Lessons in How to Make Friends at Work.



This is especially important when you're the new kid at school and no one's really talking to you. That's an exaggeration because people are talking to me, it's just hard because of the circumstances, which is fine, because I could get to know them slowly, but I just wanted to speed up the process a little.

Food, and especially sweets, I find, are the easiest way to make friends. Granted this is not the reason why I made them, but it doesn't hurt. I've been wanting to do it for awhile ever since I saw this post on bakerella's blogspot. I didn't have the supplies, and when I did, I didn't have the time. I finally just did it. I was aiming for having them at a dinner party, but I never factor in "cooling" and so it didn't really get them done in time. They're not quite as pretty as bakerella's and I'm not quite sure how to ever make them that pretty. But they tasted pretty awesome and I got lots of compliments on them. Yay. And while I didn't really make any life long friends, people were a bit nicer to me at work. It's a good way to start off demonstrating that you're nice too and not just "mean work jean". Either way, it was a fun project and I needed to take them to work and pass them out so I didn't eat them all while sitting on the couch crying over the Bachelorette (did anyone see that shiz?!) or my life or whatever.

So that was my first and maybe last (for awhile) attempt at cake pops. They're kind of a little bit more labor intensive than anything else, and I'm becoming increasingly lazy/busy. Although I do have leftover popsicle sticks left over. Maybe I'll try regular chocolate cake. It's not as moist (*moist*) since red velvet is generally liquidier and maybe that will make it a tad easier. But damn is candy coating messy!

One more note for tonight - a 3 people from my old jobby got invited to join the Academy! Or should I say "THE" Academy. I know that there are tons of people in the academy, and a few people I know already are, but it's still an honor no matter what. And strange to think that I "know" people in THE Academy. haha. But they really are the shiznits. They're so money and they don't even know it. Okay, some of them know it, but they're pretty effing awesome all the same. Jet Li's also on that list - man.. what if I had gotten that job as his assistant? And Jason Reitman. What if I had talked to him that one time I scorekept his hockey game about work and job stuff? Right before he hit it...bigtime. Whoa. I seem so "LA" HAH. Not that it makes a big difference whether they're in THE Academy or not because they're already kind of a big deal, but it's just interesting to think about since this is the year they got invited. Regardless, congrats to Kelly Port, Doug Roble and Otay!!! Whoa, snazzy.. they have their own Variety profiles if you click on their names. Money.

OOH OOH OOH... lookee what I found. There's a few people here that I would want to send this to, well, really, one in particular, but I would never. I don't have those kind of balls, but I bet Dorina would tell me if I did that would make me awesome. HAH.



Honestly, I might not agree, but I like it regardless, it's funny.

Guess who's not sleeping?! ME. boo. I really should be sleeping because I need to be at the top of my A game, but I like staying up and having fun on the internets. Especially now that I have to actually work work, and don't have much time for stalking people - err.. I mean, cruising the internet during the day, it leaves me no other choice than to do it late at night. Oops.

I survived my first "real" week at new job. Actually, technically my first "real" week is this week, because the first 3 days of this past week didn't really count. Last Friday, I left work at 9:30pm and was too pooped to do anything, so I watched Girl Next Door with the roommate(s). (Yea, I said it.) I wonder if this Friday and weekend I will just be so plain damn exhausted. I'm going to have to get used to real work again, and then some. I remember when I would rack up the hours when I worked on Pirates, or the 90 hour work week I put in before the Halloween party, or the crazy stuff I did before SIGGRAPH - and yet it never quite tired me out like this. Okay, maybe it did and I just can't remember, so in a year or two, I'll be like "yea.. that was a piece of cake." There was a little bit of drama in the workplace, and I had a few silent mental crises, but it might turn out okay. One thing I'm going to have to change (effective now... did you notice?!) Is that I'm going to have to stop typing in all lower case. I mean, I'm fully capable of typing properly, but I would do the all lower case because I thought it was "cute." In chats, or non-important emails. But now that I take notes ALL the time, I sometimes slip into the "quick" habit of all lower case format, and then it's a huge pain in the ass to go back and edit. So I'm trying to be efficient.

I went to a "dinner party" (not the "adult" version because it was a potluck and we mostly stood around a counter and ate off paper plates, but that's okay) and towards the end of the night the conversation veered towards boys/relationships/dating etc. I'm a pretty non-girly person, sometimes. Among some of my friends, I'm the ridiculous girly silly one. Among other of my friends, I'm the weird cold one. I think that's strange that I can be so, varied. I was definitely a little bit of a whiney mess on Friday (I'm going to attribute it to my tiredness.) And it was a little out of character for my friend who had to deal with it that never encountered it before. It was amusing to listen to said friend react. And also put me in my place because I felt like a RetardFace for being that way. Tonight's conversation helped reinforce just how "crazy" girls are. Some of them REALLY are, and I don't get it because I'm so not crazy like that, yet I'm in the same pool as they are, or maybe even worse. (And by worse, I simply mean not going on any dates at all.) I'm not sure where I stand on this whole dating thing. While I'm not all crazy about it, I would like someone who "get me" as Angelee likes to put it. That's not such a bad thing. There is something to be said for such companionship. Finding that person is hard and it's weird because I also don't really try that hard, so what am I complaining about. Who knows. Maybe because I feel like I "try", but I'm really not, or I feel like I shouldn't have to, but I'm not really better than that. Who knows, I don't, and at this point, I'm just rambling so I'll stop now.

Here's a fun story for you.

A week or two ago, I met this guy in the grocery store. In an very unlike me way, I made eye contact, smiled, and GBboy responded well. Good job. We chatted, I ended up giving him my number (I told you, SO not me.) and we said we'd do coffee the next day because we found out we worked down the street from each other. We called and texted and ended meeting up, and I found out that this is not the person for me. Not because he was a bad person, but just because we are at different places in our lives and where he is in his life, is so not anywhere I can be. He may have sensed that I wasn't into it, or maybe he wasn't, but GBboy mentioned I should call him later, and I may have said yes or no, I can't remember, but bottom line is, if he was interested, he should done something about it. Which he didn't, and I was perfectly fine with. I texted him later, because I have some weird issue about maintaining relationships, or I felt sorry for him and thought he might need a friend, or I was just trying to "practice" or I secretly wanted his attention because I wasn't getting it. Who knows, I could have deep issues. And then on a drunken party night, I called him when I got home at 2:30am. Nothing good happens after 2am I was bored and tipsy and I do stupid thing when I get bored. I woke him up and he was all about talking to me, even though I insisted he should go back to sleep. (Oh and this was after I texted him asking what he was up to that night and I got the reply "parting!!!!" <-- no I did not spell that wrong.) Obviously if I'm calling at 2:30am, my intentions of wanting to hang out are kind of clear, but he was in BFE. He said I should go meet him up there, to which my reply was "Hell No." And then he asked if he got all his stuff together and drove down here, if I would be awake and I said "Nope, I'll be sleeping." GBboy kept trying to get me to go there to BFE and get him, and even pulled out some "My mother is sick in Venice and needs a kidney. Can you come get me so that I can give her my kidney?" And when I said no, he tells me "It'll be your fault when my mom dies." and then later on "So, you saw right through my lie, huh?" Umm.. no, shit. What?! Who does/says things like that. Or really, who says things like that and expects someone to fall for them. He asked if we could hang out the next day, and I think I may have said yes, but before a certain time (hey, I'm a busy girl) and yet he still didn't call. Failure to follow through. But I'm okay, because I was planning on avoiding the call anyways. But really?! Is this what people who are actively trying to find a soul mate deal with? Cuz this is TERRIBLE. Needlessly to say I am DONE with GBboy. Drunk, bored, or whatever. Today when I was at the store, I was kind of scanning the area though. I hope I don't have to find a new grocery store, but I won't. Because this whole thing is amusing to me.

Okay - that was my story for today. I'll leave you with one more excerpt.

ben: oh man. im watching the last episode of dawson's creek
ben: tear!
Jean: haha
Jean: yea.. that shit is terrible
Jean: the ending sucked
ben: youre ridiculous
ben: pacey + joey ftw!
Jean: LAME
Jean: nicole said she watched it yesterday at 2am
Jean: and cried
Jean: you guys are gay
ben: ive already teared up a bit
ben: when jack finds out jen is gonna die
ben: so sad!
Jean: so gay!
ben: yeh whatever
ben: you have a cold heart

Nicole cried for A HALF HOUR over this same episode, and when I told her she was lame, she also told me I have no heart. I'm never going to find someone. Haha.

"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story."

argument #184 for why i need an iphone. today i totally lamented about needing to come into work at early o'clock today. but i was kind of okay with it because i was stoked to be "doing something" after the past few months of being a little slow, and then past 3 days of being by myself in the office - i kind of sort of want to be not lazy. well.. i guess productive, so i can feel accomplished.

i've been having trouble sleeping lately. like i'll just wake up really early and panicked, only to find out it's way early. the other day i woke up in the middle of the night feeling really parched and panicked (flashback to the babysitter's club where stacey found out she had diabetes and kept dreaming she was a plant) and thought i was late to work until it took me a few seconds to realize it was still dark outside. and then woke up again about an hour too early. luckily i'm really good at going back to sleep, unfortunately for me, too good - sometimes i end up sleeping way longer than i should have. today i woke up at 6:10am when i set my alarm for 6:30. meh. i showered, got ready. and while it's nice waking up a little early so i can take my time and not feel rushed (especially with my gimpy self), waking up in the morning has never been my strong point. i take some time to eat breakfast and that makes me a tad later than "responsible jean" was planning for. but "hungry jean" tried to tell "responsible jean" that breakfast was necessary so you weren't thinking about how hungry you were all day when you're trying to work.

i come in the office a few minutes before i'm supposed to get here. and no one's here. beth put the idea in my head and asked if there was any hazing going on, and there has been none - at least in the traditional outright blatant form. i thought.. hmm. maybe this is their way of hazing... maybe they do calls in editorial, and no one told me. and my computer finally decides to work and tells me that the new plan is to come in at 8:30 instead to prep for the 9am call. uGH. this email went out at 9:30pm at night - and while i wasn't asleep, i had stopped checking mail. IF i had an iphone, this would not have been a problem. oh july 11th - hurry up and come soon.

it's 8:35 and still no one is here. *sigh.. oh well. at least i look like i care right? positive attitude is everything. keep that in mind.

i'm glad that "hungry jean" won out this morning or else i would be really upset.

i really should be sleeping, but i'm not. haha.. surprise, surprise. i REALLY was trying to be good because tomorrow (err.. today) is the first day of my new job. so i HAVE to be on time, and i should probably be all perky and refreshed, not groggy and sad. but i think i'm also not stressing out because the crew i'm working with isn't in the office until wednesday, so a little less stressful while trying to get situated.

anyways.. last friday (the 13th!!) was my last day at old job. my last day was originally going to be a tuesday, so that extra few days were kind of like cake, has i had already mentally checked out four months ago.. err.. i mean a week or two earlier. haha.. uhh what? just kidding. anyways.. while i'm not going to post the pictures of the lunch of the after work mayhem, i did make sort of a little photo archive of some "last day things"... these seem to work better for me than words.

my last bagel wednesday (with my own egg salad, but "community" tomatoes!) and a very kind and thoughtful breakfast present from vala: cheddar bacon scones from three square. they're SUPER scrumptious. (yea.. i don't normally use words like that. they MUST be good.)

my shrine from/of(?) drawings that vinnie had left me. (before he got the can.. haha).. i just kept them up at my desk for decoration and for fun. my final timecard that i submitted friday morning. and my last day notification email that the coordinators send out to tell the necessary people that you're leaving so they can deactivate you in the system. there's a section that says "reason for leaving" and the "resignation" part of it jumps out at me.

after i sent out my "bummer" email, and i logged out, this kind of hit me because it would be the last time i was logging out. not "really" true because i vpn'ed in tonight to check out an email reply or two. but my (really loud) work computer seemed a little sad as i was logging out of it for the last time. the screen fades to black and white, and it asks me if i really want to log out. almost as a metaphor asking me if i really know what i'm doing.

some more desk decoration. in additional to the bubble bottle wrappers we had for racer, dre and i went to szechwan for lunch one day and we got these fortune cookies. i thought they were really cute as a pair and really were meant for us as us finding each other. (aww.. so cute.. barf.) anyhoo, i left them at my desk for the next person to find. or just to have andrea miss me. although she probably doesn't think as much about these fortunes as i do. cuz i'm a dork. my "last" time at the firehouse. i might end up there again. but it's different going there as someone not from DD. i think it means a little less. and it's a little weird to be thinking that i won't be going there so frequently again. oh firehouse, i'll miss walking past you and giggling every time i see the logo that served as the backdrop for erotic photo hunt.

GEEZ. who knew that i was such an emotional sap. i'm so lame. you'd think that i really didn't want to leave or something, even though at time in the past 4 months (and even a little in the past year) i was kind of miserable. and i was a little sad when i looked at a production schedule of a show i really wanted to work on, and saw the expansion and knew that one of those slots could have been my name. BOO. but i also have to keep thinking that this is for the best. you know how they say that the grass is greener on the other side? this might be one of those things. i broke free, but i realized that what i had might not have been so bad. of course, it's just my comfort zone, and my feeling of familiarity, and i'll just have to get over it. but it was nice while it lasted. and it was such a huge part of my life. and it's also nice to get those emails telling me that i'm already missed, and hearing that people weren't happy that i was leaving. partially because i am a greedy attention whore, and partially because it's nice to know that people appreciate you, especially when you think that you're not really that big of a deal. it's nice to know that sometimes, you kind of are.

okay.. enough sappy crap. want to read something that will make you laugh?

haha.. so there's this person at work who i'd always thought was interesting and with me leaving and what not, it's almost like a do or die situation. you only have so many days left to talk/hang out with said person. so.. i'm kind of lame when it comes to the opposite sex. much like my humor, my flirting skills are that of a 12 year old boy. they suck. so.. awhile back i had asked for a can of tuna from mr. healthy, and i figured in my last week, it'd be a nice/cute/endearing/are we gonna make babies? gesture to give him a can back. it was an excuse to talk to him basically. we chatted, and he gave me back yet another can of tuna, and i jokingly asked him to sign it. so.. not that i'm coveting this can or anything.. but it just makes me laugh. because it reminds me of the beginning of felicity, where she's just staring at ben who she's watched FOREVER and just wanting to talking to him and it's another do or die situation. and secretly ... maybe i was hoping he's write his phone number on it, or some really great message. i think it really makes me laugh, because maybe i contemplated writing on the initial can of tuna, the same message than ben wrote felicity's yearbook. i mean.. if i got that from him that might just be crazy. but my daydreams are a little ridiculous.

Dear FelicityJean,

Here it goes. I watched you for four years, always wondered what you were like, and what was going on in your mind all that time when you were so quiet, just thinking. Drawing in your notebook. I should've just asked you, but I never asked you. So now, four years later, I don't even know you. But I admire you. Well, that makes me sound crazy, but I'm okay with that. So take care of yourself.

Love,
BenTuna Can Guy

P.S. I would've said, "Keep in touch," but unfortunately, we were never in touch.

yup, definitely time for bed now.

so i think i've officially given up trying to post about seattle. i can't blog or recap things quite like i used to. it's a combination of being lazy and busy. or at least that's what i tell myself. plus - you always want it to be really good - and i don't have the time or energy for really good sometimes. anyhoo. you can re-live through my pictures of trip1 and trip2. most people have probably seen these already since there's like 3 people who read my blog now (i used to have soooo many fans.. :P) but i'm okay with that. my dad used to read it a lot, and i used to gripe about family stuff a lot. the other day we were talking about my sister's blog, and he asked me how my blog was doing. i quickly tried to scan in my brain to see if i had posted anything embarrassing , but i think i'm okay. plus.. i don't think he's really gonna check it. are you? daddy? are you reading this? haha.

so really.. i wanted to blog to whine. i'm not really doing so well. last tuesday i woke up with this weird lower back pain - but it was kind of minor, so i just muscled through it. it proceeded to get worse, so on wednesday i went to the chiropractor. he told me i torqued my pelvis. yea.. sounds bad. well.. sounds like i did something "fun" - but i didn't. not in the least. too bad. hah. (dad.. are you actually reading this?) i went to the chiropractor again on friday, and it kind of feels less hurty sometimes, but it's kind of always there. mostly in pain when i have to stand up or sit down (the contracting/motion of my lower back) - but now it's gotten to be worse i think, and there's a dull pain when i'm just sitting. and it's starting to radiate into my left leg and arm. boo! what if i'm dying? or becoming paralyzed. uGH. i moved my chiropractor appt from tomorrow to today, and we'll see what he has to say to me. he'll probably chastise me more for not exercising, but i swear that i can't really move much - how am i supposed to exercise? but he's probably right - i walked (sort of speedily) for 30 minutes yesterday, and felt better... but then i went home and sat and probably effed it all up, because, today, i want to cry. :(

i feel like a old lady/pregnant lady (one of the two, not both) because i have a hard time standing up or moving, and i have to use my arms a lot to hoist myself up since my lower back's motion is pretty limited. poop. it's pretty amusing if you're hanging around me a lot to see how gimpy/broken i am. i'm hoping it won't affect my new job next week.. cuz that's gonna suck. i'm supposed to be top notch and i'm all broken! BOO.

this makes me feel a little better though, i like my friends:

De: why are you sore
jean: i torqued my pelvis or something.. i dunno.. but it affects my whole lower back and kind of sucks.. i feel like an old lady
De: i thought that you did hook up with that dude
De: wow he put it on you good enough to torque a pelvis
jean: har har har
jean: i wish.
De: haha
De: now you wish
De: what a perv
jean: well.. if i'm going to be in this much pain - i at least wish i did something fun to deserve it
jean: but i just woke up and it was like this.
De: wow

so this is why you don't leave me alone and bored for 2 weeks while you go to hawaii.

so there's always the thing where you prank someone's office when they leave for a substantial vacation. only recently have we started doing that at our work. i think it's mostly a tradition that got brought in with the "new additions" to the company. which is kind of ironic, but that's another story. anyways.. i stole this idea of an office prank from someone else, but i fully executed it. since he shares his office, i could only do half, but it's okay.. because his desk, phone, chair, toys.. they're in the streamer forest somewhere.

just so you don't think i'm a total slacker - i did decorate and organize a few things.. so you know.. the me organizing your office does come at a certain price.

i did it all by myself.. i had waaay too much time on my hands. and i feel a tiny tinge of guilty only because my boss is going to have to catch up on 2 weeks worth of stuff, and not be able to just come in and do it. oops. i don't know if i would have did this to my old boss - he probably would have not been too happy. but my current (soon to be ex!.. yikes!) boss will enjoy this. i hope. haha.

so yea.. this is my last week at work. crazy. tomorrow's my last monday. weird.

so it's day -1 at new job. i don't officially start until the 16th - but they're going on a shoot next week and wanted to me to get lay of the land today.

it's daunting to come into a new environment. while i'm on a lot, i'm not really an employee of the lot, and that's weird to me too. it's hard not knowing where everything is already, but i'm sure i'll have a few days to poke around... maybe. hopefully i get a tour. and i heard there's a gym on the lot - maybe i'll use it. maybe.

there are pros and cons to everything. (note: these really are minor things and meant to be for your amusement only.) i'm gonna have to get used to washing my own dishes and possibly making pots of coffee myself. although the fridge is stocked way better, and i can eat pretty much anything in it without someone sending angry emails to "life" about how their food got stolen. i also got lunch provided for me today, so score 1 point for new job. i also sat through a session and took notes, which isn't the funnest, but could be educational. plus i'll get to hear sexy british accents during conference calls.

i was a little freaked out this morning, but i think that it's gonna be okay. i got my new ID badge (still awful) and a parking sticker. this will be good. and if not (but it will!), it's for 5 months. i can deal for 5 months right? or it might just be the best thing that happened to me... check me out in november :P

so last week at lunch with my daddy, i got this in my fortune cookie. (in which i totally used my method for selecting fortune cookies) and while i don't really believe in fortune cookies or horoscopes or stuff that foresee the future, sometimes i think part of me has a little hope. my dad got something that he said should be mine, but it wasn't this, so i was like "no, this is my fortune."

so.. i guess it kind of worked, cuz i have a new job. i haven't told a lot of people, but no one really reads this blog, and i already told my boss - so i'm safe to blog about it. :) i'm going to be working in the same field, sort of, but on the client side instead of the vendor side. so i think that hopefully it'll will a step towards the direction that i eventually want my career to move in to, or else i will decide that i don't like it, and be able to find that new career path.

i'm kind of excited, but i'm also kind of freaked out. it's my first "career" move. i will have been at my current company for 3 years 6 months and 1 week. that's kind of a long time, it'll be a big change. i've left working at jobs before, but never a career job - the gap, hockey scorekeeping, china inn, the temp job. but each time i was leaving for something that i had to leave for, or something that was definitely bigger and better, or something that was a "real" job. i've never had to leave a "real" job before... and it's weird. especially since i'm going to be doing what is basically considered a freelance position. i know that "change is good", but sometimes i don't like change. especially when it seems like what you're going towards is instability. i know i'll be fine, and i'm like 97% positive that this is a great thing for me. but like everything else, i'm always really cautious.

so long rambling cut short, i start my new job on the 11th. crazy.. cross your fingers for me. i'm taking a pay cut, so i might not be able to go out as much, but i should be trying to tone it down anyways. so maybe it's a blessing in disguise. that is if i don't get evicted for not being able to pay rent. hah.

save me i'm lost
oh lord i've been waiting for you
i'll pay any cost
save me from being confused
show me what i'm looking for
show me what i'm looking for