sorry for that angry burst of late night aggravation and insanity. in a town where EVERYONE is trying to be someone and trying to "make it" .. it's so hard to hear someone's relatively "easy" plight when you feel like you are just sitting here rotting. i remember when we went to go see napoleon dynamite @ the ucla free screening, it was filled with film students of sorts, and when they said it had been written by a 24 year old film student and his wife, i saw them all cringe and beth commented about how green they must all be. sitting there.. "it could be me" but sorry.. no it's not. that's me right now.

maybe it's not meant to be for me to do what i want to do. there is this depressing ass article about how if you want to do what you love, you will starve. gee that's great, thanks for the pep talk. i don't know man.. i just don't know. i'm sure some things look harder than they seem, and not everything is so easy, but sometimes it just is. i've noticed though, that when things are going to work out, they work out rather quickly. i just have to wait for the right moment. i hope it friggin comes soon.