i'm tired... i just really want to sleep right now. it's another day where i wish i had 2 more hours instead of 4 (isn't that everyday?)

i spent a little bit of stalking.. not for cute boys, but just random people. it's interesting to read other people's blogs that you kind of know, but not really... and then you feel like you know them so well... but you hardly or may not even talk to them at all, they may not even know you exist, but yet you know all about them. it almost makes them a celebrity of some sort, but they're not, so it's weird. before i was really good friends with nicole i still used to read her blog all the time (i've told her this before, so hopefully she won't get too freaked out by it) so i felt like i "knew" her before i really knew her. hahah. i think the same with pete too. when he was the exaulted trustee we used to stalk him on his page.. and then we realized he could track who was looking at his site and i figured i might as well fess up and start talking to him. maybe that's something i should be regretting :P jk.

it's also weird because when you read stuff of people's you assume you know what they're talking about, or who they're writing to, and it could be a totally different situation. stuff gets totally misconstrued in print, especially when you're trying to be all sly and vague. or, sometimes it's painfully obvious what stuff is about, but you think you're being all sly and no one can figure it out... but oh.. people can. i dunno.. i was just reading a lot of different people's stuff.. and sometimes i wonder who's reading mine. obviously the people who are leaving comments or say to me "so in your blog" blah blah blah whatever.. but yea.. it's weird because you would think "why would you read blogs of people you don't know" maybe you know them, but not too well, or you know of them.. it's interesting though.

i also think that it's funny that all lot of people whine or complain (myself included i realize) about a lot of stuff, but i wonder if they really mean it. or do they just say it because they can, because they can whine without anyone saying anything. people write about their unhappiness in their life, how they're lonely, how no one cares for them, what they wish other people would do, or what things would happen. and you think people are so together, but then they write about how miserable their life is. you almost don't believe it. or you know that people write about how great their life is, but really it's just a big waste of space.

they had this thing on kevin & bean once about weblogs and why people have them... and i dont' quite remember people's answer, but i always wonder if i were to call up what would i say. because i want to keep in touch with my friends? because i like having an audience? because i like being able to complain without someone talking back? because it gives me something to do at work? because i talk a lot and this is just one more place that i can do it? because all of my friends do? because it makes me feel special? and then when people leave comments is that like having an actual conversation?

i don't know where this is going aymore... i'm just rambling.. that is also another freedom my blogger allows me. :)

three and a half hours to go.....