so another holiday has come and gone, and sadly.. my christmas vacation is half over. boo. i need a break from life.. you would think three weeks would be enough to re-coup and get ready for classes, but not so much when you're working tons. *sigh* i know.. i do it to myself.. but i don't know. and i was so sure i was going to quit and devote more time to cki and school, but now i'm not so sure about it anymore. yeesh. why am i so wishy washy?

so anyways.. just have been working a whole lot... at the gap and at school. next week will be a busy week cuz i have basketball tournaments, doubleheaders, a swim meet and like 35 hours at the gap... it was 40 but i had to do a little rearranging to make it all work. funny funny.. andy works at the gap in mission valley.. and she called our store to do a stock check.. and it was weird because i thought it was her, but just dismissed it so i didn't sound like an ass, but it was her. everyone works at the gap now.. pity us.

i drove home christmas eve and spent the next few days at with my family, my cousin and her fiancee, and had dessert with sakura. we went to friday's, but i swear.. it's not the same as the one in la jolla.. i wonder why ;) just kidding. but seriously.. the chocolate rush was not nearly as good as i've had it before. weird huh? even sakura said so.. so it's not just me and my bias. tomorrow i have to drive back to sd to work at noon. i was going to drive back tonight.. but ended up not really doing it because.. i don't know.. so many reasons. today i returned some stuff... (yes pete.. i returned stuff the day after christmas). it wasn't that bad.. i really actually like the mall.. it's amusing to see all the rude customers and gloating in the fact that i'm not working. hahahah. jk. but it's nice to be in the hustle and bustle of it all. i watched antwone fisher with joan, karen and ben. we all cried towards the end. and today watched 8 mile at the $3 theater with joan. both the movies were okay.. sometimes slow at points... but aren't super horrible or anything. i swear.. eminem looks like justin timberlake.. there's a slight resemblance.. both me and joan thought so while watching the movie. but i do see val's point about him being fine. i kept laughing to myself because i could hear her voice in my head. but also because there were so many ghetto people in the theater... the galleria is crazy. kind of glad i didn't have to deal with it this year.

so that is my christmas.. i ran in to ali and him mom twice today.. he was following me. haha.. i got the new christina cd. and for christmas got some stuff and the harry potter books i wanted. yes.. i'm really actually going to read. i've only been in torrance for two days.. but still really haven't seen anyone besides the family except for sakura. i guess everyone just resigned to the fact that i was in sd and just forgot about me. sad. but i did get a christmas card from my history teacher in high school, which included a picture of her sons. i'm glad she still thinks about me.. that was exciting.. i need to send out my christmas cards. hehe.. even if they are late. oops. oki dokes.. time for bed.. i have to pack and leave in the morning. hope christmas was well kiddies.

merry christmas peoples!!

whoa.. i don't really know what to say.. but i feel like i have to blog, just because i haven't in awhile. or maybe i just don't know what i'm saying because i'm not all here right now. hmm.. i've just been working tons this week... at the gap and at school for ICA. it's been a good time, but i'm just wicked busy. i went shopping with jill last weekend. worked all week. went home for my mom's bday.. it was a good time.. our whole family hung out and laughed.. not really any fighting.. which is awesome. :) i also got to play with sakura for a little bit in Torrance.. yay!!! and then i came back to work swimming today and then went to jason's vip party at margarita rocks. it was cool.. just sitting and chatting and drinking, a little bit of dancing but not enough. sucky. oh well. maybe next time? hmm.. gotta get up for work early tomorrow.. boo. today's jackie's bday.. and i didn't get to go out with her. she called the house after i had left, which is too bad. sucks for that too. i really did want to go out to dinner with her. and celebrate her bday with her and all that good stuff. this week i'm sure i have to work lots, haven't gotten my schedule but i think it's 40 hours. get to go home for christmas and the day after.. good times. and then who knows. my life is pretty boring.. no big hoopla.. just me and my computer.

but i still do think that i'm doomed to be the purseholder for life. boo.

so i'm done with school.. it's pretty exciting.. but then also boring at the same time. now i feel as if my life has no purpose. wow.. what a loser huh? i'm in a way blah mood right right now.. i'm pretty restless, and don't want to go to sleep, but don't really want to do anything else.. and it's 4am. geez. there are a million things going through my head, and i'm just trying to think about them all, but it seems like they don't have an answer. although jackie always says you always have a choice, sometimes i feel like you just don't. but then i guess it's my choice to do nothing at all right.. another one of those questions i can't really answer. maybe these three weeks of working and not trying to be too busy will be good, but in that boring depressing i have no life or friends kind of way. we'll see.

in other news:
* i'm done done with finals, and i think it did alright.. we'll see how those grades turn out though because i was not doing so hot during the quarter due to the general lack of busy-ness. my sound project turned out excellently, and if any of you ever want to listen to my project that i slaved over and poured my heart into... feel free to ask. it's about 9/11 and it's called "a day in the life".. but it's not cheesy.. but actually really good.. suprisingly.. cuz i did it right?

*i ate 50% off sushi (yum), hung out a bit with justin, and then baked cookies with kimmy and then watched dawson's ... i want an eddie. audrey is a ho.

*played in the gap with sakura and kathy and then went out to "done with finals" dinner with jill and jason. then went to pete's show and after-show hang out dealio. i got to use Aran's camera to help him tape the show and became an "honorary Crispy".. i have to come up with a coolio name. and no matter what they say i think pete and isaac sounded real good, and pete played this cover of this john mayer song that i really adore, so i was real happy during that song. it was chill.. except i got WAY lost on the way to the show due to bad directions from the coffee bean & tea leaf website. for some reason i'm retarded and ended up in a gated community on top of a large hill when i was supposed to be at a coffee shop in mira mesa. apparently "didn't all the signs that say poway give you a hint" wasn't something i considered, since i thought maybe you could go through poway to get to mira mesa. thus proving i know nothing about where anything is in san diego.. even after 4 years. i am LAME.

*i get to work women's basketball this weekend, which is fun, i like basketball.. i like my athletics job. i'm excited for tuesday for the men's game to see michael and cameron play. i miss living on campus two doors down from them. and i'm working 36.5 hours next week on top of the three athletic events and driving home to see my mom for her birthday. yay home. but it sounds like i will be a busy girl.

*one last thing.. for some reason, some how.. i don't feel like it's christmas. i listen to the christmas music at work, see the red bags and boxes that gap especially made for the holidays, and watch people buy gifts all day long, but yet i still feel as christmas is so far away. i feel like i lost that christmas spirit or something.. i don't know. i'm still buying presents for people when i see fit, and see something they like.. but i'm not all excited because christmas is 12 days away... it doesn't even seem like it's december. weird huh? is it just me?

i am breathing one huge sigh of relief tonight. i'm not officially done with finals, but i am done with a huge portion of it. and it feels great. i've been at scholl until 4, 5, 6am for the past three days, and i'm finally done with that project. *whew* and i had my 10 page paper due, and was kind of freaking out this morning cuz i fell asleep and woke up late and had like 8 hours do my paper.. but i got it done rather easily.. so that was exciting. it was a little late, but i still got to turn it in.. so it's all good. i had that great feeling and blasted my justin timberlake album at full volume in my apartment (i'm sure the neighbors loved that)... until i got a call from maurene saying our sound project wasn't done. ugh.. that just sucked. so i went back to school to work on dithering the master fader and adding auxilary tracks. yeah.. what the hell does that mean anyways? but it's done and i don't give a shit anymore... hahaha this is one of our funny conversations between maurene and i at 4am in the lab.

maurene: so we have to name our project
jean: oh shit... well what should we name it?
*we think of many cheesy titles... 10 minutes later*
jean: how about "the best project in the class" so that when giovanna announces it she can say "you're listening to 'the best project in the class'"
maurene: haha.. how about "give me an A+ bitch"
jean: or "my project is better than yours"
maurene: no no no, it should be "you're listening to 'beat this assholes!'"

i love that girl maurene, so is so funny and great. i'm really glad that i got to work with her, she motivated me to do better, or for sure my project would not have turned out as well as it did. :) cuz she's not a slacker.. unlike me. haahaha. hmm.. so i'm DONE with the sound project, i'm DONE with my ten page paper. all that's left is my 2 page self evaluation, and to contribute to editing the documentary.. but those are fun and low key assignments. i might go see Bowling for Columbine, as that last ditch extra credit effort. and i have to go to a final screening tonight and tomorrow night.. but hey.. i sit around for three hours and listen to our gay ass projects.. i'm sooooo relieved because the hard stuff is over. yay. one more quarter survived. :)

in other notes.. we went to friday's for a celebratory dessert/snack thing (yeah at 1am.. great). hahaha.. there's a new friday's waiter interest developing (not me).. but it's ironic nonetheless. yikes... we're in trouble. oh yeah.. there's a duplex in la jolla that is empty that is across the driveway from our friends. it seems interesting.. i really do miss living in la jolla, i'd almost pack and move for it. that's kind of exciting, and my dad always keeps telling me to live closer to school, and in a nicer area. :) but i don't know if it's really plausible, or a reality.. but hey.. it's worth looking into right? and i could live next to the hot trader joe's guy. hahahahha. i'm retarded.

so it's 5:25am on Monday, and i'm blogging from school... why? because i'm still here after three hellish nights of editing in the sound lab.. and i'm still not done. finals are ass raping me.. and i still have a paper to write (which i haven't even interviewed any of my subjects yet) and some documentary i'm supposed to help, except they don't want any.. so my participation evaluation will look something like "i didn't do anything.. i suck." yeah.. basically.. i hate finals.

well it's the end of 10th week, which means the end of my fall classes... ever!! wow.. my last fall quarter.. kind of scary. i don't really know what i'll be doing in a year.. hopefully something good, somewhere good, with someone good.. haha jk. but yeah.. and it just seems so blah.. like i feel like there should be more excitement or fanfare.. but there's not... and it's just me.. sitting alone in my apt... watching tv while the apartment below me has a party.

wednesday had class and then a 4 hour circle k meeting.. joy, oh joy. thursday i worked and then went to the computer lab to work on my sound project. it was kind of cool to edit the sounds on the computer.. i felt all pro, or like i was smart or something... and stayed until 11:30pm or so until i decided that i needed to go home to sleep so that i could get up for work.. today!! was at work for 9 hours.. and was completely pooped. dude.. never go grocery shopping when you're tired because all i bought were easy foods... i bought all frozen dinners.. those Ralphs people must think i'm so lazy. dah.. who cares.

i should really be studying for finals or writing my paper or something... my documentary class.. i'm a little worried... because part of my grade is participation in the projects.. but these two people i'm helping don't want help.. so what am i supposed to do? and then when i write my self evaluation.. haha.. what do i say? oh well.. i'm sure the teacher understands.. or at least i hope she will. i've given up on trying to get good grades. hahah.. is that bad? i came home so pooped that i put my ice cream in the fridge (yeah.. the fridge) and then just watched tv all night. i *heart* harry potter... i swear i've watched that movie like 4 times this week.. it's the best. :) nicole and i want to go to hogwarts, and i want to be on the quidditch team.. i think that would rock. so.. i also watched sex in the city and then an hour of elimidate (among many other things). but the reason i mention elimidate is because.. i don't know... it's something i've been thinking about a lot lately.. and i was watching these shows.. and i also hope that the guy will do the right thing and pick the good girl, and not just go for the ho. but time and time again it never fails, whichever girl throws herself at him.. he'll pick. which.. i dunno.. by now shouldn't suprise me, but still does. like is that what you really have to do to get someone to like you? make out with them, and then other girls on his command? and then stick your hand down his pants, and then jump in his bed? it just doesn't seem like the way to go, or maybe i shouldn't watch elimidate for tips on dating.. but isn't that how the real world works? but it just seems like that's what the standard is for today... put out or get out.. haha.. and then if someone doesn't conform.. doesn't that mean they'll just be left behind? doomed to be purseholders for life?

this blog is for nicole.. because she bugged me all night to blog because it "amuses" her (yay.. i'm glad my sorry pathetic life amuses someone) and i've finally gotten around to it.. after she went to bed. hhaha.. but anyways..

i'm back at school and stressin' over the hell that will be my life over the next two weeks with finals. yuk.

hmm.. thanksgiving was good.. as much as i tried to be productive.. i was still a bum. it's the first real break i've had in a long long time. i left all my cki stuff in san diego, brought some school work, brought my pictures and photo albums to organize and my seventeen magazine with justin on the cover.. and i was good to go. oh.. and my laundry.. don't forget the laundry :) saturday, before i left, my parents and i went to go see die another day. i didn't like it so much, and i thought that maybe i just wasn't a huge bond freak... and just to uncool to appreciate it.. but i heard a lot of other people didn't like it so much either. there were too many gratuitous love scenes that seemed to be put in because sex sells, or maybe i just felt uncomfortable watching it with my parents. but i also don't really like halle berry too much either.. so i don't know.. but i remember really liking tomorrow never dies, and i wasn't so impressed with this one. hmm.. we ate lunch and i took a quick nap. i was going to get my hair cut, but in the end decided that i didn't have enough time, and i didn't want a rushed job to be done on my hair cut.. so.. we fore-goed the haircut. drove back to SD to get to Annie's LRC (living room concert). i got amazingly lost trying to take a "short-cut" haha.. but made it okay... it was awesome.. annie is the greatest.. and it was chill to hang out with cool people. that night i ate something funny and got super sick.. and then next morning i woke up to wicked stomach pains.. and as i contemplated going to work and trying to get ready, i realized that i couldn't even really walk to the bathroom, so i didn't really think i could handle cleaning, sweeping and folding clothes for 4 hours, especially not for minimum wage. was bed ridden all day, kept myself from puking and just laid around trying to feel better. sleep really does wonders though, because i slept all day, got up showered, went back to bed, and then hung out with philly for bit (more like she hung out with me and my tv and oliver hudson while i tried not to puke) and then went back to bed. today i still felt a little sick but a hundred times better than yesterday. whoo hoo.

so yay for not being sick. boo for the dmv because i can't get my $12 back because the already processed my new license.. damn them. anyone want to buy a real fake id? just kidding. hmm. today i rested.. and then went to class. and then circle k. we had a good amount of people show up. i think it was the free food :) which i couldn't really eat a lot of because my stomach was still being a little queasy.. damn it. :P hailes even cooked and made taquitos!! i wanted to eat like 20 of them.. but couldn't get past the two on my plate.. they were goooood though.. you should invite him to all of your potluck parties. :) i have a million things to do .. but i don't really know where to start.. all my roommates are gone, so i'm all alone in my apartment.. i hope the locks on my doors are good. i feel like i should be doing some school work or circle k work.. but i just want to sleep all day. yes.. sleep is good.. sleep is nice.. la di da di da.

mmm.. shopping. today was a good day. i spent quite a bit of money. which is actually bad, because i have no money to spend, and i should be saving up.. but alas.. i'm not. bad me. but hey! i had a good time!! woke up around noon.. showered.. (yes.. very important) and then chilled around the house. finally got my butt in gear and out to the mall. i was trying to find a shopping partner, but i think everyone was already out from the early morning, and plus my fav shopping buddy moved away :( i miss you angelee!! so anyhoo.. i bought tons of stuff, some for other people, and some for myself, and shopped until i felt like i had covered the whole mall. all three floors. it was stupendous. i got myself some shoes, and a mixer, and some porn.. i mean A&F catalogue. hahah.. and some christmas presents.. ooh and a free stitch doll from the disney store.. it's soooooooo cute :)

hmm. so anyways.. ate leftovers, and chilled all night. my nose started running.. it seems as if i'm getting sick. boo.. but there was a wicked thunder and lightning storm tonight.. and it rained hard. it was interested. i drank my hot cocoa and it was all good. :) tomorrow i get to watch 007 with my mommy and then i'm probably headed back down to san diego to chill with the girlies. :) and then work on sunday i'm sure. yes.. my life is exciting.. i assure you. :) oki dokes.. off to bed!! happy post thanksgiving shopping.. don't do any of the mean things that pete does!! be nice to employees and shoppers. they're hard workers :)

so.. thanksgiving has come and gone. sort of. there will always be the leftovers to remind me of it. shoot.. i forgot to take a picture of the dinner table. *sigh*.. oh well. this year i actually helped cook!! yay me.. and it was DELICIOUS. i don't know if it was the satisfaction of knowing that i had helped, or just because i haven't really eaten real food that was homecooked in so long. maybe both.. but i ate tons.. and five hours later i'm still full.

so.. i really should have left SD tuesday night, but i didn't. and i paid the consequences. i didn't get to go on my hot date with Carrie, we'll have to reschedule.. i hope she can pencil me in. hahaha... i do feel bad because i really wanted to hang out with her, and because i was too lazy.. i didn't get the chance to. sad. tuesday i cleaned up my room some more... and then went to bed late, 5am late. got up a few hours later, 11-ish.. too late to hang out with Carrie.. cleaned some more, packed and thought that I lost my wallet. completely freaked out, put holds on all my credit cards, searched everywhere for my wallet, and then spent 2 hours in the dmv getting a new license. down and depressed i came home and took a nap to kill time before leaving for la to miss the holiday traffic. and when i awoke, i did some random things, sat a my computer, and there my wallet was, under a stack of papers. i am LAME. i seriously stressed out so much, and then to have it sitting there under a stack of papers.. the one place i didn't look. so simple. duh. so i suck.. i drove home, but not before saying hello to my neighbor across the way.

got home around 11pm, chilled, organized my photo album.. yay.. my pictures make me happy. today after many hours of much needed sleep i woke up and helped cook thanksgiving dinner, while doing some laundry. i just rested all day, and soaked in the atmosphere of home.. including the yelling and fighting.. but it's all good. i guess it's what makes home home .. like chandler on friends.. he didn't feel like it was thanksgiving until his friends started yelling and fighting. anyways.. after eating a glorious dinner.. me and my very full stomach went to go see harry potter and the chamer of secrets with my hot date Sakura. it was a good movie, and i'm totally officially hooked. except that the movie was pretty scary.. i don't know how little kids watch that stuff. or maybe i'm just easily frightened.. but nicole says that the continuing books get darker.. hmm.. but anyways.. it's definitely enjoyable... it's funny about how uninterested i was when the first one came out. i had no inclination to see it, and then i saw it on the plane just because it was free and there, and now i can't get enough. although i'm not quite as obsessed as nicole :)

anyhoo.. i feel as if i should awake early to go take advantage of those shopping deals.. but i deal with retail all day and night that i might just take a break. :) i will the get the sleep that i so need and deserve because i know i won't be getting any in the next two weeks. maybe do a bit of homework and hit up the mall just for fun, because the galleria rocks my world. i miss home sometimes.. like, not all the rules and restrictions, but just the comfort and familiarity. it's nice.. i love torrance. and i love my queen bed. and i love home cooked meals, and not paying for laundry... and of course my parents ;) okay.. enough cheese.. just know that i'm thankful for a lot of things, even if i don't say so or act like it all the time. and of course i'm thankful for you. :)

happy birthday pete holiday!!

pete is my birthday buddy, his bday is one week after mine :) although he doesn't feel like his birthday is special... it is, cuz all birthdays are.. so go make a big fuss and wish him a happy birthday. hahaha.

hmm.. today was kind a waste of a day.. although i did clean my room.. sort of.. so i kind of got something accomplished. the quote from the previous blog was from southpark. i watched it with beth and brianne and her friend kevin at 2am on sunday morning. south park is the best ever.. i love it. hmm.. anyways.. worked the water polo tournament last friday and saturday. mmm.. wet hot boys in speedos.. they were all too fine. :) and i was sitting right next to all of them. and getting paid nonetheless. man oh man.

Friday night i went to Allyn's show at the firehouse museum in Little Italy. It was an interesting place, and there were some other artists, but it was really well decorated, and kind of fun.. and it was my first show where i got a "i'm 21 and not a loser" stamp. :) instead of the "i'm a loser don't serve me alcohol" stamp. anyhoo.. Saturday morning i went to TJ Meal Sacks before water polo. It was really good, Carli did a really good job of organizing it. a lot of people came.. and people had a good time, so I'm glad. water polo all day :) and then annie's party and show later that night. it was good, it was jam-packed and a million people were there. but it was cool, just a little hot. beth came down, and she enjoyed it. we went to tgi friday's where she forgot to order my food without jalapeno peppers, and i totally burned my mouth out. haahah.. got served by my "favorite" waiter.. and then we just hung out and slept that night. fun fun slumber party times. oh.. and watched south park of course :). sunday i worked... i'm really dreading work, and it's not so fun anymore.. which makes me feel like i have a short attention span, and a little bit worried about the "real world" when i can't just quit my job if i don't like it. but maybe i'm just sick of retail. hmph.. who knows.. i'm just sick of a lot of things in my life right now. monday i did shipment and i was the lead person, and apparently i did a good job, so yay me. had class and then circle k, and then i kind of hung out with kimmy, but we were supposed to go out and didn't.. blah. oh well.. i got to see her way cute apt. *sigh* i miss living in la jolla.

today i cleaned, ran some errands, and i went to class. i got out of class early, and i really should have went home, but i wasn't anticipating it.. so i wasn't planning on going home, and made plans. but i got out of class at 6, totally could have made it home in time to see my sister and my grandma off, but i stayed because i had already made plans. which sucked because all of the plans fell through. gay. so i feel like i just totally wasted my entire night. and super bummed because i was excited to see my grandma this weekend, but now that she changed her flight, i won't get to see her until june. dang it. hmm.. so anyways.. i should probably clean and finish packing so that i can leave early tomorrow and go on my hot lunch date with the international vice president. :) man.. i feel so special. anyways.. HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!

"jesus crap dancing christ"

i'm sorry that i haven't really been keeping up with the blogging. yet people continue to check my blogger because the counter keeps going up. wow.. people love me.. or hate me really.. cuz i've found that to be the case too, but more on that later.

it's been awhile.. things have happened... one thing that hasn't is that I haven't gotten fired yet. yay!! i should have, because i was a late once.. but they love me, so i got a "get out of jail free." but either way, work is work, i go in for 3 hour shifts at 6am to process their shipment and then go home and usually take a nap. it kinda sucks.. i'm so not a 6am person. yuk. i get to go home next week, which is exciting. no gap for almost an entire week! whoo hoo. not that i don't enjoy it.. just sometimes it's a little too much.

we went to FTC it was a good time. it's so weird.. as i get older, things become less fun, or just a fun in a different way. i've gone to so many of these events, and like ICON or FTC this year, I was really low key, just kind of hung out with my club and a few friends. i wasn't all over the place or interested in meeting everyone, which is little bad, but i've become really anti-social cki wise, just in terms of trying to meet everyone. i dunno.. do i feel as if everyone should know who i am? or is it like that whole senior thing where you just kind of don't care anymore. i remember when i was a freshman i wanted to know who everyone was, and by the end of my senior year, i realized i only really know my class and half of the other classes.. maybe that's just how it works eh? and not to sound really conceited or anything.. but it's weird going to these district events and not needing to do anything, or for anyone to really know who you are or want to talk to you. it's not really like an issue of my ego, but to spend a year in the spotlights, and to be doing so much.. it's weird to not have that anymore. like after joe wasn't governor anymore he would always say that he didn't know what to do with his time anymore, like he didn't know how to spend his free time when there wasn't cki stuff to do. and it's hitting me and i was only a ltg, i wonder what it's like for bigger people. hmm.. not that it really matters much though ... i guess. whatever.. kathy knows how i feel.. she agrees with me. :P

but anyways.. FTC was good.. we flew to avoid the massive headache of 10 hour drives and getting lost. and after seeing all the people come in at 2am and the horror stories of accidents .. i was really glad we spent the extra money to fly. i got to drive the fancy rental car, that was exciting, and we got a little lost in berkeley, where i got all nostalgic and weepy and called angelee like 5 times .. i'm a dork. we got to see opening session, which was so funny, and chilled. hung out with crazy nicole and carrie, made kiwanis hospital dolls, went to workshops. we watched the campfire skits saturday night.. they were really good and so funny too. now i want a fairy god-jigga too. :P so does nicole. we need fairy god-jigga's.. does anyone know where we could get them? the dance on saturday night was fun too. seriously.. i'm getting old, because i kept getting tired and had to sit down. weird. hmm.. we left after the dance, drove at 2am.. kathy and i talked the entire way back. i'm glad i could keep her awake. sakura, kathy and i all crashed out on the plane, sleeping on top of each other in our three seats. i got home and slept all day and then went to a work meeting. yay for holiday at the gap :)

work sunday - thursday.. doing shipment and just work at the gap in general. it's cool because we have friends and family day coming up.. and instead of it just being immediate family.. i get 20 invitations to send to whoever i want!! whoo hoo. discounts for everyone! hmm. i'm going to fail all of my classes though.. i am just half assing it through the year, and i think all of my teachers can sense that. yuk. i used to be such an over acheiver in school.. i went to cams for gods sake. what happened to me? i dunno..weird. monday was our new installation banquet. it was a good time. kathy did a BEAUTIFUL job planning and taking care of everything. she rocks the house, no wonder she's going to be the "international president" hahahaha.. it was great, and interesting as well. there are some crazy people out there. yesterday was my 21st birthday.. whoo hoo. tuesday night we went to friday's at midnight, me, vivian, sakura and rachel. rachel's a new member in cki.. she's so great, and so funny. we're going to have her take sakura and i go bar hopping.. cuz she knows all of the places. sakura and i did a stoplight shot.. it was fun. wednesday i TOTALLY forgot i had work after my class. i was supposed to go to a basketball training session, and completely didn't even remember until an hour after it started. i rushed over there and caught the tail end of it. i'm kind of excited for basketball season..i hope i get to do the book a lot. then jill, jason, sakura, kristen and i went to margarita rocks. it was interesting, my first time in a bar/club. i mean... a real one.. those tj ones don't count. andy and jen came by later after they saw the bond movie, and chris was there with his friend.. so it was fun to be around people i knew. it was funny because all these guys kept coming up and trying to freak with sakura, and she was all freaked out. and this one real scary dude kept trying to talk to kristen. i lost my wallet and totally freaked out.. but some angel of a girl turned it in to the front desk and the security guard gave it to me. i love them both. all in all it was a good night.. hey hey.. you can't beat 10 cent chicken wings and 91 cent margaritas :)

anyways.. my birthday was fun.. i can't really complain.. i find out who really cares and in what capacity. i taped dawson's creek, and watched it today.. it was too cute. philly.. you're going to die when you watch it. haahah. anyhoo.. tomorrow and saturday i get to work at the wwpa water polo championships.. whoo hoo.. hot boys in speedos. lovely. also annie's cd release party is saturday.. that should be fun. i dunno.. my life is just kind of a blur.. maybe because i'm tired. but i get to go home soon and take a break from it all... hopefully. but i have a hot date on tuesday.. so i can't complain. whoo hoo! :)

ps... does anyone have a sleeping bag i can borrow?

so i've basically wasted my entire day and night... and just when i was going to post about getting my act together, and getting on the ball with things. it's weird.. because when i have so many things to do.. instead of becoming more efficient, i just get more apathetic.. and end up not doing anything at all.. which makes the situation worse. yuk. i need to have more discipline and dedication. some people i know do it really well, and get their stuff together.. how do they do it? and why am i such a slacker. yuk.... so basically i spent today working, and then napping, eating and chit chatting with the roommates. we even had a fun 15 minute cuddle session in brianne's bed.. where i also fell asleep for 2 hours after she left for work. went to class for three hours (was late of course) and then back home, where i ate waaaaaay too much of cotixan's, watched tons of the real world and then chatted up a storm once i was gone. thanks to philly i was highly amused and entertained as we both didn't want to do our homework. we're such bad influences on each other, but we're funny, and cute.. so you gotta love us. :P and also there was carrie and nicole and my new friend judy who's a rabid jason mraz and nsync fan. whoo hoo.. she's got good taste. hmm. i'm still not really making sense.. probably because it's 3am, i didn't do my hw yet and my carne asada is coming back to haunt me. time for bed!

ONE MORE WEEK!! WHOO HOO.

i don't really have anything important to say.. but i'm bored... so you get to hear me ramble. hmm. i didn't get to go home.. because i don't know, because i was tired, and lazy, and my dad told me to stay in san diego. especially because it was raining, and he didn't want me to drive in the rain. but anyhoo. hmm.. thursday i worked, and then slept.. quite eventful. although i did get a surge of energy and stayed up to finished crocheting the scarf that i'm making myself for ftc because i realized that i'm too broke to buy myself one. even with my discount from the gap. anyways... and then i watched movies by myself... coyote ugly and the sweetest thing. all gay romantic comedies that make me sad and even more bitter, and even more a believer that i'm going to die an old woman with my cats. ahahahha... yes.. i'm a bitter chick. but i told brianne that i wanted to be a coyote, and she told me that she knew i would want to be after i saw that movie. am i the perfect consumer or what?

anyways.. so yeah, for some odd reason i decided to stay up, and then after that ended up cleaning my room and staying up until 4am. that means i stayed up for 23 hours yesterday... what is wrong with me? i slept in today, which is nice, registered for classes, and then ran errands. it's rained all day today in san diego, which is kind of nice.... i needed a car wash. haha.. but it's interesting to see rain every once in awhile. call me crazy, but i sort of get sick of the sun all the time. but... i got a big fat disgusting parking ticket this morning for having the back end of my car in the red zone while parking in front of my complex. sucks.. i hate my complex and where i live.. it blows mad goats. i partly deserve it because i knew that i was in the red and was too lazy to move it, but it's frustrating because there's this asian rice rocket that parks in the red every single day and never gets a ticket, never gets towed.. what the heck!! so anyways... that's another $60 that i don't have. geeez. yuck.

i've sent out a lot of cd's to do jason mraz b&p's, so when i get that back i will be a happy girl. ftc is next weekend, so i get to travel and fly, and possible drive a rental car. it's always exciting driving cars that aren't yours. but i feel kind of bad because i don't feel like we have all of our shit pulled together, but hopefully it'll work out in the end. i have a ton of homework to do, and should not have just sat around bored around my apt all night, but i've really lost so much motivation to do anything but sit around. crazy enough i'm even considering leaving school early, like being done with my classes and starting "work" in january. how scary is that? jean in the real world. anyways.. i'm pretty beat.. either sleep or homework. probably sleep. i'm a lazy bum. my grandma is coming to torrance on tuesday... yay!! too bad i won't be there to hang out with her. i think my aunt from ny is coming too, and i think my dad took some time off to spend some qt with them. which is nice, i miss being able to be a part of that. but it's sad because it'll be so different that my grandfather isn't around anymore... i wonder how my grandma is now. we will see, we will see. okay.. enough ranting about nothing... comment or shout in my shout box. leave me some love people.

eleven more days!!

phew... well this one should be a long one, but it's going to be rather short. apologies. i need to go to bed (yes.. i know it's 10pm) so that i can wake up early so i can get to my 6am shift on time so that I don't get fired from my unfortunate job at gap. crazyness huh? I'm going to get fired. anyways.. so *phew* masquerade ball is over. now there's just a million more things to take care of that come after it. i've been telling people i feel like it never really happened because i was running around so much that the time just flew by, and i was never really in one place for too long that it just kind of was a huge blur. the dj wasn't spectacular, but he was okay, and definitely better than last year (heck.. me and my boombox would have been better than last year), and annie totally rocked the house. a lot of people came, so i think we may have even made money. pretty good considering i was worried about losing $2000. anyways.. uber thanks to EVERYONE who came, especially those who came at the last minute. everyone who came and supported us, it really means a lot to me that you came, liked it, and had a good time. :)

hm. so enough mushy. i'm finally blogging.. whoooo hooo. not much really. i finished that paper, but it was a bonafide piece of crap. school is definitely not my strong point, my grades are severely lacking this quarter. i just can't really seem to apply myself, which makes me think that i am doing too much... but it's hard to choose which one is the first to go. but also because i'm taking two production classes that involve two very critical teachers and a ton of outside work, which is hard to find the time for, and when i do have the time, i don't have the energy. yikes. anyways.. hopefully that will change, i'll try and focus this weekend... i need to focus. hmm.. not much really. spent halloween and friday night at home doing masquerade ball stuff. retained more proof that boys are evil and unreliable.. haha.. and did the whole masquerade ball thing.. and now i'm just kind of chillin. i've gone to bed every night before midnight this week. i'm catching up on so much sleep. but yeah. so now it's time to go... i hope everyone is doing well. i haven't talked to many people, i've been a little on the antisocial side.. but in and out. hmm.. maybe not antisocial, just not outgoing.. does that make sense? anyways.. i have a million things to do tomorrow... and i was going to go home.. but my dad told me to stay in san diego (how sad is that... ) but he just wants me to rest i guess. so gotta love him for that. i just wanted to go home to do my laundry and get my hair cut. who knows.. i might go anyways.. i need to get out of here..... i haven't been home since school started. yuk. my bday's in less than two weeks... the big TWO - ONE. celebrations are in order.

"don't forget your penis cream, son"

happy halloween everyone.

now come to masquerade ball.

so i'm too tired to write my paper that's due in 10 hours, yet i can blog. i'm such a horrible student. hmm. so it's been awhile.. or at least i feel that way. and part because i've been crazy busy, and part because i wanted to leave that masquerade ball plug in there, hoping it would help. i don't think it has or will, so.. yeah. or maybe i'll just do another one. but i felt like i wanted to blog because i got sick of seeing the same thing up there, so i figured others probably did too. all of the two people who read this thing anyways. but also, it's been a series of short nothing blogs, just kind of saying random babbling, which is fun, but also retarded in a way. so here's a real blog. i owe my blogger some love.

yeah.. it's been wicked crazy (uh oh.. brianne's vocabulary is sneaking up on me). and i think it all started when i started working at the gap... not that it's necessarily super hard, just time consuming, and another thing added to my already pretty packed schedule. ... that's so weird.. i just went back to read my most recent real blog, which was over a month ago, and i wrote stuff about how i was so busy, and i couldn't handle it.. and that was pre-GAP days.. so wow.. why did i feel the need to add something else to my schedule? anyways... hmm.. in the past month i saw She Blonde Swede at Lestat's. It was really good. I went shopping with Ryan for Kristen's 21st bday. Had our first and following Circle K meetings where we've had up and downs in numbers of attendance, but mostly good over all. It obviously has decreased from the initial get go, but it freaks me out because I feel like people aren't coming back because they find me annoying or stupid or just plain weird, since I do most of the talking at the meetings, and I feel like people aren't going to join, or come to meetings... I don't know. But anyhoo.. another sad point is that it's mostly new members.. there are less than 5 returning members besides the board members, and all the rest are new. Which is nice in terms of recruitment, but what the heck happened to retention? I hope this just means that we're building a strong club for the future. That's what it's about eh? I missed FallFest, Jurassic 5, mxpx and Blackalicious played. All bands that I would have liked to see, but didn't have the energy to go... how sad. I've been working both at the GAP and at ICA at school, which is pretty fun, I sell people clothes they don't need, try and flirt with the cute boys and dress them up as if they were my boyfriends, and then get paid to watch athletic games (especially those boys in speedos at the swim meets.. yay), but it just leaves me with no time to myself. I usually get scheduled at 6am to do shipment, which is crappy because I'm ALWAYS late, and in danger of being fired for it. 6am I CAN'T handle.. but I try.. I should get a gold star for effort. We went to CKI South, Nicole was the chair, and it was excellent.. we beat CKI North in terms of amount of $ raised because the South rocks, as does Nicole, and although it wasn't as great because it wasn't in Torrance, it was still pretty fun. I got some good pictures of Hailes trying to push an egg with his nose in the grass, hilarious. Angelee turned 21, which means I'm getting close (22 days away!!) and I did some new things for the first time, which is an experience in itself. hmm... we're not gonna talk about that one.. my sister reads this. saw Jason Mraz at the epicentre for one of the last SD shows for awhile (that I know about anyways), and saw Annie play a show at Twiggs.. it was good times to be had by all. For Jason Mraz it was fun because Beth came down and I got to chill with her, hear her gush about Jason Mraz, and I guess I just enjoy her being starstruck because then it makes me feel less retarded for feeling the same way, well maybe not as extreme..haha just kidding Beth.

i dunno, I guess that's it... just school, work, circle k.. not in that order, but being too busy for my own good. i feel like i haven't really talked to a lot of my friends, and i don't know if that's because i haven't been available, or just due to everyone being further apart you really have to make the effort to keep in touch. but at the same time, i feel like the effort should be two sided, because i'm already self concious enough, and i don't need to be chasing after people begging for friends like the dork that i am. so i guess i've just been feeling lonely a lot lately, or alienated... but i don't know why. i should probably learn to not take things so personally because everyone is busy, but it doesn't mean they're blowing me off.. but who knows.. i definitely get a lot of weird vibes though, but those can also be self created as well. i guess i'm just not as independent of a person that i think that i am, and i need a lot of assurance and attention and affirmation... and when i don't get it, i start to doubt myself and think that there's something wrong with me. but ironically enough, when i do get it, i don't know what to do with it, and i just feel like people are being facetious, but i guess deep down inside it's those little things that you do need to hear, because although one may act like they don't believe you, it still gives them warm fuzzies. i guess lately i haven't been around enough positive human contact, and there are times when i feel like people don't value me as much as i value them, which is hard, but that's the way life is yeah? it just makes me feel like a dork though. i spend all day trying to please people, because that's my job... i don't want to have to do it just for someone to like me. dana told me once freshman year that real friendship shouldn't be so hard... and that's really true. and i say "i guess" a lot... i guess. (jk). but that's probably another sign of my insecurities, and why i'm spilling my guts out in a public forum i don't know.. but this is what i'm thinking at 4:32am on a wednesday morning... bordering on 22 hours since the time that i woke up yesterday.. although i did have a nice 1.5 hour nap today. it helped me not fall asleep in class like the so many times i have before.

lastly there's just a lot of house drama going on lately. i guess that's the result of living with an apartment full of girls, but not always... just certain ones. kimmy swears that i have the roommate curse or something because this is the fourth year that i've had roommate issues.. never the same, just always difficult. then i start to wonder.. is it me? this time... it's partly my own fault, sort of... but i was hesitant about living here in the first place. i didn't really want to live with random strangers because you never know how it's going to turn out, really good or really bad. and then they always say that living together takes tolls on people's friendships, and that's probably true too. i had issues and concerns about living here before, and taking advice from friends, relatives, and my own thinking (and lazyness), i wound up here. i still don't really know what to make of it still, but i know that it's going to be interesting the rest of the 8 months. there are times when i don't really feel at home, or super comfortable, and that just kind of sucks when you have to live there, but i guess there's not much i can do. my mom tells me that there's a whole world of people that i'm not going to get along with, so maybe this will just prepare me for it. don't get me wrong.. it's not as horrid as the crazy psycho lady from sophomore year.. i don't know if anything will ever be as bad as that... i do like my roommates, it's just awkward i guess.. and uneasy at points.. and for those of you who know me, and know what's going on, i'm sure you can gage why i feel this way... but sometimes i don't even know why i feel the way i do... so maybe not. now i'm starting to feel like pete holiday who complains about his roomies on his website.. i just hope mine don't have any redneck cousins/friends that are going to come beat my ass.

my sister sent me this online.. i think she's in hawaii right now.. but i'm not really even sure.. what a bad sister i am.. shoot.. what a bad sister she is.. isn't even sending me a postcard. but it's pretty interesting, it's this analyzation based on my name.. .:

As Jeanyah you have a great love of nature and the out-of-doors. All the finer things of life and beauties of nature are an inspiration to you and you are attracted to the mysteries of nature. Difficulty in expression results in your being too positive, blunt, and candid in speech and although you are easily offended by others, you do not show it. You crave affection and understanding, but rarely find it as others do not understand you and accuse you of being cool and aloof. The average person would never realize the true depth of your nature. A very individual, independent person, you live within your own thoughts. The insecurity you experience from limited verbal expression and social ease results in a jealous possessiveness and suffering through frustration, repressed emotion, and self-consciousness. This name would cause tension affecting the eyes, teeth, sinuses, ears or throat. There could also be a sensitivity in the heart, lungs, and respiratory organs, and frequent headaches. do your own

well i've shared far too much tonight, procrastinated enough, and i'm probably going to pay for all of this later... but anyhoo. come to masquerade ball... pretty please with a cherry on top.

COME TO MASQUERADE BALL!!!

okay.. so i've been stressing out big time.. and have been super busy up the anus with school and work and circle k. so please please please make my day and come to masquerade ball.

it's nov 2nd, 11:30pm - nov 3, 3am (saturday night/sunday morning) a 3 hour dance on a 3 deck cruise ship with a dj, karaoke and live music!! my awesome friend Annie Bethancourt is going to play. whoo hoo.. come see her. it's semiformal (yay dress up) and the theme is black and white. come come come!! tickets are $20 and you can buy them at the Price Center box office at UCSD... or rsvp to ucsdcki@hotmail.com

please come, i don't want to be the worst president in the world. :(

maybe if i was less delirious.. i would have done this earlier.

HAPPY BELATED 21st BIRTHDAY ANGELEE!!!

it's okay... she knows i remembers.. i sent her argyle socks and a *NSYNC birthday card. yeah i know you're jealous.

*ps... look at my new pix.. they're sexy. :)

philly told me i needed more pictures on my blog... and so at her request, and her pictures, i did... cuz i mean really.. who can say no to philly?

sometimes.. i really don't understand how people work, and what they think. but i guess that's what makes this world so interesting, is that there's all these different people's with all these different views. although they don't agree with mine, who am i to say who's wrong and who's right. i just kind of need to let people do their thing, and i need to find my own thing to do, and be happy with it. i dunno.. this world confuses me sometimes.

i did some bad things tonight

hahaa.. so i jinxed myself. right after i blogged about how much i was blogging.. i stopped. oh well. i shouldn't even be blogging.. but oh well. hmm.. so much has happened in the past few days. i don't even know where to start really. Saturday night.. after i got off work, sakura and kathy and i went to chili's to celebrate her birthday once again... it was good times.. good food at chili's. (i'm a total piggy). sakura came over and i watched her drink and we ran around my house while brianne sat on my computer and tried to find cute boys online. hahaha.. i drove sakura home at 3am and came back and crashed... the next day was filled with circle k and school. i had the board meeting at 2pm and then went to julia's house that night to tape stuff for my sound class. it was way fun, we kept laughing, and she had a nice nice house that sits on the beach, beautiful!! it was really funny once because her roommate came out and used the house phone to call his cell phone because he couldn't find it, and it turned out being in his pocket. came back and worked on cki stuff until 7am where i just had to go to bed, until 9:30 and then did more cki stuff, ran errands, carted around Ryan because he was sick and carless, and then more cki stuff. tuesday i worked at 6am, got lost trying to find it, went to school after working extended hours, and almost fell asleep in class, went to the library afterwards, came home did homework and crashed. today i had to work at 7am, and then go to school and do cki stuff. yuck. tonight i relaxed, watched dawson's creek. yay. tomorrow my hours got cut so i only have to work until 11am.. which is nice.. i haven't decided if i'm going to do the selfish thing and go home, or go to school for cki junk yet. *sigh. but if i go to campus i'm going to get my tri-delt top picks of ucsd calendar. haha.. yay.. hottie boys in a calendar soon to be on my wall. whoo hoo! hmm.. anyways

there has been a lot of house drama lately. i don't know quite what to think or say about the whole thing. but it's nice because it's helped me find my real friends, and my real support. and i do really love my friends that have helped me through my difficult and awkward times. and it sucks because we may not have time to talk all the time.. but when you need them, they are there. thanks guys!! you know who you are. :) other than that... drowned in cki, started work doing shipment at frikkin 6am.. it sucks. yikes.. and school, three hour lectures are not so fun all the time. but we'll see. i don't know what to say.. i'm delirious.. i need to get out of here!!

yikes.. i've been blogging a lot lately... but i think maybe it's just because school started.. and i need to procrastinate somehow... but still feel semi productive.
i just wanted to say..

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!! to my honey Sakura. :)

did you hear that manny? MY honey... not yours.
she's mine. :P

before i forget about my semi-brush with greatness, i wanted to let the world know. so thursday night while i was driving down to la jolla to run random errands, before heading to pete's show, i was listening to 91x and they said to call for new found glory (with something coporate and finch) tickets. kimmy and i wanted to go to this concert so badly.. but i didn't have the money.. so i thought it would kick ass if i won tickets, and plus then you get to meet the band. i started calling on my cell phone (wasting all my daytime minutes of course), and whenever you call those things you never really expect anything (especially when you have to be caller 9), so i was just calling for fun. when i was in middle and high school i won a few things, like free cd's and tickets to MTV's Rock and Jock (which i was SO excited because Dean Cain was there), but anyways... so i called.. and finally it started ringing. it was kind of cool because a week or so again Vivian won some stuff off 92/1.. so my car would be the lucky car... well, for winning stuff off the radio.. not for anything else. :P so yeah.. it was ringing.. and then a guy picked up and said.. "hello, 91x.... you're caller number.... 8" and then hung up. much like the woman in the mervryn's commercial i screamed out "noooooooo" and almost crashed my car while driving on the 52. but yeah.. i was SOOOOOO close to winning those tickets i would have cherished... and i was so upset for being caller number 8. *sigh* although it is the story of my life... always the bridesmaid, never the bride. or some shit like that.

i'm so antsy right now.. and i don't even really know what to do. a harsh lesson has been learned this week.. and you know.. i don't know.. it's something that i should have learned a long time ago... but i guess it just really needs to be beat into my head... because this is the 3rd time that it's happened.. and i guess i didn't really learn my lesson until now. and who knows if i'm too nice or naive of a person to just let it slide this time. only time will tell i guess. but carrie and i were talking about people who step on other people, to get what they want, no matter the costs, and she said it was human nature.. survival of the fittest. and i say that it sucks. sure.. it's life and i can't avoid it. and i feel stupid for being an idealist where i think that people should be considerate of others.. and that's my fault i guess. pete told me once that i was a total doormat because i was so passive and never said anything to anyone that was bothering me, and today brianne reiterated the same thing. i know that this probably doesn't make any sense to anyone.. but i guess.. if you want to take anything from reading this.. please just be considerate of others. especially your friends. take their feelings into consideration, and try not to always put yourself before others. and if i'm ever too nice to other people who i shouldn't be nice to, give me a good whack in the head. thanks.

this has been such a weird/tiring/stressful week.. and it's only half over. yikes. well.. haha.. technically.. it's completely over for me..because i don't have classes thursday or friday! whoo!! wow.. how did i manage that? i don't even know.. but i know i pay for it the beginning of the week. hmm.. let's see. all fo my classes are really late, but because of circle k, i've had to go early. monday it was camptoons, tuesday and today it was korean bbq. so i get up way early.. go to school and whore myself out on library walk all day, and then go to a 3 hour class. fun huh? i swear.. i almost had a nervous breakdown in my car.. it was insane. the beginning of school is so stressful!! we're trying to organize things when things are the least organized, and trying to recruit members and convince everyone your club is better than any frat/sorority/club has to offer. with out 2.5 guys, nerdy girls, sakura, tanya and no alcohol policy. :) jk. anyways... so yeah.. it's been a busy week.. but my only comfort is that it'll all be over soon. i have just been way too stressed out trying to do too many things.. but whatevers.. i finally have my class schedule figured out... which is nice. 3 3-hour lectures that only meet once a week. it has it's up sides and down sides. i have no money though.. my rent was due on the 1st, and i haven't paid it yet, i can't afford to buy books, so i haven't been reading, and i have 3 assignments due next week, and i've figured out that i'm the purseholder of our apartment.

which brings me to another topic that i've been thinking about lately... about how i'm not really the "typical" college girl.. and how i could change, or if i want to be like that even. sometimes i feel so far behind everyone else, and so naive about things.. that sometimes i feel like i want to do things, not because i want to really do them, but just to know what everyone else is talking about, or to be able to say that i have. which is a shallow reason for everything.. i'm sure, but it makes me think, that these things that i do or do not do make me the type of person who i am.. and would i want to change that? or am i just sick of who i am and i want to "re-invent" myself. if only it was as easy as britney spears makes it seem. but at the same time.. even if i were to start trying new things... deep down inside.. i'm still that regular boring mousy girl who is uncomfortable out of her comfort zone.. so then what do i do?

yeah.... so that was a tangent that no one needs to read, but i felt like i wanted to say. i'm excited though because my sister said i'm going to get a new bed.. i'm getting a full size bed!! whoo hoo. i do feel like my current bed is a little too small for my big ass. and hopefully it'll be a little firmer so that my back doesn't groan at me anymore. but not too much that it's not enjoyable anymore. gotta find that happy medium. my sister is coming down to san diego for the asian film festival because her movie is in it. it's probably the first time in two years that i'll have seen her in san diego... even though she's not really coming to visit me. but it's kind of exciting..i want to go check out her hotel room. :) my weekend will be filled with cleaning my room, doing homework, doing circle k stuff and work. yikes.. but i do get to go out and play tomorrow night. i'm going to go see pete's band SheBlondeSwede play. haha.. even if my car breaks down.. i swear i'll be there!! and tonight i was watching dawson's creek. it was so sickingly disgusting (all the cutesy coupley dawson & joey romantic stuff), i couldn't even watch because i was going to cry. but then they ruined it with dawson having a girlfriend. but i think the absolute worst part was when he turned the whole thing around and blamed it on joey for "not knowing what she wants." how did that happen?!? geez.. i swear.. guys are such jerks. anyways.. i'll stop. i get to go to bed and not wake up until a decent hour like noon or something :) no more korean bbq!

wow.. i feel like i haven't blogged in forever.. although it really hasn't been that long. i think it's a combination with being too lazy, tired, moving, starting school, doing cki stuff and having only a dial up connection. although that doesn't prohibit me from staying online for like 3, 4 hours. which isn't so bad, cuz no one ever calls me anyways, except now i share the phone line with roommates, and they're popular as all hell. anyways... hmm.. so since then.. monday i cleaned and packed. well mostly i slept, ran some errands, and sat around on my ass because i wasn't motivated enough to pack. and then when i mom came home, i ran upstairs and pretended like i had been packing the whole day. :) the packing went late into the night.. and i finished at like 3am, fell asleep on the couch at 4 while dubbing some tapes, woke up at 7am when i dragged myself upstairs to my bed, and slept until 11am (tuesday), packed up my car and left. got to sakura's house (with my entire life in my car) at 2pm, right on time for the board meeting, 4 hours later.. i finally got to go home. where i unpacked my car.. (whew) and went to dinner with Vivian at World Famous where they had $1 shrimp tacos.. they were soooooo good. yum. yeah. too bad that i so poor that i can't even afford $1 tacos. yeah.. on top of not being able to afford anything.. i have to pay a $15 charge for vivian's check bouncing (even though I wrote her a check) and pay a $35 parking ticket for my meter being expired for 5 minutes while I was in a meeting for cki. CRAPPY.

hmmm... what else. school on thursday.. was SO not feeling the school thing. i didn't really like either of the classes that i had.. so i'm thinking i might drop them (don't worry.. i'll sign up for new ones.. hopefully). friday.. handed out camptoons.. got on the wrong parking shuttles (and yes.. parking is as atrocious as ever), chilled until i had to go back to school to work at the vball game. it was pretty exciting.. there was a TON of people there because the dept. did this free food, and big promotion dealio to get all the people out there. and we won against cal po-po.. it was good news. it was kind of sad.. there was this little stuffed mustang that they were beating and kicking around. rhiannon and i sat around and made snide comments.. it was fun :) after that Vivian, Emily, Brianne and i went to the Pike part that i swear i was going to fall into the pool, and was crowded with waaaaay too many people (hoochified girls... prolly freshman), went to Mark's house after that, and then jack's house after that. i was just following my drunk roommates around (drunkenly) to wherever they thought the boys were at. hmm.. so i passed out on some guy's couch, and got finally got to go home at 3am where i managed to brush my teeth and drink water before passing out in bed.

woke up today.. in pretty good shape.. just thirsty. bummed and lazed around (after swearing i was going to be productive). and after watching sappy movies like america's sweethearts, someone like you and serendipity.. i dragged myself to work. it was a good game... we played csusb, which is ranked #1, and ucsd was really good... but in the end we lost :( I got to see tanya.. and her parents (who are so cute) were visiting her. came back and chilled.. cleaned my room (finally!) while listening and prancing around to britney spears. heheh... afterwards.. pete came over.. and he sat around and endured emily, vivian, brianne and i being retarded.. and was thoroughly enthralled about how girls could multitask and carry on multiple conversations all at once. yeah man.. chicks rock. hahaha. he strung the guitar justin lent me.. and played a little bit of stuff.. while i sat there with a dopey grin and an amazed look on my face.. i totally want to learn how to play the guitar... and here i am now.. chillin at 5am (yikes).. talking to cool philly and blogging.. being scared at the ghettoness of my neighborhood because i'm hearing glass shatter and car alarms going off, and when i called the police they said they couldn't do anything about it because it was so long ago. god dang it.. all i wanted was someone to drive up and down the street once to make sure everything was okay.. what other important business could they be doing at 5am!? geez!! protect my safety here people.. isn't that what your job is? ugh.. i am not a fan of the police right now. anyways.. i should go.. i have cki business to take care of tomorrow.. good morning!!

oh yeah.. happy belated birthday manny and mike salamanca!!

manny: thanks for the birthday wishes
jean: you're welcome.. did you have a fun birthday?
manny: i don't remember it.

ALRIGHT. so i'm entirely too frustrated because my day has not shaped up so well, and it's continuing to be sucky. my email is being way too slow for my liking, but it's stuff that i need to read, so i figure i'll blog while i wait. i'll probably be done before my inbox even appears. damn the studentlink. anyways... hmm.. friday i worked. it was okay. my manager was is a pissy mood, and decided to yell at me. i mean.. it was things that i was doing wrong, but they were things that everyone was doing wrong. and it was more like his inconsistency that made me angry. and also the fact that he said that he felt like i wasn't dedicated to doing my job well, where i got really upset and offended because i busted my ass to be there, and for someone to say that makes it seem like all the effort was for nothing. anyways.. it's done, and i'm never going back. (for real this time). maybe to another store, but not that one.. for sure.. just like there will always be a special hatred in kathy and my hearts for the UTC Gap. bastards.

anyways.. came home and tried to pack so i could leave on saturday. yeah.. didn't happen. instead.. i rushed out of Torrance on Saturday with my things unpacked and went to the banquet (where there was good food at least) and then rushed down to OB to the Anya Marina show with Jason Mraz as the guest. so here's a story that will make me sound completely lame, but i figure i'll say so anyways. i got really good parking that night, and when i was walking to the entrance, there was a little gated area behind Java Joe's. and i thought it was someone's backyard. and then i heard guitar music and a little bit of singing and i thought it was cute that someone who liked to sing lived behind Java Joe's and liked to play his music outside. and then i thought that "wow this person is really good" and then I realized it was Jason Mraz warming up and felt all giddy and squeamish and resisted all urges to start the fawning before he even went up on stage. yes.. i'm retarded.. i know.

anyways.. the show was really good. (both of them). annie and i hung out with jon, and then afterwards i pimped annie out using my footage of her at the hotel cafe during jason's say anything game. we're a good team. philly and i sported our "i *heart* soundguy" goods and entertained people. philly is so fun, i'm glad that i went to the show and got to talk to her. i'm glad she convinced me to go. haaha.. she was one of the bigger reasons why i was going, so i'm glad i had a good time with her. after it all annie and i chit chatted for a little bit, and then i got home at 2am to the sounds of my roommate and her friend. yeah.. it was interesting. anyways.. got up the next day, did the marshall fair for recruiting for circle k. we got some people to sign up which is exciting. drove home (while trying not to fall asleep). fell asleep once i got home, hung out with my sister a little bit, and then back home to do more of the same doldrums.

today has been craptacular so far with bad drivers, people wasting my time, no good news, and me stressing out because i have to pack and clean by noon tomorrow so i can be there in time for the board meeting. (and i also have to prepare for that). and i also realized that masquerade ball is only a little over a month away. what the heck.. where did my summer go?!

carrie is TOO cute. she just sent me virtual flowers, (yay.. carrie loves me!) which i haven't done in ages, but it totally made my day/night. whatevs. still busy, still tired, but at least i feel all warm and fuzzy inside. THANKS CARRIE! you rock my world.

i am butt ass tired. i got home from work 20 minutes ago, and have to be back there in six and a half hours. grrr... but i just wanted to say that i'm still alive. barely. i'm holding on by thread. so i'm gonna be like carrie and say that i'll blog later. hahah.. but here are some highs and lows of my past week

high: seeing hottie nick lachey
low: my car breaking down on the freeway and being stranded all of friday afternoon
high: hanging out with kimmy in laguna hills
low: missing pete's show :(
high: organizing stuff at my sd apt, seeing some of my sd friends, and not having to deal with parents
low: being sexiled from my apt (by choice.. but still an uncomfortable situation)
high: getting my bed moved in.. and eating dinner with my dad
low: the retarded girl at ranch 99, and finding out i live next to a mortuary
high: watching cable all day :)
low: getting in trouble for stupid stuff that i had no control over
high: going on a date with sakura
low: being too busy these past few days to eat!

anyways.. that's all very vague and i'm sure doesn't mean anything to anyone except for my-crazy-self but maybe someday i'll make sense to you. anyhoo.. it's time for this body to go to bed. grr.. i'm not really tired now.. but i'm going to have the worst time getting up tomorrow if i don't. and i have to pack and clean and get ready to move my desk and dresser.. and i'm working for the next two days!! yikes! bye bye bye! *muah*

mm.. today was an interesting day. good and bad. it was the first day that i had a break and a little bit of normalcy in my life. i didn't have to work at the gap today, which was nice. it kind of sucks as well because i'm not making the money. but it was way nice to sleep in and not have to rush back to go to work on time.. or stand on my feet in platforms all day!! but i was still so tired all day, and i took my car in to get looked at, and the men said there was nothing wrong. i swear there's something wrong, like it's getting there.. but they won't fix it.. so i just have to drive around until my car completely breaks down again. :P so they can make the most money possible out of me. dang them.

anyways.. here's the bad of my day at work today: i had to go to the post office and drop something off for work. so i stood in this ridiculously long slow moving line and then this crazy irate man came in and started complaining to a worker about how he had to wait in this line even though he was home all day but still got one of those "sorry we missed you" notices. she dismissed him and made him stand in line, which made him even madder, and stood behind me muttering things. i was quite scared. he said something really rude to me once and i just kind of ignored him, and then he started hacking and coughing (on purpose i tell you) and right in my hair. like i could FEEL it ... and then i tried to step away to not be in the direct line of his nasty germs, so he took a step closer to me and coughed again!! SO rude. some guy was all like "cover your mouth man." which i was grateful for (thank you!!) but the damage was already done.. i felt very gross and diseased. ew.

okay.. good part of my day that makes me love my work: i went downstairs to drop off a package at the guard. and the elevator doors open and i see this really hot guy talking on his cell phone. we exchange hi's and how are you's and then i realize that he's NICK LACHEY from 98 Degrees. I totally choked. I wanted to like stop and say something to him, maybe make him serenade me.. but he was on his phone.. probably with his fiancee or something (grr). I walked over to the guard and checked the sign in sheet, and for sure it was him. *sigh* i called Nicole and told her that i saw him, and at first she was like "who's that.. he sounds familiar" and then once she realized who it was she was like "OH MY GOD" hehe.. i locked myself in my car to be all giddy so the people who worked there wouldn't think i'm super retarded. *sigh.. nick lachey*

other than that.. not too much. watched big brother 3, i should probably go pack and clean soon. seeing as how i'm going to sd and have NOTHING packed. yeah.. good job jean. :P don't miss me too much this weekend. *muah*

god.. i feel like it should be next week already. with all the work i've been doing the past few days... i am SOOOO tired. again.. not complaining.. just.. uhh.. commenting i suppose. friday i worked, saturday i worked as well (that's also a problem with working in a job that doesn't give you weekends off. the days of the week just blur together, and it doesn't matter ... you just can't figure what day it is anymore.) sunday i drove down to sd with beth at 5am.. worked at the rough water swim. it was the first time i had gone, so i didn't know exactly what we were doing. but we had beach duty. and when i got dressed at 5am i was freezing so i put on jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt. thank goodness i put a tank top underneath. but so yeah.. needless to say when high tide rolled it.. i got very wet.. my jeans didn't appreciate it so much. and one time the water came up and took away my flip flops that i was wearing. so yes.. and as i cautiously tried to go out and save my shoes and not get too wet, another giant wave came.. and i was done. so i just walked out with the water up to my thighs and grabbed my shoes. i'm sure the people up on the cliff were having a good laugh, i know all of the circle k people did. i could hear them. anyways.. it was fun... those people who swim that are amazing. haha.. all of us girls got excited when the young men's competition was up and hundreds of hot guys in speedos piled up on to the beach. yum. haha. anyways.. on top of getting all wet with salty beach water all day, i also got sunburnt and nasty tan lines. sigh.. the things i do for circle k. later on went to my new apartment.. it's pretty cool.. a little empty .. but i also don't live there yet. i'm pretty excited.. i stole one of the giant posters from gap and i'm going to hang it up in the living room wall. the guys pretty cute.. too bad i can't steal that abercrombie shit. :) invited people over for dinner. hahah we walked to ralphs to buy groceries. yeah.. i live behind target and ralphs.. (ghetto) and down the street from el cotixan's and jack in the box. dangerous.

hmm.. monday worked at 5am, tuesday worked at 4:30am, interned at 1pm, met with Joan at 6pm, wednesday interned at 9am, worked at 2pm. my life is crazy. tomorrow i'm not scheduled.. and i'm kind of looking forward to it. although they're probably going to call me... i just might have to go.. i'm that broke. although i'm interning.. so we'll see. hmm hmm hmm.. not much. this weekend going to san diego to move stuff. going to catch my friend pete and his band she blonde swede play.. you wanna come? it'll be a good show.... maybe we'll also have margaritas at ryan's new pad in PB. haha.. non-alcoholic of course.. cuz i'm not 21. :P but i'm tired.. and have mucho things to do. so goodnight foolios!

la di da di da... i'm at my internship.. with not so much to do.. so i thought i'd blog because i'm "grounded" at home. yes.. i did say grounded. my mom told me i wasn't allowed to talk on the phone or go on the computer until i cleaned my room. yikes. beth was trying to tell me how in high school her parents always made her do chores before she could see Ryan... but then i reminded her that she was also in high school. :P i don't know.. i mean.. i know my room is messy, but i also have had no time to clean it, always being at work or interning. and when i do come home, i'm so pooped that i'm not all like "hey.. let's clean!" *sigh.. i don't know.. only a few more weeks. but beth did agree that this entire summer my mother hounded me about not having a paying job.. and now that i do, she's telling me that it's bad to have such a lame job, that takes up too much time and energy for not enough pay. lame-o.

thursday i got up early early to take international vice president carrie (haha.. isn't that what you told me to call you instead :P) i got up while the sky was still dark and fought traffic to be carrie's bitch. hahah.. but she paid for my breakfast, so i guess that makes her my sugar mama. anyways.. came back and napped and then went to the dentist. yuk.. they made my mouth sore all day. :P then my internship. and then i watch PETE SAMPRAS beat Andy Roddick in 3 sets. the game was amazing and after all that talk about how he should quit and stuff.. he played so so so well. i was so excited. the girl from work thought i was super lame. so anyways.. it rained.. yuk.. i went home, but on the upside.. i got to watch Big Brother 3! whoo hoo! i was so bummed because I always miss it because of work.. but yay! no work. it was really good. i'm so sad that Roddy got voted off. boo boo boo. hmm.. talked to nicole and helped her with her budget a bit, and then talked to beth.. all while cleaning my room and listening to good music. :) i got my Live cd (jason mraz)... yay.. i missed it cuz i lent my copy to beth.

one last thing.. it occurred to me yesterday that i hate guys when they use those like "affectionate" terms towards you.. hahha especially if you like them, and they know it, but they don't like you back. it should be outlawed or something. it's not fair because it's such a manipulative tool, and they soooooo know it... and it totally messes with your mind, when really it doesn't mean anything at all. grrr.. but have a good day anyways!

i don't even know what to write, but i feel as if i should blog... but i' feel like such a work horse... i've been working non-stop, and due to my excellent slacker skills, i still find time to go online. i'm horrible.. i should really be cleaning my room right now.. but anyhoo.. for the past two weeks i've been interning as well as working at the gap. and yes.. it is by my own choice (happy carrie?) but sort of not.. because i need to keep the internship for my experience and just to be responsible and all that crap. but i need the gap to get paid. thus.. i run back and forth like a oompa loompa. i guess it's kind of good that it's only for this month and i didn't have to do it for the whole summer. hmm.. do you have no idea what i'm talking about.. let's see what my life has been like lately...

Monday: Labor Day.. national holiday.. everyone was enjoying the sunshine and the hotness and i was working.. joy. came home tired as crap.

Tuesday: work in the morning (8-11), get my car.. which cost $1000 to get fixed.. yikes!, 12-5 interning (keeping in mind it takes me roughly 45 to get there), and then i got called into work a split shift so it was back to the gap from 6-10. on the good news i had a hot date with International Vice President Chen (hehehe) which was fun because with both of us being so busy but with different schedules it's a lot different from when i used to see her everyday (hah.. when we used to "work out"). but i had to stay late an extra half an hour to finish replenishing, so she had to wait in the Ralphs parking lot (sorry!!!) went home and crashed

Today: woke up, went to my intern from 9-2, work from 3-10, crazy... i didn't even have time to eat lunch in between. i am pooped!

it's not like i'm trying to complain really... just i dunno.. letting people know.. haha.. maybe i just want the attention. and although i am busy busy.. my mother still finds a way to nag me and tell me that i'm not doing enough. grrr. second child syndrome sucks. anyways.. back to the horse tomorrow, friday, saturday and sunday.. blah blah blah. but it's good.. i guess when i get my fatty paycheck it'll make it all worth it.. i hope. love ya! *muah!*

yikes.. it's september already.. school starts soon.. but not as soon as manny! hahahaah ... sucker starts on tuesday. hmm.. it's been a busy few days.. as it will continue through the end of the month. i don't know whether i should glad that i'm not just sitting around bored.. or perturbed that it seems like i hardly have any free time where i'm not completely pooped. i just started working at the gap again for a month, and on top of my internship, i'm barely at home (which can be good), but running around like a work horse for all the hours of the day. but i do get paid at the gap, which is good.. although with the money that i spend there i probably spend more than i make. but i've been good and resisting lots of little things.. and bought jeans (4 pairs for $100) but that's something that i really needed.

other than that.. my life hasn't been too interesting. talked to people online here and there. went to a tv taping for circle k.. it was fun. i made joe and beth go. beth and i drooled over sean maguire while joe drooled over carmen electra.. yes.. she guest starred on the show.. see.. you foolios should have come. but.. in sad news.. my car died on friday night while taking beth home. thank goodness i wasn't on the freeway though.. or else i would have caused an accident for sure. but it was midnight, and traumatizing and my car is pretty angry at me, and now i feel like i'm 12 years old because i have to get a ride from my dad everywhere i go. which is a pain in the ass for when i go to work (which is everyday). i'm hoping that if i get a rental car, maybe i can get a suv or something.. hahaha. last night i had interesting conversations with Philly, who I met from being a rabid fan of Jason Mraz. we had really good talks about circle k and key club, and jason and other good stuff.. but it prompted me to have a weird dream last night that had jason mraz in it.. but also the cast of 90210, plus all my circle k friends. crazyness. but i must go because i have to clean.. yuk.. i hate living at home with my way-too-asian parents. haha.. but i also have to work tomorrow... but at least i get paid time and a half!! whoo! let's just hope i don't spend it. :P

oh yeah.. and read beth's latest blog. it's soooo funny. and too cute. :) (it should be the one about jason mraz). it says at the top "this is to make jean happy" or something like that. plus carrie blogged for me... not all the scandalous details that i wanted.. i know you're hiding something! but nonetheless it was because of me.. hahaha.. man.. i feel so loved (and conceited) right now. hah. toodles!

okay.. as promised.. here's what happened for the past few weeks.. i hope you didn't miss me too much. ;)

- august 3rd and 4th -
i don't really remember much of what happened this weekend... (man.. i must be getting old).. or maybe nothing too important happened. i know on saturday i drove to brea for joey's birthday dinner. a bunch of his friends from cal po po getting him drunk at this silly restaurant, bobby mcgee's, where they embarass you worse than they do at friday's. but it was fun. sunday.. i just slept and packed.. i think that was it. i didn't sleep at all that night cuz our flight was at 7am, so we left at 5.. so i just packed and stayed up cuz i didn't think i'd be able to wake up.

- august 5th - 9th -
wow... if i blog in clusters of days.. maybe it won't take as long as i thought. hmm.. nevermind.. that's not going to work.

- august 5th -
my dad drove sakura and i to the airport, tired as all hell we checked in and waited in the long ass security line. it went all the way to the other terminal.. jeebus. but i guess it's necessary.. although lines like that don't really prevent what happened a few months ago. but i don't see much of a difference besides the fact that they make a few people take off their shoes. i don't know why the lines are SO much longer.. i guess they just take a longer look at your bags and such, and well check your id's.. i guess that's pretty time consuming. anyways.. we ate mcdonald's (yum.. their hashbrowns are the best) and then got to the gate right as they began boarding. yay us. got on the plane, and tried to sleep as much as possible. in between us eating chocolate, laughing and pushing each other around, we just slept.. or tried to. got to orlando in the afternoon... greeted by it's hot and sticky humid weather.. blah... got picked up by some lssp people - pic, kathleen, ricky.. yada yada yada. sakura and I walked around kissimmee (what a cute name for a city!!), ate lunch at the Sizzler.. yum.. and chilled in the hotel room, laughed, screamed. Watched Fear Factor and I made Sakura do our own version of Fear Factor jumping from bed to bed to prove that she was a triple jumper in high school. hahaha.. we were rolling around on the floor.. the people next to us must have thought we were crazy. tee hee. had the LSSP orientation that night.. haha.. our teams were organized by rooms.. and our team had 7/8's cal nev ha people.. so much for meeting new members. :P It was fun though, our room was the UCSD girls and we were next to Carrie and the CSULB girls and Lauren and we opened the connecting door.. it was a big ol slumber party.

- august 6th, 7th, 8th -
the kids came, we tried to make them go through drills... but they just wanted to play. and they were better than most of us.. hahaha but it was fun. we braved the heat with lots of water and sunblock and breaks. i got to cook spaghetti on tuesday night.. yum. On wednesday, the kids came again... but I was feeling kind of sick, so I abandoned the team.. (sorry!) and went to go rest.. but later got dragged out to buy food and cook, since i'm such a whiz in the kitchen. hahahah. bought and cooked hot dogs for 140 people.. man the people at walmart thought we were insane.. cleaned up, and then went right back to walmart to shop for dinner. cooked jambalaya (i'm being cultured.. whoo hoo) and cleaned up after that as well. That night in our room as we (or maybe just me and Sakura) worked diligently on the team headbands (go FIRE!) I also played Big Brother 3 nazi. damn Ryan who likes to talk while I'm watching my tv.. hung out in the cnh boy's room doing some quality old school cal nev ha bonding time... we're nuts. THURSDAY!! was tournament day!! yay! our super studly team (me, sakura, kieu, tanya, ryan skophammer, chris anderson, jackie (from nj) and dan schroeder (from az)) - and our awesome kids (cc, kinisha, johnelle and kevin (who flirted with sakura)).. we rocked.. haha.. i sprained my ankle in the first game and hobbled around being a gimpy cheerleader. the fourth and last game.. we played a team we didn't like too much and vowed to beat.. so I played hurt ankle and all (joey.. you should be proud). until i got tripped and knocked over by a big defender... and hailes caught that moment on his digital camera.. haha stupid hailes and his camera.. grr.. anyways.. we still won.. so we rock. :) said goodbye to the kids.. people cried.. and then we chilled. a big group of us ordered pizza and had a pool party at the hotel. megan was kind enough to order and pick up all the stuff (whoo hoo) and we had tons of leftovers. once again ... played big brother nazi that night :) and then got forced to go clubbing at Pleasure Island. yes.. forced.. by carrie. :P but it was all good.. so pic, maggie, megan, carrie, sakura and i headed off to orlando's downtown disney and off to Pleasure Island. it's 8 clubs for $20 although we only went to one... met up with nicole, manny, armando and alice and danced the night away. it's like tj, but no hoochie girls taking off their clothes. (good)... after visiting some and getting lost some.. we finally got home and slept.

- august 9th -
DISNEYWORLD!!!! YAAAAAAY!! sakura and i dragged our lazy out-late-clubbin butts outta bed and hopped on the ghetto shuttle to disneyworld. went to the magic kingdow (which is like disneyland).. LOVED IT...we ran all around the park hitting the big stuff like we were five years old. if my ankle wasn't sprained i bet we would have skipped. we contemplated getting one of those electric wheelchairs for me.. hahah.. maybe we wouldn't have to wait in any lines.. but i decided not too cuz i didn't want to look like a dork. after the fun and shopping and eating, we went to Epcot. we were really tired so we just shopped and looked around a little bit.. and took lots of photos of course. then met megan, kieu, ryan, hailes, lauren and tanya at this moroccan restaurant where hailes belly danced!! hahahahaha watched the illuminations show, and then sakura and i rushed off hoping the shuttle didn't leave us.. we got there right when it was gettting ready to go. yay. went back and packed to get ready for our full day ahead of us the next day...

- august 10th -
MORE DISNEYWORLD!! whoo hoo. we finished off Epcot and did MGM in record time. took a massive amount of pictures. sakura and i got obsessed with those imprinted pennies (where they smush the penny and make a design) i'm mad.. in the whole tour of the nations.. they had a penny for each country.. but NO China didn't have a penny.. and Japan's was in Morocco.. WHAT THE HECK.. man.. good thing my sister wasn't there.. she would have made all asians ban disneyworld for life. anyways.. ran around all the parks like maniacs trying to collect pennies.. went back to our new hotel (the convention hotel) and checked in... figured out we were in tower frikkin seven.. the furthest one out.. in the boonies. it was such a far far far walk. thank god nicole from wum gave us a ride as we collapsed on her doorstep. although.. the first person i saw at ICON was the one and only Pete Holiday.. *i'm so lucky* so yeah.. went to our fantabulous 8 person suite... showered, rested, trekked back to the convention center for opening session. later did candidate stuff, blah blah blah.

- august 11th -
workshops, caucusing - walked with manny.. which is an interesting side to be on.. rather than inside the caucus rooms.. there's a lot that goes on outside that you wouldn't think about. nothing really important, just different, governor's gala, district awards - congrats carrie! - and then the desert reception and then the dance and then hugs and kisses party in the ohio suite. fun fun fun... i sat around and talked to mary and justin during the night and met some cute boys from t-o and carolinas (yes.. those carolinas boys again.. hahah)

- august 12th -
house of delegates, sightseeing time (where i just stayed in a slept.. yah.. party pooper i know), then caucusing.. it was a busy night. there were a bunch of parties that night.. walked around a few, just kind of stayed in. oh i remember what i did.. i cleaned the suite and set up for ryan's "surprise" party (you're welcome ryan).. hung out a little bit, and then just kind of chilled. slept with nicole and joe that night (ooh la la) cuz sean came and slept with the ucsd girls, and i didn't want to sleep on the sofabed or with ryan (and be the homewrecker again this year) :P it's funny our suite was more of the district hang out suite... which is ironic because it was so far.. it would have made more sense to congregate in tower 5.. but us foolios are lazy and made everyone walk their asses out here. hahah.

- august 13th -
the last "real" day of icon. hmm.. in the morning we had more awards.. ucsd won 1st place in all of inter-frikkin-national for scrapbook.. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!! sakura was weeping a little.. it was so cute. we were so excited and almost ran cindy over when we went up on stage. i'm sure i was smiling like an idiot. and third place in newsletter .. haha.. we got all excited and jumped up and down.. and then sat back down. i didn't realize that i was supposed to go up and get the award.. haha.. so i ran up there all retardedly. had another house of delegates.. congrats carrie! now she's the new international vp.. hahah.. i tried to make the same fuss as i did with pete.. but carrie will hit me.. hahahaha i can see it in her eyes. that afternoon there was a wicked thunderstorm that was fun to watch. sakura and i got in the jacuzzi in our suite (awesome!) and i screamed because this guy i knew josh was on elimidate. haahahah i knew he was on it, but i never thought i was going to see it, and i did.. and it was the best. hahaah. did the whole farewell session thing.. cnh got distinguished district for last year WHOO HOO!! man.. we did good. last years district board ran up while the district chanted (even when the other district was getting their award) we're such annoying brats... hahahhha. it was exciting though to be part of it all. watched carrie get installed and they announced the winners for trustees and then it was time for the last dance. hahahah.. there was food .. meatballs and nachos and good healthy stuff like that.. so naturally sakura, hailes and i sat outside and ate while everyone else was dancing. watched carrie whore it up on the dance floor, as well as other people.. I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING! dissapointed when i saw the cute boy that i had my eye on dance with some other hoochie... hahaha. that night did laundry, packed, gave Pete his "Holiday" candles from the Gap (i'm the best present giver), swam a little, people came over... blah blah blah. i don't know if it was because of my ankle, because we were in tower 7, the humidity.. but i wasn't all over the place like usual.. which is good and bad. but i didn't talk to as many people as i wanted ... just hung out with the roomies.. which isn't bad. but i thought i would talk to mary or pete or nick more.. i mean.. these people were all busy (especially pete and the ladies.. hahaha) .. but still but whatevs.. it was enjoyable.. and i just lived vicariously through tanya anyways. :)

- august 14th -
sad.. time to go home, packed up our stuff, did some last minute souvenir shopping, got a taxi and ryan, kieu, sakura, tanya, hailes and i loaded up for the airport. everyone except kieu was on the same flight.. hahah.. so the 5 of us got those seats facing each other.. slept on top of each other, braved the annoying drunk people next to us, and held each others hands as we were startled by the sudden dip the plane took in turbulence. ryan left us in phoenix, and us lax'ers headed up to the front, slept some more and gushed about icon some more (and how we won first place in scrapbook.. guess who i sat next to.. :P) got to the airport, my dad, tanya's parents, hailes' family and jimmy were all there. i got my luggage went home and slept. whoo..

there it is.. finally. it seemed really quick, but it was fun.. i was ready to go home by the end of it. and my ankle is still sore some, my bags are still only half unpacked and our 8 rolls of film have been developed.. i had a good time at icon.. :)

hmm.. the rest of my life? hahah.. went back to my internship. i'm SO mad... my future husband Eli Swanson came in while i was at ICON.. (that's it!! i'm quitting circle k!!) he came in TWICE.. and i wasn't there.. damn it! according to Tosha, he looked goooood, and just my luck, he's not coming in anymore because he's quitting acting and going to medical school... damn damn damn!!! ugh... i think i'm going to go to columbia med next year. :P there goes my one chance at true happiness. hahaha.. i still can get his cell phone number and address! jk. (well not really.. but i don't have the guts to do that.. plus i don't want to go to jail for actually being a stalker).. i'll just stay slightly obsessed. hmm.. went to benji's family's karaoke party. it was interesting.. and very benji. hahah.. if you know benji, you know what i mean. saw jason mraz last thursday.. he was AMAZING as always. there was this kick ass 17 year old saxophone guy who played with Jason and Toca and Ian.. it was great. annie came and went up during the say anything game and rocked everyone's world. and beth came and now is just as in love with jason mraz. she was all "can he play at my wedding?" ahahhahaha we went to mel's diner afterwards, and i figured out that one time i drove in fatty traffic for 2 hours to see howie day after work at the virgin megastore on sunset.. i drove in a circle going the wrong way! went down the 101s to the 110s and then back up the 405n to get there... kind of like a triangle.. i went down and up the two diagonal sides instead of straight across. yes yes yes.. i'm a horrible person with directions.. i know. :P anyways.. not much since then.. chillin.. i started working at the gap today.. but most of my friends quit so it's not as fun. boo. but at least i'm getting paid. interning, working, not much else.. ooh.. tomorrow there's a big brother on! whoo hoo. and i'm tired now.. babbled too much.. but i applaud you for reading all the way to the end if you have. you are a marathon blogger reader ... hi-five!