so when i originally started this blog, and i thought of the title, it was something that i made up, that just seemed to fit. i guess my blogger could fit in where tv is, although sometimes it is not so cooperative. but when i made up the title.. it was based on the fact that when i was little, and my parents were working, my sister off doing her own things..the tv was the only one that would always be there for me. it kept me company when i needed it, made me laugh, it was always there for me, no matter what. although this seems lame and selfish and dorky, i do find comfort in stability and knowing that something will always be there for me.

in other episodes of today, this was not the case. i complained the other day about what a crappy situation i was in, well it got worse. and i complain not so that you will feel pity for me, but so that i can vent freely without feeling bad that i forcing anyone to listen to me whine. i guess this week is just not a good week for trusting people. i laid myself out on the line and i got screwed over, twice. i trusted people, and got let down by people who PROMISED they wouldn't, and people that i wouldn't let down because i believed they wouldn't do it to me, but i was wrong. and it's hard to swallow, and hard not to be bitter, because right now i am a bitter bitter angry girl.. and so i'm sorry if i'm bringing anyone down, there's only so much shit one person can take. and people pretend they care so that they can make themselves feel better, or they justify it as survival of the fittest, but there comes a point when you should consider others in your action. and when you choose to fuck someone else over irreparably, because it's what's best for you, don't expect any sympathy, compassion or understanding in return. i honestly have cried so much this past week, that people who are my friends wouldn't have put me through that, wouldn't have made me hurt so much. so right now.. i guess i don't really know anymore. it's hard to trust people, when people that you trusted so much don't come through, so what's to say for the rest of the people you trust.

"promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it"