today has been a day of all sorts. good, bad, ugly...

one thing i forgot to say that happened on saturday night. i got water bombed!! i was driving, and there was a loud boom and water all over my windshield. i felt like josie grossie when she got attacked by eggs from her hs prom date. sadness. it also made my rearview mirror fall off, a little krazy glue, and i was back in action. sunday was chill, i had a hot dinner date with sakura, and then drove back to la. near the checkpoint, there was this truck on fire and i was in trafiic, and didn't move for like 10 minutes. people like turned off their cars and got out. we should have thrown a big party on the freeway. haha.. came home, and watched A Walk to Remember. it was so cute, and mandy moore is so cute, i wish i could be her. shane west was such a sweetie. awww.... okay.. i'll stop.

today i went to my internship, i stayed an hour later, but it was okay. i was hard at work. i got drool over more headshots of my future husband Eli Swanson. and then i got to call clients, including mr. hottie. oh my gosh... i was so nervous, and i might have peed my pants if i actually talked to him, but it was his voicemail, and i left a message, stumbling over all my own words the entire time. i tried to figure out this thing online, and i was so frustrated, and i called the help guy like 5 times, i bet he thought i was a moron. i felt like a total ass everytime he was like "hi jean..." drove home, chilled, ate, did random stuff.

my night turned really bad though. like shane west's character in A Walk to Remember, he didn't have any faith because he had been let down too many times. and i'm kind of like that, except I'm not smart enough to accept it, and keep on having this naivete about the world that i can trust people, and not to turn your back on other people because it's not nice, and others wouldn't turn their back on you. so yeah.. i know i sound cynical, but there are so many times that i've been let down. needless to say, i had a bitch of a night. it was not pleasant. and i guess i really do need to be more careful about who i trust, who i talk to, who i make friends with, who i open up to, because in the end everyone will just trample all over you if you let them. but that's hard.. because i'm not a confrontational person, and i'm not naturally hateful.. so i don't know. thanks to ryan and kimmy, and some night time running i cleared my heard... although still pretty peeved. i don't know what i'm going to do. one more thing... parents are so hard to please. you do one thing, and they want you to do more. you don't do anything, they only want you to do the one thing. but in the end, unless you've done everything, you might as well have not done anything. sounds like some more trampling's a'comin.

"sleeping to dream about you, and i'm so tired" - jmraz