. people always seem so well traveled, this girl was having this conversation about the "lower east side" and "manhattan" and the "meat packing district" and i had almost no idea what she was talking about (i'll thank sex and the city for having some cognition).. but it seemed so neat to know about a place that seems so far away. and she lived there for 6 years. my friend kelly picked up and moved to new york and loves it. i wanted to take that internship in new york... but that fell through too. who knows, maybe staying here for a long time means i'll end up somewhere else for the future. but today i felt very sheltered.. like i was ready to be distant from LA... which is funny because it's where everyone wants to be.
then i got to thinking. i've never really been in a place where i get packages from home. i mean.. trade off.. i go home and often time i'll get sent home with lots of things to take home... but getting packages and care packages are nice. granted my parents aren't really care packagey types.. but maybe my friends are? who knows. sometimes i'd get stuff from my mom while i was in san diego, but most of the time it was when i needed stuff. new glasses, contacts, checks. etc etc etc. nothing fun. once i got fudge from benji's mom, and that was awesome. BUT i digress... this isn't about lack of love from my parents.. but the fact that i haven't really been anywhere far enough to be in a position to be sent care packages. like, i only went to school in san diego, and then immediately came back to LA. there's so many people here (at my work.. not LA) that aren't from around here, which i always immediately assume they are. their parents send them cute little packages and it seems like they're living this great life in this new fun place. maybe this is why i wanted to go to school in minnesota, go somewhere different, try something new... but that didn't pan out. i'd never move to minnesota now, but it would be fun to live elsewhere, maybe san diego again, or somewhere like boston or new york. i wonder if i'd be able to stand the cold. people always seem so well traveled, this girl was having this conversation about the "lower east side" and "manhattan" and the "meat packing district" and i had almost no idea what she was talking about (i'll thank sex and the city for having some cognition).. but it seemed so neat to know about a place that seems so far away. and she lived there for 6 years. my friend kelly picked up and moved to new york and loves it. i wanted to take that internship in new york... but that fell through too. who knows, maybe staying here for a long time means i'll end up somewhere else for the future. but today i felt very sheltered.. like i was ready to be distant from LA... which is funny because it's where everyone wants to be.
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