Where does all my time really go? I feel like I'm always doing some kind of work, but really I have nothing to show for it. I'm still always doing my homework at the last minute, but what do I spend the rest of my time doing? Sleeping? Eating? Talking to friends? Because I don't really do much of those other things constantly, just sporadically. hmm... But yes.. I have a 7 page take home midterm due tomorrow. And I've been sleeping all day because I feel so sickly and crappy. Ew... it is no fun being sick.

Hmm... so what have I been up to lately. Last week I was sleeping a lot so that I wouldn't get sick since both Diana and Michele were sick, and I thought I was in the clear, but alas Monday morning, it's overcome me. Anyways.. Friday I saw SUM 41 with Kimmy and Vivian. It was super fun, but we all came home bruised and battered. I was in the pit during gob and Unwritten Law and had to get out to take a breather because I was too busy fighting for my life to enjoy the music. But I went back in before SUM 41 and found Kimmy and Tommy. And Tommy was there to protect us (thanks!) and he was so great, and Kimmy and I really enjoyed it. Although, towards the end the millionth crowd surfer came by and landed on my and split my lip. That was no fun...but it's mostly healed now, so I'm okay. :)

Saturday I was at the Sports Arena getting *NSYNC tix with Ann and Long. We didn't get as good tickets as we hoped, but hopefully we'll get better ones later, and then worked at the swim meet with my assinine boss, and came home, slept, party hopped a little, but nothing too fun. I really should have just stayed at home. Although I did drop by Kari's 21st birthday party!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARI! For those of you who don't know, Kari is a super star water polo player. :) My mommy also left for Taiwan on Saturday... sad I didn't get to say goodbye to her because I called too late because I was at work. sucks.. but I'm sure I'll see her soon. She's going to be there for Chinese New Year, I bet that'll be fun. I also went to Best Buy and got the Mest and Hoobastank cd's... they're awesome.. you should go out and get them... right now... go!
Sunday I worked on my newsletter, did Costco with Sakura and did the DCM thing. It was pretty good, we made $55 for PTP with not so much effort, yay! Beth also came down and afterwards we chilled, she watched me clean, and we went to bed at 5am. (yikes) She also gave me a bunch of butt ugly pictures of me at random CKI events. haha.

Monday, I woke up quite sick, went to class, had lunch at Roberto's with Beth, more class and then napped before Circle K. Went to Ichiban's and Target with Vivian. I got *NSYNC Valentine's Day cards... sweet! They're so awesome, and I'm super excited... so I'm going to be on a card giving rampage. heheheheh.. yeeeeeesssss.. And then today I tried to do my midterm, which I easily should have done during the day... but didn't because I'm lame. I slept, which is great for me, but I'm sure wouldn't make a good excuse for my teachers. Then I went over to the SMAC house.. (haha) and watched Battlebots which is a pretty entertaining show. It's pretty cool though, the guys are being sponsored to build a battlebot and have been to the show and all that. It's pretty amazing what some of these people can do. Then we watched Mikey play Grand Theft Auto III which is hilarious. You run around, steal cars, avoid popo, try to get with hookers, and beat people up. There's more to it than that.. but it's a funny game. I really don't want to do my school work. I really wish sometimes you could just be sick and turn in assignments later without needing to be on a death bed.

Shit.. life can be pretty sucky sometimes. I guess I'm just a in a put down kind of mood because I feel so swamped. I don't know. Everyone seems to have all their shit together except for me. But I know in my head that that's not true, but I guess in my heart it's not the same. And all I can think about nowadays is how nice it would be to have a boyfriend. Although I swear that I had given up on guys and just wait around until the right one comes, like everyone says I should, but really... how long does someone have to wait. Honestly... I'm sick of waiting. So I guess this is why I've stopped being interested in the random everyday gossip of my friends and their current interests. People hook up with other people and complain that there's nothing more, and it makes me I dunno... sad, confused, angry.. I don't really know. Where at the same time that I want that too, I'm not really the "hook-up" kind of person. Like sometimes I feel like I should stop being so apprehensive, but also... I know I'm not that kind of girl, and I really don't want to be, but then what's the alternative. I sit around and whine, when I could go and find one, but really I'm not the go get 'em type. And then someone else said to me that maybe I should lower my standards... and is that what I want? Just to have some guy just to have a guy, but not really be happy. I don't know. Like I guess it's just because I'm lonely, and I feel like I really have no one. Like if I constantly had my friends around, it wouldn't be so bad. But everyone's busy, and has their own schedules, and they don't have time for me. Which I can't blame them, but I guess with a person who's obligated to have time for you, it's different. And sometimes kind of nice. *sigh.. why am I so lame... can someone answer me that? Awhile ago I told Kimmy that I just wanted to surround myself with people that make me implicitly happy, but I guess I really didn't stick to that because my loneliness got the best of me. So I guess my greatest fear really is being lonely. I guess I have to stop this mode of thinking that if someone doesn't like me it's them and not me, and it's their loss. Like Kristen says I have to love myself first and foremost. But I guess it's not always so easy. *boo.. I had being all philosophical. I need a blogger that talks back.

On a brighter note, my daddy might come visit me this weekend. I figured I'd invite him to come down since he was sort of alone in the house, although I'm sure he enjoys it. But Michele's mom is here and she was cooking for Michele and it made me miss my daddy... so maybe we'll get to do some quality bonding time.. hehe :)