so it's a little past 4am and i just finished reading harry potter order of the phoenix. yea i know.. i'm a weirdo. i haven't read this much since... the babysitter's club i think. too bad they can't make textbooks this interesting. but anyways.. after nicole's post (way back when) i was convinced that i thought i knew who died.. but i guess not. it's still pretty sad though. and too bad they had to make the asian girl a bitch.. but whatever. now i need something new to read.. but i'm glad i finished it.. i just had to, it was killing me. it was so suspenseful too.. ugh.. i'm such a nerd.

anyhow.. on wednesday i went to the tony lucca show with ann at hotel cafe. ahh.. memories. i ran into seth from edmonds when i walked by to go see if susan was there, and it was good chatting with him. some of the people i had worked with had gotten laid off, who knows what can happen in a year huh? but it was good chatting with him. went back to the tony lucca show, 3 other groups/guys perform before him. i really liked the first group- ben shore (?).. and everyone else was pretty good, tony said something about his listening party and how JC was going to be here. *grumble* and it was just a night of enjoyable music. i sat way up in front on the floor, which made me quite self-concious... but i'm sure no one noticed me, as usual. i can't quite say that i felt the same way last year at the jason mraz hotel cafe show, and that it wasn't quite as good. maybe i'm just too biased.. or maybe my expectations were too high. i was also really tired and had trouble paying attention.. so maybe that too.. i don't know. my attention span has been getting effectively shorter though. hmm...

the job search is bumping along- at a mediocre pace. but i guess i can't really expect too much.. either because i'm too picky, not marketable enough or the economy sucks. and i'm lazy. but i had an interview on wednesday for a part time paid internship. it was an office set up in an apartment building (which i'm learning is more and more common i guess.. for smaller places) and the lady made me wait half an hour.. it just kind of made me not so excited. but i had the interview, and although i think i did okay, i probably didn't seem as excited as i should have been. and while i didn't need to outright lie, it wouldn't have hurt to fake it. and then if i got it, i could always turn it down later. but i can't do anything abou tit now, so i'll just have to wait and see if she calls. i have another interview tomorrow/today (friday) which is also an office set up in a residence as well i suppose. interesting. it's like a party/event planning/promotions place.. but it's a full time job. of what i'm not exactly sure. but i guess we'll find out.. it seems interesting and alright. i just don't know why they would really want to promote events 5 nights a week. isn't that a little much? but whatever... i'm just going to have to remember to fake it. smile and nod jean. smile and nod. but cross your fingers and wish me good luck. having a real job would be good.. even if it wasn't the most ideal one at first right?

and what blog of mine wouldn't be complete without my usual whining. not that i am really whining, but just something that i was thinking about. that everyone wants to be part of something. but usually most people are part of something or friends with someone. but it always seems like it's not good enough and they want to be part of whatever else someone else is in, or be friends with more than just their friends. i always had a big problem with this in middle school, and i wonder if its just me and my crazy problems, or do other people want this too. i mean.. i guess it's part of that whole "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" or something like that. or maybe it's just the longing and desire to be liked/loved/belong. and you always want to be part of something that you're not..but no one can ever be part of everything, but yet you always wish you were. you eventually must choose, and then live a life of "what-ifs" but maybe some people (me) tend to dwell on it more than others, and that's where the difference lies. i don't know. i think about weird things late at night.