anyways.. last friday (the 13th!!) was my last day at old job. my last day was originally going to be a tuesday, so that extra few days were kind of like cake, has i had already mentally checked out four months ago.. err.. i mean a week or two earlier. haha.. uhh what? just kidding. anyways.. while i'm not going to post the pictures of the lunch of the after work mayhem, i did make sort of a little photo archive of some "last day things"... these seem to work better for me than words.
my last bagel wednesday (with my own egg salad, but "community" tomatoes!) and a very kind and thoughtful breakfast present from vala: cheddar bacon scones from three square. they're SUPER scrumptious. (yea.. i don't normally use words like that. they MUST be good.)
my shrine from/of(?) drawings that vinnie had left me. (before he got the can.. haha).. i just kept them up at my desk for decoration and for fun. my final timecard that i submitted friday morning. and my last day notification email that the coordinators send out to tell the necessary people that you're leaving so they can deactivate you in the system. there's a section that says "reason for leaving" and the "resignation" part of it jumps out at me.
after i sent out my "bummer" email, and i logged out, this kind of hit me because it would be the last time i was logging out. not "really" true because i vpn'ed in tonight to check out an email reply or two. but my (really loud) work computer seemed a little sad as i was logging out of it for the last time. the screen fades to black and white, and it asks me if i really want to log out. almost as a metaphor asking me if i really know what i'm doing.
some more desk decoration. in additional to the bubble bottle wrappers we had for racer, dre and i went to szechwan for lunch one day and we got these fortune cookies. i thought they were really cute as a pair and really were meant for us as us finding each other. (aww.. so cute.. barf.) anyhoo, i left them at my desk for the next person to find. or just to have andrea miss me. although she probably doesn't think as much about these fortunes as i do. cuz i'm a dork. my "last" time at the firehouse. i might end up there again. but it's different going there as someone not from DD. i think it means a little less. and it's a little weird to be thinking that i won't be going there so frequently again. oh firehouse, i'll miss walking past you and giggling every time i see the logo that served as the backdrop for erotic photo hunt.
GEEZ. who knew that i was such an emotional sap. i'm so lame. you'd think that i really didn't want to leave or something, even though at time in the past 4 months (and even a little in the past year) i was kind of miserable. and i was a little sad when i looked at a production schedule of a show i really wanted to work on, and saw the expansion and knew that one of those slots could have been my name. BOO. but i also have to keep thinking that this is for the best. you know how they say that the grass is greener on the other side? this might be one of those things. i broke free, but i realized that what i had might not have been so bad. of course, it's just my comfort zone, and my feeling of familiarity, and i'll just have to get over it. but it was nice while it lasted. and it was such a huge part of my life. and it's also nice to get those emails telling me that i'm already missed, and hearing that people weren't happy that i was leaving. partially because i am a greedy attention whore, and partially because it's nice to know that people appreciate you, especially when you think that you're not really that big of a deal. it's nice to know that sometimes, you kind of are.
okay.. enough sappy crap. want to read something that will make you laugh?
haha.. so there's this person at work who i'd always thought was interesting and with me leaving and what not, it's almost like a do or die situation. you only have so many days left to talk/hang out with said person. so.. i'm kind of lame when it comes to the opposite sex. much like my humor, my flirting skills are that of a 12 year old boy. they suck. so.. awhile back i had asked for a can of tuna from mr.
healthy, and i figured in my last week, it'd be a nice/cute/endearing/are we gonna make babies? gesture to give him a can back. it was an excuse to talk to him basically. we chatted, and he gave me back yet another can of tuna, and i jokingly asked him to sign it. so.. not that i'm coveting this can or anything.. but it just makes me laugh. because it reminds me of the beginning of felicity, where she's just staring at ben who she's watched FOREVER and just wanting to talking to him and it's another do or die situation. and secretly ... maybe i was hoping he's write his phone number on it, or some really great message. i think it really makes me laugh, because maybe i contemplated writing on the initial can of tuna, the same message than ben wrote felicity's yearbook. i mean.. if i got that from him that might just be crazy. but my daydreams are a little ridiculous.Dear
Here it goes. I watched you for four years, always wondered what you were like, and what was going on in your mind all that time when you were so quiet, just thinking. Drawing in your notebook. I should've just asked you, but I never asked you. So now, four years later, I don't even know you. But I admire you. Well, that makes me sound crazy, but I'm okay with that. So take care of yourself.
Love,
P.S. I would've said, "Keep in touch," but unfortunately, we were never in touch.
yup, definitely time for bed now.
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