mmm.. I don't really have anything interesting to blog about. Then why am I blogging.. you're probably wondering. (or maybe not). I guess it's just to feed my own addiction, and to give you something new to read.. even though it'll suck. Anyways.. I'm still trapped in that blah kind of mood. I don't know.. like.. sometimes its good, and sometimes it's not so good, but there hasn't really been anything to bring me out of the funk. I don't know if I'm being dragged down by the incessant ritual of my everyday life, or I'm being bogged down by school or Circle K. I know this is going to sound really really bad... but lately I've been wondering why I ran for President. Like maybe I should have just had a little more foresight, and this position has really bogged things down. Like around Convention a lot of people were like "yay.. I'm done" and I was never really like that.. but now.. I wish I was done. And it's almost kind of like I lost that love for CKI that has made us be in the K-Family for so long. So many people have found it again, right when I've lost mine. And I don't know if maybe it's become too much paperwork and not enough of the experience.. or what. I don't know.. people have said that I need a break, or that summer will replenish me.. but that just can't seem to come soon enough.

School is a whole other issue that I won't get into.. but things are winding down, and although I feel like they should because it's so long, I don't have that feeling like my classes are wrapping up. I don't know.. maybe cuz I missed that one week of school? Who knows. But there just seems like there is so much to do and I have no motivation to do it... I really just want to like.. I don't know.. sit in the middle of my room and do absolutely nothing. And it's kind of odd because lately I've been feeling so lost. And that there's really no one to talk to, because if I do, I feel like they don't really understand me or that I'm burdening them, or I just sound lame and whiny. And no one wants that. And when I try to find people to understand me... and I don't.. it just makes it worse I guess. I don't know really. I spent tonight by myself watching Felicity, and that was a lot of fun. It's sad that it's coming to an end, but I guess it's better than having really lame episodes. To go out on your own, rather than forced out by the system. Spending time by yourself isn't necessarily bad... unless you want to be around people. But I don't want to be around people just for the sake of being around people... but I want to be around people who want to be around me and that we'll have a good time together. Is that too much to ask? Because I'm starting to think that maybe it is. When I'm out all I want to do is go home, and when I'm at home all I want to do is be out. I am one confused chick. I really do think I need to get out of here though.. away from everything... three more weeks.