courtesy of joan.. love it.

hello blog!!

sorry i sort of semi-abandoned you. it's a combination of myspace and life in general. things are sort of hectic and sometimes i don't have the time to blog the "real things" just the stupid little silly blogs - and that's what i do on myspace. sorry. maybe i'll do a picture blog to recap.. cuz those are always fun.

i intended this blog to be a little longer but i'm getting tired and hungry - so we'll make it short.

remember back in april when i sad cuz i didn't get to go to the laker game. well look at me now.. i get to go tonight!! whoo hoo.. granted it's not really a "great" game and they're playing memphis grizzlies... but who am i to care really. and this time it's row 6 bitches!! center court :) yay.

work is a little hectic because there's a lot of changes, and i'm thinking i might make a big one soon too.. but we shall see..... (ch-ch-ch-changes.. ) :P

i'm going to taiwan for my birthday/thanksgiving to hang out with the sis. i kind of spawned this family trip (which is funny cuz now we never take them anywhere except to taiwan.) my mom was already there and was gonna come back but is extending it, and my dad left on friday. it'll be fun and we'll do thanksgiving in taiwan the right way :) and i get to hang out with jake who is walking already. holy cow.

cutest baby ever!!! (yes i know this picture is stolen)

other than that.. not much else. or not much else that i want to spread out on the internet :P just spending time at work (i only have 1 job now.. amazing), and roommates and friends. i'm gonna be 25 soon.. mid-twenties.. yikes :P

and i think i'm gonna nap now.

ttfn. see ya real soon. (mixing disney phrases.. i know).

so to sort of quasi make up for me being a "bad friend" and not donating yet (i did today!) to support linh's JDRF walk for diabetes i think that posting a link here will be good.. even if just one person donates... that would be awesome.

so donate! it's for a good cause!!

click here to support linh in the diabetes walk!

You sit there in your heartache
Waitin' on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it, now here he comes
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young

Can we climb this mountain?
I don't know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
That's takin' easy
Easy now, watch it go

We burnin' down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane
That started turnin'
When you were young

When you were young

And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young

They say the devil's water it ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waitin' on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play for goodness
Watch it, now here he comes
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young

(Talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined)
When you were young

I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus
He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But more than you ever know

i know that this is probably all kind of wrong - but it makes me laugh so hard.. i don't know why. because i'm silly.. that's why.

"dontcha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?"

long time no blog.

i've been a little lazy.. sorry man.

so i've got a story for you. or a question.. how come people speak to me like i understand spanish. how do you know that i took spanish for five years? how do you know i can understand small conversational phases? it used to happen to me all the time at the gap. maybe people just speak to anyone in spanish and think that they understand because they just assume so many people do. like in nip/tuck where the wife is like "we live in miami, english is the foreign language"... not that bad.. but yah know. last night i went to the corner bakery in westwood during a break in class and i got a sandwich and the guy taking my order asked me "to go?" and i said "yes" and he goes "para llevar" which is the same in spanish... and i said yes. so i guess that's the clue that i understand.. but really? why even start? he says a few other phrases... oookay.. thanks buddy. i just answer him in spanish... because my comprehension is much better than my spoken abilities.

then i go to diddy riese after class - and i order some cookies to take home for my roommates and co-workers... and he says "es especial"... which doesn't really make sense to me because he didn't give me any special deal.. but he started out in english and then brought in the spanish. what is it about me says "please speak spanish to me"... thanks.

that's my story.. i'm going to go back to watching grey's anatomy :) gotta finish season 2 before the new season.

ps... i'm so handy! i fixed up my tivo with our digital cable box.. whoo!! AND i fixed our las vegas nobu boat that beth broke.. hahaha.. i feel productive tonight. i'm not going to turtle racing tonight.. but it's okay.. i'm hanging out with dr. mcdreamy :) better than hanging out with the mcflirties... hahaha.

yeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

http://www.dvdtimes.co.uk/content.php?contentid=62235

if anyone wants to know what to get me for my birthday. this would be it. although it comes out on november 7th and i might not be able to wait the whole 13 days until my birthday.. i might just have to be there the day of to buy it....

spaznik: http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1219142,00.html
spaznik: AAAAHHHHHHHHHH
spaznik: good thing I dumped him...
spaznik: cause then it would TOTALLY be awkward now...
spaznik: totally.

nicole totally made my day. especially when i called her and she was listening to "this i promise you"... promise me what lance? huh? huh?

hahahahhhaha...

EDIT:
so apparently this has been the talk of the day... not at my work because they're not cool enough to admit they care, but at beth's and nicole's. and of course among the internet.. even in taiwan - this is what my sister had to say (and i knew this is exactly what she was going to say)

from joan@iammean.com:
"now we just have to wait for JC! hahahahhahah j/k"

and then i got a text message from nicole:
"so everyoen is making fun of me because of the lance bass thing. apparently no one else had a lance bass puppet."

i've seen two myspace bulletins so far (and that's only among my friends)... it's so.. i dunno.. such big news? couldn't anyone kind of guess? it wasn't this big when clay aiken came out... was it more obvious? because he spent less time hiding it? there's a lot of people that are like "good for him" and "i'm happy for him".. but it just seems excessive to splash it out like that and have a giant cover with giant yellow words "I'M GAY!"... oh well.. whatever you wanna do yah know? good way to advertise and promo for your new show. haha.. that's usually a big part of it.

pop culture is great. i bet on the next 'beauty and the geek' show this will be one of the questions... "which member of famed boyband *NSYNC came out of the closet in the summer of 2006?" :P

gary hall jr. survives shark attack

<3

anyone want to go with me to the usa swimming national championships next month in irvine? boo that i missed the janet evans invitational at usc... that would have been mucho fun.

is there such a thing as a "work 15".. you know.. like freshman 15? i think there has to be. i do nothing but mostly sit on my butt all day - typing at my computer.. with the occasional walk across the street... but there is food everywhere... especially on fridays and especially as the weeks wind down.

today.. i thought i'd be good and bring my lunch because i've been out to lunch a few times this week and spending money on food is something i could probably do less of. especially since last night i had a huge craving for sushi so i ordered 3 rolls from california roll factory because i'm indecisive like that. i brought my leftovers for breakfast - ate few pieces of sushi and had some cereal even though it was free donut friday. i combined the sushi with my leftovers from a birthday lunch on wednesday and thought i had a pretty decent meal. i got invited out to gyu-kaku for lunch, but didn't go because i was feeling anti-social and then i got a notification about free food! whoo!! i had a turkey burger with all the fixings, pasta salad and regular salad. i skipped out on the baked beans and the pound cake/berry mix/create your own shortbread.. but helped myself to a cookie and added a little ice cream for sandwichness.

less than 2 hours later there was a goodbye party for someone who was leaving. so there was meat, cheese and veggie platters, chips and salsa/cheese/guacamole, fruit tart and chocolate cakes and champagne.

20 minutes after that i am told there is ice cream and m&m's in a different area of our work.

in 43 minutes there is another goodbye party for another girl's last day. no food i don't think.. just a few bottles alcohol (for those who haven't already started drinking at lunch. i hear at another goodbye lunch i missed out on 48 oz. margaritas.)

i think they might also be serving dinner for some of the shows in an hour and a half. and i still have those leftovers that i was supposed to eat for lunch. at this rate i could probably stretch it out to next week. no wonder i never go grocery shopping.

understand that i am only posting these for the 3 people who want to see them. granted i am plastering them out on the internet, but emailing them the pictures just seemed too weird. also - it has taken me this long to put up pictures because it has taken me that long to find a half decent picture where i a)looked okay or b)you could actually see the hair. this post is 100% in the vain category.. but only because it's really all about me and how i look. also understand that i am not too pleased. sometimes i can pretend my hair is okay.. and if i have a good day and get compliments at work, it sometimes makes me feel a little bit better. especially if its the cute guy at work. BUT.. it's been more than 2 weeks and i can't seem to find a decent picture of me and my new hair. so i thought hey.. i'll just take some tonight ... and it took a million and two takes just to get some ones that weren't atrocious. i could never be america's next top model. (shut up.)

anyways.. here goes. this makes me feel a little (or lot) worse about my hair. i still don't like it. and i know there will be the occasional comment (or not) about "oh it's cute!" but yea.. i am still not sold :(

*made them small on purpose so they'd look better from "further away"


this is the best out of the bunch, maybe i should wear my hair half up half down all the time.



i've got the half mushroom head (right side) and the half straight hair (left side) thing going on... lovely.



this is the "carefree" picture - although i am far from it.

so you might say "oh it's not that bad" - but there are tons more pictures that were bad than good. but even i am not stupid enough to post those up - even to prove a point.

ps. a lot of people say that my hair "suits me" - so if i have fugly hair.. what does that mean?

pps. totally not trying to fish for compliments here - because even if you say it i won't believe you, so don't think i'm a compliment fishing whore... but that doesn't mean you can post mean things either. then i'll cry.

i miss my hair a little bit.

i've gotten into a really bad habit of turning breath mints into meals. not doing it on purpose in the whole anorexia kind of way... but in an "i'm unprepared" kind of way. i used to carry around gum all the time. because i like to have good breath and i like to keep my mouth busy - but after i got in the car accident i had a bit of TMJ and i wasn't allowed to chew gum. boo. so i turned to breath mints and altoids. i discovered altoid mini's and most recently (thanks to linh and beth) icebreaker sours. breathmints, but like candy.

so lately.. i've been stuck places - work (hockey.. where you can't get up and go) or currently - class. i guess i could leave and go get some food.. but then i'd miss out on my class.. and for the rate i'm paying it's not really worth it. so i'm a little starving because i haven't eaten dinner yet... and all i have are altoid minis and icebreaker sours. the icebreaker sours are a little tastier than the plain ol altoids so i've been popping them like crazy... it curbs my hunger for a few minutes, and then time for more. but i'm still starving. when i was waiting for my mom at the hospital i was popping altoids like crazy at 2am... man i had some fresh breath.

anyhoo.. i should probably get back to paying attention in class. if i'm not leaving to go get food, not paying attention by blogging isn't any better.

okay okay.. i'll post/send some pictures soon... maybe... ahaha.. if i can take some half decent ones. but for now my camera is dead.. i think i left my charger in torrance so y'all are going to have to wait just a little bit.

people tell me i am overreacting. at work i've been getting compliments and i tell everyone "i'm still getting used it." funny thing.. i think my hair has already grown a little bit. it seems a little bit longer than saturday. and yes, the flat iron is my new best friend.

but back to the "compliments" i say so in quotes because it's such a drastic change, most people have to just say something. and mostly in work environments it's got to be say something nice or don't say anything at all. so when someone does something different with their hair.. you say the standard "oh!! nice hair cut!" (exclamation points optional.) one guy did tell me he liked it longer, because he prefers long hair. in fact, he told me not to cut it before i did it - but that's besides the point. anyways.. like when people feel the need to comment when something is different, and of course they're not going to say anything bad, sometimes i wonder which ones are real and which ones are just polite. like "oh... nice third arm!" you know? i know i'm being paranoid, but i also know i've told people that i like their hair when i really didn't.

vivian told me that with it down it makes me look "super asian"... all i need is the bowl bangs to complete the look. awesome.

joan.. it's very 2nd grade picture-esque. after i let you cut my hair and you cut it crooked so mommy had to cut it super short to fix it/even it out. hahahahha.. yup.. it's almost that short :P

i'm having a hair crisis.

bleh. so i wanted it short. i wanted it short and cute. what i got was a boy looking mushroom. you know how your hair is a little longer when it's wet, so i told my hair stylist to cut it around the length i wanted, and then she blew dry it, and then i realized that i was retarded. it's also weird, because it's got more body in the middle and the top and the bottom just kind of curls in... yuk yuk yuk. i thought.. "hey maybe if i wash it and re-style and blow dry that it'll look better..." nope.. it looks the same. ugly.

ack.

oh well.. it's only hair right? haha.. except when i was little my sister told me hair liks 90% of your looks. and= i have believed her ever since. i might not have done a whole lot about it.. but i believe it, always have. now i'm panicking. oh well, not like there's anyone i need to impress. haha.. like that's ever true.

oh well... can't do anything about it now.. except cry. hahahhahah.

*sigh*

they're blue because you're leaving.

so i probably have had a few celebrity sightings, sometimes i don't really keep track of them all the time. one i TOTALLY REMEMBER when i saw justin timberlake.. hahaha. but i wasn't quite quick enough to get a photo as i passed him on the street.

today i was at lunch in venice with work and we saw *gasp* owen wilson. hahhaha. he sat in a table in the back i guess as to not get a lot of attention, but too late! we saw him when he first walked in. i try not to gawk and stare too much as he's having his conversation. as he's leaving he signs a few autographs for the wait staff, chats with a few people and i snap a picture as he's walking away because i can't work up the nerve/dorkiness to go up and ask him for a picture. hahahha... i swear i'm not a goober.

(16:41:57) sakurachoco: are you working?
(16:42:17) jeanyah: yea
(16:42:26) sakurachoco: I'M NOT

thanks sakura.. thanks.

i don't think i am ready to take the leap.

don't let them trick you.

yes i'm being cryptic on purpose.

in case you didn't get the memo from earlier... yuk.



(i feel kind of like a jerk posting and saying these awful things, but seriously, so not cute...) i haven't quite been keeping up, has she admitted to anything yet? the original picture is way bigger and little more frightening

thanks to linh i decided to check out the superficial and there's always tons of entertainment to be found there. today's fun (which may actually be old news) is that paris and britney have dyed their hair black. black is the new blonde? they all just want to look like me. :P (speaking of hair - i think i might cut my hair this weekend!)

how does anyone think this is attractive? i mean.. i know being skinny is great - but i seriously believe there is too skinny. her head looks way too big for her dang body. i mean.. there was a time when i did think she was pretty cute and petite, but i think she's outta control and losing it. she's freaking me out.

(pictures courtesy of a fun new (to me) celeb gossip site: http://hotmommadrama.blogspot.com/

those pictures were at the premiere of the devil wears prada which i guess was at the la film festival. now i know why tickets were freakin $100... *sigh* i guess i will just have to wait to catch it in theatres. (anne hathaway looks beautiful (an proportional) by the way.)

as soon as i got home a bit of a thunderstorm happened. i was on the phone and thought i saw a flash and was like "nah.. it was probably just a reflection or something" but sure enough followed the loud thunder. (actually before that i heard thunder and was like "is that thunder? nah.. it's probably and airplane") anyhoo.. i usually think it's kind of fun and cool, but tonight it was freakin' me out a little, so i'm glad it passed. it was quick, and the rainfall that followed was nice and light as well. i dunno why it was freakin' me out - maybe cuz i was by myself in a spacious place, or when i'd walk by the skylights and there was lighting, it would flash and illuminate the rooms, but only from that source. also there's the whole active imagination thing. when my sister and i were younger we'd play this video "clue" game, which is like the boardgame, but the mystery was on video, and so through that and game cards you had to figure out who killed who (instead of picking the cards and hiding them in an envelope).. it was pretty fun, but tonight the thunder and lighting storm just reminded me of that video and being in that house.. then i was like "oh man.. i'm in a murder mystery house!"

yikes i am delusional today.

i saw An Inconvenient Truth last night, and i know i know i'm late to jump on the bandwagon (well.. the inconvenient truth bandwagon, but i've been an environmentalist forever :P - thanks joan!) but it was really good. at first you watch it, and you feel kind of helpless.. like "all these bad things are happening and there's nothing i can do"... but it makes you realize there are things you can do, and things that we can change, and i hope that this film is a catalyst for that. so.. i think you should go see it - plus it's free. (i like the earth, i like free.. works out..) and al gore is scheduled to be there as well.. that'll probably be really interesting and possibly inspiring :) (another thought that came out of watching that movie was "fuckin florida!") har har har. anyway.. here's the info:

FREE SCREENING: An Inconvenient Truth
Saturday June 24, 8pm
CALIFORNIA PLAZA
350 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles CA 90071
http://www.lafilmfest.com/tixSYS/2006/filmguide/event.php?EventNumber=4397

you should go see it if you haven't already, bring your friends and parents, it's really good and informative. i'm debating taking my parents to go see it .. i hope that the message wouldn't be lost on them... but it's one of those films that definitely makes you aware yah know? reminds you of what you should really care about.. inspires you. haha.. funny enough this is the same feeling i would get after coming back from circle k conventions :P it made me glad that my parents never let me get that SUV i always wanted, it made me want to buy a prius, it makes me want to go plant trees. haha.

favorite funny part from the movie is when al gore compares gold bars against "mm... THE ENTIRE PLANET".. okay.. looks stupid when i write it out, but it's so funny. i echo the sentiment of kevin & bean of "al, why weren't you this guy 6 years ago!" (awhile ago) they also re-capped this moment when he was on the tonight show -

Jay Leno: "How do you feel being treated like a movie star?"
Gore: "Well, it's not all all easy. For example, I'm in this huge feud with Lindsay Lohan now."
Leno: "Really? Can you give us a little more?"
Gore: "No, she knows what she did."

hi.larious.

okay, back to the topic on hand - if you can't make it to the screenign tomorrow you should definitely go see it in theatres! you won't be dissapointed.

go now.

reduce.reuse.recycle

http://www.climatecrisis.org

so this morning i was listening to kevin & bean intermittently between pushing the snooze buttons and heard this on the radio. i don't watch a whole lot of tv anymore - and when i do, i fast forward through all commercials and thus my connection to outside life is minimal. especially news type stuff (not that this qualifies as "news" but you know what i mean..) i know, i know.. i should be better about being "aware" of the world.. but for now - my form of news is mostly through morning kroq radio... they always have "quality" stuff .. so here is it..

dustin diamond - aka "screech" is having a little trouble with money and has dealt with shady characters (you know how i hate those) and needs some help. so help him out i say...



everyone needs a cause.

i think i need to just give up on my quest for my pretty pink razr :(

i found a store that had some left, and then i kind of hesitated because of the price, and now that i'm like "screw it i'm gonna buy it" they didn't have any left. i balked at the $289 price and got a 25% discount and kind of had the attitude of "pink razr or bust" ... so yesterday i went in prepared to spend $240 to replace my phone.. and then they were out. BOO. so maybe it wasn't "meant to be" - if you believe in that stuff. sometimes i do i guess.. although i can't really see what the "meant to be" of having my phone stolenn is. to teach me a lesson? who knows.

i called a ton of verizon and circuit city/verizon stores and no luck with the pink razr. a few "hmm.. let me checks" but no dice. i think it's a "sign" my sister told me to call some orange county stores, but for gas money - i might as well just buy it on ebay - and the price is like $250-$350... then i realized, that's roughly 30% or more of my rent money. and along with these $2000 editing classes i am taking - money that i thought i had is quickly dwindling. spending a huge chunk of money on a phone doesn't seem like such a wise idea ... but boy did that phone make me so happy :(

i need to be okay with this decision though.. and maybe when the new version of the razr comes out and they make that in pink maybe i'll blow my cash on that.. when my expenditures have balanced themselves out a little bit. for now i think i might go back to using my very broke LG phone, so if you can't hear me, you know why. it does come with an ez tip calculator though.. i do like that.

so yea.. if you have a pink phone or a razr (of any color), don't use it around me, i'm likely to either steal it (a la march of penguins desperate mother mode) or take it and throw it against a wall.

it's so weird.. these past few days i've been seeing people everywhere on their cell phones. it makes me a little mad.

today i was driving into work and there was a radio ad for the new razr. the guy says something and i wasn't really listening, but my ears perk up when the girl says "what?! your razr plays music?!" - and i had to turn off the radio, it made me too sad :(

so lame.. i know...

i'm cleaning out some stacks of papers and find some old resumes that the previous assistant was probably doing something with... and in between those resumes i find a finger nail clipping, a pretty big one...

ew. gross. and a little creepy.

just so y'all don't think i'm a huge biatch - i'm taking my mom to urgent care now.. see ya later.

i just gave my mom a little bit of my impatient attitudeness. she is famous for nagging (as all mom's are) but now she doesn't feel well. and when people don't feel well they become that much more whiney, needy, and fussy. i should know... literally. i honestly would like to help my mom - but she wants me to find the number of her chiropractor, but she can't remember the name. i know it's a combination of her sickness and druggedness that is making her hazy - but she is still ab le to get mad at me for being "unhelpful" that i can't look up the name of her doctor - who's name i don't know. i'm sorry, but i feel crappy and miserable too. i just got re-sick this weekend over a cold i thought was on it's way out. i'm coughy and achy and my throat feels like it's a centimeter wide. i'm sorry that i was rude, but when i am sick, i can't take care of you, i don't always care about what you want. i barely care about what i want.. except for lots and lots of sleep. BLECH.

while my mom is in the bathroom and i have to wait until she's done.. i guess i will blog. let me tell you about the craptacular incident of the weekend. i lost my phone/some f*cker stole my phone. granted.. i probably shouldn't have been doing what i was doing, so maybe it's karmic balance.. although beth gets mad when i say stupid crap like that. it was 3 or 4 am and i decided to do a little gambling - i was in vegas afterall. my phone fell out of my side jacket pocket while i was on the floor, and while frantically searching for it i was repeatedly calling my own number - not so that i could hear it because i knew my phone was on vibrate (dammit!) but hoping someone would pick up. after the 39th bajillionth call or so, someone finally did. some dude, probably wasted, who knows really, but he did say he'd give me my phone back, that he was outside the monte carlo and that he'd meet me in the lobby. i told hiim not to hang up so that i could keep him on the phone and we could find each other easier.. he's like "yea yea.. sure sure"... 30 seconds later he hung up and then turned my phone off. ass.hole. i can't believe that people can be like that. i can't believe that people will lie to your face and then take off with your stuff. god i really hate people sometimes. in the morning i tried calling and teting my phone to see if he'd respond to me saying i'd give him money (why didn't i just say that in the first place!!) but no answer... arrghh!! as of yesterday i've suspended my service, and my phone is placed on the lost/stolen list - so basically it can't be reactivated anyways... the phone is useless. i guess it could be used as a camera, but it's really not that great anyways. who knows.. i don't. but i am angry. like this dude who's friend's sidekick was found/stolen. bleh.. people suck ass.

http://www.evanwashere.com/StolenSidekick/

i just dropped 2k on signing up for an editing class. umm... i'm scared. i dunno.. it's like the first "big" thing that i've done in awhile. 2k.. i hope that these classes are good. i have some room and a date that i can still drop and get a refund by if it gets too hectic.. but i'm anticipating good things. at least i hope. there's a lot of "big" changes lately. maybe i'm finally "growing up" - moving out, taking these classes.. umm i guess that's it. okay.. doesn't seem like a big deal when you list them - but i'm still scared. apprehensive. maybe i'm not actually growing up, but just finding more ways to waste lots of money all at once. i should just go to vegas and blow it all instead... oh wait - i'm doing that too :P

booooooooooooooooooooooooo.. tonight i decided to catch up on some amazing race and i realized that on the stinkin 3 tivos in this house not a single one caught the finale. in fact, two of them missed it because they were both tivo'ing lost. boooooooooooooo. i know .. my own fault because i should have checked. but i have been busy and have been catching up on the last month of tv. BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO.

i am so upset right now.

AND DON'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BY TELLING ME WHO WON BECAUSE THEN I WILL JUST BE EVEN MADDER... if i wanted to know i'd look it up on the internet. i will find the finale so i can watch it.. the anticipation kills me - but i love it. go hippies.

oh tv, let me tell you - how i love you so. when i first started this blog i titled this blog as i saw fit.. but it wasn't just a title.. but i actually meant it. is that sad? but it's so true. tv is around whenever i need it. almost the perfect friend.. i can turn it on when i want, make it go away when i'm done. sounds like a very selfish relationship huh? but tv is the one thing i can usually always count on. of course there are those bad moments when you have 500 channels and they're all crap, but everyone has an off day. you kept me company when i was little, made me happy with episodes of my little pony when my eye got poked out with an umbrella, made me smart with 3-2-1 contact and square one shows, and are always there when i need someone to spend time with me, make me feel better when i am sad, and tell me what i want to hear/see. you don't judge, you don't give me attitude, you don't get moody or mean, and when you make me cry it's just in a good way (although it still makes me feel silly). you do kill me with these season finales... you keep me on the edge in suspension... "mcvet or mcdreamy?!" "what happened to mike?" "is nathan going to live?" or the bad storylines of soaps "austin... i can't believe you friggin proposed to sami!!... idiot!" but i know it's not your fault.. and it's all in the name of good entertainment. tv you are always there when i need you, and i know why my sister is so happy that she can be your friend from taiwan too, she missed you a lot when she couldn't get in contact with you. now we have to share, but i'm okay with that.. mostly because of the time difference. you provide me with constant immediate entertainment whenever i need it, especially those times when i need it the most. you make me so happy. thank you.

"if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

my nephew is cuter than your nephew



my mom left for taiwan today.. i'm so jealous!! i want to go. i know she's not just going for socializing and hanging out - but she still gets to go away and be in taiwan and enjoy all the fun, food, shopping, family that all comes with it. hahaha.. but then there's that humidity.... bleh :P but it'd totally be worth it. jake is starting to crawl and eat foods... and i'm totally missing out. boo!!!

i've stayed up until right now to catch up on grey's anatomy. for one reason or another i haven't watched a whole lot of tv lately and i have a couple weeks of episodes to catch up on. i guess i decided tonight was the night i wanted to do it. well.. round 1 at least. now i'm debating whether i should even go to sleep or if i should just get some other stuff done. i don't know why i am feeling so restless and i know i will be absolutely useless at work tomorrow - but i guess that's not much of a change from how i have been lately. the best term that i can use to describe me lately (and i'm sorry if this offends anyone) but is "checked out" i've checked out of work, checked out of caring about keeping up with stuff, i wait until the absolute possible last minute where i have to do stuff to do it - but then it's only because i have to, not because i have any desire. i don't know what my deal is. i have almost no interest in anything. i have my moments - moments where things are shiny and happy - but it just seems odd that i come back here - when i seem to have so much going for me. am i just being melodramatic? or have i spent all the other times just pretending?

i ran into an old roommate at the grocery store today. she was ... not at all excited or interested in talking to me. that makes me a little sad. was whatever i did to her so horrible that she couldn't even feign interest. but i guess she was never that kind of person. you won't mesh well with everyone, but i do like to try.. because i am dumb like that. there's this guy on myspace who we used to be friends, not best friends, but acquaintances. why won't he be my friend on myspace? why do people say they'd like to meet up, but when you actually try to make it happen they dissapear? and why are people so afraid to make friends - or maybe it's just me? i don't know why this bothers me so much but it does.

maybe i am scared of this new roommate situation. do i have time to back out? not without making a whole lot of people mad. i think i'm just a little less enthused because there was a place that i loved and we lost it. we lost it for stupid reasons. reasons that i know make sense, but i think i'm still greiving. there's another place that we'll get if we want it - but it's not the same, it's not as nice, and i think maybe i feel a little let down - but i can't do anything about it. i have to be a team player and do what's best for the team, but it sucks because i feel like the team let me down. and then i feel bad for saying that.

i was talking to this girl about coupledom today and she said that she wanted to make sure she had everything in place before she ever chose to couple up because she needed to make up herself. it's smart, and i'm not coupled for different reasons, but we talked a lot about how you don't need to be coupled. but there are times like tonight, when no one else seems to have time for you - that you wish you had someone that you could make make time for you. but truth be told, being coupled up doesn't mean that anyways.

i've been looking into taking editing classes @ ucla extension. i think my boss would let me leave early one day a week. but then i wonder if i want to blow that much money on something that i may not even want to do long term. i don't know what i want to do. is that odd? i feel like i should have it all figured out... or at least have some answers. i have none.

i know this funk is just the extreme and temporary and probably brought on by my massive sleep deprivation. i probably don't even make sense. but i want to matter. not just be a cog.

funny story - first time i saw the vet on grey's anatomy i was like "holy crap he is hot".. after watching 4 or 5 hours i realized that mcVet is chris o'donnell. i totally didn't recognize him in the first episode he appeared in. funny how i still think he is hot. i would totally pick mcVet, but i guess you can't help who you like.

happy mother's day!

my mom listening to a vm from my sister (also a mommy!)



grandma and my dad with a silly face

i know i have been uber lazy about blogging.. sorry.. i've been uber lazy about a few things.. well not lazy - apathetic? still debating if i want to post hawaii and vegas pictures. maybe a few.. but usually when i get time to blog i usually don't want to stare at the computer anymore (usually because i've wasted too much time on myspace).. hahha.. i know i'm lame. whatever...

potato chips for breakfast, champagne for lunch and apple pie a la mode for dinner... random i know... but i just wanted to say that. truthfully that's only like 15% of what i ate today.. i've been grazing all day. hah... had a ginormous dinner with mana tonight at lucille's... so good, so full, so worth it :P

i should be sleeping, but i'm glad i was able to catch ben lee on jimmy kimmel. grey's anatomy themed, so he and lara played in patient gowns sitting in hospital beds.

"please, baby, please, open your eyes, catch my disease"

it doesn't really read well, but i swear the song is cute.

one last thing: change change change: http://www.digitaldomain.com/press_release.html

boo hoo....

Blaze guts HB Pier Plaza's Baja Sharkeez restaurant

my own little world of current events.. this is probably only funny to me and three other people.. but here goes.

me: hey so are you guys eating dinner right now?
my dad: no
me: are you going out?
my dad: souplantation is closed today because all their workers went downtown.
me: hahahahhahahahahha

i'm sure you don't get it. i don't care. it cracks me up to no end. i am still laughing.

i am SO popular on myspace.. i get lovely messages from very nice boys all the time. no wonder so many people find great love through the internet. i'm certain i could meet "the one"... for example - a message from my new boyfriend on myspace.

Hi there, i'd like to be straight up honest with you, and want to level with you. My name is Josh, I'm a normal decent guy, currently I'm single, to be honest I've never been in a realtionship. I'm sure you're a very sweet nice woman as well, and you are VERY hot. You look very good. So I was wondering if we could exchange numbers and arrange sometime to get together and make love. Please consider I asked politely, and I promise to be faithful to you and willing to learn to pleasure you like no other.
You got to think, all women will refuse my offer, so you could be that one unique smart woman, that will avoid all these silly games, and just follow your natural human instincts.
Please Do not get offended by my message.

thank you,
MUAH
Josh. :)


i know.. you're jealous. too bad.

through myspace i found out this guy that i went to middle school with died. don't flood my comment box with "i'm sorry"s because i didn't know him that well. i mean.. i did - i went to school with him for a few years.. all of middle school, maybe elementary. i don't really know - but at the same time i haven't talked to him - or most middle school people since then... 11 years. i do remember him though, probably have some pictures and yearbook messages somewhere, so it's always a little sad when someone you know (or knew) died.

and it's weird to be back in a world that have lost touch with, but it doesn't make it any less fond. it's also weird to remember all these people you knew, and know that because i went to cams everything changed for me, but not anyone else.. it's strange, surreal really. but enough about me.

RIP jeff daley.


Jeffrey Marcus Daley

On April 15, 2006, we lost our beloved Jeffrey in a tragic accident. A lifetime resident of Torrance, he was born on October 8, 1980. Jeffrey was loved by all who knew him, and was fortunate to have a great group of lifelong friends. Pursuing his long time dream of a career in law enforcement, he was studying criminal justice at El Camino College and was employed by the Southern California Gas Company. Always confident, Jeffrey could fix anything that was broken and break anything that was fixed. Jeffrey would never turn down a challenge; school, soccer, pool, motor sports, he loved them all. Last one at the card table and the first one at the finish line. His motto "I got this!" Jeffrey is the beloved son of Mike and Mary Kay Daley; devoted brother to Christopher and Colleen; and loving uncle to Riley. He leaves behind the love of his life, Heather Birken. He will always be in the hearts of grandparents, Michael R. O'Sullivan and Joyce Temple as well as numerous aunts, uncles and cousins. He recently lost his loving grandmother Mary Ann O'Sullivan; and great-grandmother, Nana Minnie Rooks. Viewing will be at Rice Mortuary, 5310 Torrance Blvd., Torrance on Friday, April 21, 2006 from 6:00pm - 9:00pm. A celebration of Jeffrey's life will be held at Hickory Park, 2850 W. 232nd Street, Torrance on Saturday, April 22, 2006 at 11:00am. Reception will follow. Please sign the guest book at www.dailybreeze.com/obits. To send the family a message, share a memory, or for directions to services, please go to the mortuary's website, here.

this girl cracks me up.. :) From: Angelee

To: Jean

Date: Apr 20, 2006 12:37 PM

Subject: 4:20

have a happy holiday. don't do anything i wouldn't do.


your favorite stoner,
angeweed

this could have been me tonight, row 17.

BOOO!!!!

it's okay.. i should be working anyways. damn.it.

although i hate the combining of celebrity couple names with a deep deep passion - i think the tagline of "the tomkitten has arrived" is kind of cute. JUST this once though.. that's it.

so yep.. tom cruise and katie holmes had a little girl (unless you believe all the rumors :P) - i bet it's pretty cute... they're both pretty cute. awww... the name strikes me as a little odd: suri. it's got persian or hebrew roots - but i don't think tom or katie are either... it sounds kind of asian.. ahhaha.. not like i can judge really - i guess it's better than apple or naming your kids "brandon and dylan" hahaha :)

cruise, holmes have baby girl named suri

i was going to post some lyrics, but this trumped all - so thank nicole for sparing you from my "don't really have anything good to say, but want to keep people reading post" of song words that is either highly popular to show you "i'm cool" or indie to show you that "i'm cool" - either way.. i think you'll find this much better... enjoy!

(still lazy blogging though.. i know i know)

spaznik: i was about to call you earlier today
spaznik: i was going sheet shoppping
spaznik: and i couldnt decide between brown/beige ones
spaznik: or red ones
spaznik: i went with the red one
jeanyah: oooohh.. sexy
jeanyah: who's comin over?
spaznik: hahahah no one.
spaznik: myself.
spaznik: i also went to target and got those TSHIRT COTTON sheets.
spaznik: :)
jeanyah: ooh.. nice!
jeanyah: my sister bought me hello kitty sheets
spaznik: awwwww
spaznik: pretty!!
spaznik: i ended up getting this quilt cover
spaznik: choice 1
spaznik: it was between that and this choice 2
jeanyah: ooohh
jeanyah: the white looks very.. matrimonial
jeanyah: haha
jeanyah: red is incarnate
jeanyah: they might as well be leopard print
jeanyah: jk
spaznik: ahaahahhaha nah... it would clash with my cheetah skin rug.
jeanyah: oh that's right
jeanyah: i forgot
jeanyah: i haven't been to your room in so long
jeanyah: you've probably been cheating on me
spaznik: its still pink...
spaznik: i feel it gives a "charming" and "homey" feel that contrasts nicely with the whips and chains.
spaznik: ying and yang i say.

i feel a little guilty.

i've been gone for 5 days and my mom took this time to do everything i asked her not to do. she doesn't want "my room" to be a "mess" so she is constantly asking to do my laundry, trying to organize my stuff and create little spaces for everything. sounds like a dream right? not so much. she bought all these containers and crates to create makeshift shelves and whatnot. when i first saw that she bought them i told her that i didn't want them. i left for 5 days and my room is all containered-up. things are organized not in a way that i put them - and it bothers me a little - just because... maybe i feel like i need to do my own thing. "well then you need to move out" you say? i'm working on it. but until the meantime i have to deal with this. arrrggghhh!! plus it's like i don't want to make anything too permanent, because then it will just be a bitch to dismantle when i leave. and i don't want to deal with it.

beth says that i'm not easygoing. i say that i am - well, maybe i'm not 100% easygoing in all areas - i guess i do like my stuff just the way that i like it. i've always liked they saying "there is method to this madness" (or something like that) - because although my room or the way i do things may seem chaotic - there is always a system or method - or at least usually. my room might be messy - but i remember where things are and where i left them (most of the time) - so when i try to find it and it's been rearranged or moved by someone else - i get a little irked. maybe it's a control issue and maybe i'm a control freak. (is there such a thing as an easygoing control freak?) i also hate that i ask her to please not do this, or say no when she asks me questions and then completely disregards me and does it anyways. i almost want to say "if you're so into organizing, do it to your own stuff! i'd never say that to her face, but my dad and sometimes my mom reads this so i guess it's as good as done.

i feel guilty because i know my mom isn't doing this to spite me and isn't mal-intentioned. i know she's doing it because she loves me and she thinks that this is the best way. it might be good - but i don't want this much clutter. i get aggitated easily lately in confined spaces with her (see previous post) and i throw my attitude around - sometimes i try harder than others to keep it in check - but it usually rears its ugly head. i honestly hate when people do the complete opposite of what i say i want when it concerns me and my stuff. if it's your life, then whatever.. you can listen to me, you can not. i may be offended or peeved, but it's not my life. my stuff - i like it the way i want it, hands off. my parents don't seem to get this concept. like tonight as i was leaving to go back to my sister's, my dad says that my back car window is dirty and proceeds to wipe it with the napkin in his pocket. i have told him time and time again to not do it because it puts ugly streaks on the window, and not that i car so much about car cleanliness, but the streaks irritate me when i'm driving. i got a bit agitated and maybe made my dad feel a little bit bad. but he does this time and time again, and it bothers me to no end that he is not even listening to me. i'm okay with suggestions, but overbearingness is a different issue. but i feel bad because there are a ton of other people who wish there were so lucky. i know my parents are great, but i feel guilty because it's so easy to get mad. not to say that i'm not justified sometimes, but i come from a background where you're supposed to respect your parents no matter what... not that i don't, but respect in a sit down, shut up and take it kind of way, and that i don't do so well. i talk back and fight - and i like that about me, but i don't like that part where it makes my parents feel bad.

the trick is next time i go away - to never come back... :P

today my dad told me that next time i better not come home, because everytime we just fight and so he doesn't want to see me. or something like that. i don't remember the exact words because i think i just tuned out after "don't come home" - granted it was after i made some snarky remark and i know he doesn't really mean it - but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

my mom is currently sitting in the garage downstairs because she is too pissed/angry/sad or other to come inside. i kind of don't care. and then i kind of feel guilty. and then i kind of feel glad.

today my retarded ass boss scheduled me for a game that i think got cancelled - but yet he didn't tell me about it. so i show up, freak out for a bit because i can't find what i need for the game and then get angry because i realize that i'm not supposed to be there at all. i cut my meeting short, i missed out on dinner with my sister and i missed out on costin's band playing because i was supposed to be "working". i am putting 3 hours on my time card that they'll pay me for even though i left. i'm pretty sure i'll get those hours because i really don't think they ever check - as long as you don't go overtime they don't really check the hours. i come home because i am supposed to be taking my mom up to my sister's so she can help out with jake. i have to drive my mom because she doesn't drive on the freeway, it will save my dad a trip and i am already down in the area. i don't mind really.. or i didn't at first. i call my mom to tell her that i am coming home earlier than expected but she says she still has stuff to do before she can go. i try to go to the gym but i realize i didn't bring any sneakers. so i have a fun conversation with beth on the phone in the parking lot and go on my merry way home. my mom is still doing stuff and i am suddenly super exhausted. i try and find things to entertain myself, but in the end i just decide to take a nap. later my mom comes and says she is ready and i just kind of lay there in my half asleep state thinking that 10 more minutes isn't going to matter. oh how much difference it makes.

my mom is asking my dad to put some stuff in the car and so i yell downstairs saying "don't put it in the trunk there isn't any room" and then i keep yelling for her because i have gotten no response and when i ask her if she heard me she says something to the effect of "who doesn't hear you when you yell" i wonder why she is being so rude and just brush it off as she's already pissed at my dad. i try to get a few more minutes of sleep and then i hear my parents yelling about yet another thing. i figure that i should just get the hell out of there as soon as i can and just stop the fighting. i go downstairs and my parents are fighting about the printer. my dad is frustrated because he can't get the printer to work with only the black color cartridge. he just says he wants to get a new one and my mom is arguing because she is saying he is wasteful and he just got the printer and it's not "junk" as my dad is calling it. i try to help my dad to get the printer to work and in the end he just ends up getting frustrated with me as well and tells me to leave. i start going out the door and realize that i still have to load all of my mom's stuff into the car. my mom is still yelling at my dad and i very annoyedly just tell her to stop. of course it's never a good idea to get in the middle of things, but yet i do it anyways. somewhere in the midst of all the yelling i tell her that she is unreasonable and that she needs to stop yelling. oh my mom loves that.. let me tell you. i walk out in a fit to put my stuff in the car and am coming back to get my mom's stuff. she has knocked over some boxes in a fit and starts complaining about how if i don't want to take her stuff and there's no room for it then maybe she'll just put it back in her room and maybe she just won't go to my sister's house. then i find out why she was so rude earlier. i realize she thinks i said that there is no room in the car and to not put her stuff in. i tell her that i said "'no room in the trunk' and that's why i asked if you had heard me" and so she proceeds to argue with me "you didn't say trunk"... somewhere along the lines she says "i didn't hear trunk .. SORRY" - but she's already too pissed to that we're not really communicating at this point. i am trying to explain to her, she's not listening to me, i can't get a complete sentence out and she just thinks i'm trying to be argumentative. my dad comes in and just grabs all her stuff in a fit and says he'll put it in the car - and i say i'll do it, so then we start fighting. my mom is still standing in the house and i'm somewhere in between the driveway and our house standing outside yelling and i'm sure all of our neighbors think we're looney. i finally get in the car - my mom is trying to say something, i'm trying to say something and nothing is really being heard. she's telling me how i shouldn't get into the middle of fights between her and my dad, and i am trying to tell her that she should listen more and not everything and everyone is against her - just like how i wasn't trying to say there is no room in the car for her stuff. she cuts me off and tells me that i'm currently yelling at her. and i say something about how i'm crying or something and then she cuts me off saying that i'm making it too hot for her because i'm defrosting the windows. i get angry and say how i was defrosting the windows and then she says "well if you're going to cry then i suggest you put on the emergency blinkers and stop on the side of the road and cry because the fog is in your eyes and not on the window." at that point i lose it. (this talk is not all in chronological order - but you get the jist). i think this whole fight started because as i was stomping out of my house i said something like "everything has to be done your way whether you are right or wrong" and she obviously gets angry when i make bold statements as such. i just ask her not to talk anymore because i am already sobbing and the conversation really goes nowhere. she says "see it has to be your way" i try to speed so i can get home faster and she's not having that either. in the end i guess we compromised. i wouldn't speed if she would just shut up.

i know i am not faultless in this. maybe i am an ineffective communicator. maybe i am spoiled. maybe i am selfish. maybe i am stubborn. maybe i am an awful child. sometimes i just want parents who don't fight all the time about every little thing. sometimes i just want parents who will support me - even if i'm making mistakes. sometimes i want them to tell me i'm doing a good thing - not because i asked but because they really believe it. sometimes i don't want to always have to be on the defensive and seem like i have to fight for everything. sometimes i just want some to believe me. sometimes i just want it to be easy.

i know that my parents are just doing what they think is right. i know i probably should be more "respectful" - or at least that's what they think. i know part of them thinks that they have failed because they have raised such an insolent daughter. and that hurts to think that they are dissapointed in what i've become - because i didn't think that i was all that bad - but yet they always manage to make me question it.

this is reason #2934821029 that i need to be on my own - so at least i can do a better job of ignoring it. when i am separate i guess less easily annoyed by the little things, when they're in my face everyday, i never want to come home. i know that this will be one of those moments when my parents are no longer around that i will regret and be sorry that i treated them that way. but it still doesn't make me less angry now. okay - maybe less angry, but still annoyed and still sad. i wish i could move far far away - like new york or something so i could just sever it completely. ignorance is bliss. but then again sometimes i wish i could just fix it - and i guess that's where i get myself in trouble. how do you fix something that irreparable?

this morning when i woke up - despite the fact that i had gotten 7 hours of sleep or so i was still SO exhausted and dead tired. i attributed it to daylight savings and the fact that my body thought it was 7am when i woke up instead of 8am. i got some coffee and perked right up - almost giddy and kind of giggly.

the BEST part of daylight savings though - is that even though i've spent 10 hours here at work.. is that i can not believe it's 7pm already! time to go!! AND it's still light out. i think i had this exact same post last year during daylight savings - but honestly - i can not tell you how great it is. well i guess i just did - but i still don't think you GET it.

i'd write more - but i gotta go!!!

i know i'm supposed to be editing right now - but of course i am not. i am surfing the internet. i lifted these off someone's myspace and they make me laugh. the ninth one (jennifer horton from denise) made me laugh out loud. i'm sure they are fake and not actually from little kids, but imagine if they are... hilarious.


g'damn i love that ninth letter.

happy birthday to my big sister joan :) she is the big 3-0 - three decades old. crazy huh? actually it's not that bad - i mean.. it doesn't really seem any different. we were going to watch that episode of friends where rachel turns 30, but it wasn't totally fitting because it doesn't really seem like that at all. no dismay or anything. i was thinking about how i'm turning 25 this year, and it's kind of cool that we'll always be celebrating big milestone bdays in the same year. like.. mid-decade or decade birthdays. i dunno why, but to me those seem like milestones.

anyways.. i made my sister cupcakes and put them in my cupcake stand and left them for her to find when she wakes up. i took a few pictures, but didn't have time to really do much with them cuz i was rushing out the door to get to work. maybe later. they kind of ended up looking a little bit like the hostess cupcakes because i used chocolate frosting and then wrote on them with white frosting.. so from far away maybe that's what they'd be mistaken for. i like them regardless. and they looked especially awesome in my cupcake stand. i love it.

this past weekend was up and down.. kind of weird. friday went to see thank you for smoking with friends, yes for the second time.. but it was good, and i wanted to go with my friends to see it, so that's what you gotta do. we tried to go out later, but it didn't quite work out, but me and courtney ended up at this karaoke place that was kind of fun.. but i was already kind of pooped, and not in the mood to drink (i know.. bizarre right? jk) and so i wanted to go home early. saturday - funeral for my old lady neighbor - will blog about her later... can't do it right now).. saturday night i was in a weird funk mood, but i had to go to target and then bought 3 pairs of shoes to cheer myself up a little. hahaha.. retail therapy is good times. went to a party that wasn't so hot and then headed home. sunday - birthday party fun galore. too much food, 3 different cakes, beard papa cream puffs and i am the scene it "alternate title for movie" champion and trump might be a new favorite game. good times really.

okay.. i'm super exhausted.. i'm in this weird disfunctional state. i can't even really eat or drink correctly - i've choked 2 or 3 times. brilliant huh? okay.. back to work.. maybe. i also gotta figure out some 401k info. and what kind of kegs to get. haha. it's all work related.. i swear.

ps. sakura i did use the shampoo sunday morning. you guys are right. super clean :)

so about that plane crash...

it makes me kind of sad - not that it wasn't already - but there were 3 people on the plane - an old 80's tv game show host and his wife - the 3rd hasn't been found yet (maybe he/she has now - but not last i checked the news) and they were on their way to san diego to pick up someone who needed treatment at ucla. he was a part of a non-profit group who provides free air transportation for needy patients. here was someone who is of semi-fame and doing something great when they can, and they die. i know i know - bad stuff happens all the time - but i can't help but be sad. plus i thought that at 11am when i was watching the news, the second person had survived - but maybe they died shortly thereafter. sucky.

apparently someone else('s gf) from work had a camera and was nearby:

private plane crashes in ocean near santa monica pier

kind of crazy - there are like 4 helicopters in the sky flying out above near my work. i wish i had my camera with me so you could see all the floating in the sky newsies. there's this constant motor beating hum in the background. in must be a little bit of insanity down there right now. check out your 11am news.

this is for my sister - i <3 my cupcake stand

you want to hear something i think is funny? does anyone watch my name is earl? you know the crab man? i swear he's the guy on the outside of our office max catalogues. like that's what he did right before he got his (semi) big break. it makes me chuckle everytime i pull out the catalogue to order something.

went to a ben lee show last night. it was good :) his music is a little cheesy and literal (self proclaimed sometimes maybe even) - but that's they way i like it so i had a really good time. besides the fact that i'm a sucker for boys with guitars. i never really listened to him much (aside from a few songs) and that's why going to live shows are always so great - i'm definitely a fan. there were these girls in the audience who you could tell were RABID fans. they got all crazy, sang along (pretty loudly) and drew lots of attention to themselves. normally - i'm sure that's great, but in smaller venues, it's not as great. i mean.. i've heard both sides of the argument - "i paid as much as you i can enjoy it how i want" but then again you don't want to infringe upon other people's concert going experience. if it's a large venue with 15,000 screaming girls then it's not as big of a deal. but last night wasn't that. they got a few looks and smiles from ben lee and his super awesome so well coordinated accompaniment lara - which i bet made their day. but i swear sometimes they were looks like "oooookay." i think this because those were the girls on my left. the girls on my right - were really cute, totally into the show, mouthing along to the words (maybe singing - but i never heard them) and just really enjoying themselves (as they should be) but not really drawing lots of attention to themselves. one of the girls on picked by lara to come up on stage and help hold an instrument during a song (one of his most popular probably) - little tiny piano. she was stoked, her friend was taking pictures on the camera phone. i bet the girls on the left were green with envy. so much so that when people started clapping their hands for the beginning of the song she had to get up and run over to the side and do a big exaggerated clapping stomping exercise. it's like.. just chill man.

i'm so mean - i shouldn't make fun of girls like that. i was snickering a little bit - but at the same time i was snickering a little bit at myself because i wondered if i ever looked like that during my mraz uber-obsession phase. hahaha..

that was a good story for this morning.

girlfromwork: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060307/ap_en_ce/tv_bachelor_split
girlfromwork: i knew it wouldn't last
jeanyah: LOL
jeanyah: dude.. i think they broke up a long long time ago
jeanyah: " Asked if they might reconnect romantically after publicity has died down, both just laughed."
jeanyah: i think they're laughing at the word "reconnect" because that implies there was a connection in the first place

i still feel cheated... when i see that picture on the webpage i think "SHAM!!!"

see moana... guys like that don't pick girls like her either... :P

i know that my sister is going to call me a picture stealer - but i can't resist because jake is so awesome and my sister is such a good photographer... (kissing up always tends to soften the blow of the accusations :P) anyways.. <-- that picture is just so damn cute i had to put it up, but then i also had to type out this disclaimer.

i realized i never really wrote about sundance. well i mean.. i blogged a little bit from there, but never did a real in depth recap. i mean in general i've stopped writing about my everyday ongoings and no more listing what i eat (pete, i know you're sad..) and i don't know if it's apathy, lazyness or me "growing" out of my blog (*gasp.. such blasphemy!!) or really a different approach to my blogging - but i have missed out on writing about somethings. i'm not going to go into detail here - BUT.. here are two things you should check out.

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING - funny funny funny FUNNY movie. i highly recommend it. it'll probably be the napoleon dynamite of this year.. but different because it's not just quirky funny - it's really smart funny so i think a whole lot of people will like it. plus it has all the press from the missing katie holmes sex scene/tom cruise scandal that i think it's garnered a lot of interest. good for them. BUT it is so good, i'm probably going to see it again the friday it comes out. i lurved it.

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN - i couldn't find a website, but imdb says it's going to be released march 31 in the US.. which is weird since i haven't heard much about it - but i haven't exactly been keeping up. i liked this movie a lot (as you can tell) and maybe it's because i liked the people in it. my heart beats like a 12 year old school girl for josh hartnett and i like lucy liu a lot too.. so.. yea. but it's a good story line - even beth enjoyed it even though she figured out the plot line and tried to ruin it for me in the middle of the movie. :P hahah.. it's a little bit gory (in a sin city-esque but non comic way) but i just kind of wince and move on. i'm sure it will be a big hit due to all the big names - i guess i just haven't really been paying attention much.

okay.. that's enough for now. i guess i never posted too many pix from sundance just because i got lazy. plus i didn't have my camera for all of saturday (the busy day) because i'm lame and i left the battery in the hotel room. same ol same ol you know - snow & screenings - and then some parties. there are pictures floating around somewhere. i'll probably be posting some other pictures later once i get off my lazy ass and load the software for my new camera (yay) into the computer. it just takes too much effort for my current liking :P oh and one more thing about sundance - tyler hilton up close and personal.. i *heart* his music, he's really good.. check him out :) (and i'm not just saying this because of his pretty boy exterior.. he really is good stuff)

so i had waited to post this until i was sure that my sister had seen the results of the bachelor. (if you haven't watched and don't want to know.. don't read this...) but my sister is a cheater and couldn't wait to watch it (technical difficulties) so she googled the answer. i'm sure she was shocked - but missed out on all the fun that i had - yelling at my tv like an idiot.

I CAN'T BELIEVE TRAVIS FREAKING PICKED SARAHtennesee

when moana stepped out of the first limo i screamed "nooooooooooo" and then did so repeatedly... my friends probably think i'm a moron, being so invested in this reality tv smut. i was so upset and disgusted i almost didn't want to watch sarah tennessee get her ring on a necklace - i don't even think he asked her to accept that final rose. plus the stuff he said to moana before he rejected her was way better than any of the stuff he said to sarah. AND he started off almost the exact same way "beautiful"... who does that?!

i told nicole that i felt like carlene did after that second season of average joes. where stupid adam picked the hot girl instead of the "average" girl who he totally ahd a connection with. i think travis picked the "safe" girl that maybe his parents liked and that he could see the white picket fence and 2.5 kids with... and with moana it wasn't as clear - but what is after a few month of dating?? i feel cheated out of watching this season because it's such a sham. and there is no after the rose special which makes me think there is some huge drama or simply they're not together anymore.

in all fairness - i won't ever really know what happened. (unless i make friends with moana on myspace.. haha.. which btw has totally blown up. she gets 50+ comments a day about how "you're the real winner" and she posted this blog about being "void" (poetry she wrote i think) and a jillion and two people read it, gave her kudos, commented... it's a little insane) but anyways.. maybe there was a great connection between sarah and travis. it just didn't seem like it. travis would glow when moana was around and defended her to his parents and when he said goodbye he couldn't even let go of her hand. it makes me sad... and i'm not even a part of it. but it make me intrigued because i wish i could have been a logger and watched all 50 billion hours of footage... the show is all in the editing baby. but yet.. i still feel cheated (which could = bad editing.) so dissapointing.

i guess i should be glad i didn't bet on my "sure thing" i'd be out $100. ahahah.. my sister pointed out that travis was on ellen a few weeks ago and ellen asked if he was in love and he said that he was "happy with his decision" and ellen was like "you're so not in love" and all he could do was laugh. i bet you they're not together or else abc would pimp the heck out of them. although no one would want to watch so maybe they're just trying to save face. sad though if they're not together and now that know they live .5 miles from each other..... awkwaaaard....

i watched two movies last night just to veg out because i had a rough day at work. i watched monster in law which was SO SO SO BAD. normally i like j.lo's romantic comedy movies - i think everyone loves wedding planner, and maid in manhattan is kind of cute. she is exceedingly annoying in monster in law and michael vartan seems like such a tool. would you say that's good acting? i watched wedding crashers later and that was funnier and better, so i'm glad i watched them in that order.

i have had enough dissapointment for one week.

me + snowboarding = so painful

:0

is it that i'm immature or just cool like joey/rachel that i snicker a little bit everytime my boss tells me that i have to buy some "lightwave dongles"

*snicker, snicker, snicker*

ahahah..

on a more clever note.. this is kind of cool. apple is having this contest where people who download a 100,000th song get an ipod nano, and the person who downloads the 1 billionth song gets this mega prize pack including $10,000 itunes gift card, a 20 inch iMac, and then 10 60gb video ipods. TEN!! 5 white and 5 black. seriously? who needs 10? i mean.. i guess you could keep one of each color, and then have ones for back up in case they break. or really - you're just going to make 8 friends. but 10 ipods seems a bit excessive.. just give them a g5 or something.

nevertheless, if you want to try winning you can utilize this. someone sent it out at work and i couldn't quite figure out the best way to utilize it, but i'm not trying to win - so if you're really into it, i hope it helps. and if you win those 10 ipods, remember who loves ya baby.

so i'm a little spooked. these near death or almost car crash experiences are happening to me a little way too often.

not cool, i tell you... not cool.

so i was driving home from vivian's house and about to go through an intersection and the light turned from red to green and as i'm driving through the intersection i hear this loud crash and see this car coming the opposite direction towards me and i realize that it could possibly hit me. hit me in the back, send me into a tailspin... yikes.

the car (like in slow-mo) passes by me and i drive through the intersection and look in my rearview mirrors. there's a truck that hasn't left yet, and a few other cars. i don't know whether i should stop, keep going, turn around... the trucks finally take off and go and i'm wondering if i should try and help. maybe i want to be more empathetic or helpful since nicole was just in a hit and run.

finally i turn around and try to see what's up, there's already a cop car there. that's good. i hover for a bit and finally park behind the cop car. i get out of my car, but the cop is in the middle of the street picking up the car's bumper out of the way. i second guessed whether it was actually a white minivan i saw fleeing from the scene, or maybe was i just mistaken. the cop isn't really paying any attention to me, so i just get back in my car and leave. i figure i can't really help. i drive away, but i'm scared. i do my usual post almost accident drive, driving 6mph and finding someone on the phone to console me.

sometimes i get scared about what i'd be missing out on in my life if i died. all the things i haven't done yet. do i hurry up and do them now? you never can tell what's going to happen to you. are all these almost accidents telling me that i should appreciate what i have? enjoy what i do have, make the most of what's going on? i know i've been questioning a few things in my life lately... maybe i shouldn't be questioning, maybe i should make lemonade out of lemons. it's all too complex for me to think about right now... but be safe my babies okay? it may not be your fault, but it could still happen to you. <3

my guilty pleasures worlds have collided.

hahaha... check this out:

moana

susan

jehan

kristen

tara
(her profile wasn't set to private before - all their profiles must have blown up recently)

if you know me, you know that i am HIGHLY addicted to myspace. and that i also love love LURVE the bachelor. guilty pleasures indeed. so after some surfing on monday i found that the lovely bachelorettes are also myspacers. which is so funny to me, because it makes me want to look up everyone who's anyone because most likely you will find them on myspace. not that i didn't know that before because i've spent a lot of time stalking co-workers, old school friends, random people... you can find almost anyone... it's cool - yet scary how accessible everyone is. BUT.. it's funny because it's not like these girls just signed up for myspace after the show, but they have been part of it for a long time too. and it's funny to read the comments from their actual friends, and plus to/from each other. i would have thought that none of them would talk to moana ever again - but they are leaving nice lovely messages to each other about how they miss each other so much. and that shows you the power of editing of reality tv. i am also very jealous because jehan has pictures with hot jerry from the jen scheft bachelorette season. probably at some bachelor reunion/celebration party. i wonder if they cut out the scene of the bachelor where the girls are like "oh you're on myspace, i am too?!" you know they did... that's part of regular introductory lingo nowadays.

my early pick was moana :) and she's TOTALLY going to win now that susan is out of the running. no way that sarah tennessee can beat her. puh-leeze. too bad i didn't actually take the $100 bet with jeff or i'd be way happier. haha.

i also love baking - and last night at target beth helped me find a cupcake stand. i wanted one so long ago - i almost bought one for $20 at michaels. i got the one from target for $5 on sale. yes!! this also prompted more hilarity from my mom:

my mom: what did you buy at target?
me: a cupcake stand
my mom: what?
me: a cup. cake. stand.
my mom: huh?
me: a STAND
my mom: like to decorate cupcakes with?
me: (realizing she thinks i'm saying sand) - no.. stand to put cupcakes in

one last thing...

congrats to the people at my work, we won the Visual Effect Society's (VES) awards for "Outstanding Visual Effects in a Music Video" for Nine Inch Nails Only... whoo hoo.. :)

just in time for valentine's day:

boys are idiots.

the end.

i really should be sleeping - especially if i want to be of any use later today.. but.. i just wanted to post a quick blog. i watched annapolis tonight. despite some people saying it wasn't very good and it doing so poorly in the box office (i still can't believe it's losing to big momma's house) i really liked it. but that's how everything goes - i usually like those movies that people say aren't so great :P it's the whole surpassing expectations thing. so yea.. i am cheesy and i cheered a little bit when "directed by justin lin" came up. i know.. cheesy. but so i think you all should go see it. please please beat big momma's house... the sequel nonetheless. it's not a totally military movie, yet not a total boxing movie - a nice little combination of both. plus a side of friendship and love story. and jordana brewster is really pretty by the way. and of course there is james franco with no shirt on :P but seriously.. go see annapolis - i mean.. it's not the riveting life altering movie - but it's feel good and enjoyable and does makes you care about the characters. it's gotta be better than big momma's house... although i bet #1 will be when a stranger calls or something.

ps. in the previews they had this scary scary preview for this movie with a boy on a swing. i can't tell you much more than that because i put my hands up to sheild my view and carol closed her eyes... we so were not having that scary movie business. i'm definitely glad i did because i'm sure i would be having nightmares. but i'm a little bit curious. anyone want to tell me what it's about (in the non-scariest way possible) :)

my gmail is down

my myspace is undergoing maintenance..

hmm. trusty blogger.. here you are.

hilarity from my mom:

my mom: are you coming home tomorrow?
me: mmm... i don't think so, i'm going to a contender fight tomorrow
my mom: a what?
me: a boxing match
my mom: boxing? you're going to go and be all buff and muscley (aka manly)
me: umm.. i'm going to watch, not going to fight in it
my mom: oh.

hahahah.. i thought it was funny.

update:

so i'm paying $35 for my doctor's office to provide me with copies of my own freaking medical records. there's a law that states that they are only allowed to charge you a reasonable cost (supplies, labor, postage) for you to mail your records. honestly - i think that $35 is a little high and unreasonable, but that whole "reasonable" thing is subjective. besides if they're going to charge me $15 to hand my papers to a copy service and i have to pay the copy service way more than $20.. so i guess whatever. they won't make copies until i pay them, so i had to give them my cc# and they say they can only make copies on tuesday & thursday, because they see patients all day on monday, wednesday, fridays. apparently - they are incapable of something i like calling doing more than one thing at a time, or rather, not being an idiot. but they can't make copies until next tuesday because the doctor is on vacation this week and he needs to okay the records to be sent out. (although you could question why they're so busy if the doctor is out. but i know that they bring in a temp doctor when my doctor likes to go on vacation, which is fairly often).

i know i'm making a big fuss over this little thing, but after all the shit having gone through - i think they are just being ridiculous. this is how they treat people - it's sort of retarded. they're so retarded. they're rude and retarded and never EVER go to see dr. irvine in hermosa beach because they're the absolute worst. i almost feel like typing up my "story" and sitting outside their offices and passing it out to people who would be going to see them. hah. my other chiropractor already gave the records and he says that people usually do it as a courtesy. my mom says that it's because i am currently a patient with the other chiro, and that i'm not with the first chiro, but regardless i don't think anything really justifies their behavior. assholes.

&*^%#^@)&!!

remember the incident with the worst chiropractic office EVER!!? well they are back. little things, but not stuff i wanted them to add on their long list of assholeness.

my lawyers called me today saying that dr. irvine's staff, specifically gabby, won't release my papers and the medical statement because they're "too understaffed" to get the paperwork together to send over to my lawyer's office. seriously? it takes you that much effort to fax over some paperwork that between 3 people you can't do it? you must be incompetent. but we already knew that. so my lawyer says we have to pay a copy service to go over to hermosa (my lawyer's offices are located in alhambra) and pick up the papers so they can make copies of them. furthermore, we have to pay dr. irvine's office FIFTEEN DOLLARS to prepare the paperwork to be picked up. seriously?! i have to pay you $15 to pull a file out of a drawer?!! i know $15 isn't a whole lot of money, but it's the principle here people. i mean.. if they said they were charging us $15 to send my lawyer's the copies.. i'd grumble a little bit, but i wouldn't be this outraged. granted.. maybe my paper work isn't all in one file (because they suck ass) and maybe they have to do some work to put it together.. but that's not my fault they aren't organized? everyone i know says "how hard is it to get some paperwork, push print, or copy?" my second chiropractor (who is awesome by the way - kyle schleicher on wilshire & 7th - 310.395.7535) has one assistant, ONE, and he managed to get the paperwork through. they're totally being spiteful bitches. i can't believe that's how they run their company. i'm going to call tomorrow and see what they say if i want to pick up my own files.. they'll want to charge me too.. this initimidating looking biker like man (but totally nice) offered to go pick up my paper work (and i wanted to add rough em up a little bit) - but i don't want to have to resort to that. i don't know.. i hate this crap, i hate them, why can't they just get over the fact that i left because they suck ass and give me my paperwork, why must they be total shitheads. UGH.